//------------------------------//
// Tour 
// Story: Where Nopony Has Gone Before 
// by Kane Magus 
//------------------------------//


Chapter 6 - Tour


“Come,” Data said, as the door chime to his quarters sounded.  He didn’t look up from what he was doing.  As he worked, he listened to the doors open, footsteps cross the threshold, and then the door swish shut again.  “Hello, Geordi, what can I do for you?”
“Hi, Data,” said Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge.  “I’d heard that you requested time from Captain Picard for a special project, so I thought I’d swing by and see what you’re up to.”
Data paused in his work and said, “I am glad that you are here.  Tell me, what is your opinion of these?”  He held up what it was he had been working on so that Geordi could inspect them.
La Forge looked closely at the items for a moment, and then took them from the android for closer examination.  “Data, are these hands?  Furry green hands?”
“Yes,” said Data.  “While I was on the surface, I was approached by a pony named Lyra Heartstrings, and she had… a most unusual request.  After she learned that I was a constructed being, she asked if I could make her a pair of prosthetic hands similar to my own.  After some consideration, I decided that there would be no harm in agreeing to such a request.”
Geordi continued examining the hands.  “I don’t get it.  Why would this pony want hands, of all things?”
“I am not sure I fully understand the reasoning behind it either,” said Data.  “She claims to be a fan of humans, due to the legends surrounding them in pony culture.  Particularly, as you can see, she is fascinated with hands.”
“Wait… these aren’t just models, are they?” asked La Forge.  “I’m picking up circuitry inside them.  That and they’re made of biosynthetic material.”
“You are correct,” said Data.  “When they are complete, they will be fully functional hands.  They are designed to be attached to the ends of this pony’s hooves and will be powered by her… unicorn magic.  I am not entirely familiar with the process, but I have observed some other examples of pony technology that performs similar functions, so I believe that I have successfully emulated the mechanism here.”
“Unicorn magic,” said Geordi, raising an eyebrow behind his VISOR.  “So it’s true then?  Magic really does exist on this world?”
“It is indeed a form of externally manipulatable energy that is biologically generated within a pony’s body.  All of the ponies possess this power to some extent, although unicorns possess the most direct and obvious manifestations of it,” said Data.  “And not all unicorns are able to wield it to the same degree.  Twilight Sparkle, for instance, seems to be considered by most as a prodigy when it comes to magic.  Rarity, on the other hand, seems to possess little more than the basic telekinesis shared by all unicorns, though she does claim to have a special ability to find gemstones in the ground that others lack.  What is most impressive, however, is the apparent strength of the powers wielded by the rulers of Equestria.”
“How so?” asked La Forge.  He turned the green hands over in his own a couple more times, and then set them back on Data’s workbench.
“We were told by Twilight and her friends that their rulers, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, have the ability to raise and lower the sun and moon, respectively,” said Data.  He picked up one of the hands and began working on it again.
La Forge whistled.  “That’s a pretty bold claim.  Do you think it’s true?”
Data shook his head.  “I cannot be certain.  While on the planet surface, after learning about this power that the ponies have, I began investigating it, and I encountered something interesting.  After returning to the ship, I performed another scan of the planet and the space around it, which confirmed my initial findings.  There is a subtle energy field, similar to that used by the ponies, which surrounds the entire planet.  Or rather, there are two such fields.  I have found that an energy signature of a pony is unique to that pony.  Similarly, the fields that surround the planet indicate the same sort of thing, but on a much grander scale, and it is clear that there are two separate fields at work.  Both of them extend outward from the planet at least as far as the moon, and one of them extends much farther than that, likely reaching as far as the star itself.  The origin point of these two energy fields is centered on the city of Canterlot, which is where the rulers of Equestria reside, so it is reasonable to assume that they are indeed the source of the energy fields.  While I do not believe that they directly control the rising and setting of the sun and moon, I do believe that they have the ability to manipulate the rotation of the planet, such that it would give the appearance of them doing so.  That said, however, the energy fields do extend all the way out to the moon and sun, so it is possible that these creatures do indeed have the ability to directly exert their powers upon them as well.”
“That’s pretty amazing, Data,” said Geordi.  “Do you think there’s any potential danger to the ship, given that we’re inside of those fields?”
“I have insufficient data to answer that question at the moment,” said the android.  He made a few slight modifications to the hand that he was working on and set it down on the table.  “I have completed the bulk of the work on this project.  All that remains is to present them to Lyra when we return to the surface again, and perhaps make a few slight modifications on site.  As such, I have free time until the next duty shift.”
“Well, I’m about to head down to engineering,” said La Forge.  “I’m sure the tour will be coming by there at some point, and I want to be there when they get their first look at the warp engines.  Care to join me?”



In the interests of efficiency, Picard had decided to split the tour up into three separate groups, given the relatively large number of ponies (and one dragon) involved.  And, since they were already present at the time and also were already familiar with the ponies, he chose Riker, Worf, and Troi to lead each group.
Riker’s group consisted of Twilight Sparkle, Spike, Applejack, and Apple Bloom.  They were currently on the bridge, with Twilight sitting at one of the stations that had been temporarily reconfigured as a general access library computer terminal.  The others were gathered around while Riker finished giving a few instructions on how to use it.
“So… this is a ‘computer,’ huh?” said Twilight.  “You know, when you were talking about your library computer at the party, I guess I sort of selectively misheard the ‘computer’ part.  To be honest, I was expecting books.  Lots and lots of books.”
