"Take a seat youngin', stay around for a spell.
I've got a little story that I wanted to tell."
I remember just about everything.
I remember, and remember often, to ask myself if it’s a blessing, or a curse.
I remember that I still can’t decide.
I remember growing up. I grew up in what I thought was a perfect town. It wasn’t large, like Manehatten. I’d been there, done that, and never wanted to again. Ours was a small town, not in population, but in the sense that everyone knew everyone. Trade was conducted between members of the town, and hardly ever outside. We were very self-sufficient. Each family grew their own crops, had their own livestock, and made their own clothes and what not.
The air where I lived was clear. Buildings didn’t impede its travel and cigarettes didn’t diminish its purity. The water where I lived was clear as well. It, like the air, wasn’t trapped or dirty and filled with cigarettes. It was pleasing to look at -- the deep, calming, blue of the water. It was a source of joy, not a resource to barter for. The lake was large enough for everyone to either play or wash in, and there was still space left over.
I remember my friends, one specifically: a white unicorn with a brown mane, and eyes that shifted between blue and green. His name is Chance. We look the same, we act the same, hell, if my coat wasn’t tinged brown, I’d swear we were twins. I remember, as I sit here crying inside of my radsuit, that he’s still here. I can hear him snoring through the suit at the moment which is good. Sleep seems like it would be a commodity out in the Wasteland.
I remember why I’m out here...
I remember my mother. She was a plain pony, for the most part. She was beautiful too, no matter how much she didn’t believe that she was. She loved me like a mother would, and then some. She cared for everyone as if she were their mother; family friends and strangers, or the closest to a stranger that one could be in such a small town, were all treated the same by her.
I remember one day, in the spring, when the sun was shining and the birds were singing and the smell of living things was everywhere. My friend and I were at the lake, playing and laughing. We were having fun. She walked towards us stiffly. Her eyes were red. I remembered how she looked the same when she was upset. She called us back to the house, and we followed her there.
I remember how we couldn’t say anything. We just couldn’t. It was the same as how we felt at funerals, as if saying something wouldn’t end well. We were never sure what ‘not ending well’ entailed, but neither of us were eager to find out.
I remember not seeing anyone on the way home. Not anyone that I didn’t know, but no one at all. Stalls had been abandoned at the market, fruit and bits were strewn over the ground. I had an urge to go pick up the bits, but I wasn’t eager to find out what would happen if I did.
I remember seeing a doll on the ground. We were walking towards it. My mother stepped over it without breaking stride. If anything, she started walking faster. I stopped to pick up the doll. It was one of a well known unicorn: Sweetie Belle.
I remember who it belonged to -- a certain, special filly named Robin. Back then, she was just a filly, nothing more. It didn’t seem the same as talking to my mom, though. I was comfortable talking to my mom, but not her. We always caught ourselves staring at each other, and she would laugh at me, and I’d get embarrassed, and I’d leave. I always came back to her though. I was never embarrassed to the point where I didn’t want to talk to her. I enjoyed our conversations, and I liked the way she laughed, yet I didn’t like the way I felt around her.
I remember that I was so confused…
I remember running to catch up to my mom.
I remember feeling upset that my mom didn’t stop, but happy that my friend did.
I remember finally entering the house. Mom said that Dad was in the basement, and that we were going to join him. I was told that I wasn’t supposed to go into the basement, but my mom said that this time was different.
I remember seeing the door to the basement that first time. It was large, very large. Maybe about four, maybe five ponies tall. It was shaped like a gear, and there was a painted on ‘75’. It looked new.
My mom went over to a table with many levers on it. I was too short to see what she was doing, but not too short to see smoke coming from the door. I would’ve expected it to open noisily, but it was instead a soft slide, like that of a refrigerator. It was unnerving.
I remember seeing Robin, next to her parents, huddled against her mom and crying her eyes out. My friend had rushed towards his parents, my mom towards my father, and I towards her. I didn’t want to drop her doll, so I nudged her with my muzzle. She saw me and began to cry even more before she sat back on her haunches and wrapped her arms around the back of my neck. She pulled me down awkwardly before she sobbed softly into my mane.
I remember my mom pulling me away. She explained that place to me. It was called a Stable, a refuge in case of… something. She didn’t tell me what as we walked together. She pointed out some places to me, although each one looked the same. Each separate building, or maybe room was a more apt description, was made of metal. It was all dull, grey, unmarked, unpainted metal. The doors on the room were also metal. Most of them had huge wheels on them, like a ship’s steering wheel. Others were larger, and flat, each with a box with a few glowing buttons to the side of them. One undistinguished door, she said, was the home of my friend. Another was apparently Robin’s home. Not far from the door that lead to science lab was our home.
I remember how odd that sounded. Weren’t we in our home? This was just the basement.
“No,” said my mother. “This is our home now.”
“What about the outside? Can I go back?”
I remember seeing her cry before she opened the door to our new home.
My friend stirred in his sleep. It must’ve been something I did. I was shaking… violently. My memories were even more painful than the new world around me.
The noises I had been familiar with were still there. Waves lapped against the lake’s shore, the insects that were still awake were buzzing around lazily, and the shouts of sleepless ponies could be heard.
Each sound was new, though.
The lapping of the waves was a painful reminder that the water was terrible now. Even Manehatten couldn’t beat the smell of decay from whatever had died in there after being desperate enough to try and drink it.
