//------------------------------//
// Planetfall 
// Story: Where Nopony Has Gone Before 
// by Kane Magus 
//------------------------------//


Chapter 2 - Planetfall


The away team materialized on a small, wooded hill, the same one that Pony-Q had been on earlier in fact, though they were not aware of this.  When the transporter beams had fully faded away, both Worf and Data pulled out their tricorders and began scanning the area.  Riker and Troi merely looked around.  Down the hill, maybe a little over a mile away, was the town that Q had pointed out to them.  There also appeared to be a farm at the base of the hill, a bit to the south and west in relation to the town.  Beyond that was the forest that Q had warned them about.
“Do you sense anything, Deanna?” asked Riker.
“Yes,” said Troi.  “Yes I do.”  She looked around in wonder.  “It’s amazing.  It’s almost as if… as if everything is alive, and teeming with emotion and intelligence.”
Riker looked around the area a bit more cautiously than he had earlier.  “Are you saying they already know we’re here?”
Worf said, “I do not detect any life signs in our immediate vicinity, sir, aside from smaller creatures such as birds and other forest animals.”
Troi glanced up into the nearby trees.  “That’s just it.  What I feel seems to be coming from every creature, including the birds and squirrels and other such animals.”
Data slowly scanned his tricorder back and forth.  “It is remarkable how similar much of the flora and fauna of this world is to that of Earth,” he said.
“They’re not, though,” said Troi.  “They may look the same, and may even be physically similar, but they’re not mentally the same at all.  When I sense a bird on Earth or Betazed, there is, at most, a vague sort of rudimentary awareness, but that’s about it.  The emotions are very simple, things like basic hunger or fear of predators, things of that nature.  Here, however, it seems to be much more complex than that.  Even some of the plants seem to possess this quality.  The ponies may be the dominant species on this planet, but I don’t think they’re the only sapient species here at all.”
Worf carefully swept his tricorder around the area and said, “Do you sense any hostile intent?”
Troi shook her head.  “I sense nothing like that.  They are definitely aware of us being here, but I only sense curiosity… wonder… a slight amount of understandable wariness, perhaps, but no malicious intent.”
Riker looked up into the trees.  He caught a glimpse of what appeared to be a blue jay.  The bird looked directly at him, cocked its head to the side, and flew away.  “Well, let’s start making our way toward the town, but for now let’s try to remain hidden, at least from the ponies, anyway.  If these other creatures are capable of communicating with them, however, I doubt we will remain concealed for very long.”  The away team began walking in the general direction of the nearby town.
After only a few minutes, Data held up a hand and they stopped.  “I believe I hear voices, Commander.  They are coming from this direction.”  The away team slowly began to advance toward the source of the voices, while trying to remain hidden as well as they could.
“…should we do today?” a childlike female voice could be heard saying.
“Well, let’s take a look at the list,” said a second voice, also childlike and female.
“Got it,” said a third, similarly female and childlike voice.
Data silently pointed upward.  Riker looked up and saw a treehouse.  He broke into a grin which Troi mirrored.  Data and Worf pointed their tricorders at the structure.
The third voice said, “The list for yesterday shows that we tried bein’ Cutie Mark Crusader librarians, short order cooks, mailmares-”
“I still think it was Derpy’s fault that one didn’t work out,” the second voice broke in sourly.
“Oh hush,” said the third voice, “it wasn’t her idea that you and her both try to ride on yer scooter together to make deliverin’ the mail go faster, y’know.”
“Well, her mistakenly covering my eyes with her hooves instead of her own while she screamed like a newborn foal didn’t really help things,” said the second voice.  “And since I couldn’t see, it’s not my fault we all crashed into that merchant stall… and that pile of crates… and Big Macintosh…”
“Big Mac was still a bit sore in the rump even this mornin’,” said the third voice.
“I said I was sorry!” said the second voice.  “Sheesh!”
“Guys, we’re getting off track here,” said the first voice.
