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// Party Crasher 
// Story: Where Nopony Has Gone Before 
// by Kane Magus 
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Chapter 4 – Party Crasher


“Um, excuse me.”
Data had been using his tricorder to scan one of the columns that appeared to be made out of an actual giant candy cane, but when he heard the voice speaking, he stowed the device and turned around.  Standing before him was the green unicorn from earlier who had fainted when she saw the away team.  He accessed his memory banks and recalled that the Mayor had called this pony Lyra.
“May I help you?” he asked politely.
“Uh, I don’t want to bother you if you’re busy,” she said hesitantly.  “But I have, like, a million questions to ask you.  My name is Lyra Heartstrings.  I heard that your name is Data, right?”
“That is correct.  I am not currently busy at all.  However, with that said, I am not sure if we have enough time for a million enquiries, but I will endeavor to answer as many as I am able,” said Data.  At Lyra’s slight chuckle, he tilted his head.  “Did I say something amusing?”
“Oh, I’m sorry.  It’s just that I didn’t mean I literally had a million questions,” said the unicorn.  “It’s just an expression.  But I do have quite a few, all the same.”
Data stared ahead blankly for a fraction of a second, then nodded.  “Ah.  I understand.  Well, I shall answer what I can.”
“Okay,” said Lyra.  She paused, and then bowed her head.  “Come on, Lyra, you can do this,” she muttered to herself.  She shifted her eyes over to Bon Bon, who was sitting at a nearby table and smiling at her encouragingly.  Lyra nodded her head and looked up at Data again.  “Okay.  So, um, what’s it like?  You know, what’s it like to have… hands?”
Data tilted his head.  “What an intriguing question.  I have never truly considered the matter to any great extent until now.”
“I’ve read all the stories about humans and there’s just something about your… your hands that fascinates me,” said Lyra.  “I just wanted to know what it’s like.”
Data considered briefly, then said, “Allow me to answer your question with a question of my own.  What is it like to have hooves, or a tail, or a unicorn horn?  I have noticed that unicorns are able to telekinetically lift and move objects with a force of an unknown nature.  I find that to be very fascinating.”
“Our magic?” said Lyra.  “Well, it’s… er… you know, I’ve never really thought about it before.  It’s just something that comes naturally.”
“Then you understand my dilemma when it comes to describing what the experience of having hands is like,” said Data.  “I have possessed them ever since I was first activated.”
Lyra raised an eyebrow.  “Activated?  What do you mean?”
“I am an android,” said Data.  “A humanoid machine.  I was constructed by a human named Noonian Soong, who made me in his likeness.”
The unicorn’s eyes widened even more.  “Wait… you were built?  Including your hands, right?”
Data nodded.  “That is correct.”
Lyra looked at Data’s hands and said, “Um… in that case, do you think it would be possible for me to… get some artificial hands as well?”  She was blushing furiously.
Data opened his mouth, and then closed it again.  Even though his brain was capable of working at sixty trillion operations per second, he was still finding himself at a complete loss to come up with an appropriate response to this question.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, Worf was standing in a corner, somewhat apart from everyone else.  He cradled a tankard of cider in his hands, occasionally lifting it up to take a swallow from it.  He’d tried… mingling… but found that the ponies tended to shy away from his gruff manner, even though he’d tried his absolute best to be as friendly as he possibly could.  For some reason, though, he felt like the extra effort had just made them even more afraid of him.  It was just as well.  He looked over at Counselor Troi, who was completely surrounded at the moment.  Those three younger ponies from before, as well as the small dragon, the fashion unicorn, and that incredibly meek pegasus were among the throng that was encircling Troi.  Despite being so closed in, she seemed to be greatly enjoying herself.  Worf wished that he had her sense of calm in situations such as this.  He would have given almost anything to be fighting a dozen Nausicaan warriors with a bat’leth in his hands, instead of being here.
“Hey,” said a voice from his right.  Worf turned his head and saw the blue pegasus pony with the rainbow colored hair.  He recalled that her name was Rainbow Dash, appropriately enough.
“Yes?” said Worf.
“Well, I couldn’t help but overhear when you were talking to Mr. Riker earlier,” said Rainbow Dash.  “I believe you said that you were a… a Klingon warrior?”
Worf nodded.  “Yes, that is correct.  My people are called Klingons.  We are a race of warriors.”
“So I guess you do a lot of fighting where you come from?” said the blue pony.
“I serve in Starfleet, rather than on a Klingon warship, so there isn’t as much fighting as a Klingon warrior would normally encounter, but even so, yes, I have seen my share of combat on the Enterprise, given my role as the chief of security,” said Worf.
“I bet this sort of thing is probably incredibly boring for you, huh,” said Dash while slowly scanning the room with her eyes.  “Normally, Pinkie’s parties are way cooler than this, but this one is pretty lame.  I mean, don’t get me wrong or anything.  It’s totally awesome to meet you and your friends and all… it’s just that, well, it’s mostly just been a whole bunch of standing around and talking, you know?  Heh… kind of like what we’re doing now, huh?”
Worf grunted.  “Yes, I have to agree.  I have never been one for… social functions such as this.”
A somewhat awkward silence hung in the air for a few moments, and then Rainbow asked, “So how do you like the cider?  Pretty amazing, isn’t it?”  She was holding another full tankard of cider in one of her front hooves.  Worf had no clue how these ponies were able to hold things in their hooves like that, even with the handles on the tankards in this case, but decided not to pursue the matter.  At any rate, this was at least the fourth or fifth such tankard that he’d seen the blue pony ingest since her first one from earlier.  It was probably a very good thing that it wasn’t alcoholic.  With that said, however, Worf would have preferred something with more kick to it, like chech'tluth.
“It is very nice,” said Worf, taking another swig of his own.  “A fine warrior’s drink, though I think I still prefer prune juice overall.”
“Prune juice?” asked Rainbow.  “Huh.  I don’t think I’ve ever had that before.  I’ll have to give it a try.”  She lowered her eyes a moment, as if deliberating something, then looked up again.  “So… how about we spar sometime?”
