//------------------------------//
// Chapter 4 - Boot Camp Beatdown IV 
// Story: Guardians of Harmony - The Penal Guard 
// by Tropic_Turd 
//------------------------------//

“You know what, Scoundrel. I think you’re too nice to be a criminal,” Canopy said while he helped me set up our squad’s tent. “If you hadn’t told us you were one, we’d have easily believed that you’re a normal law abiding citizen.”

“That’s cause I’m barely even a criminal, Canopy,” I answered. “The only crime I’m guilty off is selling shit at a bargain price by not giving the government it’s cut of the profit.”

The forest at the base of the Foal Mountain range was beautiful this time of year. The dark orange color of the autumn leaves matched with the red backdrop of the setting sun was a beautiful sight. The world might be a harsh place, but I’m happy that I at least get to see beautiful stuff like this every once in a while.

We were on the last week of basic training and we would be graduating soon. That’s why the drill instructor thought now would be a good time to do one of the old traditions passed down from generation after generation of guardsponies on all branches. The Long March.

It was simple really. The training unit will be led by the drill instructors in a hundred-mile march for several days. But since our drill instructor was an asshole, she decided to add a bit of hiking to it. That’s why we were at the base of the Foal Mountains, we had to climb the fucking thing tomorrow.

Our unit had stopped earlier and decided to make camp in a small clearing near start of the narrow mountain road. All round us were other ponies going about their duties, doing things like setting up tents, cleaning equipment and collecting firewood.

As usual, the two drill instructors were also busy making our lives miserable. They patrolled the camp’s premises berating the initiates for every small mistake they made.

Meanwhile on the top of a large boulder near the center of the camp, Captain Forthright watched us silently. He came along since The Long March can’t be done without the supervision of an officer. He immediately volunteered when offered the job. So there he was, silently watching us as he evaluated our performance.

“But not paying taxes is still wrong!” canopy reasoned. It was a perfectly valid point, for him at least.

“Yeah, but I’m not going to give my money to the crown just so it could throw another party for the nobles that are loyal to it.” I said, turning to face him. “Do you think it’s fair for us ponies living in the Frozen North to work ourselves to death for a barely livable income, while the nobles at Canterlot feed off our taxes?”

“I…” Canopy couldn’t answer immediately. He was from one of the noble families in Canterlot so he knows all about this. “But it isn’t fair that you go on freeloading while other hardworking ponies pay their due.”

“That may be, but life up north is different from here,” I replied. If I’d been born in raised here in the peaceful side of Equestria, I would’ve probably been an honest laborer. But I lost the birth lottery and I just had to be born in the Frozen North as an orphan. That’s like rolling two D20’s and getting a critical fail, twice. And yes, even us smugglers play Ogres & Oubliettes to pass the time while sailing. 

“Out here it might be all nice and easy for you. But up there, honest work will only give you malnutrition and make you a prime target for bandit raids,” I explained. “If you wanna live, you need to have the guts to do things that normal ponies wouldn’t be able to do. Sometimes that includes breaking the law.”

“Still, that’s no excuse for doing crime!” If this privileged asshole knew what life is like up there, he wouldn’t be spewing this righteous bullshit. “A crime is still a crime even if it is done out of necessity!”

“I’d accept that reality of yours when the ponies of the north no longer experience hunger and bandit raids. Until then, I’ll assume all that tax money goes to the galas and vices of the Noble scum!”

“Would you two fuckwads shut the fuck up!” We both stopped what we were doing and turned to face the assistant drill instructor who scowled at us. “You’re supposed to set up your tents, not debate about politics and ethics. Leave that to the National Assembly. They actually know their shit unlike you, dumbasses”

“Sir, we apologize, sir!” we both answered in unison.

“Then shut the fuck up and get back to-”

“Wait!” I interrupted when I heard the sound of some tree leaves rustling. I had spent enough time in the wild to know if such a sound was made by an animal or not. And that, that was no animal. “Did you hear that?!”

“Initiate, you know how I hate it when you don’t start your sentence with a-”

“Sir! Over there! Sir!” I shouted after I saw a flash of white moving across the top of the tree line like a phantom. What the bloody hell was that? “Sir, it was right there, sir!”

