***8 months later***
They tried not to laugh.
They really did.
But they didn't try that hard.
Grogar grumbled under his breath as Sugar and Derpy rolled around, laughing their horns off. Even Tirek, his own apprentice, couldn't help but chuckle. "Oh, come off it," Grogar groused. "You, Derpy, have no room to laugh."
Derpy sobered up immediately as Sugar's laughter redoubled in volume and intensity. "Dude, not cool. Besides, at least I can cover this up." She smirked. "Have you tried dying your coat?"
Grogar rolled his teal eyes. "Much to my embarrassment, yes. I also attempted several illusion spells and even those newfangled 'colored contact lenses.'" He glared down at his pastel-pink coat. "Nothing worked."
"And here I thought I got the worst end of the Rainbow Death Laser," Tirek croaked.
"F-f-friendship L-laser," Sugar corrected, finally regaining some composure. "N-not a death laser. And I can't believe you thought your silly bells would be able to stop it!"
"For your information, my bells were more than enough to render the Elements impotent!" Grogar shouted. He winced at his higher, more feminine voice and rubbed at his throat. "I simply... didn't anticipate that they would manage to remove them from me." A single bell chimed and his yoke appeared around his neck, vanishing again a second later. "Or that they would be able to ward them to return to Canterlot. That young alicorn is refreshingly proficient in manipulating ancient artifacts. I believe my next attempt will involve manipulating her. That or dominating her mind outright."
"Good luck with that," Derpy grumbled. "There's a reason I've never tried. The mare's mind is a steal fortress. I don't know if it's from being an alicorn, being Sun-Butt's student, or being just that darn smart, but it'd be easy to deal with the Pink One's mind than hers."
A collective shudder ran through the group, and they each pulled out a roll of streamers which Sugar promptly lit on fire. "May her joy never stalk us," they chanted in unison.
"Anyway," Sugar said, tossing her sacrificial offering aside, "I believe it's my turn."
"I thought you weren't going to be using Cozy for a while," Tirek said.
"I'm not," Sugar replied. "Like I told these guys, she needs to wait a while for ponies to forget about her. Besides, all that time rotting in Tartarus will be wonderful motivation for her to seek revenge. No, I'm going to go for a Civil War thing this time around."
Derpy raised an eyebrow. "That Avengers plot? You've been through the mirror?"
"A few times," Sugar admitted. "Humans just have so many wonderful ways to commit acts of atrocity."
"Care to clue the two of us in?" Tirek asked, Grogar nodding along.
"Basically," Sugar explained, "I'm going to try to turn them against each other. Hay, I only really need to get one of them to turn her back on the rest, and no more Rainbow Friendship Laser." She frowned. "I just wish I'd been around during that Mare-Do-Well situation I've heard so much about; I would have been able to really slam a wedge between Pride-Flag and the others." She smirked. "The Element of Loyalty, betrayed by her friends. That would have been great!"
Derpy nodded along. "Yeah, missed opportunity there. I would have capitalized on it if I could, but my little Muffin had a cold that week." Seeing the incredulous stares directed her way, she glared around at the group. "What? I'm a changeling. I need love to survive. And a kid's love for her mother is extremely potent."
Tirek shrugged. "Fair enough. So," he turned to Sugar, "how do you plan to drive that wedge?"
Sugar smirked. "Well, it just so happens that I've recently taken up semi-permanent residence in Ponyville to be closer to my stalionfriend, who just happens to be the older brother of one of the Element Bearers."
Two sets of eyes widened and Derpy started snickering. "Okay, wow. That is low. You know the big guy is utterly smitten with you, right? I get a buffet just walking near you two."
Sugar tossed her mane and chuckled. "Oh, I know. I've got that stallion wrapped around my hoof. Better yet, I know for a fact that a couple of the Bearers not only swing towards the fairer sex, but also are almost as attracted to me as he is." She licked her lips. "Seeing Applejack's over-protectiveness tear them apart is going to be oh so delicious. And after that," she shrugged, "Grogar can come marching through with the Storm Army or whatever."
"It may take me a while to gather the forces," Grogar mused, "but I believe we can be ready in about half a year."
"Sounds like you've got a plan." Derpy nodded. "Well, I think this one might actually have some potential. Next time we meet up, let's have it be to discuss the ruling of Equestria under our iron hooves!"