Chapter 9 - Preparations
“This,” said Geordi La Forge, “is a photon torpedo.”
Twilight Sparkle looked down at the large, oblong, black object. It was amazing that such a deceptively simple looking thing was capable of such destruction, at least based upon what she’d read about them in the holodeck library and what she’d been told about them just now by the chief engineer. And yet, in this case, the problem was that it actually wasn’t destructive enough.
Long into the night, while everyone else had tried to sleep, Captain Picard, Commander Riker, and Princesses Celestia and Luna had conferred about the Borg threat and what could potentially be done about it. Picard had admitted that his ship’s weaponry was no match for that of a Borg cube and that, unless something could be done to counter this weakness, there would be no way for the Enterprise to stop or even slow down the Borg vessel. One of the ideas Luna had suggested was to attempt to use magic to enhance the weapons on the ship. When told of the plan, Twilight had volunteered to test this possibility to see if it would bear any fruit. This is why the morning found Twilight in the torpedo bay, along with La Forge and Data. If anything came of it, some of Celestia’s magical advisors would be beamed up to the ship to make any changes to the ordnance as directed by Twilight and La Forge.
“From what we have been told,” said Data, “you are going to attempt to infuse some of your magical energy into the torpedo. Even with my recent experiments into such things, I am still unclear as to how this process will work, but I understand that this is how most of your more complex technology operates.”
“That’s true,” said Twilight. “However, there has never been a device as complex as this one on our world. Besides, what we have is designed from the start to be compatible with our magic, so I’m not sure if this will work at all.”
La Forge nodded. “All we can do is try it and see how it turns out. The torpedo isn’t fully armed at the moment, so there should be little chance of it accidentally exploding on us here, but with that said, still be careful with whatever you plan to do.”
Twilight looked more closely at the torpedo. Tentatively, she sent out a field of magic that surrounded the weapon, probing at its insides and simply testing to see what she could find out about it. “You say that the explosion is caused by an interaction between matter and antimatter? I have to admit, that’s very advanced stuff even for me. Only some of the most learned of magical scholars throughout the history of Equestria have even speculated at the possible existence of something like antimatter, and none of them ever managed to create any in order to work with it.”
The chief engineer said, “Well, in this case, the antimatter is only being used as a catalyst, so there isn’t anything too particularly complicated about the operation of the torpedo, aside from the guidance systems perhaps. We fire it, it hits the target, the energy field surrounding the antimatter is disrupted, and boom. The problem is that the Borg cube is capable of easily withstanding multiple matter/antimatter explosions such as this. Many more than we have torpedoes.”
Twilight chewed her lower lip a bit as she let her magic give her an impression of the workings of the torpedo. It wasn’t as incredibly complex as she had expected it to be, but she still had to work a bit to wrap her head around some of the finer details. “Hmm,” she said after a moment, “I suppose I could try to simply infuse the outer casing of the torpedo with magic. It might increase the yield of the explosion. Or maybe I could do something with the energy field holding the antimatter for a similar effect. Perhaps combine the two. I don’t really want to mess with the antimatter itself, though.”
Data nodded. “That is reasonable. If you wish to begin the process now, I will monitor with my tricorder. If there seems to be a risk of the torpedo exploding, I will immediately transport it out into space.”
“I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.” The unicorn took a deep breath and concentrated as she began to increase her magical output. The torpedo was being blanketed in a thick field of purple energy. This process went on for about five minutes.
“I think this will work, Data,” said La Forge. “We won’t know for sure until we test it, but I think this might just do the trick. Don’t ask me how, but I think it will.”
“I’m ready to try enhancing the energy field now,” said Twilight.
“Acknowledged,” said Data, holding his tricorder steady as the magical field being put out changed subtly.
“Whoa, Data,” said Geordi suddenly. “I’m detecting irregularities in the containment field. I think it’s about to collapse! Twilight, stop whatever you’re doing!” The unicorn quickly withdrew her magical field and stepped back, breathing heavily.
“It is too late,” said Data. “Field collapse is imminent. I am jettisoning the torpedo now.” His fingers flew over a nearby console and the torpedo was enveloped in transporter beams. Immediately afterward, the ship rocked violently for a few seconds before finally returning to normal.
The nearby communications panel beeped and the voice of Captain Picard came through. “Mr. La Forge, was that you? We just detected a massive explosion at the edge of transporter range. It appeared to be a photon torpedo detonation, but… the explosive yield was at least eight hundred times greater than even maximum-yield torpedoes.”
La Forge looked back and forth between Data and Twilight and whistled in amazement. He tapped the comm panel and said, “I believe we’re on to something here, Captain. We had to jettison the torpedo due to instability in the antimatter containment field, but we had success with infusing the material components with magic. I believe that if we focus our efforts on that, rather than attempting to enhance the energy field, we will have similar but more controllable results. Sir, I believe that when the Borg finally wake up and decide to visit, we’ll definitely be able to give them something to think about.” He flashed a grin at Twilight and nodded.
“Keep me posted, Mr. La Forge,” said Picard. “And nice work, Miss Sparkle. Picard out.”
Twilight calmed her breathing and said, “I-I’m really sorry about that.”
Geordi shook his head. “No apology is necessary. None of us could have predicted how the torpedo would react to your magic. Based upon the results, I’d say the experiment was highly successful, even if it cost us a torpedo. And now we know not to mess with the energy field, as well.”
“It’s not that,” said Twilight. “I’m sorry because I… I kind of let myself get distracted a bit there. I… well, I didn’t sleep very well last night, for one thing.”