“Excuse me?” said Worf, raising an eyebrow.  “What do you mean?”
“Listen,” said the blue pegasus, suddenly cutting loose with a torrent of words, as though this was something she had been holding in for a long time.  “I have a black belt in karate, but I never have anypony to practice with around here.  I tried to teach Apple Bloom at one point, but she didn’t take to it at all.  Maybe I could get Scootaloo interested, but I haven’t had a good opportunity to mention it to her yet.  Rarity, surprisingly, is no slouch, but she’s just not into it enough to want to spar with me.  Applejack can brawl with the best of them, but she has no formal training and isn’t interested in taking any either, since she’s usually too busy on the farm.  As for Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, or Fluttershy, man, forget about it.  I mean, sure, I’ve seen what Fluttershy can do to a full-grown freaking bear when she’s practicing her chiropractics, but does she want to try to turn that into actual self defense?  Not a chance.  I used to train with my friend, Gilda, but… well… I haven’t seen her at all for a couple of years now, and… it’ll probably be a while before I see her again… if ever.”  Dash looked more than just a little wistful as she said that last part.  “Anyway, I just want somepony to spar with, that’s all.  It’s kind of frustrating, you know?  And I figured that you being a warrior and all, you might be up for a little sparring match.”
Worf had been listening politely, but then tilted his head as something she’d said struck him as odd.  “Wait a moment.  Back at the beginning, did you say karate?  That is a form of fighting that originated on Earth a thousand years ago.  How is it possible that you are familiar with it?”
Rainbow Dash copied Worf’s head tilt.  “On Earth?  How can that be?  As far as I know, ponies have known about it for around the same amount of time.”
“Yes, this is something we were discussing earlier,” Worf said.  “Apparently, it seems to be the case that there has been some sort of contact between Earth and this planet at some point in the past.  But, again, I don’t understand how that can be possible.”
Rainbow shook her head and groaned.  “Ugh, this is starting to give me a headache.  This sort of thing is way more up Twilight’s alley than it is mine.  I’ve read a few of the stories about humans and how they came from the other side of the rainbow or something like that, and they’re cool and all, but I don’t know much about the details of it.  All I know is that I know karate and I’m itching to put my skills to the test against somepony like you, if you’re willing.”
Worf smiled.  Maybe some of these ponies weren’t so bad after all.  “It’s getting late today, but how about tomorrow morning?  It would be an honor to face you.”
“Radical!” said Rainbow Dash.  “Let’s go ask Applejack if we can borrow one of her fallow fields.  My dojo, sadly, is closed for repairs at the moment, after… er, an unfortunate accident that I don’t care to go into.”
“Very well,” said Worf.  “Let’s go ask her.”
Meanwhile, in yet another section of the room, Riker was busy chatting with Twilight Sparkle.  Despite her earlier declaration to not occupy the away team all night, the purple unicorn had still found herself gravitating back to Riker’s presence.  She had found that if she kept herself from looking directly at him for any length of time, the strange burning in her cheeks, not to mention the rest of her, wasn’t nearly as bad.  But at the same time, she found it increasingly difficult to prevent herself from looking at him, all the same, nor did she really want to.
“So there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you about,” said Twilight.  “How is it that we’re able to understand one another so easily?  If you were to visit some of the areas outside of Equestria, you’d find creatures that speak vastly different languages than what we speak here, so I can’t imagine that we, being from entirely separate planets, just happen to speak the same language.  The odds against such a thing are incredible.”
Riker smiled and pointed to his combadge.  “It’s thanks to this.  We have something called the universal translator.  It can decipher spoken language on the fly and render it in a form that is understandable to the listener.  And, likewise, my speech is translated into a form that you will understand.”
Twilight’s eyes went wide.  “That tiny thing is capable of so much?  Even the translation magic we have here in Equestria isn’t quite so immediate.  And it’s all in that little badge?”  When she realized that she was staring at the badge, and thus staring at his chest, her face went bright red again and she averted her eyes once more.  She had no idea what was making her feel this way, and it was incredibly frustrating.
“To be fair,” said Riker, “while there is a basic translation program installed in all combadges, it’s really the library computer on the Enterprise to which they’re all linked that does the bulk of the work.”
“D-did you say… library…?” said Twilight, her eyes lighting up.  She suddenly looked like a kid in a candy store.
“Indeed I did,” said Riker, grinning at her reaction.  “The library computer on the Enterprise is a vast store of information on pretty much every aspect of life in the Federation and most of our neighbors.  Scientific data, history, the arts, entertainment, you name it.”
Twilight was smiling from ear to ear.  “Oh, you can’t possibly know just how much it would mean to me to be able to look through your library.”
Riker nodded.  “Perhaps I can convince Captain Picard to let you take a look.”  With a wink, he added, “Along with a tour of the ship, of course.  It’s only fair that we return the favor, after all, given all of the hospitality we’ve received here.”
“Wow!” said Twilight excitedly.  “I so very much look forward to it.”  She took a moment to calm herself down a bit.  She realized that during the past few exchanges, she had somehow managed to actually look him in the eyes without that strange heat immediately filling up her face.  As soon as she made this realization, however, it brought the heat back with a vengeance, and she averted her eyes again.  While looking down at the table with frustration that she tried her absolute best to hide from him, she said, “So, this is what it’s like for you all the time, huh?  You sail around in your starship and find new planets to explore and people to meet?  It sounds like an amazing life.”  She risked another glance up at him again at the end.
Riker’s smile dimmed slightly, and he said, “Well, I have to be honest with you.  The situation here is somewhat… unique.  Normally, we wouldn’t make contact with a new culture right away.  There’s usually months, perhaps even years, worth of planning that goes into a potential first contact scenario before anyone ever actually sets foot on the surface of a newfound planet.  And sometimes, we simply decide it would be in the best interests of the new culture in question if we didn’t… contaminate it with our presence, before they’re ready.  It is what we call our Prime Directive.  We feel that it isn’t right for us to just barge in on a still developing civilization and pollute their natural progress with our presence before they are ready.  To be perfectly candid, since your society hasn’t developed space travel yet, which is one of the main criteria we use to determine whether or not a first contact should take place, we almost assuredly would have left your world alone had we come across it via normal exploration.”
