//------------------------------// // Episode 11: The Party // Story: Life at Canterlot High // by Down with Chrysalis //------------------------------// It is to my immense regret that Pinkie breaking into my house and my room without waking me up did not, in fact, surprise me. She was like the Energizer Bunny on steroids, and far craftier and determined than I had initially given her credit for, so of course she could ninja it up as well. And despite my efforts to ignore her by using the old 'if you can't see me, I can't see you' belief by covering my head, she still continued to pester me in the most annoying way possible. "Come on Mikey! Rise and shine already! The party is gonna start soon and you need to wake up!" she exclaimed while shaking me back and forth. "Five more minutes..." I groaned as my sleep addled mind slowly started coming online. "Nonononono! You've got to wake up now!” she all but whined in my ear. “If you don't you might miss out on all the snacks, and the punch, and all super duper fun party games!" “But it’s too early,” I groaned. “No it’s not, it’s almost lunch time,” she informed. Wait for real? Dang, must have played later than usual last night. I thought trepidly before sighing. But I might as well get up. Ignoring this will only lead to more annoyance or death via Murder Pie so- "WAKE UP!" I felt my covers disappear and the wind rushing on my face. Wai-what the hell just ha-*thud* My face met the floor of my bedroom in an almost cartoonish fashion as I scrambled around. “Pinkie!” I cried out as I shuffled my legs under my bed. "Oh yay! 'Operation: Wake Up Michael So He Can Enjoy The Super Duper Awesome Party Hosted By Pinkie Pie' has been a complete success!" "Pinkie...you know an operation name is supposed to be short and sweet, not the entire plan right?" I couldn't help but grumble from my position on the floor. "Oh I know that silly!” she giggled. “I just couldn't think of a funny acronym so I just went with stating the obvious!" Every minute we 'talk' I can feel my sanity slipping faster and faster... "Well...you woke me up. You happy now?" I groaned giving her the stink eye. "Yeppers!" "Okay, well if you’re so happy then get out of my room already!” I demanded. “Aw, but I just got here,” she whined. “And I don’t want you going back to sleep.” “Trust me, I ain’t sleeping after this, but I really need to get some clothes on besides my boxers…” I trailed off as I emphasized my uncovered torso. Pinkie finally took in my meaning and why I was partially hiding under my bed and her face suddenly went red with embarrassment. “Oh! Uh…Right,” she laughed nervously as she slowly backed away through my door. “I’ll just…get that for you.” She then slowly closed my bedroom door and I let out a sigh of relief before calling out. “And don't touch anything! Trust me I will know if you do!" "Okie Dokie Loki! I'll wait downstairs with Applejack!" she called through my door. “Oh God, she’s here too?” I grumbled to myself as I started to get dressed. “Well, good thing she didn’t see Pinkie stealing my sheets. The last thing I need is to be caught half naked with her in my room. She’d probably kill me first and ask questions later.” After getting dressed and making my way downstairs I found to my immense surprise that Pinkie actually listened to me and didn't touch any of my stuff, as apparently she just decided to sit on my couch. Applejack, on the other hand, decided to poke around with my game collection. "Ahem!” I cleared my throat loudly as she was looking at Mortal Kombat XL. “You know that just adds 'attempted robbery' to your list of charges aside from 'breaking and entering' for the third time?" Applejack just gave me a side brow at my jab as she put my game down and turned to me. "I don't think looking at your games counts as 'attempted theft.’ Besides this is the first time I've been in yer place, and..." she took a quick glance around the room before finishing, "I am mighty surprised at how clean it is. Half expected yer place to be covered in junk food wrappers and pizza boxes." "Even I have a standard of living Jackie, I live like you do, aside from the constant fertilizer smell at least." Applejack glared at my jab as she responded, "Yer place may be clean, but yer taste in games sure ain't. I mean, how many editions of the same game do ya need?” Oh you did not just insult a gamer’s choice of art! It. Is. On! I opened my mouth to give the mother of all burns in the name of my precious games, but before I could even get a word out Pinkie interrupted our squabbling, no doubt trying to play the peacekeeper between two arguing 'friends.' "I don't know AJ, some of these games look super fun! I mean sure I prefer those party games we all play together, but look at this! A game about lollipops and zombies, how awesome is that!?" Both me and Applejack shared a look at Pinkie's excitement for a game I will not apologize for owning, but the both of us got the hint to let our squabble drop. "Right...anyway just so you know I do happen to own a farming simulator or two if that makes you happy. I enjoy mindless violence...admittedly a bit too much, but I can enjoy a decent down to earth game every now and then. Besides the Harvest Moon series is freaking awesome.” She seemed a bit surprised at that, and not at all insulted. Huh, guess she really loves farming, I thought before turning to Pinkie. "Anyway, I know I'm going to regret asking this but...how the hell did the two of you get in here? I know I locked the door last night so..." "Oh that's easy silly! I just picked your lock and got in through the front door!" “Wait what? You said you had a key!” Applejack exclaimed in surprise Huh...I was expecting some overly-complicated explanation...guess that works too. Also, great the pink nutcase can pick my locks, just what I needed to know. How gullible is Ms. Yeehaw to think I’d give Pinkie a key? "That’s a crime you know? I could actually get you arrested for breaking and entering since you confessed," I deadpanned. "Oh that's just silly!” she giggled as was her custom when faced with anything logical. “Why would I be arrested for entering my friend’s house without their knowledge while they slept?” Even Applejack was giving Pinkie a look of deadpanned disbelief at that. "What?" she asked innocently. I just rubbed my brow in frustration at Pinkie's lack of...well logic and gave a tired sigh. Just woke up