//------------------------------// // For All the Mares or Mr. Tiberius // Story: Iron Will vs. Mr. Satan // by Sparkle Cola //------------------------------// Chapter Three “I won’t repeat myself again! Let me out of this bubble, you blue horse! Pulling me right out of the World Martial Arts Championship, what the hell were you thinking? I can’t let my fans down, I’ve gotta go back! Are you listening to me?” Mr. Satan watched as the smaller purple horse shook her head before making her way up the stairs and out of the chamber. She didn’t seem to want to stick around at all, giving an apologetic smile and saying something before she left. Wait, saying something? That couldn’t be right. Whatever she said, though, the larger blue one didn’t look pleased. After watching the smaller one go, Blue Horse’s eyes found his, narrowing slightly as she approached, step by measured step. Impossibly, her mane started to increase in it’s meandering flow, dancing about as if it were under the influence of water currents… Either that or hallucinogenic drugs. And that’s when her horn began to glow. Wait, flowing hair? Those other fighters back on planet earth, the ones that defeated Cell… when their hair started flowing like that was when things went crazy… mountains started blowing up and stuff—   Glowing horn? Well, those other fighters lit up with some kind of energy over the rest of their bodies, too. Was this horse about to kill him? This didn’t look good. Hercule rapidly backed up until the back of the bubble slapped up against his prodigious, er… chiseled backside. He held up an arm, waving it frantically, er… emphatically to get the blue horse’s attention. “Uh, now—let’s not be hasty! I’m sure this all just some big misunderstanding, right? You were probably just stopping in to grab a corndog, or maybe some of the universe’s best coffee on your way through, and you got a little disoriented! Probably just amazed at my awesome fighting style, right? Or maybe you just wanted my autograph? Well, the great Mr. Satan never lets down a fan—uh, I even got a pen!” He took a few tentative steps forward. “Where do you want me to sign?” “Silence, hue-man!” The blue horse sure did have a set of pipes, and she didn’t sound very happy. “Is every member of your species so verbose and annoying?” “Well, I’m sure there’s a few, but as for myself, all the ladies consider me articulate and sensitive!” Mr. Satan crossed his arms proudly. “I also have a world-wide following and the biggest fan club on the planet, 88% of them female! I’ve sold out fight arenas thirty-eight times in a row!” “Verily?” Luna deadpanned, one eyebrow elevated to singular heights of abstraction. “In that case, we have a proposition.” Luna turned to the side, circling behind the creature as her armored horseshoes echoed off the bare walls of Twilight’s laboratory. She drew closer, her lustrous mane brushing lightly against Hercule’s opposite shoulder as she came along his side. “A proposition that shall make you famous.” “Famous?” Mr. Satan’s eyes found their old familiar fire. “Thou wilt be held in such high esteem that your name will be carried across mare’s lips throughout the land.” Mr. Satan stroked his iconic handlebar mustache. “Well. That’s nothing new. Why back on my world all of the ladies… wait, did you say mare’s lips?” I did indeed, fair creature.” Luna reared up to place one foreleg across the hue-man’s broad shoulders. “The heart of each and every mare will flutter. Thy visage will bring about such feelings of intense—” “—Whoa, whoa slow down there missy. I’m not sure I want mares getting any intense feelings of—” “—Our name is Princess Luna.” “Blue pony says what now?” Luna stood taller, making sure to display her full regal station. Her mane billowed with energy, the constellations of her mane lighting up all the brighter in their singular grace. “Forgive us our manners, fair combatant. You may call us Princess Luna, Ruler of the Night.” “A princess, eh?” Mr. Satan scratched at the stubble across his noble jawline before going on in a more subdued voice. “One that seems to suffer from pronoun trouble.” Luna’s mouth hung open for a second, before she returned his scrutinizing gaze with a glare. “Well then! Now that I’m talking to someone that’s in charge, maybe this misunderstanding can be resolved, and you can get me back to my tournament. I have my adoring fans to get back to after all— there’s no telling what may happen if I don’t win like I’m expected to!” “But what about all of the innumerable fans you would have here?” Luna frowned. “What of the mares?” Mr. Satan scratched at his head for a moment. “I’m not sure what you think I’d find enticing about that, so… I’m just going to wait over there where that glowing light used to be. If that purple horse was responsible, let’s make sure she fixes it pronto!” It was at this moment that a small gray possum came out from behind Luna’s mane. As soon as the furry grey creature took notice of the visitor, he scurried across the laboratory floor whiffling and sniffing as he went until he got to the side of Mr. Satan’s leg. Princess Luna watched with concern, a hoof brought up to her lips. “Well!” Mr. Satan’s face broke into a broad grin as he got down to one knee, holding a hand out for the little possum to sniff. “Who is this little guy?” Without hesitation, the possum clambered up his arm and perched upon his shoulder, nose twitching before he made himself comfortable. “Aw! Well, aren’t you just the most precious thing?” Mr. Satan stood up, looking back to Princess Luna who was struggling to hide her growing smile. “What?” “Why don’t you try just a single match, Mr. Satan? My opponent’s champion has bested my own chosen representative for twenty-seven times now.” Luna’s eyes somehow grew larger and watery, while her lower lip began to quiver. The sight was starting to wrench his manly heart and turn it to putty. “Why, even my darling little sidekick, Tiberius there, has been in a blue funk. So many matches without a victory! So many times he’s had to hide his face in shame! You don’t want to see little Tiberius like that? Do you?” Now Luna was cocking her head to the side, and her eyes had somehow grown enormous. It was more than he could take, as his heart began to do palpitations in his chest. Mr. Satan cleared his throat before he stood straight and tall, his fists perched defiantly on his hips. “Well, that just won’t stand at all. Getting our little Tiberius blue, you say? Now you’re speaking my language!” Mr. Satan leaned back and released a loud and boisterous laugh. “Whatever this chump is doing to defeat your representatives, it comes to an end, here and now! We’ll see what he can do against my Fearful Fist attack!” “Huzzah!” Luna cheered, glomping onto Mr. Satan from behind, nearly scaring the curl right out of his hair and causing him to stumble forward. “Come! There is much for us to discuss and prepare! The next match comes up this weekend. You’ll stay in my most luxurious guest suite! You’ll have whatever foodstuffs and training materials you require! Come, my Knight of the Night!” Mr. Satan settled down from his surprise, now that he was used to the weight of the smaller blue mare hanging on his shoulders from behind. He rubbed his ear in pain from the sheer volume of the grinning, excitable princess. “Night of the night? Isn’t that a little redundant?” “Nonsense!” Princess Luna snorted. “Come! Let us depart!” With a flash of her horn they both disappeared, leaving Twilight’s silent as if nothing had happened. To be continued...