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// SPOILER Special:  Trailer Troubles 
// Story: Unpleasant Correspondence 
// by StormLuna 
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Dear Princess Celestia, 

What the actual fuck?  I don't know if this is true or not but I have heard rumors that you and Luna are going to retire.  What is worse is that I have heard that you are going to expect me to run the show.  Now listen to me Tia, I have no desire to put up with the shit you have to deal with.  I have my own problems to handle, I certainly don't need any more.  Also, if you put me in charge, I would have far less time on my hooves to torture undesirables and have fun with my old friends.  I think things like that are way more important than having to put up with shit like town halls, summits and having to put up with the snobs you do. 

I have some advice, since you are constantly making hints about her being your daughter, put Starlight up there in your place.  Hey, if she is a blood relative of yours it should be her birthright to take over.  I am so sick and tired of her outshining me down here and I am getting sick and tired of her and Trixie keeping me up all night.  Let her outshine me up there instead and when things go to hell with foreign ambassadors, your little Starlie will be to blame, not me!

Now if you will excuse me, I am going to have a meltdown and hope the hell that this is all just a crock of shit.  Sorry TIA but I don't want to have to rule Equestria, I don't have the patience to and if you do put me in charge, I'm going to purge many, many undesirables.  The streets will run red with their blood and it will be all your fault. 

Not Wanting to Take Over, 

Princess Twilight Sparkle 





Dear Twilight, 

Look, you just seem to be the one that would be perfect for the job.  Also, if I move you up here you will be much closer to your old friends!  Nopony ever said that you actually had to welcome all those snobs into the castle, you can always just make the excuse that you have to go have fun with your old friends.  Hell, I'm pretty sure nopony will even ask what you mean by "have fun with your old friends!"  I'm sorry Twilight but I want to see how long it takes you to have that epic meltdown that will cause my sister and I to have to come back.

Now Luna is giving you ten years but I'm guessing that some terrible villain will return not long after we retire and we'll have to come back and save Equestria, then re-take control of it.  Wouldn't that be something?  You screwing up and then us having to come along and shine like we always should have?  Oh well, I guess we shall see who wins the bet.  Sweet Mother of Faust I hope it is me because that would prove to those writers that only natural born Alicorns, well them along with their powerful daughters, are fit to rule this country. 

Ready to Watch You Fail, 

Princess Celestia