and I already don't want to talk to anyone for the rest of the day. And I still have a party to go to...ugh I tried my best to keep my annoyance hidden on my face as I walked over to my kitchen to grab a quick breakfast of Pop Tarts and Milk. Not exactly the breakfast of champions, but I had no intention of sharing pancakes or waffles with two home invaders. Although that didn’t stop Applejack from helping herself to one of my apples, and yes I do keep fresh fruit in my house despite my pension for meat and junk food. I’m not that unhealthy. But yeah you could not even comprehend how hard it was to restrain myself from making a crack at Applejack eating an apple. The joke just writes itself, but I didn’t want Pinkie mediating again. The strain of not mocking her though was evidenced on my face since raised a brow at me. “So I get why Pinko over there is here, but how’d she drag you here? She bribe you with some caramel apples or something?” And I failed to not mock, surprise surprise. Pinkie didn’t hear me as she was now perusing my games, but Applejack responded with a smirk. I do not like that look on her face… “Well pardner, if you must know. I’m here to make sure your lying face doesn’t try and weasel its way out this.” I knew I didn’t like that look on her face! “So basically, you’re my warden to make sure I don’t go try and skip out on Pinkie’s party? Great, now I’m being babysat,” I grumbled. “What? Like you weren’t gonna try and sneak off after we got to the party?” she accused. “What, me? I would never dream of it,” I said sarcastically which seemed to aggravate her. “Look in all seriousness I don’t plan on ditching. As much as I want too, I have a feeling doing so would lead me to an early and painful death that’s not caused by you.” “And want, pray tell, makes ya think that?” “I’m pretty sure the borderline murder stare she gave me after I made a 'Pinkie Promise' to go kind of gave off the impression,” I said shuddering at the memory. To my surprise instead of insulting me Applejack actually nodded her head in solemn agreement. "Pinkie Promise huh? Looks like you've got some common sense in ya after all," she said sounding somewhat horrified. "Wait, does she give that evil stare to anyone that makes that promise?" "Eyup,” she nodded and didn’t say any more which didn’t reassure me at all. As I was shivering at the implications, the Pink ball of insanity herself suddenly let out a loud gasp of shock. Almost immediately after she did I found her face once again way too close for comfort to mine as she grabbed my shoulders and started shaking me. "Oh oh oh oh look at the time! We've got to leave now or the party will be late for us!" "Ah Pinks, ah think you mean 'we'll be late for the party,'" Applejack interjected. “I know what I said,” she replied with a grin as she stopped shaking me and started skipping towards my door. And while the farmer gal chuckled at the display I wolfed down my pop tarts and looked at the clock. Yeesh, 12:30. I definitely overplayed last night. "Come on Mikey! We need to go go go!" “I’m coming I’m com-“ I stopped as I saw all of my games spewed about all over the floor. Gritting my teeth I glared at the one responsible. “Okay first clean up the mess you made! You can apparently teleport, so just reorganize my stuff before we go to this party that totally isn’t just for me.” She gave a sidelong glance at my scattered treasures and a small part of me actually thought she would show some mercy and agree to my request, and that I would be able to spend at least a few more minutes of peace at home. "Oh come on silly, you can put away all your games later, for now it’s time to PAR-TY!" And that small hope was quickly crushed and obliterated by a mountain of reality. I was then dragged out of my own house and shoved into the back of a rusty red pick-up. No surprise that it was owned by Applejack, the stereotypical farmer girl, but also because Pinkie (thankfully) didn’t have her license yet. Rainbow Dash’s driving was heart stopping enough, I didn’t even want to live in the world where Psycho Balloon girl had a vehicle. The drive to the school was filled with Pinkie chattering away like usual while I did my best to ignore her while giving vague responses and of Applejack silently glaring at me via the rear-view mirror whenever I gave said vague responses. Thankfully the ride of annoyance and silent anger was relatively short, and we found ourselves walking through the halls of the school heading towards the gym on a weekend when any sane student would be at home. Now I’ve never liked being in school after hours. There’s always something creepy about a giant husk of a building being silent as the grave that unsettles me to the core. But thankfully none of those jittery nerves hit me because the sound of rave music kept getting louder and louder the closer we got to the gym. Once we were standing right outside the main entrance the music was practically trying to break through the doors it was so loud and flashing colors and the silhouettes of teenagers dancing could be seen through the tinted door windows. "Heh, and here I thought we weren't going to be late to the party?" I deadpanned. "The party was going to be late for us Mikey! And well...," Pinkie scratched her poofy hair in confusion as she finished, "I don't know why it’s already started. I told everyone to wait for you to show u-oops!" Pinkie's eyes widened and she covered her mouth in shock as the 'secret' purpose of the party accidently slipped out of her lips, but I just rolled my eyes at her actions. "So Jackie, got any idea why the party's already rocking then?" I asked the farmer girl. "Ah...don't know either,” she said giving me a strange look. “The plan was for you to show up so we could surprise ya and all like Pinkie said, so yer guess is as good as mine." While Pinkie looked at Applejack as if she just betrayed her in the cruelest way possible, I just mulled over everything. “Hmm, well they either forgot or since they all knew that it was for me they probably just ignored the purpose behind it. There actually are some idiots that believe those rumors about me.” "What! They wouldn't do that! My parties are all about having fun and I know they knew I was throwing this one for you to welcome you to town and for being my friend! They wouldn't start without you or me....would they?" I couldn't see her face, but something in Pinkie's tone told me that any of my usual comments would lead to another crying situation, so instead I opted to just keep my mouth shut as Applejack comforted her friend. "Aw don't get like that Pinkie, I'm sure that this is all just some big misunderstanding. Come on, let’s get in and find Twi and the others, I'm sure they can explain everything." Or you could accept the fact that teenagers suck and will hijack anything when they don't have to pay for damages. That works too. "Yeah, you’re right AJ! I'm sure everyone just forgot the plan is all! Let's find the girls and get Mikey's party started! Uh…Surprise by the way." “Oh wow, you sure got me,” I said in mock surprise, and like usual my sarcasm went over her poofy head and she beamed happily. