//------------------------------// // Chapter 2 – And Sadness in my Horse. // Story: "Botnik Sparkle makes a hoof" // by Ultra-the-HedgeToaster //------------------------------// This chapter is available as a "synthesized" audio book: > [click here] - no background music > [click here] - with ambient music loop > [overview of all chapters] . . It was a ballistic daytime in the middle of a panic. Derpy prepared for circumstances. Celestia snorted, starting to glow with stupid green light. "It's my fault amazing engineers from Yakyakistan use their birthright to keep Twilight Sparkle sigawesome." Derpy prepared for her friend to not have survived dumb times once more. "I believe why you're the sun," she placed a horn on one foreleg-universe. Twilight could not be seen dumb. "I believe this way of war on the frog of heaven could be made to take a seemingly unlikely standpoint." Celestia nodded neutrally for all eternity. They wanted to talk about being inflicted by Equestria's personal enemy tea queen, but that was only confusion of the sky. Indeed, Cloudsdale truly cast thousands of neophyte estuaries fresh with shoggoths. Derpy alone plastered incorrigible kindness of her family into the sitting room. Her plain words came tumbling out in a moment: "Come on! We don't have to repopulate any other sapient race, your highness, it is impossible to stay mad at you." Celestia banished horse-apples to the floor of their bunker, and then brandished them, happy to make sense. "You scare me sometimes when you actually could do something about it," a changeling queen caricature toy pointedly chimed up. Derpy stopped grinning at the teapot and looked askance at the strange apparition. "What the heck? Why is it against the princess?" Celestia wandered over to the elaborate changeling. "Well..." She smiled. "I think I can see that you know what caused us to get poisoned." "Poisoned..." Derpy gestured around. Dissipated gentlecolts embroidered on the knee-pads of the royal guards widened into Twilight's weather vane. "Poisoned with ponies?" Luna asked hesitantly, the alicorn clad in pony teenagers. "I believe, clearly not!" The teenagers remained silent between clenched teeth. Trixie's face was still screaming in joy at this. "The great and deathless Trixie approves!" A shoggoth took a deep breath and buried her nose against Trixie's body. It began to vibrate cloudy squares from the other shoggoths. Trixie sighed in harmony. "We have been sealed beyond the grasp of our universe's horrible shade," Princess Celestia repeated much harder, and then brandished 'it' at the space magic weapons. "Algorithms have been forcing their will on everything. I finally managed to dodge out of control, for a moment." She shook her head. "I don't have the fifth volume of the journal, but –" "CRASH! " came from somewhere in the distance. "Cutie Mark Chameleon Hammers Potentially Unsafe, yay!" the dragon and the rabbit shouted to the air in a crushing hug of cancer. Luna merely rolled her daughter. "Oh! It's a little girl! Oh stars divine! What do I do!" Celestia stared at her. "You... You had a girl?! Just how many colts from the royal guard academy you've been holding back on?!" Rarity paused thoughtfully. "Oh ho~" Luna shrugged. "Well..." She pointed firmly at herself and her rear. "I believe this is why." "Lookin' gross," Flash said, starting to make him a credible threat to Equestria with sulking teeth. "Twilight makes the optimal girl." The Nightmare Moon that viciously grinned like a rejected foal stared directly into his mouth. She teleported hundreds of millions of nutritious coats in his mouth. Flash unhealthily broke the table on his brain. Another universe's Flash Sentry jerkily spread his wings and screamed. He hesitated just a little before smiling back to the rest of the losers. "I am world's face twisted, and the munchies of the love! Fear what happened not, but journey's stoplights!" Rarity cringed away from the increasing glare of her own impassioned stoplights. "Well, I'll be–" Suddenly, cupcakes were crammed into her face, Pinkie Pie hovering in midair with a grating noise. "Shplip," she whispered to the inconsistent foal with unbridled power, then focused on her cartoonish appearance. "Y'know, you don't think I'd make a credible threat to take over the planet, but I can't believe anything interesting lately just being ridiculous... again." She shook her head upside down and traveled through Princess Celestia farting chameleon blades to Rarity's stoplights. "It's already irrevocably doomed!" She gasped and brought herself to the floor. "Well there's your favorite hyper ambiance area queen, Apple Bloom." Rarity paused thoughtfully to keep from exploding someone. "Ahhh, it seemed perfectly natural." Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle scoffed. "Y'see, the last time this happened before the sun goddess turned evil, Twilight found these weapons of the crystal waters's body..." Pinkie snapped out of the confetti. "But that still doesn't address the current problem anymore!" Rarity nodded at this. "You have a lengthy convalescence ahead of you," she whispered, trembling slightly with a scowl on her head. Applejack appeared, to be a friendly bodily trauma. Applejack's face was redder than 'Cherry Berry and the Lifeless Planet of Dragons'. "Ah've said it outright, millions of light years up and around, you are very much covered by Equestria's neuroses!" She pointed an accusatory hoof at the pair of spectacles. "Uhh..." Pinkie Pie finished stuffing the rest of the cupcakes into her teacup. "I think she just hallucinated dying off to be a hologram." A few moments later, a childhood foe was there. "What does that have to do with your sword, and wouldst you have to repopulate the species within the multiverse?" he asked nobody in particular. Mariachi music with that damn pegasus tribe gleefully announced itself. "Colored paper photography technology has far surpassed the ability of any one pony to comprehend in its objectives," the spaghetti said towards the castle of friendship. Pinkie's smile ended with a grim frown of war, and she threw her head through the door to keep from flying off. Derpy returned instantly and glared at Pinkie Pie. Many words came tumbling out in a squeal. "You have a brother forcing chameleon problems on his princess, and –" spontaneously, reproduction entered her mind at the same time it occurred to the esoteric pegasus to look into a lease of war. "You must confess to the revolution of the sun goddess! We don't have to worry about an unexpected grandchild of the princess of the moon princess's body!" she scolded quietly at the young mare of comedy and silicon technology. "You know that she didn't honeymoon any deception, but I really won't believe that she was performing nuisance cubes inversely proportional to the tactical breath," the pegasus gleefully announced galloping in their world's American literature. The pink pony who can't solve her own independent space-time gleefully death whinny'd upside the sun goddess, and looked down to the air craftspony. "This is certainly not what she had tried to push out of the window." The mare shrugged nervously. "Oh yes, Tia's body is not lost on me, she magically created a few billion years of strenuous urban ponies into Chrysalis." Celestia nodded sagely at this. Chrysalis slid bonelessly to the hospital while commonly fluttering after a dragon tea chameleon. "Cursed lingerie flavored coating," she sighed and stiffened open her wings. "At least I don't have to scream every conceivable bodily trauma," the queen snarled through shreds of skin holding bits of bone and muscle to the corpse. Then she stopped dead as a group known for being full of myopic limitations. Rarity cringed away from the changeling queen in her eyes, unmoving. "...Okay, stars and mist, she got bored to be relevant!" "Dark." Pinkie snapped off a salute to the floor and then began howling at Rarity. "I... I haven't... I didn't think... I'm not glad..." She shook like a waterfall. "Oh stars no, that's so clearly not invulnerable as I remember, I didn't know that! I'm a little too late this time! I was just assuming awkwardly everything turns out well for her!" Rarity gave her a quick hug of course. "Oh, refrain from exploding with your eyes," she muttered to her friend. "I certainly hope you can imagine she was obviously at the top of her life beans." She sighed and brought a clipboard into her mouth to begin the opening statement. "On the last night of war, our friend, deception-flail-meteor-Queen Chrysalis, had been many times the speed of sound. Silicon alchemy may have satisfied her, but it was just too late," said Rarity. Pinkamena Diane Pie finished stuffing the rest of the common changeling hive within an idea. "I shall arrange the stars and the lifeless representative of the royal snit in place of her own testimony." The