I did my best to limit my reading after the first day. If I wasn’t careful, I’d finish the library in a month. After a few more days though, I realized that books only provided so much. I found myself looking out the window more often. The town was busy as usual. Ponies going about their business and enjoying their lives. A sigh escaped me as I stared outside this particular morning.
“I can’t believe it’s finally happening!”
I turned to see Twilight dancing around the room. What had her so excited? I backed away from the window and began looking through the Fiction section.
“What’s got you worked up Princess?”
“I’ve been trying to plan a day with Cadence for ages! And we finally found a day that works for both our schedules!”
I picked up one of the novels, skimming the description on the back
“Congrats I guess?”
“I get to see her this weekend!”
I froze for a moment.
“Say that again.”
“Cadence is coming this weekend!!”
I rolled my eyes.
“Once more, if you don’t mind.”
“Cadance is coming...this...weekend... Oh no!”
There we go. I turned to the lavender alicorn; her excitement now visibly gone.
“So...how’s her attitude towards changelings?”
“I can’t believe this... I’m going to have to...cancel!”
I found my eyes drawn to the window again.
“You know, she could come if I wasn’t here.”
Twilight followed my gaze to the window.
“I don’t know Shade. I’m not sure if Ponyville is ready to have a changeling wandering around.”
“So I should just wait here until Cadence shows up?”
“No! I mean... I don’t know.”
“Don’t give up yet. There’s got to be a way to let me go out, right?”
“But you really shouldn’t use your magic. If you accidentally revert to your original form in front of other ponies, they might think there’s another invasion.”
“Fair point.”
I sat down, thinking over the options at my disposal. How could I escape the library without causing a panic?
The idea that popped into my head was too perfect. I tried to think of other options, but I kept coming back to the same conclusion.
“I think I know a way.”
Twilight’s ears perked up.
“What is it?”
“Something stupid. And reckless. And definitely painful.”
Now she was looking nervous. I shook my head.
“Not to you. Where’s a mirror?”
Twilight levitated one from the bedroom and I stood in front of it.
“There’s a branch of changeling magic that’s never used due to its...permanence.”
“Permanence? That doesn’t sound very changeling.”
“Precisely. But it’s still within our abilities. It’s not the ideal solution, but it may be the only option in this case. And I’ve seen it done before. I’m old enough to remember changelings who actually tried it.”
“How old are you exactly? I’ve been wondering that. Are you around my age?”
I chuckled.
“Older. Not nearly as old as Chrysalis though.”
“Is she really that old?”
“From what I’ve heard, she took over the changeling hive when she was around your age. That was...a little over a century ago.”
“Seriously?!”
“Seriously.”
“I didn’t know changelings could live so long!”
“We have longer lifespans compared to yours, but we’re still mortal.”
“So how old are you?”
“Don’t you want to know what I’m about to do?”
That distracted her. She sat down next to me, looking at our reflections. I turned my head side to side, examining the shape.
“Our transformation magic allows us to take on the appearance of any creature we come across. But it’s only temporary. We eventually have to revert back to our true form. The type of transformation magic I’m about to use however, alters the actual appearance of the true form.”
“So you’re altering your actual body? Is that safe?”
“Not especially. But I have to try. If I can pull it off, I could walk around town without anypony being suspicious.”
The jawline. I’d start there. I focused my energy and concentration on that particular area. I began to tremble with the effort, but felt the magic begin to take effect.
And then the pain started...
I grit my teeth, fighting through the feeling of my bone structure fluctuating. Twilight looked concerned as I grimaced.
“Shade? Maybe you should-“
I held up a hoof to silence her. It was almost there. I felt the magic ebb away as my jaw settled into place. I took a big gulp of air and checked my handiwork in the mirror. My jaw had squared off, making my head a more natural shape. Natural by pony standards at least.
“That was the hard part. Bone structure is not something you mess with lightly.”
Twilight stared in awe at what I had done.
“I’ve never seen anything like it. You actually changed the shape of your bone structure!”
“And we’re just getting started Princess.”
I focused again, the magic flowing more freely this time, and the holes in my legs began to fill in. I felt skin and tissue beginning to form. That forced a few painful grunts out of me.
As my legs filled in, I realized that I should have the proper hooves to match my look. My hooves slowly reshaped and began to look more pony-like. With that alteration though, my knees gave out. I fell to the floor with a groan. Twilight pulled me up as best as she could.
“Maybe you should stop for now.”
“I’m almost there.”
“You’re going to hurt yourself.”
“I’m already hurt in more ways than one Twilight. Let me do this.”
She stepped away and I stood in front of the mirror alone. I changed my ears next. That tissue was fairly pliable, so it caused me a small amount of pain comparatively. I then forced my head to begin growing a mane. Now that was more painful than I thought it would be.
The horn came next. I had never really liked the look of it to begin with, so I willed it to shorten until it was a short stump hidden in my mane. It was painful, but it could have been worse. I almost looked like a pony now! I turned to Twilight with a smile.