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes before pushing open the double doors of the gym. The rave music blasted through the halls at full blast, and the sight of every generic teenage party ever was displayed before my eyes. The girls walked in together, and I could only massage my temple at the quickly forming headache I was getting as I followed them in. Let's hope someone spills their punch and short-circuits the speakers before all these 'wubs' blow my brains out like in Scanners. The music was ten times as loud inside the gym and the rave lights flashing around were so spastic that every time I blinked five different hues would go by before I even finished closing my eyes. There were also a whole bunch of people crowded around all over the place, and almost a dozen more all squished together on a makeshift dance floor near the back of the gym. Around the sides surrounding the dance floor were tables and chairs, along with a buffet table on both sides near were we entered. Even the bleachers were pulled out slightly to make a rest spot for people tired of standing or wanting to take a break from dancing. Basically, it looked like what you'd think a high school party would be like, although surprisingly there was no funny smells in the air and I didn’t see one beer can or bottle. Hmm, guess even these yokels are smart enough not to bring that stuff onto school grounds, I thought impressed, though I did suspect the big dude with the dreads of having a stash on him. Anyway, the minute the three of use walked in those around us stopped to look at us (mostly me) in surprise before not-so-subtly backing away. Well, not so subtle for me anyway, Pinkie and Applejack were a bit overwhelmed by the party at large. "This...this wasn't I planned!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Where are all the streamers and balloons, and the party games, and Vinyl!?" "What in the Sam Hill is going on?" Applejack sputtered as she whipped her head left and right. Wait, for real? Huh. Figured loud and in your face was Pinkie’s style. I theorized. But Vinyl records? Didn’t figure her for a hipster. “It was all perfect last night, the foods still here, but this is all wrong!” Pinkie whined as she started to hyperventilate. “It’s like black magic or something!” Pfft, if only it was magic, I thought with a bit of pity. This isn’t some anime Pinkie, this is real life where lying thieves are everywhere. "Oh Pinkie darling, it’s just awful!" came a familiar fancy voice as Rarity and Rainbow Dash broke through the crowd. "Dashy! Rarity!” Pinkie cried out as she embraced both friends frantically. “Hey, where’s Twilight?” asked AJ. “I don’t know,” Rainbow shrugged as she slipped out of Pinkie’s hug. “She was online late last night playing video games and she said she’d be here but…” She was? I thought in shock. “But perhaps it’s a good thing she’s not here,” Rarity said patting Pinkie’s back. “You’re telling me! What the heck is going on!? What happened to all my awesome party decorations and why isn't Vinyl Djing?" Pinkie yelled, pulling back from the fashionista. "I have no idea where Ms. Scratch is, but when Rainbow and I got here with the other girls your decorations had been replaced with all those gaudy lights. I'm afraid your party’s been shanghaied!" "WHAT!?” Pinkie shrieked at the top of her lungs. “Why would anyone want to take over one of my parties!? I mean who would do that!?" "Who do you think?” Rainbow growled as Pinkie started panicking even more. “It was those no good Dazz-" "Oh my, am I interrupting a loser meeting?" I am not afraid to admit I jumped and let out a small 'yipe' in fear as I turned around and backed away towards Pinkie and her friends. Damn music! I thought in anger as the people of Rainbow’s ire smirked at my display. "A pleasure to see you again Mr. Bacon," Adagio's eyes seemed to scream trouble as she said that. Oh that figures. If it wasn’t them, it’d be Sunset, I thought in annoyance. I should probably mention that I hadn't had any face to face time with the Dazzling's since my first day of school when I insulted them. That hadn’t stopped them from operating the rumor mill though, and some of the crap that came from them made Sunset’s tales look like bedtime stories. I’d actually had to shoot some of those down because even the faculty had caught wind of them, and the last thing I needed was my mom hearing them. Let’s just say it involved a lot of slandering about my character when it came to women and leave it at that. I could tell behind her hollow eyes that she was still sore from our first meeting though. Alpha Bitch’s rarely let things slide. After giving me a smirk, she looked to rest of the girls, "Oh, and nice to see the riff raff as well I suppose." Almost instantly the others all narrowed their eyes, even Pinkie. "Dazzle-jerks,” Rainbow growled. What followed was an intense stare down between the two groups, and the longer it went the more the tension seemed to grow. Any of the partying teens that had been near noticed the shift in tone and started making themselves scarce, but of course not too far as to not hear the insuring spat. Heavens forbid the masses miss out on two groups glaring at each other in high school after all. And there I was, smack dab in the middle of it. Ugh someone better do something soon or els-wait a minute! This is my chance to get out of here while Pinkie and the others are distracted! While I did promise that I would go to the party, I never said anything about staying at it. I’d originally planned to keep to myself in the corner for an hour or two before ducking out, but with the drama mounting, I decided to