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// The Mare in the Window 
// Story: Pleasuring Techniques and Other Weird-Ass Stories 
// by Regidar 
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Regidar yawned and walked over to his bed, which was situated right underneath a large window so the sun shone in his eyes every morning as a very annoying alarm clock to save his mother the trouble of throwing things at him.

"Well, time to get to sleep!" Regidar fell on the bed, not bothering with a blanket as it was a warm night. His legs were wide open as he started to drift off to sleep.

A small thud resonated from outside, and a tiny scraping noise could be heard if one listened closely and was not asleep. A silhouette of a figure appeared in the window, and soon an odd slopping noise was clearly audible.

Regidar opened his eyes slowly, awakened from the sound. "Hello?"

"Ah, sh-"

"Twilight?"

The purple mare froze. "Uh, yeah, you caught me. Um, how's it going?"

"What are you doing outside my window at eleven o'clock at night?"

"Um, I was... painting the side of your house!"

Regidar gave the unicorn a look. "Really now."

"Um, yep! I'm almost done... just open your legs a bit more..."

"You were clopping, weren't you?"

Twilight started to sweat. "As a matter of fact, I was NOT clo- YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" Twilight thrust herself off the ladder into the bushes then sprinted away.

Regidar sighed, and closed his curtains. "I really need to move to a different town."