“Well, I have to say that I’m really glad you didn’t ignore us, in this case,” said Twilight, smiling through the burning in her cheeks.  “But what did you mean when you said that the circumstances were unique?”
“Hmm, how should I put this…?” said Riker, already beginning to regret steering the conversation in this direction.
“What he means, my dear Twilight Sparkle,” said an overly loud and, to Riker’s ears, overly obnoxious voice from directly behind Twilight, “is that they are here all thanks to me.”
At the sound of that loud voice (which, Riker noted, was no longer being disguised as it had been before), the party essentially ground to a complete halt.  Riker watched as Twilight’s pupils narrowed to pinpricks and her jaw dropped.  It was as though she were experiencing something much more acute than simple surprise at a new voice unexpectedly joining the conversation.  No, if his short time on this planet had made him any judge of pony expressions at all (and he’d definitely noticed some rather… interesting ones on Twilight’s face through the course of the night), she was currently exhibiting abject horror.  Out of the corner of his eye, Riker noticed Troi suddenly jerk her head around in their direction, and then look around at the other ponies, all of whom seemed to be expressing similar emotions.  He also noted that Worf and Data were already starting to move toward them as well, since the voice had been loud enough that everyone in the room had heard it.
Twilight Sparkle turned around as quickly as she could, expecting the absolute worst, and saw… something completely different from what she had been expecting.  Standing before her was a burgundy earth pony, with brown mane and tail.  Most peculiarly, his cutie mark was the same symbol that the Enterprise crew was wearing, that very badge that Riker had just been showing her, in fact.  For that matter, the entire color scheme of this pony oddly seemed to match that of Riker’s uniform, what with the mostly burgundy coat and the black area around his cutie mark.  Still, she’d know that voice anywhere.  But it couldn’t be, could it?
Actually, now that she thought about it, she must have just been imagining things.  Her initial horror on hearing that voice was entirely uncalled for.  Now, in fact, she couldn’t even recall who it was exactly that she thought this strange pony’s voice had reminded her of in the first place.  She blinked her eyes a few times in confusion, feeling as though she’d just been bucked in the head or else had ingested far too much of some of the Apple family’s harder variety of cider (or had been gazing into the eyes of Mr. Riker for too long while letting her thoughts wander).  The feeling started to pass, and when she looked at the pony again, he smiled at her ingratiatingly.  She returned the smile weakly.  After all, she couldn’t explain this vague, lingering feeling of dread at all, and wasn’t it already fading away entirely?  Still, even if she could no longer remember whatever it was that had her so incredibly spooked just a moment before, there was still something vaguely unsettling about this new pony, all the same.
“Q!” said Riker, getting to his feet.  “What are you doing here?”
“What?  I thought this party was open to everypony,” said Pony-Q, and then narrowed his eyes.  “Not that there’s much of an actual party here at all, mind you.”
“What… were you saying… before?” asked Twilight, her voice slightly slurred, as though she was a bit muddled.  Riker had no doubt whatsoever that this was Q’s doing, but chose not to challenge the entity about it, at least not at this moment.
“I said that the reason these fine aliens are here is because of me,” said Pony-Q.  “I brought them here.”
“You’re… not really a pony yourself, are you?” said Twilight, her voice quickly returning to its normal state.
“Very perceptive, my dear,” said Pony-Q.  “You’re obviously much smarter than you look.  No, I am not a pony.  This is merely a guise that I have taken.”
“Ya ain’t one of them changeling critters, are ya?” said Applejack, who had made her way over to them, along with Rainbow Dash and Worf.  Similarly, Data was just getting to them, along with that fainting green unicorn that they had seen earlier and her cream colored earth pony friend.  And, lastly, Troi arrived with most of Twilight’s other friends.  Applejack glared angrily at the burgundy pony and said, “Because we had more than our fill of those varmints at the wedding the other day!”
“Oh please don’t lump me in with those tiresome creatures,” said Pony-Q dismissively.  “Now that Queen Chrysalis certainly has a lot of style and charisma, I’ll grant, but the rest of them?  What dullards.  No creativity at all.”
“Then what are you?” asked Rainbow Dash.
Pony-Q bowed theatrically and said, “You may call me Q.  It’s short for Q.  I am a member of, appropriately enough, the Q Continuum, a race of omnipotent beings for whom the entire universe is a sandbox in which to play.”
“And what, may I ask, are you doing here?” asked Rarity.  She was standing in a vaguely defensive posture in front of her sister and her two friends.  Sweetie Belle, for her part, was trying her best to see around Rarity, as were Apple Bloom and Scootaloo.
“Why am I here, you ask?” said Pony-Q.  “It’s very simple.  I am here to liven up this horrifically pedestrian thing that bears only the vaguest of resemblances to an actual party.”  He turned to Pinkie Pie and said, “My dearest Pinkie, I know you tried your best with what little you had to work with, but I’m sorry.  This party is truly the pits.”
Pinkie Pie, though as concerned about this unexpected party-crasher as any of the other ponies, especially since the humans seemed to not like him very much either, decided that directly showing fear would be useless and that no harm could come from playing along with him, at least for now.  She nodded and said, “I know, right?  I told the Mayor we at least needed a band.”
“Then, my dear, it is a very lucky thing for you that I’m here,” said Pony-Q.  “One band coming right up!”  He tapped one of his front hooves on the floor and three new ponies appeared behind him in a burst of light and sound, causing all the other ponies to flinch back in surprise.  The new ponies wore the same color scheme as Pony-Q with the same cutie mark (though they were missing the captain pips, Riker noted).  All three of them, and now Pony-Q as well, were wearing huge sombreros and frilly blue/white polka dot bowties at their necks.  One pony was carrying an acoustic guitar, another had a violin, and the third was holding a guitarrón mexicano.  Pony-Q himself held a trumpet to his lips and let fly with the first few notes of a peppy mariachi rendition of “La Paloma,” with the other three band members quickly joining in.  Pony-Q played for a bit longer, and then lowered the trumpet.  He tapped the floor again and a fourth pony appeared, to which Pony-Q’s own costume had been transferred.  Pony-Q handed the trumpet to this pony and turned back to Pinkie Pie while the band played on.
