Celia stepped out of the portal and into a new world with Blink, Squiddy, and Cinder behind her. It had been a while since she’d led an exploration team out to a new world and she was looking forward to stretching her legs. Somewhere deep inside her she hoped there wouldn't be a need for endless political debate - it’d be nice to find a world where things were simple, for once.
This was a feeling shared by most politicians in Merodi Universalis. When you operate in a system that actively tries to cut down on bureaucracy, a sharp distaste for the annoying substance festers…
Seeing that the world contained a seemingly standard Ponyville, she was both relieved and mildly disappointed. On one hoof this wouldn’t be complicated. On the other it was… well, more of the same.
Squiddy gave her usual. “Ugh, again!?” There was a follow-up rant that Celia tuned out, seeing as she’d heard it thousands upon thousands of times already. Given Cinder’s expression, even she had heard it enough times to understand how annoying it was.
Unlike the rest of the Sweeties, however, the innocent unicorn was of the mind Squiddy could be changed with a talking to.
“You know you don’t have to complain so much,” Cinder said.
Squiddy glanced at her. “Yeah, I know. But I also know I like complaining.”
“Well, no one else does.”
“I’m sorry no one else feels the need to blow off some steam from being constantly subjected to this boring, normal, boring, tasteless, boring, rural, boring place!”
Not a second, not even a nanosecond passed after Squiddy’s rant ended when a black and white blur dropped out of the sky and slammed into the earth. When the dust cleared, the Sweeties were gobsmacked to see Thunderlane’s bottom half sticking out of a pit with his hind legs twitching. Even more surprising was Bulk Biceps, wearing a grey cloth around his flanks, pose and flex with a dominating ‘YEAH’ before suddenly shooting back into the air.
Squiddy, after a few moments of dull-eyed staring, raised her index finger. “I think-”
A frightening roar ripped through the air as Bulk Biceps reappeared, plummeting from a great height with a wagon in tow.
“WAGON-OWAH!!”
Following the expected impact that sent dirt clumps flying through the air, Bulk Biceps proceeded to pummel the wagon deeper into the pit. Somehow, this made it catch on fire and explode.
Bulk Biceps grunted and flexed in accomplishment before jumping out of view.
Thunderlane dug himself out of the flaming pit a second later, casually waved at the slack-jawed Sweeties like nothing was amiss, and gave chase. “Hey, no fair! Wagons are OP!”
“...Still think it’s boring?” Cinder asked with a coy grin.
“We need to get out of here,” Squiddy said, no hint of humor in her voice. “We need to go back, and tell Suzie nothing.”
Cinder cocked her head. “What?”
“I agree,” Blink said, nodding vigorously. “Let’s go before she figures out. Say it was a regular Ponyville and we felt bored. Technically the truth, eh?”
“WHAT!?”
“You know she’ll find out eventually, right?” Celia said. “Nothing you two do is going to change that.”
“Well we need to try or else she’s going to do her thing! And nobody wants that!”
“Please, it’s harmless,” Celia muttered.
Cinder twitched. “Can somepony explain to me wh-”
A hammer embedded itself in the ground right in front of Cinder, shutting her up. “Sorry about that!” A version of Cloud Chaser said, picking up the hammer and throwing it at a Cheerilee. “TAKE THAT! You shall never subject another pony to such horrible lesson plans again!”
“Leaving,” Squiddy said, picking up Cinder and hurling her back through the portal. They quickly closed the portal behind them.
There was silence in Swip.
Blink wiped her brow. “Whew, that was close. Swip, find us another world, we’ll make our report on that one later. ...Maybe it’ll have worn off by then…”
“What will have worn off?”
Blink turned to look at Suzie with a completely calm and collected grin. “Nothing, just a case of boredom.”
Squiddy nodded in agreement.
Cinder looked Suzie in the eyes. “The ponies on the other side were attacking each other with ridiculously over the top powers and nopony was getting hurt.”
Squiddy and Blink looked at her like she was a traitor. Celia just laughed. “Told you she’d find out.”
