//------------------------------// // Pilot Episode: "Living" // Story: Virgil // by Tropical Octave //------------------------------// Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. ~Mark Twain. Living "Dear Princess Celestia, Today I write to you personally because I think I might have finally stepped off the deep end. I'm not quite sure how it happened or why, but I want to be remembered for who I was before this all happened. Within this letter I give all, however few, worldly possessions to my best friend and colleague, Twilight Sparkle. I only hope that she can understand my reasoning for my coming to this...bizarre...conclusion. Your faithful student's former assistant and ward, ~Spike" "There, the last draft is finally finished," Exhaled Spike, setting down his quill while getting up from the small desk in his even smaller apartment. "And now to deal with you..." "Hey Spike, you've just got to try these spices I took from Flut...ermm...say again mate?" Virgil One Month Earlier... "Spike! Come down here!" Shouted Twilight, the music coming from Spike's bedroom downstairs, deafening her attempts at getting her companion's attention. Spike had been mooching off of Twilight for the past ten years, moving into her former alchemy lab and turning it into his own personal 'colt-cave' when he had outgrown the bed by her side. Twilight was reluctant to send Spike on his way though, after all, he was her number one assistant... The sound of breaking porcelain was barley audible over the sound of music. The thought that anypony, or anydragon could like the sound of ponies screaming into a microphone and call it music baffled Twilight. "Spike! That better not have been my Baltimare novelty collectors vase! SPIKE!" Unfortunately, Twilight's shouts fell on deaf ears. "That's it!" Twilight was fed up with Spike's lounging around. It was high time for a change. The door to the basement was now outfitted with a lock from behind, rendering Twilight's attempts at getting downstairs useless. Imagining herself in front of the couch she assumed Spike was sitting at, Twilight teleported through to the basement so she was square in Spike's face, causing him to spill cider all over the new couch. "Gah! Twilight! What in the hay was that for!" Spike shouted perhaps a little too defensively. "Spike! Did you just spill cider all over my new couch!" Twilight yelled while she telekineticlly grabbed the radio and caused it to burst into flames. "Woah! Relax Twilight, it'll co-" "No Spike! It won't come out in the wash! Besides, I'm tired of cleaning up all of your messes!" Twilight ended her tirade gasping for breaths. Looking into Spike's eyes, she knew that he knew what was coming as he sat wide-eyed looking into her deep violet eyes met his. "Spike," Twilight let out a sigh of exasperation. "We both know what's coming..." Spike very well knew what Twilight was talking about, but he couldn't accept that it was finally happening. "Twilight...y-you don't seriously m-mean..." "Yes, Spike. I do. How about we go upstairs and talk about this over brunch?" Spike had figured this day would come eventually. After a decade of nothing happening that required the elements, Spike had become more of an eight-year-old filly then the twenty-two year old dragon he now was. The more he thought about leaving Twilight forever only made it that much harder to cope with the talk that was soon to come. It had come time Spike moved out. Two Weeks Later... "Twilight, this place bucking sucks." Sighed Spike, taking in the sight that would soon be his future home. "Spike! Don't think that just because you're older that you can use that sort of language! Besides, I figured you'd be glad living this close to Rarity." Spike shrugged sagely while speaking. "I don't see why not, I'm going to be living on my own now anyway," Doing a little turn, he mentally mapped out where everything was going to be. "And this is, after all, my house, erm, apartment. And the Rarity thing? That's just an added bonus!" With a leap, Spike landed on the one piece of furniture in the mid-sized apartment. The couch. "Ahh, this'll be the life...no worries, no book duty, no work..." Spike surmised that this wouldn't be so bad after all. Twilight, not to be the bearer of bad news, tried to sugarcoat her next statement as best she could. Twilight. unfortunately. wasn't very good at sugar-coating. "Aaaactuallly," Twilight dug her hoof into the hardwood flooring. "What?" Spike sat up, perplexed where Twilight was going with this. "I, well, kinda-sorta-maybe got you," She barely managed to stifle a chuckle and retain her composure breaking the 'bad news'. "A job." "What?!? Where???" Spike was all game for doing chores....but a job? As in, a job requiring actual