//------------------------------// // Chapter 8 // Story: Starlight Glimmer (Accidentally) Raises the Dead // by SockPuppet //------------------------------// "....and that’s the story,” Starlight finished. “I woke up three days later, in mom's clinic, intubated, strapped to a gurney, with my face in an improvised splint, magic inhibitor on my horn, pottying into a bedpan. She had surgically repaired my nose, but that wasn’t her specialty. Because of my alcohol addiction, mom was really ‘parsimonious’ with the painkillers." Trixie's jaw dropped open, and she stopped walking. Her caravan squeaked to a halt behind her. Her wizard hat tipped over one eye. Ponyville was still about ten miles in front of them, and their failed trip to Saddle Arabia many miles behind them. "Holy flaming horse apples from pegasi on high, Starlight! Why would you think it's okay to tell me that story? Why would you think it's okay to tell anypony that story? Is, is, is it true?!?" "Every word. I was strapped down under suicide watch, because I had mentioned cyanide, and because I told Mystic Heart I would kill myself. Mom lectured me for days, maybe a week, almost without stopping for breath. That's how I know what happened to her, out of my sight, and what happened between her and dad. Mystic Heart took a few turns lecturing me while mom napped, or took a housecall. Not the sharpest sword in the armory, that one, but I learned a lot of synonyms for ‘idiot slut’." Trixie screamed, "Starlight! All I asked was why you snore so badly!" "Trixie, if I had said, 'I got my nose smashed flat across my face and ruptured all my sinuses as a foal,' you would have said, 'How?' And I would have said, 'Somepony bucked me in the face.' And you would have said, 'Who bucked you in the face?' And I would have said, 'My mom.' And you would have said, 'Huh? You grew up in an abusive home? That explains a lot!' And I would have said, 'No, my mom was awesome, I deserved to be bucked in the face.' And you would have said, 'All abusers convince their victims they deserve it.' And so on. Just telling you the story from the beginning...." Starlight shrugged. “Easier.” Trixie said, "Your mom should not have broken your face. Have you heard yourself snore? That's lifetime permanent damage, Starlight. Necromancy or not, she was wrong." "You remember the incident where I hit Rarity, Rainbow, and the others with the spell to do five friendship lessons at once? I have a bad habit to use magic first and think later, or think never. I mean, I raised the dead because mom was sad! I use my gift stupidly, Trixie. And I am gifted, no doubt.” Trixie nodded yes. “Mom knew that habit of mine, and I had just ten minutes earlier escaped a death penalty crime, and I was suggesting more magic from the same feathering book. It was about to be dawn any minute, ponies were waking up, witnesses. She thought bucking me out cold then and there was the only way to keep me alive. She apologized, later, and said she should have broken my leg, or my ribs again.” “Apologized?” “She and Mystic Heart spun a cover story that I got drunk and belligerent and hurt myself levitating. Constable Keystone knew it was a steaming pile of... fabrication, but mom was the most respected pony in town, and I was the least respected, so they let it slide.” "I'm going to Sire's Hollow and give your mom a piece of my mind!" "Mom's dead." Trixie gasped like she'd just been bucked in the gut. "Oh. Oh, Starlight, I’m...” "After I broke evil, ran away, founded Our Town, mom 'n dad tried for another foal. The last time I visited, dad told me what happened. It—he, Starflare, my... my... my brother—gestated seven months, he was getting big. They were feeling optimistic. But his placenta was implanted across mom’s cervix, and then the premature labor came. Dad ran to get the town vet, and in the three minutes dad was gone, mom bled out.” "Oh... I'm sorry, Starlight." "I never told her goodbye. I never thanked her for saving my life. All the times she saved my life. I attempted suicide three times on her. She had a sixth sense and caught me, saved me, every time. On my eighteenth birthday, I went to the train station before she woke up. I didn’t even leave a note. I hid in the bushes and teleported onto the train so that there were no witnesses and no receipt. Dad later told me they thought I’d hiked into the mountains and killed myself somewhere hidden. On my birthday. Mom loved my birthday, because I was her one foal who survived. Celestia knows what present she never got to give me. Mom had my pegasus uncles and cousins travel in from Manehattan and scour the hollers and peaks for my body.” Trixie laid a hoof on Starlight’s withers. "The amazing thing is that dad forgives me. I think it's because I'm seeing the psychiatrist. Dad said that now that I'm getting help, I'm not the foal who ran away, but the adult daughter they always knew I could be. He’s better than I deserve...” Starlight wiped a tear. “Even if he calls me ‘pumpky-wumpkin’ in public.” Trixie’s eyes unfocused, and she dropped into third-person to distance herself from the pain. “Trixie feels so sad for your family. Trixie had a miscarriage, once. Trixie wasn't even pregnant on purpose, Trixie traded sex for food while she was unemployed and homeless, before she got the rock farm job, but it still made Trixie so sad... It still