September 26th, 1000 Domina Solaria
Doug doesn’t glance up from his desk as a knock comes at the door. “Come in,” he flatly says, his pencil scratching against the many papers stacked on his desk. “Applejack need help with something?”
“No,” Pinkie Pie grunts out as she slips into Doug’s office. “She’s fine. She’s just got more apples to pick. Some days- Some days? Most days. Every day! Every day, it seems like all she does is pick apples. Even when she just picked a peck of Peck’s Pleasants!” Pinkie Pie huffs as she slams her rump onto the floor next to Doug, crossing her forelegs. Her normally unruly mane sags low, her curls almost straight.
“That sounds suspiciously like the work around here,” Doug replies neutrally. His eyes dart to the wrapped present on the desk, a quick glance to Pinkie Pie to check whether or not she has seen it yet. He seems in the clear. For now. He flips to the next page, dropping his pencil on top and sliding his chair so he is between Pinkie Pie and the present. He looks Pinkie Pie up and down, noting the glare in her eyes, the scowl on her muzzle, and the basket of invitations, still full, on her head. “So, what can I help with?”
“Well, I was just thinking about how much you said that you really enjoyed Gummy’s birthday party yesterday-” Pinkie Pie looks up at Doug, fluttering her eyelashes.
“I did,” Doug nods.
“-and so I thought that it would be so much fun to have an ‘after-birthday’ party on the day after Gummy’s birthday party! And you’re invited!”
Doug slowly nods, his fingers twiddling as he forces a smile. “So, a day after birthday party? Today, huh?” Doug realizes he is fidgeting, moving his hands to the chair and desk. Yet they keep tapping against the wood. “How about that. You mean, this aftern-”
“YES!” Pinkie Pie shouts, her eyes lighting with restrained fury. “As in, ‘this afternoon’ this afternoon! You know, I didn’t think that a party in the afternoon was such an outlandish concept, especially since we just had one yesterday!”
“I’m sensing some hostility here,” Doug says with a slight smirk.
“Duh!” Pinkie Pie vaguely shakes a hoof towards Ponyville, “Nopony else wants to come to the party! Even though everypony said they loved my parties!”
“Y-you already asked everypony else?” Doug says, his eyes tracing over the fraying strands of Pinkie Pie’s mane and the way it keeps drooping down.
“Yes.” Pinkie Pie huffs as she sinks down, covering her head with her hooves. “Buuut,” she says, drawing the word out as her mournful eyes stare up at Doug, a hopeful twinge barely eking out, “A party is still a party even if only one guest arrives. Right?”
Doug’s face falls as his breath lets out in a long sigh, glancing back to all the work he needs to get done. “Look, Pinkie, I’ll do my best, but...” He turns back, the pink mare gone from his office. Doug sighs, saying to himself, “I’ll still try to see you at a party today.”
Pinkie Pie growls to herself as she walks back to Ponyville, the spring gone from her step. “Some friends,” Pinkie Pie mutters. How could every single one of them be busy? Even Trixie! Especially Trixie! Pinkie Pie still waves to the passing ponies greeting her with cheery smiles and waves of their own, but the joy is gone from her movements. At least these other ponies don’t have the gall to pretend to be her friends. They all are her friends! They go to all of her parties, whenever she invites them! Although, it has been some time since she invited new friends over. That’s what she needs, right? Some new friends!
Several hours later, around lunchtime, Lemon and Meringue walk into Sugarcube Corner along with the rest of their friends and sisters. Mrs. Cake is working the counter, already having difficulty keeping up with the early lunch rush. It gets even worse when Twilight Sparkle walks in, whispering to Mrs. Cake. The earth pony disappears into the back kitchen for a few long seconds, returning and hoofing over a wrapped package. Twilight takes it, covertly glancing around and immediately leaving afterwards.
Instead of going to their customary table, the two fillies head upstairs, stopping just outside the door. “Do you think it’s true?” whispers Lemon, shakily raising a hoof.
“Unclear.”
“Hmm.” Lemon changes direction, her hoof set against her chin. “At breakfast, she seemed so excited. But ponies kept saying she seemed off. Like, what could they mean by that? And she wasn’t there at the counter. Why wasn’t she there?”
“Speculation superfluous.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Lemon hesitates as she lifts a hoof to the door. “Well, here goes.”
Lemon pushes the door open, the two peeking their heads inside. Pinkie Pie is sitting at a short table, a small party set up with a cake, empty plates, and balloons. Around the table sit five chairs, each empty.
Pinkie Pie appears from behind them, wrapping her forelegs around her two fillies. Lemon and Meringue glance to each other, Lemon’s happy smile a sharp contrast to the bored look on Meringue and the malevolent grin on Pinkie Pie. The mare pushes the two fillies into the room, kicking the door shut. A large wooden bar swings down, slamming into wooden holds. It would have locked them into the room, except that the door swings inwards and the holds are on the door itself.
