Washout For Your Feelings

by Beakwood


Honest Regrets

The atmosphere around the Arena, in which the Washouts would be performing shortly, had a predominance of expectations, mostly exciting and with a degree of anxiety. The majority of ponies living in Ponyville had only a vague knowledge in regards of the stunt group that was becoming wildly popular among Equestrian citizens. But rumours spread like wild fire and soon the entirety of the humble town was present to witness the show.

All but few.

Cloud Kicker glanced at the clouds around her, watching as her companion for the shift, Star Hunter, busted wild clouds formations that were originated from the Everfree Forest. Thankfully there wasn't anything big on schedule for today, which would grant her and Hunter some quick work, but they would only be able to watch the show from above, they couldn't leave their posts until the clockwork clicked in. Dammed whoever invented those things.

The blonde heard rumours of a Washout member visiting Thunderlane's house early this morning, and Kicker couldn't help but wonder what Thunderlane was playing at. It's not a usual thing to have ponies dropping at his house so randomly like that. It couldn't be that he broke past the friendship barrier so fast. Or did he?

'I hate to not know about this stuff, especially with such a close friend of mine.'

"Hey, Kicks! Ya listening?!"

Hunter's booming voice broke Kicker from her thoughts, she blinked rapidly before searching for his presence, immediately locating him only few meters away, hovering smoothly with concern etched across his face.

"Oh, nothing Hunter, just wondering." Kicker replied dismissively. The stallion snorted at this, his dark blue coat becoming even more distinguishable from the foggy pale blue sky all around as he approached the mare.

"Come on Kicks, you don't usually get worried for no good reason. What's going on? I might help give you some peace of mind." He offered with a remarkable amount of gentleness that suprised the blonde. She never saw Hunter being this caring with anypony else.

"Well, if you insist....how often you saw Thunderlane lately?"

Hunter raised an eyebrow in confusion, unsure of why such a close friend of his would be causing Kicker such noticeable worry. Thunderlane wasn't hurt or anything last time he checked.

"Huh, I saw him few times."

"Did he look different?"

"Different?"

"Yeah, like, dreamy and somewhat anxious."

Hunter paused. He wasn't sure why she would ask about how Thunderlane's feelings were acting up, that wasn't something stallions would bother to check.

"Nah. We didn't talk much from few weeks back to now. He's always either at the Wonderbolt HQ or at the Gym. I don't really pay him any visits since he's only at his house late at night or way too early in the morning."

"Would it surprise you if I said that he probably has a marefriend?"

"Say what now?!" Hunter jolted, his constant wing flaps pausing momentarily, the stallion quickly recovered from the sudden drop with a quick inverted summersault. He stared back at the mare with incredulity. "T-Thunderlane?! But....how?! And when?! Something like that would've spread so quickly! You know it better than anypony how many mares were trying to edge on him for so long."

Cloud Kicker couldn't help the annoyance she felt at the reminder of said mares. Yes, Thunderlane has been wanted for a fair share of mares that, in Kicker's opinion, weren't ever worth the trouble of being acknowledge of their existence. Perhaps Kicker would have given Cloud Chaser the benefit of doubt, but Thunderlane was never around aside work or his house. The very few times the stallion bothered to go out were during important events and festivals, but even at those he was incredibly hard to be found.

"Yes, yes, yes. I'm well aware, but Thunder had other things to worry about. Except that something must've changed ever since he got into the Wonderbolts. Dunno what that could be, but he told me there was a mare he was seeing often during his Gym schedule, days went by and he fell for her. For what reason I have no idea, he never told me."

Star Hunter nodded, seemingly lost at what to say in regards to Thunderlane's life twist. Normally he wouldn't bother to pry into his friend's life without reason, yet curiosity got the better of him.

"Soooo, who's the mare? Somepony you know?" Cloud Kicker chuckled.

"Yep! Remember our days back at Wonderbolt Academy?"

