"You know, when I said you could be mad at her later, I didn't literally mean to drop all your anger in one fell swoop."
"What?"
You swear half the time when you're talking to Anon, it's like speaking to a child.
To be fair, compared to your own age he is a child, but that is not the point.
"Look, I'm glad I was able to help, and you two are talking. But stay mad at her at least a little bit; after all, she did stick me with you," you respond, glancing around the garden. While he had fallen asleep, Anon's dream mirrored Canterlot's castle garden you had been within less than an hour ago.
"Are you alright? You seem really stressed out," Anon says, clearly taking note of your head on a swivel
"Lovely, never better," you answer, impatiently awaiting Luna's appearance.
"Darkie, you know I don't believe you, right?" he asks, much to your irritation.
"Shut up, you know I hate that name!"
"Yes, I do. But I also know that if I keep calling you that, you'll get fed up and tell me why you're suddenly acting so agitated," he teases. "So, are we going to play this game or do you want to just skip the charades and tell me what's going on?"
You grit your teeth in frustration, but nonetheless, swallow your pride and acquiesce to his proposal.
"Look, I finally have your trust, and I have Luna's trust, even after everything that happened. So I'm not keen to screw that all up, but I also know I'm not exactly... personable," you admit.
"You're doing just fine right now, are you sure you're not overthinking all of this? I mean, it's just the three of us, what's the worst that could happen?"
"Luna could come up with an incredibly stupid idea to-" You stop talking as you sense an energy manifest within this realm.
Followed by another.
"Lovely, she did exactly what I feared she would. Good luck, I gotta go," you bark quickly, turning tail to leave the dream.
But a tug on your tail prevents you from disappearing. Of course, Anon in all of his stubbornness, has a hold of you.
"No, you aren't leaving, you said you had an explanation for a bunch of crap Luna and I cannot make any sense of," he argues, waggling a finger at you. "There's no way I'm letting you drop that comment and disappearing without any elaboration.
"Anon, you don't understand, I will explain at a later time, I just can't do it now," you protest, beginning to feel your nerves fray.
"Why?"
"I'm here, sorry I was a bit delayed," interrupts Luna, as she finally appears in the small clearing. "I decided to bring somepony with me."
You don't even need to look to know who Luna has brought. You already know how your mind works.
Er, how her mind works. Which you used to be a part of.
Something like that.
Sure enough, trailing only a few steps behind her younger sister is Princess Celestia, granted access to this dream through Luna's magic. You and her make eye contact for a split second, which only makes you more uncomfortable. Surprisingly, she seems just as adamant upon seeing you, her gaze darting away to Anon.
"Oh, that's why you suddenly wanted to jet, isn't it?" he asks quietly, letting go of you.
"Congratulations, you figured it out, genius," you snap back at him. Anon doesn't respond, instead turning his attention to the two sisters as he gives them a rather awkward smile.
"I wasn't waiting too long. Well, we weren't waiting too long. Hi Celestia."
"Good evening, Anonymous," she replies, flashing him a bright smile. However, that optimism fades away as once again her eyes fall onto you, this time lingering. "Hello... what do we even call you?" she asks.
Whether it was meant that way or not, you don't like the tone she used when referring to you. Irritated, you step forward, puffing your chest out with pride and an air of defiance.
"I am whom you always knew me as. Nightmare Moon," you respond.
Everyone is silent for a time, exchanging glances with one another.
"You see why I think you should change your name? It's kind of off-putting," Anon whispers to you.
"Am I not a mare of the night?" you hiss back. Your rhetorical question is not taken the way you anticipated, as Anon can't hold back a short snicker.
"I mean, if referring to yourself as a prostitute is your thing, don't let me hold you back," he replies.
"You are an idiot. A genuine idiot," you growl, the stress of this whole situation beginning to light your fuse. You take a few steps towards Luna, who was also just a moment ago in a private conversation with Celestia.
"Luna, a moment of your time. In private," you demand, making it known you aren't thrilled with her shenanigans. She nods silently, still calm and relaxed amidst the tension in the air. As you wander through the clearing to the maze, you turn around to face her.