work? Twilight, while sincere, answered in an uproarious laugh. "P-postal service!!" "No bucking w-" *SLAP* One Week Later... "Wow...looks like this is it Spike," The purple dragon said, adjusted his mail carrier outfit to better fit his neck and collar, having been custom made for a mid-sized dragon in Ponyville, it wasn't perfect. "Your first day on the job..." Spike made his way to the door, looking back on his now fully furnished apartment. The couch, the billiards table, and, most importantly, the photo of him with all of his friends when he and Twilight had first moved to Ponyville. "Ahh...those were the days..." Closing the door and locking it, Spike walked down the metallic steps leading to his apartment. The building was a light grayish-orange, almost the same color as Apple Bloom's coat. The neighbors were likely still asleep, well, all but one that is. Having moved in almost the same time as Spike, the stallion earth pony known as 'Standing Ovation' occupied the apartment directly adjacent to Spike's own, unit 100, while Spike lived in unit 101. Unit 102 was still vacant, just the way Spike liked it. Standing Ovation was, well to Spike anyway, aggravating. Always outside walking his pet cat Willard, Standing Ovation was just a shining beacon of happiness. And Spike hated ponies like him. The only pony he could tolerate being a never-ending source of smiles would be Pinkie Pie, and he certainly wasn't Pinkie. Unfortunately, Spike had to go by his apartment each mourning to get to the Postal Center. As if on cue, Standing walked out the door the same time Spike did. "Ughh..." Spike grumbled, not wanting to deal with Standing's cheeriness so early in the morning. "Howdy neighbor! Great day to be alive huh!" Putting on his best fake smile, Spike waved to Standing Ovation as he waddled along the sidewalk towards the center of town. "Yeah! Sure is..." "Well, good luck with the deliveries! Me and Willard here have to go out for our walk! See yah' later neighbor!" Spike took one last glance at the burgundy earth pony then, with a sigh, continued at a slower pace towards his place of employment. "Boy, if it ever got any worse around here..." Six Days Later... "Another exhausting day of work...hey Twilight can you make me a-...right. I've still gotta get used to that..." Spike whispered to himself with a sigh. Spike had returned home from his thirteenth day of work at 'United Equestrians National Postal Services' and it was beginning to wear on him. From the derps he worked with to the scrooges in upper-management, Spike was beginning to realize how good he had it until Twilight kicked him out. Throwing his bag down and made his way over to the kitchen table, Spike hoped some sugar will help him feel better and calm the nerves, hard cider wasn't allowed on the job. As Spike poured the sugar-laced drink known as 'coffee' into his mug that said: 'Number One Assistant' on it, he barely noticed the piece of parchment sticking out from under door. "Huh, well isn't that peculiar..." Spike walked over to the envelope on the floor and picked it up. Using his fingers as knives, Spike opened the letter with ease. "Dear owner of unit 101, we would like to inform you that a new resident will be taking up residence in the unit directly adjacent to you, unit 102. We encourage you to welcome her to the neighborhood with a smile," "Bleh" "And make her feel at home. Warmest regards, 'Harmony Halcyon: Where your dreams are our reality.'" The Very Next Day... BEEP BEEP BEE- *CRACK* "Ughh, six a.m. already?" Growled the still exhausted green and purple dragon. Cracking his vertebrae, Spike sauntered out of bed and towards the living room where he had hung his teal and white uniform. Slipping into the ridiculous outfit, Spike continued to the kitchen where he would have to make his own breakfast. "Well, another day, another bit..." Moaned Spike, picking up a piece of wheat bread and holding it above his head. "Hope this turns out better than last time." Spike inhaled, preparing to breath a little fire onto the bread. Hopefully, it wouldn't be as burnt as yesterday's toast. That is, burnt to a crisp. Letting out a little flame from his lips, Spike coated the delicate toast in a warm green dragonfire. "Wow, this might be the first time I do this ri-" Ring Ring Ring-a-ling "Gah!" Spike shouted in surprise to the doorbell's accursed, turning the toast into a pile of ashes on the floor. "Great, just great," Spike would have to wait to be angry, somepony was at the door. "Coming!" Dragging his feet to the door, Spike yet again donned his signature fake smile. Maybe it was the postal service coming to promote him for being such a good worker... "Now that would be nice... Spike whispered as he opened the front door to his