//------------------------------// // Meeting Zecora... again: second curse same as the first except there’s less alpaca, more fear of zebras and one very disgruntled author // Story: Dagmire the discorded goes to Equestria // by Theboxcatgamr //------------------------------// Dagmire awoke with a start and he quickly realized that he was still an alpaca. He got out of the couch and began stretching as he let out a yawn. “Morning” Clearance said groggily “Good morning!” Dagmire replied happily “We are going to cut off the whole “alpaca” thing for a bit. We gotta go see zecora” Clearance said while grabbing a backup mask from his satchel “Ok! Here we go!” Dagmire said as the mask was put on him. Blinding white light erupted and instead to returning to normal he ended up as a green scaled Dragonborn just like his father. “Oh! Well I guess this is me for the next month or so. Eh beats being stuck in a nearly useless body” Dagmire casually said while adjusting the mask that oddly enough fitted his snout “...” Clearance was quiet as he looked at Dagmire in reflection “What? Let’s go!” Dagmire said joyfully “Right! Ok let’s go” Clearance said while leading the way They both left and made their way to the forest after they prepared themselves at the bar for the possibility of a fight “Alright So now we got about half an hour to get to her house-“ Suddenly a hooded zebra walked past them and entered the town “Oh or she could come here I guess” Clearance said awkwardly “Wait that’s her? Cool. Let’s say hi” Dagmire said happily They followed the zebra through the town and saw everyone who was open suddenly close their shops when Zecora walked by “Huh. Strange.” Dagmire stated Zecora stopped in front of a shop that sells flowers and herbs (no not the weed type of herb. This is Equestria not Canada) and started digging into the ground with her hoof in what seemed to be frustration “Hello!” Dagmire said causing the zebra to turn around She seemed to inspect Dagmire for a moment but stopped when she spotted Clearance and smiled “Hi Zecora! This is the friend I was talking about. His name is Dagmire” Clearance said happily “Greetings my friend! It is good to see you again. I am Zecora of the trees of the everfree.” Zecora said “Charmed. Anyway I was told you make masks?” Dagmire said Zecora nodded and explained to Dagmire what masks she had while rhyming the whole time. She began leading them to her house in the forest not noticing the small filly that also followed. After a moment of walking they heard applejack call out to apple bloom. Seeing the ponys were dangerously close to some rather shady flowers Zecora belted out a warning “Beware! Beware, you pony folk! Those leaves of blue are not a joke!” “you keep your creepy mumbo-jumbo to yourself, ya hear!” Applejack said while everyone except twilight and spike began shouting at Zecora. This caused her to retreat back into the woods without Clearance and Dagmire “Oh. Good. Now could you explain to me exactly what the heck you were all doing?” Dagmire said while trying his hardest to keep it PG “*Gasp* oh no! She put a curse on Dagmire!” Pinky said in alarm “Nah. I just got one of those faces” Dagmire said while giving a toothy grin to the elements “I thought you said that the alpaca was your true form?” Twilight asked accusingly “Listen are you sure you want to ask that question?” Dagmire said “Ugh whatever. Point is that curses don’t exist!” “Than what in tarnation is up with Dagmire” Applejack said with her southern drawl “This is a curse-“ “AHAH!” Applejack cut in “-But it’s one I’ve had since I was a small child” Dagmire finished a bit annoyed Twilight completely fed up with the situation decided to just leave. The rest of the group followed shortly after. One day later Dagmire awoke with a start and slowly got out of bed. He made some breakfast and began washing a dirty mug when suddenly he heard a scream come from the library. “Oh god I hope Cletus didn’t drop in on them.” Dagmire said with genuine concern “Eh knowing him he’s still taking care of those porcupine’s on his farm.” Clearance said a bit drowsily “Heh! I still prefer his name for them. Prickle-pigs” Dagmire said “Well as long as we don’t say his name three times he shouldn’t pop up out of nowhere” “Yeah. We might need him at some point though. “(Sigh) whoever decided to give that hillbilly immortality was an idiot” “Hey That “hillbilly” is my cousin! And he can still die!” Dagmire said defensively Clearance rolled his eyes and smiled “Well What should we do now?” Clearance asked “Let’s go see what the others are up to.” Dagmire said while opening the door - two minutes later “Spike?” “(Snirk) Yeah Dagmire?” “Why does Twilight’s horn look like it has erectile disfunction” This sent spike into hysterics and Twilight was flush with embarrassment. The rest of the elements entered the library with strange afflictions as well “Ok. So: pinky has been gagged with her own tongue, Twilight’s horn can’t get it up, rainbow Dash keeps ramming into shit like a goat on the sticky icky, Fluttershy sounds like the guy who sold the meth to said goat from before, and applejack is small” Dagmire summarized The group expressed there outrage at their current situation and cursed Zecora more while Dagmire decided that he was done listening to their bitching. Dagmire left and made his way to the forest. He eventually arrived at Zecora’s house/hut and explained the situation She was a bit miffed that they ignored her warnings but she let it go quickly. Apple bloom entered the hut and Dagmire told her what was up while Zecora asked them to go collect ingredients. A little bit later more shouting emanated from the hut and it was at this point that Dagmire was done with the element’s shit. Instead of telling them off Dagmire elected to simply scream at them “...what was that about?” Twilight asked “Oh god I need a pint of the good stuff right now. It’s been nice seeing you Zecora but I’m going to go back to the bar. Your always welcome or something” “Thank you Dagmire. But why are you so wrathful over such a small rut?” “Hell if I know. Oh wait that’s right! I really dislike it when people shun others. Good by!” Dagmire said while jumping through the window to escape the hotbox of racism and save this poor author from the absolute shit show that was writing this sub par chapter