High above the tallest towers of Canterlot, shining light on the warped and distorted buildings of the royal city, was the Sun. It just... Stood there, being predictable and boring. Why couldn't at random time intervals dip behind the horizon, just to emerge after a few minutes, maybe in a completely different position? And it would have been so easy to make that possible, after all. There was barely any limit to his power; any outcome he could imagine was no further than a snap of his fingers. Slowly, taking his time, he started raising his left forearm, getting its claws dangerously close to each other. He could do it, he really could. He just had to...
"Your Super-duper Highness!" Chirping with her sweet voice, Pinkie Pie appeared seemingly from nowhere. He could not remember any other pony capable of startling him as she did. One moment earlier -and he was fairly sure- there was no one but him in the large throne room, and now she was mere from him. The large, decorated door standing firmly at the entrance had certainly not moved by a single inch. But having known the pink mare for many years, he had long ceased to try making sense of such frivolities. So he sighed as she, in a few quick bounces, came to be right in front of him, her magenta mane still bouncing slightly due to the previous motion. Her smile was as large as always, but her tone was as firm as it was playful: "You know you can't do that!"
Discord looked at his own talon for just a moment, to his claws ready to snap, ready to alter reality in unimaginable ways. Quickly, with just a quick gesture of his right paw, he grabbed and then detached the left arm as if it was that of a doll, quickly hiding it behind his back. He tried to mimic an innocent smile, whistling softly for a moment, and made an halo over on his head. The whole act made him look nothing but more and more guilty: "I have no idea what you are talking about, Pinkie!"
Pinkie giggled briefly, and then looked straight at Discord eyes with a knowing look, sporting an understanding smile of her own "It's the Sun again, isn't it?"
The Draconeequs tried to keep his eyes on her, but after a few moments looked. "It's the Sun. Again", Discord sighed, putting the left arm back in its natural position, and then screwing it in in place with a few quick turns. He went on talking as if that was the most normal thing. "I can't help. It's just so... Boring!"
A dissatisfied, grumpy expression was appearing in Discord's face. Nothing good would come if the semi-omnipotent King started to pout again. Luckily, Pinkie Pie knew exactly what to do, and so she spoke again, with her most soothing tone: "Now, now... We can find a solution, can't we?"
Discord face loosened a bit, and his attention went back to the Pink Pony, cracking a small smile. He really hoped something fun could come out of this. "Well, Royal Advisor Pinkamena Diane Pie..." He tried to look a bit more dignified now, and a crown paired with a huge white wig appeared on his head, as he pointed at her a golden sceptre with a depiction of his own head at its end. The golden mouth of the sceptre moved next, projecting the Draconeequs voice "What dost thou suggest?"
"Mmmh..." her expression was now pensive. It was not easy to strike a balance between fun, the kind of fun Discord wanted, and the rules that he was subject to. Not that they could be enforced, there was no force in Equestria above its own, but he agreed to them, and he made a vow not to break them. Unless for some reasons he became really, really annoyed. It happened only twice in the years Pinkie spent as a Royal Advisor, but it wasn't pretty. "What about painting a silly face over it?"
Discord caressed its beard for a few moments. "Not bad, not bad at all!" He did choose her for a reason, didn't he? That sounded actually like fun. Sure, most people would barely notice, as they don't often look directly at the sun (pony eyes can't manage to do that for long), but the star would often pass at the edge of their field of vision. They wouldn't be able to shake off the feeling something was wrong, not without actually looking better at the sun... And at the same time, it wasn't damaging for agriculture or for pony livelihood, so his subjects wouldn't have much to complain about.
"Did someone order a silly face?" Suddenly, a delivery boy uniform appeared on Discord body, and in his talon, he was holding a pizza box, which was opened right away. his forearm sprung out of it, and its claws made a strong snapping sound. The unflattering depiction of a pony face, with a dumb expression and the tongue sticking out, appeared immediately on the sun. Discord looked quite satisfied by its own artwork, despite the simplicity of it all.
