The Unexpected Adventures of Trixie and Sunset

by Sixes_And_Sevens


The Bones of Sutekh

Sunset opened the doors of the TARDIS. “HAIL RA!” somewhere in the vicinity of a thousand voices chanted all at once. Sunset closed the door of the TARDIS. She looked at Trixie. “What the actual.”
Trixie looked at her. “...Do it again.”
Sunset opened the doors. “HAIL RA!”
Sunset closed the doors again. “Trixie, get me the external monitor.”
Trixie lit her horn, and the screen swung around to face the mares. A crowd of beings surrounded the TARDIS on all sides. Sunset saw ponies, diamond dogs, camels, cats, gazelles, giraffes, zebras, and more. “...Huh,” she said distantly. “I thought it was meant to appear where no one was really looking.”
“What do we do?” Trixie asked.
Sunset thought about that for a long moment. “...Take off again,” she decided. “I’ve had about all I can take of being mistaken for an ancient god.”
“Right.” Trixie pulled up on the dematerialization lever. There was a low grinding sound. Nothing else happened. She pushed it down and the grinding stopped. She pulled it up again, and the grinding started again. “Uh, Sunny?”
“Please don’t tell me we’re stuck.”
“Okay, Trixie will just lie instead.” She cleared her throat. “Gee, babe, Trixie is sure glad that the TARDIS definitely isn’t trapped by some unknown force. We certainly won’t have to face up to any ancient gods in the immediate future. Trixie is not at all afraid, and she wants you to know how much she hates your guts.”
Sunset rolled her eyes and smiled. “Well, in that case, let’s stay inside and face none of our problems. With you by my side, I can’t do anything.”
Trixie went pink. “Oh-- er-- hmph. Let’s just get this over with. At least Trixie might get some adulation by association out of this fiasco.”
The cheering had died down some after Sunset had closed the doors, but when she and Trixie stepped into the light, the roar was positively deafening. Sunset raised a hoof for silence, but that only made them hoot and holler louder. She cast a desperate look at Trixie, but the magician was busy reveling in the attention.
Well, fine. She would handle this herself. Sunset drew in a deep breath. She kept drawing in that deep breath. Her chest swelled, and her fiery mane, wings, and tail grew ever hotter and brighter. Quickly, she clapped her hooves over Trixie’s ears to protect her, and then…
“QUIET!”
The room went completely still. Sunset stood in the center of it all, panting and growling, her flames down to a faint flicker. “Thank you,” she said after a few minutes. “Now, could someone please tell me what’s going on?”
There was a small commotion at the back of the room. Slowly, the crowd parted, and a tall, muscular, biped approached the TARDIS. After a good three minutes, he stopped a few meters away from the two mares. “My lady Ra. You and your priestess honor us with your presence here.”
Sunset stared back coldly. “Hello, Anubis.”

***

Some distance away, a cat lowered a pair of binoculars and rifled through his bag, eventually locating an orange flag. He turned around and began waving it frantically at the horizon.
Some distance from that point, a camel saw the flag and began to hurry off to the west side of town, grabbing a jar of spices from her counter as she went.
Before long, she had arrived at the river, where she offered the spices to a hippopotamus. The hippo tasted the blend, nodded, and took the entire jar, storing it under her tongue. She made her way upriver and out of the city, and still she trundled on. But where the river suddenly curved and turned to the west, she walked to the east and vanished from sight.
An instant later, she arrived just outside an oasis. There was something quite odd about this oasis, though -- for one thing, the whole place was surrounded by a stone barrier, covered with question marks. Its architect had claimed it was a ‘wonder wall’, and then gone off to sulk when no one else understood the joke. 
Inside the border, things only became stranger. The trees that grew here were twisted into strange, corkscrewing shapes, and produced blue-striped bananas that smelled of morning glory. The oasis held no water, either, only a lake of sweet, fizzy brown liquid. The hippo hauled herself up out of the ‘cola’ as its creator had termed it, and shook herself off.
“Who goes there?”
“Kee-ow-way!” the hippo called. Then she paused, took the jar of spices out of her mouth, and tried again. “Sorry. Chione. I come bearing a message.”
One of the trees opened its eyes, and Chione tried not to scream. “Is that so?” the definitely-not-a-tree asked, forming a face, limbs, wings, and slithering through the air toward her.
“Hello, Lord Discord,” she said, only shaking slightly.
The chaos god grinned at her toothily.
“Discord!” another voice called. “Stop frightening the messenger!”
The chimera frowned, and they pulled back. “Was only saying hello,” they said, sulkily.
Ba’ast hurried down the path toward Chione. “Your message, where is it?”
The hippo nudged the jar with a foot, not once taking her eyes from Discord. Ba’ast barely noticed, popping the top off the jar and digging through the spices inside to pull out a small clay tablet. Only two words were written on it.
“Ra returns.” Ba’ast said with relish. “Oh, how delightful.” 
She turned to Discord. “Darling, I do believe we should take a little trip into the city, wouldn’t you agree?”
“If we must,” they grumbled.
“Oh, don’t pout,” Ba’ast consoled. “It’ll be fun! I can introduce you to my old friends, you can pull down Anubis’s loincloth, we’ll make a day of it.”
“...Can we have ice cream afterwards?”
“You’ll have to summon it yourself, but I suppose so.”
They smiled. “Well then, what are we waiting for? Shall we take a cab, or fly?”
“Oh, let’s take a cab.”
“But that would be boring!”
“Flying would be rather ostentatious.”
“Your point being?”
She laughed. “Fair enough. Let’s fly, then.”
Discord took her extended paw with surprising tenderness, and together, they lifted off into the air.
Chione stared as the two flew towards the city on the horizon and shook her head. Perhaps she’d be better off going to visit her mother further upstream. Yes, that sounded nice. The city was overcrowded as it was, and there simply wouldn’t be enough room for Anubis and Ba’ast both.