"Eh, somewhat. It wasn't really a thrill ride for me." Hunter replied, frowning at the memories. "Pulled muscles here and there way too often."

"That's what you get for not exercising." Chided Kicker, shaking her head in disappointment. "Honestly Hunter, you could be such a great flier if you didn't spend most of the time just stargazing the whole night. You only work morning shifts because you never manage to stay awake the rest of day, which happens to be the best time to get some athletic routine going. You got powerful wings, you should treat them better."

Hunter grunted, he wasn't really concerned about becoming top flier in the slightest. Yet, he felt guilty by the worried tone of voice that Kicker had on her words. She meant well and he should at least consider her words more carefully.

His eyes drifted to the ground below, shame forcing him into a search for a reason to avoid the mare's piercing gaze set on him.

"Hey....isn't that Thunderlane?"

Kicker shifted her attention towards the ground below. Truth to be told she spotted the aforementioned stallion almost immediately. His dark coat was easily distinguishable in the sea of colors that reigned over the several bleachers. But the stallion wasn't at one of the bleachers, instead he was nearby the Washout campsite, along the unmistakable company of a Washout member.

"Well, would you look at that..." Kicker muttered to herself. " I'll be right back Hunter!"

"What? Where you going?" He asked, perplexed at her sudden departure.

But Hunter got no answer as the blonde dived straight towards the duo below, her angle of approach dangerously narrow if considering her speed and distance to the ground. Cloud Kicker was unfazed by her own reckless stunt, flying alongside Rainbow Dash for so many years earned the blonde few quirks other ponies wouldn't dare to try.

She immediately regretted diving so narrowly as her landing options became clearly scarce and were truly uncomfortable to perform. Nevertheless she came to an abrupt stop at the ground, a cloud of dirty elevating spontaneously due the intensity of Kicker's wing flaps. She winced as her hooves protested at the unnecessary stress they were forced upon, hitting the ground with anything but smoothness.

Thunderlane and the Washout member, who was immediately recognizable as Lightning Dust, simply stared at the spectacular display of brutal landing. The stallion seemed somewhat baffled at the power display, Lightning chuckled at the roughness of the stunt.

"Woah, easy on the knees. That's the kind of thing that will pop all your joints, suprising ya didn't went face full on the floor." The daredevil commented, noticing the blonde wincing a bit as waves of pain washed up her legs.

"I admit I should've thought this one more throughly." Kicker replied, gritting her teeth as she took a step forward. "Urgh, this will take some time to forget."

"Tell me about it, I had one nasty bruise on a super charge t-

"Kicker, is there any reason you had to be this urgent?" Interrupted Thunderlane, still frowning due the uncharacteristic carelessness the blonde displayed just a moment ago.

"Oh, not really. I felt like checking on you and whatnot." Kicker replied with a wink before returning her attention to the other mare. "You must be Lightning Dust. Thunderlane talked a lot about you."

Lightning's eyebrows perked in surprise. She pegged Thunder for the kind that doesn't go around talking about his own life to others. A sidelong glance towards the stallion was enough of an answer on how she felt about it.

Sensing that she could be getting Thunderlane into trouble the blonde quickly acted on it.

"Not that I wouldn't known you! I mean, we kinda met at the Academy. We shared a bunker but you weren't the most talkative pony."

"Oh, that." Lightning said, her usual hesitancy at the mention of anything regarding her academy experiences becoming noticable. "Yeah, I was always the action type, never felt the need to chatter pointless stuff."

"I could tell." Was all Kicker could say in regards to Lightning's antisocial behavior. Even now the blonde could feel that the daredevil didn't want to talk with her at all. "I don't mean to interrupt anything, I can go if you want."

"There's no need Kicker, Lightning is going back to the barracks anyway." Thunderlane said with a tone of caution that intrigued her.

Lightning huffed, annoyed at the feeble attempt of dismissal coming from the stallion.