Slowly, Suzie’s expression shifted from suspicious to elated. She slowly clasped her hands together and started uncharacteristically giggling like a little girl. “Today is going to be amazing. NIRA! SEREN! WE’VE GOT A FUN ANIME WORLD!” She ran out of the ring room squealing. “Where’s my outfit? We’re joining in on the action!”
“Look what you’ve done,” Squiddy muttered.
Cinder gave her a confused look. “What? What did I do? She looks happy!”
“Prepare to see a side of Suzie that’ll shake your faith in her, Cinder…” Blink sighed. “She’s going to act very, very undignified.”
“It’s best to watch with popcorn, dear,” Celia told Cinder. “Just lay back and enjoy the show.”
“...Huh?”
EPISODE I:
私はあなたが秘密のメッセージを期待していたに違いない - ああ待って。
Watashi wa anata ga himitsu no messēji o kitai shite ita ni chigainai - ā matte.
The Invasion From a World Beyond Imagination!
“Diamond, why did you do it?” Apple Bloom asked, launching into the air with a blast of fire from her hooves. “You proved yourself after Rumble, but then you turned your back on us! Why!?”
“Because I’m better than that!” Diamond Tiara shouted, charging her spiritual energy enough to make the hairs of the Cutie Mark Crusaders stand on end. “I’m better than you!”
Silver Spoon blinked. “I thought you wanted the Chalice thingy?”
“Not now, Silver!”
“Why do you treat your friends this way?” Sweetie pleaded, hoof outstretched. “Silver is like a sister to you!”
“...I am?” Silver asked, not that anypony answered.
Diamond Tiara laughed maniacally. “Don’t you see? That’s why I’m better than you! You see ponies, relationships! I only see the power!” She sent a flurry of squirrel spirits at Sweetie, only for a wall of ice to deflect them - how ice could block intangible ghosts was anypony’s guess.
Scootaloo took her turn, rushing towards Diamond Tiara with a gust of wind at her back. “If you won’t see reason, maybe you’ll see this!”
Diamond Tiara held out a hoof and blew Scootaloo away like a leaf. “You can’t see wind, foal! You should have let Apple Bloom come after me - your power is far too weak to even concern me!”
Scootaloo let out a pained grunt. “I’m sorry… I failed…”
Apple Bloom grimaced and fought back tears. “D-dammit… How could you do that to Scootaloo, Silver Spoon?”
“WHAT?! I didn’t do anything! That was Diamond Tiara!” Silver Spoon shrieked as a hail of icicles were thrown at her. She called on her power… and summoned a giant spoon out of the earth to hide behind. “Uwah! I just wanted to get a milkshake at Sugarcube Corner!”
While Sweetie heroically held off the cowering Silver Spoon, Apple Bloom threw herself at Diamond Tiara with flames wreathing her body. She threw a ball of scorching fire, but Diamond Tiara summoned the spirit of a large sea turtle and rode into the air on its back. With a maniacal laugh, she punched the air, sending ghostly bees at her adversary.
Apple Bloom sneered and backflipped out of the line of fire. “Ain’t nothing gonna stop me from avenging Scootaloo!” Bringing her forehooves together, she channeled her power into a miniature sun and sent it surging forth as a river of red and orange. “Special Move - Throwing Fire!”
Diamond Tiara snorted contemptuously and summoned a great dragon to swallow up the flames. “Fool! Not only do I have more money, better looks, and a smarter mind; I’m more powerful than you can ever imagine!”
“How about using some of that power to help me out?!” Silver Spoon cried, poking out from her cover to shoot off some spoons. “These aren’t even silver!”
Suddenly, a gigantic portal rimmed in red and black energy opened up behind all of them. The eyes of everypony in town were drawn away from their squabbles to stare in awe at the crimson blemish upon reality’s fabric.
Three people walked out - none of whom were ponies. One was a flat creature who didn’t look as though she belonged in this reality. Another was part pony, part some kind of primate in a dress. The two of them were nothing, however, compared to the person who was clearly their leader.
