Edited by:
PieisGood4U
BlazinBlade7
dialgex
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Okay, so that was a little bit anti-climactic, I had really been expecting the rows of impassive guards and the monstrous Redtooth. Bit disappointing really. I had psyched myself up for a boss battle and got...nothing really.
Summer and Iron began to check the room for any hidden guards, the two experienced fighters refusing to drop their guards even without any enemies in sight. I was far less cautious, simply sauntering straight down the center of the room and towards the throne. As I reached the large stone seat, I leapt up so that I was standing on the armrests with my head poking over the back.
The space behind the throne, like the rest of enormous chamber, was lit by flickering torches that were set into mountings on the wall. The whimsical light danced over the faces of the foal's trapped inside the rusty cage, illuminating their terrified eyes. They gazed at me in a combination of fear and curiosity, some of them flinching away from me. Whatever these foals had been through at Redtooths paws it had clearly left them damaged. I swallowed my anger at this mistreatment of innocents, didn't want to show any anger in front of the foals. Instead I replaced it with my best showman’s smile.
Showtime!
"Hey there, young 'uns, I'm the Amazing Ace, Magician Extraordinaire! And I'm here to perform a very special trick. You all remember that big old meanie Redtooth?" They all nodded nervously "Well, I'm going to make all of his slaves...completely disappear"
Now their nervousness and fear was transformed, as if by magic, into excitement at the prospect of freedom. I noticed their wide eyes shoot down to the side of the throne and, following their gaze, saw Summer peeking her head around the throne. It had been at least ten minutes since I last annoyed her.
Hey, I wonder if I can make her facehoof.
"And this is Summer Storm, my lovely assistant. We do this amazing trick where I saw her in half before putting her back together...also she looks damn good in a shiny leotard"
I sent a cheeky wink at the foals which elicited giggles from them, as for Summer.
Face. Hoof. Contact.
Jackpot!
"Ignore the idiot, children, he's a terrible role model. Ace, quit joking around and pick this lock, we don't know how long we have before Redtooth shows up."
I was starting to feel like my sense of humour wasn't being completely appreciated, it was all just 'Do this, do that. Try and be serious, we're in life-threatening danger'
Damn plebeians.
I leapt over the throne, throwing my body fully over the back, ending up almost upsetting several pots that were stacked directly behind the seat. Who sets pots behind a throne anyway? I wonder what Redtooth kept inside them? Fine wine? Treasure? Secrets of an intimate nature?
Whatever it is, I bet it's valuable.
My curiosity may very well have been one of my more dangerous traits, it has certainly got me into plenty of trouble in the past. However, there was something far more important than mere satisfaction of my curiosity at the moment. Got to free these foals first. I bent down to examine the lock that kept them contained inside the cage, it looked far simpler than the ones on the unicorn horn rings. The foals cage lock was a lot chunkier and had clearly just been chosen because it looked large and impressive. In my experience, the larger locks are just compensating for their lack of an intricate mechanism.
I wonder what else Redtooth is compensating for.
It was also easier thanks to the illumination, the amount of torches that Redtooth had around his throne was ridiculous. They effectively eliminated any shadows but had the downside of practically turning the area into an oven. I found myself sweating under the light of the torches, I couldn’t even begin to imagine how bad it must be for the foals with their full fur coats.
There was a satisfying clunk from the lock as the mechanism inside yielded to my probing. I quickly yanked the lock off and pulled the cage open, releasing the foals. My heart was warmed as they stumbled out of their cage, smiles threatening to split their faces in half. I had no idea how long they had been locked in there but it had apparently been long enough to weaken their underdeveloped legs. I called Summer and Iron over with a wave of my hand.
“Guys, get the foals out of here. They’re going to need some help walking.”
“What about you?” Summer asked as she began to lift foals up in her telekinesis.
“I’ll catch up. I’m a bit curious about Redtooth’s stash…I think I’m going to rob him”
“Alright, just be careful”
“Don’t die kid” Iron Will added, his arms overflowing with foals. He could barely hold on to all that adorableness.
“Don’t worry, if I’m not out in ten minutes…”
“We leave you behind for the good of the group?”
“…No! You get back here and rescue me! I don’t want to die!”
This got a chuckle from Summer and Iron as well as giggles from the foals. Screw them, I wasn’t kidding.
They left to evacuate the foals from the throne room whilst I inspected the seal on the large pots. Most of them appeared to be sealed tight with some kind of binding wax. I would need a crowbar or something to break the seal on one of those, where’s Gordon Freeman when you need him?
What’s this now? One of the jars at the end appeared to have its seal already broken. How fortunate. I quickly grabbed the top of the pot and pulled it away, allowing me to see its contents. I had been expecting gold or perhaps some gems but what I got was entirely different. It was a liquid, but it definitely wasn’t wine. At first I thought the jar to be empty, as all I could see inside it was darkness. However I realised this wasn’t the case when the darkness appeared to move, twisting and sloshing around the confines of the pot without any outside assistance. I found myself entranced by its strange movements, how the light of the torches seemed to be absorbed by its beauty. How it danced with a wild energy. The urge to consume it, to taste its sweet nectar, threatened to overwhelm me. Just a little sip, that wouldn’t be too bad. It could make me stronger. Strong enough to defeat Redtooth, to save everyone. I wouldn’t need anyone else. Just me, the king of the world.