apartment. Sadly it wasn't the postal service, but a magenta colored unicorn mare he had never seen before in his life. Her coat almost reminded him of an old friend... "Umm, hello! My name is Sandy Shells, but all my friends call me Shelly. I just moved into the next apartment over from yours and, well, wanted to meet the neighbors. Are you all alone in there?" "Heh, yeah...I suppose I am..." Spike said as he trailed off into no-where, looking more at Standing Ovation's pristine lawn than the mare in front of him. "That's...nice. But, well, not to seem a burden this early in our friendship, but could I maybe, well, ask a favor...?" Shelly questioned, waving a hoof in Spike's face, beckoning for him to reveal his identity. Spike, realizing that he had not said his name yet, was snapped back to reality. "Spike! The name's Spike. It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Shells." "Miss Shells actually, I've, umm, never had a colt-friend before. All I have for company right now is my shepherd, Virgil." "A dog huh, my friend Applejack had a border collie named Winona as a pet once, I'd help groom her every now and then." Spike said, reminiscing about days gone by. "Really! I mean, wow, you must know a thing or two about dogs then right?" "Yeah, I suppose I know a couple things," Spike thought for a second why Shelly was asking all these dog-related questions. "Uhh, Shelly? Why do you ask anyway?" "Well, that brings me back to why I wanted to talk to you," Shelly looked into the distance, the sun only just now starting to come up. "It's about Virgil..." "What about Virgil? Is he sick?" Spike replied, worried that he may need to call for help. "No! No, it's just he has nopony to watch him while I'm away and he'd get awfully lonely stuck in the house all day," Shelly returned her gaze to Spike's green eyes. "So, as a favor, could you maybe watch Virgil sometimes while I'm gone?" Spike, not to let down the first mare in a month he actually likes, figured that nothing could possibly go wrong with watching a dog? "Yeah, no problem, I can watch Virgil for you any time. Where is he anyway?" Spike said enthusiastically, hoping that Virgil would make good company in his lonely apartment. "Oh, he's right behind the fence," Shelly raised a hoof to her mouth and whistled. "C'mere Virgil! Want to meet your new puppy sitter?" Out from behind the fence some rustling could be heard, then a few curses. "Shelly did you hear that?" "Hear what?" "It sounded like somepony was...cursing, behind the fence." "That's silly, the only people outside are you, me," "Aaaaaannnndd VIRGIL!" Came from the fence. Spike, promptly dropping his 'Number One Assistant' mug onto the cobblestone patio, stood agape at the sight that stood before him. Present Time... "S-s-shelly, d-do you see w-what I'm s-seeing?" Spike stood like a statue, barely able to mouth the words No bucking way... "Spike! Are you alright? Do you need to sit down?" Sandy put on a consoling face, wondering what could have possibly happened to make Spike freeze up. "Yeah, what's the matter with you mate? You look like you've just seen a ghost." "B-b-but...how the, what the...who the?" Sandy looked at her watch, realizing she would be late for work if she didn't leave that moment. "Thanks for doing this Spike, I'll let Rarity know that you're still the angel you've always been! Gotta run!" Shelly took off in the direction of town square, leaving Spike alone with Virgil. "Hey mate, Spike right?" Spike could only slowly nod his head, looking at the...thing...that stood before him. It had all the features of an earth pony, but the fur, ears, nose and tail of a shepherd. "That's a bucking lame name for a dragon. Oh, and by the way, you're not going to work today." Virgil stated, unveiling a small brown bag filled with what looked to be spices. "Whaa..." "Ease up on the questions mate, now let's go inside and see what we have for food in this dump." Virgil walked past Spike and into the apartment, heading straight for the kitchen. Or more specifically, the fridge. Spike followed Virgil into the apartment, slowly closing and locking the door behind him, turning towards Virgil as he sacked the fridge. "Umm...V-V-V-Vir-" "What?!? There's no bloody bucking meat in here! What's a fella supposed to eat then? Dandelions?" "I have to be dreaming...this can't be happening, this can't be happening..." Spike whispered as he held a claw to his temple, hoping this was just a bad dream of sorts."I'll wake up in my bed any second now, any...second.....now." Virgil, hearing Spike's monologue, walked over to where Spike was standing and proceeded to help Spike realize that this was, in fact, not a dream. "Well, if this were a dream, you'd wake up when I do...this! *SLAP* "Ahh! What