Quickly, Pinkie Pie rushed to the closest window to try sneaking a peek of the sun through the stained glass. A silly pair of pink sunglasses fell on her muzzle, thanks to another intervention of her king. Still, even with this protection, she didn't look but for a moment. Then she jumped back to the throne "Is that the representative of Fillydelphia?"
"Why, yes!" Now he wore a painter's apron, and held a palette in his talon and a matching brush in his paw "I'm quite talented at this." He looked at its own artwork again and the large smile on his face shined for a moment. But then, slowly, it turned to a frown. Thinking of that mare wasn't a good choice, after all. His tone of voice became suddenly quite serious, too, as he started complaining to his advisor. "She attempted to my life, today! Can you believe it?!"
Pinkie eyes widened, and she blinked twice in surprise. "What?" it was such a foreign concept that she could even conceive it. In her entire lifespan, there wasn't a single such attempt. With Discord as a king, it would have been futile anyway. Besides, when the Fillydelphia delegation met with the King, Pinkie was present, and nothing that extreme had happened. So, after thinking about it briefly, it was with no little surprise that she answered: "Actually, I can't!"
"Oh, she did." With wide, theatrical gestures he made appear some boardgame right in front him, floating in between him and his advisor. In his talon, there were a bunch of cards. "It was Fillidelphia's mayor, in the meeting room..." He glanced at some notes that had just appeared in his paws "With... Boredom!" He threw its notes away, dramatically, while his face showed obvious signs of annoyance. Pinkie couldn't stand seeing him like that.
"Yeah, it could have gone better..." And that was putting it mildly. It was the worst meeting in a while. In her defence, the mare was quite new at this, being only recently elected. Apparently, she didn't understand well enough how important it would be to keep Discord entertained throughout the whole affair. A few jokes weren't enough to have her requests granted, especially such a boring request. She should learn a thing or two from Trottingham mayor, which a few months prior had managed to fit 146 puns in about thirty minutes of presentation. It's no wonder Trottingham yearly budget increased by 40% overnight, that time.
"it could have gone better?" Discord glared for a moment in Pinkie Pie direction. His gaze soon softened at the sight of her, but his voice didn't: "Two hours of meeting to set the schedule for this summer chocolate milk rain? My beloved chocolate milk rain! It almost became boring, thanks to her!" According to her, chocolate wasn't the ideal nourishment for crops, so she wanted to reduce the yearly amount slightly. Absurd! And once she failed to convince the King, she had tried to craft a very complicated daily schedule down the minute, trying to mitigate the damages. As the whole thing was too boring to even pay attention to it, Discord ended up deciding the timetable basically at random. maybe the crops would have not been great, or enough to feed everypony, but what about it? He was the lord of Chaos! With a few chaotic spells, he could easily create a few giant living vegetables. A small smirk appeared on his face as he imagined Fillydelphia's ponies having to hunt them down, but the thought was not enough to keep him entertained for more than a few moments. Boredom was still creeping on him.
Seeing him like that, Pinkie immediately started thinking of some good news to relieve her king with. It didn't take long to remember the reason she was there. It was perfect "Your super-duper highness, you should be happier at this time of the year!" A huge grin on appeared her face, and her overall demeanour was now full of excitement: "It's exactly fourteen days from now", she chirped enthusiastically.
"Something is going to happen? Fourteen days from now? Uhm... "he started caressing his beard, as a pensive look appeared on his muzzle. Excluding the days in which he could go on the loose with its randomness (once a week, in the day that was once called Sunday) and the nice conversations with the few fun ponies that he had in its court he didn't really look up to anything anymore. Every day was more or less the same: pointless meetings, pointless decisions, and then the access to the best enjoyments the Canterlot elite could imagine... But not even that meant much to him. Something special, she said? "I can't think of anything"
"It's the anniversary of your reign!" She was almost surprised he didn't remember. But again, it wasn't the first time. "And not any anniversary, it's the 1000th one! I can't even imagine, like, so many years!" She was a little older than 20. Discord reigned lasted about 50 times more. It was an incredibly special occasion, and she really wanted to make it more special still! And then she quickly caught herself "Oh, I'm not saying you are old or anything, but..."