made Trixie feel less than whole. For your mom to try so many times? And still keep saving ponies and treating illnesses? Lead a normal life?” Trixie shook her head, like somepony trying to recover after a punch. “Trixie can’t imagine. Your mom must have been one heck of a mare.” “Mom took her oath so seriously. She wanted to save everypony. I miss mom. I wish I had told her how I really feel. And now I never can. She died while I was hunting Twilight." "You.... have time travel," Trixie said. Starlight shook her head no. "If I’d just gone home after my dictatorship collapsed, I would have been there when she died... nopony could have saved her, outside of a university medical center, but I could have gone for the vet, so that dad could have at least held her at the end.” Trixie thought for a second, trying to find a subject change. "What about the other pony? Mystic?" Starlight said, "Mystic Heart. She never told on me, although I think mom made a secret deal with her family to pay for the liquor I'd been stealing. I stopped stealing from them, just them, but my alcoholism got a lot worse after that night. Mom probably offered them free medical care for life, since we were broke. Mystic Heart wasn’t very healthy, so that was a good deal for them. Foalhood chemo can mess you up forever, and the oncologists in Vanhoover had to pound her within an inch of her life to save her." "What happened to Mystic Heart?" "Job. Husband. Foals. I heard she's the concierge and event planner at a fancy Vanhoover hotel, and she married the hotel’s sous chef." "She's Sunburt's first cousin?" "Yeah. After her cancer, she was five or six or so, she moved into town and lived with Sunburst like a sister, so that she could be close to mom's clinic, close to school, other foals. My mom saved her. She had a nasty leukemia and mom’s bloodwork caught it early. An average doctor would have taken the funny blood count to be a normal foalhood virus.” Trixie said, "If you and Sunburst keep getting closer, she’ll be awkward." Starlight said, "Yeah! They really love each other. Trade letters. Trade visits. He’ll want her in our wedding party...." "Wait! What? You two are getting....?" Trixie asked. "No, just a fantasy in my head. Don't tell Sunburst I said that, please. I haven't told him this story, and I'm concerned about how any normal pony would respond to it.” Trixie grinned. “Calling me abnormal?” “Very! Also, our long-distance problem. Crystal Empire to Ponyville is a whole day on the train. Besides, I don't know if he thinks of me as more than an old friend. I've seen him checking out Twilight's rump. And yours." Trixie levitated up her hat and rubbed her horn. "Really? Well, I've checked out Twilight's rump, myself, so you can't blame Sunburst. Maybe you should tell Sunburst you're thinking about weddings." Trixie put the hat back in place. “Trixie’s mom and dad are in showbiz and lived apart for Trixie's whole foalhood, but they love each other all the same. Long distance is less a hurdle than you might think. Especially if... you can’t have foals?” Starlight’s ears drooped. "Nope. I had the ultrasound after I moved to Ponyville, and confirmed it. I've been... chaste... since I surrendered to Twilight. I told you I raped the unmarried stallions in Our Town when I was an evil dictator." "Trixie's been meaning to ask.... Feather Bangs? He's so bleeecchh!" Starlight laughed. "No, not him! Feather Bangs was underage when I was dictator, and even evil-me had standards! Besides, I can't abide his personality. I considered murdering Feather Bangs—sometimes twice a day, I considered it—but boffing him? Never." "Feather Bangs, yuck. Trixie's respect for Starlight's taste in stallions is restored. How'd you keep your butt-makeup from smearing off in bed? Your fake cutie mark?" "Curiosity-suppression spell. They wouldn't have noticed if a yak joined in for a threesome. Look, because of my past, I've been scared about even consensual sex. But, if I start again, I'll go get my tubes tied. A pregnancy will kill me. Like it killed my mom.” "That's awful." "Yup." Trixie stared into Starlight’s eyes. "Starlight, you need to be careful who you tell that zombie story to. There's no statute of limitations. Necromancy will burn right through your Royal Pardon. You've heard the rumors about Princess Luna?" "Luna’s collection of thirty-seven necromancer heads on pikes in the dungeon of Canterlot Castle?" "That’s the rumor Trixie heard. Trixie... reads the tabloids. Trixie's not proud of that. Why put heads on pikes where nopony can see them? Isn't the point public intimidation?" "Luna's mind works... different than normal ponies. Even Celestia is almost like us. Luna is just... Luna." Pawing the ground, Starlight bit her lip, and stared at the horizon. "This next bit... this is a secret, okay?" Trixie nodded. "You can trust my great and powerful discretion." "It's a violation of trust to name other Alcoholics Anonymous members... but after my Friendship Map mission to Canterlot to help the princesses... I got to talking to Luna. I ate dinner with her after the mission was over. We became close friends. She's biologically just a kid, you know." "Eighteen or so? Not counting the years on the moon." "Nearly nineteen. At dinner, the castle waiter offered me wine with dinner and I said, 'No, goodness no, I'm an alcoholic,' and Luna burst