The few ponies who knew what a human was could identify her race easily, but all others were just confused. Her hair was long and flowing, but spiked at the ends, creating a jagged crown upon her forehead. She wore a form-fitting black leather outfit that covered every inch of skin that wasn’t her face - including her fingers, legs, and feet. An open miniskirt hung from her waist, lined with crimson Crusader-shield designs. A peculiar piece of technology was affixed to one of her ears, hanging a translucent red display screen in front of an eye.
Her weapon was a grandiose sword almost as tall as herself. A ruby was embedded in the base of the crimson circuitry lined blade.
All three of them looked vaguely like Sweetie Belle, which was even more curious.
The leader hefted the sword into the air, allowing its tip to glint off the sun. Then she drove it into the ground with a satisfying thunk, embedding a good foot of its length into the ground. It was now the perfect height for the woman to leisurely rest her arms on, like a countertop. She smirked. “Inhabitants of Universe JK-10053R, I am Captain Suzie, and we are the League of Sweetie Belles. I come bearing some news that is excellent if you’re me, but absolutely devastating if you’re not.” She held a hand in the air as if trying to hold the light of the portal in her hand. “Your universe is next on our very, very long list of worlds that need conquering. Your world will be ours - your cities will be turned into factories, your magic made to serve us, and your Sweetie will be forced into the League’s folds.”
She curled her hand into a fist and let out a gleeful laugh. “I will accept your total and unconditional surrender - but, if there were, say, some wannabe ‘heroes’ that wanted to defend their world…” She smiled coyly. “I wouldn’t complain.”
“I will not be your servant!” Sweetie Belle shouted, standing tall - surprising the fillies around her. “I will face you.”
“Yeah!” Apple Bloom said. “You’re gonna have to deal with us, the Cutie Mark Crusaders!”
“Bu- hey!” Diamond Tiara waved her hooves. “We’re in the middle of something!”
“Bigger fish to fry Diamond, sorry!” Scootaloo said, clearly not sorry in the slightest. The three crusaders trotted toward the League of Sweetie Belles, leaving behind a livid Diamond Tiara.
“Prepare yourself, ‘Suzie,’ if that is your real name!” Sweetie shouted.
“I’m already prepared, and it’s not,” Suzie said. “My name is Sweetie Belle. I - and all those who stand at my side - are you, little one. You cannot hope to fight yourself.”
“But I have my friends! And together we will take you on!”
“Oh, adorable.” Suzie chuckled. “In time you will come to realize the only friend you need…” she snapped her fingers, telling the pony-girl in the dress to go forward. “...Is yourself.”
“Three on one, eh?” Scootaloo asked. “Not exactly fair for her.”
The girl giggled. “Just like home…”
“...What?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Oh, uh,” the girl shook her head and cleared her throat. “I mean, it’s not fair for you! I have had months of experience, you are but fillies to me! Three on one will be a cake walk - ooh cake sounds good...” She hefted her staff into the air. “I am…”
SERENDIPITY BUTLER
Up Way Past Her Bedtime
“...but you can just call me Seren, all my friends do!” With an adorable smile she pointed her scepter at them and unleashed a bright explosion spell.
EPISODE II:
愛らしいことは自分にとってそれほど役に立ちません。
Airashī koto wa jibun ni totte sorehodo yakunitachimasen.
Encounter with an Adorable Wizard.
Sweetie Belle lowered the ice wall she had raised to protect the three of them from Seren’s attack, allowing Apple Bloom to launch a volley of fireballs. Seren quickly raised an arcane shield, catching the fireballs with ease.
“Oh come on, I know you have more in you than that!” Seren egged. “Come on, actually come at me - I won’t bite!”
“You’ll do something else!” Scootaloo called, sending a gust of wind at her. The intention was to have the wind knock her over - but the mini-mage’s hair barely even registered the breeze. “Wh... how!?”
“Isn’t that a fun question?” Seren giggled.
Elsewhere, a mare shouted in worry. “Oh no, Scootaloo’s power is useless!”