“Right, so where was I?” said the third voice.  “Oh, yeah.  After mailmares… let’s see, we tried bein’ Cutie Mark Crusader blacksmiths, trapeze artists, …garbage-ponies… eugh, yeah, I’m glad that one didn’t work out… and then…”
The third voice continued reading off the list while the away team eavesdropped on them.  Riker could have sworn he heard “quantum physicist” as one of the several things called out, and his eyebrows shot up in surprise.  Before he could consider that for more than a few seconds, he felt a tap on his shoulder.  He turned to face Data.
“Commander,” said Data in a whisper, “an enquiry.”
“Yes, Data?” whispered Riker in return.
“What is a… Cutie Mark Crusader?” asked the android, tilting his head.  “For that matter, what is a cutie mark?”
Riker opened his mouth, and then closed it again.  He glanced up at the treehouse again, then back at Data.  “Mr. Data, I don’t have the slightest clue.”
Troi smiled and said, “Come now, Will, surely you and your friends had a club like this when you were a child.”
Riker thought back to his youth and smiled.  Before he could say anything in response, however, the voices in the treehouse broke out into a loud fit of giggles.
“Okay, so what do we do today?” asked the first voice again.
“I know!” said the second.  “Let’s try being Cutie Mark Crusader astronauts!”
“What’s an aster… nut?” said the third voice.  “Is that some kinda food?”
“Astronaut!” said the second voice again.  “It’s a… it’s a… well… I’m not entirely sure what it means, but it’s a word I saw in one of the comic books I borrowed from Rainbow Dash.  I asked her what it meant and she didn’t really know either, but she said it sounded pretty radical.  Anyway, the comic book was about a bunch of ponies in these awesome looking white suits with fishbowls on their heads and they were all floating waaaaay up in the night sky in a flying boat.”
“Oooh!” said the first voice.  “That sounds like fun!  And then what happened?”
The second voice was really wound up now.  “They all got covered by some kind of weird glowy dust and then all of them gained magical powers!  Even the earth ponies and pegasi were able to do crazy things!  And the unicorn’s powers got even cooler!”
Troi looked at Riker with widened eyes and mouthed the words “Pegasi?” and “Unicorns?”  Riker shook his head and shrugged.
“Wow!” said the other two voices.
“But… wait,” said the third voice.  “How do we get up there, though?  You said they had a flyin’ boat?”
“It looked more like a flying train, actually,” said the second voice.  “I don’t have any idea what it was, to be honest.”
“Well, that’s disappointing,” said the first voice.  “Wait!  I know!  Let’s go ask Twilight Sparkle!  She knows everything!”
“Er…” said the third voice.  “Do you think it’s safe goin’ back to the library so soon?  Ya know, after what happened yesterday?”
“Oh come on,” said the second voice.  “We only spilled ink on a few of those dusty old books.  I’m sure she’s not all that mad at us anymore.”
“What about the ones that got burned up?” asked the first voice.
“That was Spike’s fault!” said the third voice.
“Only because you stepped on his tail while he was carrying that big armload of books and he yelped out a bunch of dragon fire on them!” said the second voice.
If possible, Troi’s eyes got even wider.  “Dragon?” she mouthed to Riker, who merely shrugged again.
“Still,” said the first voice.  “She’s the only lead we’ve got.  Even if none of the books in her library can tell us how to make a flying boat or train or whatever, maybe she’ll at least let us borrow her hot air balloon for a little while.”
“Yeah!” said the second voice.  “That sounds awesome!”
“C’mon, guys, let’s go!” said the third voice.
At the sudden sound of motion coming from the treehouse, the away team ducked farther back into cover.  After a few seconds, three small creatures exited out of the treehouse and quickly scrambled down to the ground.  One of them, an orange pony with short pinkish-purple mane and tail, jumped on a scooter that was parked at the base of the tree.  The other two, one a yellow pony with red mane and tail and a big pink bow in her hair and the other a white pony with purple/pink striped mane and a horn on her head, hopped up into a wagon that was attached to the back of the scooter, each of them affixing helmets to their heads.  With a lot of giggling from all three of them, the one on the scooter started flapping her small wings and (accompanied by a sound weirdly like that of a small combustion engine) the three of them headed off for the town.
