//------------------------------// // 320. The Hoofields & McColts - Part 2 // Story: Blaze the Pony Tale // by Wolven5 //------------------------------// "TAKE COVER!!" Cheese yelled as everypony scrambled to avoid the barrage of tomatoes. He, Twilight, and Fluttershy took refuge in the McColts' storage house where Twilight tore out and crumpled a page from her portfolio while sighing, "So much for potential friendship solution number twenty-eight." "I guess we should find out why the Hoofields are launching tomatoes now," Fluttershy suggested. "And ask them why they didn't mention the wagon wheel they unpinned," Cheese added while wiping a splattered tomato off of his shirt in annoyance. Meanwhile, the Hoofields were loading tomatoes onto giant slingshots and launching them wave after wave towards the McColts' home. "One at a time, Greenhoof," Ma Hoofield instructed to one of her female relatives, "If you smush them tomaters in th' slingshot, they won' break on th' McColts!" "What are you doing?!" Ma Hoofield looked to see Twilight, Fluttershy, and Cheese arrive, the three of them looking offended, annoyed, and concerned respectively, as Twilight said, "I asked you to stop fighting!" "Oh, is tha' wha' you were hollerin' about? We thawt th' McColts rubbed you th' wrong way so we tomatered them for ya. Mah mistake," Ma Hoofield responded in a not-so-sorry tone before yelling , "STOP TH' TOMATER SLINGSHOTS!!" The Hoofields pony'ing the slingshots stopped, but a loud clank from across the valley caught everypony's attention and they all gasped to see volleys of hay bales hurtling their way! After two crashed onto one of her granddaughters and the three visitors, Ma Hoofield shouted, "RELOAD TH' TOMATER SLINGSHOTS!! Wer' gonna paint their mountaintop red!" Poking their heads out of the hay pile, Twilight, Cheese, and Fluttershy coughed and spat and shook pieces of hay out of their manes, as Twilight lamely said, "Well that didn't work. I was so sure it would!" "Twi, we haven't really done anything to get the two families to stop fighting other than ask them not to!" Cheese lambasted, "For that matter, why are they even fighting to begin with?!" "We'd better find out, and soon!" Fluttershy said as she helped a tortoise find cover in some bushes, "All this fighting is really affecting the animals around here." Finding out why the Hoofield and the McColts were fighting turned out to be easier said than done. Both sides claimed the other "knew what they did", and both claimed the other did them "a grave injustice some time ago for some reason". Thinking perhaps they could get them to find some common ground to bond over, Twilight had asked what do they do when they're not fighting. Big Daddy McColt's answer was "gettin' ready t' fight", and when Fluttershy asked what they hoped to get out of fighting, Ma Hoofield had answered "th' satisfaction o' winnin'", and Cheese's question of what winning it was they were trying to win was "th' fight, t' prove our family is th' best", "th' best at winnin'", leading to the obvious conclusion: "The only thing they have in common is that they both want to win a fight and neither of them know what it's over!" Twilight kept double-checking her notes, vainly searching for an answer. "How can I end this feud if I don't know what it's about?!" "Well, we're not gonna find out asking them! Either of them!" Cheese grumbled while massaging his temples, "Because even if we ask them to put all else aside, they'll just make some half-baked accusation that the other side is to blame..." As he and Twilight sighed, begging to feel overwhelmed, Fluttershy perked, "Ooh! Maybe somepony just needs to say they're sorry." "Fluttershy... sweet and innocent Fluttershy," Cheese gave her a flat look, "As much as I wish it were that easy, I have to say that idea is-" "Perfect!" Twilight chimed in with an upbeat smile while levitating her portfolio, "I mean, it's only friendship solution number forty-eight, but we can move it up." "Now hold your horses there, Twi-" Cheese tried to say, but the princess had already hurried over to speak to Ma Hoofield. "I told her this is a bad idea, my Cheesy Sense says so...!" Cheese muttered as he and Fluttershy followed behind a wagon holding a huge cake that Ma Hoofield was pulling. Twilight was walking beside the old mare, commending her for giving this idea a chance and coming up with this peace offering. What bothered Cheese even more was how easily Ma Hoofield caved into the notion of making amends with the McColts. "I tell ya, Fluttershy," Cheese whispered to her out the corner of his mouth, "this is not gonna end well." "Well, who