"What's wrong?" she asks, apparently oblivious to the obvious answer.
"Why did you bring Celestia? What made you think I'm ready to see her? Face to face?"
"Well, I promised my sister I would let her know anything and everything we learn regarding what I did to Anonymous," she replies. "I broke that promise once, I'm not doing it again. You told Anon you understand more of what's going on between... well, all of us, but it was complicated enough you wanted to explain in person. I figured it would be best if Tia heard this straight from the source."
"And you didn't think anything of the last time she and I met?"
"It was both of us, we were one being," Luna corrects.
"Whatever, you know what I mean. I already see Celestia doesn't look thrilled to meet me, and I've seen her whisper something to you on more than one occasion now."
"And you have done the same. Not only do you seem irritated to see our sister, but you've also been whispering to Anon."
"Yes, because I'm already stressed as it is trying to figure out how to best describe this whole mess that - I remind you again - you began, and now you're adding fuel to that fire with her here," you argue. "And it's not like Anon is offering up any intelligence on his part, he's over there talking about whores."
"I... what? Nevermind, don't explain that last part," she said, shaking her head. "But you truly care about improving yourself and where you stand in the mind of Anon, as well as my sister and I, don't you?"
"Well, yes. I mean, Anon is frustrating as hell sometimes, and he doesn't think things through, but he at least talks to me. You didn't offer me that," you say. That was way harsher than you meant it to be, but why sugarcoat it?
"Again, I am sorry for... well, for everything. I did not know what I do now, and clearly, I have been misleading myself. But I am listening now, as are Anon and my sister. Please, you said you could make sense of everything, between you and I, and you and Anonymous."
Her statement strikes you as odd, and as you take in your surroundings that have faded during your one-on-one with Luna, you find yourself once again in a group with Celestia and Anon, who look on in mild amusement.
"How long have they been listening?" you grumble, realizing the trickery you have been submitted to. Noting your gaze in their direction, both Celestia and Anon wave.
"Oh, we never really left. I'm actually surprised you didn't notice we were walking in place as the scenery shifted," Luna replies, looking rather pleased with herself.
"You aren't doing yourself any favors here as far as trust building."
"To be fair, it was Anon's idea. He told me that you were likely to be a little reserved in this meeting," Luna says.
"Good to know, I'll be sure to give him nightmares."
"I heard that, you know I can just stop them, right Darkie?" Anon calls out.
"SHUT UP!"
"Alright, I think there's been enough theatrics over the past few days to last us a while," Celestia says, her amused grin fading as she becomes more serious. "Nightmare, I know we have had our issues in the past, and I must admit, I find myself still a little... uncomfortable in your presence, but to know that you feel the same way - it puts me much more at ease."
"Oh good, you feel better. That makes me feel a lot better," you grumble, rolling your eyes in time with the lick of your sarcastic tone. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Anon start to take a step forward and say something.
But Celestia takes note and halts him with a raise of her hoof.
"No, she is fine. Let her speak," she instructs him. Anon's eyes dance between you and her for a moment, before he backs down and stands next to Luna, who has also moved to the side.
Now, it's just you and Celestia, face to face and only a few steps apart. Her attention turns back to you once she is satisfied her wishes are met.
"I am not here to fight, I am here to listen," she says. "I am not referring just to what Luna has requested me to accompany her for, but also what you have to say. Everything you've held back for so long, let it out."
You stop from proceeding any further with your tirade, suddenly feeling suspicious. Maybe this is a test, to see whether you have changed, in Celestia's eyes. It's doubtful she wants to actually hear you vent your ire at her, right?
"No," you answer her abruptly. "I think that's what you want me to do. You want me to prove all I am is a sentient ball of anger and hatred, to prove to those two I need to be shunned, isolated for eternity. I'll hold my peace, I'm not giving you that satisfaction."
"I'm not looking for satisfaction, sister," Celestia replied quietly, her head bowed.
Your heart jumps up into your throat while your mind tries to decide whether what you heard was reality. But Celestia takes advantage of your sudden speechless state.
