//------------------------------// // Chapter 10: Wally B. // Story: Anon II: The Second Part // by 23 KM To Nerdiness //------------------------------// "Augh, God I'm dying." "Anon, you're not dying." Starlight sighs. "This is it for me, Star." "Well, if you were 'dying', any regrets?" "Only one." "Oh, really?" "Yeah, and it's been with me ever since I came to Equestria: why, oh, why didn't I take the BLUE pill?" "Anon, you're lucky I like your goofiness." "Ahyuck, that's me." "Alright, the little one's been fed and I...made some extras if you want it." Both of you see Wallflower carrying Spirit on her back and towing a wagon of three colorful jars in her mouth. You notice Spirit has small, red splotches on his face, which the little colt plays around with on his hooves. "What is that stuff?" Starlight asks in bewilderment. "Just a few jars of jam....t-that is, if you want-" The ravenous unicorn greedily poofs a jar in her hooves and shoves her face in it without a second thought, slurping away at the treat. "Yeaaaah, we'll take 'em." you sheepishly say. "Where'd you get this much?" "From Mr. Jammers." You flinch as the towering vine slinks beside you. "And he has something he has to say, don't you?" The large plant falls limp at your feet. Not knowing what to DO, you lift one of his leaves and shake it. "Um.....it's okay, I....forgive you...?" you utter in confusion. "Mr. Jammers?" "He's a 'Vinea Baca': the berry vine." On the spot, the overgrown root grows an abnormally plump blueberry and plops it in your palm. Your taste buds are savagely beaten into submission as you take a huge bite outta the tangy fruit. "I mostly make special jams from the fruit he produces, hence the name: 'Mr. Jammers'." "Cool. You really know your plants." "Gotta give it to him," Starlight mutters, mouth full. "He sure can make some quality jam. Mmm...." "T-Thank you. Do you maybe w-wanna come inside, or something? You two look like you've been through alot." You look behind you and see a long rip in the back of your shirt. "Oh, you have NO idea." Later that evening... The whole atmosphere of Wallflower's humble little home has constantly made you feel like you've stumbled upon Tree Hugger's wet dream. Every single corner of the place was filled head to hoof with flowers, plants, bushes and all sorts of vines that make up most of her comfy furniture. "So, what brings you all this far...here?" "We have no ide- UUUURRRP!!!" your pal belches. "Ooh, excuse me." "We.....took an unexpected trip, to say the least, and we're trying to find a way back." "That's ONE way of putting it- BURP!" "Since then, we've had to deal with this little monster, isn't that right?" "Taga bah!" Spirit babbles. "Where do you live?" "We live in- URRRP! Ponyville." [Jesus, how much is left IN there?! That's her THIRD jar!] The shy mare's eyes widen. "P-Ponyville?" she stammers in a look of disbelief which immediately goes back to calm and collective. "Well, I hate to say that you three are going in the wrong direction." Starlight stops her rabid inhaling and turns to you with a grape jam-covered look of annoyance. "So my plan didn't go COMPLETELY as planned......don't judge me Glimmy, eat your jam!" "Gladly- OM NOM NOM NOM!" "Ooga eega!" "Hm, what's that?" "Ooga eega!" "I'm SURE it's good, Spirit. But you're not gonna see me going crazy over-" The little colt slings a dollop of jam onto your lips. "Mmm, is this cherry?" "Haga!" he responds, sucking his red, sticky hooves once more. "Nice." "Ugh, Mr. Hex, what are you doing in the sunlight?" Wallflower says sternly, placing a potted honeysuckle plant into the sun's ray. "Do you WANT to end up like Mr. Wilton?" "You.....talk to your plants?" "These aren't just 'PLANTS' here, they're my friends. This is Mr. Hex, he's a honeysuckle. Over there's Mrs. Belle, she's a bellflower..." [She's caraaaaaazaaaay.....] "And you've already met Mr. Jammers." Your back POPS as you turn to the thick vine tickling a giggling Spirit. "I guess we should thank him for leading us to somepony who knows these woods like the back of her hoof." Starlight states. " "What can I say, nature's my passion." "With your knowledge, we'll be home in no time." "W-Wait, you want M-ME to guide you?! I-I don't know if that's such a good idea, I don't do so well in crowd- I-I mean it's DANGEROUS OUT THERE!" "We've dealt with MUCH worse." the unicorn states. "Yeah, trust us." you wince looking at the battle scars on your back. "I-I can't, I.......have to water my plants, y-yeah." Before she gives you two the chance to speak, she trots over to the far corners of the room with a watering can, awkwardly feeding her 'friends'. "Well, THERE goes our way out." Star huffs. "Don't worry, I got this." "There isn't a moment where you say 'Don't worry' and it DOESN'T follow with something bad happening." she whispers matter of factly. "And HOW are you gonna convince her?" "Maybe a wink, a seductive nod...or maybe a glimpse of these taut, athletic buns. She'll have no CHOICE but to help us. Easy pray, I say." "Heh, good luck with that." You strut towards the reclusive mare and strike a 'I think I just sharted' pose, flaunting ALL of your.........assets. "Hey, think you could help a guy ou- OUCH!" "Got a splinter in your leg." Wallflower muffles, spitting out the little wooden prick and continues 'watering' her flowers. You waddle back to the unicorn, who's on the verge of laughing her flank off. "Don't say a word." you hiss. "Your 'BUNS' could use a tune-up." she snickers. "Hey, you still have SOME amount of dignity left. And at least you've got your health." "Wow, that's low." "What is?" "The 'health' crack." "All I meant was-" "I know what you meant, that was PITY talking. You don't tell somebody that they 'still have their health' unless what you mean is that's ALL they've got." "Ugh, forget I said anything, Anon." "No I'm not gonna forget what you said. You told me I had good health and I'm not gonna take that." "Anon, you're a goof." "Yeah, well it's too late to flatter me. Besides, I have a backup plan." You stand back up, stretch out every joint in your body in preparation and lunge headfirst in front of the earth pony's hooves, hands clamped together and desperation in your eyes. "Please, oh PLEASE, can you help us?!" "I-I don't think it's safe..." "Aw, come on, Wally! L-Listen, I have NEVER begged this much for ANYTHING in my life!" Starlight loudly clears her throat. "Shush, you!" "I'm sorry, I-I just can't..." Nervous, Wally B. puts her can away, crawls in a cozy looking hammock made of vines and turns away from you all. You creep over to her side and face her. "Come on, Wally. Do it for Spirit." you whine, holding the puppy eyed colt up to the timid mare. To up the pity meter, you open your eyes as wide as possible, looking like a drug-addicted Totoro. "I......I don't......I can't.......UGH, fine, I'll help! Just stop looking at me like that, I don't like prolonged eye contact!" [Check. And. Mate.] You cockily look at your messy pal, metaphorically wiping the dust off your shoulders. She playfully rolls her eyes in response. "I'll just pack a few things and we'll be on our way in the morning." Wally sighs. "But I'm telling you, sometimes, the wilderness never play around." "Oh please, we can take on a pack of timberwolves with both arms tied behind our ba-" Suddenly, a bolt of lightning strikes off into the dark and windy night. "Hm, odd. There wasn't a single cloud in the sky." Star adds. [Where'd THAT come from?! It's not even RAINING!]