knows, Cheese Sandwich?" Fluttershy responded with gentle optimism, "Sometimes all it takes is a simple gesture of kindness." They all soon approached the McColt fortress, the guard shouting, "Who goes there?" "It's Ma Hoofield!" the old mare responded just a little touchy in her tone. "HOOFIELD ALERT! Arm th' cannons!" the guard yelled, two McColt mares hoisting cannons over the wall to point at Ma Hoofield who smirked and gestured behind her. "With an apology cake!" she added with a rise of appeal in her voice. "Didjoo say... cake?" the guard uttered as he and the mares looked at the giant pastry, glimmering with glazed goodness covering its soft pastry brown sides, decorated with carrots, the bottom layer filled with pieces of fruit. "As in... cake?!" "Consider it a gesture o' good will," Ma Hoofield said in a rather generous voice, "From us t' you." The three McColt guards hesitated until one of the mares said, "Ah haven't had cake in ages!" "Open the gates!" the stallion called and the gates opened, allowing Twilight to levitate the cake inside. "Well..." Cheese had to admit, he was surprised, seeing the happy faces of the McColts gaze up at the cake with sincere gratitude, "maybe my Cheesy Sense was wrong!" One of the McColt mares uttered, with a tear in her eye, "It's such a beautiful cake!" "Think of this as more than just a cake," Twilight said, "It's the first step in the long road to forgiveness." "Huh, yeah!" Cheese finally got on board, "There's something special about sharing something sweet and delicious." "I agree. Nothing says, 'let's be friends' like a cake that says 'let's be friends'," added Fluttershy before saying to one of the McColts, "I wrote that in icing on the top." But at that moment, the cake seemed to shudder and there was some strange noise coming from it... before the top exploded open, revealing three Hoofields had been hiding inside! "FOR GLORY!!" They began throwing oranges and tomatoes at the McColts, who scrambled for cover, the Hoofields leaping down from the cake, ready for a fight... only to be caught in a net trap, courtesy of Big Daddy McColt! "McColts! Assume Delta Force Formation!!" Twilight, Cheese, and Fluttershy watched in horror as the McColts chased Ma Hoofield down their mountain, truly infuriated. But Ma Hoofield had prepared for this, as she yelled, "Ready?!...Aim! ...FIRE!!!" It turns out, she'd had the rest of her family lying in wait, prepared with traps to fire carrots, ears of corn, watermelons, and cupcakes at the McColts she'd let out into the open. Seeing the volley coming their way, the McColts quickly shielded themselves with boards of wood. "CHARGE!!" Ma Hoofield yelled, her family charging in to attack the McColts. "MA HOOFIELD!!" Twilight, Cheese, and Fluttershy landed in front of the old mare as Twilight snapped, "You hid ponies in that cake?!" "Yes! What, were you serious about apologizin'?" Ma Hoofield got up in Twilight's face, "WHY IN EQUESTRIA WOULD WE DO THAT?!" Pushing the princess out of the way, Ma Hoofield hollered towards the McColts, "WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHANG WRONG!!" "Wha're you talkin' about?!" Big Daddy McColt shouted back, "Ya done soooo many things wrong!" "Not as many as you!" Ma Hoofield argued back, getting up in the stubby-sized stallion's face before they started trading blows! It was awful and just plain despicable, as the Hoofields and McColts traded blows, threw things at each other, spat and shouted insults and barbed words, pushed each other into the dirt, pulled each other's manes- "ENOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" Everypony flinched at the sheer volume and tone and ferocity in that voice and all eyes turned to see it was Cheese Sandwich, his eye twitching, his nostrils snorting, his hoof pawing the ground, looking livid! "What in the name of the Holy Mother of Celestia is wrong with all of you?! By the Pale One, is all of this fighting and arguing and hurting each other really worth it?! None of you can even remember why your families starting fighting in the first place, which leads me to think that whatever it was that started this feud was as stupid and pointless as how you've carried it on for so long! "Do you actually enjoy hurting each other like this? How can you think it's even right to teach your foals to hate and hurt each other and continue this feud?! Not only are you hurting each other, you're hurting yourselves! Your wasting your food and your tools and so much else on this dumb fighting and one-upping the other side that I have no doubts that underneath all that delusional rivalry and blaming the