Every week or so, I play this thing, trying to find that perfect melody. I don't know what it sounds like, what notes to play, or what scale it is. But I know it's out there. My hooves press down on the chilly keys, blowing steam through the golden pipes above.
Something that not too many ponies know is that this thing is just sitting here, deep in the Canterlot bowels. Looking up, I see large, towering pipes that shoot into the dark abyss above. Haunting melodies pour out of their mouths, filling the cold room with music.
Everything is cold here. The old walls, the worn bench, hell, even me. I'm freezing. My white fur stands on its end, and my blue mane feels like ice when it touches my face. Eyes closed, I ignore it and continue playing. My violet shades sit on the floor beneath me.
I'm not one to argue, really, and the lonely room that houses this lonely organ suites it just fine. I hum along with the notes, swaying back and forth. A light smile touches my lips, and my breathing slows. The music pours through me, wrapping me in its embrace.
Really, I've found that ponies have come to think that the organ is evil, only playing ghostly tunes that chill their hearts. Me? I think it's beautiful, really. The amazing voice that the instrument holds... it's powerful.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm being poetic or cheesy.
I shrug and continue to press down on the keys, moving from the left, to center, to left again. It's second nature for me. As I play, I hear the question of the princess again. She wondered why I come, why I play this forgotten organ. I said I didn't know, and in truth, I don't. I suppose I understand why she asked, though. It's unusual for a disc jockey to enjoy classical music to the extent that I do.
Again I shrug, continuing my movements. It is no doubt late now, and I know I need to get home soon. I press down on the final keys, firing them off rapidly and moving up the scale. I end with a high note that sends a chill through me. Not, as I have said before, ghostly; I feel warm, a bit fuzzy even.
Opening my eyes, I am greeted by the dim flicker of a candle. I focus, and the shades beneath me lift up, surrounded by a pink aura. I bring them to my face, sliding them onto the bridge of my nose. They fit perfectly, turning everything a light lavender. I fall from the bench, landing on my hooves and facing the doors at the other end of the room.
After a quick stretch, I start for them, when they suddenly swing open. A white mare whose mane is perfectly styled enters, escorted by two guards. I immediately recognize her, rushing up to her and giving her a warm hug. She returns the embrace with a giggle, and I can't help but smile. This is my best friend, after all.
"Rarity," I say, "How are things?" We back off and smile at each other.
"Fine," she says. "The trip to Manhattan was a pain, of course, but oh, if only you had seen the look on my client's face when I brought her wedding dress to her."
My smile grew wider. "That was nice of you. Always the generous one."
She shrugs and put on a duckface. "It's in my nature. Tell me Vinyl, what are you doing down in this dusty place?"
I chuckle. "I'm not sure. It's the organ. There's something special about it."
She rolls her eyes. "Well don't get superstitious on me. Come, I've made us reservations!" She takes my hoof and gives it a light yank.
I eye her over. "We're going out? This late? Wow, Manhattan really took you for a ride," I say with a grin.
"Sweetie, I took it for a ride. Now come on!" She sounds whiny. "They're at Octavia's!"
"Hah. Well, alright I guess." I follow her out the door and through the castle. I had heard of Octavia's, of course. Fine food, good music, and amazing ambiance. I wonder to myself just how she could afford it.
Outside the castle gates I find a chariot waiting for us. We climb into the back, and the puller kindly shuts our door. I settle into the plush seat cushion, looking through the tinted windows.
"Do I know how to travel in style or what?" she asks.
I smirk. "Yes, I suppose."
And we are off.
~~~
The restaurant is in fact nice, with a blue-violet theme. A huge, ornate chandelier hangs from the painted ceiling. Tables are scattered around, and in the center stands a large stage where a group of violinists are playing. Rarity and I are shown to our corner booth by a chivalrous maitre d’ who gives us menus, then departs. There is a candle in the center, flickering away.
I take my folded napkin off the bread plate in front of me, setting it to my left before making sure that the silverware is aligned. Rarity does the same. I doubt she would have kept me around long if I wasn't refined. The thought brings a grin to my face.
"What?" she asks, inspecting herself. "Have I spilled something?"
"No, I'm just thinking. So, what's the occasion?" I ask, levitating the menu in front of me and cracking it open. Its glossy shine is dulled by my glasses.
Rarity smiles. "Just a celebration of reunion." She too levitates her menu up, her eyes rolling over the various items. "Do you know what you'll have?"
"I think so. This stuffed mushroom looks good," I say. It does, really. Stuffed with fried peppers, chives, cheese and beans... my stomach growls. I grin. "You?"
"Hmm..." She points to something, taps it with a thinking look, then nods. "You know, I'll have the same thing. It does sound good."
"Hah, fabulous."
She nods again. "So tell me again about that organ."
"Oh yeah. So I was at the wedding, and a few days later, guess who visits me?"
She leans over. "Who?"
"Princess Celestia."
Rarity gawkes. "Well what did she say? You must tell me!"
The waiter approaches, and we order two glasses of wine. When he leaves, I continue. "She and I were talking of music, and after she discovered how, ahem, sophisticated I am--"
Rarity snickers.
"--she told me of the organ. Being a pianist, I couldn't stay away! Then I played it... and I swear, there's something about it. I keep going back to it."
Now, she squints. "Vinyl, that's weird. It's a dusty organ in the castle basement."
"Sure, but it sounds amazing! You should come listen sometime!"
"I'll... think about it," she says. By the way her face scrunches up, I figure it is a no.
The waiter returns, balancing the two tall glasses on his wings. Gently, he sets them down in front of us and takes our orders, then leaves again.
I levitate my glass up and press it to my lips. As the burgundy liquid flows down my throat, I smile and close my eyes. No matter what anypony says, I do have refined tastes.
A sharp pain shoots through my head. I stop drinking and cough, setting the glass down and fanning my face. I cough some more, and Rarity gives me a questioning look.
"I..." I take a deep breath, and the pain in my head dulls to a throbbing quickly. "I have a headache. I'm fine." I put a hoof to my head and rub it gingerly.
"Are you sure?" she asks, setting a hoof on my shoulder. "You don't look well."
I smile to her, brushing my mane aside and sitting up tall. "Yes, I promise."
Truth is, I'm not. I am short of breath, doing my best to fill my lung. Sucking in, I shook my head at my futile efforts. My heart begins to pound and I grip my chest. I feel sick, and the gurgling in my stomach doesn't help.
I suddenly have the urge to do something with my hooves. They tap against my will, one on the table, the other on my chest. I bite my lip and try to stay up, but the world is beginning to spin.
"Vinyl?"
"I'm fine," I snap. My jaw clenches shut and begins to ache. A trickle of sweat rolls down my forehead to my nose, then drips off. As it falls to the cushions below, I feel... fine. Air floods my lungs, my gut stops growling, and the world slowly comes to a halt.
I look around, biting my lip and swaying. The only thing left is a dull throbbing in my head. Rarity scoots over and wraps her forelegs around me. She is warm and soft, and I smile.
"Vinyl, you look sick. What have you eaten today?"
I think. "I don't know," I say. My voice was slightly weak. I clear my throat and try again. "I haven't eaten anything since breakfast."
