//------------------------------//
// A Cry In The Night 
// Story: Beyond My Grave: Night Terrors 
// by AnnEldest 
//------------------------------//

“It was very nice of you to come all this way to see us,” said Shining Armor.

“It was our pleasure. Right, Luna?” Celestia asked. I knew what she was trying to do. She would always try to pull me into a conversation when I didn't speak much.

“Of course, sister,” I answered, putting on my most sincere fake smile.

“It's always nice seeing you,” Cadance said. She then looked at me and noticed the bandages wrapped around my broken wing. “How are you doing with your wing?”

“Slowly but surely it's getting better. I just can't wait to be able to fly again,” I said with a smile.

“That's good,” she said. 

“Yeah… thanks. Still hurts like hell though,” I joked.

"Luna, language, please," Celestia said in a displeasing tone. She never liked it when I swore. She never thought it was proper for a princess to talk in such a way. Maybe she was right, but that never stopped me. I just rolled my eyes when she corrected me.

"It still hurts a lot though," I reworded myself.

"Better," Celestia said. Cadance giggled a little, trying to hide it from me.
 
“Flurry Heart has been wanting to see you,” Shining Armor said as he brought her to us. She was laughing and just being her little adorable self. Celestia and I gave out small giggles as we watched her. She was getting bigger, I could tell. Celestia then grabbed Flurry with her own magic and carried her. 

“Hello, Flurry,” Celestia said playfully. “Did you miss me?” Flurry just giggled in response. 

"She has gotten big," I said. “So, how have you been doing?” I asked them.

“Fine. Everything’s been fine here,” said Cadance. 

But I could tell that from the looks that Celestia and Shining Armor gave each other that they didn't really believe that. I decided not to say anything, for I didn't want to cause any problems. We didn't say much more to each other after that. I supposed that that was all I was going to get out for that night.

It was a quick trot to the dining room, accompanied by several greetings to guards and other ponies in the castle that evening. A familiar barrage of smiles and polite nods.

Everything had become rote, and I was prepared for another dinner of nothing of interest. It wasn’t that I didn’t care or wasn't worried about Cadance. It was that I didn’t believe that I could do anything. Cadance had all that was needed.

Celestia raised her, Shining Armor fell in love with her and Twilight was practically a sister to her. The four of them were always together. Then all of sudden, I just pop in the picture, out of place. There really wasn't any purpose for me, and if I'm honest, I didn't really feel like I belonged there.

In some ways, Cadance didn't really need me. Why would she? She already had everypony else. When you really think about it, it seemed surprising to me that everypony was saying she was depressed. She had everything that any normal Pony could ask for.

She had a husband and a loving beautiful daughter, with a sister-in-law who she was very close to. And though she didn't have a mother, she was raised by someone who raised her as if she was. Why would she be depressed when she had everything? How could someone who had everything they wanted feel like they have nothing?  

The grand table that we sat at was easily large enough to sit an additional dozen or so ponies, depending on their size. It was usually just the two of them dining alone, though. During the dinner, the topic switched to the guards, the other 3 doing most of the talking. The conversation around the table evolved from the story from story.

Cadence and I would occasionally give each other small glances. It was as if we were trying to find a reason to talk to each other, but none of us said anything. I looked very carefully at her. She didn't look like she was depressed. But what did I know?

When Flurry started showing signs of sleepiness, Cadance volunteered to tuck the foal in, and when nopony objected, she picked the sleepy foal up with her magic and carried her to her nursery. Celestia looked at Shining Armor as Cadance left the room.

"How have she been lately?" Celestia asked him.

He frowned a little. "She hasn't been herself lately, I'm afraid to say."

"I feared that you were going to say that," Celestia said.

"Is there a reason for her sudden sadness?" I asked. I personally wanted to know more about this. She seemed fine to me, but I wanted to know why they thought that.

Shining Armor sighed. "The birth of a baby can trigger a load of powerful emotions, from excitement and joy to fear and anxiety. But it can also result in something you might not expect such as depression. Usually first time mothers experience postpartum after childbirth, which commonly includes mood swings, crying spells, anxiety and difficulty sleeping," he explained very carefully to me. However, I knew most of this already. 

