Mustering the strength to eat something was the third challenge of Flash Sentry's day. Weathering the crowded bus ride to school earlier that morning was the second. He didn't even want to think about the first.
Instead, Flash presently focused on his shoes beneath the lunch tray held in his hands. The young man's feet stepped evenly on the tile panels forming the floor of the Canterlot School Cafeteria. It was so much easier to just abide by the lines. The mathematical framing of the moment dulled the molasses of time, and it pushed all the jeering, snickering, hissing voices further and further away.
The world was chock full of humors that Flash could no longer ingest, although once upon a time he easily could. Those streams of consciousness used to feel comfortable and snug beneath the skin, but it was all toxic to him now. And yet, all he could register in the shadow of that burnt sea was guilt, and it manifested itself the most in the mirror. He'd shut his eyes to the world as well if only it didn't conflict with existence, but that too was proving nauseous as of late.
And just like that, Flash had ruined the feeble appetite that he had spent the better part of an hour coddling. His dull eyes searched for a perpendicular arrangement of tiles that would take him to the nearest garbage receptacle. So much for this thing called “school lunch.” Time, money, sustenance—all wasted on a split whim. Just another Tuesday for Flash.
Then—like a herald from the heavens—the young man heard giggling, and it shattered the lines demarcating his lurch. There were several voices laughing, but his consciousness zeroed in on one: a sound of love, hate, confusion, and more than a modicum of regret.
Sunset Shimmer.
“No, I did not photoshop this!” her exquisite voice echoed across the cafeteria between pronounced chortles. “Honest to Celestia... er... Princess Celestia... this is the real deal! Starlight Glimmer brought these over when she last visited over the weekend!”
“Pfffft! No friggin' way!” Rainbow Dash cackled. “Those aren't hooves! Look at them! Those are... are... plastic nubs!”
“They are so hooves, Rainbow Dash,” Sunset said in a firm, haughty tone—sprinkled with a pinch of pride. “Through a wide-angled lens, they might look silly to you, but I assure you that Equestrian hooves are fully covered with soft fur and fuzzy fetlocks!”
“She ain't kiddin', though, Sunset,” Applejack said. Flash looked over to see a set of seven lady friends huddled tightly around Sunset and a photo album in her grasp. “They sure do look like some sort of plasticky material at a glance.” Applejack tilted her hat back with a smirk. “Ya reckon yer dimension ain't owned by some big named toy company or nothin'?”
“I'll have you eat those words, Applejack!” Sunset Shimmer flipped a few pages. “Ah ha! There! Sweet Apple Acres!” She smirked at the cowgirl companion leaning over her. “Let me introduce you to your family, Applejack!”
Applejack squinted through her freckles. It took her a few seconds to register the nature of the collage stretched beneath her gaze. At last, her jaw dropped. “Heavens to Betsy...! That's Big Mac! And lil' Apple Bloom and... and...” She gasped, pointing a quivering finger. “Granny Smith! Look at her! She's so... so...”
“Horsey?!” Pinkie Pie squeaked.
“Little!” Applejack wheezed.
“And there's Winona...” Fluttershy pointed over Applejack's shoulder, smiling delicately. “She looks just the same as she does in our world! Only—”
“She's huuuuuge!” Rainbow Dash exhaled, then turned to gape at Sunset. “For crying out loud, Sunny! Just how tiny are the horses in your world?!”
Sunset's cheeks flushed slightly. “Now I never exactly said that we were all football players...”
“Judging from the size ratio between the Apple Family and Winona...” Twilight Sparkle leaned in, adjusting her glasses. “I would venture to say that an average mare stands as tall as...” A spectacled blink. “Zero point seven meters! Stallions—perhaps zero point nine, although I would have to see more pictures of stallions to produce a better guestimate. But still—!” She turned to smile at Sunset. “Rainbow's right! You really are from a land of small horses, Sunset!”
“And adorable!” Fluttershy cupped her hands to her cheek, grinning wide. “Just look at how bright and vibrant you all look!” She fought a giggle—and lost. “Heeheehee! Applejack, I didn't realize you were so orange in the other world!”
“Mrmmmm...” Applejack leaned back with her arms crossed, suppressing a smirk. “Dun rub it in, now.”
“Yes yes—enough frittering around already,” Rarity broke the moment with a wave of her dainty hand. “Let's get to the important part!” Her eyes brightened. “Show pictures of me, Sunset! Oh, I must see the Rarity from your world! I must I must I must I must!”
“Alright, already!” Sunset Shimmer flipped wildly through the album at the center of the conversation. “What's the friggin' hurry, anyways? Starlight told me this is a gift from Twilight. We can all keep this thing among us.” At last, she came to a spread of photos and pointed. “There. Taken from inside Canterlot Boutique. See?”