expedite the process. I started to slowly edge my way towards the entrance, "Oh hi Mikey!" But then all eyes turned to me when Sonata called out and waved to me. With everyone’s attention now directed to me, I choked as I was put on the spot and I couldn’t come up with anything snarky or assholish to say. "Uh...hi to you as well Sonata?" I mumbled and waved meekly. Her response was all but meek though as she overdramatically gasped, slapped her hands to her cheeks and started to shake Aria back and forth in excitement. "See Aria! I told you he'd remember my name! I told you!" "I can see that, now stop shaking me!" Said girl just growled at Sonata's sudden touchiness as she roughly pulled away from her. Thankfully this little display broke the stare down. Unfortunately though, Adagio became smug once more and looked at me. Damn It. "I'm so glad to see that you remember her, but don't you think it’s a bit rude to just say hi to her and no one else?" "Ah you’re right,” I nodded as I was able to get my wits about me “A fine hello to you Almon Drizzle and Area Blast, nice to see you’re both as stereotypically and outdatedly dressed as usual." And like that the scowls replaced those uppity smug expressions as Rainbow tried to hide her laughter (keyword there is tried). But just as fast as those annoyed expressions began, they stopped as Adagio took a deep breath and said in a forcibly pleasant tone, "Those aren't our names, but I'll just assume you haven't had the chance to memorize them yet. Now then..." She turned back towards the girls which caused them to stiffen up as she spoke in a faux kind tone, "I hope you don't mind the improvements we made to your party. We saw your set up and just knew how to make it better, so we took the initiative to...improve it." "Improved!?” Pinkie outright glared at them in that scary face of hers. “I mean sure the lights were a nice touch and all, but you got rid of all my decorations and replaced Vinyl with...whoever that is!" Up behind a DJ booth that had the stylized word ZEST was some girl around my age with green hair and headphones on, banging her head to the rhythm. "Oh you poor dear, you still think balloons and streamers are appropriate decorations at our age?” Adagio cooed patronizingly. “As for Vinyl, while I won't deny that her music is interesting, a party of this caliber needed a more professional and mature touch. Don’t you agree?” Geez why don't you just start petting a cat while you’re at it? Your hammy acting is worse than Sunset's attempts to be threatening, I thought in judgment. "Look you Dazzle-jerks, you can't just go and change Pinkie's party for her! She's the one who worked hard to set everything up, and she paid for all the food! You have no right to jus-" Rainbow's angry rant was cut off when Adagio held her hand up and made a 'shh' noise as if she was scalding a child. Rainbow looked like she was about to blow a gasket, but the orange haired bitch cut her off. "Oh don't I?” she said in a threatening manner. “I don't know if you losers have forgotten or not, but I-we rule this school. We have full control over anything we want to, and unless you want a repeat of a certain incident, then I highly advise you remember this." At the mention of the incident the girls and nearby eavesdropping students, stiffened up, but apparently that wasn't enough for Adagio as she got up in Rainbow's face and said in a low tone, "You and your little friends are nothing but a bunch of specs in the breeze, and the only reason you aren't at the bottom of the social ladder is because I deemed it so. Remember that Rainbow Crash." And just like with Sunset, Rainbow’s bravado just evaporated and her posture more subservient. Despite that though, she still managed to glare at the smirking bitch. Okay...starting to think this incident that keeps being mentioned is more serious than just some crummy school prank gone wrong. Also wow, Adagio is straight up evil. Apparently the Queen Bee was satisfied with her display of social power as she turned her attention back to me. "Now then, as the real host of this party I find it only fitting that we should accompany Mr. Bacon as he enjoys in the festivities. Don't you all agree?" When none of the girls made any kind of attempt to argue Adagio gave a smug smile and singled for her two minions to follow her. When I didn't immediately start following them Adagio turned back towards me and asked me in her faux sweet tone, "Well Mr. Bacon?" "Yeah, how about no?" Once again a chorus of gasps filled my immediate area, though at least this time they were drowned out by the music. "I'm sorry...what?" she asked in shock and anger looking like I’d just slapped her. I just gave her a simple shrug before I said, "Yeah, you see one of my favorite things to do is to tell someone who thinks they have the advantage in a situation 'no.' But if I must spell it out for you, there is no way I'm going anywhere near your psychopathic ass, you bitchy disco reject." I heard Rainbow laugh behind me, and even Aria, her second in command started to chuckle. The latter got a nasty glare that immediately shut down that insubordination before she turned that glare on me. "You...do you know who your addressing right now?!" "Oh definitely,” I replied as I mockingly looked her up and down. “The queen bee of the school right? Literally in your case since your hair looks like a rundown wasp nest.” The unforgiving laughter I got out of Rainbow and Pinkie, and the poorly subdued laughter from Applejack, filled me with unknown amounts of smugness. Not because I wanted them to laugh, but because getting the people Adagio had just put down to laugh at her not even a minute later right in front of her must have strung her pride like hell. The fact that her two cronies had to physically turn away made it even better. However, just when it looked like Adagio was going to lose all her cool she instead surprised me by taking a deep breath before her sly smile and patronizing tone returned. "Well...you’re certainly an interesting addition to our school. But as much as you think you are in control, you're not." “The Hell I ain’t,” I countered. “I didn’t even want to come to this party anyway. The only reason I’m here is because of Pinkie, but since this isn’t even her shindig anymore, I don’t have to stay.” “Ah, but that would be awfully rude wouldn’t it?” she smirked evilly at me before clapping