“Heh, that’s our Twilight for you,” said Spike.
“You’re not disappointed are you?” asked Riker.
“No,” said Twilight.  She then blushed and said, “…well, okay, maybe a little bit.  I mean, this is great and all, but it all seems so… impersonal, somehow.  You can’t really curl up with one of these terminals at your leisure, you know.”  She glanced at the others and added, “Besides, I’m sure this must be really boring for you guys, just watching me try to work this thing.”
“Not at all, sugar cube,” said Applejack.
“Actually, it’s pretty amusing watching-” Spike began, but yelped when Applejack not so subtly kicked him in the leg.
Apple Bloom was staring at the screen.  “I can’t say I understand even a little bit of the stuff you’ve been lookin’ up on that thing, though.”
Twilight said, “That’s just it… there’s so much here, I don’t even know where to begin.”  She touched the terminal and flinched back when it spat out a quick low-pitched buzzing sound, indicating an incorrect input.  She ignored Spike’s guffaw and looked down at the offending hoof.  “And there’s the sad fact that these touch pads just aren’t made for pony hooves.”
Riker stroked his beard for a bit.  “Hmm, I have an idea.  Come with me.”  They followed him into the turbolift and, to the computer, he said, “Holodeck Six.”



 “Ah, these must be our friends from the planet below!” said Mr. Mot, as Rarity, Sweetie Belle, Fluttershy, and Counselor Troi entered the ship’s salon.  “What brings you to visit with me this fine day?”
“And you must be the master craftsman I’ve heard about,” said Rarity.  She swept her gaze around the room before focusing in on the blue-skinned Bolian hairdresser.  “Your reputation precedes you, Mr. Mot.”
“All good, I hope?” said Mot with a smile.
“The best,” said Rarity, flashing a smile of her own.  She and Mot started chatting about various generally fashion and grooming related subjects, with Sweetie Belle intently listening in.  Troi and Fluttershy moved away a bit to talk amongst themselves.
“So, what do you think so far?” asked Troi.
“It’s amazing,” said Fluttershy.  “Overwhelming even.”
“But…?” prompted Troi, sensing that there was something Fluttershy was leaving unsaid.  When the yellow pegasus blushed bright pink, Troi knew she’d been right.
“Well…” said Fluttershy hesitantly.  “Please don’t take this the wrong way because I really don’t want to offend anypony, but… it’s just… there are no plants or animals around, at least that I’ve seen so far.  Everything is so… gray.”
Troi smiled.  “I suppose that just means that our next stop on the tour should be the arboretum.”
Fluttershy returned the smile and was about to respond when she was startled by Mr. Mot suddenly speaking from directly behind her.
“And how about you, young lady?” asked Mot.  “Your friend here tells me that you and she often meet for treatments at the spa down on your planet.  Would you care to join her and her sister in seeing how we do things in the Federation?”
Troi and Fluttershy looked past Mot and were surprised to see that in the very short time they’d been chatting, Mot had already managed to get both Rarity and Sweetie Belle into salon chairs, their manes done up in towels, mud on their faces, and cucumber slices over their eyes.
“Oh, do join us, Fluttershy,” said Rarity.  “This mud is simply divine.  Where did you say it was from again, Mr. Mot?”
“Imported from the Parallax colony,” said the Bolian.  “We do have a holodeck simulation of the colony on file which includes their famous mud baths, but the sensation of the mud in a holodeck simply cannot quite compare to the real thing, in my opinion.”
Fluttershy looked uncertainly between Rarity, Mot, and Troi.
Troi smiled again and said, “I’m sure you’ll enjoy it, Fluttershy.  The arboretum will still be there when we’re done here.”  She watched Rarity and Sweetie Belle for a bit and then added, “In fact, I do believe I’ll join you.”



“And this,” said Geordi La Forge, gesturing theatrically, “is the heart of the ship:  the warp drive.”
Worf’s group, which consisted of Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo, and Pinkie Pie, looked in awe at the pulsing blue engines.  Rainbow hopped up on her hind legs and rested her forelegs on the railing surrounding the engines in order to get a slightly closer view.  “So, just how fast can this ship go, anyway?” she asked.
“Are you familiar with the concept of light speed?” asked Data, who had indeed tagged along with Geordi, after putting aside his own personal project.
“I… might have heard Twilight mention something about that, during one of her lectures on star charting,” said Dash, not even turning her head as she gazed into the dilithium crystal chamber.  “Not sure I completely understood all of that stuff though.”
“The speed of light,” explained Data, “is the metric by which warp speed is measured.  Until Zefram Cochrane proved otherwise with his prototype warp drive, light was considered to be the fastest thing in the universe.  As a point of reference, light travels at a velocity of 186,282.397 miles per second.”
This got Rainbow’s attention.  She dropped down from the rail and turned around.  “Are you saying this ship can go that fast?” she said incredulously.
“Much faster,” said Geordi.  “Light speed is merely warp factor 1.  Our maximum safe speed is warp 9.6, though we can go faster than that in a pinch, but not for long.”
“And that means…?” asked Scootaloo.
Data said, “Warp speed increases exponentially.  Warp 2, for example, is 10.08 times faster than the speed of light.  Similarly, warp 9 is 1,516.38 times greater than light speed.  At warp 9, the Enterprise is moving through space at approximately 282,474,901.163 miles per second.”
