After their late lunch, Rainbow Dash left Twilight and Earl to finish up what she was doing previously, be it a nap or stunts was either of Twilight’s guesses.
The next couple hours were relatively peaceful. By now word had gotten around town for ponies to trot with caution around Earl, and explicitly told not to get in his way. Twilight would occasionally stop to tell the man about a particular building, business, or who’s home they were passing by.
Earl took it all in stride, giving a remark here and there, or questioning the sanity of the shopkeepers around town. Their last stop was to be the market square, where they would meet up with Applejack.
“It just don’t make a lick of sense, kid. Why would you sell quills and sofas together? Hell, who still even uses quills? I think my grandpappy did, only because his cock had some good feathers on his tail.”
“Well, it’s that or pencils, and you wouldn’t find somepony writing to the princess with that.”
“It wouldn’t take some phoney to use a ballpoint pen though.”
“Ballpoint… pen?” Twilight asked.
Earl stopped his buggy, and with a roll of his eyes reached into the breast pocket which held his glasses, and withdrew a thin tube. Giving a quick demonstration of pressing the one end in, making an audible click, he tossed it over to the mare.
Twilight’s magic came to life, catching it and drawing it up close to her face.
“Keep it, I got a few more rolling around in my suitcase somewhere.” Earl began driving away, leaving a mystified Twilight to experiment with the pen.
----------
Earl rolled into what he’d guess to be a market of some kind. Passing by merchants at booths, tables, or even stalls like he’d make when he was a kid, trying to sell lemonade.
“Christ, no wonder all the stores around here are a mess. They sell everything important outside in stalls,” Earl mumbled to himself.
“Well howdy! You must be Earl I reckon?”
Earl stopped, looking to the right, where he was fairly sure someone spoke to him. There was a orange and blonde blur standing at one stand, and as Earl drove closer he swore he smelled apples.
“Yeah? Who’s askin’?” Earl stopped suddenly. “Wait, you from the home?”
The blonde let out a laugh. “No no, I’m a friend of Twilight’s. The name’s Applejack.” She reached out a arm to shake, which Earl accepted.
“What the hell’s wrong with all your hands around here? You all work in the saw mills or somethin’? Lose them to the grinders?”
“Uhhh…”
“Whatever. What’s it here you’re trying to peddle to and old fart?”
Applejack blinked. “Uh, I’m not peddlin’ anythin’ to ya. Just wanted to say hi, ‘nd to make sure you’re still plannin’ on stayin’ with us tonight.”
Earl lifted up his hat, wiping the sweat on his head. “Oh right, right. Yeah, Oompa Loompa said something about finding a place for me to crash.”
“I’d sure hope not! I don’t think we could fix that fancy buggy thing of yours there.”
Earl paused a moment.
“Jesus, you’re all pixelated.”
Applejack then paused.
“I think that’s a compliment?”
“If that’s what you’re going with, then by all means.” Earl grabbed one of the apples in the basket. “So, you sellin’ apples eh? How much? They feel good and firm, smell damn good too.”
“Oh, that’ll be four bits an apple!”
----------
Twilight was frantically searching for Earl. So engrossed in his clicky pen she’d forgotten to keep track of the elderly man. Thankfully, her worries were for naught, as she spied him in the distance at Applejack’s stand.
However, the closer she got, she noticed ponies standing around, gawking, and by the near shouts coming from the pair she knew there was trouble.
“Ah said I’d go down to two bits!”
“And I said I’d pay you the full price! Here’s a dollar!”
“That’s just paper! What do I want with paper?”
“It’s money you twit!”
“Who you callin’ a twit, ya wrinkly old jackass!”
Earl stood from his buggy. “You want to try and say that to my face?”
By the time Applejack stepped around her stall, Twilight forced herself between the two.
“Enough!” the alicorn shouted.
“Stay out of this, kid. I need to teach this girl some manners when dealing with her elders.” Earl grabbed his cane.
“Yeah, Twi. I need to see if it’s true that old dogs can’t be taught new tricks.” Applejack cracked her neck.
“No! Earl, Applejack, I don’t know what caused all of this-”
“He was tryin’ ta pass of some lousy paper as money!”