The assistant drill instructor sighed when he turned around to see nothing. “What, Initiate? There’s nothing there.”

There was something there. I swear on my rotten soul, there was something there and it was watching me.

“What’s there, initiate?” The captain asked as he approached us.

“Sir, it’s-”

“Nothing, sir. The initiate is just seeing things.”

“Sir, but I’m not, sir!”

“Well then, I guess you should-”

“Corpsmare!” The four of us turned to see Lawbreaker, previously known as Cum-guzzler, carrying Fatherfucker on her back. The Earth Pony mare wasn’t in good shape. “I got a mare down!”

The two mares were the ones on our squad assigned to gather firewood. I was originally supposed to be the pony to accompany Lawbreaker, but the drill instructor insisted that I stay in the camp where she can see me. Why? Because she suspected that I would use the opportunity to run away. 

“What in the fucking hell happened, initiate!?” The senior drill instructor asked as we all ran to see what’s up.  “You were supposed to collect firewood, not participate in a fucking battle. Dumbass!”

“Ma’am, Snake bite, ma’am!” Lawbreaker answered as she laid down Fatherfucker on the ground. The poor thing was sweating all over and breathing heavily. “Damn it! We should’ve brought our armor with us!”

None of us were wearing armor except for those assigned to guard the premises. This was done in order to make us work faster. All the armor and equipment our squadron possessed were currently being cleaned by the two ponies we assigned to the task. Those two ponies were Buster and Cucklord.

“Fuck!” Dusty shouted, slamming one of her hooves on the ground.

“Well then you two dumbfucks should’ve listened-”

“Calm down initiate, it’s not your fault. Everything will be fine. Sargent, do we have antivenom?” The captain asked.

“Yes sir. I had one of the initiates bring a dozen all-purpose antivenom shots.”

The captain then turned to face the initiate. “Where’s the firewood you were supposed to collect.”

“Sir, I left it somewhere at the forest, sir,” the Thestral answered with her head hung low in shame.

“Do you remember where you left it?”

“Sir, yes, sir,” she answered.

“Good. Take Canopy with you and get it back. We’ll take care of Initiate Fatherfucker,” the captain then paused and thought about something for a while before he turned to me. “Actually, take your battle buddy with you instead. He’s starting to go crazy.”

What? I’m not going crazy. This is because of the thing I saw wasn’t it. 

“Sir?” Lawbreaker asked.

“He’s been seeing things that aren’t there. Perhaps a quick walk through the woods would knock some sense into him.” 

“And if he tries to run away, you’re free to kill him!” The senior drill instructor added.

Called it. Fucking called it! I knew the son of a bitch wouldn’t believe me. There was really somepony, or something, up there dammit. I’m not going crazy. I’m just stating the fucking truth!

“Sir, we’ll be getting our armor first, sir!”

“No. Go on over to the supply tent and take a couple of antivenom shots. It’s a lot lighter. I need you to move fast, initiate. Nighttime is upon us.”

“Sir, right away, sir!” Lawbreaker replied before turning to me with a smile. “Initiate Scoundrel, follow me.”









I scanned the treetops while me and Dusty walked across the woods, searching for the firewood she dropped. The eerie silence of the forest was broken by the occasional bird call or cricket sound, but there’s something out there. I can feel it. 

Above us, I can see the sun starting to set. It will be dark soon. We need to hurry.

“It’s all my fault, Scoundrel. She wouldn’t have been bitten if I wasn’t so careless,” Dusty said, her guilt leaking into her tone. I’ve spent enough time with her to know things others don’t, especially since she felt comfortable enough to share some of her personal issues with me. Because of that, I found out just how emotional she can be when she fails big time. She doesn’t handle failure that well.

I reckon it’s because of how her family raised her. All those years she spent training hard prevented her from experiencing the joys of youth. All the time she had to suppress her emotions in order to get better. These were bound to give her some issues when she grew up. 

Thank Faust I wasn’t born to a military family; I’d actually rather stay an orphan. Some of the shit I had to put up with as an orphan were quite tame when compared to the things Thestral military families did to their foals.

I stopped, turned around and faced her. She looked like she was on the verge of an emotional breakdown. “No it is not!”

