Twilight's Pirate School

by Lets Do This


Burn Your Boats... We'll Make More

The waters of the Celestial Sea roared and crashed around the base of Speartooth Rock, on the grainy basalt shores of the Dragonlands.

Out of the sky overhead, a small orange dragoness with overlarge yellow horns and a fuschia crest flapped carefully down through the cross-breeze. Picking her moment, Smolder swept down and landed neatly on a narrow ledge of stone near the Rock's peak.

Glancing around to be sure she wasn't being watched, she quickly wormed her way into a narrow crevice. At its far end she kept her horns lowered and smoothly stepped right a pace, then crawled forward around a narrow turn.

And then she stood up, in the midst of a small hidden cavern she'd come across some time ago. It was lit by glowing gemstones embedded in the dark gray basalt above, and by the simmering orange gleam of a lava upwelling on the far side.

Smolder had never told any other dragon about the cavern, and as far as she knew no other dragon knew it was there. Which was just fine for her. That made it a perfect place to hide her toy box.

Sighing unhappily, she crossed the cavern to an old wooden crate on the far side, and folded back the old sea-cloth wrapped around its contents.

Within there was a small collection of various toys: a large wooden rowboat, some delicately-formed animals carved from various hues of crystal, a small tea-set with teapot, cups and saucers, and a gilt serving bowl with a small silver spoon. There was even a doll, crocheted from fine wool and wearing a small pirate outfit. It had a beak and lime-colored crest like a bird, but arms instead of wings.

Smolder didn't know what kind of creature the doll was, and had never dared ask another dragon. And it was her favorite, of all the cast-off items she'd come across in shipwrecks and the occasional lost shipping crate washed up on the shores of the Dragonlands.

She'd found the doll while rummaging in an old seachest, half-buried in the sand after a hurricane had passed by. And even though it embarrassed her immensely to recall it, she simply couldn't leave it there, to be found by other dragons and kicked around or torn apart for fun. It spoke to her, in a way that she wasn't sure she liked... it certainly wasn't very dragon-like. The toy needed a home, needed to be looked after. It was... she mentally gagged... cute. And she'd never been able to resist cute stuff.

Well, she thought. All that changes today. She put her claws on her hips, staring at the toys. I'm going to be Dragon Lord Ember's student now, learn to be a proper dragon. So it's time to get rid of this old junk.

It would have to be done properly, she knew... respectfully, given how much these things had been a comfort to her whenever she'd needed them. That was the only way she'd ever finally be shut of them.

She started with the boat, picking it up and holding it in one claw. Then one by one she loaded the crystal animals into it. She put the tea things in the bow, and the serving bowl in the stern, arranging things so it was balanced properly. And then, finally, she picked up the pirate doll. She looked at it one last time, then laid it on top of the animals, with its tiny arms crossed.

And then she turned and walked to the lava pool. Without hesitation, she set the boat down into it, taking care so that it wouldn't capsize prematurely.

The wood immediately caught fire, flames licking up over the boat's contents. Gradually the boat and its cargo sank into the molten rock, with everything charring, burning, and melting together into ash and discolored impurities, which smeared out over the surface and then sank away into the orange glow.

Smolder watched, silently, until the very last trace was gone. Then she nodded. That would do. Time to put childish stuff behind her, and go be a tough, grown-up, take-no-prisoners dragon, just like Ember.

Enough with the cute stuff, she thought.

She kicked over the empty crate, then turned and crawled back out through the crevice.

Standing up on the ledge, she looked out at the looming ash and smoke clouds hanging over the glowing volcanic peaks and spires of the Dragonlands. She smiled at the sight. That was home, where any dragon worth her scales should be able to find her place. All she had to do was take it.

And then she turned to look out across the Celestial Sea. There was nothing on that side but blue sky and some puffy clouds overhead. Except...

She blinked and stared, momentarily at a loss for what to think.

A massive lavender airship, a large star on its prow, was steadily descending from the clouds to the west. As she watched in astonishment, it swept by overhead, clearly angling towards the landing zone a short way up the coast.

Smolder crossed her arms and scowled after it. She huffed an annoyed wisp of smoke from her nostrils.

"Okay, so what's the deal here?" she asked. "Burn up the cute little toy boat to get rid of it, and whammo, here's a great big toy boat for ya, to replace it?" She shook her head crossly. "Someone just isn't getting the message here, and I don't think it's me."

Nevertheless, she leapt into the air, and flew off after the airship.

By the time she'd caught up, the ship had already come to a halt over the landing zone, and had lowered a winch platform to the rocky ground below. From the platform stepped a lavender pony and a pint-sized dragon. They were accompanied by a larger maroon pony wearing battle armor, with a squat hedgehog and a couple scarlet-furred soldiers marching along behind her.

Standing facing them all was blue-scaled Dragon Lord Ember herself, the Bloodstone Scepter held tight in her claw. She was surrounded by a small flight of dragons, both young and old, who looked on with a mixture of mild curiosity and sneering disdain.

Smolder came in for a landing, then quickly moved to stand close to the Dragon Lord as the pony and dragon stepped forward.

The pony nodded respectfully. "Dragon Lord Ember."

Ember nodded in return. "Princess Twilight... and Spike. It's... ah, nice to see you again? Is that how you say it?" Then she smirked. "What's with the colorful boat? When the patrol reported we were being attacked by a ship made out of candy, I had a feeling you might be behind it." She eyed Twilight. "Is this another weird pony friendship thing?"