“Counselor, are you all right?” asked Worf sharply.
Riker looked over at Troi, who was covering her mouth with her hands and staring after the three with wide eyes.  “Deanna?” said Riker, concern in his voice.
Troi dropped her hands from her mouth and turned to face Riker.  “They’re… so… adorable!” she squeaked.  It was the biggest smile Riker had seen on her face in quite a while, almost as big as when he’d given her that authentic, non-replicated Ktarian chocolate puff for her birthday last year.
Riker grinned, while Worf narrowed his eyes and Data just looked confused.  “Well, Counselor, I certainly agree with you, but don’t let it get in the way of your judgment.  We still don’t know anything about these people.  Still… those three really did seem very similar to human children in behavior, didn’t they?”
Worf grumbled.  “They certainly don’t act like Klingon children.”
“Really, Mr. Worf?” said Riker, his grin getting bigger.  “You never had make-believe adventures as a child?”
“I…” said Worf.  Then he narrowed his eyes again.  “I prefer not to discuss it.”
Data looked in the direction that the three small ponies had taken and said, “Commander, if I may make a suggestion, those three seemed to hold the one they called Twilight Sparkle with a high degree of respect.  Perhaps we should seek out her aid as well.  She could be a good source of information, particularly given that her occupation is apparently that of a librarian.”
Riker pondered for a bit, and then said, “Sounds like a good plan.  We still have to get over the hurdle of official first contact first, however.  Well, I think we’ve learned all we can here for the time being.  Let’s continue on.”  With that, the away team started moving toward the town again.



“Jean-Luc,” said Q, his voice heavy with boredom, “your away team is far too cautious.”  They had since left the ready room and returned to the bridge.  Picard was sitting in his command chair and reading something on a PADD, while Q was lounging in Troi’s chair.  “They’re still skulking about in the woods.”
“That’s only natural in a situation like this,” said Picard, not even bothering to look up from what he was reading.  “There are far too many unknowns to go blindly charging in.”  ‘Especially when you are involved,’ he thought, but left unvoiced.
Q huffed.  “I’ve already told you.  These ponies are absolutely no threat to you or your people.  Well, okay, it’s true that they could cause some serious damage if they kicked you and some of them could easily fry you to a crisp if you got them riled up, but you’d have to be actively trying to anger them before it got to that point.”
Picard set his PADD aside and stared at Q.  “Fry to a crisp?  What have you gotten my people into down there, Q?!”
Q shook his head and waved a hand dismissively.  “I’m just speaking about remote possibilities.  These are just things that they could do, just as your people could cut loose with those horrible little hand phasers and disintegrate half of the town if they were so inclined, or you could order a salvo of photon torpedoes to be launched down at them.  I’d say that the probability of any of those things occurring is roughly equal and near to zero, at least not without some serious provocation from one side or the other.”
“I take it you’ve had first hand experience with provoking them?” asked Picard.
“At one point in time, yes,” said Q.  “Granted, even the strongest of them couldn’t actually harm me at all, at least not without the rest of the Continuum giving them a little help at one point, anyway, but it was still a most interesting experience.  Not one that I’m inclined to speak with you about at this point in time, however.”
“Hmm, so humanity is not the first species that you’ve been punished by the Q Continuum for treating like lab rats, it seems,” mused Picard.
“I’ve never treated you like lab rats,” said Q indignantly.  “Well… okay, maybe a little bit at first, but I’ve learned my lesson.”
“Then why are we here, now?” asked Picard, raising an eyebrow.