Suzie looked down to see Cheerilee standing at her side. “Uh… Hello.”
Cheerilee looked up at her. “Oh, am I not supposed to be here? I just wanted to see what was happening…”
Suzie smirked. “Say - we can run a commentary, after all that’s how things are supposed to go. Right!?”
“My world didn’t have commentary!” Seren called back, jumping beautifully over one of Sweetie’s ice-shard volleys, using the opportunity to hit Apple Bloom with a laser, rolling her around like some kind of pony marble. “It was all about crying and the power of family and stuff!”
“You betray your family by conquest!” Sweetie shouted, sending bursts of ice at Seren, only for her to easily deflect them.
“But they are my family!” Seren said, spreading her arms wide. When nothing hit her, she sighed. “I just gave you an opening, you could have taken it.”
“Uh… what?” Sweetie said, cocking her head.
“Look, your ice works well at long range, try to look for moments when I’m not looking, or have my defenses spread thin - snipe me at the right moment and you might have me.”
“...Thanks!”
Scootaloo tried to kick Seren in the back of the head with a rush of wind, but the gusts easily dissipated. Seren grabbed her by the hoof. “Wh- hey! No fair!”
“Not a great start for your students,” Suzie commented. “Tell me - doesn’t it bother you to just be standing idly by while your students suffer?”
Cheerilee chuckled. “Oh my, no. If I couldn’t stand to see my students suffer, then I wouldn’t give them pop quizzes on Monday mornings.”
Suzie frowned. “Hey, if we’re gonna commentate, then you can’t be more evil than me.”
“Fair enough.”
Seren twisted Scootaloo’s hoof to the side, throwing her right into Apple Bloom. “Scootaloo, you need better control over your power. Apple Bloom, you shouldn’t place yourself in a position where your teammate might trip over you.”
“Aw, gee, thanks,” Apple Bloom muttered, pushing Scootaloo off her. “Next time Ah’ll expect that the filly… kid… thing can suplex a pegasus.” She unleashed a tornado of flame upon Seren, only for it to deflect, doing nothing.
Seren created a magical hand in midair - and swung it at Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, making the two of them flinch. However, it turned out to be a feint, since it whirled around and hit Sweetie while she was charging an ice beam to go right into Seren’s back. “Lesson two, other-me, try to keep yourself from giving an opening when you’re going for an opening.”
Sweetie drove a spike of ice out of the ground and through the magic hand, forcing it to dissipate. “Why are you helping us? You’re supposed to win!”
“...It’s more fun this way?” Seren said with a shrug. “You all seem like good ponies, you just need some tricks. It’d be kind of disappointing if you fell at the first hench-girl anyway. What would have been the point of it all…?”
Scootaloo lit up. “Oh, so just let us win then, we’ll save everyone the trouble!”
Seren raised an eyebrow. Then she created a magic ring under Scootaloo that transmuted a spring into existence, throwing the filly so far into the air the other two couldn’t see her. “But then I wouldn’t get to have any fun!”
“Hm? Why do you suddenly look worried now, Cheerilee?” Suzie asked.
“Scootaloo likes to climb up high things to try and fly,” Cheerilee murmured. “For a second there, I forgot that we don’t really get hurt and… well, I had a little flashback to when she tried to use the school’s slide to achieve terminal velocity.”
“... Did she do it?”
“Almost, surprisingly enough. Though, it looks like she’ll be getting her wish soon enough.”
Scootaloo managed to use her wind and land softly enough not to injure herself - but she still flattened herself like a pancake. “Ow…”
“Your power isn’t as strong as that of your friends,” Seren observed - all the while using a magic shield at her back to effortlessly shrug off the flames and ice.
“Gee, thanks for reminding me…”
“I suspect you have more power in you than you realize. One day, you may unlock it.”
“So I guess I just get to lose until then?”
Seren shrugged. “You could pull something out of nowhere now… but…” She summoned a magic hand to grab Scootaloo and throw her at Applebloom and Sweetie. Sweetie was aware enough to catch her in a slide of ice, gently setting her on the ground below.