The insects buzzed lazily, but not lazily as if they were content. The buzzing was a pathetic drone, one that creatures would only make while near death. They buzzed in an effort to find a slightly nicer patch of horror to spend their last minutes on.
The shout of each sleepless pony was cause for terror. You could never be quite sure what kind of pony was shouting, but the voices were always accompanied by gunshot. We were in fact, alone. The Stable that we knew was gone, the ponies that we knew were gone, the best times of our lives were gone.
I could still see Chance through my tears. It was strange, how easily my friend could sleep. With what happened, I would have expected him to be pacing around. But with how he was acting, I couldn’t expect anything else. He slept as if nothing bothered him.
I didn’t want to stay awake. I didn’t want to fall asleep.
I couldn’t fight it though.
I remember fighting to stay awake. I couldn’t be sure why. Nightmares? I was already in one. Dreams? No, anything but good dreams. Luna wouldn’t be that cruel to send me happy thoughts, only for me to wake up in this Goddess forsaken Wasteland.
Was I afraid to die?
…
Yes, and no.
This Wasteland would be an awful place to die in, and the number of ways I possibly could were creeping into my mind. I couldn’t force any happy memories to the surface. My life flashed before me multiple times as I cried for how much I had died already.
I remember wanting to scream as the darkness finally got hold of me.
“SURPRISE!”
Lights flashed on so quickly that I had to move my hoof to my face.
“You turned the lights on too fast! You blinded the poor kid!”
I blinked away an afterimage and looked around. I was in a room of the Stable, one that could be considered a banquet hall. It was decorated for my tenth birthday. There were games and decorations and lots of other ponies, though. This was a party! I’d never had a birthday party before! Maybe a few friends over to spend more time with than normally, and a choice present of mostly practical quality, and sometimes a piece of cake, but never a full-blown party!
I was excited of course. Everyone knew that when you turned ten in the Stable, you were given a PipBuck. It was a chunky, complex, piece of metal with lights and fancy spells that everypony wanted. It was just a cutie mark away from the transformation from colt/filly to full grown buck/mare.
Everyone I knew was there (and remember, we were a small town, living in my basement. Any excuse to not know who was there would be a bad one, and terribly transparent). Of course my mom and dad were there, and they invited everyone they knew. My parents knew everyone, so everyone was there.
My friend Chance, new friends I had made, Robin, the Overmare, the Stable's scientists, chefs, doctors, etc. You name them, they're there (and it's quite possible they were within reach). The two PipBuck Technicians were there too, making minor adjustments to the one I would shortly receive.
The Overmare, our omnipotent and always kind leader -- or so my mom told me -- came over to talk to me. This was right before Robin would’ve spun me around to begin a game of ‘pin the tail on the pony’. I didn't want to talk to the Overmare! She was creepy! However, my parents were smiling encouragingly at me to follow her.
We sat down away from most of the noise. She looked down at me with brown eyes from behind a blonde mane. "Oh, Odd Job, you look so much like your mother!”
Well... Pale brown coats, dark brown manes and tails, and blue eyes. We did look alike. There were obvious gender differences though, and my mother had her cutie mark, whereas I was blank flanked. “No I don’t!”
“Yes you do!” She was speaking playfully. “And you shouldn’t be embarrassed about it. Your mother is a very important person. You know that don’t you?”
I knew my mom cared for the ponies of Stable Seventy-Five with a passion, and she was well respected because of it, but that wasn’t important, was it? She wasn’t something like a doctor, or an engineer, something that people needed. She was… a commodity? She was something that people wanted. My blank stare must have appeared to be understanding. The Overmare didn’t give me enough time to gather my thoughts before she spoke again.
“She’s a generous pony, she is. Something that the future needs… I wanted to talk about your future.”
“I’m only ten.”
“I was only twelve when I became the Overmare.”
“That’s an inherited position. You had no choice.”
“That may be true, but it was never too early, hmm? The young are the hope of the future. Hasn’t your mother told you that before?”
Before I could say ‘no’, The Overmare turned to see the PipBuck Technicians, Mr. ‘Monkey’ Wrench and Mr. Phillips, walking towards us. She gave them a nice smile and they handed her the PipBuck and the key to it. Someone in the room gave a loud shush, and everyone walked their way towards us. My mother was on the verge of tears, happy ones, though. She could be so emotional. My father walked towards me too, nudging me and giving me a wide smile.
The Overmare gave a polite cough before levitating the PipBuck in front of me. “Odd Job, as Overmare of Stable Seventy-Five, it is my pleasure to award you with your very own PipBuck.”
I lifted my left forehoof to her, and after she strapped it on, she turned the key. The clicking noise caused everybody to cheer.
Robin and Chance ran up to me and gave me a hug before scampering away at the sounds of their parents’ voices. I couldn’t help but smile.
“Hey, son.” My dad leaned over my shoulder and pointed at the PipBuck. “Hit that button, why don’t you?”
As I searched for the correct button to hit, I accidentally scrolled through some sort of inventory sorter. It revealed that I had a bobby pin -- okay, two pins -- hidden in my mane. Quickly, I switched to something else that showed a basic pony picture, naming off each limb. It counted my chest as a limb, which was strange. My dad reached across and hit the correct button, and my mom quieted everyone down again as my PipBuck started to play music.