"Ya still didn't take the tickets." She said, sounding upset all of sudden. Thunderlane groaned.

"Look! I told you I'm not taking charity! I will pay like everypony else!" The stallion replied, clearly frustrated with Lightning's insistence.

"It ain't charity ya doofus! I'm giving them because I want to!" Dust snarled back, her patience running thin quickly. "Now take the damn tickets or I swear I will shove them up your-

"Woah, woah, woah! What's going on?! Why you two so angry?" Kicker asked while raising both hooves in an soothing attempt. Lightning rolled her eyes before adressing the blonde.

"Spearhead here thinks I'm playing favorites or some dumb shit like that. Can't see I'm trying to be nice for the sake of it."

"Oh, that sounds legitimate." Cloud Kicker shifted her attention towards the stallion. "Why you not taking up the offer? Yeah, she's a member of the stunt team in this show and you two relate somewhat, so what? It's not exactly a bad thing."

Thunderlane sighed in bitter contempt. While understanding of Lightning's attempt at doing something nice for him, especially after they just agreed on dating, it was difficult for him to not let the financial matter take the better of his judgement.

"I know that. I just don't feel it's fair with everypony else. I can pay my own tickets." Lightning chuckled. "What?"

"Ya can pay the average seats, not the ones I'm offering ya. Unless ya can spare two hundred bits for a single ticket." She replied, confident that the stallion wouldn't dare to pay such amount for few minutes of entertainment. "Also these happen to be under the few places with cover, I'm sure it will be more easy going for ya. Unless ya ok with frying your dark coat under the sun."

"That's very considerate of your part." Kicker complimented. Lightning shrugged, not really caring for what the blonde thought about it.

Thunderlane still seemed reluctant. Dust could understand his hesitancy, she also didn't like to feel that she owned anypony anything.

"Hey, how about a deal?" The turquoise said, a grin on her face that got Thunderlane's attention instantaneously. "Ya take the tickets, and ya pay dinner later."

Cloud Kicker couldn't help the stupid smirk on her face as she stared at both of them, a mischievous glint on her eyes as she pondered her next words carefully.

Thunderlane was taken aback by her proposal, it made him feel awkward, especially since his boss was right next to them.

And his boss was anything but subtle.

"Hmmmm, I got that feeling that tonight will be a good night." Kicker spoke outloud, making both ponies glance at her briefly.

"So, what do ya say? Deal?" Lightning asked, hopeful that the stallion would be more lenient this time around.

"I swear Thunder that if you say 'no' I will tell everypony you're gay." Kicker threatened, but her voice was playful at the same time. Thunderlane glared daggers at the blonde before looking back at Dust.

Lightning eyed the blonde in confusion, unsure of what was up with her and why she was opressing the stallion with pointless threats.

"Yeah, I guess that's fair. Won't there be a show for the evening?" Thunderlane asked.

"Eh, not. It's our last day and Rolling and Shorty are desperate to take a break. Gotta make sure they are not wear out too much. This stuff doesn't allow room for slacking off." Lightning replied confidently.

Thunderlane could've sworn he saw a flash of worry on Lightning's features. Perhaps they were reaching on a limit point that Lightning wasn't sure they could surpass.

"Also, I think I should ask who she is?" Dust added, pointing her hoof at the purple pegasus. Thunderlane groaned.

"Cloud Kicker, this is Lightning Dust and vice versa. Of course Kicker already knew you beforehoof." He replied morosely. "Kicker is the Weather Captain of Ponyville."

Lightning's eyes widened in understanding. She did remember of the blonde somewhat, she was the mare that spread the rumour about Thunderlane being gay at the mare's bunker one night. Lightning didn't pay her any mind at the time.

"Oh, she's your boss." The turquoise mare chuckled at the awkwardness. "Wow, that's tough luck Thunder. At least you don't have to deal with Rainbow anymore."

Thunderlane gave her an incredulous look in return.

