They had lost the cop car when OC had insisted on not letting his wife drive in the state she was in. He couldn’t follow them anymore like Velvet had been but he vaguely knew the location the two had mentioned. Arriving shortly after the two officers who as they pulled up right beside them quietly yelled “Don’t park right there they’ll see you. Leave. Now!” Velvet had stepped out of the car joined them, despite their reservations, hiding behind a parked car.
The two had a laptop and one of those long distance listening microphones she’d bought Shining Armour as a child. Though this one was likely a much higher grade. The two tried to shoo her off but but couldn’t, eventually just going with keeping her quiet and out of sight.
“They confirmed your daughter was the girl they saw. Backup is on the way and I’m trying to figure out if we need a warrant or have probable cause. N-no, get down!” Spitfire quietly yelled as Cadence and Shining came running over. OC still off finding a parking spot. “Take your mother and get out of here!” she tried commanding only to be met with a wave of panicked questions from all of them.
“Fartfire, it’s running.” Soarin’, with an apostrophe at the end instead of a ‘g’ said, sounding oddly familiar and using her nickname she preferred be keep secret. The two of them and also the three of them all looked at the screen. She could see them looking at the blue screen with red blobs on it and not knowing exactly what it was.
“Thermal imaging. That one there walking around is probably the perp. That one they’re walking over to on the couch that’s probably your girl. And that big red spot there is probably a fireplace that the perp is now throwing your girl into.”
“ARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!” came from both inside and outside the house.
“And that’s probably cause.” Spitfire and Soarin’, with an apostrophe at the end instead of a ‘g’ rushed the building, guns drawn and kicked down the front door “Scum freezebag! I… I mean ‘freeze scumbag’. You can't write stuff like that. See, that's why sitcoms are dying.”
*gun shots*
Shining ran into the building. He was in the army, he wasn’t afraid of getting shot. He should be, but he wasn’t. Once he actually got shot next week he would be but not yet. Inside the building he saw on the ground Spitfire, who was reaching for another lot of firecrackers as the ones Twilight was holding started going off. Cadence and Velvet followed a few seconds after doing the absolute worst thing they could’ve done if this was a real firefight.
Velvet just ignored what she was seeing and ran past everyone, grabbing and hugging Twilight far too hard. “Mom… can’t… brea-” and at those words everything else she was seeing clicked in her head. “This… all… was fake?!” said yelled, crying hysterically.
Twilight whispered “Don't worry, I won’t tell them you where in on it. But you can drop the act a little.” she then said much louder to Cadence and her brother. “Gotcha! You bought it! Even after you figured it you still bought it!”
Shining, having certainly fallen for what her sister had planned, just stood there, a multitude of emotions running through his mind only managed to say “Is that… the girl who kidnapped Chrysalis?”
“Oh, yeah. I went to Chrysalis first for help but her aunt Matriarchrysalis said she’s off ‘whoring around ewe-rope’. Then I figured Chrysalis and Fluffle Puff where friends after their kidnapping so why not ask her for help.” Twilight answered, turning to Fluffle Puff who just blew a raspberry *pfft*
Shining, feeling a spectrum of emotions and having definitely fallen for the prank his sister had set for him looked to the cops holding firecrackers, the finger in the box that was still in his pocket and the wedding ring on Cadence’s hand. He only managed one word. “How…?”
Twilight smirked like th smug anime girl she was “Well…”
*oceans 11 music starts playing*
I told Mo-... no one.
“We know mom knew.”
Oh, well I told mom that I was going to fake my kidnapping. Then I went to Chrysalis and didn't find her like I said. Then I saw Fluffle Puff putting a heart shaped letter into her mailbox [which she was having trouble with because the mailbox was already completely full with heart shaped letters she’d been putting in there every day since Chrysy left] and then when you got home for the week I came here to her place and sent the letter. Then I played the waiting game.
The waiting game sucks, let’s play hungry hungry hippos!
And that’s it.
*music stops*
“That’s it?” all three asked.
“Yeah. Worked like a charm. Oh and that was a really nice touch getting the fake cops Fluffle Puff.” the girl said turning to the other girl. *pfft*
“Wait… SHE got fake cops. Does that mean that she also sent the second note? And the finger?!”
Fluffle Puff moved toward the middle of the group and prepared to explain.
*oceans 11 music starts playing except this time the rapid bongos are replaced by pfffffffffffft sounds*
But for the sake of voicing, just pretend Twilight is still talking.
So I took Chrysalis strategy from the lats prank and was willing to wait days in that bin outside the library. When you came on the first day I was disappointed I didn’t get to stay longer. It was quite comfortable in that big, snuggled in all those plastic bags. But then when you tried to reverse the prank,I knew I would have to come up with a new plan. Which by the way, I heard everything you said from right beside you in there and so I knew it was real. Which meant Cadence was guaranteed to tell her mother, Celestia.