other side, you're all just plain miserable! But you know what? You have no one to blame but yourselves! Do you really wanna keep fighting? Do you really wanna push your foals into carrying on this feud so they'll be just as miserable as you've all been, fighting when you can't even remember what started it all?! If your answer is 'yes' then go ahead and fight until you have nothing left! Because you're all just- just... AWFUL!!!" ... ... ... Everypony stood in stunned silence, considering Cheese's words. Everything he said had a point to it. The fighting, the wasting of resources, the bickering, it was hurting them, the Hoofields and the McColts, but they were just too proud to admit to it. Fluttershy and Twilight looked around at the silenced ponies. “Reckon he's got a point,” said Mama McColt, Big Daddy McColt's wife. “Dern right,” agreed Pappy Hoofield, Ma Hoofield's husband. However... What happened next, no one knows. Maybe the wind came, maybe Big Daddy McColt and Ma Hoofield got a bit carried away with some excited talk, maybe Fluttershy zigged when she should have zagged, but all they knew was that the Trojan Cake came crashing down and it nailed Pappy Hoofield and Mama McColt as it hit the ground and burst into tiny pieces. “THEM NO GOODS!” came a shout and...to no one's surprise, the fighting started again. Cheese was beyond seething at this point. There was no clear evidence to say who screwed up or what happened, and the blame was flying fast and furious. As for Fluttershy, she'd just saved a squirrel from being trampled and failed to get two mares to stop fighting and avoided being impaled by some carrots, that she finally called out, "Cheese Sandwich? Twilight?!" "Fluttershy, you okay?" Cheese came over to her, leading her away from the violence. "I'm fine, but where's...!" That's when she and Cheese saw a despondent Twilight walking away. They hurried over to her as Twilight being tearing out pages from her portfolio, feeling like a failure. "Um, Twilight? We should probably get back there," Fluttershy suggested, "I mean, if you need a break that's fine, but... I don't think we can do this without you." "I don't know if we can do this at all!" Twilight responded, feeling awful, "Even if we step in and get them to stop, they'll just go back to fighting again." "Oh, Twilight..." Cheese sat down next to her and gave her a one-armed hug, "I'm sorry for being the way I've been since we got here, but let's face it! The Hoofields and the McColts have been fighting each other for a very long time! All that anger and animosity isn't just gonna go away with an insincere apology or a suggestion to stop. I mean, if only we could figure out just what it is that started this feud in the first place...!" "But how?" Twilight held up her hooves, feeling helpless, "Neither of them know or are even interested in figuring it out for themselves!" *Growl* "What was that?" Twilight asked as she and Cheese turned around to see Fluttershy surrounded by little critters and animals, all of the poor things clutching their growling tummies and looking sad. That was when Fluttershy took a better look around the valley and saw how bad it really was! The grass was dry, the place was overgrown with weeds, nearly all the trees had been cut down, and the stream had long stopped flowing. Even a dry old tumbleweed ambled on by, and Fluttershy realized, "Oh, you poor things! There isn't enough food here for you." The animals all nuzzled up to Fluttershy, aching for comfort and safety, as she brrr'd, "And you're freezing!" "Well, the way they Hoofields and McColts fight each other so much, it's obvious they're not even thinking about how their feuding is hurting the valley around them," Cheese realized, "They're not even lifting a hoof to care for the land, and so the animals are suffering as a result!" "I'm gonna take you al home with me, and give you cups of cocoa," Fluttershy declared, wrapping the critters in her wings, "How do you feel about book clubs?" "I don't understand!" Twilight spoke up, "This is supposed to be the most beautiful valley in all of Equestria!" "So what happened?" Cheese asked the million bit question. "I mean, obviously the Hoofields and McColts happened, but what was it that started this whole crazy thing?!" That was when a squirrel hopped onto Fluttershy's back and started chittering into her ear, "Huh? What's that... Oh. Uh-huh...Twilight, Cheese! They know what happened here!" "They do?" Cheese asked. "Ask them to tell you, Fluttershy," Twilight asked, "The whole story..." The Hoofields and the McColts were still at each other's throats! The fighting was starting