“Nice!” said Pinkie.  “Not what I would have chosen, but still pretty neat.”
“Q!” said Riker, with great annoyance.  “Enough of this!”
“Oh no, Riker,” said Pony-Q, shaking his head defiantly.  “Not this time!  We’re not aboard your dull starship where fun goes to die, and you’re not the boss of me, so nyah nyah nyah!”
“So, uh,” said Twilight, as she watched the burgundy pony dance a small jig to the music while Riker fumed, “it’s pretty clear that you already know one another…”
Worf suppressed a growl and said, “We’ve had… dealings… with this creature in the past, yes.”  He was so very tempted to draw his phaser and open fire, futile though he knew it would be.  The only thing holding him back was the danger to bystanders.
“Dealings? Creature?!” said Pony-Q, in an offended tone of voice.  “Worf, you wound me.  But I, magnanimous and magnificent being that I am, forgive you for your transgressions.  Here, have a cigar.”  Pony-Q tapped the floor again and lit cigars appeared in the mouths of Worf, Riker, and Data.  Worf immediately took the cigar from his mouth, snapped it in half, and then snapped the two halves into quarters.  Data and Riker removed theirs as well, though less quickly and violently than Worf had.
“What do you want, Q?” said Riker, the aggravation obvious in his voice.
Pony-Q shrugged.  “Well, my work here is actually more or less done, at least for the time being anyway.  I just wanted to liven up this squaresville snore-fest of a party a little bit, that’s all.  Having accomplished that, I think I’ll sample a few of the various flower sandwiches.”  He took a few steps toward the buffet table, and then turned back.  “Now don’t let my arrival kill the mood or anything.  Go on, go on.  Get back to it.  I believe, Riker, that you were about to regale dear Twilight with the absolutely thrilling tale of how I launched your ship clear across the galaxy in a matter of minutes.”  He turned back to the buffet table, and suddenly gasped in delight.  “Ooh, forget the sandwiches!  I see that somepony thoughtfully set out a bowl of gemstones for any dragons that may be in attendance.  Mmm, I think I’ll have a few sapphires, and maybe a ruby or two.  Don’t worry, Spike, there’ll still be plenty left for you, I assure you.”  Pony-Q nodded to the small dragon, who merely stared at him with the same wide-eyed astonishment and wariness that most of the others did.  Pony-Q snatched up a few gems and popped them into his mouth.  He turned around, stood up on his hind legs and made shooing motions toward Riker and Twilight with his front hooves.  Then he leaned back and rested his elbows on the buffet table and merely began to watch.
All eyes remained on Pony-Q for several moments, but when it appeared that he clearly wasn’t going to be doing anything else interesting for the time being, aside from munching on gemstones, the party began to return to some vague semblance of normality.  The mariachi band continued to play.
Riker lowered his voice and addressed the away team.  “Resume whatever you were doing before Q showed up.  Try to keep everyone as calm as possible.”
“I don’t think that will be an issue,” said Troi, somewhat ominously.
“What do you mean by that?” asked Worf.
“I’d prefer not to discuss it in this crowd,” said Troi, “but I think it’s rather significant.  When we get a moment alone, I’ll explain in more detail.”
“Very well,” said Riker.  “Carry on for now.”  He watched as the away team moved away, and then sat down again next to Twilight Sparkle.  She still looked a bit dazed and unsettled by Q’s sudden appearance.  “Are you okay?”
Twilight flinched a bit as though she’d be lost in thought.  “Er… yes, sorry.  I was just thinking about something.  I don’t know why, but that Q pony reminds me of someone else.  It’s like it’s right on the edge of my memory, but I just can’t bring it into focus for some reason.  I feel like it’s very important that I remember, but I… just can’t.”
Riker frowned.  “Do you feel like you’re being coerced in some way?”
The purple pony frowned as well.  “It’s… possible.  Does Q really have that sort of power?”
“He is, as he claims, essentially omnipotent,” said Riker.  “He once shared his power with me and tried to get me to join their Continuum.  Even in the brief time I had the power, I… kind of let it go to my head.  Fortunately, with the help of my colleagues, I was able to regain my humanity and give up the powers, but… it was rather intoxicating, all the same.  So in short, yes, he does indeed have the ability.  And if he is intentionally interfering with your memories in some way, I hate to admit it, but there’s probably not a whole lot that can be done about it, until he decides otherwise.”
“That’s… rather terrifying,” said Twilight, trying and only partially succeeding at suppressing a shudder.  “Darn it, even that seems familiar to me somehow, but I just can’t put my hoof on how or why.”
“I can try to confront him again,” said Riker, looking over at the omnipotent entity.  Pony-Q grinned back at him.  Riker narrowed his eyes and turned back to the pony sitting next to him.  “On occasion, we have been able to persuade him to be reasonable about some of the more irritating things that he does.  Usually, though, he just does whatever he wants, regardless.”  He made as if to get up from the table again.
“No!” said Twilight, more sharply than she had intended, which caused her to blush yet again, to her frustration and annoyance.  “Please.  Don’t put yourself at risk for my sake.”  She looked around at the other ponies.  “None of the others seem to be affected by this, or at least if they are, it doesn’t seem to be affecting them as strongly as it is me.  No, for now at least, I think we should just pretend like everything is okay.  Let’s not antagonize him if we don’t need to.  If whatever it is that I’m not able to remember is somehow a threat to him, perhaps it’s better that I don’t remember it, at least for the time being.”
“Are you sure?” said Riker, concern evident in his voice.  “I don’t like to see anyone suffering needlessly.”
