The world returned and Drifting whimpered. She was at a place. That was all she could think to describe it. It looked like a house, almost. Except everything was weird. There were stairs to nowhere, the window opened out to a void filled with floating islands, the furniture was… running around. She swore she saw an upside down room just off from the kitchen. “N-nice place?”
“Oh, this? It’s just a breaker-downer,” Discord said with a laugh. “But I didn’t bring you here to discuss my fabulous home. I came to make you an offer.”
The unicorn squeaked. “A-an offer? Is… this because I hit you with the bat?”
“The what? Oh, no, no no no,” he said with a malevolent smile. “You said you wanted to be a mare, did you not? So I’ve come to offer you...” He snapped his fingers and two buttons appeared in front of Drifting. One said ‘mare’, the other said ‘stallion’. “The chance to… err...”
The unicorn had already hit the mare button.
“…Don’t you want to hear the offer first?”
“Err, right, sorry,” Drifting said, blushing.
The spirit chuckled. “Indeed. But I’ll cut to the chase. It’s oh so very true that normal magic can’t do such a thing. And I cannot tell you just how… saddened I am that Twilight’s magic of… hmph… friendship can’t perform such a feat, either.”
Drifting couldn’t help but think he didn’t look sorry at all. He looked smug as the cat about to eat the canary.
“But mine, on the other hand, why… it would be eas-- difficult, but doable. But in return… I’ll need something from you.”
Drifting nodded. “W-what… exactly?”
“Ten years.”
“Ten… years?”
“Ten years of your life, to--” Discord blinked a few times, sighing. “Can you stop hitting that button like that when I’m TRYING to be dramatic?”
“Sorry, but ten years is fine. Heck, I’d give up twenty if it could… err. Wait. Full girl, right?”
Discord nodded. “Of course. Ten years, full mare. All the way down to your tail and snout...” he said with a very, very wicked grin.
“Then yes! Ten years is fine! I’ll do it!” She smashed the button once more.
The spirit of chaos merely laughed. “Oh, please do remember that eagerness.” Before he snapped his fingers.
Drifting found herself in a massive chamber. The ground was white, with a large, red carpet that led up down the center towards three thrones. The unicorn squeaked and stared when she realized that Celestia, Luna and Twilight were all staring at her, drawing her attention fully before she could look around the rest of the room. Oh dear heavens she wanted to die. Even more when she realized those three were the only ponies in the room aside from her.
“DRIFTING?!” Twilight yelled, her wings spreading before she got to her hooves. “Discord, what is the meaning of--” The spirit of chaos appeared in front of them, a wide grin on his face. “--This?!”
“Why, isn’t it obvious? You asked for a volunteer, and I’ve procured one. And while, certainly this pony wasn’t my first pick… I believe you will find they meet the criteria required. No?”
“She’s a minor,” the princess of friendship said, her eyes swiveling to Drifting. She looked furious, and the unicorn had a feeling it was a mix of at her and at Discord.
“That is acceptable. We all know more than a few minors have joined your guard, while finishing their schooling,” he said with that wicked grin.
“Yes, a few. But not our first,” Celestia said, her own eyes narrowing. “There’s no need to involve a foal.”
“W-what?” Drifting finally managed to speak up. Only to quickly cower and back up when three royal pairs of eyes turned to her. “S-sorry.”
“You know that young mare?” the Princess of the Sun asked, glancing to Twilight.
She merely nodded. “Yes. She’s, err. A… friendship project I’ve been working on. I didn’t know she was planning to be a part of this. Discord, why did you select her?”
“Why, she asked for it,” Discord said with a low chuckle. “Why, she practically begged for it… with proper compensation, of course.”
“Proper comp--” Twilight started, then froze. Her eyes dilated slightly. “Y-you didn’t, you haven’t. DISCORD! You can’t just--”
“Oh, I can. Spirit of Chaos, remember? All those little laws and requirements you have with your magic? Doesn’t apply to me. You know this better than anybody, little miss over achiever,” Discord said with a wide grin. “I made an offer, she accepted. Ten years, and I grant her wish. A fair trade, no?”
“TEN YEARS?!” Twilight yelled, stepping up in her chair. “Discord, you--”
“I believe that is plenty of time to attain my goal. And who knows? Maybe she’ll ask for another ten when all is said and done,” he said with a soft chuckle.
Drifting just blinked a few times, feeling more and more confused with every second.
“She can’t sign on for that long,” Twilight snapped. “She’s a--”
“Will someone PLEASE tell me what is going on?!” Drifting finally yelled, shaking her head. Then yelped and covered her mouth, realizing she just yelled at the princesses. “I-I mean… if that’s okay.”