No matter how tough Dusty may be on the outside, she’s still a mare. And mares are very emotional creatures. That is why I hate having to deal with them at times. I hate hearing their depressing bullshit. I already have a lot of problems as it is and I don’t need to hear theirs.

“No. I-”

“It was an accident, Dusty. There was nothing anypony can do!” I interrupted. I’m not gonna let her complete her statements and self-loath. I’m gonna smother her with kind words and hope she forgets about her depressing shit. Because I fucking hate it when other ponies get depressed all of the sudden. Seriously, they should really learn how to lighten up.

“But-”

“Listen to me, Dusty. You are a pony, not a god. You can and will make mistakes,” I explained. “Now there are two ways you can deal with these mistakes. You can either wallow in your own pitiful wails, or you can learn from them and do better next time!”

My glare made her break eye contact by looking down on the ground. “Still. I could’ve at least-”

I used a free wing to grab her cheek and lift her head. I honestly want to slap her to get rid of all that wangst, but I’m not gonna resort to that. Yet. “Listen, everything will turn out fine. Tomorrow Fatherfucker will be up and running and you’ll look back at this moment and tell yourself, ‘why did I even worry’. It will all be fine, Dusty. It’ll all be fine,” I then pulled her close for a hug. Everypony needs a hug every once in a while. Hugs are nice and they really help at a time like this.

I heard a faint squeak came out of her from my sudden act. After a few seconds of shock, I felt her return the gesture, albeit a bit harder than I expected. I could feel the air being squeezed out of my lungs.

“Thank you, Scoundrel,” she said pulling away with a wide smile on her face which was beet red. It always happens when you take ponies by surprise.

I coughed a little and took a deep breath after she pulled away. “Oh it’s nothing. Besides, that’s what battle buddies are for. We look after each other’s back and you sure looked like you’re in distress.”

“I’ll be sure to return the favor then,” she replied with a determined look on her face.

There was still something bothering me though. “Whatever happened to the snake that bit Fatherfuker?”

Dusty stared at me blankly for a moment. Then she took a deep breath and said “I ate it.”

“You…” I paused and blinked several times in disbelief. What kind of fucking psychopath does that kind of shit?! “Ate it!? Dude, what the fuck!”

“I was hungry okay! All I’ve been eating these past few months are bread, vegetables and fruits,” she turned away with a huff. “I already killed the fucking thing and it’ll be a waste if I just leave it there! Besides, I miss the taste of fresh meat and blood.”

“Okay… okay I’m sorry. Anyway, it’s getting late. I think we should get going,” I said, looking at the sky. It was gradually turning blue.

“Yeah…” Dusty replied as she looked up as well. “We should get going.”

“Lead the way then,” I replied, pointing my other wing at the path ahead.

I watched as Dusty trotted forward enthusiastically. It was good to see Dusty in good spirits again. But what’s even better was the clear view of her flanks I got by letting her go first. They were just so damn fine.

After a while, we finally found the large bundle of firewood that Dusty abandoned earlier. The rope which tied the thing together appeared to have snapped. It was getting a bit dark, so we immediately began tying it up again.

“Hey, Scoundrel,” Dusty called me while she was knotting the rope around her bundle.

“Yes?”

“Remember that time we were guarding the wall? The one where the captain came and offered us a cigarette.”

“Oh yeah,” I replied. I still remember that fucking cigarette. It was one damn good smoke. “What about it?”

“I was going to tell you something remember.” 

“Ah yes, the one the captain interrupted. What was it about?”

“Well you see-”

We both suddenly stopped what we were doing, raised our ears and sat still. “Can you-”

“Yes. I can feel it,” Dusty replied. She was a Thestral so her senses were a lot sharper than mine. Perhaps she can actually find out who or what in the god damn was stalking us trainees.

“What do we do?” I asked, staring at her.

“Just stay still. I got this” she answered with a reassuring smile and a wink. I then watched her close her eyes and pull out a dagger from her trainee fatigues. Shit was about to go down.

I didn’t know how long we sat there, but after what seemed like forever, Dusty made her move. She stood up, opened her eyes, and threw the dagger at the tree tops. The blade flew across the air like a bolt of lightning, but it still wasn’t enough. All I saw was a brief flash of white and a few rustling leaves on the canopy before the relative silence was broken by the sound of a projectile burying itself in wood.