“I told you, Jean-Luc,” said Q.  “This is not a test.  This is not some sort of game.  This is just a… meet-and-greet, for lack of a better term.  Is it really so bad that I want some of my friends to meet each other and get along?  It’s just that I know these ponies, and I know you humans, and I know the two of you will get on famously.”  Q’s smile then turned to an impatient frown as he added, “Or at least, you would get along if your away team would stop pussyfooting around and just get on with it, already.”  Q tapped his chin for a bit.  “You know what?  I think I’m going to have to step in and speed things along a little bit…  Ah, there we go.  That’s better.”
“What did you do, Q?!” said Picard.
“You’ll find out,” said Q, with a wink that infuriated the Captain.



The away team was still covertly moving through the woods as they slowly approached the town, and were already in sight of some ponies milling about in the distance, when suddenly, from behind them, a voice sounded out.  “Ah, there you are!”
Riker whirled around, his hand instinctively going for his phaser, though he didn’t actually pull it out yet.  He glanced at Worf and saw that the Klingon had indeed drawn his.  Standing there was a burgundy colored pony with a brown mane and tail.  On its flank was the insignia of a Starfleet officer, along with four solid yellow pips underneath it, all of which was overlaid onto a field of black that covered most of the pony’s flank.  All of that, combined with the voice, led Riker to only one conclusion.  “Q?”
“In the flesh,” said Pony-Q.  “What do you think?  How do I look?”
“Utterly ridiculous,” said Worf.
“No more so than you always do, Mr. Worf, I’m sure,” said Pony-Q, mild annoyance in his voice.  “At least I fit in here.  Anyway, what are you all waiting for?  You should have reached the town ages ago!”
“We’re trying to determine the best way to go about making first contact here,” said Riker, annoyed.  “Isn’t that why you sent us here?”
“I sent you here to make contact, yes,” said Pony-Q.  “I didn’t send you here to slink around in the woods merely thinking about doing it someday!  And I intend to do something about that.”  Before Riker could say anything in response, Pony-Q suddenly galloped forward toward the town and loudly called out, “Look, everypony!  We have visitors from another land!”  Riker noticed that, for some unknown reason, Q was subtly disguising his voice somewhat from his normal one as he addressed the ponies.
“Dammit, Q!” the first officer hissed, as ponies stopped in their tracks and looked in the direction that the voice had come from, which meant, of course, that they were looking directly at the away team.  A murmur of questions could be heard.  Riker sighed.  “Well, I guess there’s no point in being so discreet any longer.”  He stood up straight and slowly approached one of the larger groups of ponies, the rest of the away team following along behind him.  He stopped a safe distance away, and held up a hand in greeting.  “My name is Commander William Riker, of the Federation starship Enterprise.  We are here to visit and learn about this place and its people.  We mean you no harm.  Is there someone here in a position of authority with whom we may speak?”
At first, the ponies didn’t respond and merely watched the new arrivals while whispering amongst themselves.  More and more ponies arrived as the word of the visitors spread like wildfire, but none of them made any moves to approach the away team.  Riker remained patiently silent.  He’d already announced himself, and now the ball was in their court.  After a short while, however, there was a small commotion at the back of the growing crowd of ponies.
“Make way, please!” said a voice, and the ponies moved aside.  The away team watched as a tan pony with gray mane and tail and the image of a bound scroll on her flank made her way to the front of the assemblage.  “Oh my,” she said when she caught sight of the away team.  She slowed her pace and cautiously walked up to them.  “Um, hello,” she said when she was a few feet away.  “It, uh, is my pleasure to welcome you to Ponyville!  You may address me as Miss Mayor or simply the Mayor, though some ponies call me Mayor Mare, and that’s fine, too.  If I may ask, from where do you hail?”
Riker nodded and decided that absolute honesty would be the best policy.  “My name is Commander William Riker.  We come from the Federation starship Enterprise, which is currently in orbit around this planet.”
“Starship?  In… orbit?” said the Mayor, glancing momentarily upward.  “Are… are you saying you come from… another world?”
“That is correct,” said Riker.  “We are part of the United Federation of Planets.  My colleagues and I are members of Starfleet, whose primary mission is to explore the galaxy and seek out new civilizations.  This is why we are here.”  Honesty or not, however, he decided to leave out the part about Q flinging them halfway across the galaxy against their will, at least for the time being anyway.
