Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR
Hearts and Paws Day,
part 5
[Ponyville]
“Every bucking time!” Saturnia growled, storming through town, she was tired a bit battered, and some idiot had cracked the jar of jam and it was making her sides sticky. While the idea of doing that later in the bed room was thought of, by this point she was just going to smell like an overturned apple cart. “I can't get within speaking distance of him before some stupid pegasus shows up, and by the time that's dealt with I have to find him again!”
“Umm please don't throw me any more.” Bees muttered as he staggered after her. He had been on the bad end of a number of mares who thought he was getting fresh after Saturnia had flung him at them bodily.
“I don't need to. Disguising myself as Rahs was a perfect plan to get one of them to tell me where they got the potion.” Saturnia growled. “Time to cut this off at the source.”
“Can I go home now?” Bees whined.
Jynx was less than thrilled as she stomped through town. Her cute little red dress was messed up, her hair a mess and she was splattered with dirt. Plus the bacon flowers were scattered all over the ally a few blocks away. Some of the pegasi had turned out to be pretty good scrappers in the end and she hadn't wanted to hurt them too badly. She had been so busy keeping the flock of pegasi away from Rahs that she had yet to get close to him herself as he did his shopping.
Still with some rather angry questioning of a particularly annoying mare, she had found out where they were getting the vials from.
While she had been prepared to fight for Rahs' affections, this was a bit ridiculous.
It was time to put a stop to this.
Trixie was pissed. She hadn't managed to get any where near Fuzzy all day, she had a headache from the countless illusions she had been casting, her gummies had been trampled in a minor riot that broke out, and she was completely out of fireworks.
Well out of fireworks that she carried with her, her wagon was still full of them.
She had finally tricked one of the pegasi into giving up the source of the potions by creating a complex illusion of the potion working. As the pegasi was rejoicing, Trixie had shoved her in a frog pond and dispelled the illusion while she was floundering around in the ice cold water like a over turned duck.
She had tried to be nice, she had tried to not be angry, she had even tried negotiation once.
Evidently 'proud former warrior' race translated to 'complete imbeciles' in the pegasus language.
Which was something that worried her.
If Saturnia was a pegasus, who cast those illusions on her?
She wasn't a god herself, if she was there was literally no point in her being subtle about her courting of Fuzzy, not to mention she said she was the daughter.
The children of a god were considered demi gods. They usually had no real powers from their parents , but were effectively immortal unless something killed them. The grand foals of gods were mortal, but were usually pinnacles of their race, the best a mortal could achieve naturally. Generations after that were just normal mortals.
So with Saturnia she was fighting with something most ponies would run from.
Trixie wasn't sure about Jynx. Her attraction seemed fairly off from what she heard about Diamond Dogs. They tended to be drawn to strength more than anything and as much as she liked Fuzzy, he was far more wiry than the bulky type that Diamond Dogs seemed to favor. That she claimed to be an alpha was odd too, as an alpha she could have had her pick of any in her pack, so why Rahs?
It was also pretty clear the massive mutt was hiding something. A number of red flags that Trixie had long identified when she started her own traveling show were all over Jynx.
Not as many as were on Saturnia, but enough for Trixie to notice.
Not that it mattered who Trixie was against. Trixie would not lose the war for Fuzzy's heart.... The blue mare couldn't help giggle and prance a little at that. All of this drama over him, when all was said and done this was perfect for the situation, Fuzzy would probably love the dramatic ridiculousness of the fight.
Still it was time to put a stop to this.
Trixie simply stared, her jaw fallen open and her left ear twitching at the scene before her.
Saturnia was muttering and growling under her breath.
Jynx had simply slapped her face with both claws and was cursing heavily in what sounded like at least two different languages.
A small line of pegasi stood in front of a a ramshackle wooden stall set up in a small park near the school. The little thing looked like it would be used to sell lemonade in the summer. Behind it was a small tent with closed flaps and covered with random archaic symbols and drawings.
What it was selling however was not anything like lemonade. 8x 10 glossy pictures of pony Rahs, for 15 bits. Strange bottled liquid, for 20 bits, little pamphlets on proper ways to break the curse using said potions, for 2 bits and hoof drawn maps of Ponyville, 1 bit each.
What caused the three to have issues however was not what the stand was selling. But the four, very short, mustached individuals running the stall. A little white unicorn filly with a bright pink mustache, a little orange pegasus filly with a bright blue mustache, a little yellow earth pony filly with a bright red mustache, and a purple dragon with a bright green mustache.