“I imagine that was the case for many,” said Data. “With the Borg threat looming over us, it is only understandable.”
Twilight shook her head. “No, that’s not it. I mean, yeah, this whole thing with the Borg is definitely very scary, but… I had other things on my mind last night as well.”
“Want to talk about it?” asked Geordi, giving her a friendly smile.
Twilight looked at the chief engineer for a moment. “Can I ask you something?” At Geordi’s nod, she took a deep breath and continued. “Would you consider yourself to be friends with Mr. Riker?”
Geordi nodded again and said, “Well… yeah. Sure. We often meet up in Ten Forward during our off-hours, and most of the command staff gets together at least once a week for poker, which includes the Commander. He cleans us out more often than not.”
“Poker?” asked the purple unicorn.
“A game,” said Data, “originating on Earth. It is played with a deck of playing cards. The object of the game is to-”
“Data,” said Geordi, shaking his head slightly.
“Ah, yes. I suppose that the details of the game are not relevant to the conversation,” said the android.
Twilight was beginning to blush. “So… can you tell me anything about him? What’s he like when he’s not on duty?”
Geordi watched the unicorn closely before responding. “Well… as I said, he’s interested in playing poker, for one thing, and he’s very good at it. Let’s see… he plays the trombone. Jazz is his specialty. And he’s pretty athletic. He’s rather good at Parrises squares, and I’ve seen him in Worf’s mok’bara classes on occasion. What else…? Um… he’s in Dr. Crusher’s theater troupe, he plays 3D chess, and he’s a pretty good cook. Oh, and he’s… er… quite popular with the ladies.” His VISOR indicated a marked increase in Twilight’s body temperature as he said the last.
“May I ask you a question?” asked Data of the purple unicorn. “It is of a personal nature so if you decline to answer, I will understand.”
“Er… s-sure,” said Twilight, nervously. “Ask away.”
“Is this line of inquiry related to your infatuation with the Commander in some way?” asked the android.
Twilight’s response to this was for her face to go entirely beet red, her eyes to widen into saucers, and for her jaw to drop. “I… I… how… how did you know?” she finally managed to stammer out.
“Simple observation,” said Data. “I was watching you during your interactions with the Commander during the party two nights ago as well as during the get-together in Ten Forward yesterday evening. Taking into consideration the difference between human and pony behavior and physiology, your conduct then, as now, seems consistent with that of someone experiencing a… crush, I believe it is called.”
“Am I… was I the only one who didn’t immediately recognize this for what it was?” the purple pony muttered to herself miserably.
Geordi winced in sympathy with Twilight. Turning to Data he said, “Data! You can’t just… just blurt out something like that! I’m sorry, Twilight. You’ll have to forgive Data. He’s still a bit… …well… clueless when it comes to topics such as this. No offense intended, Data, but it’s true.”
“None taken, since it is not possible for you to offend me,” said the android. “And… I apologize, Twilight, if I have caused you undue stress with my question and observation. As Geordi says, I am indeed rather ‘clueless’ about this subject.”
“No problem!” said Twilight, a bit too cheerfully. “Apology accepted! I’m sorry I brought it up! Can we talk about something else now?!”
Geordi shook his head and smiled gently. “I have to admit, this sort of thing is a bit outside of my area of expertise as well. The person you really want to talk to is Counselor Troi. Well, and I suppose that you’ll probably want to eventually talk to Commander Riker himself about this at some point as well.”
“I… I…” said Twilight, “er, okay. I’ll talk to Counselor Troi when we’re done here. So, uh… are we done here?”
Geordi shrugged. “Well, we’ve made very good progress, so if you want to continue this later, that’s fine. I think we have enough data to go ahead and get your princess’s people up here. Still, given the circumstances, I was hoping that I could get you to take a look at the phaser array as well. See what kind of magic you could work on it.” He grinned. “It’s a bit weird to say that and literally mean it.”
Twilight nodded. “Okay. I think I’d rather focus on something other than my… um, issue, for the time being. Show me these phasers of yours.”
Worf felt the hairs on his neck stand up and was once again glad he was wearing the protective headgear that covered his ears and shielded his eyes. Less than a second later, yet another targeting dummy standing several yards away from him was absolutely disintegrated as a lightning bolt came crashing down into it. He raised the visor that was covering his face and looked up into the sky. As he had been the first time he’d seen it, he was still amazed at the ability of the pegasi to form and move around clouds as though they were semi-solids rather than the pure water vapor he knew them to be. Several pegasi were doing just that at the moment, in fact. He saw a blue blur flitting back and forth among the clouds and smiled. He lowered the visor again as a voice crackled over the short-range communicator attached to the headgear.
“Good job, Fluttershy!” said the voice. “Okay, you ready down there, Worf?”
“I am ready, Rainbow Dash,” said Worf. He glanced over at the remaining tactical dummies that were standing a moderate distance away from him.
“This time, I’m going to take out all five of them at once,” said the pegasus over the channel. “Here goes!”
Once again, that telltale feeling of hairs standing up all over his body briefly preceded the sudden crack of thunder. As he watched, five simultaneous lightning bolts instantaneously threaded their way to the ground, all of them striking home against the five remaining dummies. The dummies, of course, were utterly obliterated. The smell of ozone filled the air. A few seconds after this, Rainbow Dash herself drifted down from the clouds above and gracefully alighted on the ground in front of him. She was wearing a headset similar to the one Worf was wearing, but without eye protection, since pegasi didn’t need it. Another moment later and Fluttershy joined them from above as well.