"You really ought to eat more. What have you been doing all day?" She looks down to me, and I can see worry shimmering in those bright blue eyes.
"Uh..." What had I been doing all day? It was blurry. I blink rapidly, but shake my head. "I can't be sure. I remember playing the organ, does that count?"
Rarity sighs. "How do you not remember what you've done today?"
I shrug. "I don't know, I just... don't. Probably wasn't even important." I blow at the candle. It wavers but keeps burning.
"Yes well, it is no doubt thanks to all that partying you do. Vinyl, my home is always open to you, you understand this, yes?" She gives me a warm yet firm glare.
I nod and smirk. From the corner of my eye I see the waiter with the food. "Thanks Rarity, now let’s eat!"
~~~
Dinner went well, at least by my standards. No more freakouts. I walk down the dark hallway of my apartment, turning into my living room as a cup of steaming coffee drifts behind me. It's comfy here, for an apartment. I have a nice couch, a lamp, and a few pictures of none other than me. Ponies say I'm egotistical.
I think they're jealous.
I sit on my couch and sigh, rubbing my head. The coffee floats up to me, landing gently in my hooves. The couch is soft, forming to my body as I lay back on it. I am sure that headache came from my lack of coffee today. I can't help but drink the stuff. I pour the drink down my throat and take a long sip.
I am in a fury, and I love it. A metallic taste fills my mouth as I match the songs. My body clenches, and more tears escape my eyes.
I blink. My head throbs again, and I groan. What just happened?
Again my hooves begin to tap. I set my coffee down on the coffee table and tighten up. I don't understand what this is, what that was. Whatever it was, it was vivid. Like a memory, but... it didn't happen.
I shake my head and breathe out slowly. The pain leaves, and I relax. Perhaps it's time for bed. Too lazy to stand, I yawn and stretch out on the couch, closing my eyes and sinking further down. Within minutes, I can think no more.
~~~
The calendar says a week has gone by. Not that I can tell. Things begin to run together after day in and day out of clubbing. I have bits though, sitting right there on my kitchen counter. I sit at my breakfast table, alone, poking at my salad. Light pours through my small window, gleaming off the pile of bronze coins and reflecting onto a clipboard of sheet music for the organ.
As I crunch on the green leaves, find myself wondering what this place would be like with someone else. Maybe I'll get a roommate. Nothing romantic, of course. I swallow and pause before taking my next bite. Now that I think about it, my romantic inhibitions are gone. They left some time ago, and now, well, I just don't care not for any stallion or mare. I shrug and continue eating. It's not like I'm bothered.
I plan on playing that organ again. After my... incident last week, I've had a strange want to play it. I couldn't describe it, and telling it to Rarity would probably be too weird. I place my hoof before my mouth and stifle a chuckle at the thought of how she already thinks I'm mad.
Wrapping breakfast up, I toss the dishes in the sink, nod to my bits--I do love them so--and head out the door. The streets today are filled with ponies, though that's not unusual for Canterlot. The nobility all give me courteous smiles and nods as I pass them. One thing I have to praise the nobles for: if you made your fortune fairly, they respected you despite what you do. I myself could own a mansion yet live in an apartment. I'd say I deserve the respect.
My head is high as I reach the castle gates. I stride through the castle itself--today it's rather busy--and I wink to the guards. Not that they can tell, as my eyes are hidden behind purple glass, but I still do it for fun.
But as I stride through the halls, just before I reach the basement stairs, a guard approaches me. "Miss," he says.
I stop. "Yes?"
"Princess Celestia is waiting for you in the organ chamber. Do not keep her waiting." He rolls his eyes. "Miss Twilight Sparkle is in town, and she gets touchy."
I laugh and nod. "Right, I'll keep that in mind." Then, I walk past him and head down into the cool basement. The halls here are, of course, old, and there always seems to be a draft. My mane brushes against my cheek as I walk into the darkness. Okay, so it's not really dark. It is dim, with one or two candles placed here or there, and only a few guards.
Turning, I see a familiar wooden door that must be as old as Equestria and smells like Rarity's perfume. I laugh again and push open the worn thing. It creaks on its hinges, agitating my head. I wince and slip into the towering room. Princess Celestia sits by the organ, staring up at it.
"Hello Princess," I say, closing the door. The emptiness of the room creates a bouncing echo.
Celestia turns around and offers me a small smile. Her expression is heavy, despite the
guesture. Her eyes sag, and her head is heavy. Not even her ears flare at my appearance.
"Are you well?" I ask.
She sighs. "I suppose. Listen, Vinyl, I need to know: why do you play this organ?"
I sit next to her. "I-I don't understand. I told you why I play the organ when, well, when I found it. Now please, Princess, have you seen yourself? Your mane is a disaster, and you look sick."
"I assure you that I'm fine," she says. She tries to smile, but it falls to a smirk, and even
then I can tell she's strained. "And all you told me was that you were 'in love with the music'."
I can't help but force a giggle. She probably needs it. "You're not fine," I say, brushing my shoulder against her. "Tell me, what's wrong?"
"I... I just didn't sleep well this past week. But back to this. Why do you play this organ?"
I rub my chin. "I don't know. I mean, I know how to play, so why not? I come from a family of pianists. I suppose it just comes naturally."
She looks up to the organ. Her lips curve down into a frown. "Vinyl, when you get the chance, come see me in my quarters. I'll make sure the guard knows you're coming."
I blink. "Well I suppose I can come in, say, about three days? Is that alright? I had planned on visiting a friend in Ponyville."
With a nod, she says, "That works for me. Now, I need to go. I look forward to seeing you in three days." Then, she disappears in a flash of light.
I blink, shrug, then shift my seat onto the organ bench. It creaks beneath my weight, but after a few moment, I am comfortable. I breathe out a sigh as a smile tugs up at my lips. I bring my hooves up to the keys, but suddenly, a bang echoes through the room causing me to jerk. I cautiously turn and shoot a hard look to whoever just burst through the door so carelessly.
I make a face when I see it is a guard. Only one, clad in armor, strides in. He nods to me, and I nod to him, though weakly. He shuts the door--still with no care!--and sits down, staring at me. I give him a nervous smile. "Um... hello!" I call to him.
He nods again, his expression unwavering. Biting my lip, I look up in thought. What was a guard doing here? I always played alone. Working under somepony's eye would be... well, not new. I did it almost every night. Even still, it will be strange.
My hooves land on the keys again, press down, and the first notes shoot out. Even under this new eye, I can still play. The feeling is euphoric.
~~~
The sun goes down, the sun comes up. A puff of steam to churn gears and cogs. The trainride to Ponyville can be a boring one, but it was over before I knew it. My saddlebags are packed with a book or two, some sheet music, and a dress, just in case. The air in Ponyville is warm and fresh, and as I walk through its streets, Rarity beside me, I realize how much I've missed my hometown.
We enter Rarity's boutique, and she invites me to set down my bags in her bedroom. I do not think she has a guest room, so I gently set my bags on her bed. She smiles at me and says, "Well I imagine you've had a long trip."
I chuckle, though she is right. My eyes burn and ears droop. It is hard to hold my head up, and I often bob. I never can sleep on trains or carts, they're too rickety. Still, I return her smile. "Yes, I suppose I did. I can't sleep now, though. I've got somepony to see."
