Early Autumn. A time of watery sunlight, yellowing leaves, misty mornings. Apples to be picked, stored, turned into crumbles, or used to make zap-apple jam.
September rolled on by and the year wended its way into October, as the last of the trees was picked bare and the Apple family at long last could take their well-earnt rest; it was the season for the beginnings of the ends of things.
In the months since Applejack had convinced her speak to doctor about her hallucinations and intrusive thoughts, the two of them had become very close, spending almost all their time together, whether that be at mealtimes, working in the fields, or visiting their other friends. During this time the alabaster Kirin had undergone a number of treatments, including taking daily mood-suppressant and anti-psychotic medications, group therapy (in which she was amazed to learn that her now good friend Pinkie Pie was suffering from the same illness), and one-to-one psychotherapy with Ponyville's resident psychiatrist, Doctor Maneroe. Though rather bewildering at first, this array of treatments did seem have helped.
Applejack, along with the whole of the Apple family, were delighted at this improvement, and encouraged Autumn Blaze to continue her course of medications and treatments. Slowly, they began to notice a change in Autumn's behaviour - though no longer quite as extremely energetic or chatty as before, she also seemed to have fewer 'down' days, and those she did have were less severe. She no longer seemed anxious about being harmed by the Voices, and although she still heard them, she had learnt to rationalise their existence, and no longer paid them any heed.
One morning in early October, she and Applejack were standing out on the front porch, enjoying watching the sun rise through the low-lying mist. The friendly, inviting scents of apples, varnished wood, and gentle woodsmoke from the remains of last night's bonfire filled the dawn air, and for a long while the two mares were content to enjoy each other's presence in companionable silence.
When the town clock away in the distance could be heard striking seven, Autumn sighed. She had made a decision, and there was no time better than the present to tell her closest friend.
"Applejack," she began, hesitantly. After the orange earth-pony indicated having heard by turning her head, she continued. "I've been thinking. Thinking a lot, in fact. There's a lot of things I've gone through, and done over the past few months, and I'll never regret having let you take me to see Doctor Haybert. But there are other things I have to do too."
She paused, and in that pause Applejack understood. "You're going back to your village, aren't you?"
Autumn Blaze nodded, slowly. No matter how much she'd thought about it, no matter how sure she was that it was the right decision, that she had to go back home some time, the idea had never felt quite real. And now, hearing Applejack speak those thoughts aloud, it seemed like such an odd thing to do.
But go she must. "Yes, AJ. I have to go back. It's not fair that I keep intruding on you and your family's life like this, especially after all you've done for me. There are things I must take care of back in my old village - I need to water my geraniums for one thing!"
Applejack gave a halfhearted chuckle, before becoming more serious. "Autumn, please don't go because you feel we think you should. We've all really enjoyed having you here! You've brought Big Mac out of his silence, given Granny Smith someone new to tell her unbelievable 'memories' to, and you've been such a good friend to Applebloom. And Ah. . .". Applejack broke off, unexpected - and surprising - emotions threatening to bring tears to her eyes. She swallowed before continuing. "Ah've grown to - Ah mean, Ah'm awfully fond of you, Autumn. You're a member of the family now, you know that. If you want to go, then it's alright, we understand. But please don't go because you think we want you to. You'd be welcome to stay forever, if you wanted. You're one of us, now."
So saying, she turned to face Autumn directly, looking her straight in the eye. The Kirin faltered, "Oh, Applejack. . . I know you all care about me, and I'm really touched that you consider me family. I don't have any family of my own and it's really nice to be part of yours. . . But something tells me that I have to go back. I don't know why, it just - oh, it's all so hard!"
"What's so hard, sugarcube?" Applejack inquired.
Autumn glanced away. "Oh, I don't - I don't know - I can't tell you! It's just - you - I just have to go!" She sat back against the wall of the farmhouse and buried her face in her hooves.
Applejack didn't understand; what could she not tell her? "Are you sure you can't tell me? You can tell me anything, you know that."
There was a long silence. Applejack could see that her friend was fighting to come to a decision, that she desperately wanted to tell Applejack what was wrong, why she felt she had to leave, but was afraid to do so. Eventually, as Applebloom could be heard clomping sleepily down the stairs in the house behind them, Autumn took a deep breath, sighing out slowly. Then she spoke.
"I have to go back to my village, Applejack. I can't stay here, because every day is both a joy and a torment, and I can't keep living like that. It's better that I go back to the Kirin, and focus on other things."
Confused, and more than a little concerned, the orange mare asked, "A torment? But why? I'm sorry if you don't feel we've looked after you well enough. . ."
She trailed off as Autumn shook her head in amusement. "No, AJ, it's not that. You've all been so good to me, and I could never repay your kindness. No, it's not that."
Again she lapsed into silence, and Applejack allowed her the time to compose her thoughts. After a minute or two, and as the sun finally broke out over the mist, she murmured: "Do you not know, Applejack? Do you not see why I must leave?"
Applejack shook her head, unfathoming. "Ah don't understand, Autumn. Why must you leave?"
Blinking back tears, Autumn smiled wanly. "Can you not guess? I love you, Applejack. I love you more than I could ever have thought possible. You're generous, and giving, and warm, and friendly, and funny, and clever, and oh, so, so kind - and you're a far better pony than I could ever deserve. No, please!" - she held up a hoof to forestall Applejack's reply - "I know what you're going to say: that you could never feel the same way about me as I do about you. It's alright, I understand. But you must see now why I can't stay?"
Applejack's heart felt like it had just leapt a thousand hooves into the air, and her stomach was doing double somersaults as she fought to keep her voice steady. "You - you love me?"
Looking almost ashamed, Autumn nodded slowly.
Applejack gasped. "But Ah love you! Ah love you, Autumn Blaze! Ah don't know when Ah first felt this way about you but Ah know, from the bottom of my beating heart, that Ah love you. And you can't go, not now. Please don't leave me!"
Staring into each others' eyes in amazement and sudden, unexpected bliss, the two mares blinked away happy tears. Autumn whispered, "Do you mean that? Do you really?"
"Ah do, sugarcube, as sure as the day is long." The farm pony broke off in uncertainty. "So. . . will you be staying?"
If the violence of hug Autumn gave her was anything to go by, she intended to do just that.
* * *
From the vantage point of an upstairs window, three pairs of eyes watched closely, and three pairs of ears listened intently. Granny Smith turned to Applebloom and Big Mac, both of whom were grinning madly, and grumbled, "Well, that sure took long enough!"