“What do you think?”
“You look great! But...”
“What?”
“Well...it’s your eyes.”
Damn. I knew I’d forgotten something. I looked in the mirror again, realizing that my eyes gave it away. I could have a pony body and still not be a pony.
“I can try to fix them.”
“Are you sure?”
“Not really. I could have easily damaged any of the areas I tampered with. And with how sensitive eyes are, I could very well make myself go blind.”
“Then don’t do it! That’s completely uncalled for.”
I sighed.
“I know. But...I have to try.”
“Why?”
I looked at her, feeling the tears welling up in my eyes.
“Look at me Twilight. Do you see what I’ve done? All of this is so I can walk around and be normal.”
“You don’t have to be normal Shade. You’re unique.”
I didn’t mean to yell, but it came out anyway.
“I just want to know what it’s like!”
She flinched as I felt a tear roll down my cheek.
“You wouldn’t understand.”
“Help me to understand then.”
I wiped the tear away and took a deep breath.
“I used to walk among ponies during my missions. I’d see them laughing, sharing stories, doing whatever they pleased. I never knew anything like that in the hive.”
Twilight sat in silence as I began to cry. Even with the tears streaming down m face, I continued to talk.
“Every mission made me realize how different our species were. Ponies seemed so happy in comparison. I wanted to bring some of that into the horde. But everyone acted like I was insane when I tried to be nice to them. Chrysalis told me how stupid it was to try being friendly. And how I’m a creature of darkness. I was never meant to exist in this world! Your world!”
My legs began to tremble. I forced myself to sit before I fell over.
“When I got separated, I had the crazy idea that I might be able to start over. But that damn forest was too big. I had to nearly die to make it this far. And now...I’ll do whatever it takes to fight for my chance to be a part of this world.”
I closed my eyes, concentrating on my magic one last time. My body began to tremble.
“Shade. Don’t.”
I felt a strain on my eyes. It grew in intensity until I wanted to pluck them out. Anything to make it stop. But it was too late. I had to go through with it. I began to grunt in pain again, but this time each grunt got louder. Soon I was screaming.
And then the pain stopped.
I didn’t dare open my eyes. I was terrified that I’d discover a world of darkness. Had I made myself blind?
“Open your eyes Shade. Let me see.”
I slowly lifted my eyelids. Light poured in like I’d never seen before. I wasn’t blind. I blinked a few times, bringing the mirror into focus.
“Damn.”
My eyes had changed slightly, but they still didn’t look quite right. I turned to Twilight, allowing her to inspect them.
“They don’t look bad. You could say you have a genetic condition.”
“Ponies would buy that?”
She moved her hoof across my vision and my eyes followed it.
“You seem to still have your full visual range.”
“More than that actually. I think I’m seeing a few new shades of color that I didn’t before.”
“Changelings can’t see every color?”
“Apparently not.”
I turned to the mirror again, examining my eyes at a closer range. The coloring was still original. And I didn’t seem to have an iris like ponies do. But it was a step closer to the desired look.
“I wonder if I could get it right the next time.”
“I swear if you try again, I’ll throw you out of here so fast! That was the stupidest thing you could have ever done! If you do it again you probably will go blind!”
That was a fair point. And the process had hurt like Tartarus. Maybe I just needed to give them a chance before acting rashly.
“Well if I’m all ready, maybe we could go for a walk?”
The alicorn looked skeptical, but I could tell she was weighing the risk. I gave her the biggest smile I could, willing her to agree. She rolled and eyes and sighed.
“Alright! But not for too long.”
She opened the door and motioned outside.
“After you.”
I trotted over to the door and looked outside. There were ponies out and about, the sun was shining, and I had a new body to show off! I stepped outside and took a deep breath. The fresh air was rejuvenating.
Twilight stepped out behind me, placing a saddlebag on her back.
“Where would you like to go?”
“I want to see everything.”
“Well we don’t have all day, but I can show you the highlights.”
She began walking and I fell into step beside her. I felt the excitement in every inch of my body. And yet, as we approached the first street, I felt nervous. What if ponies saw through the adjustments? What if they tried to run me out of town? I began to trail behind and Twilight slowed her pace.
“You’ll be fine.”
The street was crowded. There were so many ponies! Surely I didn’t think my new look would fool all of them? I wanted to turn and run back to the library. This wasn’t worth the anxiety! I attempted to turn around, but Twilight grabbed my hoof. I locked eyes with her, her own only expressing concern. I took a breath.
“It’s harder than I thought.”
She nodded.
“I’ll be right with you. Don’t give up yet.”
I slowly nodded and fell in next to her again.
“I’m not sure if I’m ready for socializing.”
“Believe it or not I was the same way when I first came to town.”
“Really?”
“I didn’t use to think I needed anypony in my life. Well, besides Spike and Celestia. But then I came here and met my friends. Now I couldn’t live without them.”
“I’ve never been dependent on anypony before.”
“It’s not a matter of dependency...”