"Actually, it is," Twilight replied unabashedly. She quickly explained the School and its purpose, to the increasing amusement of the assembled dragons. Ember herself remained sternly silent, patiently hearing Twilight out. But not all of the dragons were so patient.

"Well that's dumb!" called a loud, sneering voice. It was Garble. The red dragon waved a claw in disbelief. "What kind of loser dragon would ever go to a pony school? To learn about friendship?" He laughed raucously, and so did the other young dragons with him.

Ember briefly glanced his way, but still said nothing. She looked significantly at Twilight, who nodded. "It would be a dragon who likes a challenge," Twilight answered him. "Who's willing to learn about other lands, and other cultures. One who isn't afraid to learn some things about himself that he'd never learn anywhere else!"

Garble made a face. "You got nothing dragons want to learn about! So why don't you hop back on that candy boat and buzz off, cutesy little pony!"

"Hey!" Spike shouted. "That's no way to talk to the Princess of Friendship!"

"Yeah? Says who?" Garble fired back. "I ain't talkin' to you, shrimp! Not since you ran off with my surfboard! I only talk to real dragons! Not ponies with scales! And certainly not some sissy little Princess pony!"

Twilight quickly put out a hoof to forestall Spike's angry retort. She was about to reply, and then...

... she heard a light cough behind her. "Princess? If I may?"

Twilight considered it for a moment, and then nodded. "All right, Tempest."

And Tempest stalked forward. She came to a halt facing Garble, head lowered, eyes narrowed. "Maybe," she said softly and languidly, "you'd prefer a chat with a real pony?"

Garble glanced around at his friends with a broad grin, and then looked back at Tempest.

"Maybe you know where I could find one!"

Tempest smiled at him.

Then her horn crackled and blazed. An electric blast caught Garble's left wing, stunning it. Shocked, he opened his mouth to let loose a burst of flame. But Tempest had already launched herself into the air. Her right forehoof smacked down on his upper jaw, slamming his mouth shut and causing him to make a horrified face as the trapped belch of flame made his cheeks bulge.

Tempest landed heavily on his back, smashing him down onto the rocky ground. And then she kept right on going, grabbing the tip of his tail in her teeth as she passed it. She whirled about, planted her hooves firmly, and yanked.

Garble was hauled bodily backward, then flipped over and slammed down hard onto his back. And then Tempest leapt after him, landing beside him with an armored shoe jammed down tight against his throat, preventing him from either getting up or using his flame breath again.

She glared down at him. Her horn crackled threateningly.

"Well..." she said mildly. "If I should come across any, I'll make sure they know where you live."

"Ohhh, nice burn, boss!" the hedgehog cheered. He looked around proudly. "Heh, heh, burn, right?"

The assembled dragons stared at Tempest in astonishment. And then as a group, they began cheering loudly and raucously. "Yeah!... Sweet!... Nice one!... That's how it's done!... Now there's a pony that fights like a dragon!"

Smolder just stared, though she felt like joining in and cheering too. She'd never seen a dragon get taken down by a non-dragon like that... and by a pony? Clearly there were angles to these creatures she'd never considered.

And Garble? Smolder mentally shrugged. The big loudmouthed doofus totally had it coming.

Tempest finally lifted her forehoof, allowing Garble to stand. But there was a warning look in her eye: I can do that again, anytime I want! Garble appeared to get the message. He tried unsuccessfully to look unconcerned about it as he slunk away in shame to rejoin his friends.

Then Tempest turned to face Ember, bowing her head respectfully. "Sorry about that, Dragon Lord. But it's Twilight who's the Friendship Princess around here. I'm just her bodyguard." She gave a thin smile. "Which means I don't have to be friends with anyone!"

Ember eyed her thoughtfully. Then she smiled back. "I like this one already. I think I understand her better than I understand you, Princess Twilight." Then she raised her voice. "Now listen up, all of you! The ponies of Equestria are our allies. And they consider friendship important. So we're all going to learn about friendship... even if I have to beat it into your thick skulls myself!"

She glanced at Twilight. "Metaphorically speaking, of course."

"Thanks, Ember," Twilight said. "So... would you consider enrolling a dragon as a student in the School?"

"More than that," Ember replied. "I have one in mind already." She swept out a claw...

... and grabbed Smolder's arm.

"What?" Smolder's eyes went wide. "Wait a second! I thought I was going to be your student!"

"You are!" Ember snapped. "And here's your first lesson: you're going to attend Princess Twilight's school as representative of the Dragonlands, and learn all you can about friendship. And then you're going to come back here, and show us all how it's done!"

"Seriously? You're sending me away to some pony school?" Smolder protested. "Dragons are better than this! Why do I have to go?"

Ember glared at her, threateningly. "Because I'm your Dragon Lord! And I say you have to!"

Smolder stared in disbelief, her dreams of being the Dragon Lord's personal protegé crumbling to dust. For a brief moment, she angrily considered rejecting the idea, refusing to go. But... no true dragon ever defied the word of the Dragon Lord.

At least, no dragon who liked living amongst other dragons... ever again.

Crossing her arms, Smolder snorted crossly. "Fine. I'll go."

"You're learning already."

"I don't promise to like it!" Smolder spat testily.

Ember nodded curtly. "Spoken like a true dragon." Then she looked to Twilight. "I trust this flying School thing of yours isn't flammable, Princess?"

"Spike's helped test it already."

"Then I wish you the best of luck. And I'll look forward to hearing about Smolder's progress."

Twilight smiled. "I'm sure she'll fit right in!"

Smolder frowned back. We'll just see about that, her expression said.