Blue was sitting in her big chair. It was a very comfortable chair. It reminded her of her... her something. Apparently it didn’t remind her well enough.
”Spades Duck.” said Blue Tea, who was Spades’s wife.
The can of butt whoopin’ floated in the corner. It whispered something to Blue.
“̴̢̛̤̪͉͆a̶̢̧̧͍͖̩̼͎̬̙̟͐̎͑n̶̤͈̮̳͚͕̮̥̺͋̎̋͗̀̀d̴̥͙̝̭̞̜̹́͐͐̍̊̏͝͝ ̵̧͚̪̱͇̣̭̮̯͑͘͜ǫ̷̞̺͍͚̤̖̀̑͐̀̊̑̉̏̾̈́̈͜n̶̡̲͇̫͗͛̉͛̄͆͝ ̶̡͈͎̯̰͋a̸̧̧̻̯͍͈͙͔̻̳̖͊n̶͖̘͛ḋ̸̨͔̭͉̝̙̌͊̍̈͒͝ ̵͎̱̯̖̻̳̍̈́̇͝ͅo̷̦͎̗̬̟͙͔̳̩̼͙̓͝n̶̡̬̻̞̉͊͒̎͗̎̚͜ͅͅ ̶̢̢̤̐̿̀͐̈̀̀͆̌̿á̷̧̢͎͕͙̳̭̾̑ṋ̵̢̱͚̺̯̥̪̖̓̏ḓ̷̨͉̩̮̟̠̟͓̳̀̉͆̆̾̕͝ ̵̛͔̹̖̝̠̞̫̥̰̊́͒̉͒̅̓͒͛̿o̶̧͍̫̱̘̻̔̈́̈́̂̑̀̚͜ͅn̴̺͎̜͈͑̋̈̄̕”̸̤̥̫̰̘̖̊̏̓̋̇̀͝ͅwas what it whispered. Blue didn’t understand. She was hungry. Spades understood. He finally understood. She was so very hungry.
Pinkie Pie entered Spades’s house through the front door. Her mane hung limp and flat over her neck, all of its usual poofiness nowhere to be found. Beyond the door, the outside was void. Black. Not black. Purple.
Blue was transfixed by the can. It spun slowly, getting darker as it spun.
“Spades?” asked Pinkie, looking around the kitchen. There was nopony named Spades in the kitchen. He wasn’t there. He was back. Back a few chapters. The toaster on the counter laughed. It was a changeling. Pinkie picked it up and held it in front of her. “Have you seen Spades?”
The toaster on the counter laughed. It was a changeling. Pinkie dropped the toaster she was holding. What toaster? There was no toaster.
Pinkie went into the living room. She saw Blue Tea in the corner, listening to the can.
“̷̳̼̲̗̦͇̻͖̳̤̦̾͂̿̌̆̕͘͝ȧ̶̰͔͚̮̒͗́̽͌͌̋͝n̴̨̥͈̭̘̦̯̱͉̼̻̈́̃͛d̴̛̟̟̤̬̞͕̐͐ọ̵̰͑̒̑̐̊̌́́n̶̯̣̹̭̦̘̼̻̲̓́͐̈͋̏ͅä̷̡̜̞̬̭̳̰̙́̀̈́̔͋̑̓̎n̶̦͕̰̦̼̯̎̈́̍͜d̵̡̖̲̝͙̹̹͈̠̙̏̒̎̓̋̄͝o̷͈̞͕̖̥͎̭̦̯̼̩̓́̈̃̕̚n̴̲̗̘͉̝̦͎̉̋̉̾͌̐̉͋͝͝͝à̵̪̥͓͋́̂̐̄n̵̢̙̜͙̣͎͍͔̻̺̈̀̒̂̓̊̒͌̌̍͠d̷̻̙̠̀͂͝o̷̡̳̝̺̳͉̯̍̎͗̆̈́͛́̆̕n̵̼̟͔̙͎̼̪̱͖̖̒̈̂͌̏͠â̷̤͖̐͒̐ń̸̨̯͇̬̻͗̑̚d̶̡̛̛̠̟̯̮̯͎͎͑͂o̶͇̳̝̝͔̭̘̅n̷̡̛̝̼̥͓̐̿͋̌̉̉͝ȧ̴̧̡̝͔͇̺̞̗͈̹̐͗̾̓͆ņ̴̲̪͕̩̹̭̲͙̫̮̊̌́̽̕͝͝d̵̩̀͌̀́͂̄̓͛̆͘o̵͚̫̅͠n̵̨̝̼̠͕̘̤̺͎̼̍͋̀̀́̇̈ͅa̵̪̼͈̟̦͖̔̎́̇̀̈n̷͚͈͘ḓ̷̨̘̱̼͎̮̬͈͛̄́̃̍o̶̧̫̱̯͉̹̞̱͍̙͆̈́͆ņ̸̛̬̘̮̖͇̙̠͈̫̱̓̈́́̿̓̄͐̚͠”̴̡̧͍̼̠͚͔͇̇͋̊̕͜is what the can whispered. Blue nodded her head. She understood.