Twilight smiled wanly.  “I’m not suffering really.  It’s just a nagging feeling that there’s something going on here, something beyond what is apparent on the surface.”  Her face flushed bright red once more and she added, “I… I do appreciate your concern, though.  So… anyway, what were you saying, before we were so rudely interrupted?”
Riker leaned back in his chair and sighed.  “Right, well, he is correct about one thing at least.  The reason we are here is because of him, though we are more familiar with him in his human form.  As he said, without warning, he suddenly launched our ship over forty thousand light years from our initial position to here.  The trip took about three minutes thanks to his powers, but under our own engines, the return trip would take almost thirty years, even at maximum speed.  After we arrived in orbit, he said that he would refuse to send us back until we came down here and met you all.”
Twilight eyes increasingly widened as she listened to the story.  She shook her head in confusion.  “It’s amazing that he really has that much power.  But… why here?  Why us?  What possible reason could he have to bring you so far just to meet us?”
“That is one of the things he refuses to tell us,” said Riker.  “But with Q, there’s always an angle of some sort.  There’s always some sort of ulterior motive behind everything he does.”
With a burst of light and sound, Pony-Q appeared at the table between Riker and Twilight Sparkle, causing both of them to flinch back.  “Riker, you are so paranoid.  As I’ve been telling Jean-Luc over and over again, I have very little planned here, this time.  I am merely the catalyst.  I bring you here and force you to beam down, and then you do the rest.  I simply sit back and watch.  And provide the music, as needed.”
“Er, ‘beam down’?” asked Twilight.
“Ugh,” said Pony-Q with utter boredom, laying his head down on the table and closing his eyes.  “I’ll let you field that one, Riker.”
“Our ship has a transportation system that allows us to break down our bodies into energy, send that energy through space to a distant location nearly instantaneously, and then reintegrate ourselves at the target location,” explained Riker.  “We simply call it ‘beaming down.’”
“Oh, so it’s kind of like unicorn teleportation,” said Twilight, nodding.
Riker blinked and said, “Um… well, I didn’t know that unicorns could teleport, but… yes, I suppose it would be like that.”
“I have to admit, though,” said Twilight, glancing at Pony-Q, “that it’s rather unnerving to see an earth pony teleporting around like that.”
“And why do you think I chose the guise of an earth pony in the first place?” said Pony-Q with a grin.  “It’ll raise so many more eyebrows if I’m in this form when I teleport or start flying around like a pegasus than it would if I were, say, in the form of an alicorn, obviously.  But whatever… anyway, I’ll be so glad when you finally get all these little technicalities about universal translators and transporters and cutie marks and unicorn teleportation and weather control and whatever other boring stuff out of the way, so that you can start talking about things with more substance to them.”
“And just what is it that you’d like us to discuss, exactly?” asked Riker in exasperation.  “Anything in particular?”
“Oh, whatever comes to mind,” said Pony-Q.  “But please, just stop explaining all the mundane crap to one another.  It’s so very tiresome.”
Riker and Twilight glanced at each other, and then back at Pony-Q.
“Oh for the love of…” muttered Pony-Q.  “Okay, how about you share some of those old myths and legends from your respective histories about each other?  That should be fascinating, I’m sure.  But, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be over there, way out of earshot.”  Pony-Q stood up and walked away, heading in the general direction of the buffet table again.  Ponies hastily moved to get out of his way as he walked past them.
“I don’t think anywhere is truly out of his earshot,” muttered Riker.
“Well,” said Twilight, with a shrug, “be that as it may, I suppose that is as good a topic as any other.  It really is rather strange that we’d be myths in each other’s cultures, after all.  And, I admit, I’m definitely interested to share them with you.”  And there was that aggravating blush yet again.  Twilight felt like kicking herself.  If only she could figure out what was causing it…  She cast her eyes briefly in Pony-Q’s direction as she pondered this little problem.
“All right,” said Riker.  “I think I know a good one to start off with.”  With that, he started telling the tale of Pegasus, son of Poseidon and Medusa, and his brother Chrysaor, and how they’d been both born from the remains of the Gorgon after she’d been slain by the hero Perseus.



On the bridge of the Enterprise, Q suddenly looked around as though he’d heard something out of the ordinary.
Picard opened his mouth to ask what was going on, but Q made a shushing sound and held up a finger.  “Hold on, I thought I sensed…”  Q waited a moment, then sighed and let his shoulders slump.  “And I did.  All right, Picard, hold the fort for me here.  I’ll be right back.”  He teleported away, leaving Picard to wonder what was going on.
Less than a second later, he reappeared on the outer hull of the Enterprise, on the stardrive section, halfway between the two warp nacelles.  He looked around again and said, “All right, Q, I know you’re here.  Come out of hiding already.”
With a burst of light and sound, another entity appeared, humanoid in appearance with blonde hair and wearing a gray and green jumpsuit.  “Took you long enough to detect me,” said the newcomer.
“I sensed you when you first arrived, actually,” said Q.  “Back before the away team even beamed down.  But you seem to have gotten restless all of a sudden.  What do you want?”
“Well,” said the other Q, “I wanted to get your attention so that I could warn you.  At first, I was the only one who knew about this new little excursion of yours, and I was content to simply watch how it turned out, but now the rest of the Continuum knows.”
“I couldn’t care less,” said Q.  “I’m not doing anything wrong this time.”
“Yet, anyway,” said the second Q.  “However, it’s not so much that the Continuum as a whole knows about it, but that she knows.”
“What?!  Q knows that I’m here?  I thought you said you wouldn’t tell her anything!” said Q angrily.  “I thought we were bros, man!”
Q2 held up and waved his hands defensively and said, “I didn’t breathe a single word to her about any of what we talked about concerning this world!  But you know how she is!  She has her ways of finding these things out.”
“Argh!  If she shows up, it could ruin everything!” said Q, seething.
“Ruin what?” asked Q2.  “I’ve been watching you all this time and even I can’t figure out what you’re up to yet.”
“Listen, what I’m planning here is of no concern to the Continuum or to her,” said Q.  “All I’m doing is establishing relations between two species for whom I have a particular fondness.  That is all, nothing more and nothing less.”