"Are you serious? Rainbow's locker is right beneath mine! I'm far from not having to deal with her!"

Lightning winced, she had actually forgotten that important detail.

"Come on Thunder, I'm not that bad." Kicker pouted, feigning being offended at the way he spoke on her introduction. Thunder rolled his eyes in disbelief.

"No, but you still seem obsessed with embarrassing me every chance you get. Not to mention all the pointless flirting."

"Flirting?" Lightning asked, a frown on her face as she faced the other mare. "Wasn't aware Thunder had mares after his tail. I thought you said to everypony he was gay after all."

"WHAT?!"

The stallion stood in shock. Staring avidly at both of them, a look on his face that clearly demanded explanations.

Cloud Kicker, for the first time that Thunderlane could ever remember, seemed incredibly fearful.

"I-I-I...I didn't...I mean...err...kinda?" The blonde stuttered for few seconds, her words failing her as her brain was incapable of coming up with any sort of decent explanation.

"So it was you!" Thunderlane yelled, the sharp accusation cut through Kicker as a huge wave of guilt. "Mind telling me why?!"

Lightning was standing at the side while watching the strange scene unfold. She had no idea of what was going on and there was no more time to wonder either.

"Lane, I gotta go. See ya at the show." The mare warned before trotting back to the barracks, where Rolling and Shorty would be expecting her with their judgemental looks.

Thunderlane barely acknowledged Lightning's sudden absence, his attention fully focused on the fidgeting blonde.

Cloud Kicker knew she was in deep water. Hay, she wasn't expecting for Lightning Dust to remember that particular night back at the barracks! Also she could've sworn that the daredevil was sleeping at the time.

Her eyes timidly raised to meet Thunderlane's piercing gaze on her, his nostrils flaring at each deep exhale of breath, a sign of how furious he was at the moment.

"Look, I know I screwed up, but I had a good reason to say that stuff." The mare started, hopeful he would care to listen her explanation without hating on her even more.

"Did you now? Then this better be good Kicker, but rest assured I won't resent you for it." Was Thunderlane's dry reply, much to the mare's surprise.

"You won't?" She asked skeptically. The stallion shrugged.

"Eh, I'm really angry, but..." He trailed off, his expression softening a bit. "I don't see much to complain. Things were complicated back then and I don't think that having several ponies breathing down my neck would've helped."

"At least you're reasonable. Also don't think I did that for the sake of having you for myself or anything like that! I already have somepony else in mind." The mare warned jokingly. Thunderlane merely huffed at her reply. "Speaking of it....are two a thing?"

"What? Me and Dust?" Kicker nodded. "Well, yeah. We kinda are, but we decided to go easy. It's a first for both of us."

"Wait, what?! You're her first!?" The blonde shouted, incredulous at the astonishing information. Thunderlane frowned.

"Yes, so what?" He retorted defensively.

"Nothing! It's just...odd. I mean....both you are kinda around the same age and not really bad looking at all." Thunderlane raised an eyebrow.

"Huh, thanks, I guess?"

"So you actually said you love her?"

At this Thunderlane didn't reply immediately. No, neither him or Lightning ever said anything about love. He wasn't sure if that was a bad thing or not, perhaps it was something they would figure out with time. How they would do that it was the real question.

"I care for her, a lot. So does she. That's it for now."

Cloud Kicker stared mouth agape for a second, unsure if what she heard was real or not.

"What the actual....what?! You two decided to be a couple with even being sure if you love each other?!" She shrieked at the baffling event. The stallion let out a pained sigh before replying.

"Listen, this is not so simple. We still need to figure out some stuff, but we agreed with doing that together and without worrying about whether it will work out or not." Thunderlane hoped that he sounded convincing enough. The possibility of this relationship not working worried him to an unimaginable extent.

Cloud Kicker had no idea of what to say. Being a couple for the sake of being one sounded wrong in her ears, and it made her worry immensely that Thunderlane could easily get heartbroken out of this. And she wouldn't be able to blame neither depending on how such event happened.