“Well, Rares?” Pinkie craned her neck with a smirk. “Is horse-you anywhere nearly as fabulous as non-horse-you?”
“Oh... my... goodness...!” Rarity clasped a hand over her mouth as her eyes sparkled. “...I look positively divine!” The other girls giggled as she pointed enthusiastically at every square inch of the photographed unicorn's mane. “Look at those curls! The style! The immaculate shine to her coat! Eeeeee! Even her tail is a work of art! And...! And...! And...! The Boutique! Why...” She fanned herself, almost to the point of tears. “...all of those jewels and gold accents and silver threads! The entire establishment puts my own personal workspace to absolute shame!”
“Awwww...” Sunset smiled nervously. “Now Rarity, that's not the whole point of my sharing this—”
“Shhhhh!” Rarity's brow furrowed. “Flip the page, darling!”
Sunset did as requested.
Both Rarity and Fluttershy gasped at once. “That ensemble!” Rarity cooed. “That entire wardrobe! Dresses for pretty horses! Dresses for pretty horses! Oh, my stars, unicorn-Rarity is an absolute genius!”
“And is that Coco Pommel?” Fluttershy pointed. “With the flower headpiece and the teal-colored tail?”
“I do believe it is, darling!”
“Awwwwwwwwwwwwww...” Fluttershy giggled yet again. “She looks so snuggable!”
“Ya mean more than usual?” Applejack drawled.
The entire table snickered.
“There's more where that came from,” Sunset said with a smirk. “Starlight took pictures from Rainbow Dash's latest Wonderbolts airshow.”
“Whoah...!” Rainbow Dash nearly fell out of her seat. “Now this I've got to see!”
“And there are photos from their trip northeast to visit a race of creatures called the 'griffons,'” Sunset continued. “As well as some dragons they saw along the way.”
“Ooooooh...” Fluttershy gripped the table hard. “Real dragons?!? I can't wait!”
“Me neither!” Pinkie Pie squirmed and squirmed in her seat. Without looking, she suddenly spurted: “Take a seat already, Flashie!”
“Huh???” the other girls collectively huh'd.
“Huh?” Flash Sentry echoed, for it was then that he realized that he was standing just two feet away from the table, gawking at the album in their possession. He lingered like an embarrassed statue, his tray of food rattling in his grip. “Oh! No... I was just—”
“Sunset has a photo of all our pony selves from the other world!” Rainbow Dash wagged her eyebrows. “Isn't that friggin' cool?”
“It's... certainly... snazzy?” Flash cleared his throat. “Sorry. I shouldn't have been eavesdropping. Uhhhh...” He reached up to loosen the collar of his hoodie and smirked apologetically. “I'll leave you gals alone—”
“Nuh uh!” Pinkie Pie hopped up. “Not on your Nelly Furtado!” She yanked the startled young man towards the table until he was plopped in a seat beside Applejack and the party planner responsible. “Nobody expects the Equestrian Inquisition! Hit it, Sunny!”
“Uhhhhhh...” Sunset Shimmer blinked. “Hit what?”
“Thrill us all with something super duper awesome and breathtaking!”
“Oh! Uhm...” Sunset Shimmer poured through the book once more. Flash watched nervously as she flipped towards the front and opened the album to a noticeably large panoramic shot. “Ah! This one's a beauty!” Smirking, she held the book up and out for the rest of the lunch table to see. “Behold! Canterlot!” A sly wink. “It's where I used to train in magic.”
“Ooooooooooh!” the rest of her friends chanted in awe. Flash was no less impressed. Before them stretched the glossy image of a majestic city built atop the precipice of a frost-tinted mountain. Castle spires and brightly-colored rooftops glistened in a golden sun that shone across a cloudless blue sky.
“It's also where the princesses live!” Sunset said.
Flash's eyes twitched. He glanced curiously at Sunset, murmuring: “...Princesses?”
“Well... two of them.” Sunset flipped to another page. “Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor live here.” A circular metropolis hugged the foundations of an enormous tower in the middle of a snowy tundra. “The Crystal Empire.”
“Wowwww...!”
“Oh, now that is positively extravagant!”
“Look at those ponies in the foreground! They're practically see-through!”
“Well, I'll be...”
“Aaaaaaand...” Sunset Shimmer turned the page, illustrating a homely cottage town—with a gorgeous crystalline manor looming along the verdant fringes. “This would be where our friend lives.”
“Holey moley! You're telling us that's Twilight's pad?!”
“Heh... kinda stands out amongst the local fixin's, don't it?”
“I do love the earthen quality of the structure. Looks like raw gemstones!”
“Yeesh...” Twilight Sparkle... their Twilight Sparkle hunched a bit in her seat, smiling sheepishly. “Talk about an upgrade.”
Sunset merely smiled at her. “I assure you, Princess Twilight only keeps it because of her royal duties. Plus... you've got a way better observatory here on Earth.”