“Damn it!” Dusty shouted, stomping her hoof on the ground. “I missed! I almost had her.”

“Sweet Faust! That thing was fast as hell!” I said in disbelief. We had to be dealing with a ghost. Nopony can move that fast. “We need to- Wait! Look over there!” I pointed at a faint white object falling from the sky.

Dusty wasted no time and flew towards the object. She came back with it clenched in her teeth before she spat it on the ground in front of me. “It’s a feather.”

I picked the white feather up and inspected it. Judging from the size and shape, I’d say it’s a Pegasus wing feather. And this was no ordinary Pegasus, this was a bigger-than-average Pegasus that could fly fast. We would be in big trouble if that thing was hostile.

“We need to get back. Now! That damned Pegasus is still out there,” I said, shoving the white plume into my uniform’s breast pocket.

Dusty nodded before we both reached for our firewood bundles. After that, we ran off without looking back.









“You thinks it’s still out there?” Dusty asked, her eyes scanning the treetops at the edge of the camp.

I raised the visor of my helmet before replying. “I don’t know, Dusty. I-”

“Shhh!” She shushed me. “We’re at camp! Call me by my nickname. If the drill instructor hears us we’l get our asses fried!” She whispered.

“Roger that, Psycho,” I replied. 

Yeah, Dusty got a new name after the drill instructors found out she ate the snake.

The evidence of our encounter earlier managed to finally convince the commanding staff that I wasn’t crazy. Apparently, the two shithead DI’s were only willing to listen to Dusty, not me. 

Things still didn’t go my way though. Because of the proof that there is a lone Pegasus stalking us from afar, the DI’s decided to have half the entire unit stay up for the night to guard the camp. Me and Dusty were one of those ponies. 

We were both standing guard at the north end of the camp near the mountain road, wearing our freshly polished Harmony Guard armor. I was surprised to find out that this suit of armor barely restricted my movement. I could do jumping jacks and somersaults in this thing with ease. It was kinda heavy though. But thankfully, I was used to carrying heavy shit my back so I had an easy time adjusting.

I just had one problem with it. The velvet lining on the underside of my armor’s helmet was kind of itchy. And believe me when I say that it was hard trying to keep an eye out for the mysterious Pegasus while the itch on the backside of your ear is driving you crazy.

“Oh fuck yes,” Psycho whispered. “Say it again please.”

“What? Psycho?”

“Yeah, that’s the one!” She said with a satisfied sigh.

“What the fuck is-”

“What!? Do you know how satisfying it is to be called Lawbreaker or Psycho after spending a long time being referred to as Cum-guzzler!” She reasoned. I can see her point. “I mean, it just wasn’t fair that you guys got awesome nicknames like, Buster and Fatherfucker while I got… that name.” 

“What’s wrong with that name?” I asked with a grin.

“It implied that I’m a whore!”

“Wait, you aren’t?”

The armor was meant to protect us from powerful blows that would’ve easily killed us with one hit, but it did a bad job at absorbing shock. The punch Psycho delivered felt like a fucking bullet and it made me kneel on the ground. It was fucking worth it though. I still got a good laugh out of that one. 

“Oh you think that’s funny huh!” Psycho shouted, raising her hoof again.

“I’m sorry!” I replied, barely able to contain my laughter. “It was just a joke! Jeez, chill the fuck out!”

“That wasn’t a joke. Jokes are supposed to be funny!” She said before slapping me.

“What in the bloody hell is going on here!” We heard somepony shout from behind us. I nearly pissed myself when I realized who that voice belonged to. “You scumbags better have a sound explanation for your lollygagging, or I’ll show you two what happened to those initiates who got lost during last year’s Long March.”

“Ma’am, I-”

“Ma’am, just reminding the Scoundrel who’s in charge, ma’am!” That was a very good excuse actually. The drill instructor’s usually let anything pass if it involved me getting my ass beaten.

“Good,” the drill instructor replied. She was no longer wearing her instructor attire and was instead sporting the guard’s official bomber jacket. The thing is, she’s wearing the Night Guard variant.