***

Sunset and Trixie had been ushered away from the TARDIS and the cheering crowd by the jackal. Trixie cast a few
worried looks back at the TARDIS before it vanished from view. Sunset didn’t take her eyes off Anubis once as they made their way through the halls of whatever building they had arrived in. Eventually, the jackal stopped and opened a door. He looked at the two ponies expectantly.
Sunset sat back on her haunches and crossed her hooves. “You first.”
Anubis scowled. “So, we’re playing that game, are we?”
“Well gee,” Trixie said, tapping a hoof on her chin. The first time we met, you locked Trixie in a cage and threatened to kill her. The last time we met, you tried to frame Sun- the Sun Goddess for murder and gave her a feather that would burn her to death. So, uh… yeah? Yeah, we’re playing this game, Trixie thinks.”
Anubis held his glower for a minute longer, then relented. “So be it.” He turned and stormed into the room beyond, letting the door swing shut after him. Sunset shoved it back open and followed him in. Trixie dogged her steps, casting wary glances at every corner of the room. Sunset paused in midstep and put a hoof around Trixie’s withers. “Don’t worry,” she murmured. “We’ve beat him before, we can do it again.”
“Yeah. The three-meter tall mountain of muscle is a total pushover,” Trixie snarked.
“I mean, he kinda is? If worst comes to worst, I’ll light his loincloth on fire.”
Trixie snickered despite herself. “Yeah, alright. But Trixie will continue to keep an eye on him.”
“Good idea.” Sunset glanced ahead to where Anubis was situating himself at a desk. “He’s had… what, a thousand years of prep time? We can’t be too careful, here.”
Anubis finally settled himself at the desk, resting a massive arm awkwardly on a stack of clay tablets. “Please,” he said, gesturing to the two chairs opposite him, “take a seat.”
“We’ll stand,” Sunset said.
Anubis’s eyes flashed, and the mares tensed. The jackal, however, merely grumbled under his breath that ‘of course you will, I don’t know why I try…” and shifted his weight in the chair.
Sunset and Trixie waited as the jackal fiddled awkwardly with the ankh around his neck. “You may have noticed,” he began, “that your box is trapped.”
“Yeah, kinda,” Sunset said drily. “I’m guessing you’re responsible for that?”
“Yes.”
“Why? Trixie would’ve thought you’d want us out of your hair as quickly as possible.”
“Under normal circumstances, you would be correct,” Anubis agreed. “These, however, are not normal circumstances. I constructed a trap circle in the auditorium and used sympathetic magic to bring you to this place.”
Sunset frowned. “Sympathetic magic would require you to have something of ours. What do you have that would --”
Anubis reached into a desk drawer and pulled out a burnt old firework. “Kept in stasis for millennia,” he said. “It was with this that my people took to the heavens and landed in this place, why we escaped our doomed planet, why my father--” he broke off. “I used this powerful, ancient gift to bring you here, Queen Ra.”
Sunset’s mouth dangled open. She snapped it shut, then opened it again to speak. She shut it once more, unsure of what to say first.
“That still doesn’t explain why you brought us here,” Trixie observed.
Anubis inhaled through his nostrils, gazing up at the ceiling. “No. It doesn’t.”
Sunset and Trixie waited, leaning forward in anticipation. “I brought you here,” Anubis said at last, “because I need your help.”