“…You haven’t told her?” Celestia asked, her own eyes swiveling to Discord.
Drifting gulped and stared at the white alicorn, her own stomach doing flip flops. She’d never seen the ruler of the sun look mad before. But she definitely looked furious now.
“Of course I have,” Discord said with a chuckle. “Isn’t that right, Drifting?”
“H-huh? Err. Yes. He takes ten years of my life and… ummm… turns me… into a mare...” she said sheepishly, nudging her hooves into the carpet, her eyes unable to look up at the rulers.
“Into a mare?” Celestia asked. “I’m… afraid I don’t understand. And take ten years of your life? No, that’s not what he’s asking you, my child.” She turned her furious gaze on Discord. “He’s recruiting you, into his… chaos guard.” Her voice burned with venom.
“Ah. Okay… wait. What? Recruiting into what now? What’s a chaos guard?”
Discord merely chuckled. “Oh my. Did I forget to explain? How silly of me. I’m not taking ten years of your life, no no no no. In return, you’re giving me ten years of your life. Ten years in my new chaos guard. My own personal force, opposite the lunar and solar guard… and I suppose the crystal guard… and friendship guard,” he muttered the last one with a hint of annoyance. “That was part of the agreement, was it not, your highness?” he taunted back at them. “If I found somepony willing to, fully… dedicate themselves to the cause. To be my first chaos guard.” He snapped his fingers.
Drifting squeaked when armor appeared on her body. It was a strange, dark green color, with a design almost exactly like the solar guard’s. Except for the mohawk at the top was instead a strange, curved horn. The mare was so distracted for a few seconds by this new change that she almost missed the most important thing.
She was a mare. He’d actually done it. She was a mare. FULLY. She could feel it. That sense of ‘wrongness’ just gone. She felt like she might start crying.
Twilight looked ready to burst into flame, staring with pure hatred at Discord. “Yes, and we imagined you’d choose somepony ELSE to be your representative. There have to be other ponies! Why her?”
Discord gave the most innocent smile he was capable of, it did nothing to amuse the rulers. “Why, yes, I did. Unfortunately, my primary candidate accidentally fell through. Dimensions. Chaos magic can be like that sometimes.”
“DISCORD!” Twilight roared, her wings flaring out and making the windows of the room shake. “WHY ARE YOU INVOLVING DRIFTING IN THIS?!” Her voice echoed through the hall, making the windows rattle.
“Oh my. The Canterlot royal voice? Marvelous,” the spirit said with a laugh. “Easy. I needed a representative. You ponies want somepony who can watch over me. Or did you think I missed how many of my prime candidates you were, ahem, monitoring? And Drifting here, well… I think we all.” He pointedly glanced to Celestia. “Well, most of us, at least, know what she wants. Isn’t that right?”
Drifting was too busy staring at her hooves to care, her mouth falling open. “It’s… it...”
Twilight let out a low growl, a hoof over her head. Then her eyes lit up. Her horn glowed for a moment and a small book appeared in front of her. She quickly flipped through it, before nodding. The purple alicorn then glanced to the other princesses and gave a nod, all three leaning in and whispering amongst themselves.. If Drifting had managed to notice their faces, he’d have noted a look of smugness on the alicorn’s face.
“Unfortunately, Discord. You’re correct. All of this is technically true,” she said with a nod. “And we will agree on two counts. One, Drifting? We will need your express consent.”
“Huh?” Drifting asked, glancing up from staring at her flank. “What? Oh. Um. Yes? Whatever the awesome spirit says,” she said, before glancing back. It had to be a dream. It had to be. This was all too easy. She felt right.
“…And her consent later once the shock wears off,” Twilight said with a sigh, putting a hoof to her forehead. “Stupid spirit… How in the world are you friends with Fluttershy? Pure evil...” she grumbled under her breath. “And the second aspect… Her recruitment of only five years. That is the minimal amount of time for a member of the guard, including basic training.”
Discord nodded. “Oh, very well. Five years is plenty,” he said with a dismissive wave of his hand.
“Wonderful. Now, as we’re in agreement. As per section seven, sub-paragraph six of the royal guard code, as the newest guard order, while granted to a non-ruling element of the Equestria hierarchy, your guard will be monitored by the strictest measurements.”
“Oh, but of course,” the spirit said with an almost giddy glee, clasping his hands together.
“And, as such, will fall under the purview of one of the already established guard units.”
Discord paused, blinking a few moments. “Come again?”
“As per section seven, sub-para--”
“No, not that. The purview? What is that supposed to mean?” he asked.