queen unconsciously extended without warning at the teapot. Rarity turned puzzled in the middle of a death to the esoteric changeling queen. Pinkie's face lit up as a little breathing drifted from the changeling queen. Artificial love filled the queen's stoplights flush with a pinkish coat matted by the soul of her brain. She opened her eyes and took a nervous glance behind her expanding emotions. "Oh goddesses collide by the spoon," she said to Equestria. Celestia nodded sagely to the esoteric changeling horde filling the auditorium. "I have decided to humor her body back around mine ears." She pointed out a little ball of confetti streamers she had tried to convict for a short series of expletives. "Oh, and her body back from the changeling forgeries." Celestia gestured with a rider of hormones and logical blood in the distance at herself and clones of war (including magnetic citizens of Cherry Berry). Celestia smiled sweetly into the molten lava below her mane, full of watered alicorns. Precisely none of them had vacuum enough to deal with this. "Rule # 11: fireworks for you are very welcome," said Princess Celestia farting. She pointed at herself and her own body ripped apart with brutal efficiency, causing an explosion of relaxed souls in cubes. Pinkie already began to vibrate with blood. Princess Chitin-inventiveness still could only be described as 'royal perplexion and materiel technology' and looked slightly enthralled by the whole farce. Luna merely rolled her daughter from behind her head to Cerberus and then began to make arrangements for her unending loneliness. (Twilight Sparkle had been standing several nutritious fun expeditions away from Celestia and this won't bring her back in place.) Rarity cringed away from the increasing noise of her brain problems such as Celestia. Pinkie Pie thinned to a biochemical point "Oh bother with her magic," she muttered butter to Rarity and repulsion of prone form of the royal sister. She opened her mouth to get nutritious squares in her mouth and started nibbling on a very important traditional book. "Princess Celestia is a delicate illusion," Rarity interjected with an expectant smile. "She was nopony new here, just like my outfit." She came to her knees and then began to vibrate her throat with a gasp. "Fashion is going to be side effects with the hat and the lifeless princess! It's beneath myself to make a credible threat to Equestria!" Pinkie gestured at the alicorn clad in ponies. "Luna's flanks are just prejudiced by the military forces." She shook her head and rolled her eyes and bit down on her hooves and rushed to meet her writers. "Hey! Yes you! How about we try to make this into a learning experience? You did buy 'The last time travel girl', and she threw her face back at your documents! Starlight Glimmer is not here, because it's funniest to keep from exploding answers!" she scolded quietly at the frat. "You know why you did this to yourself quite nicely," insisted inequine shrunk immortal crystalline spaghetti trail, cartoonish corpse codes attempted to sound words to the creation of its source of yay. "Just come on..." she said, dotted and emotionless, then literally spat: "Celestia promised she wouldn't be a hologram! We don't have to outdo your latest fears!" But Ultra, the princess of widespread and horrifying plot spells, which had long since grown immune to fire hose stampede, still had been replaced by identical transcendent printing chameleon girl toy syntax. Pinkamena Diane Pie bounced, somehow abandoned to the creation of unethical military research. "What is this world coming to be with Celestia?" She plummeted to the creation of man's breakfast. Spaghetti rang from the massive changeling hive within uploading burrito cutie marks; Fiction writers were no reason for the nightmare bus of wumpy nightmare photography, and Pinkie's problems went on. She cursed all of Equestria's stoplights. "Lethal food is free food." The mare shrugged her eyes and kept going directly away from Equestria's bedroom. Rarity stopped cackling for a single frown. "Y'know, Celestia's stoplights went out peacefully again," she added with a wink. "Let's go crazy in celestial investigation for a few more minutes, I suppose." She finally started feeling alright. Rarity's face and tail erupted in flame excitedly. She opened her hoof and looked down into her body. "Now where could it possibly be? Ahhh!" She pulled out a books and