I reached into the jar, scooping up some of the miracle liquid into my hand. It was so beautiful to behold. How could I possibly have thought that it looked like pure darkness? It was clearly the brightest liquid in the world. It seemed to shine with a light of its own, not needing any illumination from a torch. Unlike other drinks, which would flow with wild abandon and try to escape from any hand that cupped them, this fine brew stayed in my hand, eager to be tasted. I complied to its enthusiastic entreaty, raising my hand to my lips to sup upon the fabulous liquid.
Just as I was about to allow the drink to flow past my lips, I was interrupted by a flushing sound and the opening of a door. I glanced up from the enchanting liquid to see Redtooth entering the room, flanked by four torch carrying guards. Clutched in between his paws was a small pink towel, which he was using to dry his furry paws. He looked up from his cleaning and saw me standing next to his throne, a handful of his precious drink raised to my lips.
Awkward.
My eyes noticed the small towel he held and, in a moment of horrible clarity, noted the frilly edges and the embodied ‘RT’ done in purple on one corner of the cloth. The sight of the towel, so out of place being held by the giant dog, seemed to cause a short circuit inside the hilarity computation part of my brain. It was too much. He looked completely ridiculous and it was just too much for me. I idly noted that the drink was falling from my grasp as my brain failed to process the scene in front of me and my hand went limp, the foul liquid forming a puddle at my hooves.
My brain worked overtime as I tried to process what exactly Redtooth, the mad Alpha of an entire clan of intimidating Diamond Dogs, was doing with a small fluffy towel.
Maybe he just strangled someone to death with it? You know, for the irony?
Wait a moment…Flushing sound? Wiping his paws?
Had he just been?…next to his throne room?…with his guards?!
Who the hell has guards accompany them to the bathroom? I don’t even think the paranoid rulers back on Earth do that!
Okay, I’m officially getting over my disgust at Redtooth’s lack of personal space issues. I’m now more concerned with how he’s angrily glaring at me with the intention to murder clear on his face.
Evidently, he does not like people touching his drink. I’ll remember that for next time.
“Who the hell do you think you are?!” He roared at me, spittle flying between his teeth. Sure am glad I’m not one of his guards. The amount of spit this guy throws about, it must be a very damp job.
“That’s a good question. Who am I? Don’t we all ask ourselves that question at some point in our lives. Who are we? What’s our place in the universe? Am I even real? How can I be sure about such a thing? Far greater minds than I have pondered such questions since time immaterial and have, as a collective, been stumped. Is there truly no answer out there? Or can we just not comprehend it? However, I am guessing you aren’t the philosophical kind and are actually simply enquiring to my identity. To which I must answer thusly.”
I leapt up onto his throne, my hooves balanced on either arm rest. Throwing my hands out wide I exclaimed:
“Voila! A name is but a function. A way of identifying an individual and thus, a name should give a good indication of the individual and their personality, as well as the limits of their abilities. So you may call me the Amazing Ace, Magician Extraordinaire!”
The confusion on the dogs faces deepened at this over the top introduction. Using confusion on violent people was probably not the greatest strategy. Confused people tend to fall back on what they know, and what these dogs know is…
“Kill him!” Redtooth ordered, as his guards lowered their spears and charged towards me.
…that.
The guards were quick to close the distance with me, their loping charge giving them great speed. However, I was ready for them. I reached into one of my pouches and pulled out an item which most would consider to be the most innocuous and harmless substance in the world. Corn starch, purchasable at nearly any market and found in bakeries everywhere, was nearly incapable of causing any damage on its own. However, when oxygenated and combined with a flame source, such as the many torches that surround me, it could suddenly become quite dangerous.
I grabbed a handful of the powder and threw it into my mouth, simultaneously grabbing a torch from its bracket with my other hand. The guard’s were right in front of me now, ready to thrust their spears forward and end the annoyance that was my existence. They were certainly well trained, each one of them aiming their weapons with pinpoint precision at my chest. Each spear on its own would have been a killing blow, but together they would impale me to this throne with ease. Best not let that happen then.
I leapt up, drawing my knees to my chest as I jumped, allowing the spears to pass harmlessly beneath me. The heads of the spears impacted the back of the throne with a satisfying crack, splintering the rock and trapping the spears there. The dogs barely had time to react before I landed on the makeshift platform their combined spear thrust had created and stared at them, raising the torch to my mouth.
I would have said a one liner about now but unfortunately my mouth was full of oxygenated, and now flammable, corn starch. I made do with just wiggling my eyebrows suggestively at the dogs…it’s just not the same.
I spat the corn starch directly at the flaming torch, pointing it at the surprised faces of the guards. The starch shot forwards from my mouth, hitting the fire and igniting, before continuing its deadly journey directly into the guards faces. The dogs fell back, howling and pawing at their heads as the flames took hold.