"It pains me to see you because I have to face my gravest mistake. I have to bear witness what my ignorance and your jealousy has warped you into. I have to face something - no, somepony - that I cannot fix, whom I am unable to aid. No, I am not afraid of you. But seeing a part of my sister - you - forced into this existence... I do not even know what to say. I am sorry."
"I...What?"
Celestia's head finally rises back up to look at you, while you struggle to find something to even say in return. Did she actually - apologize?
Sure, that's what you wanted - after all these years - but it just feels... it doesn't feel any better. You don't know what you were expecting, but all this anger, this grudge you've held against her for so long seems trivial, pointless. It does not change anything...
"No, I am the one that should be feeling regret, Celestia," you announce, taking a step towards her. "I've hated you for centuries, cursed you while I served my time in exile. For what? What have I gained? What does this gain me? It's only made me angrier."
"I know it has, I knew it as soon as you returned," Celestia says calmly. I could see in your eyes the isolation was not constructive, it was destructive. But you wouldn't stop, you wouldn't listen to me. I did what I had to to keep myself safe, but more importantly, to keep Equestria safe. We made a vow before we even began to fight to bring Equestria together, that we would return harmony and peace. I am sorry for what has happened to you, I'm sorry for not taking notice of your distress before everything spiraled out of control. But I could not let your anger jeopardize our world."
"So in essence, you're saying sorry, but not sorry," comes Anon's voice.
Mirroring each other, you and Celestia turn your heads, glaring at him for the disruption. Luna pays him no mind, other than extending one of her wings and smacking him on the head without needing to look.
"This is the true reason why I brought my sister along tonight," Luna says, taking a step toward the pair of you. "Nightmare Moon has helped me understand and truly face my past and accept it for what it is. It is much easier to live in denial or to place the blame upon somepony else. But such actions only create dissension. I do not expect the two of you to see eye to eye tonight, nor in the near future. But I feel this is a step in the correct direction."
"I have to say I am surprised at how -well, mild-mannered you have become. I trusted my sister and Anon when they both agreed you had made a drastic change, but to see it with my own eyes is something else entirely," Celestia says, turning back to you. "No offense, of course."
"I will admit I had not expected you to be so open-minded upon seeing me. I suppose much skepticism would have been understandable, considering how we have met in the flesh," you respond, pausing for a moment. "But I have to request that, if we are ever to meet again - like this, not with me being, uh - anyway, I only ask you do not refer to me as your sister. Luna is your sister, and while I may be a former part of her, I am separate now. I feel it is only fair for her to keep that title with her."
While initially unsettled by your request, Celestia is quick to compose herself after hearing your explanation. She agrees with a simple nod and the slightest hint of a smile.
"I am glad we are all able to be civil about this, and as I returned back to the castle tonight, it occurred to me we need to be trusting of each other," Luna says. "Sister, you and I share a link, as do Anon and I, and it seems Nightmare Moon has been able to sense a changeling masquerading as me a few days ago when this all began. Unless we find a way to ensure everypony around us is who they say they are, we can only trust each other, because we share a link with one another. But Nightmare Moon, I understand that you were explaining something to Anonymous about-"
"About the effects your little spell had, yes," you quickly interject for clarity. "But to be clear, I don't think I can be of much help in this idea you have. The only reason I was able to warn Anon was because of the changeling that posed as you attempted to feast upon his love for you. So unless another one is dumb enough to try the same trick twice - which wouldn't necessarily surprise me - I can't do much."
Luna nods, though her confidence has taken a hit, as her perked up ears instantly droop.
"While it is not welcome news, I appreciate you being honest," she says.
"Anyway, yes, the main event that everypony is gathered around for," you remark, letting a hint of sarcasm slip. "I personally have been considering why I am the way I am now. Being able to talk with Anon has helped in some respects, even if he can be rather... grating."
"I'll take that as a compliment, thank you," he quips back.
"Exhibit A, as demonstrated. But it goes beyond a release of pent up anger, at least from what I am beginning to believe. Luna, we were separated into two separate beings upon the use of the Elements of Harmony by Celestia's student, yes?"