She makes a face. "Aw, I'm not good enough?"
My hoof presses against my lips to suppress a chuckle. My gaze shifts to her window, where the midday sun looms in the sky. "You're fine, I promise. I just promised to see them when I got back in town."
"Who?" she asks.
"My parents," I say. I walk past her, and she nods to me. Her face drops from lighthearted to serious, but I give her a gentle nudge and a wink. Then, I trot down her stairs and out her door.
The way I was brought up taught me manners, style, and sophistication. I may have been born in Ponyville, but my parents are upper-crust Manehattan through and through. It was no surprise when they were appalled by my career choice. I smirk.
I walk down the baking road, past ponies busy shopping and vending. An orange mare walks past me, pulling a cart of stacked apples. I nod to her, and she tips her hat to me. She looks like a very down-to-earth pony. I like that. Ahead of me, the edge of town draws near.
I head out, leaving the noise behind. The fact that Ponyville is nestled in the rolling hills alone makes it quite, but once I am out of the town, I am in true silence. A small dirt path rolls ahead of me, fanning out and eventually dissipating before an iron fence. It is well kept, I notice as I slip through the gate. Somepony must tend to it.
I am now surrounded by small stone gravestones, each with a story chiseled on their face. I walk down a strip of crisp grass towards the only tree in the square cemetary. The huge oak towers above me, shading two lone gravestones. A light smile stretches on my lips as I sit before the graves.
A cool breeze brushes against my fur, and I stiffen up, sitting taller and putting my chest out. My eyes trace the words on the stones. Bit Scratch and Cloud Runner, my mother and father. I simply chuckle at what they would think of me now, a mix of Manehattan nobility and Ponyville simplicity. A wealthy, well spoken, well kempt mare who wears shades when she parties and drinks when she can.
I can remember my childhood fairly well, though the thought makes me frown. I sigh and remember the countless days my father would spend away in Manehattan and Canterlot, and the way my mother always held me to 'higher standards'. Always wanted me to be better.
She taught me my business sense, she made me as talented as I am, and she is the one fueling my love for the organ. I'm sure that if my mother could be buried with an organ, she would be.
Taking in a deep, soothing breath, I close my eyes and clear my head. It is silent, peaceful here. It always is. I suppose that's why I keep coming back. For the peace and quiet that I never get in the city. And, I suppose, for my family. I love them too.
When I take another deep breath, I can hear something. It is distant, away, and I cannot make out what it is. I open my eyes and look around, yet at the same time, it is gone. I blink. There is nopony here but me. The rows of headstones are all silent, and the hills beyond are void of anything but swaying grass.
I turn back to the graves, sigh, and let my body relax again. Once more I close my eyes and breathe in deeply, exhaling slowly. Then, it is there again. Still it is faint, ghostly even, barely touching my ears. I keep my eyes closed, and the noise grows closer. It is forming a pattern, drifting on the wind. It is... familiar.
It grows closer and closer, louder and louder. It is soft, soothing, and still ghostly. Yet it grows ever faster. I tense up and try to focus on it. It sounds like music, a string of melodic notes humming through the air. It gets closer and closer, and my hoof begins stroking the grass. It is louder, as if it is entering through the gate behind me. What is it? I cannot place my hoof on it.
Wait. I hear it clearly now. Fast, aggressive? I clench my eyes tight. My ears flick. Everything is crisp. It is... organ music.
I jerk, falling on my back and panting heavily. My eyes thrust open and I am shaking. The grass caresses my back and the wind brushes against me. My breathing slowly calms, but my thoughts are swelling. My newfound energy is gone, and I feel ready to pass out. Perhaps that is what happened. I nod at the thought. I am tired; hearing my own music must be a side effect.
I have a shaky laugh and press my hoof to my chest. My eyes slowly shut again. Yes, I am just tired.
Then, everything stops. I swallow hard and open my eyes, staring up at the swaying leaves high above me. I hold my breath and think, think hard. But my efforts are of no avail. I have never heard that song before.
But why was it so familiar?
Exhausted, my heart still pounding away, I roll to my hooves and stand up, heading back towards town and leaving my parents--and the strange music--behind.
~~~
Rarity snorts a laugh as we trot through the night air. I can still taste the lasagna from moments before, treated with key lime and doused with red wine. We stumble on, a bit tipsy I'll admit. Things are blurry, spinning, and funny to say the least.
Very, very funny.
I laugh as well. I have no idea what I'm laughing at. She's funny though. I like Rarity. We lean on each other and trudge down the road. It is dark, and the moon is out, making things pale. The houses on either side are dark and silent, just like the town. It doesn't stop us, though. Hah!
We see the boutique ahead. It's... tall. Tall and wavy. "Well Miss Rarity," I say, mocking her accent. "You are doing quite well!"
She snickers and waves her hoof, rolling her head around. Cute! "Ah, well where would I be without that little investment of yours?"
I smirk and roll my eyes. It was almost like the world flipped. I stumble, my legs almost giving out. Thankfully she catches me in her magic, pushing me back up. We reach her door, and I extend my thanks by holding the door open for her, as I am quite the chivalrous mare.
She slips by and I shut the door behind her. It latches shut. Snickering, I follow her as she drags along the dark, cold hallway. Flashing a seductive wink, she nods to the stairs. A sly smile spreads across my lips. We fumble our way up her stairs, reaching the top and slipping into her room. It is pitch black.
Feeling our way across the room, we hop up onto her bed. Our eyes lock, well, for a second. Then we giggle and roll.
"Fine! Just fine! I don't need you!"
I sneer. What was that? I heard it. I heard it clearly.
"Vinyl?" Rarity slurs.
I blink. "Um... huh?" My head falls to her pillows.
She lays down fully. "You were... frozen." There is a short pause. "So... we ate dinner--"
"Yes," I say, grinning again. "I would love desert." I sloppily roll on top of her, pressing my body down on her and pushing my muzzle to hers. Our lips meet, and I rub her sides. She's soft, very soft, and I can't stop stroking her. We wiggle around on her silky sheets, giggling like morons.
Tonight was going to be good.
~~~
Two days and one headache later, I am back in Canterlot, more precisely, the castle. I walk through the halls with my head held high. My eyes are alert, sharp, and I am attentive. The hallway is warm, and that feels good. The wind todays was harsh and unforgiving.
Up ahead, the Princess's private chambers came into view. I nodded to the guards that stood on either side of the heavy doors. They nodded back, firmly, with blank faces. I shrug. My horn is aglow with my pink magic, and I slow my breathing and focus behind closed eyes. I press my magic to the door, feeling it's cool metal through my mind. It swings open at my command.
As I walk in, the door shutting behind me. Princess Celestia is sitting before her tidy vanity, combing her hair. I grin at the thought of how she does it--her mane is always swaying!--but I ignore it and walk over to her, bowing slightly. Her room is huge, I notice. I've been here before, of course, but it never fails to amaze me. The soft carpets, luscious bedding, silken curtains and lavish decor always tickle my sweet spot.
I'd never say that aloud, even as a mare of my caliber.
"Hello, Princess," I say.