***

We have been here for perhaps a thousand years now, (Anubis explained,) and for the most part, it has been a time of great peace and prosperity. The order-loving gods care for the cities and towns, maintaining the rule of law and running the civil service. The chaos-lovers (a phrase he spat rather than spoke) live out in the wild spaces, blessing and damning as they like. This is the balance of this world, and it has worked tolerably. Old rivals no longer need to see one another’s faces, and many of the old squabbles have died out utterly.
But one day, perhaps ten years ago, a new god arrived on the scene, claiming to be the avatar of chaos incarnate. They certainly had the abilities to back their claims. With a snap of their claws, the river in the middle of town ran with olive oil. Another snap, and the sand rose up into the shape of a vast palace. They were handily routed out by the forces of order, of course, but they never left. They have remained out in the desert, licking their wounds, occasionally making incursions on cities and towns and being beaten back. And for awhile, that was fine. The balance was maintained. But recently, rumours have started to circulate…
They claim this -- this beast is my father reborn, as Ra was reborn in you. It is publicly known, now, that Sutekh saved the lives of everyone aboard the colony ship. The crystals that powered the ship still glow with a green light, but are safe to handle, now. My father’s remains are, as well. Both are treated with great reverence. Both were stolen two years ago.
I have no way of knowing if the new god was responsible, but I can think of no other suspect. They have been conspiring with the other, more chaotic deities, who once would never have dreamed of cooperating. Somehow, this pseudo-Sutekh has done the truly impossible, and corralled several dozen squabbling deities into working to a common goal. The balance was maintained easily before, when all the deities of order could combat whichever of our chaotic siblings had encroached into our lands, but if all of them were to unite behind a common power…
It might be the end of civilization as we know it.

***

There was a long moment of silence. “Well,” said Sunset. “Uh, that’s a lot.”
“Yes.”
“Where can we find them?” Trixie asked.
Anubis waved a paw vaguely. “Out in the desert somewhere, where the black earth of the workable land gives way to the evil red of the sand.”
“Poetic,” Sunset said drily.
“Not wildly helpful,” Trixie agreed.
Anubis growled. “You expected what, a postal address? These are the forces of chaos! They adhere to no earthly schedule, wreck plans, ruin the most carefully considered actions. Did you really think they were just going to walk into the city and announce their presence?”
Suddenly, there was a horrible scraping sound from outside. Anubis looked stricken. Trixie and Sunset locked eyes and ran for the door. As they raced down the corridor, a voice, artificially loud and echoing, crowed, “Oh, Anubis! Come out and play…
“Does that voice sound familiar to you?” Sunset asked.
Trixie scowled. “Yes. Very.”
The crowd in the auditorium had scattered, leaving the TARDIS alone in the circle. Trixie cast a quick, longing look at it, but Sunset charged on, out between the pillars at the front of the atrium and into the sunlight.
And there she stopped, blinking in the sudden brightness as Discord raced by, cackling, while Ba’ast was pulled along behind them in a wagon, raking her claws on the stone of every building she passed. 
Sunset stared after them as they turned a corner and vanished from sight. “...I don’t know what I expected.”
Trixie crossed her hooves and set them on Sunset’s back. “Well. This makes things… interesting, does it not?”
“That’s certainly one way of putting it. Hold on to my neck.”
“Trixie is not sure this is quite the right time --”
“Trixie.”
“Alright, alright, now whaOOOP!” Trixie found herself dangling in the air, desperately kicking her hooves in search of solid ground. Sunset spun a little in the air as she rose, throwing Trixie more completely onto her back.
“What the Tartarus are you doing?” Trixie demanded.
“Getting a bird’s-eye view on the situation,” Sunset replied, slowly turning in the air. She didn’t even need to see Discord and Ba’ast directly to know their position -- she only needed to look at the way any creature passing by was running to know that the destructive duo were in the opposite direction. She turned to face the west end of town and took off like a rocket.