"I understand that much. It's called ‘Baby blues’. Typically begins within the first two to three days after delivery, and may last for up to two weeks," I said. "But it's been far more than 2 weeks now. Shouldn't she be over it by now?"

"Sister, you must understand that some new mothers experience a more severe, long-lasting form of the depression. Rarely, an extreme mood disorder called postpartum psychosis also may develop after childbirth," Celestia explained.

"But why?" I asked.

Shining Armor thought to himself. Trying to think of an answer. When he didn't say anything, Celestia answered it herself.

"There is really no known reasons for it, Luna. It's simply a complication of giving birth."

I nodded a little. "So she’s just been depressed then?"

"She's not herself, Princess. She been distant from everypony, including me and Flurry. She doesn't eat or sleep much. I'm worried about her," Shining Armor said sadly. I could see the emotion in his eyes. 

"I'm just asking. I don't really know what's been going on with her. I only know what I've been told," I shrugged a little. 

"I hope I answered some of your question," he said.

"Don't worry. You did," I said with a nod. 

"How long has she been like this?" Celestia then asked.

"2, 3 months I think," he answered.

"How long does it last?" I asked.

Shining Armor shrugged. "It depends on the pony and if or when they get treatment."

"Treatment?" I asked.

"We already know that postpartum depression usually occurs in the first 4 to 6 weeks after giving birth, and it is highly unlikely to get better all by itself," Celestia said.

"However, Cadance refuses to get any kind of help. She claims that she is fine,” added Shining.

"Maybe she is," I said.

"You wouldn't think that if you saw her the last few months or knew her the way I do," Shining said to me. I knew that he didn't mean for it to sound rude about it, but I took some offense to it. Only because I knew that he was right. 

"I'm not going to argue with that one," I said as calmly as I could say it. Celestia must have noticed me getting slightly annoyed for she tried changing the subject.

"Maybe we shouldn't talk about this now. Cadance will back any time now,” she said calmly.

"Why not sister? You are the one who brought it up first?" I asked.

"And now I'm dropping it," Celestia said more sternly.   

"Well, damn, Celestia you don't need to be harsh about it. We are just having a conversion," I snapped back.

"I'm not but you don't need to have such a mouth,” she said, looking at me with intense eyes.

“You know what? You're right. I understand," I said as I  stood from my chair. "But if you will forgive me, I am tired from the long trip here.”

“Of course, Princess,” Shining Armor answered.

I then turned to my sister. “Celestia, I shall see you again in the morning.”

“Of course, little sister,” she said, trying to stay calm with me. 

She didn't seem to be happy with me trotting away so soon, but I’d had enough for the night. I turned, and calmly trotted from the room, letting them turn back to their idle conversation. The door shut behind me, leaving the other ponies alone to finish dining with Celestia.

Head high, I walked along the corridor, passing many of the same guards who saw me going to dinner with another polite greeting. I walked past my quarters, heading up the stairs to the tower that overlooked the whole Crystal Empire and I trotted back to my guest chambers.

I trotted over to the window. It was an extremely dark night outside, with the moon offering most of what little illumination there was. The window was closed, so I unhooked the latch with my magic and swung it open. The cool night air drifted in. I stuck my head out and gazed at the surrounding landscape. 

The wind greeted me as I stepped out to observe the city winding down as the night settled into place. I spent the next few hours in my room reading or pacing. I just couldn't see anypony right now.

My mind went back to what happened to me and Discord. I tried so hard to move past it, but a part of me couldn't help it. They always seemed to come to me like flashbacks. It was like my mind didn't want to let it go.

“No! You can’t!” 

“Thank you for trying to help me. You too, Luna. I’m so sorry that I dragged you both into this. I should have never done so. I thought you two could help but it’s not worth this. I’m done running. It’s not your fault. It’s okay,” 

“Silver, you can’t go with-” 

“Luna, thanks for being my friend.” 

“I’m sorry…” 

“I’ll be okay.” 

“No…Let me take the fall.”

“Run.” 

“What?” 

“Run and never come back.”

