//------------------------------// // Chapter 3: Negligence // Story: Failing Firmaments // by MidKnight Erratum //------------------------------// Negligence Twilight awoke, unrested from her sleep. Tired as the day was long, and despite being asleep for well past morning. Twilight rubbed her eyes with her hooves, and moaned a dismal complaint into the lifeless air around her. Glancing negligently at her disheveled mane in the mirror, before venturing downstairs in search of some leftover pancakes to eat. Spike normally prepared a large morning breakfast, far greater than a dragon of his size could ever hope to eat alone. However, as she neared the library’s lobby, she noticed the disturbed silence was instead filled with the sounds of scrambling feet, and unwelcome chatter. She quickened her pace to the bottom of the stairs, to find Spike hurriedly looking through books. While a familiar fashionable unicorn, she’d met a few days prior, levitated several books in the air. Clearly looking for something in particular. “I could’ve sworn this old library had something on Equinaissance era fashion…” The white unicorn with a well kept purple mane, mumbled. Loudly talking to herself in the empty hollow hush of the library. She turned, and caught sight of Twilight as she was slipping down the stairs, headed towards the kitchen. “Oh, oh my… Dear heavens...” The pale unicorn gasped in shock. Raising a hoof to her lips in dismay. “What?” Twilight asked with a sideways glance, trying to sounds as annoyed and irritated as she felt. “Only a few days spent in Ponyville, and you’re already succumbing to laziness, Darling?” Rarity inspected critically, disapproving of Twilight’s unkempt mane. “I know you’re not in Canterlot anymore, but you should at least strive to stay vigilant in being presentable...” Rarity blathered on and on, as Twilight rolled her eyes. She frankly didn’t want a lesson from the uptight fashionista about the proper ways of mane therapy. However, Rarity had other plans on sharing her own two cents on the matter. Continuing to chatter on, following after Twilight as she continued towards the kitchen. “Why you even have glitter in your mane.” Rarity almost screamed in horror. “Definitely Pinkie Pie’s doing no doubt,” She mumbled her complaints, as she inspected the disastrous display before her. Taking it upon herself to liberate Twilight’s mane of the glimmering specks using her azure magic. “I would say something about your somewhat lackadaisical get up, but your mane is just horrid, Darling!” Rarity seemed fit to burst, as her compulsive neatness only seemed to uncover more and more of the devilish debris. Twilight could feel her resilience fading. Her small amount of tolerance disintegrating as Rarity continued to bother her. She considered levitating a book to slap the marshmallow unicorn across the face, but refrained from such a childish thing. However, it did give her a slight smile of satisfaction to ponder over as she entered the kitchen. Twilight found no leftover pancakes, the kitchen was mostly untouched, as if Spike had become distracted before ever getting to make his usually pancakes. Twilight breathed out heavily in irritation, the ivory unicorn continued her soliloquy, as Twilight set about fixing herself breakfast. “... And by no means should you ever use a broken comb t-” “How fascinating!” Twilight cut Rarity short, her temper boiling on high, as she set a kettle for tea. “Perhaps, if I’d known I wasn’t going to be alone today, I would have taken the few minutes to brush my mane!” Twilight burst with bristling irritation. “But as you can clearly see,” Twilight gestured about the tiled room. “I haven’t even been up long enough to eat breakfast!” Rarity looked taken aback by the sudden outburst, raising a hoof once more to her mouth in utter shock. As Twilight seethed. “I-I-I… I apologize for jumping to conclusions, but I seem to have overstayed my welcome.” Rarity stammered, looking about nervously, as if just being enlightened to the concept of time. She began to back out of the room, “Pardon the intrusion, but I guess I’ll have to -ahem- come back later for that book on Equinaissance fashion…” Rarity smiled politely, before turning abruptly, and galloped out of the library. The door slammed, echoing in the now peaceful silence. “Good riddance.” Twilight muttered under her breath. Letting a sigh of relief wash over her as it bounced off the tile floors to meet her own ears. “What was that about?” Spike asked walking in holding a copy of ‘A Classical Colt’ in his claws. “She just remembered she left the oven on, or something.” Twilight smiled bitterly. “What do you have there anyway, ‘A Classical Colt?’” Twilight inquired quizzically. “Oh this? I know it’s not quite a book on old pony fashion, but it had some illustrations that I thought might have helped spark Rarity’s inspiration.” He said, a distant glazed look crossing his eyes, as he said her name. Twilight rolled her eyes in disgust, it was obvious Spike had fallen in love at first sight. She didn’t need to snoop through his journal for that secret. It was written on his face. It was obvious from the stupor she caused the young purple dragon, every time she was mentioned. To the way he spoke of the high class unicorn, that he evidently had feelings for Rarity. The mere thought made Twilight want to puke and gag, and be ever so dramatic. But she kept it in the back of her mind, locked neatly inside the box of emotions she’d started suppressing. Spike looked as if he had more to say, but apparently decided better. Retreating back to the shelves, to sort the mornings rambunctious chaos. Twilight waited, tapping a hoof to the ticking of the clock. Waiting for the water to boil, as her temper simmered. Twilight decided to look through the fridge as she waited for the kettle. When the search came up empty, she chanced a glance inside the now empty cupcake box she’d left on the table. However, it became apparent from the lack of food, that Twilight would have to run some errands today. Twilight knew she could probably find some unused haycake mix in the cupboard, but she didn’t feel like going through the trouble of cooking measly haycakes.  