“Q is not going to see it that way,” said Q2.  “No, she won’t see it that way at all.”
“What do you mean?” asked Q.
“Well, let’s just say that if I were you, and most fortunately I am not, but if I were, I would steer clear of Canterlot altogether,” said Q2.
“What?” said Q in surprise.  “Wait… she thinks I’m here… to see Celestia?”
“Well,” said Q2.  “To be perfectly honest, I’m surprised that you haven’t been to see her yet, myself.  I thought that would’ve been one of the first things you’d do.”
“You think I want to spend another several thousand years trapped in stone?” said Q.  “My other body is still sitting there in that statue garden even at this very moment, and I have no interest in adding another statue to her collection, either as a pony or as a human.  Besides, I…”  He frowned and crossed his arms over his chest.  “My feelings for Celestia have cooled since then.  I have no interest in paying her a visit whatsoever.”
“You,” said Q2, shaking his head, “are a terrible, horrible, abysmal liar.  You always have been and you always will be.  I’m surprised the mortals don’t catch you out more often than they already do.”
Q hung his head.  “You’re right.  I do want to see her again.  I need to see her again.  We didn’t part ways under the best of circumstances last time, as you well know.  At the very least, I just want to try to make peace with her, if nothing else.”
“Q, as far as Celestia is concerned, you are nothing but a statue, as you said,” said Q2.  “She has no idea that you are out here gallivanting around, free and clear.  What do you think she will do when you show up?  You’ve already hoodwinked these ponies into not recognizing you, even though some of them immediately did as soon as you opened your big mouth in their presence.  At least until you messed with their heads, anyway.”
“That was for their own good,” said Q defensively.  “I couldn’t just have them knowing that the entity they thought of as Discord was free once again!  It would have made things a lot more difficult.”
“Are you going to risk revealing yourself to Celestia then?” asked Q2.  “Won’t that also ruin whatever the &~%|(!*^$`+# you have planned here as well?”
“It… might,” said Q.  “But it may actually work in my favor.  Either way, I still have to risk it.  I have to see her, at least once more.  Surely you can understand that, Q?”
“I understand it just fine,” said Q2.  “After all, I was the one who suggested you come back here, wasn’t I?  But Q certainly won’t.  I’m not saying not do it, mind you.  I’m just saying that if you reveal yourself to Celestia, I haven’t the slightest clue how Q will react.  But I can assure you that whatever she does, it probably won’t be pretty.”
Q wrung his hands and started pacing.  “Look, just… just run interference for me, okay?  You can do that much, can’t you?”
Q2 tilted his head and crossed his arms.  “And why, pray tell, would I get myself involved in this at all?  What possible reason could I have to be that stupid?  She already thinks you and I are in cahoots even now, you know.”
“And that’s exactly why you should help me!” said Q.  “If things go belly up, do you think she’ll stop at just me?  No, you said it yourself.  She knows I’m here.  And that means she knows you are here as well.”
Q2 frowned.  “So why shouldn’t I just go to her right now and tell her about all of this?  If I come clean now, maybe she’ll leave me out of it, at least.”
“You think so, huh?” said Q, crossing his own arms and regarding his fellow Q.  “You’re not forgetting that incident with the Deltived asteroid belt again, are you?  You recall just how incensed she was about that whole affair, right?  I doubt she’s completely forgiven you, even now.”
Q2 ground his teeth and then shook his head.  “Okay.  Okay, &~%|(!*^$`+# it all.  You have a point.  I’ll see what I can do.  I can’t guarantee anything, of course, especially if she’s able to convince the rest of the Continuum that you’re up to no good once again, but I’ll see what I can do.”
“Q, you’re a lifesaver,” said Q.  “That’s all I can ask.”
“But you, my friend, are going to owe me big time for this,” said Q2.  He then disappeared in a burst of light and sound, leaving Q standing alone on the Enterprise hull.
Q considered his options and then merely shrugged.  The wheels were already in motion, and there was nothing he could do now but see how things played out.  He teleported back onto the bridge of the Enterprise.  At Picard’s questioning look, Q smiled and said, “Nothing to concern yourself with, Jean-Luc.  Nothing at all.”



“And that,” said Twilight Sparkle, “is the legend of how the brave human warrior Megan defeated the dark lord Tirek with the Rainbow of Light.”
“This Megan features in a lot of your myths,” noted Riker.  “She was also involved in the story with… the Smooze, I believe you called it?”
“Yeah,” said Twilight.  “Her younger brother and sister were involved in that as well, along with the many others.  And… well, that’s all of the myths I know that involve humans.”  She brought a hoof to her mouth and stifled a yawn.  “Wow, it’s even later than I thought.  How the time flies when you’re having fun, huh?”  She looked into Riker’s eyes briefly, and then averted her own, blushing yet again, while mentally kicking herself.
To spare her any more of the embarrassment that she’d obviously been feeling, which he’d pretended all evening not to notice, Riker looked around the rest of the room.  Most of the other ponies had already left, including Fluttershy, Applejack with Apple Bloom, and Rarity with Sweetie Belle.  Spike had also left for the library a little bit ago, after asking Pinkie Pie if he could take the leftover gems with him.  Scootaloo had stayed behind in order to hang out some more with Rainbow Dash, but she was currently fast asleep at a nearby table.  Rainbow Dash was sitting at the same table, with yet another full tankard of cider in front of her, along with Worf, who was also nursing another tankard of the stuff.  They were having what appeared to be a rather intense conversation, but Riker couldn’t make out what they were saying since they were keeping their voices low for Scootaloo’s sake.  In any case, Riker was glad that Worf had found at least one pony that he seemed to get along with here.  He looked over at Data and Troi, who were just finishing up with helping Pinkie Pie and the Cakes clean up after the party.  Pony-Q had long ago teleported away to who knows where, but Riker knew they hadn’t seen the last of him at all.  His mariachi band, however, had only just vanished a few minutes ago, just after Spike had departed.