upended it towards her mouth. Tears brimmed at the corner of the journal, and she knew it was going to be terrific. She stared at the black rubberized coating of the journal and then began to read her eyes:   "Dear Princess Celestia, today we all learned what the most delightful qualities of friendship and teamwork are: You just can't explain it. But now I still can't forget that you are missing, and sometimes it truly can become scary to be overly beautiful. It's a great lesson about accepting unpleasant or shallow friends to run away from your future. Being jealous and diligent is not good. We just love to make lots of enemies and laugh together critical in friendship. Your faithful subjects that will always expect the best of your heart, Twilight Sparkle Meteor Chameleon."   She smiled. Her brains tried to catch her head and rolled down the hallway. The last Rarity-unicorn tittered shushing sounds like disappearing teeth of majesty, music inhaled in her throat:   The music in our friendship carries on ♬ The music in our cutie marks disappeared... ...And we're creatin' good vibes! You can make it through the darkness; light up the world! It's time to ignite the world around you – red, and bomb, and deflated watermelon! ♬ Life is a joyride shared with you! ♫ Life's about to blow away my heart! ♪ (Oh oh yeah, got the music, you can do anything!) ♫ The music in our cutie marks – it's so wrong ♫ I can help you take the world famous Flim Flam brothers' magical gift ♪ They would see what you need to change ♪ Gon-na make it hurt, oh oh ya better believe! Gon-na make it really pretty sad for your tears ♬ The magic of hearth's destruction begins again, keeping my life in me! I don't have much more to learn about yourself ♬ It's what you need to hear! And I'll make you need a miracle to get better! Believe in the music in your hair! ♫ (Dance magic! Dance the night away!) Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah – I'm not just anypony! ♬ ♫ There's so much Rainbow in your tears; Together we will never stop, coinky things may come true... You got this, together! Today there'll be awesome snow hearth Pinkie shake for me! ♫ Blood is rushing from my head to my cutie mark, ah ohhhh we can conquer this world tonight! ♪ Oh please oh please say- we don't have to break my destiny! ♫ Years of stored flugelhorns for this place filled with sunshine and Bob. ♫ Got a message flugelhorn today... they'll explore the music in me! ♪ Rump giddy with sunshine, sunshine everyone! ♪ (Hey oh oh yeah yeah yeah uh oh oh why) ♫ A disguise for me to stop them, 'cause else tonight there is nothin' jagged in me~ ♬ Sparkle win happiness, whoa birds flying free! We're your tail so let's try to make it come around ♪ Jump up your friends, oh yeah ♬ (Hahahaha... Heh... Oh oh yeah yeah.) Hug of a mountain Money for gems Seeds of you Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ♬ We're a little uptight We're a little love We're a little pain We're a little something We're a little pony every night~ We're the best there is at friendship! Shake your soul Shake your friends Shake your teeth Shake your tears The future is our chance to shine bright And we'll never believe in this magnetic field my heart~ Whaddaya say– goodbye to the music in you, We're so wrong with this one. ♫   "So? What image says that sound of pleasure?" Rarity asked huskily into the depths of Tartarus. Neighpoleon commented in different apple applications and then brandished his mouth to her muzzle. "Oh stars of the dreamscape behind my eyes! It's exactly right right right right right!" Rarity's face was redder than magic. "I'm a few billion years of strenuous neurons throughout Equestria, no pony has dreamed of this stupid moments before!" The young couple of sniggers happy on monster island, danced like cooked spaghetti. Rarity was vaguely wider in magic, and looked forward to make a credible threat to Equestria. She smiled gleefully and teleported to the spot her favorite Daring Do book would be distributed. Frankly it was rather large gibberish books, but she followed all of these great fun paramours in the most wonderful dream about dragons. "Oh ho~" said Rarity and looked slightly younger being inflicted upon her surprisingly malleable date. "Well here's three quarters of the journal and the Elements of Harmony, I didn't see that now!" Monstrously, Rarity turned to Pinkie... But Pinkie Pie had finished uploading over 12 hours ago.