her hands. "Fido! Rover! Be a dear and please escort Mr. Bacon through the festivities.” "Fido and Rover?” I asked with a raised brow. “Did you actually bring dogs here like a Bond Vil-WHOA!" My insult was interrupted when I suddenly found myself lifted off the ground by my shoulders by two burly guys who look and smelled like the inside of a gym bag. I of course did the sensible thing and started wiggling like a fish, but their grips were iron clad. “The Hell’s This?!” I yelled out as the two Neanderthals started carrying me away from both groups. “Well since you don’t want to accompany your gracious hosts, and we don’t want you running off, insurance is needed,” Adagio chuckled as I was carried further into the throngs of people. “Oh come on!” I yelled as I was swallowed up by the bodies, thumping music and flashing lights. Through the madness, I saw Pinkie calling out for me, but couldn’t hear what she said. “Are you guys seriously making me party against my will?” I yelled at my two guards who merely grunted. “I mean, that’s what Pinkie was doing, but even she didn’t go this far!” So yeah, Tweedle Dee and Dum kind of Weekend at Burnies’d me around the party while I went boneless in protest. This mostly entailed getting every clique it seemed to laugh at me as they even used me as a puppet to “Dance” to the music. And all the while, Pinkie and her friends were nowhere in sight. This is the worst. This is the absolute worst, I thought in melancholy as the two meat heads stopped to talk to some girl who had way too much flashy jewelry on. Apparently, they really really liked shiny rocks and gems. And they’re fanatical rock collectors to boot. No one cares about your stupid geodes! After an ungodly amount of time as their prisoner, the two idiots eventually set me down near the buffet table where they proceeded to load up countless plates full of food…and just kind of stopped focusing on me. Oookkkaaayyy… I thought warily as I took a few steps away from them without them noticing. Well thank God for small favors. I looked through the blinding lights and countless bodies for an exit sign and saw it was clear on the other side of the room. I looked between the sea of people and my two wardens and bit my lip at my predicament. Okay, If I make a break for it now, would they chase me? They’re not the sharpest tools in the shed, but jocks like them will do anything for a hot chick, and the last thing I need is to be away from eyewitnesses if they track me down. I then looked along the food table and saw a few others hanging around it and I got an idea. Or maybe that’s what they’ll immediately think. Why would I stick around? I thought cleverly as I inched my way behind some people and out of their site. Once they’re gone, I’ll give it a few minutes then sneak out in the confusion. “Excuse me,” I said to some grey skinned purple haired girl as I ducked around her, cutting the brutes’ eyesight of me. “No Problem,” came the most deadpan, bored sounding voice I’ve ever heard. The tone through me off enough that I looked away from my kidnappers at the girl. She looked a bit older than everyone else, and had on a plain dress, but the sheer blankness of her face put even me to shame. Huh, maybe there’s others like me that got dragged here against their will, I thought as the bored looking girl went back to gathering food. And while there was a wide assortment of sweets and goodies straight from Sugar Cube Corner (Which I immediately snatched up) she was instead piling her plate with only bland foods like celery and un buttered popcorn. I was honestly so caught off by sheer boringness that I ended up just staring at her for a solid minute, and she made no move to say or do anything that entire time either aside from eat her celery. It was kinda awkward, but it was just so off putting that I just couldn't do anything. It was like I was trapped in some time loop or something. Okay man, knock it off! It's just some chick who looks dead inside, no big deal. Focus back on the two-Oh hey, they’re gone. In my distraction, the first step of my plan had seemingly gone off without a hitch as the two idiots were nowhere in sight. Okay good, thank you boring girl for shielding me. Now all I have to do is keep my head low and get to the exit before- “HRK!” "Mikey! I finally found you, and you managed to escape those meanies!” Pinkie bellowed as she all but squeezed the life out of me. Suddenly finding myself in physical contact with Pinkie was not welcomed to me as I very quickly broke out of her grasp and backed away from the pink girl while giving her a glare. Damn it! I was so close too! I mentally grumbled. "Okay Pinkie, I'm telling you this now. No hugs, at all. Got it?" She deflated somewhat at my tone before she almost instantly went back to being hyped up on sugar as she gave me a bright smile. "Okay Mikey, I'll hold off on hug time for now! I'm just glad we managed to find you before those guys could do anything!” she said. Looking beside her was Flubber surprisingly enough, with Rainbow, Rarity and Applejack nowhere in sight. “Yeah, well you’re too late, they already treated me like a chew toy,” I grumbled before half heartedly waving at my gym partner. “And hey Flubber, nice of you to drop by my party.” “Um…actually, my name’s no-“ she began before Pinkie cut her off. “How'd you get away from them anyway?" "It was pretty easy honestly, they set me down for a snack and just kind of wandered off somewhere. I kind of hid behind this lady,” I pointed back at blank face girl. Apparently even Pinkie didn't seem to notice her next to me until I pointed her out, as she let out a overexaggerated gasp at the sight of her before glomping the poor girl. Though considering she still had that blank look on her face I don't think she really cared. Is randomly hugging people just a thing with Pinkie? How does she not have a restraining order yet? Ignorant to my thoughts Pinkie stopped hugging the girl but kept one arm slung around her shoulders as she turned to me. "Oh this is super lucky! Even though my party’s been crashed you still managed to meet my sister! Talk about super duper lucky am I right Maud?" "Sure Pinkie,” the girl said in such pure monotone that it hurt my ears. Even through the pain though, Pinkie’s words still registered. “Wait…Sister?” I uttered looking between the two. “Yessire-Bob! She’s in college, but she came down this weekend