All I had to do was contact Celestia and tell her about the plan. Because as we all know, Celestia is a huge troll. Originally all she was meant to do was to convince you to take it seriously but she took it a step further and called in a favour with Luna who called in a favour with Soarin’, with an apostrophe at the end instead of a ‘g’ to get himself and Spitfire, the Cantalot Highschool’s on-grounds police officers to assist. She would call them instead of the real emergency services line.
Spitfire would take the report and Soarin’, with an apostrophe at the end instead of a ‘g’ would go back to the car and on their radio’s closed circuit he would respond with the location
“When Spitfire muttered about Velvet being a bad mother I was worried you’d recognise his voice on the radio later. That’s why he never said a word in front of you.”
When we saw the car come past we knew it was time to start the show.
“And that’s when you through whatever it was into the fireplace?”
No, that was footage from the Simpsons. The episode where Moe becomes a father figure to Maggie. Maggie goes missing, they think it’s him who took her and they thermal image his house and he him put her in the over but it turns out to be a roast. Seriously, if you didn't figure it out there… you need to watch more classical TV. No, the show was just the firecracker.
*Pfffft’ing stops*
Cadence, Shining, Velvet, Twilight Spitfire and Soarin’, with an apostrophe at the end instead of a ‘g’ all stood stunned as Fluffle Puff finished her story. Spitfire spoke first. “Diiiiid anyone understand anything she just saids?”
“Not a bit…” answered Velvet. “But I have the odd urge to say season 14 of simpsons isn’t classic simpsons. Still Good though.”
“I’m here… what did I miss?” OC said, panting as he’d just run half a block from the only free parking space he could find.
*pfffting music*
Also OC was in on it
*pffting ends*
“I am going to kill my mother.” Cadence muttered aloud.
“How did you not recognise Spitfire and Soarin’, with an apostrophe at the end instead of a ‘g’?” Shining asked of his fiance.
“What? I didn’t go to Crystal Prep, not Cantalot High, remember? Mom said it was a conflict of interest being a student where she’s the principal.” Candyass answered. Then paused a moment before adding. “I’m going to kill Lulu too!”
“Wait… what about the finger?” Velvet grabbing Twilight be the hands and raising them to look at the perfectly intact digits. At that, Shining pulled the ring case out of his pocket. “How’d you get such a real looking finger?” she took it from him and opened the case in front of her daughter, picked it up and looked at it closely.
“Finger?” Twilight questioned, turning to Fluffle Puff. Then looking down at her recently and slightly reddened bandaged hand. She raised it in response as if to show off.
Velvet dropped the finger. “Oh my god!...” and backed away.
Twilight, appearing surprised by it, as is she didn’t even know, which she didn’t since technically no one understood Fluffle Puff [except Celestia apparently but i guess she’s used to dealing with ‘special’ children] and she was the real mastermind behind this prank, all she asked was. “You cut off your finger?” with a strong tone of confusion in her voice.
Fluffle Puff’s happy expression broke and as if it all came crashing down on her at once as she realised she should be in excruciating pain, let out a blood curdling scream.
Later
"If you ever do something like this again I will divorce myself from this entire family!” Cadence yelled at her parent(s). “And Twilight, Shining Armour... “ she used his full name which is universal for you’re in trouble. “If either of you pull a prank again we are finished!”
“Twili pulled the prank… why am I getting in trouble?!”
“EITHER!!! Of you…” Cadence screamed. “And I expect the same if I do.”
“I mean I only ever pranked you when you were planning to prank me…” Shining muttered to himself.
“Look at that, their first fight… in public.” Velvet cued and leant into her husband.
“Haha…” OC followed. “I’m going to be honest, these kids are pulling way more complex pranks than the one you pulled on me before we got married. Of course, we just called them practical jokes back then. You know, in 2000. But I suppose it did blow up in our faces almost just as much.”
“Hey, yeah…” Shining remembered. “How did you propose?”
“Uhhh… given what happened today, that’s a story for another year.”
“What? You even [passive aggressively] asked me to ask you. What a tease…”
Coming Next April Fools…
The Best Laid Out Plans 0: An April Fools Prequel… maybe!
1 week later
“Oh my go-argh!!” Shining groaned as he jumped out of bed only to hit the bunk above his in the barracks. “Did I ever tell Twili I proposed to Cadence? Oh well, I’ll just tell her next time I visit.”
And that’s when Twilight went away to college and their breaks never synced up again until 3 days before the wedding.