//------------------------------// // Started With a Big Bang // Story: Road Trip // by MisterNick //------------------------------// The E. S. S. Pineapple Princess was one of Equestria's finest luxury liners. It had all of the modern accessories, safety features and entertainment options that any creature could want. It even had a late night fireworks show. So, when the vessel exploded two days out from port it made headlines around the world. It wasn't just that the boat had exploded that caught the attention of papers. It was the fact that every single occupant on that ship had survived. When readers discovered how much damage had been done to the vessel and how quickly it sank it was darn near miraculous that there were any survivors. Over the next few days passing boats sailed by to pick up the stranded ponies, griffons and other species. During the rescue mission both rescuer and rescuee noted the large tree floating in the water with a boulder perched upon it. Occasionally they would hear a disembodied call for help but when nobody could be found the ship would inevitably turn away and leave the boulder and tree floating in the sea. As the last boat drifted over the horizon the tree lifted its upper half and said, "Well that's the last of them. Looks like we're on our own." "Oh that's just fine. Just great," muttered the boulder as it rolled further back on the tree's trunk. "Now Tom I warned you that this wouldn't work. Once they didn't see anything they recognized that would be shouting they were out of there. At least I managed to use my magic to shield them from the blast." The tree gauged the horizon and sighed, "Looks like we'll have to swim." "Swim," questioned Tom who rolled up closer to the upper half of the tree, "Do I look like I can swim?" "Fine. I'll swim, you just hold on." "How do I, a boulder do that ol' pal?" If the tree had eyes it would have rolled them in response. Instead it wrapped a couple of the sturdier branches around Tom. Slowly it began to wiggle its roots and other and began to do a respectable back stroke through the rolling waves. Tom, who was less than pleased at the situation however muttered, "It's all your fault anyway." "What do you mean my fault," said the tree as it stopped stroking. "Ancestral pony lands for a vacation spot? Harmony, I swear you've lost your nut sometimes." "I work with a lot of ponies. I was and still am curious," replied Harmony indignantly, "Besides you blew up the boat." Tom squirmed indignantly on Harmony's trunk, "First off we were stuck in the luggage room and I wanted to check out more of the ship." "Good luck with the stairs." Tom ignored that and continued, "Second how was I supposed to know they would have steel chains down there." "And you just had to..." "When you see steel you fight it! That's the rock way," exclaimed Tom. It sighed and tilted to one side, "How was I supposed to know that somebody put the fireworks nearby as well." Harmony resumed paddling as a lull fell over the duo. Slowly but surely they cut through some waves and rode others. Even the monsters of the deep stayed away, perhaps confused at the odd pair that made their way over the dark ocean waters. Tom set their course as best as it could. Being a boulder with an occasionally "magnetic" personality had its uses. Yet, in spite of its usefulness it did have its limits and when night had fully fallen and the moon hung larger than either could have recalled they both agreed to ride the current for awhile. Tom new that even a magical tree had its limits and that it was best not to push them, especially in the ocean. "Hey Tom," began the tree quietly. "Yeah?" "Is it true, you know, that you know where the ponies came from before Equestria." "I wouldn't have said it if I didn't." "Where?" "Why," answered Tom sounding tired even though it was unlikely what with him being a boulder. "I just need to know," said Harmony as one of its branches swiped at the water gently, "After all if I or we ever attempt this trip again I want to know where to go." Tom grumbled inaudibly before finally saying, "Well okay but just don't let it get around. Some of those caller vines I hear can't keep a secret." "It's safe," replied Harmony excitedly, "Tell me." "Okay well earth ponies come from the land of Akitt. It's a hilly land that at the time was ruled by a magical cat. They left seeking to get out of the nip trade." "Okay," said Harmony with some suspicion. "Now unicorns as anyone could tell you came from a land who was named after its ruler. His name was Scot." "Scot? What kind of name is that?" "Now he was a ram of great importance and was able to control his lands with something called whiskey and the love of a good scrum." " ... What?" "It wasn't until his wife, Bonnie chucked a caber at him, missed, and hit the lock on the paddock that held all the unicorns captive that they were able to flee to freedom and Equestria." Harmony didn't answer. It was afraid to answer. There was no way that any part of that tale was true. No place called Scotland could possibly exist. Yet, with a wave of one its branches the tree beckoned for Tom to continue. "Now the pegasus race actually ruled themselves though it was a tyrannical rule. They came from the Ponies Republic of Saucer and ..." "Okay that's enough." "What? I didn't even get to the part where they arrive in their flying ships and their leader crashes into a volcano," replied Tom insistently. "Look, I may be a tree but I don't need this much fertilizer in my life." "Well I'll tell you one thing you might want to believe," said Tom as he settled back on Harmony, "If you look straight to the west there you'll notice the skyline is much lighter than before." Harmony focused