Beebee suddenly awoke with an ear-splitting scream. His eyes snapped wide open, darting around in frantic terror. His mind was racing and foggy, his breath came in ragged and terrified gasps, and his lungs burned as more screams and wails that he was unable to suppress echoed through the pitch dark room.
He was scared- no, he was completely terrified. He was covered in a thick layer of cold sweat, his stomach churned and twisted with revulsion at the bitter and rancid taste in his mouth, and he had no idea what was going on or where he was.
But more than that, he was alone. He screamed out again, some instinct in him driving him to call out for help, hoping that someone, something, anything would come and be with him. His hooves curled up close to his chest, and he tried to make himself look as small as possible, weeping hysterically.
He wasn’t sure how long he was like that before a nearby door suddenly slammed open, and a blindingly bright light flooded the room. He squinted as it flooded his retinas, then scrambled back, when he saw a tall shadow rapidly approaching him from that light. He screamed again and tried to back away, but his spine hit a wall, which only drove his fear to new heights.
He could barely see through the tears that were pouring freely out of his eyes, but he was just able to make out the shadow reaching for him. He cried and cowered away from it, screwing his eyes shut.
He felt something, a hand, wrap itself under his belly and start to lift him. He shrieked in a panic, desperately trying to get away. But when he felt how warm the hand was, instinct took over. He latched onto the arm it was attached to for all he was worth, clinging to it like a lifeline.
The arm lifted him up, and soon, he was being held tightly against the warm skin of someone’s bare chest. The hand that had lifted him up held him in place, while another one came and began to gently pat the back of his head.
Beebee could hear soothing sounds and words being whispered into his ear, and the world slowly rocked back and forth in a gentle, comforting motion. Slowly, ever so slowly, his fear and terror began to subside, and his mind steadily came back to him. Unbounded relief began to flood his system as he realized what had happened.
“It was just a nightmare…” he thought to himself in relief before tightening his hold on Eventide and weeping into his chest. “Just another nightmare…”
All the while, Eventide just held onto him, rocking him back and forth and whispering to him. “It’s okay Bee. It’s all gonna be okay. I’m here. I’m right here. You’re okay…”
They stayed like this for a long while, Beebee’s shuddering breaths slowly calming down and his body relaxing. Finally, after almost ten minutes, he leaned back and looked up into the worried expression of his father with tears still leaking out of his eyes. Eventide offered him a gentle, reassuring smile. “Hey, Beebee. You okay now?” he asked, his voice still hushed and gentle.
Beebee sniffled and nodded, opting to not speak for now. His throat felt absolutely raw from all of his screaming.
“Nightmares again?”
Beebee hesitated when he heard that, and his face fell with shame. All the same, he nodded and gave a quiet hum of acknowledgment.
Eventide sighed before standing up and carrying Beebee out of his room and for the stairs. “Do you remember what happened this time?” he asked in a whisper as he ascended for the first floor of the home.
Beebee shook his head. He never could remember his nightmares, as they had discovered some time ago. He’d had them for as long as he could remember, but never once was he able to recall anything that happened in them. Just vague feelings and distant sensations…
Whatever he was dreaming of must have been pretty horrific, though, considering how he reacted every time he woke up. At least now he was able to stay awake after one of them.
The two fell quiet as they passed through the living room. Beebee glanced over towards one of the windows and saw that it was still dark outside. Frowning, he gently poked Eventide on the chest with a hoof to get his attention. “Dad? What time is it?” he asked quietly, his voice hoarse.
Eventide paused to glance at a clock. Beebee’s frown deepened when Eventide visibly winced, and the air around him shimmered with disappointment and exasperation. “...Early,” was his simple response before continuing on his way.
Beebee wilted and nuzzled into Eventide’s chest in apology. He started chittering quietly when he felt Eventide squeeze him just a little closer. “...I’m sorry I woke you up.”
“Don’t be sorry, Bee. You needed me, I came. It’s as simple as that,” Eventide rebuffed before stepping into the dining room. He flicked on the overhead lights, then set Beebee down on the surface of the dining table. “Okay, sit down and get comfy. I’m gonna make us both some hot chocolate, okay?”
Hot Chocolate? Beebee tilted his head in confusion, watching as Eventide walked across the room for the counter. “Hot chocolate? Why not go back to bed?” he questioned before a loud yawn slipped out of him. “I’m still sleepy… and hot chocolate doesn’t feed me...”
