(Sorry about the wait guys! I wanted to put off writing another chapter untill my editor was finnished with the already existing ones, but after talking to him he said I should just keep writing while the idea is still fresh in my mind)
With his friend calmed down and asleep, Cornelius stepped outside and took in the scenery of a Ponyville morning. The grass glistened with morning dew as sunlight shown through any nearby trees.
‘Well, this is a rather tranquil scene compared to ten minutes ago,’ he thought.
He began to mentally make a list of things he needed to do as he started walking into town square.
‘Alright, let me think, I’ll need to send a letter back to me and Ash’s dads so that they can send us some of our personal belongings for starters. That will help make the place feel a bit homier. I should also check by the local hospital and see if they have any part time jobs. If I don’t have any luck there, I can try the school house. Dad always wanted me to be a teacher. That can wait until after breakfast though…’
As he made his way into the market place, Cornelius recalled the time he told his father that he wanted to travel Equestria with his best friend/girlfriend while capturing criminals and turning them in for money. It was such a pain in the flank to get him to stop laughing and realize he was serious. It wasn’t like he was angry with his son in any way, but he definitely wasn’t ecstatic about the idea. It was times like that when he wished his dad was more like Ash’s and laidback towards everything, even if it was only because her dad was drunk half of the time. Times he wished for this were few and far between. He pondered what it would have been like should either of there mothers have been alive.
Cornelius was snapped back to reality when he heard a voice call his name in the not too far distance. A female voice with a southern accent.
“Hey you! Cornelius! Come over here, I want to talk to ya!”
He turned his head and sure enough, saw Applejack behind her apple cart with Rainbow Dash hanging out next to her. Both of them still had a few bruises from last night. He was a bit hesitant to go over there, worrying about the slim chance that neither of them were filled in on the events that went down last night. Applejack seemed relatively calm, but Rainbow Dash on the other hoof looked pretty peeved.
“Crap, maybe we will have to make a run for it. I should probably choose my words carefully,” he muttered to himself. He planed a few escape routes in his head as he made his way over there to greet them.
“Hey there, what’s up?” Cornelius tried to speak casually but the nervousness in his voice couldn’t be any more evident.
“I don’t know, what do you think is up?” Rainbow Dash replied sourly.
“Now what did I just finish telling you? I thought we agreed to not trouble him none about last night?” Applejack cut in.
“Oh gee, sorry AJ, I guess I don’t take too kindly to having one of my best friends shot in the leg” Dash retorted.
“I figured this would be about last night” Cornelius said, “I’ve said it a hundred times and I’ll say it again, I’m so terribly sorry about what happened. Me and Ash have been living on the road for so long now and you never know what might happen if you’re not careful-”
“Now, now, Sugarcube, you don’t have to prove your innocence. Twilight explained the whole thing to me this morning. Rainbow here however, took a bit of convincing so she wouldn’t fly on over there and causing who knows what kind of trouble” Applejack said. “And don’t you fret none about word spreading around town, we all can keep a secret. Isn’t that right, Rainbow?”
When Rainbow Dash didn’t respond for a bit, Applejack nudged her on the shoulder eliciting a sigh from the cyan mare.
“Yeah yeah, it’s fine and all. But don’t expect me to be all chummying right away next time I see her. Got it?”
Cornelius let out a sigh of relief “Thank you so much. Ash feels terrible about the thing enough as it is.”
Cornelius recalled the events of this morning to Rainbow Dash and Applejack about how devastated Ash was on hearing she shot an innocent pony.
“Poor girl, I don’t know what I would do if I hurt another pony like that,” Applejack said.
Rainbow Dash herself was starting to feel a bit guilty for wanting to punch Ash’s teeth out just five minutes ago. She wasn’t too fond of the feeling of remorse hanging in the air at the moment and tried to lighten the mood.
“Well if anything, Pinkie will bake a ‘I forgive you for shooting me’ cake for her,” she said.
This stifled a laugh from her and the farm pony, but leaving Cornelius unsure if they were serious. Considering her plucky attitude after being shot last night, he was actually willing to believe it to be possible. He then remembered something.
“Speaking of Pinkie Pie, I think somepony mentioned something about her working at a bakery last night. Can either of you confirm this for me?” He asked.
“Oh sure, Sugarcube Corner is a couple blocks over that way. Just look for the giant ginger bread house. It’s quite the sight. You can’t miss it,” Applejack said and pointed in the direction.
“Alright, I promised Ash some donuts so I guess I’ll see you two later then,” Cornelius said. He started to walk away before shortly turning around to add, “And thanks again for being so understanding, I can’t stress that enough”
As he walked out of view, Rainbow Dash began to let out a few small giggles.
“Now what is it?” Applejack asked.
Rainbow Dash giggled some more before simply saying “Dr. Feelgood.”
It took a bit for the orange mare to remember the context that came from and gave a few giggles of her own when she did.