was that for?!?" "Guess you're not dreaming then, huh Spike?" "That's impossible...I have to be dreaming..." "Well you're not, so get used to it. C'mon, let's get you some air before you pass out. Nothing to eat around here anyway..." Virgil proceeded to the door, beckoning for Spike to follow. "Let's go mate, this is our chance to get to know each other better! Oh, and I'm broke so lunch is on you today." Spike thought that this was crazy, talking to a, actually, he still didn't know what exactly Virgil was exactly. But fresh air sounded nice and he was hungry after all. "Okay Virgil, we'll do it your way...for now." "Doggy style?" Spike face-clawed as he thought he'd finally jumped headfirst into the loony bin, all the years of being a librarian's assistant finally caving in on his psyche. "Sweet Celestia, give me the strength to wake up from this nightmare..." Spike sighed, walking out the apartment door with his new neighbors dog. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "So...Virgil," Spike looked to his left to meet Virgil's sapphire eyes. "What exactly are you?" Spike queried. Virgil stared back at Spike for after he'd asked his question, letting a moment pass and a smirk flicker across his face before responding. "Uhh, I'm a shepherd mate. What are you? Virgil finally responded, meeting Spike's question. "I'm a twenty-two year old dragon. I moved here eleven years ago and-" Spike realized just who he was talking to, and decided that telling a figment of his imagination his back-story wouldn't really get him anywhere. "Nevermind, but Virgil, you do know that other dogs aren't like...well...ponies. Right?" "And thus the secret identity of captain obvious was revealed, who do I look like? Coltdini? I'm not some, illusion you know," Virgil stopped, lifted his head and looked around curiously while sniffing the air. "Spike...do you smell that?" "Smell what?" "That smell...it's so divine! It's coming from," Virgil snapped his head left. "There!" Pointing a hoof at a bizarre looking tent. "The Gryphon ambassador's tent? We shouldn't get involved with him," Spike looked over to find Virgil had already started running in the direction of the tent. "Virgil! No!" Spike broke into a run in an attempt to try to catch up with Virgil. Unfortunately, even though Spike was a foot taller than most ponies now, Virgil had the speed of Rainbow Dash on the ground. "Virgil! Don't go in there!" "I can't help myself Spike, that smell! It's so heavenly!" Virgil darted into the tent under an open flap in the rear, no out of Spike's field of view. "Oh nononono, this can't be happening! Virgil!" Spike yelled under the tent, hearing a racket come from the other side. "Don't worry Virgil, I'm coming!" Spike, not sure weather he was doing the right thing or not, dived under the flap to enter the inside of the Gryphon tent in an attempt to save Virgil. "What am I doing? Saving an illusion? I should just back out now and... "Spike! Help! Get this dirty bird off of me!" "I'm coming Virgil!" Spike fully entered the tent now, taking in the sight that lay before him. The Gryphon tent belonged to Master General Caelum Aethra. Spike learned from Twilight that his name, when translated to high equestrian, was something along the lines of 'Upper Heavens'. Within the tent were decorations not much unlike Zecora's own hut before she moved back to the 'Far away land' she came from. The sides of the tent were illuminated from fireflies captive within jars. There was a scent think on the air that Spike didn't recognize, but it smelled of burning flesh. "Gah! What is that stink!" Spike complained, covering his nose to prevent the pungent odor from wrecking his sense of smell. The scent burnt his nostrils, smelling of flame seared..something. "Virgil! Are you in there?" Spike shouted into the foray of the tent. "Get zeeis filthy mutt out of here! He iz eating all ze bacon!" Came from a voice Spike could only assume belonged to general Aethra. Just as Spike was about to peek his head into the heart of the tent, Virgil came running out and stumbled into Spike. Virgil then proceeded to grab Spike by the tip of his tail. "We've got to go mate, this guy's piss just came to a full boil!" "WHAT!? Virgil w-what's going on?" Spike questioned loudly, still in shock from being thrown to the "No time to explain, RUN!" Virgil got up, and pushed Spike out through the tent flap, and not a moment too soon. "Fiend! You know not what will happen if my secret gets out! Return ze bacon at once!" Were the only things Spike heard Caelum Aethra shout, unable to follow them due to an all to recent bite mark on his hind left talon. "I'll get yoouuuu!