“And I told ya, I ain't got enough change! We’ve been using paper money since the civil war for Christ’s sake!”
Twilight braced her hooves between the two. “No! Enough. It doesn’t matter, I want you both to apologize, right now.”
“But Twilight-”
“Kid, listen-”
Slowly, Twilight leaned directly into Applejack’s face, nearly touching muzzles. “Apologize.” Then she turned to Earl, who she pressed her hoof harder onto his gut. “Right now.” Twilight returned to all four hooves. “This instant.”
Both parties grumbled, but with another disapproving glare from Twilight, Earl extended his hand towards Applejack.
“Sorry.”
Applejack let out a sigh, and shook hand in hoof once more. “I’m rightfully sorry too. I shouldn’t have let my temper get the better of me.”
Twilight nodded. “There, that’s better. I can’t have you two fighting if you’re going to be under the same roof for the night.”
Earl sat into his buggy, lifting his hat to scratch his head. “Oh, that’s right, I forgot you were offering me a room. Now I feel plum dumb.”
Applejack couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. “It’s a’right, Earl. I can get a big heated at times, I can admit. Look, I’ll tell ya what. You help set up the table at dinner, you can have an apple free of charge.”
As Earl smiled, Twilight couldn’t help but share the expression. After the earlier confrontation with Cheerilee, she wasn’t quite sure if she could stand up to Earl if he went off with one of her closer friends. Proving she could just then was a huge boost, and with any luck…
“Everything’s going to be just fine,” Twilight said out loud.
----------
The next hour was spent in the market square talking with Earl and Applejack. Twilight would try to point out inconsistencies to Earl, about them all being children, midgets, or even clown midgets, yet he was insistent. When she’d bring up magic, he’d wave it off with rambles about drones, digital media, and a series of tubes that connected the world and was all a ploy to make everyone lazy and fat.
The bell tower had struck five o’clock, which signalled many of the vending ponies to pack up for the day and return in the morning.
Earl sat back casually in his chair, occasionally watching AJ and Twilight put the cart away, or would wander to another vendor to try and get some last second deals on things.
His fourth trip around, he returned with a huff and crossed his arms over his chest.
Twilight stopped what she was doing to check in on the man. “You know, if you wanted something, I could have traded some bits for your paper.”
“Never you mind that. Still can’t fathom how a place would just ignore cash like that. I’d get a fuss over writing a check, and credit cards are the work of the devil, but cash? Cash is King is a borderline religion where I’m from.”
“Oh, well some places do accept checks. We have banks, after all.”
“You got a Chase bank around?”
Twilight and Applejack shared a glance, then shook their heads.
“Figures.”
The sun was beginning it’s faster decent by the time Applejack was packed up, and after hitching up, the three began the walk to Sweet Apple Acres.
As they began to leave the town proper behind them, Earl’s buggy began making a audible beep.
“What’s that?” Twilight asked.
“Damn,” Earl swore, looking around, “it’s getting dark, and my battery is weak.”
“Oh, for your buggy?”
“No, my hearing aid.”
“Oh… uh… do you have a-”
Twilight received a smack on her head with his cane. “No, I don’t. My hearing is fine. Yes my buggy’s getting weak. When we get to this place I’ll need to plug it in and charge it.”
“Uh, plug it in?” Applejack asked.
“Yeah, you know? Into an outlet?”
“What’s he talkin’ ‘bout, Twi?”
Twilight scrutinized the buggy some, when it finally clicked.
“Oh! Earl, this buggy runs on electricity, doesn’t it?”
“No, it runs on the hopes and dreams of every goddamn gook I shot. Of course it does!”
“Oooooooh. We ain’t got that.”
Earl stopped his buggy, glaring at Applejack. “What did you just say?”
Applejack unhitched herself in the middle of the dirt road, walking up to Earl. “We don’t got electricity. Only some parts of Ponyville do, but we opted out.”
Earl’s buggy began beeping again. “Well, fan-fucking-tastic.” He looked around, noticing the empty road. “How much farther we got?”
Applejack took stock of their surroundings. “I’d say another twenty or so minutes of walkin’.”
Earl’s frown was, at its worst, a testament to every old grouchy stallion Twilight had ever met in her life. The best result was that Twilight hadn’t spontaneously combusted from the radiated hate that Earl’s glare shot at her.