“SPIKE!?!?!” Trixie shouted drawing the attention of the mares trying to buy potions and the Cutie Mark Crusaders selling said potions.
Several of the pegasus mares having already run afoul of the trio took off like a shot, one though turned to glare at them.
“Wait your turn, it's not like the cursed prince is gonna want any of you three any weerrrrk!” the mare started to say.
The reason for her sudden silence was that Jynx had walked up slapped her hand atop the mares head, her large paw nearly covering it entirely. She then proceed to pick the mare up bodily with just that grip to bring her up to meet the pegasus' one uncovered eye with her own.
“I think you should leave.” Jynx said simply, staring at the held pegasus.
“I think I should leave.” the mare gulped and vanished like a shot the moment Jynx released her grip.
“Come on now, you're bad for business.” Spike crossed his arms looking up at them completely unintimidated.
“Spike, Trixie demands to know what the hay is going on here?” Trixie demanded what the hay was going on here.
“Seriously? It's not that complicated. “ Spike sighed. “It's discount candy day tomorrow and we needed bits.”
“ Not that, THIS!? “Saturnia questioned waving a hoof at the setup.” You're getting bits for candy by sacrificing your own brother?”
“He's fine, probably won't even leave the house.” Spike smirked.
“He did.” Jynx growled.
“Well that explains why no one was buying the maps to his 'lair' any more.” Spike grumbled.
“Spike explain now.” Trixie snapped. The Crusaders looked at each other then back to the three clearly annoyed adults before sighing.
“Fine, but only because I want you three to leave before we lose any more sales. We got let out of school early because Mrs Cheerilee needed a half day to go see her filly friend. “ Spike began.
“We really thought she was single and had a whole plot set up to get her a date today but with her having a special some pony that got shot down.” Scootaloo pipped in.
“On the way out we saw all these pegasi wandering around and I recognized some of them from Cloudsdale.” Spike continued.
“My big sister Princess Luna herself lumped any pegasus from Cloudsdale into the paparazzi hunting permit Spike has after they nearly got Rahs killed.” Sweetiebelle squeaked.
“So I stopped one and asked them what they are doing and she told me they found out that Rahs lived here and she was here to ' make him hers'. “ Spike gagged.
“Ah didn't even know that eyes fulla hearts thing could be literal.” Applebloom added. “ Really creepy stuff.”
“Anyway, rather than run them off I decided to open the booth here to sell some of the excess photos I have of Rahs. That's been a very lucrative side business before today and it's even better now.” Spike shrugged. “One of them asked me about the non-pony images and I tell them Rahs was cursed.”
“She gets it in her head to try and find a cure for it and Applebloom, who was distracted fawning over Spike, pipes in that Zecora's out in the Everfree with a cure, but that as her assistant she knew how to make it.”Sweetiebelle giggled.
“Ah ain't fawning over nothing.” Applebloom grumbled though both she and Spike turned a bit red.
“So she makes a cure for poison joke, the mare confused it with a beauty and the beast style cure for Rahs being a Moon Dog. She tells every one else and suddenly we've got a line of mares wanting the cure.” Sweetiebelle finished.
“Long story short, we're selling poison joke cure and Sweetiebelle's just been making it glow for added effect.” Spike shrugged.
“My big sister taught me how to do a light spell, but it's not too bright yet.” Sweetie protested.
“But the runes....” Saturnia pointed out.
“Oh they're from one of my games. Pretty much nonsense stuff where the creators got it in their head to make a new language.” Spike shrugged. “Going by the game books the runes actually spell out 'poison joke cure' or 'idiot' I'd have to re-look at my books to be sure.”
“So you mean to tell Trixie..... that Trixie has been running around protecting Fuzzy from..... soapy WATER?” Trixie demanded in a near shriek.
“Of course not. You've been making us bits too. These pegasi keep coming back for more after they lose what we sold them.” Spike stated.
“How is this legal?”Saturnia growled.
“Captain Comet Trail came by with his filly friend and said we were clear so long as Spike had his permit cause what we were selling was actually a cure for a curse and there's no false advertising involved.” Applebloom stated. “My sister wasn't too thrilled with thinking we was fibbing, but we really didn't lie about anything. We just told them he was cursed, not telling um which image that was, and sold them what the cure was to that curse really was.”
“And the mustaches?” Jynx asked the glaringly obvious question the other two seemed to be ignoring.
“Cause mustaches are cool.” Spike stated as the four of them proceeded to twirl the large bushy mustaches at the same time. “Plus it makes us look older and some of them were leery of buying things from kids.”