in that direction. Tom was right it was much brighter, "Is that..." "Baltimare. It's the city of the fish and VD." "We're almost ...," the tree began excitedly before turning a questioning gaze to Tom, "VD?" "Ventriloquist dummies. Scourge of your kind and play rooms everywhere. Let's get paddling but if you could try not to hit the docks." "Why not the docks?" "We'd only end up under them and the last thing I need is a case of lobsters," said Tom with a shudder. The night was dark, as it often was when several passing clouds crossed in front of the moon and dimmed its light. Fortunately for the pair they'd managed to make landfall just past the docks on a small beach. Tom slowly rolled up the sand as Harmony followed, its roots twisting along and propelling it much like the tentacles of an octopus might across the sand. For a time neither said anything to the other as they made their way to the train depot that waited by the dock. Tom considered the freight cars quietly. They were the easiest way to travel but presented a series of problems. The most obvious being how was to get in. The boulder figured that maybe the tree could lift it up and in but, even then the ponies would likely attempt to chuck them off as soon as they were discovered. The second issue was that neither of them knew just where any of these cars were going. As Tom considered those points it turned its attention to Harmony and noticed that the tree was looking significantly more droopy than normal. "Hey Harmony are you okay? You look ... not so good." "Sea water is bad for trees," said Harmony, "That includes magical ones." "So what do you need to be okay," asked Tom as it scanned the depot. "Fresh water would be good. Some sort of nutrient rich earth might be nice too," said Harmony, "This ground is too ... it's seen better days." Without a word Tom slowly began to roll through the train yard and scanned it for anything useful. The tree followed it as they made their way between train cars and various shipping containers. It wasn't until they neared one of the large warehouses close to the ocean near a partially filled train car that they stopped. "Here we are," said Tom. Harmony noticed the small t shaped piece of metal that jutted out of the ground about two hundred yards away. A shudder ran up the tree's trunk as it noticed Tom roll back just a bit. Harmony quickly shifted its attention back to its travelling companion, "No Tom! I know it's metal. There's a lot of it here but please let's not ..." Tom launched itself forward as hard as it could toward the small metal t at a speed that Harmony didn't think the boulder was capable of achieving. As quickly as it could the tree set after its travelling companion and demanded it roll back to it that instant. Tom, however would not be denied. Tom struck the small metal t with a loud crack and sent it careening into the wall of the warehouse and left a hole in the wall. No sooner had the small t been dislodged when a loud rumble shook the ground beneath them. Tom quickly pulled back and before Harmony could ask a geyser of water shot out from the spot where the small t once stood. The water fell and splattered along the dirt and gravel of the train yard as Harmony positioned itself under the spray. Quickly the tree's roots snaked about and began sucking up as much water as it could. "How did you know that would happen," asked Harmony as it drank. "I've rolled around enough to know what those little metal things hold in 'em," said Tom as it rolled back further with satisfaction, "You're welcome by the way." "Thank you Tom," said Harmony as its roots sucked up the pooling water. "I do have to wonder how long it's going to take before someone notices what's going on. Anything like this is sure to draw attention." Tom scoffed at the notion that anybody would notice by the time the left. In truth however, the rhythmic tapping of the water on the ground had garnered attention from the darkest corners of the ocean side train yard. From those shadows the most daring members of the pincer packing population scuttled their way to the rhythmic sounds of the falling water. The clicking of their chitinous across the ground slowly roused caught the boulder's attention. Tom silently rolled a few more feet away from its companion to see what the clicking was. The clouds parted and to his horror he saw them. Crabs. Dozens of them all headed directly for him. The rock froze in place as they neared. It wanted to shout, call out a warning but it couldn't. Suddenly a light sprung from the other side of the train cars. "What in the name of Tartarus ..." began the loud gruff voice as it hurried toward the car. His pace only stopped when a small dim glow from the other side of the train car was followed by the appearance of a familiar purple alicorn who strode quietly from around the car, a large yet pleasant smile plastered on her face. The flashlight wielding pony gasped as his jaw dropped at the sight of the particularly shiny princess standing in front of him. "Oh hello," she said sweetly to the security guard, "I didn't know you were here." "Princess Twilight Sparkle," he asked as he took a half step back. The figure nodded to him which prompted him to ask, "What in all of Tartarus are you doing near what looks like a busted fire hydrant at night in a Baltimare shipping depot?" The shiny Twilight continued to smile vacantly then blinked once before answering, "I'm here ... to help a friend ... with a very important friendship problem." "At the depot?" "Yes," replied Twilight, "After all acts of friendship can happen anywhere at any time. Sometimes the kindness that can be extended between two ponies..." "Oh jeez," bellowed Tom as its voice