“Well,” he said, “I suppose we should be getting back to our ship for the night.  It’s been a long day.  Before I turn in, however, I will speak to the Captain about arranging a tour for you and your friends.  I’m sure he’ll agree to it.”
Twilight smiled and said, “I look forward to it.”  With that, both of them got up from their table and headed toward the others.  They picked up on the end of the conversation between Rainbow Dash and Worf as they approached.
“So, we’ll meet here first thing in the morning and then head on over to Sweet Apple Acres, right?” said Dash.
“Yes,” said Worf.  “Again, I look forward to sparring with you.”
“Cool,” said Rainbow, grinning.  “Anyhow, I should be getting Scoots home.  Her parents are probably worried sick about her by now.  I hope she doesn’t get in too much trouble for staying out so late.  I kinda feel like it’s my fault.”
“She really looks up to you, doesn’t she?” said Troi, who approached the table along with Data and Pinkie Pie.
“Yeah,” said Dash.  She looked down at Scootaloo and smiled softly, then raised a hoof and lightly ruffled the filly’s purple mane while she slept.  “I guess she does.  Even though we’re not actually related, I… well, I often think of her as the little sister I never had.  But don’t any of you dare tell her I said that.”  She nudged the small orange pony awake and said, “C’mon, kiddo, it’s pretty late.  Let’s get you home to bed, huh?  Don’t worry.  I’ll take the rap with your parents so you won’t get in trouble.”
Scootaloo shook her head slowly and muttered, “Aw, do we have to?  Why can’t we go back to your place?  It’s been a while since the last time you let me sleepover.”
Rainbow considered it for a moment, and then said, “You know what?  Why not?  Tank’s been a bit lonely with just me around, since I’m usually not home for most of the day anyway.  We should still drop by your place first to let your folks know that you’re all right, at least.”
“Awesome,” said Scootaloo sleepily, and began to nod off once more, but Rainbow nudged her awake again.  She nodded to the others and wrapped a wing around the orange filly as they headed out the door.
Pinkie Pie watched them go, and then said, “Well, I have to admit that the party didn’t turn out so bad in the end, after all.  That Q guy’s music really livened things up quite a bit, and I have gained a new appreciation for mariachi, so it’s all good.  Why do you guys seem to think he’s such a big meanie pants anyway?”
Troi frowned and said, “He has appeared to us several times in the past, and every time, it has been… an ordeal.”
“To say the least,” muttered Worf.  “He’s a menace.”
“I have to admit,” said Twilight, “he makes me rather uncomfortable as well.”
Troi glanced meaningfully at Riker, but didn’t say anything.  He nodded slightly in return.  He then turned to Pinkie and said, “I wouldn’t worry too much about him, at least for the moment.  He’s a capricious entity, and his actions have undeniably caused us harm in the past, but he’s rarely been outright intentionally malevolent.  And, so far at least, this has been the mildest visit from him that we’ve had yet, aside from the initial relocation of our ship, anyway.  Still, when Q is involved, caution is always advised.”
Pinkie shrugged and said, “I’ll take your word for it, but I personally thought he was a hoot.”  She let out a huge yawn, and then grinned.  “Sorry about that.  I’m about to fall asleep on my hooves here.”
“Then we’ll get out of your hair,” said Riker.  “Thanks once again for the hospitality.  We appreciate it.”  He nodded to the away team members as a signal, and they stood up next to him.  He tapped his combadge and said, “Riker to Enterprise.  Four to beam up.”
Twilight, Pinkie, and the Cakes watched in awe as the cascading transporter beams enveloped the away team and then faded out of existence.
“Wow,” said Pinkie.  “That’s a pretty neat trick.”



After they reappeared in the transporter room, Troi took Riker aside for a moment.  “Will,” she said, “down on the planet when Q first appeared… those ponies weren’t just surprised.  Many of them were flat out terrified.  A few of them were also intensely angry and seemed as though they wanted to attack him on sight, or, at least, as soon as they heard his voice anyway.  After they saw him, however, I sensed confusion, as though the pony guise that he’d adopted wasn’t what they’d expected to see.”
“Yeah, I got a good look at Twilight’s face when she first heard him speak,” said Riker.  “She looked as though she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that some horrible monster had appeared right behind her.”
“More than that,” said Troi, “there was a deep sense of familiarity.  But then… it all just faded away, the terror, the rage, the sense of familiarity, everything.  Except for Twilight Sparkle, that is.  It seemed like she retained a sliver of whatever it was they felt when Q first appeared.  Q obviously did something to them to mask what I have to assume were their memories of a previous encounter with him.  I simply can’t imagine what he must have done to them in the past to elicit such an intense reaction from them just from hearing his voice, but it can’t have been pleasant.”
Riker nodded.  “Twilight said that she felt like there was something important that she should have been remembering, but couldn’t.  I’ll definitely mention this to the Captain in my report,” said Riker.
“Oh, and by the way, Will,” said Troi, with a bit of a smirk on her face.  “Speaking of Twilight, she seems a bit… taken with you.”
Riker raised an eyebrow.  “You noticed that too, huh?”
“Oh come on,” said Troi.  “I’m an empath, remember?  Not that it really required an empath to notice.  Besides, she made it a point to be around you the whole night, and several times I noticed her looking at you and then blushing and turning away the instant you made eye contact.  I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one in the room who noticed it either.  Rarity seemed to be paying particular attention to the two of you as well.”
“Well, I have to admit, she is kind of cute,” said Riker, with a grin.
“Isn’t she a bit young for you, Commander?” asked Troi, crossing her arms.  “And also perhaps a bit too… pony for you?”
“Jealous?” asked Riker.  Troi responded by punching him in the arm.
“Ow!” Riker said with a laugh, and then sighed and shrugged.  “I’m just teasing.  Anyway, I’m sure it’s just a harmless crush.  She is indeed a lovely girl, I suppose, for a pony anyway, but I can safely say that I don’t feel the same way about her in return.  It’s actually more than a little weird to consider, given that they look a bit too much like ponies from home, though at the same time I have to admit that it’s rather flattering, too.”