“I know, and you can go back to bed if you want,” Eventide replied, pausing by the counter. He turned to look at Beebee, his face the definition of worry. “But I just want to make sure you’ll be alright. You haven’t had one of your nightmares in a few months, and, well…” he sagged and looked down a little. The air around him grew dense with worry and undertones of dread. “...You reacted pretty violently this time. I’m worried, that’s all...”
He then reached up and opened up a cabinet to reach for the cocoa mix. “And I know hot chocolate doesn’t feed you, but… well,” he closed the cabinet and gave Beebee a sideways smile. “I know you like it all the same. It’s warm and yummy, right?”
“Right… okay,” Beebee acknowledged quietly. He didn’t say anything else for the time being, instead just watching as Eventide got to work preparing a couple of mugs of microwave hot chocolate. In no time, the appliance thrummed into life. A few minutes later, five loud beeps rang out from the microwave, and Eventide soon returned to the table with two mugs of steaming hot chocolate in his hands.
“So, go through it with me again. What do you remember about it?” he asked in a quiet and soothing voice as he set down Beebee’s mug in front of him.
Beebee chose not to answer at first, instead, flicking out his forked tongue to test the temperature of his drink. It was a little too hot for him at the moment, so he sat back and scuffed the tabletop with his hoof. his frown deepened as he pondered the request. “Um… well...“ he paused and shivered as he thought back on it. The feelings he could remember, however vague and murky, were more than enough to draw another anxious whimper out of him. “Do I… do I have to, dad?”
Eventide took a sip from his mug, set it down, and shook his head with sympathy. “No, but I would appreciate it if you did. I wanna know what you’re dreaming about. The more we know, the more we can do to make it better in the future.”
Beebee nodded before shuffling forward. Eventide got the idea and hefted the bug into his arms and against his chest again. Beebee took a moment to seek comfort in the warmth and love Eventide was radiating, and soon, he was relaxed enough to speak. “Okay, um… W-well,” he began, his voice still shaking. “I remember feeling warm and safe… kinda like whenever you hold me like this. But… then I felt terrified, and I remember being in pain. It was really cold, too…
“I remember tasting anger, hate, sadness, and fear. More than I’ve ever tasted from you, Fluttershy, or even when the school went red a couple years ago. It was so horrible... I felt s-sick, and like I was burning up inside. And I remember feeling… just sad. Sad and alone. Like there was nobody there for so long. I remember feeling like I couldn’t breathe… I remember being lonely…”
Eventide hummed softly while giving Beebee another gentle pet. “Anything else?” he asked in a whisper, squeezing Beebee a little closer.
“No… that’s all I can remember,” Beebee whispered back. “Just like always…”
A heavy silence hung in the air after that. Eventide eventually set Beebee back down by his mug. “Alright, well… if you ever remember anything else, don’t wait to tell me, alright?” he instructed before taking another sip of his own.
Beebee nodded. “Okay, Dad…” and with that, they enjoyed their drinks in peace. Beebee had to admit that, even if the hot chocolate did nothing to satiate his hunger, it was relaxing all the same. The warmth it filled his body with as it pooled in his belly drew a quiet hum of contentment out of him, and he felt his senses liven up a little.
As they finished their drinks, Beebee caught sight of the barest hints of light from outside the kitchen’s sliding glass door. Perking up and curious, he leaned to one side to get a better look and realized that the sun was starting to rise. He could now see the silhouettes of the trees through the glass, and he could just see the first golden glow of the sun between the leaves. “Sun’s coming up,” he noted quietly, not wanting to break the tranquil atmosphere.
Eventide glanced over to look and nodded. “Yeah… I was going to get up in a couple of hours, anyway. If you had to have a nightmare, you picked a pretty good hour for it.”
Beebee pouted and lightly smacked his hoof against Eventide’s hand, making his draw it back. “That’s not funny!” he stated in irritation. “I don’t like having nightmares, dad. They suck, and I wish they’d just stop!”
Eventide recoiled from the sharp remark, and Beebee’s own annoyance quickly faded away when he saw Eventide’s regret starting to fill the air around him. Both of them sagged, but neither of them spoke.
They didn’t need to. They understood at this point.
Several hours later.
“Okay, Beebee, I gotta get to work,” Eventide called out as he made his way for the front door of the house, his hair still damp from the shower and his shirt still not tucked into his shorts. He passed by the bug in question, who was currently using the backrest of the couch as a perch to keep a watch over the room.