"Happy Birthday to you…”
Slowly, the crowd joined in.
“Happy Birthday to you…”
My friends, lead by Robin, sang too.
“Happy Birthday, Dear Odd Job…”
Even Chance joined in.
“Happy Birthday to you…”
I resisted the urge to blink as Chance shined a light into my eyes.
He set the tool down and then turned to his father, shrugging. “He seems fine to me.”
I was in the infirmary. Celestia, I hated this place. Always had that smell, which I was told was bone marrow. Even without regular amputations, this place managed to smell like bone marrow? Unfortunately, the smell, and whatever problem you had, weren’t the only things one could suffer from in the infirmary. It was terribly boring. Not like the plain, dull metal of the rest of the Stable boring, but the kind where you just had to sit there and notice that it was just plain, dull metal boring.
How had I ended up there? Well… let’s say I don’t have the best of luck. And when having to use the only flight of stairs in the entire Stable, my luck reared its ugly head. That ugly mug probably sneered at me as I fell from the top to the bottom. My head hurt, my chest hurt, and my leg hurt, and I was currently being checked for all three.
“Good news!” Said Chance, scribbling something down on a clipboard. “No concussion!”
“Yay…”
Chance’s father, who was walking towards a cork board on the other side of the room, took the opportunity to punch my right side, which was the side that hurt the most. I couldn’t even tell where he hit me. All I knew was that it hurt more than it already did, coincidentally when he passed by me and chuckled.
“Here’s some more good news.” He stopped talking for a moment and levitated some documents around before pinning them to the board. “No broken bones! You’ve got, well, you had some fractures, but we took care of those before you woke up.”
“It still hurts…”
Another sharp pain, another chuckle.
“Get over it, you big baby.” Before he walked out the door, he nodded to Chance, who nodded back.
Chance proceeded to find a brace and a syringe. He urged me (without punching me) to put the brace on while he walked over to my side. I’m pretty sure he waited until the exact moment I went to tighten the straps to inject me with whatever was in the syringe.
Before I could say anything, he explained. “It’s a weak painkiller.”
“Weak painkiller my flank! I can’t feel anything anymore!” Well, it still hurt a bit from where his dad punched me, but the punches were all I could feel. I would’ve wobbled my braced leg to emphasize that, but not only was it not possible, it would probably have been a bad idea. “So I can go now?”
“Yeah, you can go.”
I headed towards home. The brace was awkward to walk with, but not for very long. In fact, in the few steps I’d taken, I’d already gotten used to it, just in time for Chance to grab hold of me with his magic and turn me around.
“And where do you think you’re going?”
“Home?”
He gave me a very sarcastic, half-lidded stare, which I returned before walking away again. And again, he turned me around with his magic.
“What?!”
“Don’t you have something you need to do?”
“I need to go lie down. I don’t need to go take some stupid test.”
“Now come on, Odd, everyone in the Stable has to take the C.A.T. Everyone. And everyone needs to do it today.”
“Why can’t I take it, say, when my leg is better?”
“Why can’t you take it, say, the way your leg is now?” He turned to walk towards the testing area, keeping a levitation field around me. “You’re still walking, you’re not having any sort of reaction to anything, and, what if you had a job to do? Would you let your perfectly okay leg get in the way of that?”
“Taking the C.A.T. isn’t my job.” I halted and turned to go away again, only to have Chance’s magic drag me away.
Persistence! Damn other persistent ponies!
He stopped dragging me about halfway to the testing room, when both of us heard something.
“Leave. Me. Alone, Snap!”
“Why don’t you make me, Robin?”
“Yeah, why don’t you make him?”
Snap, Ginger Snap, was the Stable’s resident asshole. He wasn’t the sarcastic ass that Chance’s father was, but the dominant, unapologetic asshole that only he could be. The uncreative voice accompanying him would be that of Soda Pop, and that meant that Static, or as we called him, Crackle, would not be very far away.
Chance sighed heavily as I made my way towards the three. The first we met was Crackle. He was staring vacantly out into space from the hallway he was guarding. Snap and Pop were behind him, the former pinning Robin to the wall.
“Get out of the way, Crackle,” we said together.
He chuckled. “Hey, Snap, we got another one.”
“Well, if it isn’t Hoof-Job.” Pop and Crackle chuckled at that. Pop took Snap's place as Snap walked towards me and gave me a shove, sending me to the floor.
I was glaring daggers at him. I didn't care that he had hit me, but that he was harassing her. “Get away from her," I growled.
“Pfft. Yeah right, what are you gonna do, pinch me?” He went back to Robin, pinning her against the wall, mostly with his hips. He moved his muzzle close to hers. “Don’t pay attention to those colt-cuddlers, baby.”
Robin struggled a bit, but was unable to move him. “Get away from me, you pervert!”
Snap grinned and slapped her, still pinning her against the wall. “Feisty, aren’t you? How about you put some of that spunk to a… better use?”
I got back up and tapped the buck on the shoulder, leaving him enough time to turn his head to me before back-hoofing him, PipBuck first. Snap, indeed. Something in his face just took after his name as he fell to the floor, writhing in pain.
DAMN, that felt good.
My satisfaction was short lived as Pop made his way towards Robin, once again pinning her to the wall. She still wasn’t strong enough to push him away, but with a hindleg that was perfectly placed, she didn’t have to. He ran away screaming.
