After almost depleting the supply of smelling salts and one Celestia-sized teleport later, they were all in the throne room in Canterlot.
“So, let me get this straight. You two are from an alternate world where being a shapeshifting magic dog is normal, and the humans blew themselves and a big chunk of their planet out of existence with a nuclear bomb meant for a last ditch attempt to save themselves from an evil threat leaving only you?” Twilight had some weird days, and this one took the cake. And most of Sugarcube Corner as well. It even sounded weirder when said out loud!
“Is somepony talking about CAKE?”, screamed Pinkie Pie, party planner extraordinare and the most hyperactive pony in Ponyville. Who, for some strange reason, can read other ponies minds.
“How did you - oh, never mind. So, Finn, Jake. Was I right?” As she said this, a smile started to grow on Twilight’s face.
“Uh, yeah, actually. Wow. Nobody has ever managed to sum up our history in a way that made me feel like we are all idiots.” Finn rubbed the back of his head with a large hoof, looking very uncomfortable. Jake, on the other hoof, was looking bored. So bored, in fact, that he was about to fall asleep.
“Yay!”, Twilight said. “Spike, take a note. Never tell Lyra Heartstrings or Trixie Lulamoon about the humans or what they’ve done.” All of a sudden, out of nowhere, Spike materialised out of nowhere and wrote it down.
“AAHh-oh, that’s a baby dragon. He’s cute!”, said Finn with wide eyes.
Spike blushed. “Thanks. I hear that you’re not from around here. Is this true?”
“Yeah, it is. I’m a human from the Land of Ooo, where we are never in short supply of magic or food people.” As Finn said this, Princess Celestia nodded to the guards and they all left, except Shining Armor.
“I do not think we should discuss this here. Let us move to one of the unused towers. It should be away from prying eyes and ears.” Princess Celestia beckoned with her wing, and everyone followed. As they trotted, Celestia fixed Shining with a look that spoke volumes.
Magic Man was overjoyed. He had done it! He had sent the annoying human boy and his dumb shapeshifting dog away for good! He started jumping around an empty clearing in the middle of the cotton candy forest. Then he stopped.
“Wait. If Finn and Jake are gone, then that means that...” Magic man turned to the Candy Kingdom wearing the most evil grin imaginable (think green grouchy guy in popular Christmas movie). “... I can have some fun! Oh yeah!” And with that, he began jumping around everywhere. Then, all of a sudden, a voice spoke, ringing throughout the clearing.
“Ah, yes. The infamous Magic Man from Mars. Wow, and I thought I lived in a weird universe,” Magic Man whipped his head around wildly, looking for the source of the voice. Fireballs appeared in both of his hands as he readied himself to fight.
“You know, you really give us chaos spirits a bad name with your badness and the evil and-“ Magic Man began to tune out the voice that was somehow both grating and soothing at the same time. He sent out a tracking spell to find where the voice was coming from. He was shocked to find out that the presence was everywhere and nowhere at the same time. This entity truly was remarkable. He tuned back in to the real world to begin lobbing fireballs and catch the last of what the voice was saying.
“-and then I ate the tea kettle, tabby pattern and all! Oh it’s a good story, but it’s not why I’m here. I’m here because of you misusing your powers for evil! Magic Man, you are a disgrace to the magic community!” the voice said angrily.
Hearing his name snapped him out of his daze, and he managed to find his voice.
“Who-who are you, and where do you come from?” he asked, backing up into a tree.
The voice laughed again. “Oh, Magic Man. You really don’t remember your old pal Discord?” And with a snapping noise that echoed unnaturally around the clearing, he appeared, pouring himself a glass of chocolate milk and then drinking the glass.
Magic Man growled. “Discord! I should have known.”
“Alright, BMO. Tell me what you heard.” Princess Bubblegum was conducting tests on the portal to find out where Finn and Jake went. Any information would help to find them.
“I h-heard Finn and J-Jake at the door, then a weird s-swirling noise, a scream, and another swirling noise, and then it just stopped!” BMO started sobbing with tiny digital tears running down his screen.
PB frowned. This was going to be tougher than she thought. Just then, an explosion rocked all of Ooo. “Hurry back, Finn and Jake. We need you.”
After almost a solid hour of explaining backstories and questioning everything, everyone was up to speed on info, much to the delight of Twilight.
“So, yeah. That’s how my parents found Finn.” Jake was telling the story of how Finn was found. Finn had his hoof so deep in his face that it was about to come out the other side. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were laughing out loud hard, Twilight, Celestia, Fluttershy, and Rarity were all trying to suppress giggles, and Applejack and Shining Armor were smirking openly.
“Alright, I think that’s enough backstories for today. And no Jake, you are not telling them about Huntress Wizard.”
Jake frowned. “Awwww... But it’s so cute!”
“NO!”
Jake waved a hoof. “Fine. We need to crash somewhere. Preferably a treehouse.”
Fluttershy piped up. “Uh, I live in a tree. You can stay there until you need to go home.”
“Thanks, Flutters! Come, Jake, onwards! YAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”, screamed Finn as he went off to Fluttershy’s tree cottage.
“Uh, Finn? Jake? My house is that way.”
Finn turned around while still on top of Jake. “YAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
Twilight covered her eyes with her hooves. “Ponyville is doomed.”