“Just the ponies I was expecting to see,” Pinkie Pie declares, plopping them both down on the short chairs. She pulls over a plate laden with cake and sweets, setting it just out of reach.
“Yeah, we come see you, like, every day. Also, Mmm~! Those look delicious!” Lemon exclaims, her hooves resting on the table as she tries to jump up. A hoof to her chest stops her, Pinkie Pie staring down menacingly. Lemon merely attempts to push past again, her hooves flailing forwards and trying to reach the desserts.
“Oh, they are, Lemon,” Pinkie Pie softly coos, though her other hoof makes a few weird motions in the air. “And they’re all yours.”
“Oh, sweet!” Lemon says, trying to push past Pinkie Pie again, yelping a little as Gummy chomps down on her tail, pulling her backwards. “Hey, what gives?”
“All you have to do is talk.” Pinkie Pie grins, her head slowly rotating to the side and sitting there.
“Oh, really?” Lemon grins. “I love talking! Let’s see, so today we were going over the flag that ponykind decided on after unification, and then how it got changed to the current flag with Princess Celestia and Princess Luna spinning around a sun and a moon, which I thought was a little odd because Princess Luna turned into Nightmare Moon a thousand years ago, which is a really really long time, but in all that time Princess Celestia never let them change the flag on account of her sister's memory or something?” Lemon shrugs, but doesn’t continue at Pinkie Pie’s growl.
“Not you!” Pinkie Pie points a hoof at Meringue. “You. Talk about my herdmates! Your aunts!”
Meringue stares at Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie huffs. “No, that’s not what I meant! You’re not understanding me! I want you to confess!”
Meringue continues staring at Pinkie Pie while Lemon starts sweating bullets.
Pinkie Pie looms over Meringue. “Oh? Something keeping you from telling me what I want to know?”
Lemon nervously glances back and forth before breaking down. “It was me! I was the one who ate your muffins this morning! And I said it was Gummy, and then when you baked more muffins I ate those too!”
“Oh, no wonder Gummy was so hungry at lunch today!” Pinkie Pie looks over at Gummy, the alligator halfway to swallowing Lemon’s tail. “We should fix that!” She grabs a slice of cake, tempting the alligator away from Lemon by dangling it over his head. Gummy barely reacts.
Pinkie Pie tosses the cake into the air as she gets bored. Meringue grabs one of the empty plates and throws it, a perfect landing underneath the cake.
“No, no, no, no!” shouts Pinkie Pie, hopping up on the table and raging back and forth. “I want you to confess that you knew all along that my herdmates are all lying to me and avoiding me because they don’t like my parties and they don’t want to be herdmates or friends or anything anymore!”
“Illogical decision.”
“Quiet, you.” Pinkie Pie huffs. “See? Even my own fillies have turned against me! My own flesh and blood!” Pinkie Pie sniffs, wiping away the tears from her eyes as her mane deflates, hanging limply against her. “Just take the sweets and go. I want to be alone.”
Meringue hops up, grabbing a pastry from the basket. She hesitates before walking over, setting it in Pinkie’s hooves, and returns to get another pastry for herself. Lemon nuzzles her dam before lifting the basket on her back and walking away, dragging Gummy behind her. She pauses at the doorway, a long, melancholy look back at Pinkie Pie, a rare frown on her face before she shakes her tail, Gummy flopping off. The two fillies leave, closing the door behind them.
Pinkie Pie sits alone for a few minutes before she finally opens her mouth. She sighs, muttering to nopony in particular, “It’s kind of boring being alone, actually.” Her gaze wanders around the room: under the bed, up in the rafters, and at the closet. She grins as she pulls a marker out of her mane, then gathers random objects and places them around the table. She draws a happy face on a bag of flour, a frowny face on a pile of rocks, and an angry face on a lump of lint she found under the bed.
“There, much better!” Pinkie Pie looks around, a hollow smile on her face. “So, who is looking forward to the best party ever!” “I know I am!” “You’re the best, Pinkie Pie!” “Yeah, we really enjoy your parties!” “Well, that you throw!” “Not like those other ponies!” “They don’t appreciate all the hard work you do!”
Hours later, Doug walks up to Pinkie Pie’s room in Sugarcube Corner. He pauses at hearing voices from inside, shrugging and opening the door regardless. Five inanimate objects sit around a table where Pinkie Pie is busy heaping more cake onto plates already overflowing. Well, they would be inanimate if she stopped propping them up and moving them back and forth as she talks, changing her voice with each one.
“Sup,” Doug says as he walks into the room, glancing worriedly at the cake. “Having fun at your party?”
