//------------------------------// // "Ooh, tub crowd!" // Story: A Feast Fit For Heroes // by Liquid Savage //------------------------------// Tempest Shadow groaned, rubbing her head. She felt groggy, her head softly buzzing. Had somepony hit her over the head? It certainly wouldn’t have been the first time; training with the Storm King had been Tartarus. Though this time it lacked the sharp ache in the back of her skull. She hadn’t been drinking, because there was no dull buzz all over her skull. So what had happened…? She lifted her head. She was sitting at a table, a circular light surrounding it with darkness. A few other figures were sat with her that took her by surprise. One was a slender pegasus with frilly ears and a beak instead of a snout. Beside her, and across from Tempest, was a cat sitting upright and wearing a tattered red coat. Next to Tempest was a large bird-like creature, wearing a fancy tricorn hat. All three of them seemed like they were waking up from a nap as well. Tempest blinked as her focus slowly returned. She recognised these creatures. They were there when Princess Twilight took back Canterlot from the Storm King. She bit her lip. Did they know she was a good guy now? “How the heck…?” the bird muttered, rubbing her head. “How’d I get here? And what’re you all doing here?” “I was thinking the exact same thing,” the cat said, his slitted pupils focusing. “Oh, is this a surprise party?” the beaked pony spoke up. “Ooh, I know you guys! You’re the airship pirate, you’re cat who shoved us in that giant cake, and you’re the pony who helped the Storm King take over our lands and enslaved a lot of our people but you turned good!” Tempest lowered her eyelids. Clearly that was still a sore subject. “Um, yeah. I’m not evil anymore, by the by.” The bird narrowed her eyes, glaring at her. “How do we know you’re not in on this?” Tempest returned the glare, her broken horn fizzling with free magic. “If I were in on this, why would I be sitting here just as unconscious as the rest of you when the last thing I remember is being in a motel outside Chicacolt?” The bird opened her beak to argue, then faltered. “I guess that makes sense.” “Plus she’s all chummy with Princess Twilight,” the cat added, “who’s all chummy with us. I think she’s an unfortunate victim too.” “That also makes sense.” Tempest looked at the cat, surprised at how he came to her defence. It made her feel even worse that she couldn’t remember any of these creatures’ names. “Ah, finally awake?” said a voice. It was male, and seemed to come from all around her. “Honestly, it’s bad enough having one guest fall asleep, but all four? If I weren’t me, I’d start feeling self-conscious!” Tempest’s head shot up, ears perked as she looked all around her. “Who’s there? Show yourself!” “Falling asleep at the table and making demands?” the voice went on, amusement in its tone. “Well, alright then. Since I’m still in a good mood.” A tall, noodle-like figure stepped out of the darkness and took a seat at the head of the table. He had a goat’s head with a buck fang, an eagle’s claw as one arm and a lion’s paw on the other. Tempest had definitely never seen him before; she would have remembered such an odd creature. “Oh please, ‘odd’ is such a standoffish term,” the creature said. “I prefer ‘unique’ or ‘outstanding’.” Tempest’s ears lowered. “How did you-” “Know what you were going to say, and the exact words you were thinking?” he said from behind her, causing her to jump and turn around in her seat, coming eye-to-eye with him. “Wild guess?” The beaked pegasus giggled. “I like this guy.” “Well thank you,” he said, puffing out his thin chest back at the head of the table, “I like you too. I like you all, actually. Nocreature likes when the host plays favourites, after all. Oh, where are my manners! My name is Discord, God of Chaos, Spirit of Disharmony, and master of ceremonies this fine eve.” Discord. The name rang a bell in Tempest’s head. She’d read about him in school; a draconequus, presumably the only one of his kind, capable of magic even stronger than the Princesses themselves. He even ruled Equestria for a time! “But I thought he was imprisoned centuries ago?” she asked. “Oh, somepony’s done her homework,” Discord said from behind the unicorn, slapping a university cap on her head. “Yes, unfortunately I was. But just a few years back I was released! And then imprisoned again. And then released again. And then reformed. Now I’m a good guy, like the rest of you!” The cat raised an eyebrow. “The Spirit of Chaos is a ‘good guy’?” Discord’s paw went sideward and tilted. “Well, good-ish, admittedly. I’m not trying to destroy or take over anymore, but I still love a bit of fun!” Tempest cringed. She didn’t want to think of what a god of chaos’s idea of fun was, but she couldn’t help but wonder either. “I’m so glad you asked,” Discord said, and snapped his claws. A clipboard appeared in his paw, pencil behind his ear. He took the pencil, dabbed the tip on his tongue. Why anycreature did that, he didn’t know, he just thought it was important. “Or, well, thought of asking. But first, there’s the guest list to sort through. Formalities and everything.” Tempest blinked. “A spirit of chaos is worried about formalities?” “The last party I went to without consulting the guest