Crackle looked stupefied (didn’t he always?). He bent down and grabbed a knife from one of his barding’s pockets. He snorted, stomped, and started charging towards us. I turned to help Robin along before we heard a thud on the ground. Crackle had fallen and was doing a magnificent job of acting like someone who had just received anesthesia while Chance kicked the knife away.
That left only Snap.
“You son of a bitch!” Snap spat a broken tooth and a nice spray of blood onto the floor. “My father will hear about this!”
“Your father’s not going to hear about this, if you know what’s good for you,” Chance said. “I think self-defense is a much better charge than assault on a medical patient and sexual harassment.”
“And I could easily turn that into attempted rape,” Robin chimed in.
That seemed to shut Snap up, and he walked into the C.A.T. testing room, shooting all three of us, especially me, a dirty look.
Robin turned to hug me. “Thank you so much, Odd! I wish I knew more bucks like you.”
Wait... What?
I might have actually deflated. What did she mean by that? Did she like me? Wasn't I enough like me?
That thought plagued me as Snap, Robin and I took our seats. Chance, having already taken the C.A.T. (I didn’t mention his standard medic cutie mark yet, did I? That red cross? Well, he has one.), was taking Crackle away. I wasn’t sure if he was headed for the infirmary or the Overmare’s Office, but I was hoping for the latter. He did draw a knife on us…
“Alright kids. Settle down, settle down.” Our teacher, Mr. Ed, trotted over to the front of the class. He scanned the entire room to make sure we were listening before he spoke again. “So, you’re all here to take the C.A.T. Trust me, it's as simple as that. But, since ponies only gain their cutie marks through experience, you won’t just be sitting there and checking boxes.” He walked back over to his desk and touched something, causing the wall in front of us to hiss and slide into the ceiling, revealing eight doors. “Pick a door, any door! They’re all the same test, I assure you!”
We stood there for a second as Mr. Ed touched his desk again. A few seconds later, he did so again, and again, before he finally slammed his hoof down, causing each door to start sliding open. “Who knows? Maybe one of you will be able to fix this thing when you’re done!”
We each took our place as the doors slid open. Robin looked back at our teacher. “So… do we just go? Or… what exactly do we do?”
“Just go. The test will start once you go far enough inside. Oh, and don’t worry, the doors won’t close on you.” He shouted, trying to catch the attention of a few ponies who’d already advanced. “You only have to go far enough to get your cutie mark!”
I entered my door, wary of how certain Mr. Ed was of us obtaining our cutie mark. Surely this test couldn’t make us try our hoof at everything.
Could it?
The first room was maybe fifteen feet wide by fifteen feet long. Off to the side were were some shelves with various tools on them, but the only thing of note was a glowing terminal situated to the side of the door before me. I walked towards it.
It read: “Your dad is stuck behind this door! How are you going to get him out?”
The cursor at the bottom blinked at me as I thought. I looked at some of the tools. Wrenches, blowtorches, screwdrivers. I could pick the lock, possibly. Seeing nothing easier with which to open the door, I pulled a bobby pin out of my mane and a screwdriver from the shelf and got to work.
I really should start carrying around my own screwdriver. Maybe they wouldn’t notice if I snuck out with this--
There was a bang on the door that I could only attribute to as a gunshot. Sure, I didn’t know what one sounded like, but I knew that they were loud. And this one was loud enough to cause me to jump backwards -- snapping my pin in the process -- crash against one shelf, and cause it to land awkwardly on top of me.
I gave my award-winning half-lidded sarcastic stare to no one in particular before working my way out from underneath the shelf. Thankfully, I succeeded, but the shelf fell the rest of the way and took out the other, causing something to shoot out at the terminal and cover it in paint, while also managing to crack the screen and turn it off.
Celestia, please banish the person who made this to the moon.
The gunshot noise returned in three quick bursts, accompanied by a metallic voice. “Please, son, open the door.”
“If only I knew how…” I muttered. My pin had broken, and, lucky me, I wasn’t able to get it out. I slammed my head against the door before turning to the terminal and waiting for it to power back up.
I could see that the screen had turned back on, so I rubbed some of the paint away to see a few new options on it.
- C.A.T. simulation in progress. 0% complete.
- End C.A.T. simulation?
- Unlock test door.
Surely enough, one click later, the door’s tumblers turned and it slid open. The pony robot on the other side thanked me for unlocking the door, but went to sit in a corner of the room he’d been wanting me to get him out of. If that thing had really been my father, I would’ve just switched its high blood pressure medication with sugar pills.
There was another terminal near the next door. Unfortunately, it looked to be fizzing out. I gave it a strong tap, which caused it to fizz out completely.
“Son? Stop messing with that terminal and come over here.”
I walked closer to the robot and took a seat. All the while, ruby-red eyes stared me down. It was a well-built robot, if not a terribly disturbing one. Aside from the eyes, the metal skin, and the voice, it looked like a real pony.
A few moments and several mechanical whirrs later, a pistol came out of the robot’s hoof. “I need you to take this and *BZZZT*… and… and …and…” I tapped the robot on the head, and he continued. “Kill Norm. He’s the pony that will come through the door.”
“What? Why, exactly, do you need me to kill him?”
“Because I want you to.”