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“Oh wow…”
That was all Cornelius could say as he stood in front of Pinkie Pie’s supposed work place. When Rainbow Dash said to be on the look out for a giant gingerbread house, he merely assumed a confection out on display in a store window, not an actual house made to look like it was constructed out of various treats.
‘It, it is supposed to only look like it was made out of treats, right?’ Cornelius thought, ‘This Pinkie Pie is an odd one, but she can’t possibly live in a gingerbread house, can she? Even if candy was stable enough as a building material, there would be so many complications. If it rained, everything would get all soggy and melt. Not to mention all of the different animals that would be constantly trying to eat it.’
Cornelius shook his head clear of those thoughts.
“What am I thinking? This is something Ash would wonder about,” he said to himself.
He walked up to the door step and was about to knock when the candy cane support beam holding up the ceiling porch caught his eye. He examined the surface and felt it with his hoof. It was perfectly smooth and round. It was either finely sanded wood or something else entirely. He could only think of one way to find out. Cornelius shook his head a second time.
“Oh come on, Cornelius, that’s something only Ash would try...” he said.
He paused for a bit and looked to the left and right. Nopony on either side. He looked back to the supposed support beam.
“Well…” he said doubtfully.
He closed his eyes and stuck out his tongue while leaning towards the stripped pillar. Just as he was about to make contact, he was interrupted by a familiar bubbly voice.
“Don’t even bother silly! I already tried and it doesn’t taste anything like candy canes!”
Cornelius froze in place and turned his head around to see none other than Pinkie Pie wearing a big goofy smile, along with Fluttershy simply sporting a confused look right behind her.
‘Damn, it’s going to take forever to earn all those self respect points back that I just lost,’ Cornelius thought.
“Oh, there you are. I was just looking for you,” he said as if he hadn’t just been caught about to taste a wooden pillar.
Because he was.
“Um, uh, so how does your leg feel? Are there any particular pains I should know about?” he continued, trying to change the subject.
“Nah, being shot in the leg really isn’t as bad as you’d think it would be. Fluttershy here was worried so she came by earlier to check up on me, too,” Pinkie said.
Fluttershy looked at the ground at her name being mentioned.
“I was just concerned is all,” She spoke in a quiet voice.
“Besides, as long as I have this injury I hardly have to do any work for Mr. and Mrs. Cake! Who knew shotguns could be so useful?” Pinkie happily said.
Cornelius stared at her thinking, ‘This mare isn’t possible.’
“Wait, Mr. and Mrs. Ca-? Oh! Oh right you work here don’t you? That was actually the other reason I came over here. See, Ash felt terrible about what happened last night when she found out this morning. Poor thing almost cried. So I was going to pick up some donuts for her to help cheer her up,” Cornelius explained.
Pinkie Pie put her hoof over her mouth.
“That’s awful!” she exclaimed. “Stay right here! I have an idea!”
Pinkie Pie zipped inside the bakery before Cornelius could say another word. And came back out before he could ask Fluttershy what her deal was. When she returned, she had a flat, rectangular box balanced on her back and opened it up with her hoof so that the other two ponies could see its contents.
Cornelius merely said, “Well, I’ll be damned”
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“You sure this is the place, Neal?”
“No doubt about it. That’s Copper Hoof Clyde’s hide out.”
Ash and Cornelius were in the winding desert valleys of Rough Rider Ridge, spying on their latest bounty’s stowaway from an elevated plateau.
“Can you see what they’re doing?” Ash asked.
“Yeah, looks like their playing cards. There’s only five of them, Clyde included. We should easily be able to get the drop on them. Bring us on over behind that rock nice and quiet like,” he explained.
“No problem” Ash said and slowly drove the motorcycle to the spot Cornelius directed. Once she was there, she shut the vehicle down and began to ready her guns.
“Now remember, I can only maintain the bullet protection spell if I can keep a clear line of sight to you. I’ll keep as much distance as I can but should they try attack me, I’m going to need some help, alright?”
“Yeah, yeah; I know, Neal. We’ve only done this, like, a hundred times before. It’s not like we're dealing with anything dangerous here anyways. These guys are just small time smugglers,” Ash replied.
Cornelius sighed “That’s no excuse to treat this one any differently then the others. Overconfidence is the best way to get ourselves killed out here. Just promise me you won’t do anything reckless, okay?”
Ash just smiled “Don’t you worry your pretty little head, Cornelius. I’ll sooner be dining on a cinderblock and sewing a necklace out of the fallen out teeth than let anypony lay a hoof on you. You ready?”
Cornelius grinned at his friend’s reassuring attitude. “Alright, let’s do it.”
The two of them slowly snuck up to the front door of the rundown shack making sure not to be detected by the occupants inside. The two of them stood on both sides of the door. After a pause to raise dramatic tension, Cornelius nodded to Ash. After returning the nod, Ash bucked down the door and started shooting her hoofgun.