“...ooookay then.” whispered Pinkie as she backed away from Blue and the hovering can.
The toaster on the counter spoke. “̶̦̗̌͘Ȏ̵̭̔ǹ̷̹̝̗͎͇̲͛̽̂́ ̵̘̮̥̣̜̂̋͜â̸̯̼̻̒̀n̴̫̚d̵̟̱̰͎̑̉̄ ̵̡̹̌̽̀̾́̕o̷͕͂͝n̵̯͎̐̑̔ ̶̟͕͈̋͗́a̸̟̫̲̅̊n̷̖̓ḑ̷͔͖̳̲̾̈͆͋̀̅ ̴͖̩̓͆̀̕ó̵̟̬̘̂̔͝n̶̠͙̑́̊͊”̵̛͙̐̿ Pinkie shook her head. She was back in the kitchen. She harrumphed and went to the back door. It was already open. She went through, and entered the back yard. There was a large crater in the middle. It reminded Pinkie of a duck pond. She walked to the edge and looked in. At the bottom was a single duckling. It looked up at her and quacked.
Pinkie continued deeper into the yard. The farther she went, the higher the grass was. After walking for ten minutes, the grass was over Pinkie’s head. She continued walking.
Suddenly the grass was gone from in front of Pinkie. There was just a large rectangle of dirt surrounded by impossibly tall grass. The middle of the rectangle was raised, as if something had been buried there.
A wind blew through the grass, making it whisper.
“̷͓̘͍̈́̿̈́O̴̥̠̿͆͌͂͆n̷̫͍͙̞̣͎̿͂̚a̵̟̲̠̓̏͋ǹ̶̦̏͌̏̎̑d̴̢͎̣̫̮͓͑ȯ̶̬͓̳̼͇̓ͅn̵̢̫͎̳̭͔͆̃̑ă̷̧̟͓͚͉͎͋͠n̶̝̂̎͆͝ḓ̸̬͍̭͌̆̔̋̕o̶͎̓̉̀̍̚͝ṉ̶̼̙͎͌̈͋̊̈̍͜
Pinkie Pie approached the mound and began to dig.
The wind blew harder. The grass was no longer whispering.
“̴̡̥͕̮̗͚͐̎̃Ö̸̹̠́͗̈́̅̕ñ̸͓͒̏ā̴̫̳͔n̵͕̰̓̾̈́́d̴͚͍͓̙̩͛̿͝o̴͈̼̘̤̗͛͗̿n̶̳̕ä̵̝͍̼̯̭̞́͊n̸̺͙͕͋d̸͖̳̫͇́̔̍̈o̸͙͛͌̚͝n̶̝̰͓̑ä̴̜̦̣̯̑̆ñ̵̛͖̯̦̃d̷̖̦̣̝͖̘̍ó̶̧̢̪̖͉́͝n̴̹̆̽”̶̢̛͐̾̉
Pinkie was digging frantically now. It was only a bit further. Her hoof hit something metal. The grass was screaming now.