***

Ba’ast glanced up at the sky. “Oh, look, darling, the company’s arrived.”
“Oh?” Discord asked, not slowing. “Perhaps we should roll out the welcome mat, then.” They snapped their claws, and all the canopies on all the stalls on that street ripped free from their bindings and rose to meet the incoming goddess.
Moments later, several of them had holes burned straight through their centers, and a ball of flame was right on Ba’ast’s tail. Discord drooped. “Ah. That could have gone better…”
“You don’t say?” Ba’ast snarked. “Alright, alright, pull over before you make things worse.”
“As my lady wishes,” Discord said, slowing to a halt. The fireball slowed as well, dimming and shrinking, until all that remained were two slightly-smoldering mares.
Trixie raised a shaking hoof in the air. “That…” she whispered. “That was the most nerve-wracking, stupidly dangerous thing Trixie has ever done. Let’s go again.”
“My lady Ra,” Ba’ast said, stepping out of the wagon. “How good it is to see you and your priestess once more.”
Sunset met the cat’s eyes, distinctly unimpressed. “Care to explain why you’ve taken up street racing, Ba’ast?”
The cat pouted. “No hello?”
“Hello, kitty. Hello to you too, Discord. Now, Ba’ast, I like you. So I’m gonna give you ten whole seconds to explain what you think you’re doing before I start blasting, mmkay? Starting… now.”
Discord chortled and sat back on their haunches. “This should be good.”
“Why, we came to see you, darling,” Ba’ast said, flicking her tails over Sunset’s chin. “I heard you were walking among us once more, and we just couldn’t keep away.”
“Not what I meant,” Sunset said shortly. “Anubis says you stole his father’s bones, among several other accusations. And, while I don’t much like him, he is a relatively honest god, and these antics don’t exactly cast a lot of doubt on his testimony.”
Discord yawned and started filing their claws with a miniature crocodile. “Oh, him. He’s an absolutely crashing bore, you know.” They paused. “Maybe I can turn him into a wild boar.”
“Or send a boar to crash into him,” Trixie suggested.
“Trixie!”
Discord lit up. “Oh, I do like that,” they said, nodding. “I like that quite a lot, actually. Ba’ast, you didn’t mention that this one was a devotee of chaos.”
Trixie shrunk back a little under Discord’s grin. “Well, Trixie does not know if she would go that far.”
Discord’s smile only grew. Sunset lit her horn and blasted them in the face.
They yelped and fell backwards, patting frantically at their flaming goatee. Sunset looked back at Ba’ast, who had turned rather pale all of a sudden. “Getting back to my question,” she said brightly. “What’s new, pussycat?”
Ba’ast took a deep breath and locked eyes with Sunset. “We need your help.”
“Do you ever feel like you’re repeating yourself?” Trixie muttered.
Sunset raised an eyebrow and hummed in agreement.
“We have lived here for a thousand years, now,” Ba’ast began.
“Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard this from Anubis already,” Sunset said, shifting slightly on her hooves.
“Oh, Anubis,” Ba’ast said derisively. “Yes, you can certainly trust him to tell you all about one side of the story, can’t you. He’s a dog, you know. He can only see in black and white.”
“Actually, dogs can see in shades of blue and green --” Sunset began.
Ba’ast rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean.”
“I suppose so,” Sunset admitted. “Alright, let’s hear --”
“Interlopers!” a voice roared from the sky. “Your time has come!”
An ibis circled overhead. Ba’ast shielded her eyes. “Oh, it’s Thoth! Hello, Thoth! Did you get a new pair of glasses yet?”
“This is not your place, Ba’ast. Begone, or more will come and--”
“Shout at me from above?” the cat snarked. “Fine, fine, we only wanted to say hello. Come along, Discord.”
Discord finally snuffed the last ember in their goatee. “But Ba’ast,” they whined. “What about the other errands?”
She sighed. “Oh, alright, but let’s be quick about it.”
“Wait, hold on,” Sunset said. “You were just going to--”
“Sorry, Sunny, maybe later. Come stop by for a glass of coke sometime!”
“A glass of-- huh?” Trixie said.
Discord snapped their paw and both gods vanished from view.
A few moments later, Thoth fluttered to earth. “Well, that went rather better than I expected! If they’d stuck around, though, boy! I would’ve given them the old one-two-hullabaloo in short order, and no mistake! Hoo-ha!” He struck a pose, then seemingly registered Sunset and Trixie for the first time. “My Queen Ra! And her acolyte. How good it… is… to see you... Why are you both looking at me like that?”
The stream of cursing that followed that question was only overshadowed by the furious howling of a jackal who has suddenly found his loincloth around his ankles.