With a heavy sigh of reluctance, Twilight turned back to the steaming kettle. “I wasn’t hungry anyway.” She murmured to herself, a mantra to help sedate the hunger. To numb the agitation of depriving herself sustenance. It worked well enough, but Twilight didn’t care. Twilight opened the cupboard, and fetched the box of teabags from the top shelf. It felt noticeably lighter, the reason of which becoming transparent, as she dumped the contents onto the counter. The small sprinkling particles of collected dust and seeds the only pathetic reward to Twilight’s unbelief. Apparently she hadn’t brought as much food to Ponyville as she thought. Granted she’d thought at the time of packing that she wouldn’t be here for more than a couple of days. But now her shortsightedness had come back to bite her in the flank. The sinking feeling in her stomach was sickeningly bitter to Twilight, as she wanted nothing more than to ignore a reason to venture back into the streets of Ponyville. The town was nice, and the ponies friendly as tightly knit neighbors could be. Yet alienating to an outsider like herself. She didn’t want to face it, but she knew she couldn’t nobble with the truth. She didn’t belong here. Twilight sought a ploy that would allow her to avoid responsibility, but she knew better than to offload the task to Spike. He liked to avoid vegetables like the plague, thus Twilight was forced to fulfill the need for shopping, if she wanted any form of organized balance to the selection of healthy produce. It didn’t make her any less pleased at the prospect of facing the outside world. “Spike!” Twilight called into the library, waiting for the small dragon to answer. “What?” “I’m gonna need a list of food, and anything else we need.” She said, as she strolled from the kitchen. She headed toward her bedroom, if nothing else she was going to do the bare minimum to keep up an organized appearance. Spike fetched a roll of parchment and began scribbling things into a neat order, as she vanished into the stairway. Twilight didn’t feel like doing a whole lot, but she at least combed through her mane once. Before patting the wrinkles the best she could from her jacket. She decided to leave the scarf behind today, since the sun was still shining in from the window. Giving it’s ghastly glow of warmth to the library’s chilled shadows. She reminded herself on how hot it had been yesterday, and found comfort in wearing only the jacket against the numbness she had started to enjoy. Twilight stared at the reflection in the mirror, taking in the facade of straight hair, and vibrant purple hued fur. A perfect image to hide the dereliction lying behind the smiling mask she now plastered across her face. All would be fine. All WAS fine. She had nothing to fear, she could play the part of being happy. If only for the little bit that she required, to appear unbroken among the oblivious ponies around her. She lied to herself, as she prayed that nopony would look farther than her blissful deception. A fake smile, to reassure others that she was fine. She was not fine. Twilight turned from the mirror, and noticed Spike standing silently in the doorway. They exchanged a long silence between their gaze, before he cleared his throat. “I made a list of everything we need, so you ready to go now? Or…” “Thank you very much Spike.” Twilight smiled, grasping the list in her magic. “But I’ll just be out for a few minutes, and back before you can say-” Spike didn’t let go of the paper. “Spike?” Twilight protested, “What are you?” “I’m coming too, You’re gonna want some help carrying all of the groceries.” He was clearly lying, and Twilight wanted to fight his bluff. She offered what she hoped was a sincere smile, but Spike’s claw merely tightened around the list. “I’m coming with you, and that’s final.” He said, and turned to walk back down the stairs in triumph. Twilight rolled her eyes, allowing herself a slight smirk. Letting her magic fade from the parchment, before following Spike submissively down the stairs. Arguing was just going to be exhausting, and she told herself she would appreciate his help. Even though she knew, she didn’t need it. The market was about as busy as Twilight would've expected for a small town on a Wednesday afternoon. Not too busy, yet not completely abandoned, to her delight. Spike followed close behind her, listing off a few things, as Twilight quickly scanned the rows of stands for what was on the list. Mentally mapping a route that led her body through the marketplace. Following the most 'efficient' route she could conceive, as she'd stop at a stand only long enough to offer a polite smile. A few sparse words of courtesy, before buying the few things she needed. Moving quickly along to the next stand as she had marked out in her mind. Or was it actually the most efficient route? Was her mind just a useless broken machine that no longer functioned properly? Her doubts tossed her mind about with uncertainty. No, just because she'd failed, didn't mean her mind's other capabilities were useless. At least, that's what her mind was debating, as Twilight stumbled into somepony else with enough force to knock