There was a warmth to the breeze that night, the sort of warmth that felt like a cozy hug and beset long lasting memories of summer sweetness. It always seemed warm up on the hill, even under the chilly gaze of the overbearing moon. A bright moon with bright stars that seemed to shine specifically down onto Horlick's Hill where Scootaloo parked her scooter.
Another Friday night, another two am rendezvous. Diamond was there before her this time, sitting up under the tree, gazing at the display of jewels overhead. She had missed last weeks get together, which Scootaloo had chalked up to a mission from Luna. Seeing her tonight, though, pulled a quiet smile to her lips, and she trotted over where she took a seat beside the other filly.
"Heya, D. How's it goin!" Scootaloo asked. Diamond didn't reply. Scootaloo frowned and peered over at her companion. Now that she was closer, Diamond didn't look so good. She had heavy bags under her eyes and was slowly swaying from side to side where she sat. Her mane was frizzled and frazzled, sticking out oddly, unlike the spiky mohawk she usually wore it in. She smiled quietly in return but kept her glossy gaze pointed at the sky.
"H-hey...hey there...uh.....uh.....um....uh..." she trailed off, waggling a hoof as she looked for the word dangling on the tip of her tongue. Scootaloo felt her frown thicken as Diamond searched for her name. This was abnormal, even by Diamond's standards.
"...Scootaloo," she said quietly. Diamond immediately smiled and nodded her head.
"Yeah! Right. Yeah! Scootaloo. That's her! She's my buddy. We hang out n' stuff, I'm jus waitin' here for her to show up so we can....can uh....do...the...um....stars. Right. Right! We look at stars. It's kinda our thing," Diamond explained, still swaying where she sat, still smiling aimlessly. Scootaloo felt her eyebrow raise. It had been doing that a lot lately, and almost felt like a habit now. Slowly, she reached a hoof out and waved it in front of Diamond's face. The filly's expression did not change.
"Uh, Diamond? I'm right here," Scootaloo said quietly. Slowly, Diamond let her gaze drift down from the stars towards the orange pegasus. Her face lit up brightly.
"Hiya Scoots! Where ya been? I've been here since...since uh......what is...where are...say, what time is it?"
"It's two in the morning,"
"Right, right. Yeah, hey, how ya doin? I was just chillin' up here, on, the ...the uh...the um...the hill...this hill...doin' the star thing, heh," Diamond chuckled softly. She squeezed her eyes shut, yawned, and then shook her head briskly. Worriedly, Scootaloo nodded her head, but didn't let her gaze pull from Diamond.
"I'm fine. How are you? Cause I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say maybe not 'good'?"
"Wha? Me? Psssht, naw, naw. Naaaaw. I'm good. Super good. Super duper. I'm great! Just, the best! The very bestest. Yup! One hundred percent! Nothin's wrong, and, I'm just...I'm..the uh...the...the um......huh. Wait, wait, what was I talkin' about again?" Diamond asked quietly. Scootaloo's other eye brow began to raise, since one clearly wasn't enough.
"I have both questions and concerns," she said quietly. Diamond yawned again, and waggled a dismissive hoof.
"What? Ha. No. No. I already had breakfast tonight. Bardigan packed me a lunch. I told him I didn't need no lunch, but he insisted, cause he's all like "You need to remember to eat tonight, Lil' Gem." and I'm like "Pssst, I'm a warrior of the night! I don't need no stinkin' badge!" Diamond explained. Scootaloo stared. She stared hard.
"Alrighty then. Sooooooo question one, have you been to sleep lately?" Scootaloo asked. Diamond's expression didn't change. She stared into the distance for a few moments before finally nodding her head.
"Hahaha. Nope! Not in a while, why?"
"...No reason. Aren't you tired? I mean, I know Servants of Shadow can stay up real late but...you look...kinda rough," Scootaloo whimpered. Diamond immediately shook her head. Hard enough to make her ears flap from side to side.
"No, no, I'm...I'm uhm...I'm good. I'm just...I'm ducky. So, hey, stars right? You think we're gonna see any? I hope so. It'd be great, doncha think?" Diamond squeaked. Scootaloo bit at her lower lip. Diamond was lying. She was positive of it.