“̵̢̯͔̫̣̻̹̯̈́A̴̛͙̞̔̃͂̽͐̆̈́̓̽͆̑͝Ṋ̷͔̺̥̠͔̖͖̰̗̠͂̋̓̎̃͊̆̄͝͝ͅD̸̻̣͚̰̍͒͌̓͑̅͗͑̀Õ̷͚̲̖̅̊̈̏̚Ṅ̶̻̪͙̀̾̏̔̀A̵̮̮̞̤̋̎͊͑͛͛̉̍͂̕N̵̛͙̯̜̮͇͎̻̹͎͈̹̦̞̠̈́̍̽̆̓̾͆̕Ḑ̸̛͖̪̼͎̞̺͓̗͍̳̦͚̊̈́̈́̐̔̇̽͘͘͝Ǫ̷͖̰͍͈͔̗̝͚͖̤͑̓͑̿̒̑̐͘͠ͅN̸͉̻̿̿̉̍̃̅͘̕͝Ä̶̠̮͔̗̯͓̥̻̟́̑͝N̶̡̳̣͉͓̺͔̙͔̮͉͒̆̊̔̂̅̿̍́̕ͅD̵̨̛̤̭͉̬̞͖̯͎̙̔͆̄̂͊̀̅̓͝Ó̵̢̳̝͚̗̜̣̮̭̺̥̠͉͖͆̐̉͜͠͠Ń̶̡͈̤̟̙͙́͐̀̄̚̕̕A̸͔̻̒̓̅͋̕N̵̟̥̲̬̻͙̫̱̖̓̏͋̈́̈́̂̀́͑̋̓͜͜D̵̛͈͇͍͔̄̔́̎̀́͛̾͂̈̚̕̚͝Ō̷̘̤̞̩͓̙͈͙̗͇̅͠Ņ̴̧͙̤͚̠̪̳̦̞̏̊́̊́̔̏͜͝ͅ!̸̜̜̀̅̌̇͒̕͝”̶̧̖͍̦̈́̎̑̋
Pinkie ignored it, and pulled the rusty shovel out of the ground, dusting it off with a hoof. Pieces of rusted metal fell off and into the dirt, where they dissipated into nothingness.
The wind stopped blowing, and the tall grass fell silent, as if waiting.
Pinkie grabbed a long blade of grass and used it to secure the shovel to her back. And then she took off, running through the grass towards where the the crater, and the duck within.
But she would not make it in time.
•••
What are these worlds that we create? Are they real? No. They are our own creations, to do with as we please. The characters aren’t real. While they might seem to have feelings, and ideas, and intuition, it is all a product of the words of the author and the mind of the reader. This was my world, with Spades, and Blue, and Pinkie, Luna, Kissylips, the changelings, Twilight and Flash, and everyone else. It isn’t real.
And yet.
And yet, if Pinkie were not to make it to the duck crater in time, I would describe how the world would fall to ruin. How the world shrivels and dies, leaving behind an empty husk. I would tell you that Pinkie cried as she watched it all fall apart. And then I would end it. The story would be over. I would move on to write other works. Sure, I could always pull a few more alternate endings here and there, but it wouldn’t feel right. The whole time I’ve been writing this chapter, it’s felt so final. If I end it in the way I have told you, I would be done with Spades and his friends.
But I could also go the other route. I could mess with stuff so Pinkie arrives in time. I mean, it’s not hard. Just... words on a page.
Why should I care? Why should you care? Why am I being so serious about this? It’s April Fool’s day, after all.
And yet, I feel like Spades deserves it. A good ending. A final ending. Let’s move on from this day in time. Let’s move forward, dear readers. For Spades. For Blue. For Kissylips, and Stanley the Changeling. For all of them.
For me.
So.
Here we go.
•••
Pinkie Pie was not going to make it in time.
But this was because she was merely running.
Pinkie laughed, her mane poofing back into shape as she coiled her legs.
And then she pronked, sending herself flying into the air, gigglesnorting as she practically flew through the unraveling sky. From this high up she could see the empty duck pond. And the duck within.
The duck saw the pink pony falling towards it, and quacked in distress.
But it was too late.
For the duck, that is.
Pinkie landed right next to it like a feather, and removed the shovel from her back. The duck tried to run, but Pinkie grabbed it with a leg and placed it on the shovel, or the “spade,” as one might call it.
A spade and a duck.
Spades Duck.
And so it was.
•••
With everything back to some semblance of normal, or at least as far as he could tell, Spades went back to his bowl of oatmeal.
Suddenly, Pinkie Pie burst into the room from the front door, startling Spades and Blue.
“Don’tcha know there’s a changeling invasion going on? And you’re eating... you’re eating... what are you eating?”
“Oatmeal?” replied Spades.
And then she said “Oatmeal? Are you CRAZY?”