“Most interesting,” said the Mayor.  “And who are your friends there?”
Riker turned and introduced each of the away team members.  “This is Lt. Commander Data.”  Data nodded once.  “Lt. Worf.”  Worf gave a brief nod as well.  “And this is Counselor Deanna Troi.”  Troi smiled and raised a hand in greeting.
The Mayor nodded to each in turn then looked at Riker again.  “Well… it’s not everyday that we have visitors from another planet, you know.  Hmm, I’m not sure there’s a standard protocol for this sort of thing at all.”
A voice from the back of the crowd that sounded suspiciously like that of Q said, “Well, aside from the party that Pinkie Pie throws for all newcomers, anyway.  That’s pretty standard.”  There was a smattering of laughter at this.  Riker and Troi smiled politely though they obviously had no idea who Pinkie Pie was.  Worf bristled slightly at the mention of a party, especially since the suggestion had apparently come from Q.
The Mayor shrugged and said, “Well, I honestly can’t think of a better way for us to become better acquainted with you than at one of Pinkie’s parties.  If you’ll follow me, I’ll bring you to Sugarcube Corner and introduce you to her.”
Riker glanced at Troi and she smiled again.  “I sense no ill intent whatsoever,” she whispered.  “Quite the opposite, in fact.”
Riker nodded and turned back to the Mayor.  “Very well.  That sounds like a good idea.  Please, lead the way.”  The Mayor turned and started walking back the way she had come and the away team followed, with a large cluster of ponies following them that only got larger and larger the farther they went.  As Riker looked around, he noticed that Pony-Q, after making the suggestion about the party, had since vanished entirely.



“Oooh, this is good,” said Q.  He clapped his hands and stood up from Troi’s chair.  “A Pinkie Pie party!  How wonderful!  I’m glad I thought of it.”
“What the devil are you talking about, Q?” said Picard.
“Oh, that’s right,” said Q.  “You aren’t able to see what’s going on, are you?  I guess I should do something about that, actually.”  He regarded the main view screen speculatively.  “Yes, that should do nicely.”  He snapped his fingers and a large burst of light and sound appeared on the view screen.  When it faded away, the panorama of the planet from orbit had been replaced with a view of the proceedings on the planet below.  It was as though there was a camera floating a few feet behind and above the away team as they were walking through the town.
“You’ll also be able to hear everything that goes on as well,” said Q.  “If you want to talk to them, though, you’ll have to use your communicators, as usual.”
Picard watched in fascination as the away team walked through the town, surrounded by a multitude of multi-colored ponies.  “There’s certainly a much larger variety in the color of their coats and manes than there is on Earth,” he mused.
“You haven’t seen the half of it,” said Q, a smirk on his face.
“Their eyes seem much larger and more expressive than those of horses on Earth.  And… what are those marks on their flanks?” asked Picard.  “Every one of them has a different marking.  Some of the smaller ponies don’t seem to have them, however.”
“Those are called cutie marks,” said Q.  “When a pony matures, these marks appear on their flanks.  They signify to the world whatever it is that makes that pony special and unique, be it a talent or just something they really enjoy doing.  Usually, it means a calling in life, though a pony isn’t bound by this, of course.  They aren’t always obvious as to their meanings, and it’s all very symbolic and such.  So yes, that’s cutie marks, in a nutshell.”
“I… see,” said Picard.
“Ooh, ooh!  Something interesting is about to happen,” said Q excitedly.
“What-” began Picard, but Q shushed him.
“Shh, I want to hear this!” said Q.  “It should be good.”
Picard glared at Q with narrowed eyes for a moment, but then turned them back to the screen.  He had to admit that, despite himself, he was finding this to be a rather fascinating experience.