She looks down to me with gentle eyes. "Vinyl, I'm glad you made it." Her horn lights up, and suddenly, I feel a gust of wind ram into my side. The princess chuckles, and I hear a latch. She must've opened a window. "Oh my. Well that wasn't smart."
I force a chuckle. "Indeed. So, um, how are you today? You seem to be faring better."
"Yes, I'm feeling well, thank you," she says. "You look great yourself."
I look into her huge mirror. My cheeks are turning red as I pat down my mane. I bite my lip. "Thank you."
"So Vinyl, I want to talk to you about that organ." She slowly stands and walks to her window, sitting before it and looking outside. Her pink curtains are tossed aside. "Come on, sit for a while."
I lick my lips and think for a moment, though don't hesitate to get up and take my seat beside her. She looks down to me and smiles again. "So what about the organ is bothering you?" I ask.
She sighs and looks out. I do the same, watching the ponies beneath us as they scuttle about the streets. The wind seems to have picked up, and anything that could sway did sway. My eyes landed on a tall white building with multiple windows. I could see my balcony, though I could only pray that everything was still on it.
"I just want you to be careful with it, that's all. I'm sure you noticed the guard last night," she says.
I roll my eyes and grin. "I did. They aren't exactly stealthy."
She stifles a giggle with her hoof. "I'm sorry if he disturbed you."
"Oh, not at all."
She tilts her head back for a moment, breathing out slowly. "Good."
"But..." I swallow dryly. "Why should I be careful with the organ?"
There was a silence. Princess Celestia opened her mouth, then shut it. I eyed her over cautiously.
She drew in a breath. "That organ? I made it."
My jaw dropped. I quickly snapped it shut, but my eyes stayed wide. "Really?" She nods. "I-I knew it was old, but..."
"I made it a very long time ago. I want you to be careful with it." She pauses again and scans over her land. "You can never escape the past."
I jerk, my eyes shooting wider than before. My heart is pounding, and I feel a trickle of sweat creep down my forehead. "W-What?"
She looks at me and makes a face. "I said you can never be too careful."
The air grew chilly for some reason. My throat is dry. Even still, I force a smile. "Ah, yes, you are right."
Again she looks me over. "Are you alright?"
"Y-yes, yes I am. Thank you. I must go, if you'll excuse me."
She blinks, but a fresh smile tugs at her lips. "Of course. Please, have a wonderful day, and be careful won't you? You seem... distant." She nudges me. "Are you sure you are fine? If something is bothering you, please tell me. I am royalty, after all. I'm sure we could work something out." She flashes a wink.
My cheeks fill with head and I scuff at the floor. "Thank you again. Really though, I am fine. I've just had a few sleeping problems, nothing to worry about."
"Only if you're sure," she says. "Well then I'll let you go. Please, visit again when you can."
"I will Princess."
With that, I leave. And yet, as I pass the threshold of the door, I hear something. Something soft. It sounds like thoughtful hum.
~~~
The bass ruffles my fur. Being behind my turntables once more makes me smile, and I can't help but melt into my music. After my meeting with the Princess a few days ago, the music feels euphoric. The bass booms and pulses through me as I pump my my hoof in the air.
Lasers carve a path across the floor, running over a sea of ponies who bounce and sway to the beat. I watched as the ponies on the balcony at the end of the club stare at me, grinning, watching me. I smirk and laugh, just as the bass picks up again.
My laugh, however, feels empty. Why? I don't know. I continue to mix and rock and shake but, despite it all, my smiles are empty. Why can't I smile? Well, I can I suppose. I'm wearing one right now.
Things feel down, though. I feel wrong. I shake my head and turn up the volume. My hips shake vigorously, flaring my tail and tossing my mane. I close my eyes and ride the music away, only tonight, I can't. I don't know why. I just feel down, and no amount of forced smiles or beats per minute is changing that.
I just feel guilty.
But why? I haven't done anything. I press my hoof to the warm vinyl, push it up and scratch the disc. All eyes are on me. I see them when I look into the crowd. The dancing ponies, the lounging VIPs, everypony looks to me, Vinyl Scratch, for their joy tonight! Everypony except me, myself. I... frown. I frown and shake my head.
I feel like I'm sinking. I stomp my back hooves to the beat as the song slows down. Thrusting myself upright on them, I strike a pose. "What, is this supposed to be a party?" I shout. The crowd below cheers. I squint and grin. "That was weak!"
Their roar is deafening. I thrust my hooves to the sky and tilt my head back. "Yeah!" I shout, falling and slamming my hooves on the turntable. The music booms back into the room.
It doesn't help. Of course.
It isn't debilitating though, and I continue to force my lips up and my ears stay alert. The bass pounds on into the night.
~~~
I made it. My work is finished, the bass has died, and I've traded the cold metal of the turntables for my soft, plump mattress. I moan, squirming beneath my silky sheets. I don't splurge on many things, but the invention of celestial foam was too much to resist.
I drew a deep breath and pushed down on my pillows, sinking further down. Pale moonlight flitters through my curtains behind me, skittering across my bed. My shades are tossed aside on one of my bedside tables, and I smell of the alcohol that all nightclubs are infamous for.
My throat is a bit dry from the shouting, but it always is I suppose. I sigh and rub my eyes, clearing my throat. My head rolls left, and I have no want to stop it. Burning, my eyelids fall shut. Everything is heavy: my eyes, my ears, my limbs and my neck. Heavy with exhaustion, heavy with guilt.
I still feel that guilt, beating down on me. Even now in the solitude and peace of my home, I cannot think of what would cause it. I want to think that I am tired, worn down from the night's events. It was a fairly easy night, though...
My eyes crack open, and immediately they land on a small, wooden frame that stands beside my shades. I squint, my face scrunching up. Then I relax. It is a picture, a photo of two ponies standing side by side. My horn lights up, and it is engulfed in a pink aura. I levitate it between me and the ceiling.
A speck of light grows atop my horn as I grip the photo in my hooves. The room flashes pink, and I can see clearly. The photo is of my parents, on their last visit to me, ever. I remember snapping the picture at the train station begrudgingly, all that time ago. It wasn't too long ago, I suppose. Long enough, though.
A tall white stallion with proud wings, a striking blue mane and a bag of bits for a cutie mark, stood next to my mother, a slender tan mare with a horn that was almost covered by her white mane. I smile as I look them over, remember how I did not smile as they left.
I hardly smiled around them at all.
My mother here does not smile either. She never smiled, not even around my father. She was a rock: cold, hard, emotionless. I don't know how my father even fell for her, but he did. But just like him, I was never good enough for her. It was always do this, learn that. Higher standards, higher standards... it was really all I ever heard. I frown.
I was always happy to see them go, always happy to be given the room to be my own mare, and in truth, I suppose it was her that made me who I am today.
The most distinct thing I can remember about her is when she decided that I wasn't going to be good enough. She settled for my piano skills, which she forced onto me when I was a filly. Piano, then turntable, and I suppose she gave up at that.
I gave up as well. I love her, but only because I owe her my fame. It still doesn't make this photo easy. I had disowned them, and they knew it. Shortly after that picture, I spoke my mind. I told them that I didn't need them standing over me, that I was off to begin my career in full. And I told them that no, I wasn't going to be a business mare, I was going to play my music!