them to the ground. With a small cry of dismay escaping the pony's lips, as Twilight snapped out of autopilot. Her gaze lowering to find a pale yellow pegasus cowering inside her long pink mane. A trio of butterflies adorned her shivering flank, as Twilight recognized the pegasi. "I'm sorry..." Fluttershy whimpered slightly. Withdrawing further into herself, as Twilight's brain caught up to reality. "No, no, I'm the one who should be sorry," Twilight glanced around nervously, offering a hoof to help the poor pegasus stand. "I wasn't watching were I was going, and..." Twilight started to apologize, but Fluttershy had noticed Spike. Again. "Ooh oh, you're the unicorn with the baby dragon." Fluttershy spoke with excitement as she stood once more. Her wings fidgeting with ecstatic anticipation. "I thought you might have already left after the 'Summer Sun Celebration,'" Her voice continued softly, "But I'm glad I get to talk to you again." Twilight rolled her eyes. It seemed this was going to take a while. She took a deep breath, calmed her nerves, before an idea struck her. "Hey Spike, how about I finish our shopping while you talk with Fluttershy. We only have a few things left, and-" "Twilight..." He began to protest. His arms already full of things to carry. "I d-don't want to get in your way, if you have things to do." Fluttershy visibly melted, as her gaze fell to the ground. Her hoof began to dig timidly at the dirt, as Twilight continued. "Oh, no, you wouldn't be getting in the way. I'll be done before you even know it." "Twilight. I came to help you carry things back, so that's what I'll do." Spike said firmly, and Twilight sighed in annoyance. As Spike turned to Fluttershy. "I'm sorry, maybe we can catch up later, but right now I'm helping Twilight carry..." He fumbled a few apples, that Twilight caught in her telekinesis. "Thanks Spike, but maybe you and Fluttershy could go sit over there." Twilight said, gesturing to a table next to a cafe. "You've already been a big help carrying everything for so long you must be getting tired. A break would do some good before we walk back to the library." Twilight smiled, just hoping they'd take the bait and leave her alone for a few minutes. She could see the eagerness in Fluttershy's quiet gaze, at the suggestion. Spike visibly contemplated the offer, before asking one last time. "Are you sure, Twilight?" "I'm sure. We only need some pancake mix, and carrots. I'll be with you shortly." She promised, lightly tugging at the paper list held securely in the dragon's claw. She felt his grip loosen ever so slightly, and she freely seized the parchment. "Oh, I need a bundle of carrots too." Fluttershy chimed in, before shying away from confrontation once again. Her eyes glancing all about, nervous and unfocused as the pegasi they belonged to. "I'm sure Twilight wouldn't mind using your bits to buy a bundle of carrots for you." Spike offered generously, and Twilight glared at him for a few seconds. Before smiling reassuringly at Fluttershy as she met her gaze. "I-I wouldn't want to be a burden to anypony." Fluttershy hesitated. "Don't worry, I might as well save you the walking as well." Twilight's sarcasm evaporated into a sigh, as the pegasus dug through her saddlebag for the few bits. Once the bits were bestowed, Twilight gave the two one last reassuring smile, before waltzing off towards the last few stands. Oh look at you, all miss goody-too-shoes, an errand pony because she can't do anything else right. Twilight's inner monologue laughed, mocking her with every step. Twilight's smile slowly dissolving to gritted teeth, as she fought back the bitterness in her mind. She could almost swear she heard laughter echoing around her, or perhaps it was just in her mind. Yet she began to sweat, did anypony know? Were they silently judging her? Was she walking normal? Oh don't worry, walking normal should be the least of YOUR concerns. The nagging voice chided. And the daylight seemed to dim in around her. Darkening the vibrantly cheerful world outside Twilight's mind. The laughter growing in its agonizing cacophony as Twilight could feel ponies beginning to stop and stare. Her breaths now coming in rapid, hysteria. As she felt her body twitch under the surmounting pressure of silent judgement. The confining conformity to fit in constricting around her like a rope. The air felt thick as water, threatening to drown her if she couldn't get enough. All the while the laughter mocked her, as it rang out. Twilight's hooves stumbled, as her legs began to shake. Nothing was alright. Everything was wrong. Twilight was NOT fine. She was sure anypony could see it now. From her jittery movements, robotic and unnatural, to the shadows wrapping themselves around her sanity. As she tried to approach the carrot stand. Twilight's mind was racing, pleading for an escape, screaming. The voices wouldn't stop, the doubts piling heavily upon her, as she struggled to compose herself. Trying desperately to keep herself together, trying unsuccessfully to not shatter and crumble in front of the ponies staring through her. They were surely all staring, laughing at her and how weak she was. Taunting her for all her failures. She didn't know how they knew, but they surely did. Perhaps it was beyond logical reasoning to assume such, but Twilight had abandoned logic the moment she had failed to see her negligence. The air was deeply polluted at this point, the laughter deafening, as she felt herself collapsing under the suffocation. She put her forehooves over her ears to drown them out, but she couldn't block out her inner torment. Shamefully, tears began to prick her eyes, and she closed them tightly.