"Lane." Kicker said, a motherly tone to her voice that Thunderlane easily recognized. "I don't want to see you getting hurt."

The stallion smiled appreciatively at her mindfulness. He could never stop being grateful for how much Kicker cared for his well being along the years. It was the main reason he couldn't really be mad at her for spraying rumours on his behalf. She always tried to do what was best for him, no matter how unorthodox her methods were.

"I will be fine." He assured the mare, fully aware that he most likely wouldn't be if things didn't work out. " Besides, I'm not the one to be worried about on getting hurt."

Kicker's ears perked in alarm, a sense of unease spreading on her as she fully understood about who the stallion was clearly concerned.

"Again, are you sure of this? We both know how Lightning was back at the Academy. Now she has her own group os misfits, and they don't seem all that worried about how long they can keep this kind of lifestyle."

Thunderlane's expression soured, he was expecting somepony would point that out.

"I can't tell her to quit. I mean....what else is she supposed to do? Be a courier? Work a dull job as a weather pony?" He asked, exasperate breaths at the end of each sentence.

"For the love of...Thunder, just....hear me out." Kicker pleaded. "If you don't do something about this, sooner or later, Lightning is going to get hurt. Bad. Do you really want to see that? Is her career worth the cost of not being able to fly or walk again?"

The crestfallen look on his face was enough of an answer for the mare. She felt bad for the dilemma he would be facing upon.

"What....what do I do then? What else there is that would possibly make her happy?" He asked hopelessly.

'Huh, he doesn't say he loves her but wants to make her happy. Urgh, stallions.' Kicker shook her thoughts away before replying. "How about....the Wonderbolts?"

Thunderlane gave her that ironic look of when others ponies thought she was lying through her teeth about not having affairs.

"Kicker, what is this bullshit? Do you really think she wants to go back there? Or even that Spitfire would want her there?" The stallion was trying his best to not yell the obvious at her. "Are you trying to get me into trouble? If I even tried to ask any of them they would kill me!"

"Well, it doesn't hurt to try." Kicker replied with a shrug. Thunderlane glared.

"What part of 'they will kill me' went right over your head?!!"

"The killing part. I'm sure they won't kill you, break a leg or dislocate a joint perhaps, but you won't die from it. There's no reason to get so worked up."

"I hate you so much right now."

"Awww, don't say that. I love having you around." The mare pouted with a sad face. For Thunderlane her feelings were as believable as Rainbow Dash being a math teacher.

"I guess I should get to my sea." Thunderlane said as he noticed the huge line of ponies forming nearby the main entrance. "You still on your shift?"

"Yep! Me and Hunter, I guess he must be angry that I'm chilling down here." She replied with a chuckle. "Poor guy needs to enjoy better the daylight."

"Why don't you help him with that? He likes you a fair amount after all." Thunderlane suggested. Kicker's eyes widened in surprise.

"Does he now? Hmmm, I guess I can work something around." A suspicious smirk grew on her face. Thunderlane snorted at her obvious train of thought.

"Yeah, well, be easy on him. So many disastrous relationships made him a bit jumpy when it comes to spend time with other mares." He warned. "Just as you worry about me I worry about him. We're good friends after all."

"No doubt. I will make an effort to behave. Any idea what he likes most on a mare?" She asked, already plotting her next encounter. Thunderlane shrugged.

"Wild guess. Perhaps mares that don't talk too often about themselves or about foals."

"Is that so? Then this should be rather easy. Speaking of foals..." Kicker added as an afterthought. "If things between you and Lightning go far,...will you two consider raising a foal?"

Thunderlane muddled in silence for a few seconds. The idea wasn't an alien concept for him, but he was painfully aware that some fears of his own wouldn't allow it.

"Who knows? It might happen when we both retire. But right now? I will be dammed if I risk a kid having to go through the same things I did."