The jaws of both Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo dropped open.
“Wow, Dashie,” said Pinkie Pie, “that’s even faster than you can go when you’re doing a sonic rainboom.”
Dash turned her head toward the pink pony.  “Pinkie, it’s not in the same ballpark.  Heck, it’s not even in the same galaxy.  The fastest I’ve ever reached, with the help of a sonic rainboom, is around mach 10 or so.  That’s only a little over 2 miles per second.”
It was La Forge’s turn to gape in shock.  “This is under your own power?” he asked in amazement.  “Just you and your wings?”
“That’s right,” said Dash, with more than a hint of pride in her voice.  “Well, a bit of pegasus magic is involved as well, of course, but it’s still pretty much just me.”
“That’s incredible,” said Geordi, marveling at the blue pony.
“Looks like we’re all full of surprises today,” said Pinkie cheerfully.  “That’s great, because I love surprises!”
“I’d sure say so,” said Geordi.  “Well, anyway, that wraps up the tour of engineering.  So, Worf, where are you taking these guys next?”
Worf, who had remained silent and somewhat lost in thought during the explanation of the warp engines, looked at his tour group and said, “I think the only thing we have left is the holodeck.  I know that Commander Riker’s group is currently using Holodeck Six, so we shall go to a different one.  I’m interested in showing Rainbow Dash my calisthenics program, among other things.  After that, we’re all planning to meet up again in Ten Forward.”
“Sounds good,” said Geordi.  “Maybe Data and I will join you in Ten Forward when the tours are complete.  Oh, and Worf… go easy on the calisthenics, okay?  I heard you’ve already had one visit from Dr. Crusher today.”
Worf grunted noncommittally and led his group on the way out of engineering.



The large doors hissed shut behind Riker as he followed the ponies into the holodeck.  The yellow grid lines crisscrossing the room were the only color on the otherwise completely black walls, floor, and ceiling.  “This,” he said, “is the holodeck.”
The ponies and dragon looked around at the sparse room, clearly not very impressed.  Riker smiled knowingly.  Most people weren’t, at first, especially if they’d never heard of a holodeck before or knew what one was capable of.
“So, you wanted a library,” he said, glancing at Twilight, “with lots and lots of books, I believe?”  He grinned at her as she nodded, smiled, blushed, and then looked away from him.  He turned away to spare her any further embarrassment and raised his voice slightly.  “Computer, give me a library.  It needs to be large enough to store all of the Enterprise’s publicly available library computer data, but in physical book form.”
The computer chirped a negative sound effect and said, “Such a program is not feasible.  To recreate all of the library computer data in such a manner would require more memory space than is allotted for holodeck operations.”
Riker nodded.  “Fair enough.  Then create a multi-roomed structure that will theoretically hold all of the required data in book form, but don’t actually manifest the rooms or populate any of them with books until the room in question is about to be physically occupied by one of us.  Sort and label the rooms by category.  For the initial room, make available all data pertaining to the Enterprise itself and its mission log that is accessible by civilians.”
The computer chirped a bit more as it processed the request, then said, “Acknowledged.  Program complete.”
“Start us in that first room,” said Riker.  “Begin program.”  He looked down at the ponies in anticipation as the holodeck began to reconfigure itself.  He was rewarded with gasps of shock and, from Twilight Sparkle, utter delight as the bare black walls gave way to what, impressive even to Riker, had to be one of the largest rooms they had ever seen.  The room was filled wall to wall with wooden bookshelves, which were in turn filled from floor to ceiling with books, the covers of which came in all shapes, sizes and colors.
“This is astonishing,” said Twilight, looking around the room with wide eyes.  “I could spend days… no, make that weeks, in here.  Too bad we only have a few hours.  But… again, there’s just so much, I don’t even know where to start.”
Riker said, “Computer, create a librarian for us.  Human.”  A few seconds later, a small, elderly human woman appeared before the group.  She seemed to be about seventy or eighty years old.  She looked kindly at the group and said, “How can I help you?”
Applejack and Apple Bloom looked at one another in surprise.  “Is it just me,” said Applejack, “or is that lady the very spittin’ image of Granny Smith, except as a human?  What do ya think, Apple Bloom?”
“Not only that, but she kinda sounds like Granny, too,” said Apple Bloom.
Riker raised an eyebrow.  “Interesting.  I can assure you that this is entirely coincidence.  Hmm, perhaps the computer is randomly reading data from medical scans Dr. Crusher made of your grandmother, for some reason.”
Twilight smiled at the librarian and said, “I’d like to see some books that have a general overview of the Enterprise.  What it’s capable of, what its mission is, its history, everything.”
“Right this way,” said the librarian.  She led Twilight down one of the many rows of books, with Spike tagging along behind her.  Soon, they were lost to the sight of the others within the vast room, though Twilight could still be heard chatting with the librarian as they moved away.
“So, is there anything you’d like to see here?” asked Riker, turning to the other two ponies.
“Can this holowhatzit thing make us a farm?” asked Applejack.  “I’d like to see what kind of crops grow on other worlds.”