The trio of females stared menacingly down at the fillies and dragon, weighing the odds of survival as well as their chances with Rahs if they flung them into the nearest lake.
Such thoughts were stopped as two ponies trotted up to the stand.
“Hey Spike, girls, business going well?” The Nox-Cal Guard Captain, Comet Trail asked.
“Pretty good, we should be able to clean out Barnyard Bargains for the discount candy tomorrow.” Spike smirked.
“Good to hear. Anyway you four don't happen to know who owns the cart parked on the edge of town do you?” Comet Trail sighed. “I hate to be working on my day off but it seems the owner of the land there got annoyed at the cart parked on her property and called a friend of hers to tow it to his impound yard. I'm trying to find the owner to let her know it's not stolen, just being towed to Canterlot where his impound yard is. Bit of a dick move if you ask me, but legal as the guy towing it is a licensed repo.”
“ TRIXIE'S CART!” Trixie yelped taking off like a shot towards where her cart had been.
“Oh well... that was easy then.” Comet Trail shrugged. “Works over, shall we get back to the date?”
The Nox-Cal guard smirked looking over at the giggling blonde maned gray furred pegasus that had been walking with him. She nodded with a smile and the pair walked off.
Jynx however was glaring at Saturnia, the grin on the bugs face spoke volumes about who really had the wagon towed.
“Saturnia … Saturnia!!!!!” a green eyed stallion with a brown coat and sandy blonde mane shouted running up to the small group.
The blue pegasus glared at the offending stallion as he all but collapsed out of breath.
The crusaders stared at the odd stallion before Applebloom noticed something.
“Hey he doesn't have a cutiemark!” Applebloom fussed before the others moved to look.
“What? Yes I do. I'm a real pony.... and shoot.” Bees stated suddenly looking back at his flank and seeing it blank. His eyes widened before he quickly turned around showing his other flank had a small Bee on it. “It's just on this side see.”
The girls seemed a bit disappointed, Jynx was amused, and Saturnia slapped her face with her hooves.
“Bees.... what do you want....?” Saturnia demanded in a growl that spoke of untold menace.
“Oh you're mothers on the mirror, she wants to talk to you and she's not really happy you're out and about today.”Bees reported quickly.
“WHAT?! Who told her I was out?” Saturnia paled, something the crusaders had their attention drawn to as the dark blue pegasus literally paled to be a more pastel sky blue.
“Oh, I did.” Bees admitted.
“WHY would you do that!?!” Saturnia nearly shrieked.
“Because she asked.” Bees stated simply.
For the second time a pony took off like a shot from the Crusaders stand racing back into town in a panic.
Bees however pronked along after her at a more sedate pace, after all he wasn't in trouble, not yet any way.
Jynx smiled a little before looking over to Spike. “Do you know where your brother is now?”
“Probably at home. Like I said I didn't even expect him to leave the house.” Spike shrugged. “So are like .. the three of you interested in him then?”
“Would we have done all this if we were not?” Jynx questioned.
“I dunno, adults are weird.” Scootaloo added.
Jynx smirked making her way towards Golden Oaks Library. Seems she had won this, she was the only one left.....
A rumble at her paws made the large Diamond Dog step back as the ground opened before her and a graying furred head popped up out of the hole looking around. The small calico pup on the canines back made Jynx sigh as it's cheerful yip made the mother whirl about to look up at her.
“Of course. What is wrong Terri?” Jynx let out a small whimper.
“Alpha... Rex convinced the other dogs you abandoned pack. He trying to make himself new alpha.” Terri shouted.
“I have not even been gone a full day!”Jynx growled.
“They say it feel like you gone forever.” Terri stated.
“Terri I have not managed to even talk to Rahs today yet.” Jynx rubbed her temples.
“They already fighting.” Terri whined.
“FIIIIIIINE!” Jynx growled as the smaller dog dropped down the hole and Jynx stepped in after her , the tunnel rapidly filling up as the pair left.
Spike and the Crusaders watched with some interest the goings on in front of her before Scootaloo spoke up.
“Should I tell Rainbow Dash about the new betting pool?” Scootaloo asked.
“Oh yeah.” Spike grinned.
“Big Sister said she wanted in on the next one.” Sweetiebelle stated.
“So does mai brother.” Applebloom added.
[ Golden Oaks Library]
Rahs stretched out on the couch reading his new book as he took another bite out of an apple. Spike should be home before too long, Twilight was probably gone for the night. No giant disasters had happened, no Princesses or monsters based on the holiday showed up.
“ I need more calm days like this around here.”