“I KNEW IT!” shouted a voice from somewhere to Riker’s left.  He turned and saw a light green pony with a light blue/white striped mane and tail.  This pony had a horn on her head, as well.  On her flank was what appeared to be a golden harp or perhaps a lyre.  The pony was staring at the away team with eyes widened in shock and something akin to glee.  “I was right!  They do exist!  I knew it!”  Then, the pony swooned and staggered to the side.  She would have fallen entirely if another pony, this one a cream colored pony with a blue/pink striped mane and tail and what appeared to be wrapped pieces of candy on her flank, hadn’t caught the unicorn and held her up.  Riker instinctively started forward to help the pony, but the Mayor stopped him.
“She’ll be all right,” said the Mayor, with a bit of a sigh.  “It’s just that… well… this is probably more of a shock to her than it is even to the rest of us.”
“How so?” asked Troi.
“Well, um,” said the Mayor.  “I hope you don’t take offense to this, but, to us, humans are nothing more than the stuff of myths and legends.  Poor Lyra there just takes those old stories more seriously than most do.  Although, given your arrival here, I suppose that means the rest of us should start taking them more seriously ourselves…”
Riker shared a glance with the rest of the away team and noted that they were as surprised by this as he was.  “Wait, so you’re saying that you know of humans already?  How is that possible?”
“Commander,” said Data, “is it not also true that unicorns and pegasi are considered to be myths and legends on Earth as well?  And yet, as we can plainly see, here they are.”
The Mayor’s eyes widened at this.  “Is that so?  We’re myths to you just the same as you are to us?”
Riker looked at her for a moment, and said, “Well, yes, that is true.  But, even so, I don’t understand how we could be the stuff of myths for the people of this world and vice versa.  That’s too much to be a coincidence.”
Troi looked around at the assembled ponies, taking special note of the ones with horns or wings.  “Is it possible that there was some sort of interaction between the two worlds at some point in the past of both?”
“How could that be?” said Worf, uneasily.  “This planet and Earth are almost fifty thousand light years apart from one another.  No other Federation ship has ever made it out this far, until now.”
The Mayor frowned and said, “I have a question.  You keep saying ‘Earth.’  Is that the name of your world?”
Riker nodded, but then corrected himself.  “Well, it’s the name of my world, anyway.  Counselor Troi is from a planet called Betazed, Mr. Worf comes from a planet called Qo'noS, and Mr. Data was constructed on a planet called Omicron Theta.”
“Wait… constructed?!” asked the Mayor.  “What do you mean by that?”
“I am an android,” said Data.
This didn’t alleviate the Mayor’s confusion in the slightest.  “I don’t know what that word means.”
“I am an autonomous machine that was built by humans in their likeness,” explained Data.  “An android.”
“Er…” said the Mayor.  “So, you’re like a… like a wind-up toy?  A clockwork creature of some sort?”
“My internal components do not run by clockwork mechanisms, nor do I need to be… wound up, but the analogy will suffice,” said Data.
“Absolutely amazing,” said the Mayor, then she shook her head.  “Oh, but I got distracted from what I was going to ask.  About Earth.  Your planet is called Earth… but, um, I am what you would call an earth pony.  Well, that wasn’t really a question I guess.”
Riker raised an eyebrow.  “An earth pony?”
“It’s one of the four pony races on this world,” said the Mayor, “along with the unicorns, the pegasi, and the alicorns.”
“Alicorns?” asked Troi.
“There are only a very rare few alicorns in existence.  Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, who rule Equestria, are among them,” said the Mayor.  “They have the physical attributes and abilities of the other three races combined, and then some.  I’m sure they will be most interested to meet with you soon.  As for us earth ponies… oh, but look, here we are at Sugarcube Corner!”  She turned to the gathered crowd that had been following them and said, “Okay, everypony.  Let’s return to our business for the time being.  We don’t want to smother our visitors so soon after they’ve arrived.  There will be plenty of opportunity to meet them at the official gathering later.”  With some grumbling, the crowd reluctantly started to disperse.
The away team looked at the building before then with mild surprise.  The whole thing was built to look as through it were made out of cake and frosting.
