//------------------------------// // Chapter 3: Pain Shared // Story: Falling Down // by RoccoRoccs //------------------------------// "Seconds?" Cherry asked as she helped herself to a fourth round of cherry cobbler. "Ugh... No. More. Cherries..." I groaned from my fetal position under a mountain of dirty plates. Despite my new found demeanor of happiness and longing for verbal stimulation from another pony, I had clammed up the moment Cherry trotted through the door. It was as if I were a young buck again who had tried to and somehow succeeded in asking a mare out on a date. I was just along for the ride at this point and trying not to snap again like I did before. It was so strange! I harbored no real emotional connection with this mare, no affection nor any attraction but I was acting as shy as pony at his first day of school. I guess it was a shared bond of sadness that was linking us together, that or her quirky, over powering want to be near me. Either way, I wasn't the most comfortable pony to be around and if she wanted to take the time to have a poke at the old buck with a broken heart, so be it. "Well, I guess I just can't get enough of them! They are my namesake after all." She said sitting back down to the table with what remained of the cobbler... There was half left... She was going to eat all of it. "Where do you even keep that stuff! You are so small!" "It good!" She said in protest. "Good yes, but gosh is it filling." "So, Chance..." "Cherry..." "If I ask you what your deal is again, are you going to try and vomit all over me again with more self pity? "No... not pity... But I think I did swallow a few pits so no promises." "Cute. So spill it, why do you live in this paid for house, have no job, no friends and what amounts to no life?" "Gee... Don't make me seem TOO appealing..." "You want to get through this or not!? I'm just saying like it is." "Fine... The house is paid for because a law suite that I didn't file. Ok? Satisfied?" "You know that I'm not... Why the law suit and how the hay can you collect on something you didn't file?" "We are really doing this, aren't we..." "Oh yeah. We are." "Ok... It was three Years ago yesterday, me and my wife-" "You were married!?" "You want to know this or not!?" "Sorry! Sorry!" "AS I WAS SAYING... Me, my wife and my two kids were on our way back home after a weeks vacation on the coast. I flew us there in a rental chariot but we decided to bring the kids back by train so they could see the country side... It was my idea. Cedar loved trains and his little brother loved looking out the window at all the mountains and fields. I thought a easy ride back would help us hold on to the feeling of being on vacation a little longer. I didn't want it to end. I had been swamped at work with pier reviews and new marks to evaluate... My kids thought their daddy was spy." I said with a laugh. "To them I was their superhero, but to me, they were the real hero's. But after months of working in that field... I wasn't feeling all that super, I barely felt like a pony at all. Everypony thinks working in the government sector is this big glamorous job, they think we are all spys or agents of some kind... But what nopony knows is just how soulless it truly is. Ponies you see everyday on the street and think nothing of, ponies in high positions of government, even ponies who are in our own agency... Everypony get's evaluated at some point for something if needed. Nopony was off the table, not even Princess Luna. We would get a mark and evaluate. That was the job. Don't ask questions, don't turn it down... We just... dug. We would dig their lives apart one shredded moment at a time all without them knowing. It felt... wrong. We would find things out about them that nopony but them should know, things that would drive them to the edge of where I am if they ever came to light! All in the interest of public safety... There was something remarkably foul about the work, as if you were not just reading the worst thing about somepony, but actually exposing them. So to say that it took it's pound of flesh was an understatement. Things had started to turn south for me pretty hard mentally after the attack at Littlehorn. Everypony became suspect and the work had tripled. So when the chance to get away came, I ran for it. I scooped up my family and ran to the coast for some very much needed r&r. So I guess you could say I never wanted the moment to end. Everything was just better, just like that. We were all together for the first time in forever it felt. All my worries about work were gone, Lolly and I had some close time together, we all played on the beach... It was heaven. I had actually started thinking on the train ride back about quitting my job and working free lance you know? Maybe something in the private sector? But that thought never got the chance to even become an Idea." "So the what happened?" Cherry asked with near baited breath... or a yawn, I couldn't tell. "Then, the world ended around me. Right there, on that train. Everypony likes to think about forever... They like to think they will live forever or this moment or that moment will last forever... But nopony ever likes to think of what is just around the bend. The conductor was tired, the tracks we were on were worn and buckled from neglect... That's what the report said anyhow. One moment I'm sitting across from Lolly and the next..." "It's ok... Let it out." "The next I woke up in a field missing a wing. I looked back to the train and it was a mess... The cars had buckled and collapsed atop one another. Even while I was dazed and bleeding I knew there was no hope, but I ignored it. I ran down the hillside the what was left, but it was all burning. Everything was on fire, the fuel from the engine had leaked or been sprayed in every direction. It was like standing at the gates of hell, but the feeling... That damn feeling of hopelessness it was what hurt the most. I pushed myself forward through the flames, throwing bits of wood and broken glass out of my way. I dug for what felt like an eternity before I saw the door to our cabin. I don't know how many bodies I saw along the way... twenty? thirty, maybe? Each time my heart stopped when I saw a bit of tail or a leg just being covered up by debris. But there was no sign of them... at least not until I lifted the door out of the way. I looked down... and... all I could see was their faces, just their faces looking back up at me. Their eyes closed, Lolly had wrapped them up into a little ball under her. She did her best, Cherry. She did what any mother would do, but it wasn't enough! I crawled down to them and tried to wake them. I knew I was too late but I just kept trying. I didn't want to believe it, so I tried to carry my family to safety, but with only one with I was going nowhere. I didn't know what to do, so I just curdled up on the other side, looking back at Lolly to protect our boys. I knew there was nothing I could do, so I just prayed