I told them that I did have enough class to mingle with the royals, but that I wasn't so stringent--like them no less!--as to turn my nose up to 'inferior' ponies. I was, and am, proud of myself. And I didn't need them!
I cough, taking in a deep breath and breathing out slowly. The clock ticks on, and it is far too late to be getting excited. My eyes refocus on the picture again, and I bit my lip.
About a day after they left, I got a letter from the Ministry of Mortality. The train had derailed on the mountain and careened down the side. The last thing I told them was why I didn't need them. It's ironic, isn't it? I hate irony.
Wiping my eyes, I levitate the picture back to the table, scooting my glasses aside. I didn't know what to feel, and I still don't. Rarity came to visit me after that. I told her I felt guilty, similar to what I am feeling as I lay here in bed. The difference was, I felt guilty for not feeling guilty.
I was free, and I was glad. That made me sick with guilt. Such a strange feeling that was, feeling a layer of guilt veil my happiness. I'm still ashamed. I wasn't raised better than that; I became better than that. And after telling them that straight to their faces, then falling back on it made me feel awful.
As I lay here, I still feel that guilt. It is different, yet the same. The morph, blend, and dance together. My stomach gurgles and things begin to spin. I wince as pain explodes in my head. A tear squeezes out from the corner of my eye.
The guilt--both of them--is strong. It is sickening. It is like two shades of red.
I levitate the picture up again, stare at it, and scowl. Everything tightens, and the world gets slow. My magic squeezes the frame, and a heat sears my mind. I give a muffled cry, shake my head and force out another tear. The picture raises above me, the frame splitting and the glass cracking.
I open my mouth, suck in, but no air fills my lungs. With what I have left, I scream. I scream and hurl the photo to the wall, and it connects with a loud crunch.
~~~
The guard is behind me, but my guilt is not. I sit at the organ today, and for two days now, I've been plagued by a throbbing headache and the sick feeling of guilt that I had once thought was gone.
No matter. I was here to play the organ, and that I would do. My hooves have been restless, and it was time to sate them. I press them to the keys, gently pushing down. Brilliant notes shoot out of the pipes, filling the room with a vibrant, lively melody. With ease I move up
and down a scale, closing my eyes and relaxing my body.
The music is strangely invasive now. I am not sure how it could be described, but it feels as though I am hearing more of the music, something that I hadn't heard before. My teeth grit as I play. The music still soothes, the melody is soft, but my teeth still grind against my will.
My hooves hit the keys harder, and the notes are louder, more aggressive. My eyes clench, squeeze shut. The rhythm increases, the music speeds on. I now hear the organ as haunting, the echo in the room like a ghost. The notes bounce off the walls, shooting into my mind and rattling my thoughts. I feel guilty, sickeningly so.
Everything is fast. My heart, my thoughts, the music, and even my guilt. Damn my parents! Damn them! I wish I hadn't seen that photo. I should've cracked it a long time ago.
But I loved them! Of course I did. Of course.
My teeth grit so hard they hurt. My cheeks fill with heat and I begin to sweat. I am pounding on the keys, calling the music forth like the wail of a banshee. A groan morphs into a scream, and the pain is too much.
I jerk, my eyes snapping open. There is a hoof on my shoulder, and the guard it staring at me with wide eyes. I gasp, air filling my burning lungs. Had I not been breathing?
"Miss, are you hurt?" he asks. His tone is of genuine concern, I note. I look down to my hooves to see them shaking, wrapped around my body. I feel a wave of cold run down my back, and suddenly I am light. Things are fuzzy.
"I-I am, thank you. I just... got lost in the music."
He licks his lips and pauses. "Miss," he says, "you weren't playing."
I gawk. "W-what?"
He takes a sharp breath and his eyes flick to the door. "Please follow me." I open my mouth, ready to protest. "You're being summoned by the princess."
~~~
I peer into the room. "Princess?"
She is lying on her bed, lounging it seems. Reclined, a thick novel floating before her, she looks to me and eyes me over. She creases a corner of her book and sets it down beside her. "Vinyl? Please, come in," she says, sitting up. "Did... did the guard send you?"
I look behind me to see the him. He pushes a smile onto his lips and nods to me. "Yes," I say, turning forward. I slip through the door and trot over to her. Her horn lights up, and I hear the doors click behind me. Looking over my shoulder, I see that they are closed.
I smile to her, but beneath it, I am so nervous that I fear I may begin to shake. She pats a spot next to her, motioning for me to sit. I do so, looking up at her with that forced, chiseled smile. "I-is something wrong?"
She licks her lips, opens her mouth, but pauses. "Tell me, what happened in that room?"
I swallow, but my throat is dryer than a desert. "I... I thought I was playing the organ. It was intense, but..."
"Were you playing that organ?" She gives me stern look.
I am taken aback. "Um, n-no, I--"
"How do you feel right now?"
I pause, slowly shutting my lips. I look down to my hooves and press them down on the soft mattress. How do I feel? "I-I don't know."
"Vinyl..." she says, bending down. Her muzzle is next to my ear, and I can feel her warm breath tickle my fur. "How. Do you. Feel?"
With quivering lips I say, "Guilty, angry, I have a headache... but I can manage."
She sits up tall and draws in a sharp breath. Her eyes are focused on nothing, at least, not that I can tell. I watch her carefully, biting my lip and sinking down low. My head throbs, reminding me of my pain. I wince.
Eventually, she looks back down to me. "How have you been sleeping?"
"W-well, it's been rough, b-but I make due," I say, looking away. I can't help but wonder why I'm being questioned.
Celestia sighed. "Vinyl, I need to tell you something. Something I withheld from you, and wrongfully so."
I watch as she bites her lip and hesitates. "I told you that organ was old," she says. "I told you that I made it. But I didn't tell you when, and I didn't tell you why. Now, if I'm going to take it away, I going to give you everything."
"I-I don't understand..."
A sweet smile appears on her lips. She looks down to me with soft eyes, and despite the guilt and the pain, and the shock of before, I feel comfortable. I force a smile of my own. She says, "That organ is a thousand years old."
For the second time that day, I gawk, wide eyed and open mouthed. "What? That's incredible! How has it survived this long? Most instruments are rotted, o-or decayed."
She nods. "It is incredible. I built it to never rot by infusing it with magic. But it's construction is not important." She sighs, and I watch her horn glow. A picture from her vanity floats across the room, landing in her hooves. It is of Princess Luna, looking to her moon. Celestia smiles.
"Do you know the tale of the two sisters?"
I think. Of course I knew it. "Yes," I say, "they teach it in school."
She nods again. "Then you know of the... atrocity... I commited? Against my sister?"
"They taught us that you did it for the sake of Equestria..."
"I did," she says bitterly. "But I did not do what was right. One thousand years ago, I did something that haunts me to this day. If you could have seen the pain on her face..."
I scratch my neck. I feel even more guilty now, though I do not know why. Perhaps it is the sadness; it radiates from the princess. Her eyes are fixed on the picture, focused. "I could not sleep for days. I could not eat, I did not want to drink. Everything was dull and grey, and I felt only guilt.