"Uh...Maybe...you wanna lie down for a-"Scootaloo began, but Diamond cut her off.
"NO!!! I- I mean, I'm...Ha, I'm good. I'm good. Just fine. Don't need no sleep, I'm a Servant of...of the thing...and we don't go to sleep ..."Diamond said, her voice trailing off. Scootaloo couldn't help but to detect something else underneath her voice, something that screamed of misery. She drew in a quiet breath and steeled herself.
"Hey, D...How long have you been up? Like, real talk?" She asked quietly. Diamond was staring into space again, her glossy gaze pointed at the sky. At first, when she didn't respond, Scootaloo thought she'd need to ask the question again, since it seemed like Diamond's concentration had become non-existent, and it was then that the silver filly let out a lengthy sigh, and Scootaloo knew something was wrong.
"Since last week," Diamond murmured sullenly. Scootaloo furrowed her brow. That couldn't possibly have been healthy. The crystal filly yawned again and swayed where she sat, before she reached up and rubbed at her eyes.
"Why haven't you been to sleep, Diamond? That's not really, err, that's not too good for you, is it? Is this a Servants thing? Like a test of some kind?" She cooed quietly. Diamond shook her head.
"Naw. I just...I don't...have a...I wanted...to um...You know that mission we did? Like, a week ago, or sumthin? There was a...a uh...we um...we uh....I can't remember what it was that we did..." Diamond whimpered. Scootaloo nodded her head.
"You said you had to check in on some filly named Starlight. We almost got caught, and we ran away," Scootaloo offered. Diamond nodded her head.
"Right, ri-ri-right. Yeah, so...I...I was pretty sure that it was her mom that caught us, and uh..I um... I realized I haven't had a dream about mine in a while. So, Princess Luna, usually....usually um...she uh...she um...um..." Diamond sputtered, waving a hoof in front of her mouth, as if attempting to draw the sentence out into the air. After a few moments, her face took on a bewildered look and she gazed into space. Scootaloo leaned over and waved a hoof in front of Diamond's nose. This time, the filly jumped back with a gasp.
"Right, right. Sorry, she um...Where was I?" she asked softly. Scootaloo sighed.
"Princess Luna...?"
"Right! Right. So, um, Princess Luna usually voids my dreams for me. I don't dream, cause usually...they're not 'good'. I wake up screaming. Doctors, and...falling...I forget where I am, and it's always nightmares...The worst one is my mom. She's galloping somewhere, and I'm behind her, and I call out to her and she can't...she doesn't stop. I keep calling out to her, and I beg her not to leave me behind, but she doesn't hear me. And no matter how fast I run, she's always faster, I can't catch her, and it hurts so much, but it's the only time I ever get to see her, so, I, I asked um...I asked Princess ...um Princess... whats-her-face...er...t-the Princess to let me dream again...I wanted to see her, Scoots. Just a glimpse, ya know. Just...I mean... It's the only way I know how to see her. I didn't wanna feel...alone. I ain't got no kin here, see? I ain't, I ain't gots no kin anywhere. I'm the only crystal pony in town, and, and I can't gleam like they can, so I ain't really one of them, and I can't fly, cause, pegasuseses are supposed to do that, and I can't, and, I look like this...And sometimes it feels like...Like she might be the only one who could explain where I'm supposed to fit in, cause I ain't haven't much luck findin' it on my own, " Diamond sputtered, reaching up to rub her eyes again. Sadly, Scootaloo nodded her head and reached out to rest a hoof on the girl's shoulder.