that I would go quick. I wanted them back so bad, that I was willing to chance there being an afterlife so I could see them again. The smoke started to roll in and the fire howled that goddess awful roar as it crept in. The last thing I remember is the searing pain. There was just so much pain... The fire was burning me, the smoke was choking me and the loss was crushing me. I just wanted to see them again. We were all just so happy, I wanted it back! I wanted them back! But all I have left are the memories. I woke up in a hospital back here in town a few days later. They said the impact had taken them quickly... They said I would never fly again... They said that I would recover. But did I? Did I really recover? The other night, when you found me, that was the spot. That was were I was supposed to die. Not that night, but back then, with my family. I guess I just thought if I did it there, maybe I would see them again. After the reports came out, a lawsuit was filled on behalf of the families that were lost. The M.W.T was forced to pay out to the survivors. Though, to be honest, I doubt the lawsuit was needed. Applejack herself came to see me in the hospital, she looked dead on her hooves at that. I guess a full day of talking to ponies who were hurt by your company does that to you. The M.W.T payed off my house and set aside something of a trust so that I wouldn't have to work again. The irony of it all is that I work for Ministry of Image and the Ministry of Moral. So I highly doubt that anypony else got the same treatment. It was kind of them, but all it did was leave me with nothing but my thoughts. " Cherry sat in stunned silence, judging by her face, she was there mentally. It was as if I had recorded the events of that night and played them back for her. Her eye's glistened with tears, but then again, mine were too. I had only told a few ponies about what had happened that day. To everypony else I had just been in a bad accident that cost me my family, enough though it was, few knew why I felt the way I did. Cherry was now one of the few outside of the offical reports that knew what had happened. Had I done the right thing? Did unloading on the twenty something year old mare really help me in anyway. As strange as it was, seeing somepony else cry right in front of me over what I had endured that day did somehow feel validating. It was like I was right to feel the way I was and that maybe self pity was not the only thing I was feeling. "I'm so... so sorry Chance..." "It's ok, you could never of helped it. It happened and now I'm here." "I know... I know I couldn't of helped. I'm just so sorry!" She said as she came to my side to hug me. "i wish I could go back and stop it from happening. I wish I could change things for you, but I can't." "It's ok, Cherry. You helped just by listening to me. Nopony else did." I said as I wrapped her in a hug. What was I to this mare? Why did she care so much? Can ponies really and truly connect over sorrow? Is it really that fluid? Was the pain I was feeling enough so that she could feel it too? I had so many questions but the hopelessness kept them at bay, for the moment it just felt good to sit here and let somepony hug me. It was freeing to talk, but it felt so much better just to feel somepony care. "Hey, thanks for listening to me." "Anytime Chance, anytime..." The two of us had to have spent an hour just holding each other. I had all but completely grown fond of her heartbeat when we separated and found our way to the living room. As long as the moment lasted, it was still fleeting. But with the sun on its way down and Fetlock and hour's trot out of town, we both decided it would be best if she were to head home. Like any good buck would, I offered to escort her on the long journey. Understandably, after all I had shared, we both elected to not take the train, but instead to trot our way. We spent the time talking about Lolly and the kids, it was as if she knew them by the way she listened so intently, then again, I had spilled enough about them to write a book. But this time, there were no tears, we were laughing about the good times. "Hey Chance?" "hmmm?" "You know, I was thinking. You should probably get a job or something." "Me? Get another job? Why?" "Well, sitting at the house all day can't be good for you... If the last three years have not proven it to you yet that is." "I guess it wouldn't be a bad idea. But where would I go?" "What about that Ministry you were talking about... the M.O.I or M.O.M? Would they take you back?" "Shortcake, I don't think that would be a good idea. I was growing to hate that place before the crash, now I don't know if I could go back." "Think about it, ok? I mean, you seemed to be good at it by the way you talked. Maybe there could be something else you could do." "I'll think about it... Maybe I'll drop by my old office tomorrow and kick some rocks around." "Oh! The one in Canterlot!? I'm going to be there tomorrow! We could get lunch!" "You!? What on earth are you doing in Canterlot?" "We have a delivery going out that way and I could take a break afterwards! I know the really awesome little bistro there, we can get take out and hang out by the falls." "Yeah? What would it be that you would want exactly? I think I owe you two meals at this point." "Oh! Oh! I love their cherry pie!" "...Shocker..." "Hey! I like cherries! It's-" "Your name sake... I know." "SEE! Now you're getting it!" She said as she stopped in the middle of the road. "Welp, this is my stop! I can take it from here." I cast a glance down the long roadway to the small burning lights down the road, this whole area must be her families land. As far as I could see there were cherry trees picked clean, no doubt her doing. "You sure I can't take you the rest of the way? Seems a bit far." "Nah, I can hack it! Besides, dad doesn't like randoms ponies showing up unannounced. Oh and Chance... Go check on that job thing... I really think it would be good for you." "Ok... I will." "Well, so long stranger! See you tomorrow!" "Bye, Cherry and thanks... for everything." The two of us parted ways, not even a hundred meters from where we had just met. To think that she would have been here the day it happened, just down the road. To think that she was the one that would push me out of the way of that train at the last minute. Talk about happenstance. I aimed my nose back south towards ponyville, still hurting, but the weight on my shoulders feeling lighter by the day. As much as I hated to admit it to myself, being around her had a strange effect on me. It was like for the first time I actually wanted to get better. I felt like when she was there that I could open up and let the demons out. It was just so crazy that I never saw it coming. I still felt the way I did, I don't know if there would ever be any changing that. But maybe... just maybe I could let go of a little of that pain. Maybe I could shoulder it a bit more. Maybe the ax wouldn't fall for a while.