“Ma’am, permission to ask a question, ma’am?!” I asked, getting my ass off the ground and pulling down my helmet’s visor.

“Go ahead, Scoundrel.”

“Ma’am, where’d you get that jacket, ma’am!?”

The drill instructor paused. She’s trying to make up a story, I guarantee it. “I… won it from a bet with some cunt from the Night Guard. Obviously, I fucking won!” 

I’m not buying that, but I’ll play along because I don’t want to get my sorry ass beaten. “Ma’am, you sure did, ma’am!”

“Any sighting of the white Pegasus?”

“Ma’am, no, ma’am!” We answered in unison.

“Keep on looking, Scumbags. If you see anything suspicious, report it to me immediately so I can organize a hunting party! I’m gonna personally skin that son of a bitch alive for messing with my training exercise!”

“Ma’am, understood, ma’am!”

“Good!” she said before turning to Psycho. “And remember. You are free to kill Scoundrel, if he tries to run away! Do you understand!?”

“Ma’am, understood, ma’am!” my battle buddy answered without hesitation. I hope it’s because she’s confident that I won’t run away, because I sure as hell won’t.

We both watched silently as she trotted away and breathed a sigh of relief when she was out of sight.

“Sweet Luna, I almost pissed myself!” Psycho said with a chuckle. 

“Same here,” I replied.

What followed was a long and awkward silence. The two of us just stood there and kept an eye out for that damned stalker. Anyway, I thought this was a great time to ask my Thestral friend about Thestral stuff.

“Hey, Psycho.”

“Yeah?”

“How do you manage to stay awake and perform well at day? I mean, aren’t you guys supposed to be nocturnal.”

“That’s because I conditioned myself to stay up during the day and sleep at night before I went here. It was a painfully long and frustrating task, but I managed to normalize it after twenty days.”

“Cool.”

“Do you have anything else you wanna ask?”

“Actually, there is this one thing.” I answered. “I just noticed. I’ve never heard you sing a song or recite a poem.” 

Now that might come off as a weird thing to ask, but this is a legitimate question. Song and poetry are both important in Thestral culture. Their history is recorded in the form of songs and epics, debates are traditionally done in poetic form, and even their warriors have a special song that they sing before a battle. There’s even a popular saying that Thestral foals are taught how to sing the moment they learn how to speak.

Why? Because songs and poems are a representation of sound in a harmonic form. Sound is sacred to the Thestrals. Their priests say it was what helped them navigate through the darkness and into their deity’s lunar light. So I found it odd that Dusty hasn’t sung anything unlike the other Thestral recruits in our training unit.

“Well… I’m just… I don’t like my singing. It’s not as good as the other Thestrals,” she explained, looking on the ground in shame.

“Oh don’t be like that,” I replied, placing a comforting hoof on her back. “Besides, I really want to hear that famous pre-battle song you guys have. I hear only the members of the warrior clans are allowed to sing it.”

Psycho pulled back and stared at me in disgust. Did I say something wrong? “That song is sacred, Scoundrel. We’re only allowed to sing it if there’s a battle ahead, not for some mere pony’s entertainment!” Oh. That explains that reaction.

“We’re kind of in the verge of a battle you know,” I reasoned. I really want to hear that song. “There’s a thing out there waiting to strike, singing that seems appropriate at a time like this.”

“Hmm…” she scratched her chin. “I guess you’re right.”

Bingo.

“But… I’m really not good at singing.”

Oh come on! “Don’t give me that shit, Psycho. There’s no such thing as a Thestral with a horrible singing voice!” Besides, I think Dusty’s soft and high pitched voice might be good for singing.

“Okay. I’ll give you the translated version so you can understand it,” she said, removing her helmet and laying it on the ground. She then took a deep breath and sang. I wasn’t prepared for her brilliance.

 

Clashing of the swords: a song of the defiant.

The path of fighting is the path of life.

So amidst an assault, tyranny is destroyed.

And concealment of the voice results in the beauty of the echo.



Sweet Faust! She wasn’t a horrible singer, she was perfect. Her voice was angelic and It felt as if the heavens themselves were singing that song. I stood there, slack-jawed at the amazing display of talent. Then I began to feel something else.