What better reason than that? “I don’t even know how to use a gun… Can’t you two just talk it out?”
I could literally hear the cogs in his head turning. The pistol slipped back inside of his hoof just in time for the next door to slide open, revealing another robot pony whom I assumed was Norm.
“Howdy, neighbor!”
“Hey, Norm! Whatcha been up to?”
Their hooves touched and began to shake up and down, slowing before freezing completely. I didn’t even bother wondering about why this was part of the test. I simply went through the now-open door and to the next terminal, only to find out that the screen was dead. I could hear a strange, metallic sniffing noise from behind me, and sure enough, another robot -- this one colt-sized -- was there.
“Oh, come on, kid. Don’t cry…”
“But I did something bad. *sniff* I don’t want to get in trouble.”
“You know, my parents say that talking about what you’ve done makes you feel better. Just tell me what’s wrong. I won’t punish you or anything.”
Another sniff. “Really?” I nodded, and the robot child gave a raspy, metallic sigh. “Okay. Well, I took the batteries out of that terminal, and now you can’t finish the test.”
“Could I have the batteries? You won’t get in trouble if you give them to me.”
“Oh yeah! That makes perfect sense!” He lifted his hoof up towards me, the front of it sliding back, revealing the terminal’s batteries. I held them with my teeth, carefully making sure that my tongue didn’t touch both ends. “I feel so much better now!” This robot froze while standing up, looking like he was cheering.
Again, I didn’t even bother.
I instead went up to the terminal and looked it over. There was a diagram of battery placement inside of an indent on the bottom. The cover wasn’t even required, as the terminal flared to life as soon as the batteries clicked in. Two items flashed on the screen: one that displayed my progress (39% complete), and the other that opened the next door. I clicked the second.
Yet another robot pony was there, who barged out of the door and nearly tackled me to the ground. “Doctor, doctor! I’m not sure what this is, but I think it’s spreading!”
Another damn robot! This one a hypochondriac. Honestly, it can get a virus, but that’s not even close to-- Oh… Maybe that glowing red something moving up its leg was the ‘infection’.
Still slightly skeptical, I walked over to the room’s terminal.
WARNING: UNKNOWN INFECTION SPREADING QUICKLY (20% INFECTED)
- Medicate infected area.
- Restrain the patient and observe the infection spread.
- Remove the infected area with a precision laser.
I had no idea what kind of sadist would pick the second option. It was quite the toss up between one and three. I didn’t know what to medicate a real pony with, much less a robot pony. But there was a rather laser-y looking item on the shelf next to me. I grasped it with my teeth, and the grip conformed to my mouth’s shape quite quickly. Wasting no time, I moved over to the robot and hit a button. The laser turned on instantly, and the red beam burned a hole through the leg, (yet somehow, it neglected to burn the floor). I gave a little shake and the leg came off completely, causing the pony to fall to the floor. Even though I knew this was a robot, I couldn’t help but shudder when he fell over and thanked me, regardless of his severed leg spewing something black over the floor. I kept the laser and moved onto the next door.
The door slid open. In the next room, there was yet another robot pony, set up behind a stall with a bunch of wares scattered about. His head turned to look at me as I moved towards the door.
“It’s locked.”
“Of course it is!” I slammed my head against the door. “I don’t suppose you have anything that can help me?”
There was a faint whirring noise before the robot spoke again. “Why don’t you take a look at my wares?”
“Okay...” I set my laser (for lack of a better word) gun on the table as I searched through his stock. There were more batteries, but there wasn’t a terminal around to put them in. He had knives too. I shuddered. Why would a robot need knives? There were some more things that seemed rather trivial: lunchboxes, small books, bottle caps, surgical tubing, keys--
Wait a second.
I turned to look at the door. With a fair bit of squinting, I could discern a keyhole. How primitive, compared to the rest of the items around here.
“How much for the keys?”
The robot’s head moved down and cocked to the side as a red wave of light moved back and forth over the table. More whirring ensued before his hoof peeled away, revealing five sets of pincers (Dear Celestia, that was creepy). He slowly, and I mean slowly, to the point where I wished that I had a time-traveling cutie mark, picked up each key in turn.
“Which one would you like?”
“Which one opens that door?”
“I am not obligated to tell y-- I am not sure.”
“… All five, then?”
“That will be,” more whirring. “One hundred bits.”
It was like the robot punched me in the gut. I didn't know anybody that could spare a hundred bits for keys! I could afford only one key! I could try to sell the keys back, but I’d be lucky to get back every bit I spent.
Dumb economics.
I could’ve bartered for the keys with my laser, but with my luck, I’d need it again. I looked around, and saw something behind the robot. It looked like a safe.
However, I had no more bobby pins. Then there was only one other option.
“Oh my! Someone is trying to pick the lock on your safe!”
“Hey! Stop that!” The robot’s head turned a complete 180 (Luna-tier creepiness achieved!) and he was distracted for long enough for me to swipe three of the keys.
He turned back to me. “It seems that I scared him off. Thank you for the warning. Can I offer you a discount on these...“ He cocked his head again, the wave of light moving across his hoof. “Two keys? Only fifteen bits!”
“No, thank you.” I took my keys to the door before sitting down and trying all three.
First key? Nope.
Second? Nope.
Third? Of course; third time’s the charm.