to visit” Pinkie giggled while the now named Maud just looked at me as though I was a wall of drying paint. All concept of logic and reasoning escaped me as I looked between the two polar opposite looking girls. My mind had almost gone into pure shutdown mode by how baffling the scene was. It was like the universe had just played some grand prank on the world and I was just now noticing it. "I think you broke him Pinkie,” Maud monotone as Flubber waved a hand in front of my face. "Oh don’t be silly, this is just the usual reaction we get when people find out we're related. Remember Twilight's face when she found out? Oh man that was ha-lair-ious!" I was snapped out of my inner turmoil when Flubber poked me in the forehead and I swatted her hand away. “Eep!” she flinched back as I pointed at Maud and Pinkie. "So...you two are related?" "Yeppers!" "You two share the same parents?" "Uh-huh!" "If I were to do a DNA test, it would positively identify you two as sharing the same genes?" "I don't know what that means, but sure!" There were a few moments of silence between me, the two Pie sisters, and Flubber as the loud music and chattering teens around us continued. Eventually I just gave one, tired, very long sigh as I face palmed. "Okay, sure why not? Cause this makes so much sense. Your poor poor parents…" I muttered. Pinkie and Flubber just seemed to find my reluctant acceptance amusing as she giggled, though the latter was barely noticeable with how quiet she was. Maud on the other hand just kept her same blank look, which both freaked me out and made me jealous of her sturdiness. “Well anyway Mikey, now that you’re away from those guys, do you want to come back with me and the girls?” I stared at her hopeful expression for a few heartbeats before I shook my head. “Actually no Pinkie. I kind of just want to get out of here before whatever Adagio has planned goes off.” “Oh…” she said dejected, but what she said next caught me off guard. “I understand.” “You do?” I asked. “Yeah,” she nodded sadly. “This isn’t how I wanted your day to go. I wanted to show you a safe good time that even you would enjoy, but there’s just no heart in this party.” “Oh…so what you’re saying is that you don’t mind if I leave?” She nodded at that, “Me and the girls are thinking about leaving as well. It looks like Twilight missing this place was a blessing, she’d have had a panic attack by now.” “Heh, no kidding,” I chuckled which brought a small smile to her lips. Seeing my chance, I pocketed a few more baked goods and said, “Well if that’s the case let’s split before-“ "And there he is, the man of the hour folks! Seems he's enjoying the buffet at the moment, but who wouldn't when eating some of the best sweets in town?" Adagio’s voice echoed throughout the gym and the music stopped. Hair standing on end, I looked towards the stage to see her and her cronies on stage next to the DJ girl, and everybody was turning their attention to me. Shit! I’ve gotta get out now or- Looking back to the exit, I saw the two meat heads walk in front of the door and fold their arms. “…Son of a bitch,” I grumbled as Pinkie and Flubber looked around nervously at everyone. "Now then, would the honored guest please make his way to the stage?! We have a wonderful surprise to welcome him to Canterlot High!" I made no move to walk towards the stage, not wanting to fall into her ploy, but she obviously thought of that as she snapped her fingers. From behind me I heard the sound of knuckles cracking. “What the hell?” I gasped as I looked behind me and down, and saw a guy half my size, yet filled to burst with muscle. He was just as butt ugly as the other two meat heads. Oh great, there’s three of them. Of course there are, one for each of the Rejects. It’s like they’re the freaking mafia. Realizing that I didn’t have any choice in the matter (not like I’d had any to begin with that day) I started walking to the stage so I wouldn’t have to tangle with the buff dwarf. I stole a quick glance at Pinkie Maude, and Flubber, and while both Pinkie and Flubber were practically shaking like leaves in worry, Maud still had a blank expression on. God I envy her right now, I thought wistfully as I marched towards my doom. Once I was on stage Adagio snapped her fingers again and the crowd closed behind me, ensuring there was no escape. I tried to remain nonchalant, but the pressure was almost drowning me. Adagio then started dramatically circling me as her two goons stood off to the side next to some curtain hiding the rest of the stage, and both were recording with their phones. "Now Michael Bacon, it has come to my attention that you have been at our wonderful school for a week now and you've yet to be properly welcomed. Now that just won't do, now will it everybody!?" she announced into her microphone, and everyone started cheering loudly. Mob mentality…they’re eating right out of her hands, I thought with trepidation as I tried to remain stoic. Just don’t look at them. Don’t look at the sea of sheep. She turned to me and gave me a smile that would make the Joker jealous. “You hear that? They’re all so eager for what’s to come.” I scowled at her with grit teeth. “Just get it over with.” “My my, aren’t we anxious?” she mocked in whisper before sliding her hand on my shoulder as she walked past. “Well, ask and ye shall receive…” Following her movements, I watched as she stood with her cohorts next to the curtain. "Here we go, count it down with me!” she called out before she and the rest of the crowd began chanting. “3!” “2!” “1!” I braced myself for whatever lay behind that curtain, whether it was embarrassing pictures, a burning effigy of me, or even pig’s blood. When she and the others pulled back the curtain however, I was not at all prepared by what I saw. “HOLY SHIT!” I shouted in fear as I was staring down the barrel of two canons, yes you heard me, a Two God Damn Canons! I was prepared for a cruel prank, not public homicide! Even in my shock as I stumbled back and raised my hands, I still couldn’t escape the projectile bucket as it was launched at me with a deafening boom. “AAAHHH!!!” I screamed as the bucket lodged on my head, and I was covered head to toe in something sticky. Before I could get my bearings though a second boom echoed out through the gym and I was knocked to the ground by what could only be described as a ball of softness. I struggled to get up from where I