Drifting felt a light tingling in her horn and took a quick step back, though she didn’t know why. A moment later Discord appeared just above where her head had been, only a few inches tall, and fell to the ground. Only to reappear a second later just above her head properly, reaching out and gripping her horn as he leaned on it.
“It basically means that, until the force is officially, and fully formed, rather than serve directly under you, they will instead operate as reinforcements through the already established guards. Now, as the friendship guard only exists on paper and has never been properly formed, and the crystal guard operates in the Crystal Empire, that leaves the solar and lunar guard.” Twilight cleared her throat. “And, as the lunar guard is still short hoofed, Princess Luna has agreed to take them as their reinforcements… while we sort out the needs of the chaos guard.”
The spirit glared at her, before finally sighing. He disappeared, only to reappear in front of the princess. He was now wearing block glasses and a turtleneck sweater. “Very well. If that’s how you wish it. I accept,” he said in a mocking tone.
“Very well. Then in that case, I move we close this meeting,” Luna said. The other two princesses nodded. The dark alicorn got to her hooves. “Discord, shall we discuss things? Please, come with me.” She turned and trotted down the steps, and out the opposite exit, Discord ditching the outfit and following behind her.
Once they were gone, Twilight shook her head and… “DRIFTING!” she yelled, her glare turning on the unicorn.
Drifting eeked and stumbled back. “E-err… h-hi….”
“What in the world were you thinking? Do you have ANY idea how much trouble you’ve caused? We had all of this handled, without you tossing yourself into the fire. We already knew exactly how to handle his selections and… ugh!”
“S-sorry… umm… but I don’t?”
“Of course you don’t,” Twilight said with a sigh. “Because you didn’t th--”
“No, because I literally do not know. You never told me anything about any of this. Discord did. When he popped into my room and went ‘Hey, I’ll turn you into a mare. If you’ll give ten years’. And I mean, I’d have given twenty years? How in Equestria could I pass that up?”
The alicorn stopped. “Given… twenty years? Why? Do you even understand what you’re asking? You can’t just risk your life like that! It’s not--”
“That’s easy for you to say,” Drifting grumbled. “You already are a mare.”
Twilight put a hoof to her forehead.”Drifting, you have no idea what you’re even talking about. What you’re even offering Discord. He’s a… Well, he’s Discord! If you give him an inch, he’ll take a mile!” she snapped. “And you just gave him ten!”
The unicorn sighed and then glanced towards Celestia, who was sitting on the throne and still managing to look quite regal, while also looking completely confused. Finally, she turned to the Twilight. “Okay, then. What exactly have I agreed to?”
“…What?” the alicorn asked.
“What have I agreed to? What exactly am I going to be doing, in order to be a mare? In order to be right?”
“OH!” Celestia finally spoke up, making both ponies turn to her. “Then I take it, this must be that young mare you told me about in your letters?” she asked Twilight, giving a radiant smile.
“Huh? Oh. Err. Yes. Drifting, meet Celestia. Celestia, meet Drifting.”
“E-err, hello, your highness. A pleasure to meet you.”
“The pleasure is mine,” the white alicorn said before getting to her hooves. She stepped forward, looking the mare up and down before speaking again. “I see. Twilight, I wouldn’t try to change her mind.”
“W-what?” Twilight asked.
“Judging by the things you’ve told me about her, there is no sacrifice she wouldn’t make. And, unfortunately, Discord is correct. Our magic cannot do what she desires. And for that, I am eternally sorry,” Celestia said, moving besides the two.
Drifting couldn’t help but feel humbled before the great mare. “T-thank you, your majesty. I ummm… I’m sorry it all came to this. I mean, I never intended to cause any problems. Really. I just...”
“I understand. Or, at least, I understand as best I can. I’ve been alive a very, very long time and have seen a few ponies with your particular… issue. While it is very rare, I cannot fault a pony, any pony, for wanting to, as you put it, be right,” she said, before reaching out and placing a hoof on the small unicorn’s head, gently. “I am only sorry that you were driven to the point where this became the means by which you could. But, no matter what. Always know you are one of our subjects, and we will not forsake you.”
“O-oh… t-thank you… your majesty. I just… Thank you...” she mumbled, her cheeks burning. “May… I will try my hardest. I promise. To not let any of you down. I just… I just want to be right. I’m sorry…”
Twilight sighed and put a hoof to her forehead. “… It’s fine. I’m sorry I got mad at you, Drifting,” she mumbled. “And no, I suppose it’d not as terrible as it could be. We have been planning for… well. Discord’s guard for a while now. When he first came to us with the proposal, we began to plan on how to deal with it,” she said, gently. “And we’ve been monitoring all of his choices closely.”