“This isn’t going to last that long. I’m going back to find some civilized folk.”
“Wait, Earl, hold on a moment!” Twilight rushed to block off the man.
“Move it, kid. I’m gonna go give it a shot at that motel of yours.”
“Don’t you fret none, Earl!” Applejack joined Twilight. “I’ll rush on home, drop off the stall, and head back with our wagon. I’ll be right quick!”
Before Earl could respond, Applejack was hitched up and running towards home.
“Well, that was nice of her!” Twilight said. “Although, I probably could have just teleported to the barn and brought back the wagon a lot faster.”
“Eh, don’t worry none kid. Lets just go until the battery runs out.”
That ended up being another five minutes, as Twilight could now out-walk Earl’s buggy.
As they approached the beginning of the white wooden fence, the buggy came to a halt.
“Welp, that’s it.”
Twilight returned to Earl’s side, and took a seat next to him. “Don’t worry, Applejack will be back soon.”
“I ain’t worried. I just need this thing charged for tomorrow, if I’m going to catch the train.”
Twilight bit her bottom lip. The two remained silent, watching the random birds flying around the apple trees, the setting sun behind them.
“Earl…”
“Yeah, kid?”
“Do… I mean…”
“Spit it out, kid.”
Twilight took a deep breath.
“I don’t think taking the train in the morning is the right thing to do.”
Earl raised an eyebrow. “Oh? You don’t, do you?”
“No.”
“Then where, pray tell, should I go from here?”
“Well… maybe until I can figure out how to get you home-”
“I ain’t goin’ back to the damn home!”
“Fine! Then Californeigh! I don’t think you should leave just yet. You’re… not adapting well. And you’re lost.”
“I ain’t lost, just misplaced.”
Twilight blinked. Suddenly, she began to chuckle, and by Earl’s confused expression she erupted into full blown laughter.
It took her several seconds to calm down.
“I’m… I’m sorry, it was just… that was the most accurate thing I think you’ve said since we met.”
Earl wore a small frown, but remained silent.
Twilight cleared her throat. “I want to help you, but I’m not sure how to do that just yet. So please, will you stay?”
Earl scratched behind his left ear, looking around, then focused back to Twilight.
“Well, I don’t know kid. I’d have to think on it.”
Twilight released the breath she was holding. “That’s… something, at least. If you’d like, after tonight I can make up a spare bedroom in my castle for you to stay.”
“Castle?” Earl asked.
“Sweet castle!”
Earl and Twilight looked up, watching as Rainbow Dash came in for a hot landing.
“Damn squirt, you just can’t keep your feet on the ground, can ya?”
“I don’t know what a feet is, but I’m sure if I had one then I’d still say nope! So, whatcha talkin’ about?”
Twilight smiled at her friend.
“Earl’s thinking about sticking around longer than a day.”
“Now hold it there, kid. I said I’d think about it.”
“Pfft. Yeah, right old man. If Twilight’s got you thinking about it, then you’re gonna do it. Trust me, it’s just how it works out.”
Earl crossed his arms, grumbling incoherently to himself.
At that moment, Applejack, along with Big Macintosh, came into view with a empty cart.
“Well howdy! Looks like y’all made it a little farther.”
Earl rolled his eyes. “Yes, we tried anyway.”
Applejack looked over to her pegasus friend, “Oh howdy R-D! What brings ya by?”
Rainbow Dash tilted her head. “Uh, since the pic-nick got canceled, Fluttershy said we were having dinner at your place.”
“She did?” Applejack asked, looking to her brother.
“Eeyup.”
“Well, it’s about damn time you kids brought an adult.” Earl stepped off his buggy, using Twilight’s head as support.
With a grumble, the mare stood and followed Earl over to the two apple farmers. Earl reached out his free hand, which Big Macintosh accepted with a firm shake.
“Earl. Earl Caster.”
“Big Macintosh Apple.”
“How the hell do you pick apples with no hands?”
“The hell even are you supposed ta be?”
Twilight and Rainbow stood slack jawed, while Applejack simply face hoofed.
Earl grinned, looking down to Twilight. “Hey, I like this one. He don’t got a pole up his ass like you, kid.”