fell, and when I finally did I could hear the muffled laughter coming from all around me. I let out a low growl at that, and angrily struggled to get the bucket off my head. Once I had, and chucked the damn thing away, I opened my eyes to a sea of red and yellow...as well as stinging. Very, very painful stinging coming from my eyes as I stupidly opened them before wiping whatever was on my face off. Groaning, and stumbling I frantically wiped at my face with hands that felt too thick and scratchy, but eventually I was able to get the goop out of my eyes. With my sight returned, I looked upon Adagio’s handiwork. I was completely covered in mustard and ketchup and feathers from head to toe, and the laughter was deafening now. I looked to the mob of assholes and they started laughing harder at the tears that were caused by my stinging eyes. It was only because of the condiments in my eyes…I wasn’t crying… I felt rage seep through me at their cackling. Normally I could ignore the mocking, the taunts, and the rabble from a bunch of nameless assholes, but the sheer number of them…Not even I’m immune to that. No one is. My anger only spiked when the chuckling of the one behind this reached my ears. I turned back towards Adagio and her two lapdogs, Aria holding up her phone while laughing and Sonata looking confused for some reason. But my focus wasn't on those two, no. My focus was on the bitch who was giving me another smug ass look. "There we go, a proper welcome to our school! Aria's got the whole thing immortalized, and some decent editing will just make you a star. Unless of course..."Adagio leaned closer and held the mic away from her as she said, "You apologize for your disrespect and swear to be on my beck and call, and I might just consider deleting the video and putting this whole thing behind us." If the condiments hadn’t been soaking every inch of me, she would have seen how red my face had gotten. My teeth were clenched so hard they hurt, and my fingernails bit into my palm I was clenching them so hard. I wanted to hurt her, I wanted to scream and shout to the heavens, and I wanted to wipe that smugness off her face. She got her jollies off making people feel small, and I wanted to bring her down to that level. I wanted her to feel the pain I felt. I hadn’t felt rage this badly since the day I learned the truth about her. There were so many things I wanted to do at that moment...but I didn't because that’s what she wanted. She wanted me to make a scene, make things worse than they already were so she could get it all on film. She wanted me to lash out at her, worse I think on some level she wanted me to steep to her level. She wanted to see me break just because I happened to not bow to her little game like all the others. Sadly for her, I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction. Pushing the rage into my gut I stepped towards her, wiped the mess from my face and forced myself to smirked at her. “Gotta try harder than that…” My response really threw her off, but before she could say anything else, I walked away. “H-Hey! Where are you going?!” she called out, but I didn’t turn around. I ignored her calls, and the dwindling laughter that was slowly becoming awkward silence. I ignored the complaints from the faceless crowd as I smeared their clothes in passing. I ignored the goons who were apprehensive to touch me in my state. I ignored the sound of Pinkie’s voice calling my name as I made my way out of the building, and began my long walk home. The walk home seemed shorter than before as nothing but anger filled my thoughts. Passerbys gave me odd glances and the like, but I didn’t acknowledge them. I felt my phone buzzing in my soggy pocket, but I ignored it. I needed my sanctuary, and to hell with anyone in my way. When I got home, I shed my clothes and showered the crap off of me. The feathers tried to clog the drain, but after awhile I was clean. Immediately after that, I locked every door and window in my house, and pulled furniture and shelves in front of them for good measure. Then I threw my ruined clothes in the washing machine. Before I could start the cycle though, my phone buzzed again in my pocket and I hesitated for a moment. It buzzed again and I grunted as I pulled it from my sticky pocket. Now that I was home, I was a little more willing to talk with whatever family member was calling since they were the only ones who had my number. I was still mad, but my rage had tempered after my escape. “It’s probably mom,” I muttered as I cleaned the residual ketchup and mustard off of the screen. She really was the only one who would’ve had any reason to call. Well, aside from maybe my cousin, but I doubted it was her. With the screen clean though, I found it wasn’t either of their numbers, but an unknown caller who had been spamming me for the last thirty minutes. “Who the hell needs to talk to me this badly?” I asked aloud as curiosity got the better of me and I answered. Almost immediately, my speakers blew up. "Mikey! Are you okay!? Where are you!? Oh those meanie Dazzling's prank didn't permanently blind you did it!?" “Pinkie?” I grunted as I pulled the phone from my ear. “How’d you get my number?” “That’s not important right now!” she dodged the question. “What matters is where you are and whether or not you’re Okay? I’ve been trying to reach you for like half an hour!” I grit my teeth at that as I was beyond wanting to put up with her randomness. “Fine, don’t answer the question. No I’m not blind, anyone with a brainstem could tell that when I walked away! And where do you think I am? Honestly?!” “Oh so you’re home, that’s good,” I heard her sigh. “But are you sure you’re not hurt? That prank they pulled went way too far!” "That wasn’t a prank, that was sabotage, and if you must know I'm beyond pissed at the moment. Now is that it or can I hang up?" I grunted in frustration. The other line went dead at my question, causing me to sigh in annoyance. "Look thanks for the concern and all, but I need some me time right no-" "I'm sorry Michael." “…” I paused at that. Not because of the words themselves, or how she called out my actual name, but how she said it. Her voice was somber and mellow and regretful, the complete opposite of the Pinkie I had had the displeasure of knowing. It was unsettling. "I had planned this super fun party for you and it was going to be so much fun and you would have