Riker smiled and said, “Indeed it can.  In fact, I can have it do that right here.”  He turned his eyes upward again and said, “Computer, create a door on the nearest wall that leads to an outside area.  In that area, create a farmland suited to the conditions of growing the most prevalent food crops on various worlds known to the Federation and provide samples of each.  Include Earth, Qo'noS, and Betazed, with other worlds chosen at random from the database.  Don’t include any specimens that are toxic to humans or equines.  Label each section accordingly.  Execute.”  A door appeared on the near facing wall.  Riker moved over to it and opened it.  “After you, ladies,” he said, motioning with a flourish and a smile.
Applejack and Apple Bloom walked through the door and were instantly spellbound by what they saw.  While there were several plants that were familiar to them, such as apple and cherry trees and corn stalks and grapevines and the like, many of the plants were things that they wouldn’t have imagined in their wildest dreams to exist.
“This is so awesome!” said Apple Bloom.  She started bounding up and down the rows, stopping to look briefly at each of the plants.  Turning back to Riker, she asked, “Are they safe to eat?”
Riker nodded and said, “Sure.  Some of them would require cooking or processing before they’d taste very good, of course, but the fruit should be fine.”
Applejack shook her head in amazement.  “Well,” she said, “like Twi and her library there, I think ya just conjured up somethin’ that we could get lost in for a good few hours and not even notice the passage of time at all.”
“Take as much time as you want,” said Riker.  “We still have plenty before the get-together scheduled for later this evening.  If you need me for anything, I’ll be back in the library.  Or you can also ask the computer if you have any questions as well.  Wait, actually, I have a better idea.  Computer, create a human gardener for us.”  The computer chirped for a moment, and then an elderly human male appeared next to Riker, wearing a white shirt, pair of greenish-brown overalls and a straw hat.  Riker stared at the man for a second and then broke into a wide grin.  “Well, I’ll be damned.  The computer must be in a whimsical mood today.  It’s Boothby!”
“Who’s Boothby?” asked Applejack, looking the old man up and down while he returned the scrutiny in silence.
“He’s the groundskeeper at Starfleet Academy,” said Riker, “and one of the wisest men I know.  Just ask him anything you need.  He’ll treat you right.”  He nodded respectfully to the Boothby hologram and started back toward the library.



“I know you’ve been asked this already, Q, but I’m going to ask you once more,” said Guinan.  “Why did you bring us here?  Really?”  The Ten Forward hostess was starting intently at the omnipotent entity, who was sitting at the bar next to Picard.
“You honestly expect me to tell you?” said Q, with a snort.  “Of all the creatures in this universe, you are probably the last one in which I would confide.  Besides, I’ve already explained my reasons to Jean-Luc here.  I don’t see why I should trouble myself with explaining them to his bartender.”  Q turned to Picard and added, “You know, Jean-Luc, my offer to remove this insidious creature from your ship still stands.  You truly can’t begin to fathom the risks you run by keeping her on board.”
Picard met Q’s eyes and narrowed his own.  “Q, I will be frank with you.  I trust Guinan a hell of a lot more than I trust you.  You have been nothing but trouble for us from the first moment you ever stepped foot on this ship.  You claim you have no ulterior motives behind your presence here, now, but I don’t believe that for a single second.  I want to know what you have planned, and I want to know now!”
Q leaned back in his chair and clasped his fingers together.  “And if I told you, would you believe me?  I doubt it.  You just said yourself that you don’t trust me.  Well, I’ll tell you the truth anyway.  I am here to help establish relations between the Federation and this world.  That is all there is to it, Picard, nothing more, and nothing less.  Now that I’ve told you, what are you going to do?  You’re already fulfilling my goals admirably.  Just keep doing what you’re doing now and I will be most satisfied.  It will all work out nicely in the end, I assure you.”
Guinan gritted her teeth in disgust and blew air through thinned lips.  “Same as always, aren’t you Q?  Q is right about you.  You’ve never been a good liar.”
“I am not lying,” said Q, starting to get perturbed, but then, he suddenly became calm again.  In a deceptively cheerful, conversational tone, he said, “You know, I could force you to believe me.  I could meddle with your minds just as easily as I have with these ponies in order to force them to forget my previous encounters with them.  I could have you fawning over me as though I was all of your gods rolled into one.  But I choose not to do that.  Why?  Because I want you to see me for what I really am.  I am telling you the truth.  What more can I say than that?”
Picard crossed his arms.  “But are you telling us the whole truth?”
Q looked back and forth between Picard and Guinan.  “There’s just no winning with you people, is there?  Fine.  Don’t believe me.  You’ll see soon enough that I have no hidden agenda here.  I merely wish to make a connection between your peoples.  Now, as much as I know you’d prefer to keep haranguing me, I suggest you put that aside for now.  The ponies are almost here.”
Q was correct.  Less than a minute later, the doors to Ten Forward opened and the ponies, along with their humanoid tour guides, started coming through.  Along with Worf, Troi, and Riker, Picard saw that Data and La Forge had joined the group as well, along with a few other crewmembers.
As all of the newcomers started to settle in, Picard moved to the center of the room and cleared his throat, then said, “Once again, I would like to welcome all of you to the Enterprise, and more specifically to the Ten Forward lounge.  Your hostess for this evening will be Guinan.”  He nodded in the El-Aurian’s direction, which she returned.  Q was heavily rolling his eyes, but both of them ignored him.  Picard turned back to the assemblage and said, “Servers will be around shortly if you’d like anything to eat or drink.  Rest assured that we have programmed our replicators to be able to handle food that you are familiar with, at least based upon what was served at yesterday’s party down on the planet.  If, however, you’d prefer to try something new, I’m sure my crew would be glad to recommend something, so feel free to order whatever you like.  So, for now, just relax and enjoy.”  He smiled and returned to his seat at the bar.