“I-I do?”
“Promise.”
“Is that 'Ponyville' surrounding Twilight's place?” Fluttershy asked.
“Mmmhmm. That it is.”
“Do ya got more photos of that?” Pinkie grinned in anticipation.
“As a matter of fact...” Sunset flipped a page. “...I do.”
“Whoah...!”
“Well, I'll be! That there's Barnyard Bargains! Just like here in Canterlot!”
“Hey! And there's the skating rink! Like we have downtown! Heh... ponies can put on roller blades? Awesome!”
“Wait! Who's that?!”
“Who's what?”
“There, Dashie! The lil' orange one! On the wheels!”
“Holy smokes! That's Scootaloo! No way! Ha ha ha ha!”
“She looks even adorabler than ever-er!”
“Heeheehee!”
As the girls giggled and tittered with glee, Flash found himself staring in a newfound stupor. His eyes could barely keep up with each colorful photo of colorful horses with colorful smiles. This grew even more challenging as Sunset flipped to newer and newer images of idyllic village roads and farmsteads to satiate her friends' appetite.
“Hey!” Pinkie suddenly burst. “There's me! Me me me me!”
“Yes, you you you you...” Sunset stuck a tongue out and chuckled. “You work at Sugarcube Corner with the Cakes. You practically run the place... erm... from what Starlight and Princess Twilight tell me.”
“Eeeeeeeee-heeeee-heeee!” Pinkie hopped up and down in her seat besides Flash. “Look at all those baked delights! How can a little horsie with little hoofsies possibly prepare them all so neatly?!”
“It's...” Sunset Shimmer squirmed. “...not as difficult as you might think, Pinkie.” A slight cough. “In fact, I think it's somehow... easier for the other you.”
“Easier?” Blue sapphires blinking. “How?”
“Oh! Gosh...” Fluttershy pointed. “Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake! As foals!”
“Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...!” Rarity, Applejack, and Twilight all cooed as one.
“No friggin' way...” Rainbow pointed. “Gummi... is... real over there?”
“Well, duh, Dashie!” Pinkie rolled her eyes, smirking. “He's real over here too!”
“Yeah, but no, but—I mean... he's an actual alligator over there!”
“And he's perfectly safe,” Sunset insisted. “Even around the Cakes' children.”
“Gotta admit...” Applejack smirked. “That's borderin' a mite bit on cartoonish.”
“I know what you mean,” Sunset said. “Er... at least I think I do... but—as a matter of fact—everypony in that photograph is perfectly safe.”
“And happy too.”
A beat of silence. Every girl looked over at Flash.
He was still staring at the photographs. “Everypony looks so happy.”
Rainbow, Rarity, and Fluttershy exchanged confused glances.
“Well...” Sunset nodded. “Yes, Flash. Ponies—just like people—tend to smile before the camera.”
“Where are all the cars?” Flash asked, still enmeshed in the glossy pastels. “And... like... airplanes? Police? Hospitals?” He glanced up at her. “Do... ponies even use cell phones?”
“We... have... some of those things, Flash,” Sunset explained. She levitated the moment with a tiny, hopeful smile. “But... not all things here are mirrored there.”
“Equestria simply doesn't have the same technological requirements as Terra Firma,” Twilight said. She immediately winced. “Erm... sorry if I'm speaking out of place—”
“No, that's quite right.” Sunset patted Twilight's shoulder before continuing. “I forgot that I haven't told you as much as I've told the girls here, Flash. While there are some similarities between the two worlds, I guess you could say that Equestria is a bit...” She tongued the air, searching for words on a wing. “... … ...simpler.”
“Although magical-er!” Pinkie Pie interjected, giggling.
“But...” Flash blinked, his eyes returning to the album's pages. “...I thought the Sirens...” He stirred slightly in his seat. “I thought... uhm... there were monsters from Equestria.” He gulped. “And harmful magics... uh... n-not all the time, of course.”
“Oh, there are dangers in the land I'm from for sure,” Sunset said with a nod. “But a lot of it is under control! Twilight... er... Princess Twilight and her friends have saved Equestria from many... many dangers. Harmony is a big deal there—just like it is here! Only... I guess... things are a lot more under control.”
“Still... that place sounds friggin' awesome,” Rainbow Dash said. “What I wouldn't give to go over there and stretch some wings. Like real wings! See the sights and such!”
“They don't even have to wear clothes,” Flash randomly said. “They're just... happy to be who they are in front of each other.” He swallowed hard. “They don't need electronics and machines to push each other further apart.”
Once again, the table fell into awkward, squirmy silence. Flash felt it the most, and he shriveled.
