“Hold on what” said Lyra “Rewind your fucking mouth. How we supposed to make a entire new element of harmony?
“It is simple,” I said to her. “You see, the elements of harmony is six pieces of things that friendship cannot exist without. For example, loyalty is neede for friendship.”
“I see.”
“And that is also true for the other elements like lauighter and kindness and whatever the others are. Oh and also magic. Frienship cannot exist without magic, which is why friendship does not exist in the human world.”
“But I thought friendship is magic?” she said.
“No,” I said. “Magic is things like levitation and card tricks and communism. Friendship is friendship.”
“Okay,” said Lyra “But how is that going to help us make a new element?”
“We gotta find a new thing that is importentrigal to friendship. Tell me: What is something that is important for being friends?”
“Honesty?”
“Yeah but thats already an element, you nut head. We need something that ISNT already one!”
“What about sex?”
“What”
“Because friends with benefits.”
“No you don’t need to have sex with people to be friends with them. Im friends with lots of people like you and I never fucked them. I am not a furry”
“Aw,” said Lyra. “I wish there was a element of sex.”
“Stop thinking like that” I said and I slaped her across the nothing. “You need to think serious or else we will never solve this.”
“Fine” said Lyra “Maybe Celstia can help us?”
“Oh yeah that’s a good idea.” I said. So I opened my phone and called my car and my car dorove over to me and Lyra and we got in. Then I droved out of Ponyville and onto the traine tracks to Canterlot.
“Jakkid are you sure it’s a good idea to drive on the train tracs?” said Lyra.
“Yeah sure its fine.” I said but then we heard a NOISE! It was a TRAIN HORN
I looke behind us and there was the train coming to almost run us over! “SHIT!” I said and I flored it but the car actually was outa gas for like 5 minutes so we had just been sitting still.
“Dammit jakkid what do we do?!” said Lyra.
“Wait” I said and I got an idea. “HOLD ON TIGHT LYRA”
“WHAT?” she said and she helded on and the TRAIN HIT US
And the train pushe my car all the way up to Canterlot and stopped.
“Sweet” I said and I jumped out of my car with Lyra. “Now lets go to Celesita.”
So we broke into Canterlot castle and went in the throne room, but standing there was not Celestia. It was LUNA!
“Wait what the hecks?” I said. “Hey Luna, where is Celestia?”
“I art sorry Jakkid, but thou cannot see Celestia Right now. She has been injured in a tragic bob sledding accident.”
“Wellc an you make a new element of harmony?”
“No because I suck.”
“God damn it!” I said. “Fine. Okay Lyra I guess we gotta figure this out ourselfs.”
“Im getting tired of this” said Lyra. “I wanna do other things now.”
“What tha fuck?” I said. “No, we gotta solve the MYSTERY!”
“But how tho? We have no clues.”
“Okay well if we cannot figure out a new element that is friendship, we must think OUTSIDE THE BOX!”
“What?”
“We need to think. What is YOU good at?”
“Music!”
“YEAH!” I shoute and I did a detective cartwheel. “You are a big good music pony! You play instrument music with whatever your insturment is called.”
“Liar.”
“What no Im not lying. How dare you”
“No I mean my instrument is a liar.”
“How can a instruement tell lies? Lyra you have ben drinking too much stupid juice today.”
“For fuck’s fuck” said Lyra “Okay never mind. But how can we make music a element of harmony?”
“Simpel!” I said. “We need to make you the BEST music player in all of Equestria.
“But how?”
“Hmm,” I said “Ive GOT IT!” I said. “We need to bring in a good music guy to come in and teach you! My favorite living music person of our entire earth.”
“Whos that?”
“You will see” And I puled out my interdimensional phone and called the Los Angeles police depatment. “Hello Dick Gumshoe?”
“Hey Pal how you doin in Ponyville?”
“Good” I said. “Anyway can you guys go arrest Billy Joel and bring him here?”
“What why do you need Billy Joel?”
“For IMPORTANT STUFF! Now go do it please.”
“Alright fine pal.” And I hung up and waited a few minutes. Then a PORTAL appeared and a guy fell through it! He got up and I saw who it was instantly.
“Hello,” said the guy. “I am Billy Joel. Also, what the fuck is happening right now”
“Hey Billy Joel I need you help!” I said and I pointe to Lyra. “She needs to become the best music player in the entire world of Equestria. So I decide to call upon my second most favorite music artist in the world to come assist us.”