One of the servers approached the table Worf was sitting at, along with Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo, and Pinkie Pie.  “Can I get you anything?” asked the server.
“Hey, Worf,” said Rainbow Dash, “what was that drink you told me you liked, again?  Some kind of juice, I think it was?”
“Prune juice,” said Worf.  He turned to the server and said, “Two glasses of prune juice, if you please.”
“I want to try it too!” said Scootaloo.
“Make it four,” said Pinkie Pie with a decisive nod.
As the server moved away to get their orders, from the next table over, Geordi La Forge chuckled and said, “Oh no, Worf.  What have you done?”  He was sitting with Data, Ensign Sonya Gomez, and Lieutenant Reginald Barclay.
“What do you mean?” asked Worf, seriously.  “What’s so funny?”
Data looked confused, while the others at his table continued chuckling.  “I am afraid I must concur with Lt. Worf.  I fail to see the humor in this situation.”
Gomez looked at the three ponies with something like pity and said, “Well, let’s just say that prune juice is something of an acquired taste.  And there are sometimes… side effects from drinking it, but… well… that’s definitely not something fit to be talked about at the dinner table, so I’ll stop right there.”  She turned to the server at her own table and said, “I would like a hot chocolate, please.”
“I still do not understand,” said Data.
“Nor do I,” said Worf.  He looked up as the server returned with four glasses of a dark purplish-brown beverage on a tray.  He picked up his glass and drained half of it in a single gulp.  “It is not a problem of mine if your delicate human metabolisms can’t handle a true warrior’s drink.”
Rainbow Dash sniffed the drink and raised an eyebrow.  She picked it up and took a sip of it, her eyes widening as she did so.  She nodded and said, “Hmm, not bad at all.  It’s a bit strong, and the aftertaste is kind of weird, but it’s pretty good overall.  I like it.  It’s not as good as the Apples’ cider though.  Sorry Worf.”
“Fair enough,” said the Klingon, draining his glass and setting it back on the tray.  “The cider is also a fine drink.”  He turned to the server, he said, “Bring us a pitcher of prune juice, please.”
Pinkie Pie picked up her glass and chugged down half of it, similar to how Worf had earlier.  Her face immediately went a bright shade of green and she swallowed it down with a momentarily visible widening of her throat.  She set the glass down and slid it forward on the table and said, “Yeah… no, that’s definitely not for Pinkie.  I think I’ll have a cup of hot chocolate as well.”
Scootaloo looked warily back and forth between Pinkie and her own glass of prune juice.  Pinkie was a pony known to have eaten cupcakes drenched in hot sauce, after all, and if this was something that even she didn’t like… Scootaloo shook her head and decided to take a sip, regardless.  She began to cough and her eyes started to water.  She tried another sip and one of her eyes began bugging out and throbbing.
“So, uh, what do you think, Scoots?” asked Dash, mild concern in her voice.
“It’s… really… good,” said the orange pegasus filly.  She took another sip and squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to swallow it.  Tears formed in the edges of her eyes.
“You know, squirt,” said Dash, looking at her dubiously, “you don’t have to pretend to like it just to try to impress me.  I’ll understand, trust me.”
Scootaloo took another sip and this one seemed to go down slightly more easily.  “No, really,” she said, between gasps.  “It’s not bad at all.  It’s just really, really strong, like you said, but I do like it.  Say, is this sort of like what that hard cider tastes like?”
 “H-how do you know about hard cider?” asked Rainbow, a bit more sharply than she had intended.  She turned to face Scootaloo more fully.
“S-some of the older colts were talking about it at school one day,” said Scootaloo, suddenly nervous due to her idol’s reaction to what she’d said.  “They said it was much better than the normal stuff or even zap apple cider.  They said it made you feel kind of weird, but good.”
Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie shared a glance.  “Listen to me very carefully, Scootaloo,” said Dash.  “I want you to promise me right now that you won’t try to drink that stuff until you’re older.  Much, much older.  Same goes for your friends over there, too.”  She glanced over at the table where Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were sitting, completely oblivious to this conversation.  “You be sure to tell them that.”
“Well… all right,” said Scootaloo, not quite understanding what was going on, but willing to do what Dash said.  “If you say so.”
“I think we’d better have a chat with Cheerilee when we get back to Ponyville, too,” said Pinkie Pie, in a bit more subdued tone than her usual one.  Dash nodded.
Scootaloo looked back and forth between the two older ponies, worry in her eyes.  “D-did I… did I do something wrong?” she asked apprehensively.
“No, you didn’t,” said Dash, gently.  “But if you hear those colts talking about drinking hard cider again, you tell them that it’s not cool at all, and you can tell them that I was the one who said so.  If they don’t believe you, I’ll come and tell them myself.”
After a moment of silence, in which Worf, Geordi and the others watched the ponies, Lt. Barclay coughed and said, “Well, that’s sounds like a potential crisis averted.”
“I’ll say,” muttered Geordi.
“Good on you, Rainbow Dash,” said Gomez, directing a big smile at the blue pony.  “It sounds like you’re a good role model for the youngsters on your world.”
“Yep, that’s me,” said Rainbow Dash proudly.  “I always try to live my life in a way that others can look up to, especially the young ones.”