Discord cut her off dismissively, "Oh yeah, there's that..." And his expression didn't change even one bit. Pinkie's excitement wasn't shared by Discord, not at all.
"But... But..." at the same time, Pinkie mane was quickly deflating, and her expression saddening considerably. Two small tears were forming at the sides of her eyes. "I'm putting a lot of effort in organizing it. I don't want to ruin the surprise, but it will be, like, the best party ever!" She would have to ask to enlarge the town, even more than the previous year. She was thinking of an unprecedented scale. How is some half the population of Equestria there, to start with? And then hundreds of tonnes of tasty treats, rivers of fizzy drinks and basically a show with all the best musicians and showmen of the land. "I just... really want you to have fun" She lowered her eyes a bit, sad. she had no words to convey how much she cared for him.
"Sorry, sorry Pinkie" She didn't want to have her cry, he understood that the party meant a lot to her. But for him? "The celebration was nice when I just became King. Everything was novel, then!" Now? He went through more of those celebrations than any mortal could. 15 times more. "After the first 100 celebrations, it just wasn't the same. I'm even surprised I managed to keep the job for this long!" So many times he thought of dropping everything and go away. Or go back to his old, even more chaotic ways. He managed to keep his sanity (if it could be called such) by introducing something new every few years. Like mandating some new weird fashion idea, creating some dumb celebration or banning the letter F for a while, just to spice things a bit. Those were all fun times, but they were somehow overdue "I need some new Ideas".
"I'm doing my part here, you know..." Pinkie's mane started inflating again. It was not about her now, it was about Discord. Being sad would certainly not help to make him happy "I'm organizing some huge new things for the party..." She looked at Discord with a smile "But even I can't compete with the God of Chaos in breaking the mold!" She tried to encourage him. He just needed to stop moping around and just be his usual self, the discord she enjoyed so much being with. "Just...Try thinking of something you never did! Yet."
With its powers and the rule over the land, despite the limitations on his actions he agreed to, Discord had managed to try much more than anypony could even conceive. But it was true that he still hadn't exhausted all its possibilities. "The boring nobleponies I met the other day might have given me an idea..." Considering... That? It was surprising even to himself, absurd even."What do you think of..." He swallowed, hard. He carefully avoided the M word for all his life. Putting any kind of chain, even a metaphorical one, around himself seemed like a terrible idea. But now? Even that could introduce some novelty! "Marriage?"
"Marriage?" the word resounded in the pink pony mind for a few moments. She heard that clearly, but she had a very hard time processing that. Stars appeared in her eyes, two small tears of happiness. her very voice was shking a little. "You... You really mean that?" It was sudden, it was unexpected, and it could have been more romantic. But still, she knew she would remember it as the happiest moment in her life. Yet. "I thought you were more of the adventurous type..." She jokingly commented, before going back to her overexcited self "But... but I think it's fantastic!"
"Why, I am..." he was quite the playcolt many years ago, at least according to himself, but he never sought anything more serious. "This is going to be new to me. Really new." A smile appeared on his face, he was regaining his confidence. "And I might really need your help with this whole 'marriage' thing" Pinkie was excitedly nodding at his every word, which encouraged him to go on: "It is set, then!" His mind was made up. It was crazy... But crazy was exactly his cup of tea. And worst case scenario, if things went south divorce was still a thing. "Now I only have to choose the mare!"
Pinkie face was, for a few moments, as if paralyzed. did he really just say that? "The... Mare?" Seriously? Pinkie pie ears started lowering slightly, her mane deflating a little bit too.