“Very good,” said Worf. “Should the Borg send down drones to the planet surface, this should indeed handle them rather effectively, at least for a little while.”
“I still don’t see how anything can adapt to being struck by lightning,” said Dash with a slight frown. “Well, if that is the case, then I guess I’ll have to wait and take out as many as I can all at once before they can adjust. What do you think, ‘Shy?”
Fluttershy had her head lowered and wasn’t meeting their eyes. “I…” she said. “I still don’t feel comfortable about using the weather as a… as a weapon like this.”
Rainbow faced her friend fully and said, “Look, Fluttershy, I know how you feel. But if everything we’ve heard about these Borg jerks is true, it’s going to be us or them. We need to be ready to do what we have to in order to protect those we love, you know?”
“It’s just…” said the yellow pegasus, “I… well, are you sure that there’s no way that we can try to talk to them? To make them see reason and leave us alone?”
Worf sighed, but not unkindly. “Fluttershy, I understand your concern. As much as my warrior’s blood sings to me in anticipation of the upcoming battle, I know that you ponies are not warriors. I realize that this must be difficult for you. Think about it like this. You are one with nature, are you not?”
“Yes,” said Fluttershy, a bit uncertainly. “But…”
“The Borg,” said Worf, “are the exact antithesis to nature. To them, this planet and everything on it, even the living creatures, are nothing more than raw materials to be processed and consumed. Think about how your friend Rarity digs up gems to be used in her fashion design work. This is how the Borg will treat you if they can get their hands on you. The difference between Rarity and the Borg, however, is that her work is for the purpose of creating things of beauty. In fact, I’m sure she appreciates the beauty of the gems themselves as she harvests them. She also doesn’t lay waste to her environment in order to pursue this. The Borg have no use for beauty. To them, beauty is only one of many things that they consider to be irrelevant. When they come, if you do not defend yourself, they will destroy you or, worse, make you part of their Collective. I’ve seen what they do and it is not pleasant. If they succeed here, this world will be reduced to nothing more than massive, gaping, empty craters covering the entire surface of the planet. I don’t mean to be overly harsh with you, but that is the simple truth. The Borg will not be kind, nor will they show mercy. Kindness and mercy are irrelevant.”
Fluttershy’s response was nothing more than a small, fearful squeak, her eyes wide as she regarded the Klingon.
Rainbow Dash looked at her friend with sympathy. “That’s why we have to be ready for them,” said the blue pony. “We can’t let them just come down here and take everything we know. We have to be ready to fight them.”
“I… I… understand,” said Fluttershy finally. “I hate it. I hate the thought of harming anything, but… if I have to, I will do what it takes.”
Rainbow nodded. “Good. So how about we practice making our personal tornadoes again?”
Worf agreed. “Yes, that is a good plan. Even if the Borg’s personal shields can somehow adapt to the energy of a lightning bolt, I still believe that they will find it most difficult to adapt to the concussive force of being lifted hundreds of feet into the air and then dropped.”
Fluttershy nodded slowly. “Okay,” she said. “But you know I don’t have very much wing-power, Dash. Maybe I should focus on helping with the directed flooding?”
Dash looked at Fluttershy appraisingly and then nodded. “Yeah, maybe that’s best. Still, I just want to see you give it one more shot, okay? Do it for me?”
“Okay, I’ll give it another try,” said Fluttershy, with determination.
Worf watched as the two pegasus ponies took to the skies once more.
“Good morning, Pinkie Pie!” said Pony-Q as he inspected the area in which they were to begin training the pink pony. “It was nice of Celestia to cordon off this section of the gardens for our use.”
“I see you brought some friends with you,” said Human-Q. He looked past Pinkie at Applejack and Rarity, who were following closely behind her as she slowly approached the two former Qs.
“We didn’t like the thoughts of leaving her alone with the two of you together,” said Rarity, eyeing the two entities carefully.
“Yeah,” said Applejack. “One Discord was bad enough, but two? Even if ya don’t have yer powers, I still wouldn’t trust ya as far as I could buck ya.”
“Fair enough,” said Human-Q. “The more the merrier. Where are your sisters, if I may ask?”
“The Princesses sent them back to Ponyville on the overnight train,” said Rarity, “along with Scootaloo and Spike.”
“What?” said Pony-Q. “And Jean-Luc didn’t offer to beam them back there? How inconsiderate of him.”
“We didn’t ask him to,” said Applejack, with annoyance. “Ya know we can’t start becomin’ too dependent on them and their fancy doodads.”
Human-Q narrowed his eyes. “Well, for now at least, you’d better get used to being dependent on them. That ship up there is the only thing standing between you and complete assimilation by the Borg. Anyway, I figured you’d have wanted to keep your family close at hand. How will you keep an eye on them if they’re all in Ponyville and you’re here?”
Rarity shook her head and said, “I feel much better with them safe at home, rather than here in the thick of things. After all, they said that this would probably be the first place to be attacked when those monstrosities show up.”
Pony-Q smirked. “Ha! You think Ponyville will be any safer than Canterlot when the Borg arrive? Well, perhaps… but only because the Borg wouldn’t have as much use for such a podunk little town as Ponyville anyway. As such, it probably would be one of the last pieces of this world to be scooped out and dragged up to the Borg ship for processing into fuel. If anything, you did them a disservice by sending them back. At least here, they’d be among the first to go. Back in Ponyville, however, they’ll have to experience the terror of watching the rest of the world torn apart first, knowing that it’s only a small matter of time before it happens to them as well.” He softened the mocking expression on his own face at the looks of horror he saw on the faces of the other ponies. “Sorry, but I’m just telling it like it is.”