“It appears to be a confectionary establishment,” said Data.  “I do not believe that I have ever seen one that so closely resembles the goods being sold, however.”
“That’s right,” said the Mayor.  “The Cakes run the place, and Pinkie Pie lives with them and helps out.  Well, shall we go inside?  I know that she’ll be more than delighted to meet you.”
Riker looked around at the other away team members and then nodded.  “When in Rome, as they say.”
“Commander,” said Data quizzically, “we are not in Rome.”
“It’s… just an expression, Data,” said Troi, attempting to stifle her grin.
Data tilted his head for a moment, and then said, “Ah.  I understand.  Then… we should indeed do as the Romans do.”
Troi smiled at him and nodded, then turned to the Klingon.  “Coming, Mr. Worf?”
“If I must,” muttered Worf darkly.  “This place looks much too… festive… for my taste.”
“Buck up, Lieutenant,” said Riker, grinning.  “A little bit of levity won’t kill you, will it?”
“I… suppose not,” Worf conceded.  He followed Troi and Data inside while Riker held the door for them.
Meanwhile, the Mayor was already addressing Mrs. Cake.  The blue earth pony’s eyes widened when she saw who had followed the Mayor in.  “Hello, Cup,” said the Mayor.  “Is Pinkie Pie available, or is she out with her friends?”
Mrs. Cake stared wide-eyed at the away team for bit, before shaking her pink striped mane out of her eyes and turning to the Mayor.  “She’s just upstairs, tucking the twins in for their afternoon nap-time.  She should be back down in a bit.”  Her eyes drifted back to the away team.  “So, uh…”
“Ah yes,” said the Mayor.  “These are visitors from the… er… what did you say your ship was called again?”
“The Enterprise,” said Riker.
“Right, the Enterprise,” said the Mayor with a nod.
“But they’re… they’re…” stammered Mrs. Cake.
“Not from this planet, yes,” said the Mayor.  “They’re here on a mission of exploration, and are-”
“Humans!” spat out Mrs. Cake loudly.
“SHHHH!!!” hissed a voice from a door opposite the entrance.  “The foals are sleeping!”  Then the voice returned to normal and said, “Oh hi, Miss Mayor!”  Riker looked toward the newcomer and saw a bright pink pony with a darker pink mane and tail.  The mark on her flank was of three balloons, two blue and one yellow.
“Hello, Pinkie Pie,” said the Mayor.  “I’d like to introduce your to our guests.”
Pinkie Pie noticed the away team for the first time.  Her eyes went super-wide and she screamed “HUMANS!” about three times as loudly as Mrs. Cake had earlier.  At the winces from Mrs. Cake and the Mayor, she cringed and grinned sheepishly.  After twisting her ears back toward the doorway for a moment to make sure she hadn’t awakened the twins, she then hopped over to the away team.
“Wow!  Where did you come from?!  Did you come from the other side of the rainbow like in the old stories?!” said Pinkie.
“Pinkie, I want to-” said the Mayor.
Pinkie Pie was in full on babble mode though, and didn’t hear her.  “What’s it like there?!  Oooh, I bet it’s super fun!  Can I visit?!  Oh, but I have to go tell my friends right away!  They’d never let me hear the end of it if I went off to visit the human world without telling them first!  I-”
“Pinkie Pie!” said the Mayor forcefully, grabbing Pinkie by the shoulders with both front hooves.
“Oh, sorry,” said Pinkie, grinning again.
“As I was saying, our visitors are here on a mission of exploration from a ship named the Enterprise.  This is Commander Riker,” she said gesturing to Riker, and then she introduced Troi, Data, and Worf in turn as well.  “We’re here because I want you to throw a party for them.  A ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party, if you will.”
“A party?” said Pinkie Pie excitedly.  “You definitely came to the right pony!  I’ll get started right away!  I’ll need streamers and confetti for my party cannon, of course, and then I-”
“Pinkie, no,” said the Mayor.  “No party cannon.  I want this to be a bit more… subdued than your usual affairs.  I want a simple soirée, where ponies can come and meet with our visitors in a comfortable setting.”