“Doug! You came!” Pinkie Pie happily exclaims, pronking up to wrap her hooves around him as her mane poofs back to normal. “Oh, but it’s not really my party. It’s for Gummy, silly!”
“Ah, so it is!” Doug looks down at the alligator, unmoving in a bowl of punch. He looks around, “So, sorry I was short on you earlier. Ended up getting through my mail pretty quickly.”
“That means you can spend even longer with me!” Pinkie Pie grins, pulling Doug towards the table. “Join us! We’re just having some cake!”
“Yes, I can see that,” Doug says, grabbing one of the slices that has fallen off a plate. He chews, a bit of a frown forming. “It’s kind of stale. Well, not bad, but still.”
“Really?” Pinkie Pie says, hopping up and down to look at the piece of cake in Doug’s hand. “That just means that we need to make some more! Onward, to the bakery!”
“I was thinking something else.” Doug motions to the west, “Want to head back with me to Sweet Apple Acres?”
“Eh, not really,” Pinkie Pie says, her mane deflating again. Her inflectionless voice barely ekes out, “I’m having a wonderful time here.”
“Well, it wasn’t really a question,” Doug says as he wraps a hand around Pinkie Pie’s withers. She gasps as he lifts her up to his shoulders, a heavy grunt as she lightly struggles. “Oh, you want to play this the hard way?” Doug grins as his fingers trace up Pinkie Pie’s leg, the mare’s writhing getting more pronounced as he walks out the door.
After what seems like an eternity of tickling, giggling, and pleas to ‘please stop, I’ll do anything’, plus whatever scratching Doug was able to get in, the two arrive at Sweet Apple Acres. Pinkie Pie goes limp. Doug looks up, a light prod to try to get the mare back into their game, but she just sighs in return.
“What’s up?” Doug asks as he gets to the barn door.
“Oh, just that it’s been fun, but I’ll be sad to see you go,” Pinkie Pie replies.
“What?” Doug asks dumbly as he opens the door, walking inside.
The two are greeted by blasts of noisemakers, stomping of hooves, and fourteen ponies shouting, “SURPRISE!!”
Pinkie Pie’s mane barely reacts while Doug’s hair and face are blown backwards, knocking him off his feet. Pinkie Pie lands on the ground with a heavy ‘whump’, barely moving despite Doug’s abject apology and ear scratches. One eye sits against the ground while the other blankly roams over the rest of the herd, finally giving up and closing.
Twilight Sparkle walks up, followed by the rest of the herd, confusion plain on her face. “Huh.”
Fluttershy flies over. “I really thought she’d be more excited.”
“Excited?!” Pinkie Pie shouts as she leaps up, knocking Doug away. “Why would I be excited to attend my own farewell party!”
“Woah, woah, woah, farewell party?” Rainbow Dash exclaims.
“Yes!” Pinkie Pie motions to the decorations, “You don’t like me anymore, so you decided to kick me out of the herd and throw a great, big party to celebrate!”
“Whatever gave you that idea, darling?” asks Rarity.
Pinkie Pie taps one hoof as she counts off, “Because you’ve all been lying to me and avoiding me all day! That’s why!”
“Well, it’d be a pretty crummy surprise party if we told you what we were doing,” says Trixie.
Pinkie Pie blankly looks at her.
“We’d been planning it for so long, and we had to get everything ready.” Applejack smiles at Pinkie Pie, “We still like you, Sugarcube.”
Pinkie Pie’s muzzle twitches, though her frown remains.
Twilight Sparkle motions to the cake, “And, if this is a farewell party, why does your cake say ‘Happy Birthday Pinkie Pie’?”
A smile slowly breaks out on Pinkie Pie’s muzzle, the mare sitting in shock for a few seconds.
“Because it’s my BIRTHDAY!!” Pinkie Pie shouts in joy, her mane poofing out. She dances around, exuding happiness as she laughs uproariously. Her forelegs stretch out, somehow managing to gather all fifteen others to a giant group hug. Everypony beams as Pinkie Pie giggles uncontrollably.
Twilight gasp goes unnoticed as Laughter overwhelms her, a heady torrent she can barely quaff. For long seconds she barely holds against the tide, nearly losing control. The rush gradually slows, eventually coming to a halt as Pinkie Pie gets herself back under control. Twilight is just able to glance back through the crush of ponies to her flank. Four lit stars.
“And you like me so much you decided to throw me a surprise party!” Pinkie Pie shakes back and forth, everypony grinning. “You girls are the best! How could I have ever doubted you?”
Twilight nervously chuckles as she says, “It’s okay, Pinkie. It could have happened to any of us.”
Fluttershy smiles. “Don’t worry about it.”
Applejack pushes herself out of the group hug, going to the record player. “All right, girls! Enough of this gab! Let’s party!”