“Ya really don’t think we stand a chance here, do ya?” asked Applejack quietly.
“Ordinarily, I would say you don’t have a prayer,” said Human-Q. “In fact, even with the Enterprise up there in orbit, you still wouldn’t have the slightest chance. But we aim to change that here and now.” He looked at Pinkie Pie. “What’s the matter, Pinkie? You haven’t said a word since you got here.”
“I…” said the pink pony, and then took a deep breath. “I just don’t know if I can do this. I know I said I was game and all, but… still…” Pinkie Pie had explained to her friends last night what the Qs had planned. As she had suspected, her friends had thought the Qs were as crazy as she had initially believed. She hadn’t shared with them all of the evidence that had been presented to the contrary, though. She had been somewhat relieved but at the same time somewhat apprehensive when Rarity and Applejack had insisted on coming with her this morning.
“Don’t you worry a pretty pink hair on your head, my dear,” said Pony-Q. “That’s what we’re here for. With our help, you’ll reach your full potential in no time.”
“So let’s begin, shall we?” said Human-Q. “First off, let’s try something that I know you’ve already done in the past, though you may not recall it yourself. Okay, my fine pony self and I are going to run away from you, and I want you to catch us.”
Pinkie nodded. “Okay, that doesn’t sound too hard.”
“Both of us,” said Pony-Q, “at the same time, in different directions.”
“Wait… what?” said Pinkie in confusion. “But…?”
“Readysetgo!” said Pony-Q. At that, both he and Human-Q took off, running away from Pinkie. Each of them went in the exact opposite direction from the other. After galloping for several seconds, Pony-Q slowed to a halt and turned back to look at Pinkie, who was still standing where she’d been when they’d started running.
“What are you waiting for, Pinkie?!” shouted Human-Q. “Come on! Catch us!”
Pinkie Pie looked back and forth between the two Qs. “But… I’m just one pony! How am I supposed to catch you both at the same time?”
“Don’t think about it,” said Pony-Q. “Just do it! Like you did all of that other stuff we talked about last night! Once we convince you that you can do it, we’ll work on the how of it later.”
“But I…” said Pinkie, with much frustration in her voice.
“Come on, already!” said Human-Q. “We’re burning daylight here! The Borg could wake up and be on their way at any time now!”
Starting to get angry, Pinkie Pie decided to go after the human variant of Q. On a sheer whim, she decided that he was the slightly more annoying of the two of them, so he’d be the one she tackled first. With surprising speed, even to her, she caught up to him and launched herself at him. He threw up his arms to try to ward her off, but she barreled into him at full speed and knocked him down.
Human-Q grinned up at her as she straddled him. “Hey now, there’s no need to be quite so frisky.” He rose up onto his elbows and tilted his head to look past her. Raising his voice, he yelled, “Good job, Pinkie Pie! I knew you could do it! We’re off to a great start so far!”
Pinkie Pie’s eyes widened and she jumped off of the human entity beneath her and whirled around. In the distance, at the spot where Pony-Q had been standing but was now lying on the ground, she saw… herself! Another Pinkie Pie was standing there, staring back at her. The shock on the other Pinkie’s face mirrored her own, just as it mirrored that of Rarity and Applejack, both of whom were watching in absolute astonishment. There was a sudden sound not unlike that of a rubber band snapping, and suddenly Pinkie Pie found herself standing back at the point where she had originally started. She looked around and saw that the second Pinkie was gone. And now, she felt the strange sensation of having two sets of memories: one of running after Human-Q and another of going after Pony-Q instead.
“Ooh!” said Pony-Q. “Nice! Teleportation as well! I wasn’t expecting that quite so soon. Then again, I know you’ve already done that before too.”
“Wha… what?” said Pinkie Pie, in a bit of a daze. “I did it? I actually did it?”
“I’m not quite sure what I just saw there, sugar cube,” said Applejack.
“But… it really did look like you just split yourself into two separate ponies and chased them both down, just like they told you to do,” said Rarity. “Astounding…”
“Well,” said Human-Q. “Now that we know for sure that you can teleport, let’s try it again. Okay, you see that apple tree over there? I want you to teleport over to it.”
Pinkie Pie stared at the human. “What? Just like that?” she asked.
“Just like that,” said Pony-Q with a nod. “Again, don’t try to think about it right now. Just do it.”
Pinkie looked at the tree, which had to be at least thirty yards away. She looked back at the Qs, who were just standing there, grinning at her and making annoying shooing motions with their forelimbs. She turned to look at Rarity and Applejack.
“Don’t look at us, darling,” said Rarity. “We have no idea what’s going on here.”
“Probably even less an idea than you do, sugar cube,” said Applejack.
Pinkie turned back to face the tree again. She stared at it. She continued to stare at it. She leaned forward and stared at it as hard as she could. She leaned forward so far that her back legs lifted off the ground and stared so hard that her eyes began to water. And despite that, nothing was happening. She closed her eyes and ground her teeth in frustration. “I told you guys I couldn’t do this!” she said angrily. She opened her eyes again. And then she blinked. The apple tree was directly in front of her nose. She turned around and saw the others standing there, a good thirty or so yards away. Once again, Applejack and Rarity were staring open-mouthed, while the two Qs were dancing some kind of weird little jig together. They soon stopped dancing and beckoned for her to come back. When she started to gallop toward them, they waved their arms to indicate that she stop where she was.
“Don’t run!” yelled Human-Q.