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Now a solid two miles away, Spike figured that since the general hadn't actually seen him that he could move at a regular pace now. Looking to his left, Spike could clearly see that Virgil was winded as well. "Virgil...what...in the hay...whew, let's sit okay?" Spike, unable to breath steadily after the run, led Virgil over to a nearby park bench. The two, in their running, ended up in Ponyville's pet park. "Okay, Virgil what exactly did you do?" "I think their called...'bacon strips'." Virgil claimed, brandishing a hoof-full of brownish-reddish strips of meat from his right hoof. "By Starswirl's beard! Is that...meat?" Spike yelped, fearing the worst. Virgil smirked an evil smirk, then proceeded to eat the 'bacon'. "Virgil, you aren't seriously going to eat those...are you? It's meat." Playfully tossing the bacon into the air above him, Virgil was determined to get the most out of this as possible. Donning his most sarcastic attitude he could muster, Virgil set out to see if Spike could handle things not...meating...his expectations. "Ohhhh nooo Spike, why, I would never think to eat these juicy, delicious, tender bacon strips. Only an idiot would think I would commit such a hypocritical act and eat meat." Those words were music to Spike's ears, he couldn't be more relieved that Virgil wouldn't eat the bacon. "Oh thank goodness I seriously thought yo-" Spike stopped, seeing Virgil eat every single bacon strip in his left hoof. "Sweet Celestia! Do you know what you've done! It's, it's..." "Derishious! You don'tsh know vhat chour mishing Schpike!" Virgil exclaimed, finishing the last of the bacon in his mouth. "Yeah, I don't. I'd like to keep it that way too if you don't mind thanks." "You think I would leave you hangin' buddy? Uncle Virgil here saved you a piece!" Pronounced Virgil, holding a still-warm bacon strip over Spike's nose. Spike wan't quite sure it was his mind or some sort of magic, but he could swear the steam beckoned for him to eat it. "Mmm..it does smell goo- NO! I can't eat that, it's cannibalism!" "It's good for ya mate! C'mon...I promise I won't tell a soul." "I dunno..." "Pinkie Pie promise?" "How do you know about Pinkie Pie?" "I have my ways." Virgil said with a wink, then proceeded to to the chant. "Cross my heart, hope to fly. Stick a bacon strip in my eye. There, now can we get on with it?" "Actually, it's cupcake in my eye..." Spike pointed out. "Whatever, same thing. They're both healthy for you. Now," Virgil said, dangling the bacon strip closer to Spike's head now. "On to the matter at hoof." "Fine, if it'll get you off my spines...I'll try it." "That's the spirit!" Virgil exclaimed, handing the bacon strip to Spike. Spike examined the peculiar slice of meat before him. It smelled somewhat good, so it couldn't be all bad. Lifting it to his mouth, Spike took his first bite of meat in all his lifetime. Virgil watched from the sidelines as Spike did the impossible. He took a chance. "So buddy...how'd it ta-" "DEAUUEAUGH!!! That's, that's, REVOLTING!" "No Spike, that's the taste of adventure. You just took a step along a bright and sunny path! If only Twilight could see you now..." "I think it tastes more like trash than adventure..." "Spike...I think this is the start of a glorious friendship." Affirmed Virgil, wrapping his fore-hoof around Spike's torso. Spike turned to meet Virgil's face, noting how he must have finally gone crazy. This couldn't really be happening right? Whatever the future brought, the ponies he'd met were going to make sure it would be interesting enough for Spike to stay around. "Dear Celestia, what have I gotten myself into..." The End? 'Virgil' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After the Episode + Authors Notes! ~Virgil~ That Evening... "Hey Spike, I was wondering something." Huffed Virgil, finishing his bite of the 'special' brownies he had made. "What's that buddy?" Returned Spike, his senses dulled by the brownies. "Well, I was wondering, is it normal to stare at a mare's cutie mark? I mean, wouldn't it be perverted or something?" Came from Virgil, adjusting his seat on the couch. "I wouldn't think so, I mean, I've always looked at Cutie Marks first to, you know, relate their special talent and all..." Virgil smiled a dirty smile. "Your a bloody pervert, aren't ya Spike?" "NO! It's not that, it's just that a mare's name is always similar to their cutie Mark, so I would think it's rude not to look." Rebutted Spike, staring into the lavender and green colored walls in front of him. "You're bucking sick, that's what's rude." Virgil immediately retaliated, getting up and walking towards the fridge. "Spike we're all out of hard cider!" Hollered Virgil from the kitchen. Spike faceclawed, begrudgingly getting up and slowly walking towards the 'pet' he called his friend. ~Fin~