Beebee had to resist the urge to sigh in disappointment at the news. This was always the worst part of his day, every time. Eventide would be gone for between six and ten hours, and in that time, Beebee would be all alone, save for Buddha. Even now, he could feel that creeping feeling of loneliness and isolation building up in the back of his head, despite his own stubborn insistence that he had no reason to feel that way.
Thankfully, Eventide wasn’t gone just yet, and his voice cut through the air, and Beebee’s concerns. “You know the deal, right?” he called over as he made a few final adjustments to his dark green shirt. He glanced over at Beebee inquisitively.
“Yeah, dad, I know,” Beebee replied, his wings buzzing into life and taking him into the air. He began to recite the rules as he floated closer to his father. “Don’t answer the door for anybody I don’t know, and if someone comes in the house who isn’t supposed to, I’m supposed to turn into a Collie and help Buddha scare them off.”
“Right. And?”
Beebee couldn’t help but roll his eyes in exasperation. “And don’t go outside except to let Buddha use the little girl’s room,” he repeated blandly before increasing his pace. “I know, dad. You make me repeat this every time you leave home. I’ll remember, don’t worry.”
Eventide just grinned in amusement before reaching out and tugging Beebee into a hug with his arm. “But I’m your dad. Worried about you is my default state,” he rebuked while giving Beebee a squeeze.
Beebee tried to act indignant, but he found he couldn't. He cuddled deep into Eventide’s hug, chittering quietly and savoring the contact while he still could. “I guess so…”
The two were quiet for several moments, basking in their shared warmth while Beebee soaked up some of the familial love that hung in the air around them. The dull ache of hunger in his belly faded away, and he smiled a little wider.
Sadly, their embrace could not last forever. Eventide lightly nudged Beebee away, the little guy taking back to the air and hovering so he was at eye level. Eventide smiled at him a little more gently, and Beebee frowned. There was no mistaking the small amounts of worry and concern that was flickering in the otherwise pristine aura of love.
“Why’s dad worried about me? Is he still worried about my nightmares?”
Eventide didn’t reveal anything for the time being. Instead, he opened the door and put one foot outside. “Okay, I gotta go, or I’m gonna be late. Be nice to Buddha, and I’ll see you later Beebee. I love you. Bye.”
“I love you, too, dad!” Beebee called after him before the door clicked shut, plunging the house into silence.
Beebee hovered there for almost a minute, listening to Eventide’s footfalls fade into silence, and then the distant and muffled sound of his car driving into the distance. Then, that too gave way to silence. Beebee let himself drift back down to the floor, and he landed with a heavy sigh.
He could hear Buddha slowly walking into the room, and he turned to look at her. The aura around her was a mix of several shades of blue, an indication that she was just as sad and upset that Eventide was gone. Beebee just made his way over to her, and the two brushed up against each other as they passed. A little physical affection to ease their mutual dismay for their situation.
Time slowly began to pass, and Beebee soon found himself settling down on the couch in the hopes of maybe taking a nap. He’d read through all of his books and wasn’t exactly in the mood for TV. He was still a little worn out from his early awakening, after all, and a few extra winks couldn’t hurt.
But as he closed his eyes and relaxed his body, his mind had other ideas. His muzzle scrunched up as the sensations from his nightmare came rushing back into his mind. First the comfort, then the fear and despair, then the anger and rage, then the grief and sorrow, and finally… the quiet and the solitude. Beebee shuddered at the memory, and his eyes opened up again by reflex.
Buddha looked at him from not far away, her head tilted to one side. He could see that she was curious and confused by the quiet chirps of discomfort he was making and made her way over. As she drew near, Beebee lifted his head and reached out a hoof to pet her on the head. “I’m okay…” he told her quietly. “Just remembering a bad dream, that’s all.”
Whether or not Buddha was reassured by his tone was unclear. All the same, she shoved her snout up against Beebee to give his face a few gentle licks. He chuckled quietly from the affection and sat up. “Heh, thanks, Buddha. I love you, too,” he stated with a small smile.
Buddha just wagged her tail at him, her tongue lolling out.
Beebee’s smile soon fell away, though, and was quickly replaced by an irritated frown. He set his chin back down on his hooves and blew out a puff of air. He then closed his eyes to try and sleep again. He was met with similar results as before, and let out an annoyed groan. This was going to be problematic.
Then his eyes shifted to one side and peered out into the kitchen. His mind wandered to the sliding glass door, and to the world outside. An idea began to form in his head, and he tried to force it down. It was a bad idea, and it would be going directly against the instructions that Eventide had drilled into him since day one.
But it was just so tempting...