“Teleport!” shouted Pony-Q.
Pinkie sighed deeply. She closed her eyes and did the exact same thing she did before, which, as far as she was concerned, had been absolutely nothing at all. And yet, when she opened her eyes again, there she was, standing right next to her friends.
“If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes…” said Applejack.
“Absolutely amazing…” said Rarity.
“You’re on a roll, Pinkie Pie!” said Human-Q with excitement. “This is going so much better than I could have possibly imagined it would, well at least not with this weak human imagination anyway.”
“All right,” said Pony-Q. “Let’s try something new and different, shall we?”
“What do you want me to try now?” asked Pinkie Pie, a bit hesitantly.
Pony-Q said, “Simple. I want you to try to turn yourself into a human.”
“Ooh, good idea,” said Human-Q. “Transmutation will be useful, definitely.”
Pinkie’s mouth dropped open. “WHAT?! You want me to… what?!”
“I don’t believe I stuttered,” said Pony-Q. “I want you to change into a human.”
“But I…” said Pinkie. “What?”
“I’ll say it again,” said Human-Q. “Don’t. Think. About. It. Just. Do. It.”
Pinkie Pie sighed and closed her eyes. She ground her teeth. As the others watched her, she started visibly shaking with effort. A vein popped out on her forehead.
Human-Q crossed his arms. “I don’t know, my good pony fellow. I think you might have given her too difficult a task this time.”
“I have faith in her,” said Pony-Q. “Just wait for it.”
Applejack and Rarity glanced at one another, and then back at Pinkie again. Their friend looked like she might have a heart attack or a stroke at any moment she was straining herself so hard.
“Um, sugar cube…” said Applejack.
“Maybe you shouldn’t…” said Rarity at the same time.
“I CAN’T DO THIS!” screamed Pinkie Pie. She opened her eyes and looked… down… at her pony friends. All four of them were starting at her, wide-eyed and with mouths hanging open.
“I’ll be damned,” said Human-Q. He coughed into a clenched fist and turned his back on her. “You might want to, um, do something about… that, though…”
“About what?” said Pony-Q. He looked Pinkie up and down. “Oh, right. That.”
Pinkie looked down at herself and gasped in shock. She… she was a human! She’d done it! Somehow! And… not only that… not only had she changed herself into a human, but she had changed herself into a completely naked human as well. She noticed that on both of her flanks (‘Do humans even call them flanks like ponies do?’ she wondered) was her cutie mark. Unlike as a pony, where she was pretty much nude all the time by default and not bothered by it in the slightest, for some reason it now really, really embarrassed her, so she tried to cover herself accordingly with her hands. Hands? She had hands now, instead of hooves! Lyra Heartstrings would have been so jealous if the unicorn could have seen her now. She even had feet now, too! Human feet!
“Augh! Help!” she cried. “I’m naked!”
“Just… give yourself some clothes! And please hurry,” said Human-Q, who was doing his level best to fight the disgusting human urge to just turn around and leer at her.
Still trying to cover herself, Pinkie closed her eyes and ground her teeth again, to the point that tears were flowing down her face, partially due to effort and partially due to embarrassment. After a few seconds, without any warning, she suddenly felt some kind of fabric beneath her fingers (fingers!) where there had been nothing but pale skin (human skin!) before. She opened her eyes again and looked down once more. She was now wearing some pink overalls, the same color as what her coat had been as a pony. They were cut off at around mid-thigh. Underneath the overalls, she was wearing a tee-shirt that was the same color as her mane and tail had been, and was in fact, she noted, the same color as the curly hair on her head was even now. Something on the tee-shirt could be seen poking out of the top of the overalls, so she reached up and pulled the flap of the overalls forward slightly. On the tee-shirt was the image of her cutie mark. On her feet, she was wearing long white socks that rose up to about mid-calf, as well as a pair of light and dark pink sneakers. On her left wrist was some sort of device that was making a ticking sound. She held it up in front of her eyes and saw that it was a clock, except that on the face of it was an image of herself as a pony grinning up at her, and with her two pony forelegs acting as hands for the watch. If she was reading it correctly, it indicated that it was now a little past nine o’clock in the morning.
“Darling,” said Rarity admiringly, “that has to be one of the cutest outfits I’ve ever seen, either on a pony or a human.”
“Okay,” said Pony-Q to his human counterpart. “It’s safe to turn around.”
Human-Q did so and looked at Pinkie. “Oh, that’s much better. Though I have to admit that even now the despicable human pervert inside of me is still very glad that you chose to give yourself rather… um… healthy proportions, let’s say. Ugh.”
Pinkie glared at him. “I didn’t choose anything. This is just how I ended up looking! I don’t know how this is happening at all! I… I…” Her human legs suddenly began to buckle and she collapsed into an awkward sitting position on the ground. “I… I don’t know what’s going on! This… all of this is really, really, really frightening.” Without warning, she was suddenly bawling, tears fountaining out of her human eyes in jets to either side of her human face. Her previously curly hair collapsed into lankiness.
“Oh sugar cube…” muttered Applejack, as she and Rarity rushed forward (ducking under the fountains of tears) to try to comfort the crying human who used to be their happy, laughing pony friend.
Human-Q cupped his hand to his mouth and whispered down to his pony counterpart, “I just have to say… if she looked to you as a pony the same way she looks to me now as a human… well… I apparently have much more self-control as a pony than I do as a human.”