I felt my heart thump hard and my cheeks heat up while I watched her perform. I don’t know if the song had a hypnotizing effect or if I’m just starting to hallucinate from sleep deprivation, but there was something different about the Dusty I’m looking at. I just can’t help thinking about how… How gorgeous she was.



By it my religion is glorified, and tyranny is laid low.

So, oh my ponies, awake on the path of the brave.

For either being alive delights leaders, or being dead vexes the enemy.



I think it must’ve been moonlight. There’s just something about the way that gentle ray of light touched her tender features. It made me notice just how pretty her silky pink mane was, how gentle those baby blue eyes were, and how fierce and stunning her hardened expression looked as she sung her battle song. Her beauty rivaled that of the alicorns.



So arise, brothers, sisters, get up on the path of salvation,

So we may march together, resist the aggressors,

Raise our glory, and raise the foreheads

That have refused to bow before any besides Luna.



Simply standing there and watching her perform evoked a feeling of bliss, which differed greatly from the raw lust I felt every time I gazed on her flanks. It made me look at her not with eyes of desire, but with ones of admiration. I don’t know why, But I think… I think I’m actually falling for her. 

Damn you, Princess Cadence! The last thing I wanted was to develop a personal attachment to somepony. That’s the kind of shit that gets us smugglers killed. Plus, she’s my superior. This shit you’re trying to pull off is illegal!

“Scoundrel? Are you okay?” She said, waving a hoof at my face. “Hello! Equestria to Scoundrel, please respond!”

“Huh!” I said, snapping out of my euphoric trance. I was so hypnotized by her splendor that I didn’t even notice that she had finished her performance. “What is it?” I asked, still at a loss for words.

“Your face…” she giggled while covering her mouth with one of her wings. It was a cute sight. “You should look at the mirror. And your wings. Oh boy!”

Wait what? 

Dusty raised her left hoof in a position that allowed her bracer to show my reflection. There were no words that could describe how embarrassed I was at that moment.

I cringed hard when I saw my face. It had the deepest shade of red I have ever seen it had. I closed swiftly closed my visor in an attempt to hide it only to notice another thing that was clearly out of place.

Sometimes I envy the Unicorns and Earth Ponies because they never have to put up with this shit. What is this shit you ask? It was my wings. My giant fucking wings! They were spread out wide and fully erect. I tried to regain control of the damned things only to make myself look like a mentally retarded shithead from all the grunting I did.

“So…” Psycho said, rubbing a hoof on the ground as she stared off into the distance. “Did you like it?”

“It was fucking amazing!” I answered with a wide smile. “I mean, look at these things,” I said pointing a hoof at my fully erect wings. “They wouldn’t be doing this if I wasn’t stunned by your performance.”

“Really!”

“Your singing is shit!” The drill instructor shouted all the way from the other side of the camp. “I’ve known some shell shocked ponies who could still sing better than you. You, nocturnal cunt! Now get back to guarding before I get over there and rip your vocal cords off”

We both stood up straight and resumed our duty of guarding the premises once the instructor’s outburst was done. I was worried her negative response might’ve spoiled my battle buddy’s mood, but a brief glance of her face before it was once again covered by her helmet refuted that. That sweet smile she wore was a clear sign she was over the moon.

“Thank you.”

“What?” I asked, stunned at the sudden display of appreciation. 

“That was the thing I wanted to say to you,” She explained as she raised her helmet’s visor before facing me. “You know, the thing that I was supposed to say before we got interrupted earlier.”

“But… But what’s it for?”

“What? I think it’s only right that I thank you,” she replied. “Every time I was in deep shit or having trouble dealing with my own shit, you were there to help me. I really appreciate that,” I have to admit, that compliment made me blush.

“Don’t you think you’ve been thanking me enough?” I joked. I mean seriously. It’s as if this kid hadn’t experienced what a simple act of kindness was like.

“No. I don’t think so. I’ve never had anypony treat me this nicely before.”

What the fuck. Is she serious?

“Every time I showed a sign of weakness, no matter how small it was, I’d get beaten. Every mistake, every failure, every inadequacy, had its corresponding punishment.”

Holy shit. She told me it was bad, but she didn’t tell me it was this bad! Thestral military families really are fucked up aren’t they.

