//------------------------------// // Dirty Objects // Story: Thomas and Friends: The Retold Adventures // by The Blue EM2 //------------------------------// Toby, Henrietta, and Flash are enjoying their new lives on the Island of Sodor, but there is one distinct problem in that regard. They are not in the best of shape, and Flash, with his shabby clothes from years on the footplate, as well as Toby and Henrietta having peeling paint and clanking parts, doesn’t leave the best of impressions on prospective passengers. One day, James and Rarity arrived on a passenger train whilst Toby was sitting in the platform for the branch line, and proceeded to be rude to the. Well, James did at least. “Eurgh! What dirty objects!” he said. Toby was not at all pleased at this, and proceeded to ask James a question. “James, why are you red?” he asked. “Because I’m painted red,” James replied. “Well, that’s obvious,” Flash added. “It’s also because I’m a splendid engine, ready for anything and always looking my finest. You never see MY paint dirty!” James was confident in his superiority. “Not to mention he looks absolutely fabulous,” Rarity added. Toby smirked. “Well then, that explains why you needed bootlaces once, to ‘be ready for anything’, I suppose.” Rarity spoke up. “Those bootlaces belonged to a Mr Jeremiah Jobling, a man I sincerely hope I do not meet again, and has nothing to do with James’ paint.” She paused. “Mr Sentry, I am hereby offering to tailor some new clothes for you. Those ones you are wearing now do look a little on the worn side.” “That’s putting it mildly, darling,” Flash answered. “Thanks for the offer; I’ll pop in on my day off and see what takes my fancy.”’ Unfortunately, Toby hadn’t realised (or maybe he had) that by mentioning the bootlace incident, when James’ brakes had to be repaired using a leather bootlace and some old newspaper, had touched a particularly raw nerve, as Gordon had begun teasing him about it again despite Rainbow Dash’s efforts to get him to stop. The moment the signal dropped, James stormed away from the platform, hissing furiously and producing large quantities of steam. James’s passenger run ended at Knapford, and he uncouples from the coaches and went off to the goods yard to fetch some trucks. This was for a slow goods working, which stopped at each and every station to pick up and set down goods. James hated these workings as they were so slow. “These dirt, smelly wagons are positively frightful,” Rarity said, holding her nose as she backed James into the trucks. “I know!” James said, as he backed into some more and marshalled them together. “Dirty trucks from dirty sidings. Bleuagh!” Starting with only a few trucks, James slowly picked up more and more trucks, until he had assembled a train of at least 20 vehicles plus a brake van. This required slow speeds, as none of the vans were fitted, and if a runaway were to occur, it would be almost impossible to stop the train on a steep slope with just steam brakes and a brake van. Unfortunately, this being James, he made the unwise decision to take out his anger on these trucks. Although Rarity chastised him for this, James paid no attention to her, and as a result the trucks got angry too. They resolved to pay James out at the top of the next hill, Gordon’s Hill, which as my regular readers will know is very steep indeed. James neared the summit of Gordon’s Hill, which is where heavy goods trains stop to pin down the brakes before attempting to run down the other side of the hill. James had had an accident with trucks before, and as such Rarity applied the brakes and shut off steam to bring the train to a stop. “Wait James, wait!” she called, as the train slowed down. But James was in two places at once, only half-concentrating on what was going on, the other half being preoccupied with what he would say to Toby when they next met. But the trucks had no intention of letting them stop. “NOW!” their leader screeched, and they all slammed into each other with incredible force, causing the train to speed up down the hill. And with no brakes, they were headed for oblivion. Rarity watched in a panic as the speedometer continued to rise, well past 40, and upwards to 50 and 60 miles an hour. “On! On! On!” the trucks yelled excitedly, revelling in the chaos they were causing. “Do these trucks have a death wish or something?” James shouted. “I don’t know!” Rarity cried back. “But we’ve not slowing down!” The speedometer had reached its maximum possible speed of 80 miles an hour, but Rarity knew they were going much, much faster than that. She used the in-cab radio to alert Marron yard. “Marron Yard, Marron Yard, do you read me, over?” she asked. “This is Marron Yard to driver of 10:40 goods to Crovan’s Gate, how can I help you?” “We are running downhill out of control, at speeds of at least 80 miles an hour. Repeat, eight-zero miles an hour.” “Understood. We’ll divert you into a siding. Be prepared to bail.” The train roared into Marron station, the noise from the brakes terrible and the blocks glowing white hot in their futile battle to slow the train down. “I’ve got to stop!” James cried. Edward and Applejack pulled to a stop on an adjacent platform, only to see the goods train roar through and onto a siding loaded with tankers ready to go to another part of the island. Applejack could see that Rarity was clearly still on the footplate. “BAIL, BAIL!” she yelled, but it was too late. Then everything seemed to happen in slow motion. James smashed into the first tanker car, the impact with the tanker rupturing the seal and tearing the tank free of the frames. This flew into the air, and James then rode over the top of the tankers, blowing open the seals and crushing the frames, before falling onto his side on the main running line with a bang. The entire area was covered in tar, and James was covered from smokebox to cab in the stuff, looking a complete mess. Applejack ran over to assist, and went into the cab to find a badly injured Rarity propped against the cab wall. “Mah goodness!” she cried. “C’mon Rares, Ah’ll get ya to a doctor.” At which point, she went over and helped her up, dragging her over to a nearby cattle dock while a first aid worker checked her over. Several wagons had been broken into pieces by the crash, and James looked a mess, with bent lamp irons, a crooked chimney, and dented side rods. Thankfully, somebody went and got the breakdown train, and they were working to re-rail him when Toby and Percy arrived. “Look here Percy,” said Toby, quite out of character with the scene that had just passed. “What is this thing here?” “That’s James, didn’t you know?” Percy asked him. Pinkie Pie looked equally confused. “Yeah, that’s James all right.” “Well, it looks like James, but he’s a splendid red engine, and you never see his paint dirty.” “Can you please stop joking?!” James demanded. “Rarity is badly hurt as a result of this accident, and you two are not helping!” Thankfully, they stopped then and there, and cleared away the rest of the mess before helping James home, where Sir Toppham Hatt greeted them. “Well done Toby and Percy!” he said. “Yiou did a good job cleaning that mess.” He looked to James. “Now then, we need to get you cleaned up and repaired. But you will be glad to hear that Rarity is in the hospital and stable. They think she’ll recover from her injuries.” He looked finally to Toby. “You shall have a new coat of paint, as shall Henrietta.” The days went by, and Toby and Flash went about their work. They made sure to visit Rarity in the hospital, and Pinkie Pie put on a great party when she returned to work. But James made sure never to boast about his paint again!