“Mare Do Well,” Pinkie Pie said, not so subtly coughing into her hoof as spoke.
Rainbow glared at Pinkie for a bit, then grinned sheepishly.  Scratching the back of her head with a front hoof, she said, “Though… sometimes even I can get a bit carried away, all the same.  But… nopony’s perfect all the time.  Right, Pinkamena Diane?”  She looked pointedly at Pinkie Pie as she said the last part.
“Er… right,” said the pink pony, more than a bit embarrassed, but she quickly got over it and reverted back to her normal bubbly self.  “So, are we ready to order the food yet?  I want to try something new!  What can you recommend, Mr. Worf?”
“Oh no,” Geordi groaned, barely above a whisper.  Gomez and Barclay shared another chuckle, while Data merely looked on, as confused as before.
Worf ignored the others and said, “I would recommend zilm’kach.”
Geordi watched Worf for a bit.  “Okay, what is zilm’kach?” he said warily.
Data said, “Zilm’kach is a Klingon fruit.  It is similar to an Earth apricot.”
Worf looked at Geordi and narrowed his eyes in annoyance.  “With all due respect, sir, I am very well aware that our visitors’ diets are vegetarian in nature.  Did you perhaps expect me to recommend something like racht or heart of targ or rokeg blood pie?”  Turning back to the ponies, he said, “I would recommend gladst as well.  I’m told that it’s similar to seaweed on Earth.  I don’t know if you have a similar dish in Equestria or not, but I enjoy it.”
La Forge smiled and said, “I’m sorry, Worf.  I shouldn’t have doubted you.  In fact, by way of apology, I believe I’ll try some zilm’kach and gladst myself.”
“I accept your apology,” said Worf, with a nod.  “You won’t be disappointed.”
“That’s what I’ll have too, then,” said Gomez.
“Same here,” said Barclay.
“When in Rome,” Data said, to the surprised amusement of his colleagues.
Pinkie Pie nodded and said, “Well, that settles it.  Zilm’kach and gladst all around.  Wow, that’s pretty hard to say.”  The conversation settled down a bit as the food was delivered to them.
Meanwhile, a larger table nearby was being shared by Twilight Sparkle, Spike, Applejack, Apple Bloom, Rarity, Sweetie Belle, Fluttershy, Riker, and Troi.  All of them, except for Spike, had various vegetarian concoctions in front of them.  Twilight, at the recommendation of Riker, was trying a Caesar salad.
“This is very good,” she said, after swallowing a mouthful of romaine lettuce.  “And it’s also something we can easily make back in Ponyville as well.  Thanks for recommending it!”  She looked up at Riker briefly, then blushed and turned her face back down to her salad.
Troi smiled at Riker, with an eyebrow raised slightly.  He gave her a mild look that said “Don’t you dare…” before turning his eyes to his own salad.  She glanced at Rarity and noticed that the white unicorn was also looking subtly back and forth between Twilight and Riker, with a speculative look in her eye.  The white unicorn’s eyes briefly met Troi’s and they both smiled knowingly to one another.
“Same here with this bean burrito,” said Applejack.  She took a big bite out of the black bean and lemon cilantro rice burrito, loaded with guacamole, and looked down at Apple Bloom, who was eating the same thing.  “We’re definitely gonna need the recipe for these babies before we head back down.”  Apple Bloom nodded enthusiastically, her mouth completely stuffed.
Rarity and Sweetie Belle were sharing a large bowl of mushroom pasta between them, which they seemed to be greatly enjoying.  Fluttershy was delicately picking at a salad identical to the ones Twilight and Riker were eating.  Troi was eating a bowl of Bolian tomato soup, based on an earlier recommendation by Mr. Mot during their time in the salon.  As for Spike, he had a large bowl of mostly diamonds in front of him.  The dragon and ponies had all been amazed to learn that gemstones were no longer rare in Federation society, since they could be easily replicated just as almost anything else could be.  Even something as valuable and highly sought after in Equestria as diamonds was common place here, which is why Spike had loaded his plate with those, since he rarely got to eat them back home.  The dragon was quite pleased with his meal.
Riker found his eyes continually returning to the bar, where Guinan, Picard, and Q were still sitting.  More than once, he’d observed Picard or Guinan gesticulating harshly, in response to which Q would just role his eyes or smile in a blasé manner or sometimes both of those things at the same time.  Turning to Troi, he said, “I can’t help but wish that I were a fly under the bar there.”
“I’m not sure you would enjoy it,” said Troi.  “The Captain is very frustrated.  Even Guinan seems unusually tense.”
Riker shook his head.  “I wouldn’t necessarily say ‘unusually’ in this case.  That is Q they’re talking to, after all.  You remember how the two of them have interacted with one another in the past, don’t you?”
Troi turned her eyes away from the bar and back to Riker.  “As I recall, during his brief time as a full human, she stabbed him in the hand with a fork.”
Rarity raised an eyebrow at this.  “This Q… entity certainly seems to bring out the worst.  Is there anything you can tell us about him?  Given that he is apparently the reason that we’ve all been brought together like this, it would be nice to know what we’re dealing with here.”
Riker shook his head and sighed.  “I wish I could.  The truth is that we don’t know very much about him ourselves.  Even though I was once briefly given the power of the Q myself, I still can’t rightly describe to you what it was like.  He’s essentially omnipotent and can do whatever he wants.  That’s the long and short of it.  And lately, it seems as though all he wants to do is toy with us.”