I thought that the regular robot ponies were something, but somehow they integrated a lab coat design and a spiky white mane into the next robot pony. It was quite something. He was surrounded by a bunch of bubbling, glowing liquids and various colored smokes. Papers were strewn about with some technical looking drawings, but I couldn’t observe them any more closely before the robot’s hoof peeled back. It was holding something that looked like my laser glued together with a small terminal screen and a toaster.
“Do you mind if I put my quantum harmonizer in your photonic resonation chamber?”
“Yes, I mind!” That definitely sounded like something I didn’t want to happen.
“But, child, are you aware the by putting my quantum harmonizer and your photonic resonation chamber together that we will be able to create a parabolic destabilization of the fission singularity, therefore--“
I could still hear the scientist talking about things I’d never understand as I closed the door behind me.
That was my sixth room, and this would be my seventh. There was a terminal off to the side again with a single line of text.
- Cutie Mark Aptitude Test in progress: 75% Complete
And there was a wall.
And there was a hole in the wall.
And there was nothing else.
Now, by nothing else, I mean that I couldn’t see past the hole. Why? It was where the wall met the floor, and it was only about a pencil’s size. I got down on the floor and tried to peer through the hole, unsuccessfully I might add, as I saw nothing but darkness.
Maybe the test creators had walls that deployed when you finally had your cutie mark? A quick turn (in a far too giddy schoolfilly way) was enough to inform me that neither could be true.
So I knocked on the wall. I didn't get any sort of response.
Well… I had nothing better to do…
There was a lot of sizzling, grinding and popping as I carved out a buck-sized hole from the wall, courtesy of my laser gun. With a hefty shove, the section popped out and I entered a dark room. Only a terminal and the desk it sat on were there.
It had a question.
>From your point of view, who is the most important pony, or group?
- Yourself
- Him/Herself
- Themselves
- The Overmare
Answers one and four were obvious ‘NO’s. The Overmare was definitely not the most important pony in the Stable. If she was gone, the Stable would still stand, but with anyone else gone, it would start falling apart. I, at the moment, was the only pony the Stable could afford to lose, so I wasn’t the most important. As for the last two options, I believed that the needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few. I selected ‘Themselves’.
>CONGRATULATIONS! You have completed the C.A.T.! Please talk to your instructor regarding any questions you might have.
Was that it? A few rooms, and I was supposed to have my cutie mark? I turned to check and see if it was there.
It wasn’t. There just wasn’t anything there. There wasn’t anything on the other side, either.
I hung my head and walked back through the test rooms, seeing robots about as dead as I felt.
I could feel them staring at me as I came back into the room. There were whispers... ‘Did he finish the test?’, ‘Why doesn’t he have his cutie mark? The rest of us did...’, ‘Maybe he’s not really a pony.’
I had to sit there and listen as Mr. Ed listed off each of the other ponies’ new jobs. When I got to him, he gasped audibly.
“I finished the test,” I choked out. “I did everything. It even told me at the end that I completed it, but... I just don’t know what went wrong.”
He pushed some air out of his mouth, causing his cheeks to flop. “I have no idea what this is supposed to mean.”
I stood there for a few seconds in silence.
“What do I do now?”
He sighed heavily and motioned for me to leave. I was in the way of the other, cutie marked, ponies. “I’m really not sure what to think about it. You’re going to have to go talk to the Overmare.”
That didn’t sound good at all...
I sighed and made for the door. Their whispers and stares hurt. They were all acting like I was a freak--
“Odd! Odd Job!” Robin was running towards me with a huge smile on her face. She gave a little hop into the air and skidded a short distance on the floor towards me, spinning at the last second to nearly shove her flank in my face. “I finally got my cutie mark! Isn’t it great?”
“Yes, it’s very nice.” I hadn’t even bothered to look.
“Odd, is there something wro--” She saw it. She saw... Nothing. “You... You didn’t get your cutie mark?”
I looked up at her. She looked... Afraid. Confused, even. She had nothing to say to me.
Neither did I as she walked away.
I remember returning to my mother and father at home. Both of them looked shocked. Both of them said that they understood that I was upset. They tried consoling me, but it didn’t work. I knew that they were just trying to cheer me up, but that I knew just made it impossible for them to do so.
I remember crawling over to my bed.
I remember crying myself asleep.
I went to The Overmare's Office the next day. She was just as confused about my blank flank as I was (and she looked just as horrified as everyone else).
"Well, Odd Job, your situation is quite unique. We’ve never had a single, adult, pony come through the C.A.T. without a cutie mark.”
As she said 'here', she levitated a book out of and onto her desk. 'Cutie Marks and Their Celestial Meaning' by Q. T. Marcs.
"Now, most cutie marks have broader meanings than they seem to. For example," The pages flipped magically, stopping at an image of a slightly curled scroll. "A scroll could suggest several affinities: accounting, law, writing, the list goes on. There are a few ponies with unique marks, such as Celestia or Luna." She shut the book and returned it to its drawer. "If you have a cutie mark, and it just happens to match the color of your flank, that would just be... Well, odd. Did you notice a flash or some sort of noise when you finished the test?”
“Other than the screen telling me that I was done? No.”
“Well, as Overmare of Stable Seventy-Five, I can’t allow such a thing to happen.” She walked closer to me and wrapped a hoof around my shoulder. “I’ll make sure you get a cutie mark, Odd. But while you don’t have one, just remember that it’s not a bad thing. Being blank-flanked just means that you have the opportunity to do whatever you want.”