***

Sunset and Trixie received the royal treatment as far as their quarters were concerned. Well, technically, they were Ra’s quarters. Trixie, as her priestess was supposed to be mingling with the other religious high-ups in their rooms, but Sunset had very simply stated that sleeping apart would not be acceptable, and more or less everyone but Anubis had crumpled like wet cardboard.
Trixie all but threw herself onto the bed and wriggled around in the sheets, humming and purring like a cat. “This. This is the life.”
Sunset laughed, letting all the tensions of the day fall from her shoulders. “Dork.”
“Excuse Trixie? Have you seen the size of this bed? You could fit Trixie’s whole wagon on this thing, plus the TARDIS, and still have room to comfortably cuddle.”
“Yeah, I guess, but what do you do with all that extra space?” Sunset asked. “You’d need about twelve more ponies if you didn’t want to waste it.”
“Or you could move around all night. Whenever one spot gets too hot, move down a meter and it’s nice and cool!”
Sunset trotted over to inspect the bed more closely. She pushed down on the mattress. “Oh, that’s soft. Especially for this point in history.”
Trixie burrowed deeper into the blankets.
“So,” Sunset said, hopping up on the bed. “I think that after everything that happened today, we should probably have a little talk.”
“Trixie is not fond of that phrase.”
“Oh?”
“Whenever she’s heard ‘have a little talk’ in the past, it has only signalled immense and immediate troubles ahead.”
“I see. How about a conversation? Can we have a conversation about today?”
“That suits Trixie much better, thank you.”
“Alright then, let’s do that. But first…” Sunset lit her horn, and an opaque red shield spell materialized around both mares. “Soundproofing.”
“Useful.”
“Extremely,” Sunset agreed. “Especially when we know for a fact that our host trusts us exactly as much as we trust him.”
“Ah, yes. What do you think of ol’ tall, dark and stupid’s sudden need of our help?”
“I think he’s being honest, if nothing else,” Sunset said. “He’s aggressive, impulsive, and stubborn, but I don’t think he’s a natural liar.”
“Trixie senses a ‘but’.”
“Yeah. Like Ba’ast was saying, he’s not a liar, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t completely blinkered by his own prejudices. There’s a lot that he was saying about balance among the gods that really rubbed me the wrong way. First of all, from what I know about this pantheon, none of the gods are what you’d call ‘chaos-aligned’, except for Sutekh. Chaos and evil are practically synonymous around here.”
“Trixie doesn’t quite follow.”
“Well, if none of the gods are commonly considered chaotic, what’s the metric Anubis is using to determine whether they’re orderly or chaotic in his eyes?”
“Ah. Maybe whether they were with him or against him, back in the Omphalos?”
“It’s a possibility, but there’s no way to know for sure without more investigation. Plus, all of the ‘chaotic’ gods are being forced out into the wilderness, while Anubis and his cronies keep the cities and towns? That seems really suspicious to me.”
Trixie tapped her hooves together. “We need to talk to Discord and Ba’ast again.”
“I agree. But how can we find them? With Discord’s power, they could be literally anywhere. I wouldn’t put it past them to set up a base on the moon.”
“Or their own pocket dimension,” Trixie said.
“So we’re stuck.”
Trixie raised an eyebrow. “Not… necessarily.”
“How do you mean?”
“Well, we don’t know where they are, but they sure know where we are.”
Sunset shifted to a more comfortable sitting position. “I’m sure I’m not gonna like this. Go on.”
“Well, it’s like this,” Trixie said. “Discord is a spirit, right?”
“...Yeah.”
“Well, Trixie has some… experience with summoning spirits. Never on the, you know, actually doing it part, but she’s seen plenty.”
“Trixie… your brother?”
“No, Trixie watched Princess flippin’ Cadance summon spirits every Sunday at the theater, yes of course Trixie’s brother!”
“But… what he did to you was--”
“Trixie is perfectly aware of what he did to her. But Trixie is also perfectly aware that she managed to get his assets seized by the crown and his butt locked up in jail for twelve years. She will use what he didn’t even know he was teaching her in order to solve this mystery, and she’ll do it better, faster, and cheaper than he’d ever dream of.”
Sunset let out a long breath. “Okay. If you’re sure, you’re sure. Far be it from me to stand in your way.”
“Trixie is certain,” Trixie said. She sounded like she was trying to convince herself as much as she was Sunset.
“Alright. What do you need?”
“A circle, of course. A conduit, and an offering.”
“Right. Which in practical terms means what, exactly?”
Trixie pursed her lips. “The circle is relatively easy. Some of them have runes, for protection, but Discord just wanted to talk, right? And it’s not like they couldn’t have already hurt us if they really wanted to. So just a circle will do.”
“Alright. No, not alright, actually, I’m going to have to nix that one, you’re putting up at least a moderate amount of protective runes there.”
“Oh, come on, it’s just Discord. Trixie’s met Discord, they’re annoying, but they wouldn’t ever really hurt anypony.”
“They haven’t met Fluttershy yet.”
“Okay, point taken. Trixie will put in some nice solid runes and maybe a brick wall.”
“That’s more like it. What about the other two parts?”
“A conduit would be a way to attract the spirit’s attention, so Trixie was maybe thinking about setting off a couple of fireworks inside the palace.”
“Nice.”
“And then there’s the offering. That’s payment for their time.” Trixie pursed her lips. “Difficult. What do you get the being that can summon up anything they desire at a moment’s notice?”
“Um… something original?”
Trixie cocked her head. “Interesting. Trixie will have to sleep on that one. On the subject of which, Trixie demands snuggle time.”
“Yeah, yeah, fine. We’ll do it tomorrow, sound good?”
“Yes. Keep Anubis and his cronies distracted, Trixie will do the rest.”
“Alright, then.” Sunset dispelled the shield. “G’night, Trixie.”
“Love you,” Trixie murmured, snuggling closer to Sunset’s chin.
“Love you too.”
When the firelight of Sunset’s mane and wings had faded to a dull glow, Nephi quietly pushed open his hiding-place in the wall and stole out of the room. Even with his sharp ears, he hadn’t been able to hear a word from inside their magic bubble. But, the jackal thought as he cast one last glance back at the priestess curled up in the hooves of her goddess, at least he hadn’t left totally empty-pawed. Anubis would be pleased to have this information.