Sunset noticed it. She cleared her throat. “Tell you what—Music! Now there's a place where Equestrians are just as advanced as Earthlings!” She began thumbing through the pages. “In fact, I'm quite certain their world's Spike took photos of the latest Countess Coloratura concert that happened in Ponyville. Once you see the lights and sound system that they've got set up, Flash, you'll be green with—”
“Thank you very much for sharing, but I...” Flash stood up, shuffling one numb leg after another away from the table. “...I have to be going. Uhm. Enjoy the rest of your lunch period.”
“Aint'cha gonna take yer meal?” Applejack stated.
“Hmmmm?” With a thick, tired look, Flash rediscovered the tray of pasta and fruit lying before the empty seat. He hadn't even remembered what he ordered from the line. “Oh. Uhm. I'm not really hungry...”
“Sweet!” Rainbow Dash yanked the tray over. “More for us, then!”
As she scarfed the meal down, a worried Pinkie Pie craned her neck. “Flashie...?”
But he was already gone.
Flash Sentry squatted on a bench in the school courtyard, hugging his knees to his chest. There were a few minutes left in the lunch hour, but he couldn't keep track of time anymore. All of the lines were scattered. He clenched his eyes tight to shut the chaos out, but he liked what he saw there even less.
So, as always, he chose to survive the moment one sigh at a time. It was almost enough to keep himself together.
And then her footsteps scuffled up to a thunderous stop right beside him.
“Flashie...?” Pinkie Pie's voice was three times as melodic when she sounded concerned, it both soothed and seared him all at once. “What's the matter? Please tell us.”
Flash somehow knew that Pinkie Pie was—in fact—alone. He learned long ago that the girl had a habit of speaking for the entire universe. It's probably why he avoided talking to her most days.
He couldn't avoid much of anything anymore.
The first thing out of his mouth was an apology—he expected no less.
“I'm sorry for what happened back there at the table,” he muttered. “You were all having a special moment and I stepped up and ruined it.”
“You didn't ruin anything.” The bench shifted; he felt the warmth of her sitting beside him. “Plus—I invited you to sit down, silly!”
He clenched his jaw. “You... really shouldn't ever invite someone like me to things, Pinkie.”
“Why not?”
“It's just not a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“I'd really rather not get into it.”
“... … ….Why not?”
Flash gnashed at his teeth. His shoulders shook, but he wasn't mad at her. He surrendered to silence.
A silence that Pinkie broke. “Something about those happy pony pictures made you sad,” Pinkie Pie said. “And I would like to know why. Would you please tell me, Flashie?”
“It's... not easy to explain.”
“I'm not easy to explain!” Pinkie Pie sing-songed. “At least that's what my sister Limestone tells me! Heehee! And yet—I always find newer stone soup recipes than she can ever keep up with!”
Flash Sentry did not dare even think of laughing. “That doesn't make sense.”
“Nothing ever has to.”
His eyes opened at that, and they were more than a little bit moist. He glanced ever so slightly over his shoulder, aware of a warm, fuchsia shape waiting patiently over some bleak horizon.
“Do you...” He fidgeted in that spot, huggings his knees tighter. “Do you ever think you were born in the wrong place?”
She rested her hands in her lap. “What do you mean by that, Flashie?”
“I can't stop thinking... how magical and joyful and innocent Equestria is. I always imagined—what with how adorable Twilight was... but I never actually knew... never had an idea... until now... and... and it makes me think...” He stared down at his feet with a grimace, as if they didn't belong to him. “If I had lived my life there... then maybe... just maybe... I wouldn't have so much trouble getting out of bed in the morning.”
Pinkie shrugged. “This world isn't so bad, Flashie.”
“Mrmmfff...” He glared at the concrete malaise surrounding them. “Name one good thing about it.”
Her smile sliced into his peripheral. “You live in it!!!” After that outburst, her voice pooled into a soft sea. “And if you were born in Equestria, I wouldn't have the joy of seeing you every day!”
Flash felt a knot in his throat, and still some part of him fought it. “You would say that about everybody.”
He sensed her shaking her head.
“No,” Pinkie said. “I say that about everybody differently. And you're a wonderful kind of 'different,' Flashie. A 'different' that I would love to know better.” There was a soft hand on his shoulder. “We all would.”
Flash felt the first of several walls crumbling. He thought of running away, but he would only slam blindly into something. The tears made sure of that.
“I'm... s-sorry for being like this, Pinkie,” he said, wiping one eye, then the next, finding the waves insurmountable. It was all far more sudden than he could ever have imagined, even in the coldest shadows of his room. “I'm sure you've got much more important things to do.”
The hand on his shoulder retreated. Flash gasped, momentarily weightless, until he felt the arm return—along with a second—holding his waist tightly from behind.
“Feeling good is important too,” Pinkie said. Her smile was a warm, vibrating thing, even to a blind man such as himself.
They both tested that new anchor in tender silence, interrupted only by the occasional sob issued between them. And by the time Flash was well spent, that one tether doubled.