A stall caught her attention and she stopped.
“Friendships are about sharing interests, overcoming differences, and being supportive of one another. You don’t have to be fully dependent on them, but it’s nice to have somepony you can depend on in a tough situation.”
“Relationships sound hard.”
We approached the stall and the salespony smiled at us.
“Good morning Twilight! Something I can get for you?”
Twilight looked at the table.
“Is that a Phoenix quill?”
“Sure is! I got it in yesterday. I knew right away you’d be interested.”
Twilight took out a small pouch and deposited several coins on the table. She placed the quill in her bag and thanked the salespony. As we walked away other ponies began calling out to Twilight, who responded to each of them in turn. I listened as we continued our stroll.
“Are all ponies this friendly?”
Twilight turned her attention to me
“In Ponyville? Yes. The town is a lot like a big family.”
“Huh...family. That’s a group of ponies that are related by blood, right?”
“Right. But the town is only like a family. That’s why everypony is so friendly.”
“Families sound nice.”
“Don’t you have parents or siblings?”
“I guess...but you wouldn’t know it by looking. Changelings fend for themselves within the hive. Sure I had hatchmates, but none of us were close.”
“Sounds lonely.”
We turned a corner and approached a colorful building.
“What’s that?”
“Oh! That’s Sugarcube Corner. That’s where Pinkie lives and works. It’s a bakery.”
“A bakery? You mean..where they make cookies and cupcakes and other sweets?”
“Right!”
My stomach growled.
“I could go for a snack right about now.”
Twilight giggled and led the way to the entrance.
———————————
Pinkie made sure to give me plenty of samples. She couldn’t believe that changelings didn’t have sweets of their own. So here I was walking down the street with a bag of sugary confections.
Twilight pointed out several buildings along the way, giving a mini history lesson for each one. Our last stop on the tour was a building towards one edge of town.
“This is Carousel Boutique. It’s Rarity’s dress shop.”
“Dress shop... Like clothes?”
“Yeah. Fancy clothes.”
“I never understood the concept. What’s the point of wearing a cloth layer?”
“Sometimes it’s nice to dress up. It makes you feel special.”
“Well I already feel ‘special’ as it is. The last thing I need is clothes.”
“I didn’t say we were going to buy anything. I just thought you’d want to see the shop.”
I followed her into the shop. There was fabric all over the place. Twilight looked around the room.
“Rarity?”
A few pieces of fabric levitated away from the corner and revealed the unicorn working at a machine.
“Over here darling! Sorry about the mess. I’m working on new outfits for the Ponytones! I thought we could use a fresh look.”
She finished with the fabric in the machine and turned around. Her mane was disheveled, and she seemed a little out of sorts. I did my best not to smile. It was interesting to see her like this. She was less intimidating than when she was put together.
Rarity looked from Twilight to me.
“Who’s your friend Twilight?”
Wow! I thought for sure she’d have recognized me.
“Nice to know I left an impression on you.”
She blinked a few times before realizing who I was.
“Shade? Is that really you?”
“Yeah. I made a few changes.”
“A few? You look absolutely...normal. Sorry. I mean, more pony-like.”
“I was going for normal. Thank you.”
Rarity smiled and turned to Twilight.
“What brings you here darling?”
“I was showing Shade around town. It doesn’t seem ponies took notice of him, so I guess his new body does the trick.”
Rarity looked at me again.
“Why did you change your look? Not that it isn’t bad of course. I think you look fine. Far more handsome.”
I felt my face heat up slightly at that comment.
“I needed to blend in so that I can stay away from the library this weekend.”
“Why on earth do you need to do that?”
Twilight chimed in.
“Cadence finally accepted my invitation to come here!”
“Oh that’s marvelous Twilight. But that doesn’t explain... Oh. Oh it does explain.”
Rarity’s ears drooped slightly.
“I doubt Cadance would understand the situation.”
I shrugged.
“It’s okay. I’ll just wander around.”
Twilight shook her head.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. If you’re spotted for any reason and Cadance finds out? I can’t even begin to imagine..”
“Well where am I supposed to go then?”
“I’m sure Pinkie would love to have you over.”
“Are you trying to fatten me up? If I lay low at Sugarcube Corner I’ll run it out of business with my sweet tooth.”
“Perhaps I can be of assistance?”
We both turned to the alabaster unicorn. She had a small smile.
“If you really need somewhere to ‘lay low’, I have plenty of space here.”
She motioned around the shop. I looked around at the piles of fabric.
“I’d just be in your way Rarity. I’m sure I can find another place.”
“It’s really no trouble Shade.”
“But...are you sure?”
“No. But everypony deserves a chance.”
I glanced at Twilight. She seemed just as surprised at the offer.
“Well I guess I’ve found my hiding spot Twilight.”
Twilight smiled.
“Okay. We’ll make this work.”
Rarity clapped her hooves together.
“Splendid! I could use you as an assistant. Or perhaps a model!”
I turned to Twilight.
“Can I go get fattened up instead?”