“You have no idea,” replied Pony-Q, also in a whisper. “It’s not nearly as effortless as I’m making it seem, either. Seriously, how do you think I felt when, with no warning at all, I found myself as an actual earth pony, rather than merely the simulacrum of an earth pony, and suddenly in the presence of Princess Celestia? Heck, even Luna…”
Human-Q winced in sympathy. “Ooh, yeah, I can imagine. It’s a bit strange, maybe, but I don’t feel anything for Celestia in this human form. Well, at least what I feel isn’t rooted in anything physical anyway, certainly not like what I’m feeling for Pinkie right now. For what it’s worth, I do still feel the same way for Celestia as I did as a full Q, as I’m sure you do as well. For some strange reason, that lack of a physical attraction to Celestia actually fills me with great relief. I know that humans tend to… um, look down on that kind of thing, in most circles anyway.”
“Well, at least for ponies,” said Pony-Q, “being naked is generally a normal state of affairs and not something outlandishly prurient like it is for humans. So I have at least that much going in my favor, since it seems I inherited the same sensibilities. For instance, I can look at Rarity and Applejack right now and feel nothing at all. Well, okay… nothing much anyway. They are rather lovely young fillies, I have to admit. It would probably be different if they were wearing their Gala dresses or something similar, though. *cough* Anyway, I can only imagine how rough it must have been for you a few minutes ago when Pinkie first changed.”
“Yeah,” said Human-Q, thickly. He swallowed hard, and said, “These humans can be rather vile, disgusting little beasts at times, I have to say. I seem to have picked up some of their worse traits in this body. I do hope I’m not stuck as one for much longer.”
Pony-Q watched as Pinkie continued to wail, while her friends awkwardly and ineffectively tried to cheer her up. “We really need to get her back on her feet,” he said, “both figuratively and literally. She’s no good to anyone in this state.”
Human-Q nodded. “I might have just the thing.” He raised his voice and said, “Hey, Pinkie Pie, time for you next lesson.”
“No!” sobbed the pink-haired human. “I just can’t do this! It’s too hard! I’m trying to turn myself back into a pony right now and I can’t even do that!”
“Well, you’re in a sad state of mind right now,” said Pony-Q. “Of course you can’t do anything like that. You need to cheer up!”
“You leave her alone, you brutes!” said Rarity angrily. “The reason she’s even in this state in the first place is because of you!”
“Us?” said Human-Q. “We haven’t done a thing to her except give her guidance. Everything she’s done this morning has been purely her own doing, using her own power. You saw it yourself. Listen, Pinkie, I really think you’ll like this next exercise. You just need to-”
“Didn’t you hear Rarity?” said Applejack, an edge of menace in her voice. “Leave our friend alone!”
Pony-Q shrugged. “Fine, then. If you want the Borg to destroy this world, it’s no skin off our noses. Come along, my human friend. We’re obviously not wanted here.”
Human-Q nodded. “Okay. I suppose we should go start practicing how to say ‘futile’ and ‘irrelevant’ and all that stuff. I’m sure we’ll be saying it a lot, quite soon.”
The two Qs turned and started walking away. They only got a few steps before Pinkie Pie called out to them. “Wait! I… I’ll give it another shot. I may not like this very much, but… I don’t want my friends to suffer just because I’m a big scaredy pony.” She awkwardly rose to her feet and stood facing them. “What do you want me to do?”
Human-Q smiled at her. “Like I said, I really think you’ll like this one. I have just four words for you: cotton candy chocolate rain.” He staggered backward a few steps when Pinkie Pie suddenly teleported to right in front of him. She’d been close enough that her hair, curly once more, had whipped forward and slapped him in the face.
“Really? You’ll teach me how to make them?! Oh boy!” she said happily, her depression of just a few moments ago apparently completely forgotten. She clasped her hands together and started jumping up and down with excitement.
Human-Q clasped a hand over his heart and tried to catch his breath. “Now I know how Jean-Luc and the others must feel when I suddenly drop in on them. I’ll try to keep that in mind for the future. And Pinkie… um, could you please stop hopping around like that. You’re, uh, really distracting me.”
“Okie dokie lokie,” she said cheerfully, though she continued to bounce on the balls of her feet. “Now tell me how to make those chocolate rain clouds! I can’t wait!”
Pony-Q shook his head and sighed. “Pinkie Pie, I was hoping you would have figured it out on your own by now.”
“Figured what out?” she said, tilting her head to the side.
“That you don’t need us to tell you how to do these things,” said Pony-Q. “Or, rather, we have been telling you how to do them all along. Repeat after me: Don’t think about how to do it. Just do it.”
“Don’t think about how to do it. Just do it,” said Pinkie dutifully.
“Right. Now… do it!” said Pony-Q. “Make us some chocolate rain!”
Human-Q muttered, “Yes, please do. I could use a cold shower right about now.”
Pinkie Pie finally stopped bouncing and closed her eyes, her hands still clasped together. This time, hardly more than a few seconds passed before she felt drops of liquid in her hair. She opened her eyes and looked upward. Sure enough, directly above all of them was a huge pink cloud of cotton candy, from which was falling a torrent of chocolate rain. She grinned broadly, closed her eyes again, spread her arms wide to either side of her, tilted her face up further toward the cloud, and just opened her mouth and let the chocolate milk fill it up.
“Well,” said Applejack, coming up behind her friend along with Rarity. “You certainly seem to be gettin’ the hang of this.”
“Whatever ‘this’ is, anyway,” said Rarity.
A burst of light and sound suddenly surrounded Pinkie Pie, similar to that which was the trademark of a Q, except that this one was pink rather than white, and the sound was similar to that of her party cannon going off. When it faded, the human was gone and the pink pony was standing in her place once again. A bit of confetti floated down to the ground around her.
