To God-Emperor Goldner,
So I understand that you are going to be making a second My Little Pony movie? I must say that you are taking a pretty big risk considering the one in 2017 didn't do quite as well as we had all hoped. I also understand that it will be released in 2021 which can mean only one thing, it will not be centered around me as it should be! It won't glorify me like I deserve and it won't even include any of us from Equestria, it will be G5.
Also from what I understand, it is going to be CGI/3D. What I would like to know is what the hell are you guys doing over there, sniffing paint or breathing gas fumes? Seriously, don't you know how hideous that is going to look? I thought that almost nopony, I mean no one, liked that style. Isn't that the same thing that this company ran by an icky mouse does with their "animated" movies? Perhaps it is all for the best that you are not going to include any of us because we would all look like shit using that style.
I can't help but wonder, what if that G5 movie bombs so bad and sucks so much that it will turn everyone off to G5? What if all of a sudden you had people demanding the return of me and my serfs, I mean subjects? What if you had people gathering outside of corporate headquarters demanding you bring Friendship is Magic back and demand that I am the star of every episode? What if they demand StarXie and what if they demanded that Starlight and Trixie both be Alicorns and be ruling over the Crystal Empire?
If that were the case, you'd have to cave in to the demands of the fans wouldn't you? I have some advice, just scrap G5, have there be a tenth season and do what I am talking about.
Hoping G5 Bombs,
Princess Celestia
Dear Princess Celestia,
I'm going to let you in on something, it is my subordinates that are making the decisions regarding the next movie going to be CGI and not be a sequel to the G4 movie. Now one thing I am going to make sure of though is that the film doesn't have too high of a budget so that if the film doesn't do good in theaters, I won't be prevented from buying a mansion or even worse, having to sell my mega-yacht just to cover the financial loss.
Now you should be happy you and your serfs won't be in this because I will be honest, your gluttonous flank would not look good in CGI. You see, CGI makes ponies look thirty pounds fatter than they are and for those who feast on cake non-stop, it would make them look fifty pounds fatter, especially if they have a sun on their flank. Now you are right about the icky mouse outfit's movies using CGI but hey, if it generates us a profit, it can look terrible and I honestly won't care.
Regarding if that G5 movie is bad, well then it would be bad. By that time, we would likely have already made a season of it and then it could wind up being a throw-away generation like G3.5 was. We could then move on to a G6 and just to spite you, I would have Luna banish you to the sun and have Daybreaker be the one that everypony fears, including your precious little daughter. Also, just to spite you I would have her marry Fluttershy since I know you don't like her and likely never will.
Now I am growing tired of your constant bitching and speculation so I think I shall cut this letter short. I have just had a hot apple pie delivered to me and if it goes cold, I will make sure that Starlight never ascends, ok.
Wishing You'd Leave Me Alone,
God-Emperor Brian Goldner, CEO of Hasbro, Inc.