to get more violent and more injurious, and the objects thrown were starting to become heavier and more damaging. Twilight flew overhead, yelling, "Stop! You have to listen to me!" *Splut* Wiping the frosty cupcake off the side of her face, Twilight had finally had enough! "Everypony... FREEEZE!!!" From her horn she cast a spell of magenta light that enveloped every Hoofield and McColt in the entire valley. Once the light dimmed, every Hoofield and McColt was frozen in place, held in check by Twilight's magenta mana, including all objects that had been thrown, were now frozen mid-flight. Landing among the immobilized ponies, Twilight grunted and struggled to maintain the spell, "Fluttershy, Cheese! Tell them! I can't keep a whole army of ponies frozen for long!" With the critters on their backs and behind them, Fluttershy and Cheese Sandwich came forward, as the former raised her voice, "Before you keep fighting, there is something you should know! Long ago, there were two best friends, Grub Hoofield... "And Piles McColt!" Cheese added, "When they found the valley between the Smokey Mountains, they knew that they'd found something truly special." "So they made a promise to each other," Fluttershy went on, "to protect and preserve the valley for all its adorable furry inhabitants. But they disagreed on how to go about it." "Grub wanted to start by planting crops so that everypony would have something to eat," Cheese went on, "but Piles thought that they should start by building a shelter to protect them from the wild weather conditions." "The two ponies were unable to come to an understanding," Fluttershy lamented, "So Piles went ahead and started building a shelter right on the land where Grub was going to start his farm." "Grub was miffed at Piles, so he tore down the shelter Piles was working on," Cheese brought up, "And from that point on, they only fought and argued. It got worse and worse until finally it turned into a feud after both ponies got their families involved by moving them to the valley!" "The valley suffered from the constant destruction," Fluttershy wrapped it up, "until finally the Hoofields and McColts moved to separate mountains. Even then, the valley and all the animals in it continue to be caught in the crossfire." "Don't you understand now?!" Cheese admonished them but not in a scolding way but in a sincere way, hoping they would finally understand, "By fighting, all you're doing is destroying the very thing that brought you all here in the first place, and hurting the animals that have lived here long before you all moved in." "The time has come to put your differences aside," Fluttershy implored, the animals looking on with hopeful desperation, "Come together and make peace, if not for yourselves, then for the sake of all these cute and cuddly guys!" The Hoofields and the McColts, even frozen, finally felt shame and remorse for all that they'd done, as they now finally understood that they weren't only hurting each other but all these innocent creatures whose home they'd practically invaded! "Aw shucks..." Big Daddy McColt sighed as he looked into Ma Hoofield's eyes and saw his own regret looking back at him, "We ne'er meant t' hurt all you lil' critters." "Yeah, wer' sorry," Ma Hoofield agreed, feeling lower than dirt. A squirrel chittered into Fluttershy's ear and she beamed to report, "They say they accept your apology." "But now, it's time to show your apology," Cheese said firmly, "By settling your differences and working together to restore this valley back to the natural beauty that caused your foreponies to fall in love with this place." "Yer absolutely right there," Big Daddy McColt smirked until he realized a certain something, "Um, Princess? You can unfreeze us now." Grunting when she heard Big Daddy, Twilight responded, "Oh, right." The magenta auras enveloping everypony vanished- *Kerplump* -releasing them all as they finally faced each other for the first time with open hooves and good will. "Ma Hoofield, on behalf o' th' McColts, Ah promise we won' fight you no more," Big Daddy said to to her with a sorrowful look. "Us too..." Ma Hoofield replied, Except we promise not t' fight you. Ah s'pose it duzent matter who's right. We'r both wrong." "Tha's one thang we can agree on," Big Daddy nodded before they both spat into their hooves and met each other halfway. The animals smiled happily while Twilight FLASHED between Ma Hoofield and Big Daddy McColt, "This is wonderful! I am so proud of you two." "Aw, thanks, Princess," Ma Hoofield smiled... before she smarmily said, "Though Ah would like t' point out tha' Ah was first t' admit Ah was