into thunder and lightning and tears. Luna is an alcoholic, too, and at that time, she was alternating between dry weeks and blackout weeks. She drinks because of the things she saw as a filly, before they deposed Discord, and the things she sees now as Celestia’s enforcer.” “‘Enforcer’?” “Have you heard the phrase ‘extrajudicial punishment,’ Trixie?” “No, but I can put it together.” “Luna does bad things to the worst ponies. Stuff the courts won’t touch or the Guard can’t handle. So... Luna has raging PTSD. I'm her sobriety sponsor. I invited her while I was in Canterlot. She attends the Ponyville chapter of Alcoholics Anonymous, because it's lower-profile than Canterlot. We're only fifteen total, with her.” “Who else from Ponyville is an AA member? Anypony I know?” “I will never answer that question, Trixie, okay? I already regret saying Luna’s name, but if I said ‘an alicorn,’ you would have guessed. We all keep Luna’s secret. And so will you! I’ve been dry for nearly four years now, so sponsorship is the next step in my own recovery." Starlight smiled wide, as wide a smile as Trixie had ever seen on Starlight. Starlight continued, “Luna’s been dry for five whole months! I’ve... I’ve helped her, Trixie. I’m helping somepony else get better. It makes me understand why my mom loved her job. Why mom would hike seven miles into a blizzard at night to amputate a hoof. There’s something fundamental about helping somepony else. My family's not religious, but if mom's out there, somewhere, I hope...” Starlight began to cry. "That’s wonderful,” Trixie said, her brain reeling at the news. Goddess-diarch Luna, PTSD alcoholic? The world was topsy-turvy, suddenly. “But you changed the subject.” "I shared the zombie story at an AA meeting, as part of my healing process, and to set an example for Luna." Trixie hissed. "And you're still alive?" "After the meeting, Luna grabbed me by the mane and teleported me to the dungeons and showed me the heads. Oh sweet Celestia, the smell!” “Wow.” Starlight gagged at the memory, then spit onto the ground. “Uggh. Luna said, 'Starlight Glimmer, you are my friend. I name you savior of my life, for bringing me into the Program. But I am also the pony whom Celestia sends to sanction necromancers. It would vex me most grievously if you were to reoffend and I were forced to put your head in my collection one day.'" "....wow," Trixie said. "The thirty-seven heads are real?" "Only thirty-two, but yeah. Thirty-one ponies, one minotaur. She hates necromancers. I think she got her wings by dueling a necromancer, a thousand years ago, a pony who made allegiance to Discord, but she won't talk about it." “Wow. I heard she was nine when she got her wings.” Starlight stared at her own hooves. “Nine, yes. So, she fought in a civil war, and killed her first pony, when she was nine. How can Luna not be an alcoholic?” “Wow.” “Trixie, please say something other than ‘wow.’” “What should Trixie say?” Starlight began to sob, head dipping low, body shaking. “Can you say that we’re still friends?” Trixie stammered in shock, unhitched from her caravan, and hugged Starlight. “You’re my best friend. I love you.” “I almost told you, ‘I broke my nose playing hoofball in gym class.’ But I wanted to tell you...” Trixie hugged Starlight tighter. “After that night... that’s when I really lost it. Because Mystic Heart also heard the book die, I convinced myself all my voices were real. I stopped bugging mom to send me to a head doctor. I stopped begging for medicine. I decided to listen to the voices.” Trixie rubbed her neck and her ears drooped. “That damn Alicorn Amulet... it told Trixie that she was a god. But not a nice god, one of the great old ones... would Celestia really have killed a teenager? Cut off your horn?” “I... doubt it. I think the book was trying to psych me out. But I can’t say for sure.” “Freaking artifacts. Equestria is infested.” Starlight nodded. “For years, since Sunburst left, the voices had been telling me cutie marks were the problem... and after that night, I believed the voices. That’s why I did... those things I did. Even after the book was gone, I remembered the spells. I still remember them, and the memory is like leukemia in my soul. No matter how much I heal, I know I have the ability to revert in a split-second. That's one reason I can't ever drink again. Why I refused painkillers when Rainbow Dash broke my ribs and punctured my lung that time she accidentally crashed into me.” Trixie kissed Starlight between the ears. Starlight slumped down to the dust of the road. Trixie laid down on top of her, hugging her, crying with her. Into Starlight's ear, Trixie mumbled, "You're a good pony!" over and over again. Trixie kissed Starlight between the ears one more time. Eventually, Starlight stopped crying and they both stood up. “Mom used to kiss me between the ears, whenever I was feeling down. It was always the first thing she did when I woke up after every suicide attempt. ...thanks, Trixie. That helped a lot.” Trixie nodded, unsure what to say. “So. That’s the whole story. Thanks, Trixie. It means a lot to me that you still want to be my friend.” “You’re my best friend. I love you. Just.... do me a favor?" Starlight hitched up to Trixie's caravan for her turn to pull. "Anything, Trixie!" "Never raise the dead for Trixie, no matter how much you think it will help?"