list was nearly consumed by a living gelatinous blob of green goop with impeccable fashion sense. Don’t ask, long story.” The unicorn decided it wise to keep her mouth closed until spoken to from then on. “Now then,” Discord continued, “first, we have Captain Celaeno. Leader of a band of sky pirates who were once brought under the Storm King’s iron grip and reduced to mere souvenir hustlers, now recently reclaimed their glory and creeping around the southern skies.” The bird woman crossed her arms, nonplussed. “Yeah, you’re right.” “Next, Mr. Capper. A former aristocrat from Abyssinia, turned con cat in Klugetown after the Storm King brought his destructive campaign to his doorstep. Now his homeland is slowly but surely rebuilding and he hopes to return to his original status.” The cat man shrugged. “That last part’s debatable.” “Thirdly, Skystar. Princess of the Hippogriffs, who were forced into living underwater by the Storm King, who didn’t count on them having the peculiar ability to turn into seaponies.” “That’s me!” the beaked pony sang. “Though, can anyone tell me what the ‘shoo-be-do’ thing is that everycreature keeps going on about?” “Oh it’s not important,” Discord said with a dismissive wave of his claw. “And finally, we have-” “Tempest Shadow, yes, hi,” the unicorn butted in. “I’m here, move along.” “Ah-ah-ah,” the draconequus tutted, wiggling his finger at her, “no aliases, this isn’t a masquerade ball. As I was saying, finally we have-” “Please don’t.” “Finally, we have-” “Just say Tempest.” “Finally, we have Fizzlepop Berrytwist. Former field commander of the Storm King’s army before she revolted following his lying to her that he’d help with her...ahem, condition.” Tempest put her face to the desk and crossed her hooves over her head, groaning to herself. “And with Master of Ceremonies Discord already accounted for, that’s everycreature present! And now for the next order of business; why I’ve brought you all here.” “I’m guessing it has something to do with the Storm King?” Capper said. Skystar’s pupils dilated. “Is he back?!” “In that order, yes and no,” Discord answered. “Since you all played a big part in the Storm King’s downfall, I figured I’d personally give you all a proper congratulations that you deserve. Just a nice dinner party.” Celaeno tilted her head. “That sounds pretty tame for somecreature like you.” “I’d take offense if you weren’t so astute,” Discord admitted. “I was planning to have some more streamers, balloons and confetti, as per Pinkie Pie’s suggestion, but Fluttershy thought it best that a small guest list means a small party. Something on the downlow.” Tempest’s brow furrowed at those two names. Weren’t those friends of Twilight? Did that mean Discord was all chummy with her too? “Correct once again, Fizzy!” “Stop reading my mind. And don’t call me that.” “Well I’m closest to Fluttershy, who is my closest friend in any realm of reality,” Discord went on, ignoring her. His face suddenly snapped over to scowl at his guests, eyes glowing red. “And I’m sure you’ll all remember that fact.” Everycreature nodded quickly and silently. “Good!” Discord grinned, snapping back to his jovial tone like nothing had happened. “Now then, I’m just putting the finishing touches on the appetisers, so feel free to talk amongst yourselves. Shan’t be a moment!” With a flash of light, Discord was gone, and the four guests stared at each other, bewildered. Capper looked at Tempest and broke the silence. “What’d he say your name was?” The unicorn glowered, horn fizzling with magic. “Tempest.” “Noted.” The gathered guests continued to chat amongst themselves, when another flash of light signalled Discord’s return. He was wearing a fake curly moustache, a chef’s hat and an apron with ‘Kiss the Chaos’ on it. “Filly, parrot, hippogriff, and gentlecat,” he began, twiddling the moustache, “may I present the appetisers?” The guests looked expectant. Discord faltered. “Well? May I?” “Um, I think that’s meant to he a rhetorical thing,” Celaeno pointed out. “Ugh, rhetorics,” Discord grumbled. “Can’t live with them, can’t beat them over the head with a mallet. Anywho, appetisers ho.” He snapped his fingers, and before each guest was a bowl of some kind of green sludgy substance that Tempest was sure she saw bubbling in a swamp somewhere. The sight of chopped carrots put her at ease, but just a little. Plus, it did smell good. “Is this some kind of stew?” Capper asked. “Don’t you usually serve soup as an appetiser?” “I tried making soup,” Discord lamented, “but it didn’t agree with me. It was a long argument, you don’t want to hear about it. So I ended up making stew instead.” Tempest opened her mouth to voice her reluctance, but found herself watching Skystar pouring the stuff into her mouth. “Mmm, s’good!” chirped the hippogriff. Capper and Celaeno took test tastes for themselves, and their own expressions lit up as they ate with gusto.. “Seriously?” the unicorn looked down at her bowl, and lapped at the substance inside. Her eyes widened at the taste and texture in her mouth. “Whoa, this is good!” “You’re surprised?” he scoffed, crossing his arms. “I’ll have you know I have a lot more talents than just putting wings on pigs. Even that chef who swears a lot enjoyed my homemade lamb sauce! I had lambs make it for me, before you