Oh no, they're Goddesses now!

by James Pwyll


When you go down to the woods today...

"Alrighty, boys, we've found our spot. Time to get to work."

The men from the local village walked on forward, crossing from their open field into the edge of the dense forest before them. In their hands were axes, which they promptly raised up high before giving an almighty swing into whatever their nearest tree was. The moment these blows hit, the trees shook, and the tiny creatures in their branches, be they birds, squirrels or mice, began to flee, heading into neighbouring trees to look on helplessly at what was transpiring. The men, unaware of the distressed animals, continued on with their work, but they soon found themselves being watched by an entirely different pair of eyes. Ones which showed not fear, but irritation.

"Halt! You shall go no further!"

The voice was calm and quiet, yet it rang with an authority that stopped the men dead in their tracks. They ceased their hacking, looking in all directions to see where the voice might have come from.

"Er...hello?" one of them called.

This call was answered soon, for from high up, from amidst the bright green leaves of the forest canopy, a lone figure began to descend. The men did not recognise her, but they knew a Goddess when they saw one, and so dropped their axes and fell to their knees, bowing deeply before the divine figure who now gracefully landed in front of them. Clad in the same bright blue hue of the sky above, Fluttershy placed one hand upon her hip, while using her free hand to wag her finger in a disapproving manner towards the men.

"Shame on you for disturbing the forest and terrifying these poor creatures!"

The men, looking genuinely apologetic, nodded frantically at the chastisement they were receiving.

"Our humblest apologies, Fluttershy. We meant no disrespect to the Lady of Nature! We only sought to create more open land for our cattle to roam!"

Folding her arms, Fluttershy sighed, then gave them a small smile before getting down to one knee. She gently patted the head of the man who had spoken, who looked up into those gentle eyes as she spoke with that quiet grace of hers.

"You meant no ill, so I forgive your trespass. But you must seek farmland elsewhere now."

The man nodded again, as indeed did his compatriots, and it looked as though everything was about to wrap up nicely. However, with a great crashing sound, something fell down from the sky right behind the group, causing all of them to turn. It was another Goddess, a blonde one this time, bearing a not-dissimilar sort of garb to Fluttershy, albeit a dark green. As she took a moment to adjust her hat, she stomped forward, her feet causing massive cracks in the earth as she walked. Clearly this was someone in a slightly irked mood, and her voice reflected that.

"Now hold on there, Fluttershy! These ere folks have every right ta make more farmland, an' dis ere forest is prime fer that!"

Fluttershy nodded patiently.

"I appreciate that, Applejack, and while I can certainly empathise with giving animals a place to themselves, there are also plenty of other animals I have to consider. Creatures who have called this forest their home for a very long time."

Applejack rolled her eyes.

"Oh, fer the love of...Fluttershy! Yer talkin' bout a bunch o' squirrels an' stuff! What these folk here...er..."

She turned to the nearest one, a youngish lad with green hair.

"What's yer name again?"

The lad, clearly unused to being spoken to by a Goddess, fumbled a bit.

"Um...Timber?"

Applejack nodded firmly, jovially slapping a hand down on the boy's shoulder which, given her divine strength, nearly dislocated the thing. Timber's face betrayed his agony, but he held it in while the Goddesses continued debating.

"Folk like good ole Timber ere have a right ta turn this land ta good use!"

Fluttershy stepped forward, her eyes narrowing.

"And I say this land is to be protected from such things!"

The men gulped, sensing tension between the two, and one of them, an older fellow, stepped forward quickly.

"Oh! There's no need to argue, my Ladies! We can just find some other land to..."

But it was too late, for Applejack was fuming at her friend right now.

"Ah can't stand by while ya go on an' say that some forest is more important than givin' a livelihood ta these farmers!"

Fluttershy placed her hands upon her hips, never budging an inch from where she stood.

"Applejack, you're my friend, but my role as Goddess of Nature demands that I not relent here!"

To that, Applejack had just about had enough.

"Alright. Don't say ah didn't warn ya!"

Turning, she put her fingers in her mouth and blew an ear-piercing whistle, which carried across the lands. There was a pause for a time, but after the long silence there was, at last, a sound. It was subtle at first, but then it grew louder and louder. All mortal eyes widened with terror as they finally beheld it. A dog, white and brown, but one that was as big as a house, if not larger. It ran across the fields before grinding to a halt before Applejack, who smiled to the beast before floating up and giving it a scratch under its chin.

"Good girl, Winona! Who's a good girl? You're a good girl!"

The giant dog wagged its tail happily, but Fluttershy was not impressed, for she too turned, looking into the darkness of the forest before speaking.

"Angel? Be a dear and come on out, would you?"

The men, naturally, were just about exhausted from all this, and as they waited for whatever else was about to show up, one of them walked to Timber, whispering in his ear.

"Um...should we go?"

Timber just winced again.

"Can't...talk...can't...feel...arm."

Finally, Fluttershy's "Angel" appeared, bursting through the forest with a bellowing roar. It generally appeared to be a rabbit, but like Winona it was massive in size, and bearing a pair of blood red eyes and sharp blue horns. To complete the demonic image it's tail was even aflame at the end. The two beasts glared and hissed at one another, all while the mortals cowered in-between. The two Goddesses, standing atop their respective pets' heads, looked to one another fiercely.

"Last chance ta back down, Flutters," Applejack offered.

But her friend simply shook her head.

"I speak for the trees, Applejack..."

Her eyes narrowed with intensity.

"...and they say WAR!!!"

The beasts roared and charged, heading right for one another. They battered their heads against one another, and the force was so great that shockwaves were sent in every direction, sending the mortal men flying, with one of them voicing his feelings on the matter as he was sent shooting into the distance.

"THAT WAS AWESOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!"

To top everything off, they even caused a far bit of damage to not only the closest of the trees but also the earth they were standing on. Moments passed, and the two Goddesses realised that, rather than a calm and peaceful field, they were now standing in the middle of an enormous crater. The two looked around, their previous anger subsiding and replaced instead with a degree of embarrassment.

"Um...ah think we may have overdone it...a bit," Applejack conceded.

Fluttershy, while blushing, nodded.

"Yes, we...we may have done that."

They looked to one another, chuckling and giggling nervously, before suddenly remembering why they'd started this feud to begin with. Fluttershy looked down from atop Angel's head, just in time to see one of the humans, Timber, who had miraculously survived this near-apocalyptic scenario, digging himself out from a pile of dirt that had landed on him after the crater had formed.

"Er, Mr Timber? Would you be open to discussing...well...a compromise?"

Timber, looking at the devastation around him, just slumped onto the ground and sighed.

"...Yes...that would be good right now."