"But, it's not, I mean it doesn't always work. Trying to dream about her, I mean. I've been, I just, I wake up after I just fall asleep, and it's just nightmares. Every time I close my eyes. Usually, they're worth it just to see her, but I haven't had any about her lately. So I...I just...I just um...I haven't...I haven't been sleepin' so good, ya know? And um, Luna said she'd void my dreams again if I asked her, but... I can't until I see her. It's the only way to make all of this worth it, and I...I keep telling myself it's worth it, but every time I fall asleep it's just another nightmare. So, I've been stayin' awake instead. I gotta recover a bit, see? I ain't handlin' these nightmares so good, not one after another after another, and I can't tell Princess Luna that this is happenin' cause she might not let me have dreams anymore, so, I'm...I'm...I'm uh...I don't...w-what was I saying again?" she squeaked, reaching up once more to rub her eyes. Scootaloo just nodded her head quietly.
"Voiding dreams. Why don't you ask Luna to make you dream about her?" she said. Diamond shook her head and reached up to slap herself in the face.
"N-no. I can't. That's, uh, n-not natural. I mean, I know what she looks like, I think, I mean, only the back of her head, you know, but it's still something, and anything Luna sculpted in a dream would be her interpretation of what my mother looks like, not...not the real thing my brain only kinda remembers," Diamond said, trembling where she sat. She reached up again and slapped herself in the face. Scootaloo winced. She wasn't quite sure what the point of something like that was when you couldn't feel pain, but she didn't try to stop her. Instead, she leaned back against the hillside and gazed at the stars.
"Well, how 'bout, I come over tomorrow morning, and you try for sleep tonight. If it doesn't work, we can hang out. I mean, if you're not sleeping anyway. I can show you around Ponyville and distract you from the aftermath if you do have another nightmare! How's that?" she asked. Diamond flashed an exhausted, wobbly smile and nodded her head.
"Yeah. Yeah that sounds, that sounds like a good idea. We could totally go....to....the um...the um...that thing...we were gonna do...right, you know any good coffee shops in town? I could use some coffee. I've always wanted to try it, I think, but Bardigan says I shouldn't have any. I heard it's good for keeping you awake though. See, I ain't so good at the whole, sleep on command, stay awake on command thing the other Servants do. They can stay awake for weeks on end n' stuff, see? I ain't so good at the whole, sleep on command, stay awake on command thing that the other Servants do. They can stay awake for weeks on end, 'n stuff, see?" Diamond explained. Scootaloo winced again. She was getting worse...
"You said that twice," she said hesitantly. Diamond tilted her head curiously.
"Said what twice? I don't remember what we...we were...um...um......uhhh...."Diamond stammered before staring off into space again. Scootaloo reached over and waved a hoof in front of her face. Diamond blinked twice and sat upright, snapping out of her daze.
"Oh, hey Scootaloo! Good to see you! Ho-How you doin? I was....I was....was I looking at stars? I don't remember. I think...um..question. I don't...I don't remember how I got here, where are we? " Diamond stammered. Scootaloo reached a hoof out and pulled Diamond in close to lean against her.
"Horlick's Hill. It's about three in the morning, and you just said you were going to go home and try to get some sleep," Scootaloo explained. Diamond meekly nodded her head.
"D-did I? That doesn't sound like somethin' I'd say. I'm...I'm a Servant of Shadow...I don't...I don't need to sleep. I don't need anything. I'm good. I'm good...I can't...I can't see, cause-"Diamond began, but Scootaloo cut her off, squeezing her foreleg around the other girl gently.
"Nightmares. I know. We just spent the last twenty minutes talking about them and how lonely you feel," she explained quietly. Diamond blinked her eyes in confusion, tilting her head at the orange pegasus next to her.
Did we? I guess that makes sense. I think. I've been losing an alarming amount of time lately, so...y-yeah. I guess I'm about due for another attempt at sleep. I don't really feel so good. Like, worse than normal. H-hey Scoots, you think I could get a ride? To...to um....to...where was I goin again?"
"We're goin' home, D. Don't worry, I've got you, just lean on me, okay?" Scootaloo said, eyeing her scooter at the bottom of the hill. Diamond smiled softly, the two of them slowly starting to hobble down the slope.
"You're kind of an awesome friend, you know that, Scoots?" Diamond sputtered, her voice slurred. Scootaloo could only assume she was coming up to the end of her resistance to sleep, if there was such a thing.
"Only cause you give me the chance to be one," She smiled, tugging Diamond along towards her scooter.