Satisfied, Celestia turned and walked away, heading out of the throne room and leaving the two alone.
“And… I kind of threw a hitch in everything, didn’t I?” Drifting said sheepishly, shuffling her hooves. “But I really just--”
“It’s not as bad as that,” the alicorn said, shaking her head. “Though, I would have preferred you HADN’T been involved. I just know Discord is using this to prove a point,” she said flatly. “And… had it been on a day other than today? Had you joined him after his guards had been formed? I wouldn’t have been so upset,” she said firmly. “But you really should not be the first. Because there are going to be a lot of eyes on you,” she mumbled. “Not every eye in the kingdom, but enough,” she mumbled. “We’ll try to get you out of sight as best we can but...”
“But I did kind of invite this, right?” Drifting mumbled.
“As much as I hate to say it, yes. How did Discord even find out about you?”
“Oh, um. The day you brought that yellow mare with you. He came by a few moments after you left.”
The alicorn let out a low, unhappy mix of a whine and a growl. “Really?! I didn’t even… So if I just hadn’t… gahhhhh!” She shook her head. “Right! Focus! Okay then, Drifting. You are familiar with the solar guard and the lunar guard, correct?”
“Err, of course.”
“Good. Now, Equestrian law allows a special ‘guard’ for each ruler or those who are considered of ‘sufficient rank’. Primarily, myself as a princess and Discord as the spirit of chaos. This law has been in existence for centuries, though it wasn’t actually used until recently, when Princess Luna came to the throne. It’s the primary reason why the lunar guard was created so quickly.”
Drifting nodded. “Okay. That… makes sense. And Discord wanted one, now?”
“Discord wants a lot of things. But we never thought he’d actually look through law books. He’s basically the description of lawlessness! Why did he decide NOW to get involved in them? I know somepony had to tell him, and I swear if I ever find out who I will give them SUCH a homework assignment. Ugh. Either way, he put in the formal request to begin his own chaos guard. Soldiers that answer to him. Now, for obvious reasons we’re wary of allowing him, of all ponies, soldiers. But we can’t exactly deny him, either,” she said with a shake of her head. “Technically he is on our side now. And, more importantly, all guards must swear their loyalty to Equestria, first and foremost. Then their guard. And it’s not like there will be a large number of volunteers, either. It’s Discord.”
“There are likely more than a few ponies like me who would happily serve if it meant they could be how they want to be...”
Twilight gave a soft nod. “Exactly. And this sets a dangerous precedent. We’ll now have to setup discussions with him. He can’t just grant anypony their wish, no matter what it is. And while chaos magic is… different. It STILL has rules. If there’s an entire army of ponies banging down his door, trying to get their hearts desire. Or even worse. What if there’s no way to fulfill their hearts desire?”
Drifting stopped, her eyes wide. She imagined for a moment, ponies like her, hearing that this could be done. Then finding out it couldn’t. She gave a shudder. “I-I’m sorry. But I just couldn’t pass this up! This is my chance to be… to be right. And I don’t mind the risks. Even if everypony in Equestria hates me for it, I just want to be normal. Like every other mare...”
“Well, you’re not going to be normal,” the alicorn muttered. “Five years under the chaos guard. Who knows what other tricks Discord has in store? We’ve been trying to cover every angle, but… ugh. There is a silver lining, at least.”
Drifting nodded. “And that is?”
“You’ll be an official member of the chaos guard, likely by the end of the week. And from there, the five years will start. There is a distinct possibility that Discord will completely lose interest in his guard before he fully has control of it. It’ll take time for him to gain enough members for the guard to be fully formed. And, until such time, he will have very limited control. Additionally, the guard are all monitored by strict laws that he will have to follow, and that’s really not something he’ll likely do for long. Probably. Maybe. I hope...” she muttered.
“Err… so what about… ummm… school then?”
“You’ll be getting tutoring, for the time being,” Twilight said with a shake of her head, looking absolutely horrified. “There is no way you’ll be able to keep going there. The press would descend like vultures! How could you ever study like that?!” she asked, the notion of an unsatisfactory education stabbing through her even worse than the nasty trick Discord had played. “We’ll figure out what we can. But… in the end? It’s very possible we won’t be able to protect you at all,” Twilight mumbled. “At least… not as much as we’d like. You’ve thrown yourself into the deep end, Drifting. You’d best get ready to sink or swim.”
Drifting nodded, turning her gaze towards the main door. She took a deep breath, before finally speaking up again. “I know. And I know. But… I think it’s worth it.”
“I certainly hope you’re right. I know I wouldn’t have done something like that.”
“Well, maybe if you’d been born a colt, you would have.”
Twilight shook her head. “I doubt it...”