"Eventually, I grew angry and bitter. I lashed out at my personal servants and guards, and I refused to attend court. Every day, every waking moment of my life I saw my sister's face, her agony and horror. The remorse..." She pauses for a moment to breath. "I didn't build the organ because I enjoy music; I built the organ because I needed an escape from the cursed loop that my mind had woven. It was as if i was reliving the banishment over and over.
"So I built the organ, and every spare moment I had, I played it. I poured every ounce of guilt and self-hate into it, I empty my mind in its keys and deafened my pain with its melodies." She looks down to me. "Soon I was obssessed. The organ drove me mad. If I didn't play it, my hooves would tap endlessly, and sometimes, I would hear my music, my song, off in the distance...
"I began to get headaches, nausea, but no matter what I did, I couldn't stop playing. Escape, Vinyl... it is so powerful, that sometimes it traps us and we do not even know it."
I am speechless, and when I try to form a word, my lips fumble. The organ wasn't forgotten, it was ignored, locked away. I had been playing an instrument that had been tuned to the torment of a goddess.
"I did not think it would cause you harm," she says. "I was wrong. Vinyl, do not go near the organ again. Please."
I shake my head, squeezing my eyes then blinking rapidly. "Princess, I-I'm fine, really. That story, is..." Haunting. Scary. Mental. Horrifying. "...sad. But I can't..."
"I understand. That is my point, don't you see? I know. You don't want to stop. But Vinyl, you must. You must stop." She shoot me a soft gaze, but beneath it, I see frozen daggers. My heart flutters and I tighten.
But I cannot stop. The organ calls to me, its music, that haunting melody, is mine to play. I will not let that slip. "I..."
"No, Vinyl. No."
I frown. "I won't stop. Princess, that organ is important to me."
"I understand this, but--"
"No!" My frown morphs to a scowl and my heart begins to pound. "No! If you did, you'd... you'd find a way around it. That organ is important!"
She shakes her head. "Vinyl, you are fighting to play an organ. Do you even realize this?"
"I... you... you just don't think I'm good enough."
She blinks. "What?"
I know what this is. My jaw clenches shut and my teeth grit and grind. "You just don't think I'm fit for the organ. You don't think I can handle it..."
"No, Vinyl, I--"
"I'll show you higher standards!" As soon as the words leave my lips, I gasp and shake, writhing as the pounding in my head explodes. I groan and cringe.
Suddenly, I feel something. Something encompassing me, like a blanket. I force open my eyes to find Princess Celestia's wing draped over my back, and her eyes gazing down upon me. My breath returns, and I shake my head vigorously. Again, I feel guilty, and it hits me in the bottom of my heart.
"Princess, I..."
"It is all right," she hums. She bends down, and her voice is so low, it is like a whisper. "Go home, go to sleep. Do not go near the organ, and I promise things will be fine. I am here for you if you need me. Should you feel like going to the organ, come to me first. I promise that you are in good hooves."
I breathe now as the pain in my head dulls to a throb. Nodding, I say, "O-okay. Y-yes, I will come to you. I promise."
She breathes out a sigh and smiles. "Good. My guards will escort you home. Visit again soon, tomorrow if you can, okay?" I plaster a smile onto my face, stand, and head for the door. "And Vinyl," she says. I turn and face her. "I'm so sorry for this. All of this. I should have known better than to let you play that organ."
My nod this time is quick and sloppy, but she smiles and nods back. "Good night Vinyl."
"Good night, Princess."
~~~
The bass pounds. Princess Celestia may have told me to rest, but I cannot stop. I have to work, I must eat! Though... when was it that I've eaten last? I cannot remember? It is not important, though. But when had I last slept? My days are running together.
I shake my head and pump my fist to the bass, but tonight, I just do not have the vigor to push on. My hoof does not thrust as fast, my bass does not drop as hard, and everything I do feels pointless. I feel pointless. I feel guilty.
I scowl, but quickly tuck it away beneath a grin. My eyes scan over the crowded club. The darkness is cut with thin glowing lines that bounce with their dancers. The strobe light is on and working, and the black lights are burning brightly.
The song I am playing comes to its end, fading out to the deafening roar of the crowd as they cheer me on. I flash them a smile--it is my job to flash smiles and play recordings--and kickstart the next song.
But the intro makes me flinch. Organ music blares, turning the nightclub into a cathedral. I look up at the speakers, then down at the turntables. This isn't the song I wanted to play. I wanted to play my new dubstep mix, not organ music.
My eyes flick down to the crowd, and I find them bouncing and dancing, happy as usual. I squint, looking them over as though they were all mad. Well, they must all be mad; dancing like this to organ music made no sense. My teeth were grinding again, and my headache stabbed my mind and scrambled my thoughts.
The organ music grew louder, sending haunting, echoing notes resounding through the room. I feel sick, and my stomach gurgles. I snarl and slam my hooves to the board, stopping the music as fast as I had started it. Everything goes quiet, and for a split second, I hear bass.
The crowd looks at me, making faces. I stutter and stare out into them, but in the end, I do not know what to say. A few murmurs sprout within the mass of ponies, and I can hear them asking questions.
Suddenly, the organ music blares through the speakers again. It is the song. That song. The song I had heard before. The song I am searching for.
I press my hooves to my ears and scrunch my face up. My hooves press hard into my ears, but the organ music still plays. It plays on, and on, unrelenting and unforgiving. I cry out as the urge to rush to the castle basement hits me like a wave.
My eyes shoot open, focusing on the crowd who, by now, are staring at me with open mouths. I begin to hyperventilate, and spots cloud my vision.
With no other choice, I dart away, galloping backstage and out the emergency exit.
~~~
Alright, so she told me to stay away. But I cannot. I will not. Even now, as I stride through the basement labyrinth, my hooves tap and my jaw tightens. I shouldn't be down here. I would tell the princess how sorry I am. I don't like disobeying her. It makes me feel guilty.
And yet, she should not be keeping me from something as harmless as an organ. My teeth grind, sending pain through my jaw. I simply groan and stomp my hooves with each step.
My headache has gotten worse. I cannot sleep with it. It is as if I have a knife embedded in my skull. It got worse a few days ago, at the club, and since that night I have not returned. I have enough bits in the bank to last me a lifetime though. I am rich. I am smart. I am sophisticated and strong.
And I can hold my own with an organ.
The door comes into view. Thankfully, the guard is nowhere to be seen. They had seen me in the castle, sure, but I had hoped that by now they came to simply accept my presence. I press my hoof to the door, pause, then shove it open. It swings ajar, slamming into the wall with a crash.
I step inside and shut the door with my magic. There is a heat in my stomach, like I've just been stabbed. My eye twitches, and I cannot stop my head from jerking. The organ is in front of me, tall, empowering, ready for me.
I saunter up to it, a grin on my face, despite the guilt that rots my core and the anger that boils my blood. Licking my lips, I draw in a deep breath and sit at the instrument. My hooves hover over the keys, and I choke a laugh in my throat.
Just as I am about to press down on the organ, the door behind me blasts open. I snap around and scowl at whoever has disturbed me.
It is the princess. "Vinyl!" she booms. "Step away from the organ, now!"
I snort. "No!"
There is a blinding flash of light, and when I blink, her muzzle is pressed to mine. My eyes match hers. Hers are soft yet stern, and I sneer. "Vinyl," she says again, "I told you never to come down here again."