ask. I’m a god of disharmony but I’m not a monster.” For once, Discord was glad no one was listening - everycreature was digging into his stew. Tempest had even taken to tilting the bowl to her lips and pouring it down her throat. “If I weren’t so amazing, I’d be offended,” he chuckled, and kept watching. Tempest, meanwhile, kept chugging at the stew. She was so caught up in how delicious it was that she didn’t notice how there was more in the bowl than it should be able to hold. She kept pouring more and more in, until finally she found herself licking the bottom. She couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed as she set it down on the table and let out a small belch. Another thing she hadn’t noticed was that her slender stomach had distended and rounded out beneath her. Not even placing her hooves on it made her catch on. She wasn’t the only one either; Capper, Skystar and Celaeno were looking rather bloated and satisfied from their own appetisers. Capper was lapping his bowl too, making Tempest wonder if he left any. “Looks like everycreature enjoyed themselves,” Discord said, smirking knowingly. “Oh yeah,” Celaeno sighed, stretching out her arms. “I could go home happy now.” “Really? But we haven’t even gotten to the main course yet.” “Well, I could stay a little longer.” “Me too!” Skystar grinned and licked her beak. “I guess it’d be rude to step out so soon,” Capper agreed. “Plus, if that stuff was good I can’t wait to see what comes next.” Tempest bit her lip. At first she was eager to get out of wherever she was as soon as possible, but… “I guess I can stay too.” “Excellent!” The draconequus smirked and tapped his fingers and talons together. “It shall be out momentarily!” With a flash, Discord had vanished once more. “Anycreature else feel a little, different?” Tempest asked, deciding to bring up a nagging feeling in the back of her head. “A little, now that you mention it,” admitted Capper, “but I can’t put my claw on it.” Something tells me you already are, Tempest thought, but truthfully she wasn’t sure either. The answer felt so obvious, but her thoughts were so clouded. She couldn’t think of anything else but the food. What did Discord have coming next? Would it be as good as that stew? Would it be better? Maybe it was better. She wanted to know. She needed to know. Another flash of light, and Discord returned. With a snap of his talons, a plate with a silver dome appeared before each guest. “May I present the entree.” he declared with a bow. “Finally,” Tempest sighed, putting a hoof on the dome to throw it off. “I’ve been waiting forever!” A lion paw kept the dome in place, and she looked up at Discord. “Patience, my lady. I’ve only been gone for two minutes.” “I’ve been hungry for two minutes.” “Touché.” He raised both arms and all domes lifted up. Skystar had a helping of chicken wings, Celaeno had a small mountain of assorted birdseed, a serving of tuna for Capper - non-sentient, since Skystar had friends who were tuna, apparently - and Tempest had a fruit mince pie the size of a real pie. In the centre of the table was a large pitcher of apple cider. “I know you ponies aren’t the biggest fans of meat, so-” Discord halted when he saw Tempest had shoved her face right into the pie, loudly chomping and slurping. “Ah, I see you’re busy. I’ll get back to you.” Arms behind his back, the host sauntered around the table, the sounds of chomping, slurping and pecking filling his ears. He tried to not let his smirk grow too big, though he wasn’t trying all that hard. His guests were all busy stuffing themselves silly, overcome by the sheer urge to eat. They couldn’t stop themselves. They didn’t want to stop themselves. They didn’t even think of stopping. Just of eating. Of eating more. And of course, with the eating came the growing, as each glutton bloated and swelled with every few gulps. Tempest’s body, once slender and fit for battle, was turning into more and more of a grape with limbs with how round she was growing. Her legs thickened, a thick roll starting to sag over her knees. A thick slab of fat jiggled and bounced under her jaw as she chewed, her plump snout messy with fruit mince and crumbs. Her neck grew fatter, even starting to lose form. Even if she didn’t think about it, she was lucky she had abandoned her old soldier uniform; it would have torn off her a while ago. Similarly, Capper was lucky he didn’t button his coat, as the buttons would have popped off him. As he tucked into his own feast, purring with gluttonous delight, his slender stomach had bloated into a brown furry ball of adipose. His wrist and ankles each became covered with a thick roll of blubber, and his cheeks, front and back, ballooned outward little by little every few seconds. His coat’s sleeves started to strain with how much his arms expanded inside them. His ears didn’t even twitch at the sound of tearing seams. Skystar was becoming a similar shape to Tempest, her own svelte body ballooning with layers of flab bouncing out and around her. Her talons made it easy to grab huge globs of her meal and cram them in her face, and she took full advantage of her newfound greed. It never occurred to her that she had never acted so messily in her life, and that her mother certainly would not approve. Just that her meal was the best thing