“I was reading about him in the library you made for me on the holodeck,” said Twilight.  “It was in a book about your first mission as a crew.  It said something about how Q put you on trial?  What was that all about?”
Riker turned to Troi and said, “Since I wasn’t present at the time, perhaps you can answer this one.”
Troi thought back to that time and shivered.  “It was a farce is what it was.  He put us on trial for the crimes of all of humanity up to that point, and the court he chose for the trial was a mockery of justice of the worst sort.  When Lt. Yar spoke up against him, he… he froze her solid.”  She paused to let the gasps from around the table die down.  “Fortunately, he returned her to normal shortly afterward, but still… It was only after the Captain petitioned Q to test us so that we could prove to him that we were no longer the savages that he accused us of being that the horrible trial ended and he returned us to the ship.”  She glanced over at Q.  “I fear that the tests didn’t end with Farpoint Station, however.  I believe that he is still testing us, to this day, and the situation here is merely another extension of that, though to what end I can’t begin to guess.”
“One moment, he’s sending pig-like alien soldiers wearing ancient Earth military garb after us, and another moment he has us all in Sherwood Forest, reenacting the old Earth tale of Robin Hood,” said Riker.  “Everything we have seen about Q shows that he is an unpredictable, chaotic being.”
Twilight’s brow was furrowed.  “I still can’t figure out why, but what you just said, about him being a chaotic being, sounds extremely familiar to me.”
Applejack frowned and said, “Come to think of it, there’s somethin’ tinglin’ at the edges of my memory as well.  Somethin’ I feel like I should be rememberin’ but can’t.”
“It is the same with me as well,” said Rarity.  “It is as though we, ourselves, have indeed encountered this creature before.  Or, at least, one that is very similar in nature to him.  I can’t recall anything about it, however.  It’s like there’s a hole in my mind where those memories should be.”
“Yes, I feel the same way,” said Fluttershy.  “I don’t remember anything in particular, but I can’t help but feel really frightened for some reason when I think about it, like something really bad happened.”
Everyone involuntarily jumped when Q suddenly appeared at the table with them, with his signature burst of light and sound.  Riker looked quickly back at Picard and Guinan, both of whom were staring after Q as though he had left mid-conversation, which Riker assumed is exactly what had happened.
“Enjoying this little get-together, everypony?” said the entity cheerfully, clapping his hands together.  “I hope you have, because it’s almost time to beam back down to the surface.  It is getting rather late, wouldn’t you say?”
“That’s not your call to make, Q,” said Picard, coming up from behind him.
Riker glared at Q.  “You knew we were talking about you.  Talking about how you have apparently done something to these ponies that you’re currently blocking out of their minds.  And despite your admonitions earlier that you wanted us to talk about something of actual substance, this particular topic clearly seems to be one that you don’t want us to be discussing.”
“Psh, you’re speaking nonsense, Riker,” said Q dismissively.
“Oh no, Q,” said Picard.  “Not this time.  You said yourself last night that you had been to this planet before.  And you just admitted to Guinan and me that you are indeed actively blocking their memories of that visit.”
“I believe I also said that the whole thing was none of your damned business, didn’t I?” said Q, in a pleasant tone of voice that nonetheless did little to conceal the underlying hint of menace.
“Q, whatever you have done to these ponies, I want you to undo it, immediately!” Picard thundered.
“Ha!  Really, Jean-Luc?  You’re actually trying to order me around?” asked Q, genuinely amused.  “You act as if you have any sort of authority over me at all.”  His voice took on a very mocking tone as he added, “Or power.”
“Maybe I don’t,” admitted Picard, “but you do recall what happened to you the last time you stepped over the line, do you not?  The Q Continuum stripped you of your powers and forced you to live among us as a human.”
“And now you’re resorting to vacuous threats.  Bah,” said Q.  “I thought you above such pettiness, Jean-Luc.  Besides, the Continuum has done far worse to me in the past.”  His gaze swept across all of the ponies as he said this.  “But who is to say I’m stepping over the line here?  You?  Ha.  Here and now, the Continuum has no cause to censure me at all.  Therefore, no, I won’t be returning their memories to them just yet.  Perhaps in time I will, after my plans have come to fruition and it no longer matters.”
“Ah, so, you do have an agenda that you’re not telling us about?” asked Troi.
“And here we go with the baseless conspiracy theories again,” said Q, throwing his hands up in annoyance.  “As I’ve already said more times than I care to count, all of my cards are on the table.  When I say that I want nothing more than to establish a connection between this world and Earth, I mean exactly that.  And you all are doing a splendid job of helping me to achieve my goal.  Keep up the good work!”  With a wave of his hand, Q disappeared in another burst of light and sound.
The silence that followed his departure was quite lengthy, broken only when Pinkie Pie loudly called out from the other nearby table, “Well, that was certainly a mood killer, wasn’t it?”



Once again in the cargo bay, Picard and Riker were conferring with Twilight Sparkle while the others were getting themselves situated for the transport down to the planet surface. 
“We know that whatever it is that Q wants, it seems to hinge upon us establishing relations with one another,” said Picard.  “Do either of you have any suggestions as to why that may be?”
Twilight shook her head.  “I really can’t think of any reason why an omnipotent entity would or even could gain anything from this that he didn’t already have or that he couldn’t make happen with his own power.”