"Yes, as far as I am concerned. That is when you made yourself known to me," she replies.
"Where do you think I came from?" you ask. The other three all exchange glances, confused by the question.
"I see I have to spell all of it out. Luna, I did not just form out of your anger. The Elements cast me out as another being. That being would happen to be your subconscious."
"So you are like a tulpa?" Anon chimes in.
"Yes and no," you say, shaking your head. "I am in the sense of being formed from her subconscious, but she did not create me in the sense of the normal term. I suppose it is a combination of a tulpa and a split personality. Or something, honestly it's rather irrelevant aside from the subconscious part."
You pause for a moment, curious to see if just from that tidbit, somepony has you theory figured out. But all that greets you is a series of confused faces, forcing you to continue on.
"Anyways, all that anger, jealousy pain, all of that was funneled into Luna's subconscious, which turned me into... well, me. Unchanged from when the Elements were used to separate me, mind you, so Luna just sort of mind blocked me. But then, Anon comes into play."
Upon mention of the ensuing arc, Luna sighs, dropping her gaze to the beaten dusty path underhoof. Anon looks visibly uncomfortable himself, though he tries to hide it as he crosses his arms and remains silent. Celestia is the only one who still remains cool and collected - not necessarily surprising considering none of this directly involves her, but her calm aura about her paints a drastic picture in comparison.
"Anyways, I suppose we already know what happened next, I'll spare the details other than when Luna and Anon swapped places, I saw my opportunity to break free from my isolation. Trying to toy with his mind and thus cause him to lose grip on reality and control only attached me to him when Luna 'found' a way to reverse the spell, and at that point, everything goes blank for me."
"What do you mean by that?" Celestia asks. You can't help but shrug your shoulders.
"Unless Luna knows for sure, I just sort of - fell asleep in a sense. Whether Luna did something to force me to remain dormant or Anon's mind is different enough at first that I could not get a foothold to make my presence known, I can't say."
"But Discord changed that," Luna muses, her head snapping up to attention, a fierce and hardened resolve returned to her in an instant.
"Yes, that's the first voice I remember, that old blowhard telling you - or me, I couldn't tell the difference - to 'show everypony the monster you really are.'"
"Wait, when was this?" Anon interjects. Before you can respond, Luna jumps in.
"Do you not remember meeting Discord? I find that hard to believe," she retorts.
"I do, but I don't remember him casting a spell on you or anything."
"Discord's magic is not like unicorn or alicorn magic. It has no visual aura and can manifest itself in different ways. This particular instance was something resembling hypnotism more than anything else. I did not understand or feel anything different after that encounter - which I admit I am somewhat responsible for instigating our disagreement," Luna replies, pausing as she shakes her head. "When I apologized to him, he was rather - he looked rather confused and disturbed when he tried to undo what he thought he did."
"Evidently he knew you put up a block to keep me out in your mind, but I wasn't there," you clarify. "It would appear that hypnotism or whatever you want to refer to it as jumped the gap between you two through the link formed by my presence."
"That's a great history lesson, but what does it all mean?" Anon interrupts again, clearly grown impatient with the winded explanation.
"It means both questions the two of you had tonight are related - and I've finally made sense of it now why I'm so... 'mellowed out,' as you would put it. It's not just because of talking with you, because we haven't really discussed what I've done in my - our past. Tell me, haven't you noticed I always pop up when you have a dilemma you're mulling in your head?"
In an instant, Celestia's eyes widen as the lightbulb pops on in her head. With a silent bow of the head, you beckon for her to speak up.
"I think what Nightmare is implying is when she became attached to your mind, she melded with your conscience, and thus, acts as that little voice in your head - your moral compass, but in a much more active manner," Celestia explains.
"Indeed. But at the same time, what happened during my split from Luna due to the second use of the Elements of Harmony greatly diminished her inhibitions - hence her questionable decision-making," you reply, before turning to Luna. "Not that this completely exonerates you from what you did."