"Who are you to keep me from this?" I growl.
"I am your princess!" she yells. She stands tall above me, glaring down upon me with a frown. "Vinyl, you're turning into me! The organ is getting to you!"
"N-no!" I shake my head and blink. My mother shoots daggers at me with her stare.
"I told you Vinyl, told you you weren't good enough. You weren't even good enough for me, much less your princess!"
"You're dead!" I scream, kicking her and falling backwards. I slam against the keys. The pipes above shoot out an unholy note that grinds in my ears.
"Not good enough for the me, your princess... I'm glad I'm gone! You're a disgrace!"
She laughs, and I cry. Tears begin to stream down my cheeks, dripping from my chin and matting my fur. I sniffle and writhe as the organ continues to screech. "I'm good enough, I'm better thank you!"
"Vinyl!" Celestia screams. Her face is pressed to mine. I gasp, jerking.
What do I say? I can't say anything! "W-what? I-I..."
I feel sick, angry, guilty... my mind is clouded, and the only thing to come out of my mouth are gurgles and stutters. Suddenly, everything is tingly. I look to my hooves and see them engulfed in a golden glow. I am floating, levitating away from the organ.
I look to the princess and see her horn is aglow. She is carrying me away from the organ. I want to reach out to it, press the keys again, but I am stuck, frozen in her grasp. My headache explodes, and I wince, squeezing out a few more tears.
"Vinyl," she says to me as we leave the room and wander through the basement. "For your sake, I'm sending you away."
"W-what?"
She nods. "Don't worry though, as I said, you'll always be in good hooves."
"B-but--"
"I assure you, you have nothing to worry about." She offers me a soft smile. "She's very generous."
~~~
They think I can't hear them. Honestly, how mad do they think I am? Obviously, they have their suspicions. I hear them talking through the door. They asked me to sit inside, to relax in the kitchen. They must think I've lost my mind.
I press my ear to the Boutique's door. Rarity is speaking. "I don't understand. Forgive me Princess, but could you say that again?"
The princess sighs. "Vinyl is under a lot of stress, and it's getting to her. I just want you to watch her, keep her safe, alright? Give her a quiet place to relax, warm food and a soft bed. I'm sorry to push this onto you at this hour, but..."
I snarl.
"No, no, it is fine. And besides," Rarity says, "it is not too late, and even if it were, I'd gladly take her in."
I hear nothing for a moment. Then, the princess says, "Thank you. Make sure she stays here as well. I don't want her leaving the town."
"Um, yes, I can arrange that I suppose."
"Alright. Now, I must return to Canterlot. Farewell." I hear the flap of wings.
"Farewell Princess." Then, the sound of hooves on dirt grows loud. The door clicks and swings open, knocking me back. I sit in the hall and sneer at Rarity. "Oh, um, Vinyl!" she says. "C-come with me, I have dinner in the oven."
"Yes, well, I appreciate it, but I'm afraid I'm not hungry," I say, turning away and trudging down the hall. I shake my head and start for the stairs, but she rushes up to me and places a hoof on my flank.
"Dear, I understand that things are tough right now... being relocated must be hard. You should visit Twilight one day, oh she's a darling. You and she have something in common," she says. I stop and sigh, and she takes opportunity to lean on me, nuzzling my neck.
"Right now, though... why not follow me upstairs? I'll take the stress off your mind."
I shove her away with my shoulder and frown at her. "Thanks, but I'm fine." That said, I huff and walk away, heading upstairs and into her room where my saddlebags are. At least she was kind enough to take them up here for me. Or maybe she was just patronizing me.
Either way, I pick them up from her bed and drag them to the window, where the dying sun shoots its last light in. I open the bags and pull out a thin clipboard. I hardly had time to grab it when Celestia was rushing me through my apartment, but I got it.
I stare down at the papers, flipping through them with my magic. She could take away the organ, but not the music. Lines and lines of sheet music flash before my eyes. My bare eyes, I remember; I did not have time to grab my shades. I mutter a curse beneath my breath.
As the pages flip, the music fills my ears. I hear it. It is the song. The song I have been trying to find for such a long time.
"Vinyl?" The song stops.
I look over my shoulder to see Rarity in the doorway. She slowly comes in and sits next to me. "Vinyl, come eat. Please?"
I set the clipboard down and look out her window. Ponyville is still alive, with ponies wandering and the streets with friends and foals. I snort.
Rarity sighs, her eyes downcast. Then, from the corner of my eye, I can see her ears perk up as she spots my clipboard. She picks it up and examines it in the light. I glare at her, my face hard. I snatch it away, putting it beside me.
Her expression is soft as she looks up to me. "Vinyl," she says, "please, stop with the organ. Just relax, please. I worry for you."
I can't help but let loose an angry laugh. "It is not right that she should let me play it for months, then suddenly keep me from it out of personal phobia."
She blinks. "Vinyl... the wedding was three weeks ago..."
Everything freezes. My heart even seems to stop in my chest. "W-what?"
Now her expression melts. "Alright, you need to rest. Come on dear, let's get you to bed."
I swat her hoof away. "No! I know when I started with the organ. You can't lie to me..." I levitate the sheet music up and examine it again, turning away from Rarity.
"Sweetheart, please--"
"Go eat your dinner," I snap.
I see her bite her lip. Her cheeks are turning red. "I know you are having a hard time, dear, but rudeness will not be tolerated."
I slam the clipboard down. "Oh, rudeness?! As if it wasn't rude to snatch me away from my home, my work, and my... my... escape. Don't talk to me about rudeness, Rarity!"
"Now Vinyl..."
"Shut it!"
"I will not tolerate this!" she warns.
I scowl and squint, pressing my nose to hers. "Fine. Just fine, I don't need you."
She gasps. "N-no, that's not what I mean--"
Too late. I huff and trot away, leaving my clipboard and other belongings. She and Celestia must have talked about this. I cannot even trust my only friend. I storm out of her bedroom, through the halls of her home, and out into the cool night air of Ponyville, muttering curses beneath my breath.
As I walk down the empty streets, I look behind me and see Rarity rushing after me. She is laughing. Laughing at me. I knew I couldn't trust her! She's no better than everypony else. They're all trying to keep me from the organ.
I think, and think hard. I had once learned a spell, a long time ago when my mother tried the 'you're an awful unicorn' approach. It is exhausting, but worth it. I dig deep in my core, focusing, pushing my magic to my horn. My eyes squeeze shut and my body tightens. I freeze on the road.
The clop of hooves behind me grows louder. She is almost upon me. A few more breaths, one last push...
I dissapear in a flash of light, and yet, everything is dark.
~~~
I did not know pain until I woke up. Everything already hurt, but now, with my magic depleted, I was in agony. Every step I take makes me wish for icy death, and my face begins to hurt from the strain.
Without a destination in mind, I am lucky to even remain in the same town. I awake on the other side of Ponyville, just outside a little tree-cottage. It is midnight, I guess by looking to the moon.
One step at a time, I trudge to the center of town. The streets are empty, ghostly, with the exception of the music in the distance. That sweet, sweet music that invades my mind. My head is aflame and my core rots with anger and guilt, but I continue on. The midnight train should be arriving soon, and I need to escape this jail tonight.