“Just be careful, Will,” said Troi in a more serious tone.  “For some reason, I get the impression that she doesn’t actually fully recognize her feelings for what they are.  She seems somewhat frustrated by them, perhaps even frightened by them.  For now, I would advise caution and that you let her down as gently as possible, if it comes to that.”
“Don’t worry, Deanna,” said Riker.  “I won’t do anything to hurt her if I can help it.  Anyway, you look rather tired.  It’s been a long day.  You should get some rest.”
“You as well,” said Troi.  “You’ve been awake since the last night shift, after all.”
Riker stifled a yawn and said, “And don’t I know it.  Well, I have to report to Captain Picard first, as well as ask him about arranging a tour for our new friends.  We’ll beam back down first thing in the morning.  I know you have plans with Fluttershy, and Worf has apparently agreed to a sparring match with Rainbow Dash as well.  I should probably put Dr. Crusher on alert for that one.  Also, I’m not sure what’s up with Data and that green unicorn… Lyra, I think her name was, but they were talking well into the night before she finally left with her friend.  Oh well, I suppose they can sort it all out in the morning.  Well, morning for the ponies anyway.  It’s still early evening ship time.”
“Yeah,” said Troi, “I hate adjusting to planetside time differences too, but we’ll manage, assuming we stay here that long, of course.”
Riker nodded.  “Good night, Counselor.”
“Good night, Commander,” said Troi, with a smile.
They parted ways, with Riker headed for the bridge and Troi to her quarters.  As Riker rode the turbolift on the way to the bridge, he mulled over what he was going to tell the Captain.  So much had happened that it would be difficult to condense it down.  The turbolift doors opened and Riker strode out onto the bridge, but then stopped in his tracks.  On the main view screen was himself, as seen from behind.  He turned around and looked behind him, but didn’t see anything that would be recording this view.  He turned back when he heard Captain Picard speaking.
“Q, I told you that you don’t need to keep recording my away team like this, especially now that they’re on the ship,” said Picard.  “In fact, I insist that you stop.”
“I didn’t hear you complaining when they were down on the surface,” retorted Q.
Riker walked toward Picard and Q.  “What’s going on here?” he said.
Picard sighed and said, “Q used his powers to set it up so that the view screen showed what was happening down on the surface of the planet.  He created a… camera of some sort.  It has been following you since shortly after you arrived in Ponyville.  I should have made you aware of it as soon as he did it, but I must admit that I became distracted by the rather colorful citizens of the planet below.”
“I… see,” said Riker.  “Well, I suppose that means that my report to you won’t need to be so detailed, if you’ve already seen everything.”
“I still want your official report,” said Picard, “but it can wait until later.” He turned to Q and said, “Q, for the last time, shut that damned thing off!”
“If you insist,” said Q.  He waved a hand and the view screen went back to showing the planet from orbit.  “I’m going to turn it back on tomorrow, though, after they beam down again.  Maybe do a little split screen action as needed.  Oh and by the way, Jean-Luc, if I were you, I’d definitely take Riker up on his offer to the ponies to let them have a tour of the ship.  Let’s just consider that to be another condition of my letting you leave here at some point.”
Riker was somewhat annoyed that the away team had been eavesdropped upon for almost the entire duration of their time on the planet surface, but chose not to voice this.  He just chalked it up to yet more of Q’s aggravating antics.  Instead, he said, “I suppose that means that you overheard what Deanna and I were talking about in the transporter room as well, then?”
Picard nodded, and looked at Q with narrowed eyes.  “Yes.  Q and I have already discussed that, but Q is being less than forthcoming, as usual.”
“Let me put it as plainly as I can so that your simple human minds can understand it:  it’s none of your damned business,” said Q bitterly.  “It’s all in the past, regardless.  I assure you that I have no intention of reawakening those dark times if I can at all avoid it, and I’d rather not think about it, if you don’t mind.  It wasn’t pleasant, even for me.  In fact, now that you’ve soured my mood, I’ll take my leave of you for the time being.  Until tomorrow, Jean-Luc.”  He tossed off a haphazard salute, and then disappeared in a burst of light and sound.
Picard and Riker shared a glance.  If whatever had happened was bad enough that even Q was ashamed of it, as he had appeared to be… well, Picard didn’t care to dwell on it, especially considering all of the things that the entity had done to him and his crew, none of which Q ever seemed to display an iota of regret about.  Picard let the matter drop for now and turned back to Riker.  “Well, Number One, let us discuss your promise to our new friends of a tour of the ship, as well as access to our library computers.”
“I hope that wasn’t too presumptuous of me, sir,” said Riker, a bit chagrined.
“Perhaps, Number One,” said Picard, with a smile.  “But, thanks to Q, the damage has already been done as far as the Prime Directive is concerned.  I suppose I should be trying to mitigate that by not allowing them to see the full breadth of our technology, but I just can’t help but look forward to having them aboard as our guests.  There’s just… something about these ponies.  So, yes, I will permit tours of the ship.  With that out of the way, who all will be among the party to board?”
Riker thought about it for a bit, and said, “Well, for now, I think we should limit it to Twilight Sparkle and her immediate circle of friends, since they are the official liaisons per the Mayor’s instructions.  While I’m pretty sure that most of the town would like to see our ship, I’m not sure we can handle that many, at least not all at once.”
Picard nodded.  “Very well.  Make it so.  Tell Miss Sparkle that she and her friends are welcome aboard at their earliest convenience.  We can schedule other tours later for anyone else that wishes.  To be honest, I’m also thinking of scheduling a short shore leave for the crew here as well, provided those in authority agree.  But for now, Number One, I believe that you’ve had a rather long day and night before.  Mr. Data and I can handle things up here for the time being.  Go, get some sleep.”
“Thank you, sir,” said Riker.  As he entered the turbolift, he overheard as Data turned to Picard and said, “Captain, I have a special request to make.  It concerns the unicorn known as Lyra…”  The doors shut and Riker didn’t hear the rest of it.