“...I think all my back hairs just froze…” Scootaloo said with a shiver.
“We need to figure out somethin’,” Apple Bloom said, lobbing a fireball at Seren, once again easily absorbed. “We ain’t exactly hurtin’ her, and she’s tossin’ us around like ping-pong balls!”
“We should use our special technique!” Scootaloo said.
“On the first minion!?” Sweetie shouted, aghast. “No, we…”
“We’ll figure out somethin’ when we get to them,” Apple Bloom said, standing tall. “Girls, let’s give her the Triple Finish!”
“It’s always exciting to see a special move with its own name, wouldn’t you say, Cheerilee?” Suzie said.
Cheerilee nodded. “Indeed. By giving it a name, you’re simultaneously telling your teammates your intentions with just a few simple words, and you’re putting the enemy on edge. An enemy that is agitated is more likely to make mistakes.”
“Well said,” Suzie gave a thumbs-up. “Speaking of special moves, do you have one?”
“I do. It’s called Detention Headbutt. First, I yell it out, run at the enemy…” She held up her hoof. “Then I punch them really hard.”
The Cutie Mark Crusaders mixed fire, ice, and wind together to create a swirling storm tornado that completely engulfed Seren, the cardboard castle behind Seren, and the wall of a building behind that. She was invisible in the elemental onslaught.
But when the dust cleared, she remained unharmed - she was unsigned and her scepter glowed brighter than ever before.
She winked. “That was pretty cool, good finisher!”
“Like, really hard.” Cheerilee explained.
“N-nothing!?” Scootaloo said, panicked “What are we gonna do now?”
Sweetie narrowed her eyes, glancing at Seren’s glowing scepter. “Seren… you wouldn’t by chance be absorbing our magic, would you?”
“Oh, I definitely am,” Seren said with a chuckle. “You couldn’t hit me with your powers even if you tried harder than your bodies would allow.”
“And what if I tried this?” Sweetie stamped her hoof on the ground, launching a pillar of ice out of the ground - that threw a large rock right into Seren’s face.
A lump formed on her forehead and she stumbled back a few steps. “T-that’d do it… ow… headache…”
“Hit her with indirect attacks, girls!” Sweetie shouted, tossing more rocks at Seren. “If it’s not magic, she’s got nothing on it!”
Seren took to blasting the rocks out of the air with magic lasers, disintegrating them before they arrived.
“Ah got an idea!” Apple Bloom announced, aiming her fire at the ground instead of at Seren. Instead of fizzling out instantly, the fire created more, natural flames on the grass around Seren. Since she was busy with the chilling boulders, she didn’t have time to put out the flames.
“You’ve finally got me on the defensive!” Seren announced. “That’s good! All you have to do is find a way to get at me! C’mon, I’m sure you can think of something!”
Scootaloo used her power to blow a tree over, dropping it right on Seren. There was a dramatic crunch, and the tree lay still.
“Aha!” Suzie fist-pumped. “Have the heroes won? Are they one step closer to giving the final boss an exciting battle?” She turned to Cheerilee. “The final boss is me, by the way.”
Cheerilee gasped in genuine shock.
The tree shook, moving slowly upward. Covered in leaves and sticks, Seren rose - using her magic to lift the tree back up. “Heh… Almost got me! But I’m more resilient tha-”
Sweetie hit her in the back of the head with a large rock. “Butterbread…” Seren said with a giggle, crossing her eyes and passing out.
The tree crashed on her again, which should have heavily injured her, but aside from a few bruises she was completely fine.
“We did it!” Sweetie cheered, pulling her two friends into a hug. “One down!”
“Oh, I’m so proud of them!” Cheerilee clapped her hooves cutely. “They realized that using your powers in the most direct way isn’t always the solution.”
“That’s true, but they’ve still a ways to go before they can get to me. Even farther if they hope to actually beat me,” Suzie chuckled nefariously. “But credit where it’s due… One down, two to go…”
Suzie snapped her fingers, prompting the Flat creature to move forward…
~~~
“...Okay, question,” Cinder said - watching the events from the other side of the ‘evil’ portal. “How is she fine?”