The train station is, as expected, empty. Good. I creep around the ticket booth by walking on the tracks, then hop up onto the platform. After a few minutes, a light appears in the night. The organ music grows louder, shooting from the pipe atop the train.
I hum along. I know this song now. It is the song. And I intend to play it, Princess's wishes or no. The train pulls into the station, the music shooting truly and surely from its stack. I step aboard the hollow, empty car before me, take a seat and wait to be taken home to the organ.
~~~
I still didn't sleep. I don't sleep anymore. I don't need it. My eyes are wide, alert, even if they do burn a bit. I creep through the Canterlot basement, having avoided the guards by setting fire to the gardens with a match I had retrieved from my apartment. A huge smile is plastered to my face as I near the organ. I can already hear its music.
The door comes into view, and though my muscles scream bloody murder, I walk on. My movements are jerky, spastic, and it makes me chuckle. I am so angry it is funny, and this whole charade makes me feel a bit guilty.
Even still, I push on the door and force it open. What I see makes me freeze. A guard is standing by the organ, glaring at me with icy eyes. "I was told you'd probably be back," he mutters.
My heart pounds and sputters as I shift uneasily. I look left, I look right, and the only thing in this room besides the organ is the door. Wait, that's it! The door!
My horn lights up, and I rip the door from its rusty hinges with a horrific screech of twisting metal. The guard--a pegasus--lets his jaw drop, and I grin. It takes all my might, and I begin to sweat, but I lift the door high above my head and begin to spin it.
"M-miss, put the door down!" he commands.
I laugh and spin it faster. My eye twitches and my teeth grit. I draw the door back, pause, grin at him, then slug it forward. It flies to him, and before he can dodge, it slams into his jaw and I hear a horrifying crunch. The guard is on the floor, limp, crushed by the splitting wood.
I ignore him and trot up to the organ. I sit at the bench, examine the keys, and smile. I smile so hard that I feel tears running down my cheeks. Smiles create tears, right? Of course they do!
I laugh heartily as the darkness fades. Everything slowly morphs, changes, and soon, everything is crimson red.
I jerk my head and snort, pushing my hooves ferociously to the keys. The first notes shoot out, a perfect match to the song I hear each day. It sends a wave of pain through my spine, exploding in my head.
No food, no sleep, and yet I play perfectly. This is it. This is the song. I grind up and down the scale, hammering down on the notes.
I am in a fury, and I love it. A metallic taste fills my mouth as I match the songs. My body clenches, and more tears escape my eyes.
My cheeks are soon wet, dripping with pain. The pipes above continue to wail a hauntingly familiar melody out, stabbing me with guilt and anger.
I look up to the scarlet pipes to see them drip from their mouths with clear tears. I laugh, laugh hard, and play on.
"Of course I'm good enough!" I shout.
"No," a voice whispers in my ear.
"Shut up mother! You're in your place!"
"As are you, you ungrateful--"
I snort and slam down on the keys. "It's done Rarity. It's done!"
"Vinyl!" I hear from behind me. I do not turn around, but I know the voice anywhere. "Vinyl, get off the organ!"
My horn lights up as the melody pumps out of the crying pipes. I feel sick, dizzy, fuzzy and hateful. The bench beneath me slips, and I stand on my hind legs. The bench levitates up, presses against my back, then shoots away.
I hear a crunch, but continue forcing the song--the song--out of the organ. It burns like a thousand suns, yet it yearns to be played.
The sound of hooves behind me is frantic, rushing my way. With all my magic, I push the intruder back.
"You won't stop me!"
"Do not play that song!"
"I'll do what I please!" The organ continues to cry.
Suddenly, a pair of hooves grips my sides. I look down, but they too are red. I buck with all my might, slamming my hooves into the attacker. The organ, though silent, is louder than ever, tearing its melody through me and ripping apart my soul.
I squirm and thrash as my core collapses and dies. I feel it decaying, and I fight harder. The organ needs to be played. The organ needs the guilt and anger. The organ needs me!
I spin around and slam my hoof into Celestia's cheek. A small spurt of crimson slashes against my lips, and I taste metal. She glares at me, laughing. I laugh back.
Struggle. That's what I do. I struggle. It's what I've always done, and yet, people have always wanted more. More from me! My mother, Rarity, Celestia! I slammed my hooves atop her head and push up, desperately trying to break free of her grasp.
Then, in the midst of my struggle, I feel a piercing pain in my chest. I buck and squirm, but I am stuck. Slowly, I look down and see that in the heat of the battle, I had skewed myself atop her horn.
Quickly, she throws me off and I slam down on the organ. The song is interjected by a scream, and when I look up to the pipes, I see the tears have turned to something thick and red.
Then, I look down to see Celestia, grinning and laughing. She stands over me as I collapse, laughing, grinning, staring at the hole in my chest. I cough, twitch, but no matter what I do, I cannot move.
Blood begins to pool in my throat, and I finally collapse with one final sigh. Just before everything fades to black, I hear the final note of the organ fade in the darkness.
~~~
I suck in deeply, blinking the odd feeling away. Deja vu is the strangest thing to ever hit me. I shake my head and look around. I am in a tall room, alone, with no company other than a tall organ.
Ah, yes. That's where I was. I press my hooves down to the organ, close my eyes, and breathe out with a smile as a haunting melody flows forth.
Every week or so, I play this thing, trying to find that perfect melody. I don't know what it sounds like, what notes to play, or what scale it is. But I know it's out there.
Epilogue.
A tear rolls down Celestia's cheek as she sits alone, in silence. Her guard lay dead beneath a door, and Vinyl is slumped on the organ, a hole deep in her chest. Celestia's mane and horn are soaked in crimson fluid that gushed from the silenced Vinyl.
She swallows dryly as another tear creeps down her cheek. Vinyl had turned into her, through and through. Angry, guilty for whatever reason. She had lashed out, striking Rarity away, or so her letter claimed. She must not have been sleeping, from the creases beneath her glassy eyes.
Celestia stands, leans forward and nuzzles her cold cheek, letting her tears mix with the blood. She stays there for a moment, before pulling up and looking down at Vinyl.
Vinyl's crimson eyes stare up at the organ, and for a moment, Celestia hovers her hoof above them, ready to close them and let her finally rest. But then, she shakes her head and turns away.
Slowly, shaking with every step, she saunters to the door. Her horn is alight once more, and after a moment, a loud crunch echoes through the room. It is followed by another, and another, and soon dust is falling from the ceiling.
Then, a stone the size of her head falls, landing on the ground with a crunch. Another falls, and behind it is another. The roof is caving, sucking the gardens below. As Celestia steps through the door, the room is sucking the ground above down. A plume of dust shoots out of the threshold, bellowing into the hallway, and engulfing her.
As soon as it clears, she sees the entrance to the organ room is blocked by rubble. Her head hangs low and her body slumps.
She sits there until morning. The organ is crushed, sharing the same tomb as its victim. She shakes her head, tears still streaming down her cheeks, and none of the guards can get her to budge.
She has traded one burden for another. Her escape had trapped her before, and it had done so again. Guilt swelled in her, along with rage, sadness, and hatred.
It was true, she decided, that nopony can escape the past.
The End.