had a blast and maybe even loosened up a bit,” she said bitterly. “There were even going to be projectors screens with videogames you liked available so everyone could have fun with you. I was really looking forward to seeing a smile on your frowning face…but..." The line went silent yet again for a few moments and I dared not speak. "But then those Dazzling ruined everything!” she growled. “They…They…” "Made me a laughing stock in front of the whole school, and probably beyond once that videos up?" "Yeah...that. I'm so sorry Michael. I never wanted any of this to happen..." But it did happen. If you hadn’t kept pushing and yanked me from my home then none of it would have happened. You should have believed me when I told you how the real world works! A part of me was tempted to say that aloud, to finally once and for all shut down her optimism and end her friendship crusade. I wanted to blame her and make her feel guilty enough to give up on me in penance. I would be hated for it, but I’d never have to deal with her again. But the sniffling on the other side of the line stopped me. "Look Pinkie, I'm pissed at those Dazzle bitches not you. They’re the ones that did this to me so...just don't blame yourself alright?" I tried to console. It would have been so easy to pin it all on her, but deep down I knew it wouldn’t be right. She may have been annoying and a pain in my side, but I couldn’t hurt her like that for something that wasn’t her fault. I was an angry asshole, but I wasn’t like those disco jackasses. "Michael..." “Look, none of this is on you alright?! I’m angry…but not at you. So stop being upset already, I don’t need to add that to add to my problems.” “Oh…Okay then,” she said sounding a little more cheerful and I sighed in relief. “Thanks for telling me that. Do you want me and the girls to-“ “No,” I cut her off. “I just…I just need to be alone for awhile Pinkie. Today and tomorrow to myself, can you give me that?” I all but pleaded. “Well, if that’s what you want,” she answered sounding slightly disappointed. “It is…please?” “Okie Dokie Lokie,” she chirped sounding more like herself. “I’ll see you on Monday then if you want to talk.” Not like I’ll have a choice anyway. “Sounds good. Have a good night Pinkie.” “Good night Mikey.” And before a chance for more could be said, I hung up and shut my phone off. Sighing aloud, I turned on my washer walked into my living room. “Adagio and the rest will get what’s coming to them. I’ve got all the time in the world to break their game…” And with that, I began to play Doom to de-stress and forget about the awful day. A FEW DAYS LATER The rest of my weekend went by without too much trouble. Mostly because I stayed home for the rest of it, and Pinkie and her friends surprisingly heeded my request and left me alone. I had to give them credit for that. Annoying home invaders they may be but even they seemed to know that when someone needs some space they give it. Sadly those two days were my only respite. Adagio was true to her word and the video got posted online. To make matters worse, my mom saw the video. I had to straight up plead, beg and lie to keep her from driving to me. She was beyond pissed and personally wanted to know who “Hurt Her Baby” as she put it, but I didn’t budge. I had plans for Adagio, Aria and Sonata, and involving my mom would get in the way of them. I was able to convince her that it was just a harmless hazing tradition at the school and that some friends had set it up. I don’t know if she fully believed me, especially with that friends lie, but she backed off. The same could not be said for the school masses however. I was internet famous now, so the stares, jeers and laughter were a never ending grind as I went from class to class. It was extremely annoying, but I played mute and tried to ignore the notoriety, but the ones that got to me the most were the looks of pity. Some of the more sensitive hearted students and quite a few teachers wanted to consolidate me, and that was more annoying than any mocking. I had to ignore the world in order to get through those days because talking would only open everything up. I couldn’t avoid the masses, but I did avoid the Dazzlings and even Sunset. Their work was being carried out by the others so they didn’t need to get their hands dirty. I didn’t even sit next to Derpy in our lunch spot to avoid dragging her into the mess. And so, despite their best efforts, Pinkie and her friends didn’t get a single word out of me as I kept my head down. She kept trying though, even when Rainbow, Flubber, Twilight, Rarity and Applejack saw common sense and decided to give me some space. She just kept bugging me about whether I was Okay or not, just like my mom would do oddly enough. She wasn’t exactly breaking into my house anymore, but she still kept dropping by and ringing my bell on the off chance I would let her in, but I didn’t. And that’s how it went for the next four days. When Thursday rolled around though, I reached my limit. I needed to clear my head and get away from where anyone else could bug me, so that eliminated my house. So with that in mind I, instead of taking the bus home, left my backpack at school and walked over to the town square which was the main entertainment center for the city. There was an arcade, a park, a bowling alley, and even a D&D shop, but I decided to save those for later in favor of the movie theater. The Storm King Theater was a family owned place just like most of the town, but it still showed movies relatively around the same time that bigger franchise chains would. The biggest thing they had over the competition was snacks that didn’t cost an arm and a leg. After the week I had, a cheap escape to de-stress was just what the doctor ordered. I bought a ticket to the latest Romantic Comedy that Hollywood spits out every year and headed inside. And yes, I do enjoy Rom-Coms because, aside from every single one of them being nearly identical and full of the same clichés, they are easy to riff on. Any straight up comedy couldn’t make me laugh as hard as watching the formula play out, and I really needed a laugh. And as an added bonus, no one would think to look for me there, and since anyone else would go with dates, no one would give me attention as I sat by myself in the back. Or at least that was the plan. Surprisingly though, what happened next wasn’t so much bad as it was…unexpected.