"Ok, let's see if I understand you all correctly."
After recovering from his initial shock, the ex-prince of Equestria managed to collect his thoughts long enough to seek out answers from what were possibly the most influential mares in all of Equestrian history. They all sat in a circle and compared notes since they too seemed to have questions for the Ronin as well. Something that had him slightly confused but agreed to do so nonetheless.
"You are telling me; that in order to help my aunts in teaching me the qualities of a great leader and to have the ultimate teachers on the subject of ruling a kingdom…Lady Death collected the favor Discord owed her to bring you all back from the dead?"
"Yep," Pudding Head quickly answered. "Don't worry, we aren't zombies or anything like that if you were wondering. We're kind of like what you are, only our bodies are made from clay turned to flesh and bone." She quickly adds. "Think of us like really, really well made and equipped golems."
"Hmph! As if a golem could be able to embody my radiance." Princess Platinum added with just a touch of indignation. Looking at her the ex-prince took note of her striking features. Her fur was a light grayish purple, her mane and presumable tail were of a silver color, and her eyes were of a magenta color, with just the right amount of dark purple eyeshadow framing her eyes. Her long legs ended with metal regalia on the end of her hooves, similar in design to what his aunts wore along with a purple diamond ring on her horn. "If it were up to me I would have chosen the most precious of materials to create our bodies. As the mares responsible for creating Equestria in the first place, I say we more than deserve it."
"Will you give it a rest already, Platinum." Commander Hurricane snarked out to the princess in exasperation as she rolled her eyes. Looking at her the Ronin manages to see her more clearly. Her fur was a dark red, on the side of her right cheek was a small scar most likely given it by a sword fight, her mane and tail were short and black. And her right ear was chipped on the edge of it. "We are here to help him," she states while pointing a hoof at Blueblood for emphasis, "get his sorry flank back onto the throne, not to win a beauty pageant."
"We could do both things, especially if you let me work on your manes and…"
"Don't even think about it!" Hurricane complains, reflexively clamping her hooves down onto her helmet. The ex-prince only blinked owlishly in confusion as he saw how the founders responsible for creating Equestria were currently bickering with one another as if they were siblings that didn't get along.
Suddenly they all heard the voice of Discord chuckling and echoing on the walls, making them all stop their conversations and look around for him. "Oh I don't know Hurricane, I think you could look fabulous with a beehive mane."
He suddenly appears in front of everyone as a giant bee before quickly removing the helmet before giving her that very mane style. "Buzz, buzz, but my queen. I don't know why, but today you look particularly homely, buzz, buzz."
Pudding Head chuckled and held her hoof on her mouth at the display as Hurricane can only look shocked at what was happening. Though, to her credit, she quickly recovered.
"Oh har, har, hilarious. GIVE ME THAT!" She violently yanked her helmet back and shook her mane to normal before putting back on.
"Hurricane, honey, dear, sweetheart, you really need to work with me if you want to be on the next cover of Equine magazine," Discord tells in a feminine voice and transforming into some kind of photographer with dark glasses and carrying 5 cameras on him, as he snaps his finger two times and wiggles his neck.
The spirit of chaos then notices the ex-prince, and he turns his attention to him, transforming back to normal. "Oh well, would you look it here. Our dear patient is back!" He told with a smile and began to take his pulse, wearing a doctor shirt. "Aha…yeah, I diagnose two pills of OCOL a week. Daily chocolate milk breakfast and no heavy diplomacy for two months."
Then transforming into an old lady version of himself, Discord slowly turned to face the ex-prince and lifts a cane that he was using to move. "Don't ever do that again, you gave your old grandma one giant heart attack sonny. Kids these days, blacking out in the middle of the rain, and not even hearing one simple "Thank you" after bringing you here and get you some company. I thought I raised you better than that."
"Wait?" He then looks to the 3 founders. "So you didn't bring me here?" Blueblood asks them in confusion.
"Well no, dear." Platinum is the one that answers him. "By the time we arrived…"
"You’re welcome by the way." Discord interrupts her, irking the ruler for a moment before she can continue.
"Yes... as I was saying after we arrived under the instructions of this weird creature," She states while taking a glance at Discord, "You were already inside…just standing in the middle of the room, completely soaked through with a thousand-mile stare. When we tried to get your attention, you simply collapsed and have been sleeping ever since." She told him with some worry. "Tell us, dear, how did you end up like that?"
