Twilight stood frozen in shock. She considered the possibility that this might be a dream again and kicked herself lightly. Nope. This was real. Twilight was bright red by this stage and desperately thought of something to say. “Uhhh hey, Derpy, who… what’s goin’ down?”
“I don’t know, what?”
Twilight cringed inwardly as she realized the second meaning of her question. It was a stretch, and you’d have to be a real gutterbrain to make the leap, so she considered herself safe. Also she silently applauded herself for sounding so “street” as ponies say. Her composure almost regained she spoke more comfortably.
“Oh nothing, just uh, well yes nothing.”
Derpy was oblivious. “Well I don’t have mail for you today, but wanted to ask whether you could recommend any books about heterochromia?”
“I think I might have one, do you know anypony with it?”
“Well I recently bought a parrot, and I wanted to know whether the whole 2 different eye-colours thing could be relevant to his health.”
“I don’t think so, but it wouldn’t hurt to find out. Come in and I’ll see if I can find it.”
“Thanks Twi! Can I call you Twi?”
“Uhhm, yes.” This is so great, she thought, nicknames mean familiarity right?
Twilight located the book and levitated it over to where Derpy was standing, staring at all the books. “So many books…” she thought aloud. “Well it is a library.” Twilight responded. “So uhh Derpy, I was kind of wondering…”
whatamIdoingwhatamIsayingwhatisthis
“Yeah Twi?”
“If you wanted to…”
shutupdontdothisyouareinunfamiliarterritorySparkle
“Uh huh?”
“Come with me to Pinkie Pie’s party this weekend?”
whathaveyoudoneTwilightthereisn’tevenaparty
“Sure! Pinkie has the best parties in town! So I’m your plus one?”
“Yeah… something like that.”
“Great! I’d love to go with you, Twi!”
“Fun, so uhm I don’t know the details yet, but I think it’s this Saturday.”
welldoneidiotnowyouhavetogetPinkietothrowapartyintwodaystime
“Cool, I’ll just go ask Pinkie about it.”
“No wait don’t! Uhh, I’ll just tell you tomorrow, you can come see me again in the morning on your mail route.”
“Sweet! So I’ll see you tomorrow then?”
“Yeah, I’ll just go talk to Pinkie about the party. See you Derpy.”
“Bye Twi!”
Twilight closed the door behind her and threw herself on the couch. “That was possibly the stupidest thing you have ever done.” She spoke to herself. Despite the fact that she had just lied her way into a party that didn’t exist, (yet) she felt sort of proud that she had actually asked out a mare she liked. “Wait, do I like her?” She thought, “Well duh! I mean I did just ask her out…ish. I don’t think a party counts. Anyway, I have to go convince Pinkie to throw a party.” She chuckled as she realised that that certainly wasn’t the hardest thing to do.
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She quickly left the library and trotted off to Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie Pie was usually working this time of day, if you could call eating one cupcake for each one she sold working. Still Mr Cake certainly didn’t seem to mind; he probably liked to see a little bounce when Pinkie walked away. Slightly perverted tangent aside, Twilight reached Sugarcube Corner and entered with the hopes of turning her dumb idea into a party, surely there was nopony more qualified than Pinkie to do just that.
The bell above the door rang as Twilight entered and alerted Pinkie of the visitor’s presence. A big grin spread across Pinkie’s face as she saw her friend. “Hey Twilight! What are you doing here? Do you need muffins, cupcakes, pies, cakes or any other sort of baked deliciousness?” She was clearly happy to see her. “Uhh hey Pinkie, nothing like that today, I actually wanted to ask you a favour.” “Ooh! Let me guess, you want me to bake you a cake for a special occasion, wink!”
ohsweetCelestiasheknows
“Wait what? How do you even? No, I just wanted to ask you if you were going to host a party this weekend; and if you weren’t, to persuade you to do so.”
“But of course I will silly! I hadn’t planned on it, but a party this weekend sounds like the bestest idea ever! There’s gonna be punch, music and streamers and the whole thing is gonna be a blast!”
greatshedidn’taskwhy
“So why do you want to have a party this weekend? Besides the obvious fun we’re gonna have.”
damnyourstupidsupernaturalpowers
“No reason! Any excuse to party, right? Also could I bring a guest? If it’s not too much trouble…”
“Sure, this is a party for everypony! Who do you want to bring? Is it Colgate? I bet it’s her, she has this really great smile and she has a cool mane and…”
“No Pinkie, it’s Derpy Hooves, or Ditzy Doo, or whatever her real name is. She just seems kinda lonely and I think it would be a good idea for her to meet some of our friends.”
“Oh sure! I’ll invite Colgate anyway.”
“Okay, it’s your party… So Saturday? Around 7ish?”
“Perfect, I’ll get started on the preparations. What am I saying, I’ll just break out the party cannon! It’s such a blast at parties!”
“Indeed, thanks so much Pinkie. I knew I could count on you!”
“I would never turn down a party Twilight! I’m so super happy to have helped you out! So I’ll see you Saturday at 7 sharp, and don’t forget to bring Spike, even if it’s just for a few hours.”
“Great, I’ll see you then Pinkie. Thanks again.”
“Bye Twi!”
Twilight left the confectionary with a smile; she was so lucky to have such awesome friends.
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Back at the library Twilight found a book that seemed to fit her situation perfectly. Crushes, Dating and the Single Young Mare: Everything you wanted to know about dating but were afraid to ask.
Twilight had dismissed it as sensationalist stupidity at first, but then sadly admitted that she really needed all the help she could get.
-Introduction-
You are probably reading this because you need advice. You also probably have a crush on somepony, if you doubt whether or not that’s true; you need to ask yourself:
Does this pony make your heart beat faster?
Do your words run out around this pony?
Do you find yourself constantly thinking about this pony?
If you answered yes to one of these questions, you probably answered yes to all of them. You have a crush, and you would like to date this pony, wouldn’t you? Well this is just the book for you, together we’ll cover everything from dating etiquette to kissing to the happenings in the bedroom.
Twilight read on until the sun was far in the west, and the night started to creep in. She fell asleep with the book by the side of her bed and she dreamed of dating, kissing and happenings in the bedroom. All of this featuring her favourite grey pegasus with bubbles on her flank.