//------------------------------//
// But... The Squeezy... 
// Story: Equestrian Eeveelution. 
// by Symphonicdysonince 
//------------------------------//

Vince and Cy joined Conner, Zann and I as we watched the Brothers roll up the road. I quickly looked to see where Fluttershy and Rainbow were, and was disappointed to see them staying close.

Cra~ap. I sighed. Didn't expect this one so soon. How am I going to warn the others? I hopped onto Rainbow's back as the Cider Squeezy pulled to a stop.

Cy's fur bristled as they knocked over the fence post. <<Hey! How many cereal box tops did you fucks have to send in to get your licences?!>>

Vince leaned towards them, sniffing as he did so. <<They have an... off smell. I don't trust them.>>

<<Neither do I.>> I agreed as the brothers launched into their singing spiel. I tapped Rainbow's shoulder. <<I don't think you should buy what they're selling.>>

Rainbow bounced into the air, hoping for some quieter space. "What do you mean?"

<<Just that.>> My ear twitched as the brothers kept singing. <<Look, see how they're trying to whip the crowd up? They want them hanging on their every word. And their names! You ponies have very, uh, prophetic names.>> I gestured to the bare-faced brother as he picked up Apple Bloom. <<Their names are Flim Flam. They're a flimflam. They're running a fu->> I paused, remembering what she usually interprets that swear as. <<A scam. They're pulling the wool over everyone's eyes! Think about it: how long does it take the Apples to ferment their cider?>>

"Almost all winter..." I could see the gears turning in Rainbows head.

<<And they claim to be able to make cider instantly? Must be magic.>> I lay my head on top of Rainbows. <<Wonder what that does to the quality...>>

Just then, the mustachioed brother slid past us on a part of their machine. "More cider than you can drink in all you're days of thinking~."

"I doubt that!" Rainbow shot back, crossing her hooves. She rolled her eyes up to look at me as the crowd was swept up in the Brothers' song. "You really think so."

I eyed the Reckless Duo and their hard frowns. <<Yeah, yeah I do.>> I patted Rainbow on her head. <<Just,>> I sighed, <<just don't get too attached to the idea they're selling. Not until they prove they can deliver.>>

It was roughly at that point that Granny took her sip. Rainbow smirked at Granny's smile. "She seems to think they can."

<<I still don't trust them.>>

Soon enough, the con ponies attempted to give their broken bargain with the Apples and left for the day. Most of the crowd dispersed, but I could see some ponies gathered around. Probably hoping for more of the show... We all gathered around the Apples. 

"What are we gonna do?" Apple Bloom asked.

<<What does she mean?>> Conner asked, looking to me.

Vince spoke up. <<They're going to run the farm out of business!>>

Fluttershy held a hoof to her face. "Is that true?" She addressed Applejack. "They want to run you off the farm?"

"If we don' take their crooked deal, yeah." Applejack nodded. "We may need t' sell some of our reserve if'n they take our customers."

"You have reserves?!" Rainbow cried. "Why haven't you ever sold them?"

"'Cause it's fer family and emergencies only!" The farmmare snapped. "Never mind th' fact most o' it has been sitting there for years. It's gotta be very potent by now, what hasn't been taken by th' Celestia's Share." She sighed. "It's a shame Mr. Rich's already taken his share to market. We won't see those bits fer a while yet."

Granny waved a hoof. "Eh, I wouldn't worry about it. I took a samplin' o' their cider, and I knew they weren't on th' level right then! Their cider's like two amorous rabbits in a canoe."

I chuckled along with the other canines as Twilight rubbed her chin. "It makes sense. Fermentation can be a finicky process at the best of times, even without magic. There have been several reports of ponies going blind from homemade alcohol, after all. And, while using magic to speed the process up is one of the safest of things one can do, relatively speaking, it does carry the risk of making already mundane problems worse." She shook her head. "I'd be interested to know how the Cider Squeezy was made. And what happened to its five thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine predecessors."

"Ah think tha' was just a gimmick there, Twi."

"Still, they run the risk of having severe issues crop up. Of which, an inedible product would be the best scenario."

<< O~h.>> Zann chuckled. <<Hey, Leo! I get it now.>> I saw his look of mirth get replaced by one of horror. <<Oh Arceus!>>

<<Yup.>>

Granny hoofed the cider she still had to Pinkie. "I know ya like our cider, how's this compare?"

Pinkie took the mug in hoof, sniffed it a few times, then took a gulp. After a few seconds of swishing it around, she let it fall back into the mug with a drawn out "Bleh." She then proceeded to upturn the mug itself. "Nope, not getting the Pinkie Seal of Approval." My ears twitched as the remainders of the crowd pass that tidbit around.

Cy bulled his way to the front. <<Fluttershy, I might have an idea. Could you pass it on to Applejack?>>

"Of course." The timid mare tapped Applejack on the shoulder. Once she had the farmare's attention, she began to translate.

<<You know that everypony in town likes your cider right? What if you make and sell little cider making kits? A few apples, some instructions on how to do it, a miniature set of equipment, sell it for twenty bits?>>

"An' they could just buy more apples to refill the kits." Applejack seemed to give it some thought. "What's stoppin' ponies from just makin' their own cider?"

<<The amount made from the kits should only be effectively enough for one pony to have maybe a couple of glasses. Not nearly enough for them to host a party. And, since it would still take time for it to ferment properly, you can sell the kits in the fall and still make money from your cider sales in the spring.>>

Rainbow nodded. "Yeah! And, since they would know that they have cider waiting for them at home, they won't be in a rush to get some! Meaning more cider for ponies like me, who don't or can't get here before you run out!"

Applejack nodded. "What do ya think, Twi?"

"It's doable." The purple mare allowed. "Still, there's always the issue of things like the blindness I brought up."

"That's an easy fix." Pinkie stated. "Just get them to Pinkie Swear to follow the instructions!"

<<You can't even follow instructions.>> Zann sighed.

"Plus," Pinkie nodded. "if I try it first, as a proof of concept type thingy, then other ponies would know to take it just as seriously!"

"So long as you follow the instructions." Rainbow deadpanned. "I've seen what you do with your Lego sets."

"But they're so boring!" Pinkie cried. "It's so much fun just making them up as you go. It's like being a master of you're own world!"

<<Down Pinkie.>> Zann tapped her with his metal paw. <<You're starting to get a Morgan Freeman complex.>>




The next day, Rainbow, Fluttershy, Conner and I were sitting on a bench outside the yellow pegasus' cottage. We were taking the time for Rainbow to practice understanding me by having me say tongue twisters and seeing if she could repeat them.

Surprisingly, it was Conner's idea.

<<She sells sea shells by the sea shore.>> I stated.

Rainbow scrunched up her muzzle. "She sells Shellders by the sea shore?"

I shook my head. <<She sell sea shells by the->> I turned to watch the Brothers ride towards the farm. <<They're back.>>

"She sells water shell's off their back?"

<<What?! No!>> I pointed to the road. <<The Brothers are back.>>

We all shared a look, before getting up and trotting into town. By the time we got there, the Brothers had already begun drumming up a crowd. They began to promote their cider, but the flowery words they used only made them sound like vaudeville peddlers hawking their wares.

Unfortunately for them, word had spread of Pinkie's review, and they barely sold a drop. Once it was clear that interest had died out, the Brothers had wisely packed up and left.

<<That was strangely anticlimactic.>> Conner stated. He gave me a glance from the corner of his eye. <<Think we need to have a group chat again?>>

I nodded. <<Tomorrow at the Daycare?>>

<<I'll pass it along.>>