***

Sunset awoke early the next morning. Much to her surprise, Trixie was already out of bed, staring out the window. “Hey. S’matter?” she asked, rolling off of the covers.
“Nothing,” Trixie said. “Trixie got up early, that’s all.”
“Oh. Whatcha looking at?”
“The sunrise.” Trixie didn’t look away from the horizon. “How did they do it? Trixie sees no unicorns out there.”
“Horus,” Sunset said, interrupting herself with a yawn. “He was the sun god after Ra… left, I guess. Dunno much more than that, really.”
“Interesting.”
Sunset hesitated. “So is there a reason you’re looking at the sun, or what?”
“Trixie thought she mentioned, back in Unicornia. Looking at the sunrise together is kinda romantic.”
Sunset froze for a long minute. “...Oh,” she said softly. “That sounds… that sounds really nice, yeah.”
She stood beside Trixie, and together they watched as the sun rose over the horizon. “Trixie,” Sunset said quietly. “When you talk to Discord today… ask them if they can get us back home. I want to see the sun raised by Princess Celestia again.”
“You know they won’t do that.”
“We can ask.”
Trixie gazed out at the horizon a little longer. “Yeah,” she agreed. “We can ask.”
Sunset shuffled a little closer to Trixie, and after a moment’s hesitation, Trixie rested her head on Sunset’s withers. “We’ll get back there,” Trixie murmured. “One way or another, we’ll get back.”
“Of course we will,” Sunset said firmly. “I’m technically a goddess, you’re great and powerful, what could ever hope to stand in our way?”
“That’s true! That is very true,” Trixie agreed. “Trixie thinks she will be ready to put the plan into action by around ten o'clock, so keep everyone away from… say, that courtyard we passed through yesterday. The one with all those big pottery jars?”
“Okay. You realize that once you start setting off fireworks, there’s only so much I can do to keep you from being discovered.”
“Well, yes, Trixie will have to keep the conversation short and then run like buggery, but she is fully capable of that.”
“Alright. Break a leg, okay?”
“Trixie is almost insulted you think she would do otherwise. Just… keep all of yours intact, alright?”
“Trixie, I don’t think anycreature here is about to attack me. I’m Ra, remember? I’m kind of a big deal.”
“Trixie knows! But she does not trust Anubis as far as she could throw him.”
Sunset nodded. “I take your point. But for now, we have to work with him. The sooner you get Discord and Ba’ast’s side of things, the sooner we can reevaluate that relationship.”
“Trixie understands. She will meet you back here when the ritual is completed.”
“Alright. I’ll let you get to it.” Sunset turned to go, but paused.
“Is something the mat--” Trixie began. She was cut off as gentle lips pressed against her cheek.
And then Sunset was hurrying out the door before Trixie could recover enough to say or do anything more. She put a hoof to her cheek and kept it there for a long minute. Then she giggled and trotted out of the room with a spring in her step.