“Well, okay,” said Pinkie, with a tinge of disappointment.  “I guess I can tone it down a teensy bit.”
“And that also means no pranks,” said the Mayor sternly.
“Aw, how boring,” said Pinkie with a pout.
“Pinkie,” said the Mayor again, looking her in the eye carefully.
“All right, all right,” Pinkie groused.  “No pranks, just lots of food and drinks.  Can I at least set up some games?”
“No games, Pinkie,” said the Mayor.  “Simple, I said!”
“Aw,” said Pinkie.  “This isn’t going to be much of a party!”
“Pinkie, please, just this once?” said the Mayor.  “You can throw wild, boisterous parties whenever you want, but how often do you get a chance to plan a more sedate get together?  Think of this as a challenge.”
Pinkie sighed heavily and said, “All right.  I’ll take your challenge!  I may not like it, but I’ll do my best.  Oh, but it’ll be really really really difficult.”  She started toward the door.  “Hmm, I doubt Octavia and her group will be available on such short notice, but maybe I can swing by their place and see if Vinyl’s free this evening, at least.”
“No, Pinkie!  No band and no DJ!” said the Mayor.  “Simple!  Quiet!”
“Oh come on!” said Pinkie, stopping at the door and turning back to the mayor in frustration.  “This is going to be even worse than the Grand Galloping Gala!  Even that had music at least!  Argh!”  She paused and took a few deep breaths.  “Okay… well, this might take a bit longer to put together than one of my usual parties, then.  I’m not entirely sure how to go about setting up such a snore-fest.  Oh, I know!  I’ll go ask Twilight Sparkle!  I’m sure she’ll know what to do!”  With that, Pinkie hurried out the door.
The away team shared glances with one another and the Mayor.  Worf grumbled, “Is that one always so… frantic?”
The Mayor smiled sympathetically.  “Eh heh heh… you get used to it after a while.  But she really is the best party planner around.  It’s just that she tends to go a bit, um… overboard… at times.”
“That’s putting it mildly,” said Mrs. Cake.  “Well now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go start baking up some desserts for this party.”  That said, she turned and went back into the kitchen, leaving the away team alone with the Mayor.
Data said, “Pardon me, Miss Mayor, but this is twice now that we have heard mention of the name Twilight Sparkle.”
“Oh, yes,” said the Mayor, with a smile.  “Twilight Sparkle, such a lovely filly she is.  She’s one of Pinkie Pie’s closest friends.  She runs the library and even lives there as well, actually.  Oh, and she’s also a personal student of Princess Celestia herself!  She moved here from Canterlot - that’s our capital city in the mountain to the northeast - around two years ago or thereabouts.”
“That would explain why the ponies here seem to revere her as a source of information and advice,” said Data.  “Would it be possible for us to meet with her at some point?”
“Yes, she’s very smart, that one,” said the Mayor, nodding.  “And I’m sure she’ll definitely be here at the party later, so you can meet her then.”
“We look forward to it,” said Troi.



“Oh what a total bore that Mayor is!” said Q, sighing heavily.  “It pains me deep in my soul to see such restraints put upon poor Pinkie Pie.  She should be unbound!  Free from the shackles of the common man and pony!”  He turned to Picard.  “We’re kindred spirits, you know, she and I.”
Picard tried very hard to think of something to say that would be insulting enough to Q without being too unfair to the pink pony he’d just witnessed on the view screen, but ultimately decided it would be best to just remain silent.
Q nodded as though he’d just made up his mind about something.  “Ah well.  I suppose it’ll have to be up to me to inject a little life into what will otherwise be a dreadfully dull party.”
“What are you planning, Q?” said Picard warily.  Q smiled and opened his mouth to speak, but Picard cut him off.  “No, let me guess.  ‘You’ll see soon enough,’ right?”
“You’re a quick learner, Jean-Luc,” said Q with a wide, toothy grin.
Picard just sighed in resignation.