Discord didn't even notice, though. He was too caught in his own thoughts, now. "Or... The stallion, sure." He nodded, decidedly, before showing an eloquent smile: "You never know."
"You have no one on your mind?" She winked at him with force. Her voice was now playful as ever, but definitely softer, warmer, and flirtier. "Really?" All while hoping his dense majesty would get the hint.
"Uhm..." He thought about it for a moment, intensely. But in the end, it was a really easy answer to give "No."
It wasn't meant to be. Pinkie sighed, but she wasn't disheartened. "Are you sure?" She winked again, more obviously if possible. She was trying to be at her most seductive, her most tantalizing. The hint was so obvious that even the maid that was cleaning the corridor outside the room and a soldier that was patrolling nearby both started to feel the lingering awkwardness, even without knowing what was happening. "Maybe some mare really close to you?"
"Ah" he patted his forehead with his paw, showing a sheepish smile. Despite considering himself among the smartest creatures in the land, sometimes he could certainly be oblivious. Good think he caught himself in time "You mean Mi Amore?" it was so obvious after all!
"Yeaaah..." Pinkie Pie rolled her eyes, as despair started to mount within her. She managed to hide that behind a wall of soft sarcasm, though, despite some of her sadness still managing to filter through. "I totally meant Cadence"
"Those noble guys suggested her too." Once again, though, Discord didn't realize. he went on without missing a beat "marrying an alicorn princess would be good for my image yadda yadda yadda." It was always the same, old argument. Traditions, they said. But it couldn't work out. " I have met her when she was too young. Like, not even two years older then you were when I met you. Thinking of her like that would be just... Weird!" Cadence would always be like a nephew to him. Anything different was off the table, simply too gross to consider.
"I see" Pinkie sighed. She would have liked to have the courage to tell Discord what was on her mind. She would have thrown herself at him, even... If that was necessary. But she just couldn't bring herself to do it. She was an honest, confident mare, usually. But right now, in front of him, she was neither: "How do you think of going about the choice?"
this thought took a little be more to be formulated, but it seemed to him that there was an easy, obvious solution: "I think I will have the prettiest mares -and most handsome stallions- from each town sent to me, then I'll choose. A bit classic maybe, but seems functional." Yes, he could see the scene. Some kind of pageant, maybe trying to measure how fun the bride (or groom) could be. He was more than capable to put his own twist on the whole thing. Thinking about it, he was kind of excited. For the first time in a while, the boredom was nowhere to be found. "There's not much time, now. Do you think you can arrange to have them all here in less than a week?"
It was a difficult request, even an unreasonable one. She also had to think about the celebration, which took a large portion of her time. Adding a whole, unprecedented royal marriage in the mix would complicate things a lot. But seeing Discord so excited, so eager, just melted her heart. She just wanted him to be happy. "Okie dokie loki!" She feigned a big smile, which somehow managed to convince and reassure Discord "Leave everything to me!" She started moving toward the door, giving Discord another look "I better get started immediately!" The news could still reach every town before sunset. That would be a great headstart! "I have plenty of ideas!" Some which she was keeping for her own marriage, but it wasn't bound to happen now.
"Thank you Pinkie, I can always count on you!" He waved at her happily, while she vanished from his sight. He now had all the time he needed to anticipate what the marriage be like, fantasizing about her bride-to-be, as for many hours ahead he was free from the grasp of responsibilities.
At the same time, on the other side of the door, there was Pinkie Pie. To her great disappointment, she realized she had just lied to his majesty. She said she would start right away, but that was a promise she couldn't keep. She needed 5 minutes, maybe 10. Just the time to cry a little bit, to fix her now fully straight mane and to let go of all her regrets. Then she would go back to her work, as efficient as ever. There was so much to do, and so little time. Soon she would be able to pick herself up, to go through all of that for his sake. But for now, down on the red carpet, she only had the strength to sob and whisper to herself:
"Discord... this will be the best marriage ever. Pinkie promise!"