"Yeah, I'm curious about that too." Discord says, transforming the place into an interrogation room and him into a cop with a cup of coffee in his claw. "We want answers, and we want them now!" He says in an over exaggerated tone. "And I warn you, young man, if you are making up stories, it better be one darn good one." He tells him with a glare, confusing everyone in the room.
"To be honest, I'm don't even know if half of what happened was real or not." The prince answers, holding his head. "After leaving Canterlot, I don't even know how long I walked until I ended up inside that forest."
"Oh, I can answer that." Discord tells in a cheery tone, reverting everything back to normal and showing him a picture of the prince on the bottom of a hole in the ground. "Not long at all. Almost immediately after you left the city, I found you in the bottom of a hole in the ground that you must have fallen into during to the rain and hit your head. So anything after that was just in your head. But please keep going, I love hearing stories that don't make any sense." He mirthfully replies, conjuring a bag of popcorn.
"A bump on the head? Everything that I saw was because I simply hit my head?" Blueblood asks holding his head and in effect, there was a bump on the side of it. "Wait, you saw me lying there, unconscious and injured and didn't take me to a hospital?" Blueblood looks at Discord in surprise.
"We're the ones asking the questions here, mister!" Discord rapidly responded. "And besides, the last thing Equestria needs right now is Daybreaker." He tells him with a roll of his eyes.
"Daybreaker?"
"Trust me, you don't want to know. Let just say, that the idea of you injured and in a coma would have resulted in old Celly getting really, really REALLY angry." He confides in the group with worry written all over his mismatched features.
"What?"
"Doesn't matter!" Pudding Head interrupted. "We were in the middle of a story, go ahead, what happens next?" She asks him excitedly.
"Ah, but what will be the point now? Nothing was…"
"Please!" She throws herself in front of his hooves, giving him puppy eyes.
The ex-prince sighs and rolls his eyes "Fine."
"Yay!" Pudding Head exclaims cheerfully and listens intently as he retold the rest of the story. All was proceeding somewhat normally right up until the point where he met Despero. There, Discord literally froze in place, staring at the ex-prince in mute shock.
"Ah come again, what did you say his name was?"
"Despero, a breezie who hooves were made of water. Spirit of despair and anguish…and apparently your brother."
That surprised the founders who turn to regard the Spirit of Chaos as he facepalmed. "Brother?!" they exclaimed in unison.
"Yep, that's the one. Now everything makes sense." Discord remarks in exasperation.
"Wait, you are saying that, THAT was real?!" Blueblood asked in shock as the spirit of chaos simply nodded before explaining. "You didn't have a dream from the bump in the head Blues. My overly dramatic of a brother sucked your subconscious into his personal void of sadness and anguish so you could have a very vivid pity-party." He tells them exasperatedly before crossing his arms. "What a drama king."
"Why did he do that?"
"Because that's what he does! Despero searches for the saddest creatures he can find, takes their subconscious into caves because he absolutely obsesses over those,then he makes them even sadder and then drowns them in their own sorrow. The guy really needs a learn to cheer up once in a while."
"Eh when you say drown them…?" The ex-prince asked before being interrupted by Platinum.
"Ah Discord, are you actually saying that the physical manifestation of sadness and anguish needs to 'cheer up'?" Platinum incredulously questioned.
"I know what I said." He repeats turning his back to everyone.
"Well regardless, I'm thankful for what he did." The ex-prince informs the group with a smile, surprising Discord. "You are thankful?"
Blueblood nods in affirmation. "Yes, it was hard and painful to experience, yeah. But because I confronted my inner demons, I'm now at peace with myself and figured out what was bothering me." He tells with a chuckle. "In a roundabout way, your brother helped me find inner peace and a form of happiness I never thought possible."
"Really?" He clasps his hands together with a malevolent smirk. "Now, that is something I can use." He starts to chuckle evilly. "Oh, I will never let him forget this."
He continues to laugh and seemingly forgets the rest of the conversation. So Hurricane decided to jump in and bring it back in track. "Anyway now that everything has been cleared up, we need to talk about strategy. Mainly the where, when and how we are going to string up the two sons of a mule, bastard, jackass, sack of shit…!"