"But that’s not how the Stable works...”
"That may be true, but just because you don’t have a cutie mark doesn’t mean you’re not good at anything. You’ll still have a job to do; you'll just do a little of everything."
That day, she gave me hope. I went into the test believing it was a fluke, anyway. Maybe, just maybe, working outside of a test would get me my cutie mark.
Three years later, there I stood in the PipBuck Technician Center, still as blank-flanked as I was before..
I had caught a bunch of shit for being a blank flank. Ponies like Snap, Crackle, and Pop never gave up a chance to rub it in my face. Other ponies never looked at me normally. And I’d heard it all: spy, alien, monster...
Working as the Overmare suggested hadn’t helped at all, and I was getting sick of it. I was just given odd jobs like fixing faucets or cleaning the floors. I had literally done every job in the Stable by now, even the really obscure ones. I helped Chance’s father with a pregnancy at one time. At another, I was sent into the Stable’s reactor core to replace a fuel cell. Someone sent me to fix a toaster, even. A toaster! I didn’t even know that the ones the Stable had could break! But you know what sucked the most? Those obscure jobs were only one-time things. They were interesting until the exact point I was called to the Overmare’s office and forced to accept another job that someone else was too lazy to do.
That’s why I was in the PipBuck Technician Center. Mr. Phillips had called in ‘sick’. Chance had ever so casually told me over breakfast that not only had Mr. Phillips taken the time to go get checked out at the clinic, but he had also taken the time to eat breakfast with Chance’s family, play cards with Chance’s father, prove that he wasn’t sick at all, and walk all the way back to his room.
Fuck, fuck, fuck my life.
Business was incredibly slow today. It proved true that the heavy wrist computers we were given were near indestructible. I flipped one more time through a copy of Dean’s Electronics (noticing the amount of corrections I’d made).
My PipBuck beeped for my shift to be over. I gathered up my tools, hung the ‘Out to Lunch’ sign on the door, and headed for the only place in the Stable to get food -- Haystack’s
This was probably the only thing I loved about the Stable. Haystack’s was the only place in the Stable that had more than the occasional photograph to interrupt the standard matte grey. Magical lights in all colors, foals' crayon drawings, and red cushioned benches and seats made it look beautiful. The smell of fruits, grains, and vegetables being cooked wafted through the air.. Ponies gathered here to laugh and share stories and...
And eat their marefriend’s face off.
Robin was at a table with Snap, who had apparently forgotten all about his food in favor of her.. She pulled away from him for long enough to smile and wave happily at me, urging me to join them.
...
I skulked the rest of the way to a bar seat.
"Hey, Shorty! Single hayfry, extra crispy!"
Spat, the owner of that voice, slammed his hooves down hard enough to shake me of my depressed stupor, but only for a moment.
"You look down, partner!"
Duh.
"Something I can help you with?"
No.
"You going to say anything?"
I really don't want to.
"Oh, look at Snap! Damn! I didn't know you could do that!"
I lunged at him from across the counter, but he backed up just enough to be out of reach. "Shut. The. FUCK. Up, Spat!"
"Nnnope. I can’t afford to do that."
Even though the buck meant well, I had already killed him several times in my head. I crossed my hooves in front of me to prop my chin up. Spat's smile changed from one of confidence to one of uncertainty. "What makes you think that torturing me will make me feel better?"
"It shouldn't be torturing you. Besides! There are a few colts here that you could probably get together with--"
My glare turned his mouth to stone. Not only had I lived with the blank flank jokes, but everyone in the Stable still assumed that I liked stallions. It was just another way for them to alienate me.
Spat quickly retired into the kitchen, and someone else brought me my order of hayfries. They weren't anywhere close to crispy. … I wasn't hungry anyway. I still paid though.
You'll never guess what I did next.
Go on... Guess...
I went to the infirmary. Hopefully, the only thing Robin or Snap would go there for is if he got too overzealous and actually did eat her face. As if they would notice. Chance would be there, though. We could always bitch about the day together. That always made for good fun. Hell, even if Chance wasn't there, his father could probably do something. He was a doctor, after all.
So I watched the color fade, smelled the bone marrow replacing the food, and went from hearing laughter to nothing as I walked to the place in Stable Seventy-Five that I hated the most.
Chance's dad waved to me as I entered. "What are you here for, Odd?"
"Well, doc, everything kinda sucks."
"I don't have a pill for cynicism."
For that being Chance’s dad, that actually wasn’t bad. I didn’t find it funny, but it was an improvement. "Where's Chance?"
"He's in the Science Lab."
"Alright, see you."
Before I knew it, Chance was calling my name and waving at me from another part of the Science Lab. He had been discussing something sciencey with another pony, who then went off to examine two metal tubes that were being set up.
As I approached, he spoke first.
"You look down."
"Uhuh."
"Something I can help you with?"
Oh let's see. ... No, that's illegal... That isn't, but it's really bad... That's just plain wrong... I waved my hoof dismissively. "Nothing that I want you to get dragged into."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
That is what I came here for, wasn’t it? "... It's Robin."
He gave me a puzzled look. "What about her?"
"She's dating Snap--"
"So what? It's not like you--" His eyes went dead but he forced a smile. "Oh, wow. I didn't know you liked those kinds of ponies."