***

Sunset hurried into the auditorium where the TARDIS was being kept. Anubis was already there with a small coterie of other gods, though Sunset was relieved to note that she wasn’t the last one there. Thoth, she noted, was loitering at the outskirts of the group, casting nervous glances at Sunset every now and again.
She felt a little bad about that. Thoth had only been doing his job. On the other hoof, he had kind of been a dick when Sunset told him off yesterday, so she wasn’t all that bothered.
“Good morning,” she said briskly. “Anubis, I believe you called this meeting, so I’ll allow you to take the lead.”
The jackal scowled a little at that. “...Yes, thank you, Queen Ra. We shall begin when everyone has assembled here.” He paused and cocked his head. “Where has your priestess gone?”
“I wasn’t of the impression that we were to bring along our religious functionaries,” Sunset said, unblinking. “Should I go and fetch her?”
“No, no,” Anubis said. “I was surprised to learn that the two of you aren’t permanently fused at the hip, nothing more.”
“She is a good and faithful companion. I assumed that a dog such as yourself would understand that much.”
All of the other gods had gone very still now. Anubis tilted his head, as though considering a precious jewel. “I do apologize if I caused offense, my Lady Ra. Such was never my intention.”
Sunset didn’t move, nor even blink, staring at the jackal for several moments until he began to look uncomfortable. 
“Apology accepted, Anubis,” she said at length. “To answer your question, Trixie has requested that she be able to investigate the location of Dis-- this new god’s encampment. I decided that her time would be better spent in pursuit of that goal than being patronized at her mistress’s side.”
Anubis hesitated, then nodded and looked away.
“Anubis.”
The jackal glanced up once more.
Sunset locked eyes with him. “You would be wise to wag your tongue less and your tail more.”
Anubis tucked his tail between his legs and bowed. “Yes, my Queen Ra.”
Sunset gave a short, sharp nod, then glanced around the room. “Are we all assembled, then?”
Silence filled the room. “Well?” Sunset demanded.
All eyes fell on Thoth. The ibis started, then fumbled with his tablet. “Er, almost,” he said. “Isis seems to be running a tad late this morning.”
Sunset sighed. “Very well. If she hasn’t turned up in ten minutes, we’ll start without her. In the meantime…” she thought for a moment. How to keep several gods occupied for ten minutes?
A wicked thought struck her. It was time-consuming, entirely appropriate for the occasion, and best of all, it was utterly miserable. “Right, then. It’s been so long since I’ve seen any of you. Perhaps we should re-introduce ourselves. We’ll go around the room, and I want all of you to tell me your name, what domain you’re in charge of, why you prefer order to chaos, and one interesting fact about yourself. Thoth, why don’t you start?”
The ibis fumbled his tablet and stylus and started stammering. Every other creature in the room looked equally horrified. Sunset smiled at every last stinkin’ one of them.

***

“Okay,” Trixie muttered. “Something new. Something unique. Something that the god of Chaos has never seen before. Something… unexpected.” She considered that. “Hm. Might work. What the Tartarus, Trixie doesn’t have any better ideas.”
She grabbed a sheet of papyrus and a stylus and started drawing. After a few moments, she held it up to the light and studied it. It was kinda shitty, if Trixie was being honest with herself. That was fine. She lit her horn and punched two holes in the paper. Perfect.
She tucked the finished product under her cloak and hurried from the room. Thankfully, the halls were almost totally empty -- last night’s cheering crowd had apparently only turned up for the reappearance of Ra. Though Trixie was usually quite appreciative of an audience, she was grateful for the reprieve under the circumstances. Anubis would probably call it treason or something. Technically, it probably was, but Trixie wasn’t going to let a little thing like that stand in her way.
At last, she reached the courtyard she had remembered from yesterday. Or at least, she had reached a courtyard, which was close enough. There were lots of breakable things sitting around, and that was the important thing. 
The first thing Trixie did upon entering the room was pull out a piece of chalk which she had swiped from a desk on her way here. Drawing the circle was a lengthy, complex process of runes upon runes in ever-growing concentric rings. It took her nearly an hour to complete, and took up nearly half the room. She sat back and wiped her brow, making sure no drop of moisture fell to smudge her carefully-drawn lines.
Trixie then doffed her hat and pulled out a series of fireworks. She put several of the smaller ones in jars around the room, and levitated the very largest one in the dead center of the circle. She looked at it fondly. “Godspeed, Blue Boomer 2000. Godspeed.”
Trixie cast one last glance around the room, and levitated large jars in front of every entrance in a way that would give any fire marshall a heart attack. She didn’t care. Trixie had survived worse. 
She glanced at the rings of runes that had so defined her childhood. Yes, Trixie had survived much worse.
She lit her horn and the circle glowed in kind. Sitting down at the edge, she began to chant. “Lecter phasma chao dolor ipsi aqua sit amet…”