“Introducing our latest and greatest product, bullets!” BLAM! BLAM! “Guarantee to solve all of your problems! Does your dog bark too much and doesn’t shut up?” BLAM! BLAM! “Tired of the mailcolt always delivering the wrong mail to your address?” BLAM! “How about that nasty mother-in-law of yours? Watch in awe as Bullets make all of these problems disappear before your very eyes!” Ash screamed as she shot at the unsuspecting outlaws.
She loves her job. She really does.
Ash had managed to down two of the five ponies before they could realize they were under attack. When they did, they flipped over the table for cover and began to return fire. Once they did, Ash ducked back behind the door.
“Gimmie the shotgun, Neal. I’m going in!” Ash said.
“You got it, boss, I’ll be right behind you” Cornelius replied as he levitated Ash’s favorite firearm to her.
With the shotgun held firmly in her teeth, Ash barged into the flurry of oncoming bullets, the majority of them harmlessly bouncing off her body thanks to Cornelius’s spell, with the creator of said spell following close behind, using her as a makeshift shield to protect himself from any stray shots. Ash slammed her body into the overturned table as soon as she closed the distance breaking it into dozens of pieces as well as kicking up a considerable amount of dust. Ash unloaded a few rounds of buckshot into dazed ponies’ legs as soon as the dust cleared.
“And that’s how it’s done” Ash said triumphantly.
“Lets see now, one, two- hey I thought you said there were five of them Neal.” She turned around to question her friend, only for her eyes to witness a grim sight. “Oh pony feathers,” she quipped.
In the midst of the brawl Copper Hoof Clyde had managed to escape her sights and was now making a beeline towards Cornelius with a butcher knife levitated using magic Cornelius was backed up against a wall and defenseless.
“I’m gonna gut you like a trout, boy!” he said.
Ash’s first instinct was to shoot him then and there with her shotgun, but knew that the spread of the blast might hit Cornelius as well. She looked around for an idea but the only thing nearby was a chair. Acting completely on a whim, she positioned herself behind the chair and gave it a good hard buck, sending it flying through the air straight at Clyde and knocking him out cold as the chair broke on contact with the back of his head.
After tying the outlaws up, placing a magic suppressant ring on Clyde’s horn, and bandaging up the wounds well enough for them to be transported to jail, Cornelius sent a letter to the royal guard to pick up their bounty and deliver them their pay.
“Alright Ash, it will be about thirty minutes before the guards arrive. Do you want to just taunt the bounties while I take a nap in the side car while we wait?” Cornelius asked.
“Actually, I had something else in mind on what we could do,” Ash said in a sultry tone. Her eyes were half closed as she slowly approached her friend.
“Wha-what do you mean?” Cornelius replied, taken aback by the sudden change in atmosphere.
Ash whispered something into Cornelius’s ear that caused him to blush profusely.
“Re-really? Right here? B-but the outlaws are right there!” Cornelius stammered.
“They’re going to jail anyways. Besides we’ve done it in a public park full of kids and parents. I don’t see how this is any worse,” Ash replied.
“But what if the guards come while we’re still doing it?” Cornelius reasoned.
“That’s okay with me; I would love for them to watch. Maybe if were lucky, they might even agree to join us,” Ash answered in a soft voice.
This only made Cornelius blush even harder.
“You really are insane, you know that?” Cornelius said.
“And you’re saying that as if you didn’t love me for it. Ready?”
“Okay,” Cornelius took in a deep nervous breath. “Let’s do it”
Ash walked over to her motorcycle and replaced the CD in the music player. Shortly afterwards, the Caramelldansen speedy cake mix started playing. She returned to Cornelius’s side and joined him in dance as they both waved hooves over their heads as the swayed their hips in time with the music. Copper Hooves Clyde regained conscience as the music sounded and looked in awe at his two captors.
“On the slim chance that any of you have a knife they can use to cut the ropes, just use it to kill me instead. I’d rather be dead than live free knowing that two idiots like this were able to catch me,” Clyde said miserably.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Come on swing your hips singing wha-ah-ah. Look at your two clips, do it la-la-la. You and me, can sing this melody,” Ash mumbled as she shifted from under her blanket.
“Ash? Ash wake up, I’ve got breakfast” Cornelius said as he gently shook Ash awake.
“Hmm... wha’?” She groggily said as she opened her eyes. “Oh, hey Neal, did you get donuts like I ask-?”
She stopped in mid sentence when she saw a pink pony standing behind her best friend.
A pink pony with bandages wrapped around her leg.
A pink pony she shot last night.
At a lost for words, Ash couldn’t help but stare. Pinkie Pie moved Cornelius aside so she could sit down next to Ash. She held out a large éclair with the words “I forgive you for shooting me” written in white frosting on it. After a moment of silence, Ash could only think of one thing to say.
“That’s hilarious.”