"Well... It’s just, I’ve liked her for a while, but after the C.A.T., everything--"
"Odd?"
I thought that the ponies you asked for advice were supposed to hear you out first... “What?”
"Snap is a buck."
"Yes, I know that."
"And his barn door doesn't swing that way."
...
I wanted to kick him. I wanted to hit him. I wanted to scream and yell and shout at him about all of the things in my life that weren’t fair. I wanted to just start over. I wanted to be judged by what I did, not by some bullshit rumor that some dumbass was spreading around. I wanted to go home.
I heard Chance calling after me, saying he was sorry for whatever he said that made me upset. I wanted to (but didn’t) say that if he was sorry, he wouldn’t have trusted the word of someone that didn’t even know me.
It wasn’t fair.
I burst through the door, eliciting nothing from either my mother or Snap’s mother as the prior consoled the latter. I didn’t care though, as I charged to my room and shoved the door shut.
Why was I crying? Someone... A few... A lot of ponies were calling me gay. I didn’t have my cutie mark. So what? I knew I wasn't gay. I knew that it wasn’t that big of a deal to be blank-flanked. I knew I shouldn't let it get to me... Snap was just an asshole. I didn’t care what he said. But Spat, Robin, and Chance saying the same just...
It was at this time that my mom walked in. She said nothing until she sat down next to me.
“Odd, is something wrong?”
No... “Yes,” I sobbed again. “Yes, something is wrong.”
She waited for me to speak. So did I.
“Is there something wrong with me?”
She snorted and started to giggle. “Odd, is this about your cutie mark? I can’t believe you still let ponies get to you that easily.”
My ears flattened and I stared sheepishly at the floor while she continued.
“Odd Job, you’re a good buck. You’re one of the smartest, nicest, all-around-best ponies I know. If your friends can’t see that past the fact that you don’t have a cutie mark, you should find some new friends.” She patted my back for a few seconds and then went back to Snap’s mom.
That was probably the worst possible pep-talk I'd ever received...
I sat on my bed, moping for who knew how long, until I heard a steady *thump*, *thump*, *thump* coming from the wall of my house that was connected to Robin’s. So I went to go mope downstairs. I could still hear the thumping. I threw myself onto the couch and turned the radio on to drown out the noise. A guitar played in the background for a few seconds, and it seemed like a calm start to a good song.
Am I better off dead?
Am I better off a quitter?
They say I’m better off now
Then I ever was with her--
…
I turned the radio off and chucked it across the room, where it cracked apart.
I remember feeling bitter for the rest of the night.
I reported to the Overmare’s office the next day to receive my assignment.
She was humming happily while shifting some papers around before she saw me. “Well, hello, Odd J--!”
Then she saw me.
I knew how I looked -- haunted, sad, and lethargic. It was pathetic really, that I thought that my problems were terrible. I came to the realization the day before that there were ponies worse off than me, but that only made me feel worse as I berated myself for nearly everything I had thought before.
She blinked once or twice before silently offering me a piece of paper. It said something about a Stable-Tec division called Cryo-Tec... There was a tagline repeated throughout the flier: ‘A brighter future.’
The rest of the paper told me that I’d been recommended to take place in the project by my peers, who believed that my talents were best suited for an experiment in which I would be sent to the future to help the ‘Stable 75 of tomorrow’.
It sounded ridiculous. Were I in any other mood at the moment, I would have laughed in the Overmare’s face and walked away. But today... Today, I wanted exactly that. I wanted to escape from the Stable. I wanted to escape from the ponies that were harassing me. It would be so easy. It would be a way out...
I thanked the Overmare and went down the hall to the Science Lab, where Chance was once again looking at the metal tubes that had been built. His father and my parents were off by themselves, conversing in hushed tones. Only Chance turned to greet me.
“Odd, you look terrible!”
Thanks. “I’m okay.”
He stared at me for a while as if he didn’t believe me.
I watched some science and repair ponies moving around between the tubes. Each had a transparent sliding panel in the front and what looked like an upright couch inside. Both were stamped with a Stable-Tec logo, and beneath that, slanted text that read Cryo-Tec. Funny... They didn’t look like what I expected. Shouldn’t there have been some wibbly-wobbly time machine thingy? Where were the funny noises and flashy lights?
One pony in a lab coat came up to Chance and I, interrupting my internal rant and handing us two forms. She told us to sign in so many places that my head started to spin, but we did as asked. She took the forms and ran away.
My parents came up to me. They told me that they were proud of me. They told me that I would undoubtedly create a brighter future. My mom was crying.
“Mom?” I leaned in towards her, but she shied away. “Are you going to be okay?”
She sniffed and wiped away some tears. “Yes, I’ll be okay... But that doesn’t mean I won’t miss you.”
I leaned in further and nuzzled her. “I’ll miss you, too.”
“Just be careful, son,” said my dad.
I nodded.
Monkey Wrench came up to us and took off our PipBucks. He wished us good luck as well.
I remember lazily taking my place inside of one metal tube as Chance took the other.
I remember feeling cold until a needle injected me with something.
I remember falling asleep…
Side Note: Level Up
New Perk: What is lost...: You almost ran out of hope, but now you have something to live forward to. Your experiences have taught you greatly. +1 to Endurance.