"Hurricane!" Platinum stopped her mid-rant by grabbing her hoof. "Count to ten" She suggested with a smile. Hurricane grumbled but nods and calmed herself down before speaking. "What I meant to say, is that those two…ponies" She finally spat out the word, trying to keep her emotions in check. "Perverted one of my favorite laws, so it fits their needs. I made it, so I, my boys and my girls had an excuse to fight each other and their superior commander to prove that they are not just bark. It doesn't have anything to do with removing the title of their superior officer! It was meant to be an opportunity to take their idea to the battlefield no questions asked!" She tells with clenched teeth. "Listen here colt, and listen well, since I can't wail on their heads until I hit tonsils, you better do so in my place!"
"Wait a moment, if what you are saying is true, then that means that everything that Jet Set and Upper Crust said…?"
"Doesn't hold a candle? Well yes and no, the law has been changed and altered, so it still fits in with Equestrias modern standards, but it still is a fundamental law, thanks in part to the insistence of Hurricane that we keep it." Platinum tells throwing a subtle, but not so subtle glare to her friend.
"Well, forgive me for trying to prevent our kingdom from becoming a bunch of wusses." Hurricane defended herself with a belligerent roll of the eyes.
"Anyway. The law indeed allows one to challenge a ruler to a duel. But the thing is this, It can only be addressed by someone with enough power, and a verifiable, extended list of proven crimes or abuses of power. Even that is subject to investigation and can only be accepted if another ruler acts as the witness of the fight, and can only be issued by another prince, princess of someone of high status, like for example, the captain of the royal guard. Or a minister of justice." She explains to the ex-prince
"Overall, by simply saying no. Or claiming your lack of information, you were well within your right, to deny the challenge and Jet Set couldn't do a single thing against you or take your title. But since you caved into social pressure and accepted the duel, you made it semi-legal, and your actions open up the debate as to whether it was legal or not. So in short, you tripped yourself into a gray area where there isn't an easy solution to the problem."
"Oh." The ex-prince looks down in shame before slightly chuckling. "I royally messed up this time, didn’t I?"
"Yes, yes you did." Pudding Head answers him with a smile and a pat on the back, make the ex-price feel worse. "But hey, cheer up! If it helps, Jet Set and Upper Crust stepped in it even worse." She consoled before passing a newspaper to the Ronin. The headline printed in bold and full-color picture beneath it grabbed his attention.
The picture prominently featured the Noble couple behind bars. Their features dominated by their shocked expressions. The title: 'Traitors to the Crown Arrested!'
"What the…" The ex-prince unfolded the newspaper and began to read. "As the search for the missing prince continues... And in light of the evidence, of a Cursed sword during the duel…Cursed sword?!" The Ronin pondered what the article meant before realization dawned on him, and his expression turned furious. "Those two-timing, no good, cheating bastards! They couldn't even fight fairly, in a duel where they were sure to win!"
"Keep reading." Platinum issue him, which confused the ex-prince, but nods and continues to read out loud. "…the princesses, have issued warrants for the arrest of the prime suspect in the case of attempted regicide of the Prince of Equestria…" Blueblood had to reread the article to believe what he was reading "Wait, what? Regicide?"
"Yeah, long story short. Someone tried to kill you during the party." Discord explained. "Don't worry though, your two favorite guards took care of everything and scared him off."
"Amber and Stellar!" Blueblood eyes widened in realization. "Are they ok? What exactly happened? Are my aunts alright?" He queried frantically, but Hurricane snapped him back to reality. "One problem at a time, please. Now finish reading." She points to the newspaper.
The Ronin, looked at them still confused but relented and kept reading. "…and placed the city in complete lockdown... forbidden anyone to enter or exit the place indefinitely...and limiting the business industry to at-cost trading. As well as the only ones able to trade with the rest of Equestria at large is the Royalty and their direct subordinates... Who continue to provide the resources for the wellbeing of Canterlot and its citizens. When asked “why the crown was taking such extreme actions?" the chilling words of Princess Celestia froze a reporter to the core and prevent him from asking any further questions: ‘My Authority has been trampled, and my family injured. Until my Sister and I have news about our nephew's whereabouts, the lockdown will remain in place.
Furthermore, we are willing and able to compound its enforcement if our authority is challenged yet again… and if he is found dead. Heed my warning now... All citizens of Equestria and its territories... The heads of traitors will roll’."
"No..." Blueblood tosses the newspaper away. "This isn't happening, It can't. My aunt would never say something like that!"