“Wait second favorite?” said Billy. “Whos your first favorite”
“David Bowie,” I said. “But I couldn’t bring him here because of reasons.”
“Oh yeah.” he said and we had a moment of sad silentce. “Alright jakkid I’ll help you, but only because you save my life in South Korea that one time.”
“Sweet” I said.
“So, pony,” said Billy Joel. “If you want to become a good music player you ned to learn to play good music, like my music. But we gotta figure out what one of my songs you should learn to play.”
“I GET TO DECIDE” I shouted. “Hmm. We need something good. What is a song good for playing on whatever Lyras instrument is called?”
“Well its a string instrument,” said Lyra. “So something with strings.”
“ive GOT IT!” I said. “PIANO MAN!”
“Oh yeah good choice,” said Billy Joel.
“Yeah its perfect!” I say. “Now go do it I dont have all day. Detective jakkid166 is a busy detective e, and a loose cannon.”
“Alright fine,” said Billy Joel and he and Lyra went off to learn how to play Piano man on the Lyra instrument.
~ 3 WEEKS LATER ~
3 weeks layer I was still standing in the same spot waitin for them and I saw them walking up to me. “Are you guys fucking done yet? I am starting to get hungry”
“Yep,” said Billy Joel “She is a master lyre player now.”
“Sweet” I said and I took my interdimensional phone out and made a portal back to Los Angeles with it. “Alright you can go back home now”
“What about you fucking paying me money for this?”
“I’ll pay you LATER!” I said and I shove him back thru the portal. “Anyway Lyra are you ready to show off you skills to the entire world of Ponyville?
“Yes,” said Lyra. “Hopefully this will make every pony remember me.”
So lyra and me went to set up the stage in front of all of Ponyville for everyone to watch. It was now night time and the entire town was watching and th show was about to start and I was back stage with Lyra. “Okay Lyra are you ready for this?”
“Hell fuck I am,” said Lyra.
“Good,” I said and I step out to te stage. “LADIES and GENTLEMEN and WHATEVER ELSE of equestria! I am Detective jakkid166, and I am here to present you the bigest best music show all of your eyes have ever watched. This will be so awesome you will shit a bitch! So without further applause, here is Lyra Heart strings.”
So Lyra came on the stage with her string thing and said “Hi everyone I am Lyra Heartstrings.”
“Hi Lyra heartstrings I have never met you before.” Said the entire crowd
“I am here to play you a peece of music better than anything ponies have ever made.” She said. “It is called piano man.” And she started playing piano man on her instrument and singing it.
And as she sung it all the ponies of Ponyville got all weepy eyed and starte crying cause of how beautiful the music was, and they all wold have felt bad for forgetting her but they couldn’t because they didn’t know they didn’t remember her cause they didn’t remember her.
Even Twilight was sit there and thinking “This is amazing,” but I dident know that at the time cause she was only thinking it and I cant read minds. In fact I still don’t know it now while im writing this.
Lyra finaly finished her music and the entire town of Equestria applauded for her with their hoofs. Just then Princes Celestia came up to the stage but she was all bandaged.
“Celestia!” I said. “You are recovereing from your bob sledding injuries!”
“That’s right jakkid,” said Celestia. “And Lyra, I am sory no pony ever remembered you. But now I will fix that. I now officially pronounce you the seventh element of harmony: Music!”
And everyone applauded even more and Lyra weapt tears of joy because she was so happy. Even I clapped to her and shed like 3 tears
“Hey Celestia,” Lyra said. “Can jakkid be the eighth element of harmony?”
“No fuck off” she said.
“Shit”
“No it’s fine Lyra,” I said. “I don’t want to be an element.”
“Oh okay.”
~ the NEXT DAY ~
I was in Lyras house preparing her to go outside and see if any pony from the previous day remembered her. But she was scared.
“Jakkid im scared,” said Lyra. “What if they all still forget? Then this will all be for nothing”
“Lyra allow me to quote a famous person who exists,” I said. “You miss 100% of shots you don’t take unless you take them on accident and succeed at life anyway.”
“Who said that?”
“I did,” I said and I tripped her and made her go outside and she fell into the ground. She got up and saw she was in front of a pony! The ponys name was Twilight Sparkle.
“Oh,” said Lyra. She dident know what to say because she was scared how Twilight might respond.
I guess I might as well try, thought Lyra.
Lyra took a breath. “Hi Twilight.”
Twilight smiled. “Hi, Lyra.”
THE END