“Nor I,” said Riker.  “This just doesn’t make any sense at all.”
Picard nodded.  “Any suggestions on how we should proceed?”
Riker looked around the room at the other ponies and said, “Well, I hate to suggest this, but we could attempt to deny Q what he wants.  Assuming he doesn’t just use his powers to force the issue anyway, of course.”
“What do you mean, Number One?” asked Picard.
“Back when this all began, Q gave us two choices,” said Riker.  “He told us that we could either beam down and meet with the citizens of this planet… or we could remain locked in orbit above the world for the rest of our days.  Perhaps we could exercise that choice.  If we break contact with the planet altogether, it may disrupt whatever Q has planned, even if it means that we’d be stuck here forever.”
Twilight felt like she’d been bucked in the gut, and she looked up at Riker with obvious hurt that he would say such a thing.  Picard seemed oblivious, but Riker studiously avoided her gaze.  “I don’t think…” she began, then took a deep breath and started again.  “I mean, is that really the best course of action?  Though my friends and I may feel that whatever he did to us was something awful, even though we can’t recall it now, we can’t be certain that that’s the case, can we?  It could be that he wants us to think that way, for some reason.  Or it could just be that we’re overreacting simply because we don’t know what he did in the past.  Who knows for sure if what he is planning really is something bad?  While it’s certainly in your hands as to whether or not you end all contact with us, I… I would prefer that you not choose to exercise that option.  Even if it’s playing into his hands, I would think that the good that could come of it still outweighs the bad, don’t you?”
Picard nodded.  “She does have a point.  As round about as they may have been, Q’s actions have indeed aided us in the past, in some cases.  Take our first encounter with the Borg, for instance.  While it is certainly regrettable that Q’s actions indirectly cost us the lives of eighteen crew members during that encounter, it ultimately did give us advance warning of the Borg threat.  Without that, the losses we incurred when the Borg finally did arrive in Federation space could have been even more catastrophic than they were.  So, yes, it is entirely possible that Q may indeed have our best interests in mind here, in his own twisted way.  I cannot deny the possibility.”
Riker looked down at Twilight and smiled.  “I agree.  It was a suggestion that I didn’t relish the thought of acting upon either, for more reasons than one, but we have to get all of our options out in the open.  That said, sir, I can’t think of any better suggestion aside from to simply stay the course.  We can’t let our apprehensions about what Q may or may not be planning get in the way of how we do business.  I think we should continue to act as we have been.  Besides, as I said, if Q really does have something planned, I doubt that there is much we could do to stop him from carrying out those plans, even if we did try to thwart him.  In other words, I don’t believe we should break contact with our new friends here.”
Twilight flushed with relief at this.  At the same time, she chided herself for it.  She still didn’t understand what she was feeling or why, but for some reason, the possibility of never again seeing their new friends on the ship, particularly Will Riker, had filled her with something akin to panic.  She glanced around at the other ponies and noticed Rarity was looking at her intently.  When she made eye contact with the white unicorn, Rarity shifted her eyes to Riker for the briefest of seconds, then back to her and then smiled knowingly.  Twilight was utterly confused by this.  She smiled uncertainly in return.  She turned back to Picard when he started speaking again.
“I agree entirely, Number One,” said the Captain.  “We can’t start second guessing ourselves based upon what we think Q might be planning.  We need to simply remain as we are and do what we would have done normally… well, within the constraints of ‘normal’ as Q has imposed them upon us, anyway.  If and when Q springs whatever trap he has for us, assuming there is one, then we’ll adapt to it then as best we can.”  He raised his voice slightly to address all of the ponies, who by now were all standing on the transporter pads, except for Twilight.  “Commander Riker will be beaming down with you temporarily, just to make sure the transport goes smoothly and that everyone arrives home safely.  If there are any further issues that arise on the surface, let him know.”  As Riker and Twilight took their places on the transporter pads, Picard turned to the transporter console and said, “Chief O’Brien, are we ready?”
Miles O’Brien nodded and said, “Indeed we are, sir.  Coordinates are set for the open area just in front of the confectionary shop.  Ready to energize on your mark.”
Picard turned back to the group.  He nodded and said, “Very well.  Energize.”
As soon as O’Brien swept his hand up the transporter panel, Q suddenly appeared in the room.  Just as the transporter beams began to take effect, he ran forward and leapt into the beams himself.
“Q!  What the devil are you doing?!” shouted Picard, but it was too late.  Picard turned to O’Brien, and said, “Chief, what’s happening?  Has Q’s interference affected the transport at all?”
O’Brien worked the controls swiftly, and said, “Yes it has, sir.  The beam down coordinates have been reconfigured.  The new destination seems to be somewhere a few dozen miles to the north and east.”
Picard said, “I believe that’s the location of the capital city that Q pointed out to us.  Chief, bring them back up.”
“I’m trying, sir,” said O’Brien.  “But something is locking out the controls.  Transport is complete, sir, and I can’t regain a lock on them.  Even Commander Riker’s combadge is being jammed.”
“Dammit, Q,” Picard muttered to himself.  “What the hell are you planning?”
“I told you, Jean-Luc,” said Q, who was suddenly standing behind Picard once again.  “You’ll just have to wait and see.”  Picard turned and glared into his grinning face, wanting for all the world to knock that smug look off of it.