wrong." "Tha' may be but Ah promised not t' fight first," Big Daddy responded in a 'so there' tone, "Tha' counts fer more." "Oh yeah?!" Ma Hoofield was ready to start something... only for her and Big Daddy to realize the animals were chattering at them in annoyance, while everypony else was giving them looks of disapproval, annoyance, or even thinly-veiled disgust. "Oh, aw'right. We don' hav' t' speak animal t' know what y'all're sayin'." She looked to Big Daddy, "Truce?" "Truce," Big Daddy replied. For the first time in so many generations, the Hoofields and the McColts worked together. They cleaned up all the garbage and debris from all their past fighting, replanted flowers and grass and trees, got the stream flowing again, and shared in each other's company and good fortune. The Hoofields planted a field of crops that both families would share and the McColts built better housing and shelters that not only they and the Hoofields would be happy to call home but also the animals around them. They even started teaching each other, the Hoofields learned to build and construct, and the McColts how to sow seed and cultivate what they grew. As a promise to end their feud and work together, they built a fountain right in the middle of the valley, with a hedge sculpture of Grub Hoofield shaking hooves with a stone statue of Piles McColt, commemorating their foreponies and promising to live up to the promise Grub and Piles failed to keep. To protect and preserve their valley for all lived there. Before long, everypony took a break, but as they sat down to have lunch Cheese Sandwich called out, "Can I have everypony's attention please?" All eyes and ears turned to Cheese as he cleared his throat, "First off, Hoofields, McColts, I wanna apologize for the way I shouted at you all earlier." "Oh don'choo worry none," Ma Hoofield waved it off. "Yeah, you wer' right t' call us out like that," Big Daddy McColt agreed. "Be that as it may, now that you've finally ended your feud and are working together to restore this valley," Cheese whirled around, his accordion appearing between his hooves, "I wanna celebrate with you all... in song form!" He began to play as Twilight and Fluttershy shared a smirking look, "Wait for it..." How come your always such a fussy young mare Don't want no Briny Bits, don't want no Raisin Fare Well don'cha know that other foals are starving out there So eat it! Just eat it! Don't wanna argue, I don't wanna debate Don't wanna hear about what kind of foods you hate You won't get no desert `till you clean up your plate, so eat it Don't ya tell me you're full, just eat it! Eat it! Get yourself some eggs and beat it! Have some more porridge, have some more pie It doesn't matter if it's boiled or fried Just Eat it. Just Eat it. Just Eat it. Just Eat it. WHOO! Your table manners are a cryin' shame You're playin' with your food, this ain't some kind of game Now if you starve to death, you'll just have yourself to blame, so eat it Just eat it You better listen better do what you're told You haven't even touched your barley casserole You better chow down or it's gonna get cold, so eat it I don't care if you're full, just eat it! Eat it! Open up your mouth and feed it Have some more yogurt, have some more jam It doesn't matter if it's fresh or canned, just eat it! Eat it! Don't you make me repeat it! Have a banana, have a whole bunch It doesn't matter when you had lunch, Just eat it (eat it, eat it, eat it. Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it) The Hoofields and McColts partied and danced, so caught up in the music, they couldn't remember the last time any of them was so happy! And as they watched new friendships grow, Twilight and Fluttershy both felt their flanks shiver and glow, and they saw Cheese's flank glowing too, signifying their mission was complete. "Yay! I told you we'd figure it out," Fluttershy cheered. "We did, and we didn't need my friendship portfolio to do it," Twilight agreed while giving Fluttershy a hug as they watched Cheese continue to perform for the two families. "We just needed each other. Speaking of, what now? The map's called every single one of us by now, so I wonder what will happen next..." "I'm not sure, but right now..." Fluttershy felt her hooves getting trotsy, "Let's just enjoy the now." And as everyppony partied away, the valley, while still having a lot of work ahead, was already looking like a true natural beauty. Almost as it did when two friends first stumbled upon it a long time ago... as they smiled down upon their descendants, relieved and overjoyed to see their families had finally found their common bond.