"I'm afraid it really is happening, dear," Platinum consoles him sadly. "Whether you like it or not, you hold a special place in your aunt’s hearts. Of course, Celestia wouldn't take this injustice lightly. Your actions have stirred up a lot of things recently, and that attack to your character was simply the worse thing Jet Set could have done. Celestia was already traumatized by what happened to Luna. Canterlot was standing on the edge of a knife and Jet Set simply made it worse. The failed assassination was the spark that ignited the fears throughout all the city. Chaos was inevitable, and only by taking drastic measures could peace be maintained."
"One form of chaos, I'm not particularly a fan of, may I add." Discord tells placing two cents in the ground. "I know, even I'm shocked. but what those two caused....chaos or not, it simply was wrong." He growled out angrily. "Add all of that on top of how I found you, and things might have turned out far, far worse. That is why I hid you. And believe me, each day that passes without you sleeping has made Luna grow more and more concerned." He informs him with some worry.
"Each day? What do you…?" Realization dawned on the Ronin before he looked at the founders once again. "How long have I been gone?"
"Two weeks." Platinum answers with sadness.
"Two weeks?!" The ex-prince shouted in shock. "Oh dear god, two weeks of me disappearing off the face of both the earth AND the dream world! No wonder my aunts are starting to fear that I'm dead!" He wails holding his head with his hooves.
"Yep, but in the plus side, it gave Celestia and Luna enough, motive, material, and evidence to go arrest Jet Set and Upper Crust. Cutting their support from the nobles off at the knees. Not to mention, that even though they have been implementing harsh laws and procedures for Canterlot. They have done so without looking like cruel or unreasonable rulers and are indirectly saving the entire nation from an economic crisis." Pudding Head explained to him with an innocent smile. "So…glass half full at the very least?"
The ex-prince remained quiet before standing up and headed to the exit. "I need to solve this mess, tell my aunts everything is ok and that I'm in…" He paused for a moment to take a look around the place. "Where is here anyway?"
"Oh, just the original castle of Princess Platinum before leaving and founding Equestria, which is like a week away from here on foot, give or take nothing too big." Discord answered without a care in the world as he inspected one of his paws.
"One that I took the liberty of cleaning it up thank you very much," Platinum added with pride before hearing her companion clearing their throats in annoyance.
"Oh ok, WE cleaned it up" She corrected before rushing to the entrance "And I'm afraid you can't leave yet!" Platinum stops him from leaving. “Like I said you are in a gray area where there isn’t an easy solution for your predicament."
"Yep, that is the point I was getting at. We can't go to Canterlot just yet." Hurricane adds.
"What? Why not?"
“You have no idea how bad are things right now, how emotionally fragile your aunts are at the moment, what negative effects your sudden return would cause. Especially if it ends up with you not needing to face anything you claimed you would pay for. Honestly, I can go on; hay, you don’t even know how to use magic properly.” Platinum lists.
"Do you even have a plan?" Hurricane questioned. "Or what? Are you simply expecting to walk right into Canterlot? Yell that you are there, and pray that things somehow will go back to normal just like that?"
"I…" The ex-prince wanted to say something, anything, but can't find the words. So he simply looked down in resignation "…no” He then gazed back at them. “But we need to do something! Things will just keep getting worse otherwise!” He countered.
"And that is when we come in," Pudding tells him with a cheerful smile. "Don't worry Bluey, we will help you get back that crown of yours in no time. I promise. But first, we have to prepare for everything! And the first thing on the docket? Teaching you how to use magic the right way, human-style!”
"Human what?" Blueblood queried as he looked at Pudding Head, confused by what she was saying
"Oh don't worry, it will be a blast." Discord reassured him cheerfully "And you can count on my help, during the process." He informs Blueblood, giving him an exaggerated bow.
"Seriously? Wow Discord, I don't know what to say but thank you." Blueblood responded gratefully. "And not that I'm opposing the idea or anything, but why do you want to help? If I get this correctly, we are talking about a... extended... training session. This could turn rather boring rather quickly."
"It’s a sacrifice I'm willing to make, besides" He looked at the three founders with an evil smirk. "I haven't had the pleasure of pranking the three ponies that created Equestria in the first place, and this way I will have plenty of opportunities."
"You have a really disturbed and twisted sense of humor, Discord," Platinum states flatly in disgust.
"Oh sweetie, you don't know the half of it." He chuckles in anticipation.