“You know,” said Pinkie, “I think you’re right. I really am starting to get the hang of this.” She glanced at the Qs and said, “I still don’t know if I’m up to the challenge of taking on the Borg, though.”
“Well, I know that Jean-Luc and the Princesses came up with some plans of their own during the night,” said Pony-Q. “I think we should wait and see how those turn out first, and save you as a last resort when all else fails.”
Human-Q nodded. “Yeah, if nothing else, that’ll give you more time to practice your powers so that when the time comes, you’ll hopefully be ready. It should get easier the more you use them.”
“So what do we do now?” asked Pinkie Pie. “I’m a bit tired, to be honest.”
The Qs looked at one another, and then simultaneously shrugged. “That’s up to you, Pinkie,” said Pony-Q. “You’re the one with the powers now. You can do pretty much whatever you want, for the most part.”
“Well, what say we take a break from all of this, for a little while,” said Rarity.
“Yeah, Pinkie,” said Applejack. “Sounds like ya need to recharge yerself.”
“Let’s go visit the princesses,” said Human-Q. “As I said, I know they’ve got a few surprises cooked up for the Borg, but I want to hear the details.”
“Ooh, I do love surprises,” said Pinkie.
“Counselor Troi can be found in Gymnasium Three,” the computer had told Twilight when she’d asked. Now, she was following the guide lights to that destination. As she walked through the corridors of the Enterprise, she smiled distractedly to various crewmembers as they went past. She could feel their eyes still on her as she walked by them, but it didn’t bother her. She was too busying thinking about what she was going to say to Troi about her little dilemma.
“Gymnasium Three,” announced the computer as she arrived at a door in the hallway that looked like any of the other dozens of doors she’d passed on the way here. The purple unicorn took a couple of deep breaths and then approached the door, which opened obligingly when she drew near. Inside the gym, she did indeed see Counselor Troi, but the Betazoid wasn’t alone. Dr. Crusher and Guinan were also present. All three of them seemed to be doing stretching exercises.
“Hello, Twilight,” said Troi, as the unicorn entered the room.
“Er, if I’m disturbing you,” said Twilight, “this can wait until later.”
“Not at all,” said Troi. “Would you care to join us for a little while? We’re getting ready to do some aerobic exercises, but we can extend the warm up for a little longer if you want to join in.”
Twilight looked at the three humans (well, one human, one half-human/half-Betazoid, and one El-Aurian, anyway) in confusion. “Please pardon me for asking,” she said, “but how can you do exercises at a time like this?”
“A time like what?” asked Guinan. “Is there a better time you’d like to suggest? I’m always open to exercise tips.”
“Well, I mean, with the Borg and all…” said Twilight.
Dr. Crusher shrugged and said, “The Borg aren’t here just yet. We’ll be ready when they come. And in the meantime, I see no reason why we should postpone our daily routines just because of them.”
“So,” said Troi again, “care to join us?”
Twilight blushed and said, “Heh, I’m not very good at this sort of thing. I’m not a very… active pony, most of the time. I tend to spend most of my time just reading.”
“All the more reason to join us,” said Guinan. “Wouldn’t you say?”
“Well,” said Twilight hesitantly, “okay. What do I do?”
“For starters,” said Crusher, “let’s try this.” She demonstrated a simple yoga pose for the unicorn.
Twilight nodded and said, “That doesn’t seem too difficult.” As she attempted the exercise, she asked, “By the way, Doctor, how is Granny Smith? I haven’t seen you since yesterday, and haven’t been back to Ponyville since then either.”
Crusher smiled and said, “She’s in tip top condition once again. Her exact words were ‘fit as a fiddle’ I believe. She is remarkably healthy, considering her age. Hold on there, Twilight, that’s not quite right. Here, you need to balance yourself like so.”
For the next few minutes, Troi, Crusher, and Guinan showed Twilight various stretching exercises and some more yoga poses, which they modified on the fly to accommodate Twilight’s pony frame as needed.
“There,” said Troi, “so how are you feeling now?”
“Pretty good, actually,” said the unicorn. “The only real exercise I tend to get back in Ponyville is when I’m running around with my friends on some adventure or another. Well, and there was the time I came in fifth place during the Running of the Leaves marathon, but that’s about it, I guess.”
“And now that you’re in a better mood than you were when you came through that door,” said Guinan, “perhaps we can help you more easily with your problem.”
Twilight had been in the middle of a somewhat complicated yoga pose (for a beginner anyway) and at Guinan’s words, she froze completely and toppled over. She climbed to her feet and regarded the other three. “Er, you know why I’m here already?”
“You came to speak to me about Commander Riker, right?” said Troi.
“Y-yeah,” said Twilight. “Wait, how many already know about this? Even Data knew about it!”
“Well,” noted Dr. Crusher, “if you’ve been trying to keep your feelings for him a secret, you haven’t been doing a very good job of it. Even in the short time I saw you down on the planet yesterday before I left with Big Macintosh, I could tell.”
Guinan said, “And even though I was mostly distracted by Q at the get together yesterday, I still noticed as well. You sat next to him, you ordered the same food as he did, and you made eyes at him about half the time while studiously avoiding looking at him for the other half. And… well, others have noticed as well. It’s been a rather hot topic of conversation in Ten Forward. The only thing that can travel faster than Warp 10, they say, is juicy gossip.”
Twilight sighed, and hung her head. “This is so embarrassing.”