***

They were some twenty minutes into the meeting, and everycreature was still casting acidic side-glances at Isis. The kite had flown in on a rainbow, apparently with the intention of being fashionably late. Unfortunately, she had arrived to find that had gone out of style roughly three seconds into Sunset’s get-to-know-you game. Isis had now shrunk into her perch under the weary, accusing glares of her fellows.
Aside from Sunset, the only one not glaring at Isis was Anubis, who had fallen into the meeting like a pony dying in the desert into an oasis.
She still wasn’t sure what the meeting was supposed to be about, honestly. Anubis had tried calling roll, but had been met with a near-mutiny. After about ten minutes spent arguing, Sunset had finally stepped in and called for a vote. Anubis’ roll call had been buried by a landslide, and Sunset was certain that he had lingered over the minutes out of sheer spite.
Although, she mused as Anubis called once again for any old business, that might just be the way he did things. That was fine. The longer they were here, the longer Trixie had to work.

***

laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat,” Trixie concluded. The glowing lines of the summoning circle spiked up into a waterfall of light. Trixie let the aura from her horn fade. She had connected.
Trixie took a deep breath and lit her horn again. A baker’s dozen of fuses lit as well.

***

Sunset felt the first salvo almost before she heard it. A shiver ran up her spine like a razor. The noise was too loud, too obvious, oh so much closer than they had agreed on the night before. Anubis paused for a moment in his recitation of the new business, but only for a moment. “As I was saying, we must reinforce our defences around Aviaris -- Nekhbet has been seen in that area, and her wingpower is a force with which to be reckoned.”
Hesitantly, Ptah raised a hand. “Shouldn’t we go… investigate whatever that explosion was?”
“We may put it to a vote during ‘other new business,’” Anubis said coldly. “At the appropriate time.”
Sunset almost laughed in relief. Anubis’s almost fanatical adherence to the schedule would give Trixie plenty of time to get away.
Another explosion went off.
“I propose we move the armies of three neighboring nomes to combat Nekbet’s forces. Are there any alternate proposals?”

***

Trixie watched, fascinated, as a long noodle shape formed in the ether. “Well, well, well,” a low voice said. “Isn’t this the novel experience. So few creatures choose to invite chaos into their life -- ah, of course, the disciple.”
Discord grinned out at her, not entirely unfriendly. “Decide to switch your allegiances, my dear?”
“No chance,” Trixie said. “Ra wants a meeting, to hear your side of the story, nothing more.”
“Interesting, interesting… but ah. I’m getting ahead of myself. Isn’t there meant to be an offering in all this?”
“Oh, yes.”
Discord quirked a brow. “Well! I certainly hope it’s a good one.”
“It is.”
Discord tapped their hoof impatiently. “Where is it?”
“Ah. Trixie thought that as the god of chaos, you would want to do this a little differently. Her mistake. And it was going to be such a surprise, too.” She reached into her cloak.
“Wait.”
Trixie paused.
“You got me a surprise?” Discord arched a brow. “So little surprises me these days, you know.”
“Trixie suspected as much, yes.”
“It’d have to be pretty unexpected to surprise one such as myself.”
“Certainly.”
Discord pursed their lips. “And you intend to give it to me…”
“When Trixie gets your side of the story.”
“An interesting proposal, and a bold request. I approve. Unfortunately, it is something of a long story, and by my calculation, it will be…” they paused, and suddenly Trixie could just hear the sound of creatures running, getting closer, louder. “Oh, forty seconds before the guards arrive. If you run now, you might just make it out. Or, you could erase a couple of those runes and I can take you to my secret lair that Anubis is gasping to get at. What’ll it be?”
Trixie hesitated. The clatter of feet on stone was very close now. She grabbed her chalk and scrawled a quick note on the stone floor. Then, in a flash, she ran into the circle and into Discord’s arms.
The door crashed down and the royal guards piled in. Apart from smoke and broken pottery, the room was totally empty.