“There’s no place for weakness in this family. That was what my mother always told me,” She explained. “There was a belief in our clan that showing kindness and emotional support to us foals will make us soft. That it will make us weak.”

That’s it, I can’t take this depressing shit anymore. “Dusty-”

“She’s wrong,” she interrupted me with a voice that was as soft as silk but was as strong as iron. I couldn’t say a word. I was too stunned. “The kindness you showed me every time I was feeling down, did more to strengthen me than all those years of training. The support you gave me every time I fuck up, did more to make me braver than all the times I was thrown into the wolves.”

I was speechless. I really had no idea what to say.

“Cloud. I just want to tell you, that you’re as important to me as my own family,” she said with a wide smile. Wait, did she just call me by my name? Holy fucking shit, she called me by my own name. “You mean a lot to me. I want you to remember that,” I’ve been with enough ponies to know whether their words were sincere or not. Dusty’s were as authentic as they can get.

There was this warm feeling on my chest when she said that. I’ve never meant this much to anypony before. I was just always either a disposable tool or a friend who could give favors. But now, I actually mattered to somepony. I have no words to describe how ecstatic that made me.

I cringed as wet streams of liquid began rolling down my cheeks. Fucking dammit. I was crying! Thank Faust I kept my visor down.

“Don’t worry, Dusty,” I replied, doing my best to hide the whirlpool of emotions I’m having. I actually managed to do a good job at it this time. “The feeling’s mutual.”

Without a word, she came forward and gave me a hug. It was a brief one, but boy was it good. It was so good in fact, that it made me feel as if time had stopped and that all the bad in the world disappeared for just that short moment. Dusty sure gives the best damn hugs. 

After what felt like forever, she pulled away and smiled at me one last time before closing her visor. 

I have this personal rule to avoid emotional connections with other ponies. It made dealing with life a lot easier for me. But now I’m going to make an exception for Dusty. She’s the one friend I’ll cherish till the day I die.









What followed was a long period of awkward silence as we continued our task of looking out for any sign of the white Pegasus. We still couldn’t find shit though, but I could still feel its presence.

We both paused and stood still when we heard a twig snap not far away from where we were. We nodded at one another before we silently walked on over to the source of the sound.

Imagine the look on our face when we saw Cucklord, all alone wearing only her trainee fatigues, walking up the mountain road. I frowned as I tried to piece together what the bloody hell this moody bitch is up to.

“Psst! Scoundrel, what do you think she’s up to?” Psycho asked, leaning closely beside me.

I felt my face heat up once again. She was way too close for comfort. “I don’t know. But I think she’s up to no good.”

So we did what any sensible guardspony would do and followed her. It wasn’t really a hard task. All we had to do was keep our distance and not lose sight of her.

Cucklord’s been acting strangely these past few months. She was no longer the same wimpy earth pony mare from before. She’s been stepping up her game, just like Canopy. The thing is, while her current physical performance was outstanding, I don’t think her mental stability was.

I’ve seen her talking to herself on more than one occasion and there were times when she just silently stared at nothing for extended periods of time. It must’ve had something to do with the pain of knowing her partner cheated on her, which was further enhanced by having dickheads like me around. 

Yeah, I kinda regret offending her now. I think she’s on the verge of a really, really bad mental break down.

We followed her for a good thirty minutes before she stopped at the part of the road overlooking our camp. I watched silently as she gazed over the horizon, a lifeless expression on her face and a bleak emptiness on her eyes. The road she’s standing on was technically the edge of a cliff, with a hundred and fifty foot vertical drop only a few steps away from her. I sure hope she’s not gonna do what I think she’s gonna do.

“Scoundrel.”

“Yeah?”

“I have a very bad feeling about this.”

“Don’t worry, she’ll be fine,” I replied. I do sure hope she’s fine. That deadpan stare of hers did not look healthy.

And then when I thought things couldn’t get worse, she pulled out something from her breast pocket. It was a letter. Not just any letter. It was the letter. The same letter that confirmed her fears that she was being cheated on.

“Scoundrel. Isn’t that the-”

“Fuck… fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” I mumbled. This is not going to end well. 

Then suddenly, the fucker jumped.

“Sweet Bean!”

To be continued