“The world’s under an ‘anime spell’,” Celia explained, a wistful look on her face. “The local Discord likely got bored and wanted everyone to have some ‘over-the-top-combat fun’. Suzie loves these worlds.”
“And makes herself look like an idiot every time,” Blink muttered.
“Wastes time too,” Squiddy agreed.
Cinder looked at Blink and Squiddy and shook her head. “Really? You two aren't enjoying fun battles for no reason? Really?”
“It’s ridiculous,” Blink muttered.
“Blink just doesn't like anime,” Celia explained. “...Anime is a style of universe that focuses on high action whose source material is often from a particular culture called Japan. It creates the kind of things you see out there, except the violence is very real.”
“Anime is dumb,” Blink insisted. “No offense to Seren - she’s cool, but only because she usually leaves that stuff behind.” She glanced outside at the fallen tree. “Usually.”
“At this point Blink’s just set in her ways and thinks it’s ‘improper’,” Celia said with a roll of her eyes.
“O…kay?” Cinder shook her head. “And you, Squiddy?”
“It’s violent. I hate violence.”
Cinder just stared at her.
“Why the hell do you think I carry ink-weapons instead of real ones!?”
“But you’re… you.”
“You can stop judging my preferences based on my ‘personality’ now.”
“...Right...” Cinder turned to Celia. “And why aren’t you out there?”
Celia smiled sadly. “It would be inconvenient with my physiology - much as I would like to, I’m not protected from as much as the rest of you.”
“Why do all our leaders engage in this?” Blink complained. “I mean, really, I know we’re a bunch of crazy Sweeties, but if anyone gets footage of Suzie being the evil overlord that’s not just gonna go away!”
“It’s good for her,” Celia said. “She’s under a lot of stress, being in command. We all need our vacations - this is her version of one.”
“Weaboo,” Squiddy jabbed - though she was smirking slightly.
Cinder nodded. “Well, I support her, if nothing else. A-”
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were standing on the other side of the portal, staring at them.
Cinder blinked. “...How did you get here?”
“You don’t have great security,” Diamond Tiara declared.
Cinder glanced left and right - then figured she might as well play along. “You aren’t allowed here - prepare to face the wrath of the League of Sweetie Belles!”
“I’m not here to fight,” Diamond Tiara said.
“You’re not?” Silver said, surprised.
“No. I’m here to offer my services. Anything to teach those stupid crusaders a lesson. I’ll show them to turn their back on me… Nopony turns their back on me…”
Cinder dropped out of the battle stance. “Oh. Well, in that case… Come on in!”
“Cinder!” Blink hissed.
“Just go to your room or something,” Cinder hissed back. She quickly turned back to Diamond Tiara. “I’ll get you all suited up - assuming Burgerbelle doesn’t just take them out, we’ll be able to give Suzie our assistance. Not that she needs it, you know…”
“Why not?” Silver asked.
“Well, Seren and Burgerbelle aren’t fighting with enhancements,” Cinder explained. “Suzie’s got some, from what I understand. But our goal as her agents is to make sure she never has to use them!”
~~~
Spike the dragon watched the events transpiring at the portal from a safe place in a nearby tree that wasn’t about to be taken out by Scootaloo. His dragon ears were more than capable of listening in on Cinder’s conversation with Diamond Tiara.
Suzie has enhancements, and Diamond’s betrayed ponykind! I have to warn everypony!
There was a flash of light as Celia executed a teleport spell, appearing behind him. “Oh, did you think you were being a stealthy spy? I can see you from in there, easy.”
“HEL-” Celia put a hoof to his mouth, shutting him up.
“Now now, we don’t want them discovering what you’ve just learned do we?” She chuckled ominously. “I’m afraid you’ll have to be our prisoner. Try not to annoy the squid or the ghost, they’re in particularly bad moods at the moment.”