trembled in fear, "I've got crabs all over me and they're on you too!" From behind the train car several loud smacks echoed through the night. The shiny Twilight continued to stare vacantly at the guard. "W-who's that," stammered the flashlight pony. "My friend," replied Twilight as various crunching and squishing sounds came from the other side of the train car, "Apparently we have crabs." The flashlight pony's eyes widened and the color left his face. His eyes darted about quickly before focusing on a point just beyond the purple alicorn. "Well my brother was in the navy and he told me ... look ... just ... hit them with some medicated shampoo and you should be fine." "Why thank you," said Twilight as she approached the flashlight pony, "You're a good friend! Would you like a hug?" "No no," said the pony as he took a few more steps back, "You have more than enough to deal with!" "Well thank you regardless," said Twilight. "Of course. Anything I can do ... well almost." "Actually ... there is something." It took very little to convince the security guard to have the tree load the boulder and it on to the nearest available train. It was common knowledge that when a vacant eyed princess asked something of you it was done. Not only that, you did it without question at double time. No sooner had they been loaded on to the train that it blew its whistle and was on its way. The train pulled coil cars, flat cars, refrigerated cars and various boxcars. In the boxcar closest to the caboose Harmony and Tom sat quietly among various parcels until they were certain that they wouldn't be disturbed. After a long period of silence Tom piped up. "No direct line to Ponyville," he muttered. "Well what do you expect," asked Harmony, "It's not the biggest city out there. However, I figure after one or two switches we'll be on our way." "Beautiful," said Tom quietly, "We don't even know where we're going right now." "Well, at least we're away from the ocean and those cr..." "Don't even say that word," said Tom with a shudder. "You know I never had seafood before," said Harmony, "It was really quite good. I may have to try it again when we get back." "Well, I'm glad you're so content," said Tom as he rolled toward the door where he sat. "You know... I don't recall a thank you for skewering those ... c - words off of you. I mean ... it was rather nice of me." Tom shifted where he sat and muttered something quietly. In response Harmony raised one of its lower branches to this side of its upper trunk and tilted its top in the rock's direction. "I said thank you," replied Tom with a grumble. "You're welcome. Good manners will get you everywhere." The pair fell back into silence as the train car rocked back and forth along the track. The seconds became hours and slowly, through the cracks in the side of the car the dim light of morning began to creep in. Tom, in its desire to get a lay of the land, bumped the door to the car a couple of times before turning toward Harmony, "I need to get a look and see just where we are." "What's the magic word?" Tom growled. It couldn't believe how difficult the tree was being. Silently he vowed never to go with Harmony to any beach, river or lake as long as it rolled. Finally, in a sweet yet sarcastic tone he answered, "Well, dear friend if you don't mind could you please open this door so that I might look out and get a sense of where we're headed? I mean at least that way we could get an idea as to just how far we have to go." Harmony extended a branch to the door, "Why not at all friend. Glad to be of help." With a tug the door yanked open exposing the car to the early morning sun. If Tom could have winced it would have. Harmony slowly slid over to the rock and gazed out of the car with it. The warm morning air rushed over the pair as they scanned the side of the rail for any indication as to just where they were headed. Yet, scan though they did as the pastoral landscape rolled by nothing presented itself. Tom rocked away from the door, tilted upward and shouted, "You know it would be nice to have some sign as to exactly where it was we were headed!" A moment later Harmony tapped the rock with one of its branches. "How about that one," asked the tree as it pointed to a sign that officially read 'Fillydelphia Railroad - No Sleeping on Track.' Underneath that official pronouncement someone had painted the words 'by the way you're welcome,' under it. "Ask and ye shall receive I guess," muttered Tom. "It seems so." "Well, it sure took us long enough to get to this point," said Harmony as the tree slid back into the train car. "You know what this means don't you? It's time for a song." "On the down beat," answered Harmony. We're riding the rail to Fillydelphia At least that's the end of the line (unless you count Ponyville) This trek has been hard, this we'll say for sure I'd bet you even money we'll meet Maud and Tree Hugger (of course) Riding the rail to Fillydelphia We hope that we make real good time They say this is the town known for sisterly love Of course all you ever hear are the boos from above (Santa never had a shot) We certainly do get around Like a stud in early springtime we're Filly bound. We're riding the rail to Fillydelphia This train rattles more than a snake (hiss) If we're diverted we'll just head into the Dragonlands That certainly would put the kibosh on any of our plans. Riding the rail to Fillydelphia Things should turn out just swell. If any evil tries to stop us we know we'll be just fine. After all we've made all the way to season nine! We certainly do get around Just like Lombardi's trophy we're Filly bound or a group of colonists looking to declare independence from a distant king we're Filly bound!