she’d ever eaten and she needed more. More. No one reacted when a quick series of pops sounded, and Skystar didn’t even blink when a set of buttons bounced off her face. Celaeno’s waistcoat had burst open, allowing a dome of feathered flab to flow free in front of her. Normally such a bird who carried herself so highly would politely peck at her seeds, but something about them made her toss that notion out the window after one taste. Now she was opening her beak wide to stuff her cheeks with as much at a time as she could fit. Despite being a successful captain of airship pirates, she hadn’t eaten this well in a long time. And she didn’t want to stop just yet. Discord bared his teeth in a dark smirk. This was going far better than he’d imagined. And as his dinner guests were wrapping up their main courses, there was only one more to go until the finale. He waited until the burps had finished and the sighs of contentment had quietened down before snapping his fingers. Another flash of light, and in front of each guest was a large chocolate fudge cake, topped with a large mound of frosting and the fudge oozing between each layer. “Dessert, anycreature?” he offered, chuckling as everyone shoved their faces into the treats. It was quite a sight when dessert was finished. Chairs had crunched and crumpled beneath mammoth mounds of living blobs, instantly reforming into large cushy beanbags. Stacks of plates and bowls stood in the centre of the table, topped with an empty pitcher. The four overfed guests belched and groaned happily, muzzles, claws, talons and hooves being licked clean. Tempest and Skystar were turned into orbs of quivering blubber, their legs pushed off the ground so that they could only wiggle helplessly in the air. Their necks had vanished in favour of rolls and folds of fat that jiggled with each move their jaws made. Tempest’s cutie marks had expanded and deformed by dimples and folds to fill up the new space her wagon-sized flanks now had. Their tails were comically tiny in comparison, flicking uselessly every now and then. Capper and Celaeno’s limbs now sported bingo wings and thunder thighs, cankles and wrist folds spilling onto their hands and feet. Like their quadrupedal companions, their chins had tripled in quantity and softness, and their cheeks gave them a squint. Neither of them could reach past their enormous globes of belly fat, nor did they feel like making the effort. Not only were they dazed from being so full, but they were still under Discord’s spell. “Now wasn’t that a fantastic meal?” Discord said with a polite clap to get his guests’ attention. “Now, as much as I can see vegetables and a lot of cardio in your foreseeable futures, let’s not worry about that just yet. For Discord, master of surprises, has yet one more up his sleeve!” As promised, he pulled the fur on his arm like a sleeve and reached in, pulling out what looked like a remote with a big red button in the middle. “Yet another surprise!” gasped another, tuxedo-wearing Discord on the other side of the table. “Is there nothing this King of Chaos (trademark) cannot do!” “Thank you, me,” said the first Discord with a bow. “Now that you have feasted your stomachs, prepare to feast your eyes!” With a flourish, he pressed the red button. Suddenly, the room was filled with light, showing the guests that they were in the middle of the Canterlot Castle main hall, surrounded by a crowd of well-dressed and concerned ponies who gasped and murmured in alarm to one another. By the wall were four statues, each in a dinner guest’s exact likeness. Enormously obese bodies and contented faces and all. The only difference was they were doubled in scale. “Oh good, this isn’t the ‘mood lighting’ remote again,” the draconequus sighed. “Thank Celestia for rehearsals.” The sheer shock of what was going on seemed to be snapping the overfed guests out of their stupors, as light returned to their eyes while Discord walked in front of the statues, sporting garb befitting one from the Bitalian Renaissance. “Behold, the final surprise!” he declared with a wave of his paw. “Just an extravagant dinner party wasn’t enough, I thought, so I had another thought; statues in commemoration of your service in saving Equestria from the evil Storm King. In your exact likeness, so the populace will know that we treat our heroes with the gratitude and rewards they deserve. And of course I just had to unveil them at the Grand Galloping Gala; such a big reward for such big heroes couldn’t be shown in a private function, yes?” The four went to argue that they hated everything about what was happening at the moment, but only belches and hiccups emerged. More murmurs from the gathered partygoers. “I’ll take that as a ‘Thank you so much Discord, we will never forget this’,” he went on, “and you four are most welcome! Now I must take my leave; these statues won’t place themselves in the royal garden! I tried, but they’re quite lazy things, as I soon learned.” Another snap, and Discord and the statues were gone, leaving the Gala guests to stare at the four blobs in the centre of the room. Tempest couldn’t be too upset about the whole ordeal; after all, getting her own statue was pretty sweet. So much that even prods and pokes from curious ponies on her belly and flanks couldn’t lower her mood.