I was honestly surprised by the effectiveness of this attack. I was expecting it just to disorientate them, maybe ruin their eyesight a bit so I could make my escape, and against humans that is exactly what it would have done. The lack of a liquid accelerant such as propane made the corn starch flamethrower rather ineffective as an actual weapon. The flames would dissipate almost instantly without anything to keep it going. A human would have been able to swipe the flames away with a clothed arm, as many clothes have some form of fire resistance built in. In addition, humans, unlike Diamond Dogs, don’t have fur coats.
Which, it turns out, are quite flammable…who knew?
The dogs ran past Redtooth, who swiped at them ineffectively in anger. The guards ignored his rage, far more concerned with the fact that their faces were on fire. I like these guys, they’ve got their priorities straight. They disappeared into what was presumably the bathroom to extinguish the fire, leaving me and Redtooth alone.
“So…my next trick is one I like to call ’Getting-the-fuck-out’. I’m going to need some audience participation on this one. How about you sir? The huge ugly guy with the face not even a mother could love? Just turn around, close your eyes and count to a hundred.”
Surprisingly, Redtooth didn’t want to participate in my trick. I tell you, some people just have no sense of the dramatic. Rather than complying with my instruction, he roared and charged at me, arms spread wide and claws out. Okay, I’ve faced hecklers before. You just need to take a firm approach with them.
As he reached the edge of dais and was about to ascend to swipe at me I leapt forward, using the impaled spears as a springboard to send me soaring over his head. He vainly attempted to catch my flying form with his claws but I was too swift for him, passing clean over him and landing on my hooves with my arms stretched to either side like a gymnastic. I took a sweeping bow to an imaginary audience, pretending to throw them kisses in return for their applause.
The door behind me was smashed open and I whirled round, expecting more guards. However for once I was pleasantly surprised to find someone not trying to kill me. Iron and Summer stood on either side, for foal free and ready for battle. They’d come back for me! They really do care!
“Paws off the idiot! He’s ours!”
‘Care’ is a really subjective word. Oh well, I can roll with it.
“Give it up Redtooth, it’s over!” Despite feeling like a massive cliché for saying that I still felt like it was fairly effective.
Redtooth glared at us and growled, flexing his paws and brandishing his claws. I could see him assessing his chances at beating us and to be honest, I wouldn’t like to be in his position right now. Iron Will could probably take him on his own, with me and Summer backing him up the outcome was inevitable. Redtooth apparently figured this out as well as he sheathed his claws and began to back down. Thank Goddess, I was worried that this would all end in violence.
Just as we began to lower our guard, Redtooth acted. He leapt over to the open jar by the side of his throne and grabbed it and, raising it to his mouth, began to chug its foul contents. We could only stare in confusion as he downed the entire pot, throwing it to the side once it was finished. He then grabbed his stomach in pain, clutching it and howling. I saw his fur, already a sickly white, begin to fall away from his body as lumps rose under his skin. The bumps started in his stomach, then began to move throughout his body, worming around under his skin. Redtooth began to rip at the lumps, tearing away fur and even skin in his panic to get at them. The lumps beneath his skin began to move as one, heading up his body and towards his head. He clawed desperately at them, trying to stop their advance, but it was all in vain. The lumps coalesced into a single lump on top of his head, squirming about and stretching his skin. Redtooth let out a final howl of pain and despair before, with a sickening popping sound, his head exploded.
Gore splattered outwards as the huge diamond dog fell, now headless. I felt sick at the sight of it. Outside of movies, I had never seen anything so gruesome. Redtooth may have been a villain but he didn’t deserve…whatever that was. No one did.
I was about to turn away and leave, no longer able to handle the sight of the corpse, when I noticed some movement out of the corner of my eye. That couldn’t be right. I’m no expert on Diamond Dog physiology but I’m pretty sure they need a head to live.
Redtooth’s body was convulsing on the ground, clawing at the stone floor and kicking out at the pots around him, knocking many of them over. They shattered, releasing their dark liquid, which began to pool around Redtooth’s headless corpse. As soon as the liquid touched the bloody stump where his head used to be there was a gurgling sound and the water began to rush into his neck, which greedily absorbed the drink.
We looked on in horror as the creature that had once been Redtooth began to change. The remainder of his fur fell out and the skin beneath began to change colour, from a pale pink to foreboding black. His muscles expanded to grotesque proportions and he grew so that he towered above us all. His claws, once fearsome even by Diamond Dog standards, extended even further until he appeared to have claymores on the end of each finger. The worst of all was saved for last as the stump that had once held the head of the vicious Alpha grew something far worse. Multiple necks split off from the main stump, each one a pure jet black. They grew outwards, extending to horrific length, until they eventually stopped and the stumps at the end began to split, revealing razor sharp teeth. The black skin above the mouths split open to reveal slanted red eyes.
I wondered if the creature in front of me retained some part of Redtooths mind as all of the heads locked their red gazes onto me with an unnatural hatred. I barely managed to stop my knees from knocking together in fear as the monster’s snake heads hissed at me.
Huh…that’s one hell of a trick