“I apologize. I’m sure you’d like to discuss this with Deanna in private. Would you like us to leave?” asked Guinan, sharing a glance with Dr. Crusher.
“Oh no,” said Twilight. “I couldn’t ask you to do that. And, well, I think I’d like to talk with all of you about it, actually, if you don’t mind.”
“Sure,” said Crusher, “we don’t mind.”
“So…” said Twilight, blushing even more than before. “About Mr. Riker… I… I really don’t know what to do about this.”
“What is there to do?” asked Troi. “You have a very strong crush on him. That much is obvious, even to non-empaths. I think you already know what your options are.”
“I do?” asked Twilight.
“Well,” said Crusher. “You can talk to him about it.”
“Or you can choose not to,” said Guinan. “Which of those two options do you think would better ease your mind?”
The unicorn sighed. “I can’t keep it to myself forever. I’ll explode. Probably twice. But I don’t know if I’m ready to actually discuss this with him directly. I’d die of embarrassment as soon as I opened my mouth, I’m sure.”
Troi stopped her exercises and stood up straight. Regarding the purple pony carefully, she said, “Twilight, I’m going to ask you a question and I want you to think about this carefully before you respond. What are your overall expectations here? What do you think will happen, in the end, if you do finally work up the courage to speak to Will about this?”
Twilight resumed her previous yoga exercises as she thought about this. After a moment, she sighed and said, “Well… I have to be realistic about it. You guys probably aren’t going to be here for too much longer, even if everything goes well and we stop the Borg. I know that. Assuming he gets his powers back any time soon, Q is going to send you back home again as soon as he gets what he wants, whatever that may be. And… I know that your homes are much too far away to ever visit here again in my lifetime. So, I guess my expectations aren’t really all that high. Besides, while I’m pretty sure he knows how I feel… I mean, everyone else seems to anyway… I don’t have any idea how he might feel about me in return. He’s been super nice to me the whole time, but I don’t know if that’s just out of politeness or… pity or what… Honestly, I think I would have been better off if I’d never felt like this in the first place.” She ended her exercise in a sitting position and just hung her head again.
Troi shared a glance with Crusher and Guinan. “Twilight. Look at me.” When the unicorn finally did so, Troi said, “You can’t help how you feel about someone. There’s nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.”
“Yeah,” said Twilight. “That’s what Rarity and the others said as well.”
“You have very wise friends,” said Guinan, nodding in a sage manner.
The unicorn smiled wanly and nodded. “Yeah, they’re good friends. More than I deserve sometimes. But… anyway, it’s just so… I don’t even know… what if I talk to him about this and… he doesn’t want to be around me any more after that? Then again, maybe that would be for the best, in the end.” Even as she said it, though, the others could tell that the mere thought of such was tearing her up inside.
“You should tell her, Deanna,” said Crusher to Troi. “About you and Will.”
Troi nodded, and then sighed. “Twilight, I can assure you that Will won’t think any worse of you if you confess your feelings. In fact, I know he won’t. Listen, in the past… Will and I were…”
Twilight’s eyes widened. “You mean… you were his special somepony? Er, I mean… someone?”
“More than that,” said Troi. “We were… are… Imzadi.” At Twilight’s confused expression, she explained, “It’s a Betazoid word. It’s rather difficult to translate, even with the universal translators. The simplest, but by no means complete, meaning of the word is ‘beloved.’”
“You said are,” said Twilight. “Does that mean that you still are…?”
“No,” said Troi. “And… yes. You see, even though we are no longer… together… in that way, we are still very close. There have been several women in Will’s life since we were together, and… more than a few men in my life as well. But, regardless of that, Will and I are still very close friends. This is why I can tell you that, no matter what happens, Will Riker will never hate you, since that is what I sense you fear the most. But, with that said, I do know his heart on this issue, and… well, it will be better for him to tell you himself. I just want you to be prepared.”
Twilight sighed. “Yeah… I kind of expected as much. I guess I really should just go and talk to him. The sooner the better, I suppose.” She looked into Troi’s eyes and smiled. ‘Thank you.” She looked at Crusher and Guinan as well. “All of you. This talk has done me a world of good, I think.”
Suddenly, the red alert klaxons began to blare throughout the room. Captain Picard’s voice came over the communications channels, audible to everyone on the ship. “All hands to battle stations! Repeat, all hands to battle stations!”
“The Borg have impeccable timing,” muttered Guinan. She and the others moved toward the door.
“Wait, where should I go?” asked Twilight. “I don’t have a battle station.”
Troi stopped and said, “Well, if you want, we can beam you back down to the surface before they get here.”
Twilight shook her head. “No, actually, I think I’d like to stay here and help, if that’s all right. Princess Celestia’s advisors are already here and infusing the torpedoes based on the earlier tests I did with Mr. La Forge and Data. But we were looking into something with the ship’s phasers as well. Geordi seemed to think it had a lot of promise. I think I’d like to return there and help out with that.”
Troi said, “Okay. That sounds like a plan.” She slapped her combadge and said, “Troi to Phaser Control. Twilight Sparkle will be joining you there, Lt. Johns. I believe she may be able to help out with the upcoming encounter with the Borg.”
“Understood,” said the voice on the other end. “We’ll be expecting her. She was here earlier and her aid will be most appreciated.”
Troi nodded and said, “There you go. Can you find your way back there?”
“I can just ask the computer if I get lost,” said the purple unicorn, ‘but I think I remember the way.” With that, the two of them followed Dr. Crusher and Guinan, the latter two having already departed on the way to their assigned battle stations.