"No, I take responsibility for what I did, even if your theory makes sense. But speaking of which, why now does everything seem so... clear? Since getting what memories I had blocked off back again, I can see the irrational decisions and lies I have concocted. But why now?"
"That I do not know. Perhaps the memories have served to recreate or jump start your morality?" you suggest. "Again, this is all a theory. I have a lot of spare time to sit around and ponder the world's great mysteries as of late."
"So you're essentially a half of each of us that formed a whole you, am I understanding this right?" Anon asks, his voice underlining his shock and disbelief.
"Very good, you know how to do fractions," you jab. "But yes, that is the bare bones explanation."
"It would seem the Elements of Harmony are not the miracle talismans we were led to believe all these years," Celestia ponders aloud. "I suppose, at the end of it all this has been settled in an overall positive manner, though the details are disturbing."
"I have made my peace with what fate has dealt me. I may not physically ever see the light of day again, but at least I'm not being forgotten and caged away for all eternity," you comment.
"But could there be a way you and I could... could we become one again?" Luna asks. At once, all attention falls upon her.
Personally, you find her question very troubling. On the surface, the idea seems fine and dandy, but will you cease to exist? How would that even work?
"I have to say even if it is possible, I am not fond of the idea, Luna," you reply cautiously. "I understand I'm biased, but I don't think the outcome would be positive. Besides that, what of Anon's conscience that I have been bound to? Do you really want to risk turning him into a sociopath?"
Celestia shakes her head, raising a hoof to rub at her temple. "This is all a lot to absorb in one night. Perhaps we can continue this discussion at another point in time if need be?"
Everyone else comes to the same consensus, nodding in agreement.
"Indeed. But I ask of you Nightmare Moon, do what you can to watch over Anonymous. With Chrysalis in out dungeon, and his home already ransacked, I expect the changeling hive is eager for retribution."
"I'll try. After all, it's my hide that is in danger too if he screws up."
"Thanks for the confidence boost," Anon sarcastically comments.
"I will be taking my leave," Celestia says, turning away from the group and walking a few steps. But she does not get too far before she stops, turning her head until her eyes are locked upon you. "As surprised as I am to say it, thank you for sharing what you know, Nightmare."
You aren't even sure how to respond, so you stay silent, merely nodding your head before the solar princess suddenly disappears.
Luna rises from her seated position, trudging over to Anon before giving him a hug and a peck on the cheek, both warmly welcomed by Anonymous.
"I will take my leave as well, as I can sense a disturbance within somepony else's dream. Good night to you both."
"Night, Moonbutt," Anon calls after her. Luna blushes slightly, giving him a sheepish grin before she too disappears. After watching her abrupt departure, he turns his attention to you.
"Well, I'd say tonight went well, and to think you were all worried about this," he teases.
It did go better than you expected, but you also feel a tenseness leave your body now that Celestia and Luna have left. You let out a deep exhale, the remaining stress within you departing as well.
"I certainly wasn't expecting to hear an apology. I'm still trying to figure out if I'm hallucinating or if it was real," you admit.
"It was real," Anon confirms. "Talking with her last night opened my eyes. Unlike Luna, she always knew you were her sister and not some sort of evil entity that just suddenly appeared. Though I have to agree with you, I wasn't quite expecting this to be so civil. But were you being serious with everything you said?"
Part of you is offended by his question. But before you snap at him, you reel in your emotions. "Yes, I am being serious. You suddenly don't trust me?"
"I never said that, Darkie. It's just - yeah, that's a lot to absorb in one night. So you're basically a part of me now?"
"Yes, and dammit, stop calling me that," you growl. "And by the way, you heard what Luna told me, somehow I'm supposed to help keep you safe, and in turn myself safe. So please, try not to do anything else stupid and get us killed."
"What stupid thing have I done lately?" he asks innocently.
You stare at him for a moment.
"Okay, what other stupid thing have I done?" he asks impatiently.
"There were all those stupid comments tonight."
"I can't help myself," he says, crossing his arms.
"Hm. It's true I suppose. You can't fix stupid."