.........

“Where do you think you’re going honey?” 

“Now let’s have some fun. Just like old times.”

“Luna?!” 

“Let her go!!!”


It was all just a reminder of what he did to us and what we left behind. I didn't have nightmares, but I still dreamt about Silver Blitz. Not as much as Discord did, but I did have some.

I hated that we left her with those monsters. We could have done something, but I was too scared to do anything. Now I have to live with that. I told Discord that we would find her, though, I had doubt that we would. 

"You know you won't get better with talking like that," a voice said. 

I smirked a little. I turned around and saw a light appear. It started with a slight shimmer, as if the air in front of me was being warped and twisted. Then, in a flash of pale, silvery light,  a pony appeared before me.

It was the same pony that I saw in the bathroom that one time. I know I said that I hadn't seen anything in a while, but I couldn't count this one as a spirit. Mostly because out of every thing I saw, this one was the one that I never could tell if it was real or if it was in my head.

Nonetheless, I had decided not too long ago to talk to just this one pony. Even if I didn't know if he was an actual spirit or not. 

"I know very well of that," I said to him.

"Then why talk like that?" He asked me.

"I don't know. I guess it still hurts," I answered. 

"It will for a while, you know that? You can't just forget about it," He warned.

"I know that,” I said. “I won't forget it. I am going to try to move one from it, though. I have a life to live and I don't plan on letting this stop me.”

"Only if you let it," He said.

"And I won't let it,” I answered.

"Good, but I must ask. Why are you speaking to me again? I thought you hated me."

"I am mad at you, but with everything that happened, I thought I might as well try to let some things go. I am still mad at you, but consider this as a start," I said with a smile.

"You love me, though?"

I was going to say something when I began to hear what sounded to me like somepony was crying. "What the hell was that?" 

"It sounds like it came from the other room. Might want to check on that,” he answered.

I trotted out of room and out to the hallway, trotting past some of the doors. I wondered if Celestia or Shining Armor had heard it. I went down the long halls, passing the guards who were most likely wondering what I was doing this late at night.

The corridor was dark with only the light of the full moon streaming through the windows outside, and everything was quiet.  I soon ended up at the door to Flurry's room. Maybe it was that she’d had a nightmare. I quietly opened the door a little with my magic and peeked inside.

Flurry laid still in her crib, sleeping peacefully. I began to close the door back up. That was when I heard the crying again. I looked back and saw Cadance standing over by a window looking outside. She didn't seem to notice me.  

She was covered in sweat and her blood was pulsing with adrenaline. Her eyes wet and her breathing fast. She was definitely the pony I had heard crying. She sat on the floor and kept crying to herself.

Now I knew what Shining Armor was talking about. This wasn't like Cadance at all. It hurt me to see her like this. I wanted to trot in and talk to her, but I didn't know what to say or how to help her. I watched her cry for a few minutes before I trotted in the room.

"Cadance?" I whispered.

She gasped and jumped a little when she heard my voice. She stood up and looked at me, surprised. "Luna?! What are you doing here?"

"I heard crying. Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yes… of course... I'm fine," she said, but I could see it in her eyes. She was crying for help but was too scared to ask for it.

"Why are you crying then?" I asked.

"I wasn't..." she lied.

"Cadance, you know you can tell me if something is bothering you?" I assured.

"I know what you're trying to do and I appreciated it but I'm fine.” She was trying to derail my focus.

"Cadance, you can talk to me. I know what it's like," I said, trying to get her to talk to me. I tried my best to not get mad at her. Yelling wasn't going to help anypony now.

"Luna, please. I'm fine. I just want to be alone right now," she snapped slightly at me.

"I just want to help you," I said.

"I don't need help, okay?"

"You sure about that?!" I snapped back at her.

"Please leave me alone," she begged.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." I started to head to the door. I didn't want to fight with her. She seemed mad enough, and I knew I wasn't going to get anything out of her tonight. The best option was to just give Cadance her space and hope that she was better in the morning. 

She sighed a little. "I know..."

"Goodnight," was all I said before trotting out and heading back to my guest chambers. 

This was going to be a long week.